Note: Hi there! This is my first ever Stargate fic, I've never attempted to write one before so I have no idea if it will turn out to be any good! I will try to be as accurate as possible, but please bear in mind that my knowledge of Stargate is not quite as substantial as that of Harry Potter. In other words, pretend any mistakes are not there! =). Thank you in advance to anybody who is kind enough to review this fic. You make me smile.
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate, or anything Stargate-related, nor am I making any profit from this.
1: Gone
Take Carter with you.
It had been a simple suggestion, but, as he lay in bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling of the cabin, Colonel Jack O'Neill couldn't help but feel that it had been the worst suggestion he had ever made in his whole entire life. In fact it was the worst suggestion that anybody, anywhere had ever made in the whole of their lives. And, knowing this, Jack thought the guilt of it was going to kill him slowly and painfully, because now, some month after he had given that fateful instruction, he had yet to have seen Major Samantha Carter return from wherever those alien bastards had taken her.
And yesterday morning the search for her had finally been called off.
She was gone. Jack was never going to see her again.
Of course he'd stormed into General Hammond's office and demanded that they keep on looking, that his team could keep looking even if others did not. But Hammond, albeit regretfully, had denied his request. It was a drain on resources, he'd said, and the SGC could no longer spare them. Jack had pointed out that Carter herself was one of the greatest resources that Earth had, she was so damn smart, they couldn't just leave her out there. But Hammond's response had been to give SG1 some downtime. For their grief, he'd said, and he was sorry. He knew how much Carter had meant to them. Jack had hated that last sentence. It made it sound as though Carter was dead. Jack couldn't stand the thought of it, couldn't stand to believe it, because if he were entirely honest with himself Jack knew that his life simply wouldn't be worth living if Carter wasn't in it. But he'd put on a brave face, like the soldier he was, thanked the general for his understanding, and then headed off to round up Daniel and Teal'c. They'd left the base together and came here, to Jack's cabin.
It had been a stupid idea, the Colonel thought miserably. It just didn't feel right, being here. He'd often offered to take Carter fishing here in Minnesota, but she had always offered him a small smile and politely declined his offer. She'd always claimed she had work to do, but Jack had finally concluded, after who knew how many offers, that she simply didn't like fishing. It seemed to Jack that Carter never took holidays, in fact she never took breaks either. He'd ended up taking trips down to her lab during the early hours of the morning to discover her bent over one of her little science-y contraptions, and, after making a pest of himself and fiddling with a alien-thingy or two he'd order her to go to bed.
He wished he were doing that right now.
He wished he were back at the SGC. It was better there. It was full of memories, full of Carter, and he needed that right now. Not some empty cabin with a few fishing rods and no memories of her at all.
There came a soft knock upon the door and Jack looked up in time to see it open a little, revealing a visitor.
"Jack?" Daniel asked as he squinted through the dim light at Jack's figures sprawled upon the bed.
"What is it, Daniel?" Jack asked, peering right back at him. Daniel. At first Jack had wanted to blame him for this whole sorry mess. If Daniel hadn't been so damn insistent about translating those pointless markings in that cave, Carter wouldn't have gone off on her own, Daniel could have gone with her. But it had not taken long for Jack to transfer the blame onto himself. It had been his order. That made it entirely his fault.
"Um...Teal'c and I...we were just wondering if you wanted to come do some fishing...?" Daniel asked hesitantly.
Jack found himself with a sudden desire to scream. Fishing?! Carter was out there somewhere, lost on another world, who knew what had happened to her by now, and they were asking him if he wanted to do some fishing?! It took all of his control to calmly shake his head and mumble:
"Nah. I'm good here."
"Right..." Daniel nodded his head a little, but made no sign that he was about to leave. After a long pause he said: "Jack?"
"Daniel?"
The archaeologist took a deep breath, hesitating again before he recalled:
"I was thinking...Sam never came fishing with us." When Jack merely stared at him, he admitted: "I...I'd kinda prefer to go home. Back to the SGC."
"As would I, O'Neill." a voice from behind Daniel added, and Jack suddenly realized that Teal'c was there too. He felt relieved that his friends had come to the same conclusion as he had. This way all he needed to do was agree with them,
"Well..." the Colonel said slowly, heaving himself into a sitting position. "I'm not gonna argue with that. Let's get out of here."
Jack had been wrong.
The SGC was not better. In fact he thought it might even be worse. He found himself wandering down to Carter's lab, only to find it dark and empty, some piece of alien technology abandoned upon the work bench. Jack reached to pick it up and turn it around in his hands. It wasn't the same, not when Carter was not there to watch him with mild disapproval, or even amusement, she always tried to hide the latter but he'd seen it. She'd turn away from him and busy herself with some paperwork, but he'd catch her smiling. When Carter smiled, Jack always wanted to smile back at her. He wished he could see her smiling now, that perfect smile she wore that made his heart leap and would leave him silently scolding himself and recalling the regs. Carter was his 2IC, he couldn't think of her like that.
Not that he could stop such thoughts, that was. But he liked to think he did try. After all, he did not want to ruin Carter's career, she'd work hard, really hard, he couldn't let himself ruin it for her.
Jack put the contraption back down upon the bench and wandered over to Carter's desk, staring down at the countless papers strewn across the surface, calculations and notes scribbled all over them. He could just envisage her bent over the desk, hurriedly writing down her findings in a rush to get to the next calculation, the next piece of information, the next nugget of knowledge that she'd store in that massive brain of hers. He could imagine the sound of her techno-babble as she excitedly explained her findings to him, loosing him halfway through the first sentence. He'd sigh to himself and know that next time he just shouldn't bother asking because he would never get what the hell she was talking about. But then the opportunity would arise again and he'd still ask, just to watch her face light up as she trailed off into her own little world full of electrons and particles and other kinds of overly complicated science thingys...
Oh hell. He missed her.
He wanted her back...
