Hello, guys! I'm back with another fanfiction. Sorry for not being here, but Happy New Year and since Valentines Day is coming up, Happy Valentines! Anyways today, we have HashiMada, enjoy! ( Some TobiIzu will be mentioned in this as well ;3 ) Review please!

Plus, this story will be written in Hashirama's P.O.V. plus this will be Modern AU.

I watched Madara, how he always decided to things his way. It's not that I cared or wanted to be so self-centered, it was because the way he directed it towards me. I don't understand as much as he thinks I do. Or maybe...he knows I don't understand. Our relationship has been back and forth, and surprisingly we don't ever argue. It's probably because Madara acts like such a seme, when he's just a submissive uke. And it's probably because Madara forces me to do things, and I go along with it, as if nothing's happening. As if he's not pushing me away, time after time. I mean yes, Madara is an Uchiha, and Uchiha's are stubborn, and less affectionate than us Senju. I'm not saying I'm growing out of affection, but I think Madara is not wanting me to, even if I do grow out of affection. Tobi and Madara's little brother, Izuna, have a successful relationship but Madara doesn't accept Izuna being with my brother.

He keeps saying,

"If he hurts my brother again, I will kill him."

I'm not surprised if he actually did, but even Izuna confronts his brother and says, "Stop hurting him!". There was this point in time where Madara was still extremely livid at Tobi for almost killing Izuna, to the point he would always keep doing horrible and despicable things to him. I'd try to stop him [ Madara ] from attacking and threatening my brother, but he would always push me away. Right now, in the present time, Madara is literally telling me when and when not I'm allowed to touch him. I watched how he narrowed he narrowed his eyes towards me and he continued to talk and lecture me. I held myself back from an upside down smile, and just observed him. Moments after, I adverted my eyes.

He always says, "You know I love you right?"

I'd always smile and nod. But now, it just feels like less and less. Like, he's lying to me. Sometimes I feel like crying, and begging for him to tell me what's wrong.

"Hashirama, you should know there's a time and a place to show affectionate?", he asked, raven-colored strands of his hair went over his left eye. I waited a few seconds but nodded in response. The Uchiha clicked his tonge, and crossed his arms. "Then you should know not to give me affection like that..."

I nod and put up a nice, gentle smile, saying that, I understood and I won't do it again. I lied. I can't help it. I love Madara and everything about him, even his cold, threatening attitude, even how he threatened my brother.

But sadly, it feels like I suffer from loving him.

If I tell Madara how I feel, how I really, really, feel...he will not care. He'll think I'm just spitting sappy words, for which he does not want to hear. Every time I would hug him, kiss him on the cheek, or even intertwine my hand with his, he'll give me a blank look and ask, "Why are you touching me?". Like we've never met, like we've never kissed before. So there's nothing I can do. There's nothing I need to do at this point. When our relationship first started, I was so happy and it looked like Madara was too. At least, just a little bit. I see those looks Izuna gives me, how he would give me that sympathetic look every time Madara pushes me off. It's like he's not trying to pity me, but he's saying, "I'm sorry you have to deal with a brother like mine." I'd stare at Izuna for a few seconds then give a closed-eye smile and wave my hand dismissively, replying, "It's okay! I'll handle him! So don't worry!". Then, the younger Uchiha would always give a grateful smile and bow in thankfulness.

I think I proved myself wrong.

I don't think I can handle Madara. There's this feeling, when I get around him. It's like a piercing in the pit of my soul, and my heart. I don't know how to explain it. It's like I know how to say it mentally, but I can't say it aloud, and every time, every moment I try, it get's lodged in my throat and it feels like I can't even breathe and my heart stops.

As I struggle to breathe through these corrupted lungs of mine,

How can I see,

How can I tell you,

That you're the light that makes us both shine.

But sometimes I wonder if you want to be on the stage,

If you want to be with me,

Or if you want me locked in a cage.

Why does this feeling get to me so much?

Like I can't even stop myself from thinking that you don't accept my touch?

Or maybe what I'm thinking is true,

And I just don't need to be with you...