*I don't own Jane and the Dragon or its characters

This was written as a request for SkyeElf using the promt "Happy Pill"

Hope you like it!


"You will never ask me again do you hear me!"

"I want mommy"

"Be quiet!"

I woke from a nightmare, all too common for my liking. I shivered at the remembrance of unpleasant memories that plagued my dreams. Mother, the word that brought unnecessary abuse, the word that wished I could cry in its arms, the word I wished could envelop me in loving kindness and understanding.

Getting out of bed, I had on clothes I wore the day before. Pulling on my boots, I left the warmth of my room to patrol the castle grounds.

It's early, but the castle is up and busy with its usual routine. It's been quiet, no intruders, no thieves, no disorder, but then again the castle and the kingdom of Kippernia is in a time of peace. After the usual patrol, I reward myself with a bottle of cider.

Passing by the throne room, I hid in the shadows as I watched the queen hug her children. A hug, is an act of holding someone tightly in one's arms, typically to express affection, something unfamiliar to me. Affection, longing for affection, receiving affection, those things are common emotions, but not for me. In this cold world, everytime I reach out for someone there is nothing but air, an empty space.

When they left, I walk over to where they stood. Waving my hands in the air, I couldn't feel the warmth of the scene from moments ago.

Those ungrateful brats better appreciate it

Leaving the warmth of throne room, I stepped outside, listening to the wind howl.

How many yesterday's have I passed to get here?

Going over to the shade of an apple tree in the garden, I could care less how cold it was. My hands felt prickly from the cold, but at least I felt something. I have not laughed enough laughs, instead I've shed too many tears, and cried too many sobs for two woman in my life. One I didn't know if she was dead or alive, and the other so much alive she was out of my grasp.

Jane is like a fire, fire can't be touched, only admired from a safe distance. Afraid of getting burned, I don't make progress, we only regress with every argument and every misplaced remark.

Drinking the last bit of cider from my bottle, I complained to myself "This cider is too sour"

My breath came out like a puff of smoke, it was quite humorous imitating Dragon without even trying. All around me, the ground blanketed in white, a common factor of winter.

Winter is a slow time at the castle, meaning the knights have it easier. It's a good season for drinking, and eating, and drinking. Too bad the foods of short supply, and the cider is not strong enough. It's the loneliest time of year and I have no one to share it with. Wearing a bear skin coat, Jane walks over and asked "Are you going to freeze to death or drink to death?"

"Neither, though they both sound good"

That little flame no one can put out, just complains even if it's for my benefit. With arms crossed, her nosed wrinkled as a flake of snow landed on it. She too I found humorous, just bark, bark, bark, was her complains like a puppy. Waiting for a few moments, I asked "Are you just going to stare at me frog rider? Paint a picture, it'd last longer"

Holding up my bottle of cider, I continued "Surely it'd last longer than this cider"

Kicking my leg, she lost her patience "Come on you drunken beef brain, get inside before your fingers fall off"

"How about you carry me there?"

I liked to make her mad, it made her shine even brighter, even if it furthered strain our relationship. In the blink of an eye, another thing I could feel was the stinging pain in my cheeks. Jane had just slapped me, and did I do anything about it? No, because I don't care all that much. Slapping the bottle of my hands, she yelled "Get off your arse! You have duties to do, like helping me clear the snow from the battlements"

Sometimes, it feels like she might care, but who could say?

"Fine fine, I'll humor you, but help me up"

"All this drinking is going to make you fat"

"So what? As least I'll survive through the winter"

Offering her hand, I looked at it, thinking whether it was a joke and she'll pull it back or she does care and she's helping. Looking up at her eyes, they watered as a cold gust passed by. Those watery emerald eyes looked right through me, as though trying to convince me it was alright.

It's these moments that I wonder if mother would have shown such kindness. Even if for a bit, I'll trust her to help me

Taking her hand, it warmed my numb hand giving it back some feeling. Feeling the rush of blood return to it, it prickled with pain but it didn't matter, it least it was something. Giving it a good tug, I was halfway up when she lost her footing and fell on me. The back of my head hit the tree, and her head hit my chest. My body ached in pain from lack of sleep, too much to eat, and especially too much drinking. Feeling a bit helpless, I just laid there, soaking in the warmth of my rival. Perhaps she was just as shocked, but we continued to lay there in the cold snow. Moments passed, the sky was white, and the little flame called Jane was right there in my arms. It felt a bit nostalgic, feeling that perhaps this is what it means to love someone. But she deserved better, someone warm, not cold like me. Taking in a painful breath, I muttered "Get off of me"

"I'm trying, but your arms..."

Sitting up, her eyes met mine, and for the briefest of moments I felt a tinge of heartache.

How long has it been since I felt warm?

Staggering to get up, she brushed off the snow, anchored her feet and helped me up. Brushing off the snow, I said "Thanks"

"No problem"

Then in the blink of an eye, I felt a sharp sting on my face. Touching it, I realized I was slapped again. Looking furious, she yelled "You are a knight! You must uphold to your honor! I don't ever want to see your lazy beef brained self drink himself numb again, or I swear I'll beat you so hard, you won't be able to sit for a week! Now get properly dressed then come help me"

"Do you care?"

"Of course, now hurry we don't have all day"

Watching her stomp off, I wonder if I had a mother would she scold me that way?

Six months Later

Running down an empty corridor, I stop before entering the throne room.

It took many months to find a reason, to find a reason to look for her, the woman I searched for in my fading memories. There are not many things in my life that are good. Food has lost its taste, the sky looks pale, even with my father passed away I have no peace. Sometimes I can see those little moments, back to the time when mother would kiss me goodnight, back to warm hugs and gentle smiles, to home cooked meals that tasted like something. That something is more than what I have now.

Pushing through the oak doors, I slowly make my way toward the king while I repeat the words over and over in my head it's time, there's no one to stand on your way anymore

Kneeling before the king, I petition "Your majesty, good day"

You don't have to run away

"Good day to you my knight, is something the matter?"

Everything is the matter

"I have come to ask for some time off"

I have a mission, a mission that I've spent my whole life preparing for

"Is it a business matter?'

"No your highness, it's personal"

"Seeing as your never rested even on the royal rest day, I grant your request"

"I will return as soon as possible"

"See that you do"

Leaving the throne room, I pass the courtyard where dummy stands lonely without a bog weevil Jane. Walking up those stairs that lead to the single standing tower, I wonder why am I even bothering to say goodbye.

It's not like it's forever

Months ago, in the middle of winter, she scolded me for drinking too much and slapped me really hard. Even now I can remember the sting of her words and of her hand, but thanks to that I turned my life around. However, our relationship hasn't changed much.

And I don't think it ever will

I'm in front of another oak door in such a short time, yet this time it seemed more harder. Knocking on her door, I asked "Can I talk to you?"

"Gunther?"

"Can I come in?

Opening her door, I stepped in before she gave me permission. In the air lingered the smell of smoke and of bee wax. I took a seat on her chair, gripping tightly on the arm rest to calm my nerves. As usual, I covered my fear with haughtiness "Are you just going to stand there with the door open? You're letting a draft in"

Confused, she retorted "Who are you to come in here and act like you own the place?"

Holding a book on catapults and levers, I said in a matter of fact way "If you want to be politically correct, I do own most of the castle"

Getting irritated, she took the book away "Either tell me why you're here, or get out"

Feeling a sense of superiority, I tease "I always have time to humor you Jane"

Slamming the book down on her desk, she said sarcastically "Gunther, I wish could say it's a pleasure to be in your company"

Picking up her hair brush, I dangle it in front of her "What's wrong Jane? Bothered that I own everything but you?"

Slapping the brush out of my hand, she yelled "I'm not on the mood to fight with you"

Suddenly feeling upset, I banged my hand against her desk "Look! You probably won't care, but I'm not here to fight"

"Then what are you here for?"

Feeling a sinking feeling in my stomach, I stood up "I just.. Just wanted to say goodbye"

Looking confused, she inquired "Goodbye? Are you going somewhere?"

Getting closer to the door, I replied "Yes, I don't know how long but it might be weeks or months."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

With a smirk, I poked her arm "I just thought I'd let you know before you send out a search party"

"Business trip?"

"It doesn't matter, anyway see you later frog rider"

"I thought you said it was goodbye"

Opening her door, I step outside and confessed "It sounds a little lonely if I do that, so I'll say see you later"

Looking away, I run off before I could hear her reply.

Gunther's Room

Smashing my father's favorite vase, I felt a sense of calm looking at all the smashed bits. Picking up my sack and picking up my sword, I felt a small sense of accomplishment for actually getting this far.

Removing a piece of cobblestone from the wall, I took out my money. I had enough to last me a while, but it felt more like a burden than security. Counting my coins, I had the strongest urge to throw them into the fire. Money was the reason I had a mother, money was probably the reason I lost a mother, money is the reason I am so busy all the time with deliveries, why I was behind on my training, why I think I'm so much better than everyone else.

Holding a gold coin, I thought perhaps if I was poor then I could have been good friends with Jane and with the others

Placing them back into the sack, I said to myself "Why is it that the more I have, the more afraid I am?"

Going down to the stables, I didn't bother asking Smithy to prepare my horse for he never liked me, and he had good reason to. As I saddled my horse, Smithy came in checking all the straps. Confused, I asked "What are you doing?"

"You don't want to fall off in mid gallop"

Feeling in truth that Smithy was a gentle giant, I said "Thank you, I appreciate it"

"Are you going somewhere?"

"A business trip"

With all the straps checked, he remarked "This is such a nice horse Gunther, take good care of her"

Mounting my horse, I said sincerely "If something happens to me Smithy, you may have my horse"

Waving goodbye, I gallop away, stopping outside the castle gates. Looking at her mighty gates, I felt a bit emotional "Goodbye Kipper Castle"

Behind me I heard a familiar voice, one that carried a spark of challenge "Don't you mean hello?"

Turning my head, Jane sat on her horse packed and ready for a trip. Dismounting my horse, I walked over to where she sat up high on Cleaver "And where do you think are you going?" I asked

"I'm coming with you"

"I never gave you permission to go"

"I don't need anyone's permission, I'm going"

"No you're not! Wait, why would you even want to go?"

Dismounting her horse, she confessed "Sir Theodore said to make sure you don't slack off"

"This is none of your business! Besides, it's dangerous for a woman to go on long trips"

"I'm a knight if I must remind you. I have Dragon and a sword at my side so there's no reason to be afraid"

Feeling my blood boil, I yelled "Why do you care? You don't even know where I'm going"

Calmly, she placed a hand on my shoulder, giving me those all-knowing eyes "You're looking for your mother, the one everyone speaks bad about"

Picking off her hand, I retorted "How would you know?"

"Because when you look at me and my mother you have a look on your face"

"That proves nothing"

"And you wince each time someone mentions the word mother"

Does she really care?

Feeling a tinge of hurt, I sighed "Jane look, I know you want to help, but this none of your business, you should just turn back and go"

Why do I care? What difference would it make of she goes or not?

"I won't"

Why? Why is she do stubborn? Doesn't she know she could die? Doesn't she fear death?

"Jane you might think the world is a nice place, where you can frolic through the fields while you're limpet on Dragon? No, it's not safe. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Go on!"

"You're a woman Jane! No matter how strong or respected you are, you'll always be a woman. Even if you're an equal as a knight, you'll never be an equal in life. There will always be someone stronger than you, there are those who care nothing of honor, who would to unspeakable things to you if given the chance! Don't you care?"

"Gunther, you don't have to protect me! I can do it myself! I'm as strong as any man, and I can take you down right now!"

Sighing, I looked down "Jane sometimes I wish you'd outgrow this naïve nature of yours"

"What?"

"Basically, I'm worried for your safety."

Confidently, she said "You're going to need my help"

"And why is that?"

"Dragon has an excellent sense of smell"

"Are you telling me I'll save a bunch of time just by having Dragon smell me?"

"Don't believe me? See it for yourself. Dragon! Come here Dragon!"

"What am I a puppy?" Complained Dragon

"Puppies are cute"

"Dragon is cute" she retorted

"What am I here for? Asked Dragon

"I need you to sniff Gunther and tell us what you smell"

"He was sleeping in a pile of hay eating apples, smoked meat and cheese, then he drank enough milk to kill a cow, and then he bathed this morning. There it's another smell, it could be his hormones, but then again who cares"

"Um...I'm not sure how to answer that"

In a matter of fact way, Jane declared "Simple, we're coming with you"

"Fine if you think you're so smart, then show me. Can Dragon find someone who smells like me?"

"Can you do that Dragon?" asked Jane

"I'm not a blood hound, but I don't see why I couldn't"

You'll never know what it's like to get sniffed by a dragon until you're actuality sniffed by a dragon. I shivered in disgust and fear as I complained "I feel violated"

"Don't flatter yourself." retorted Dragon

Blocking my view, Jane changed cut in "Did you get anything Dragon?"

"Other than his father's grave, I'm not sure"

"See Jane, I told you it's a waste of..."

"Wait! There's the tiniest hint of something. It's a bit odd though"

"What's wrong Dragon?"

"There's a scent, and it's not far from here"

"Can you take us there Dragon?"

"Jane, what an about the horses?"

"I'll bring the horses back, you just wait here Gunther"

"Why are you helping?"

"I like to solve mysteries, now wait there"

Watching her run back with the horses, I couldn't help but laugh "Silly girl"

"I see what's going on here, you like her"

"What are you babbling about lizard?"

"I can smell the you're emotions, there going wild"

"I don't care what you smell, there's nothing there"

"You're crazy about her"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I of all people should now myself"

"Fine be that way, these things have a way of coming out sooner or later"

"I don't like her"

Pointing a sharp finger at me, his tone turned serious "Look here, I'm only helping you since Jane is humoring you"

"Whatever"

Before either of us had a chance to complain, Jane interrupted "I'm back what did I miss?"

We both answered at the same time "Nothing"

Mounting Dragon, I thought we were ready to go, but before we took off, Jane said "Gunther, I know this is an unbearable situation, but if you don't hold on you're going to fall to your death."

It would be like hugging

I wanted to, I wanted it so bad, to feel that warmth despite my mind telling me it's wrong. Doing as told, I wrapped my arms around her waist. The girl who always seemed more like a boy, had the thinnest waist. It occurred to me that it's true, she was a girl. She had curves, hard to see but they were there. Her back strong, through it I could feel when her muscles contracted as she breathed. Her hair was all in my face, though I didn't hate it. It was much softer them imagined, and as it was all in my face, it was as though a secret wish of mine had come true. My senses filled with a strong aroma of roses, perhaps from a recent bath, he scent was unlike the body odor and stench I thought she would have. Without even trying, she was as feminine as any other girl, perhaps even more so. Becoming aware of such things brought much confusion for me.

What's the matter with you? She's your rival despite being a girl. You're strong, you can get through this

Her voice resonated through me interrupting my thoughts "Gunther why now?" she asked

"Huh?"

Thoughts we'll associate later

"Now what?"

"Why are you looking for your mother?"

"I've always asked father where she went, but he'd slap me across the face and say to mention it no longer. She's been in my dreams, she's always in my thoughts, I feel like it's time to find her since no one stands in my way"

"So, where are we going Dragon?"

"Kip Island, who could live on that rock surrounded by water?"

"It's an island, despite how small"

Landing on an island off the coast of Kippernia, we land on the sandy shore. Jumping off of Dragon, I lie on the sand looking up at the clouds. The summer sun burned hot, the breeze salty and cool, the view of Jane stretching in the corner of my eye was pleasant. Feeling relaxed, I asked "This is the first break I've had in years"

Looking down at me with those sparkling emerald eyes, she asked "Are you just going to lay there?"

Feeling amused, I teased "Can't we just work on our tan? Come on, let's relax for a few minutes"

Laying on the sand beside me, we look up at the clouds "It's nice out here"

Dragon groaned as he swayed "Jane I don't feel so well"

"Dragon?"

I didn't even flinch when she ran to his side, I just continued to lay there on the wet sand.

"I'm just going to sleep Jane, wake me up when you're done"

Hugging his head, Jane cooed at the gentle giant "Poor Dragon, I forgot"

"What's wrong with him?"

"He must be sea sick"

Sitting up, I look around, examining my surroundings "Does it look like anyone lives here?"

"There's so many trees, perhaps there is a cottage somewhere"

The island looked undisturbed, as though it hadn't been touched in centuries. Without anyone's permission, Jane started exploring. She didn't take orders from anyone except her mentor and king. Any man who got in her way would have to fight through those curls before they even considered asking her hand in marriage. Oh, and the line of suitors her mother lined up for her fell like a deck of cards at the sight of Dragon. Did it stop me? It dissuaded me a little though this adventure could be the chance to fix it.

"Let's look over there, I think I saw something"

Following her lead, we walk over to a path of broken, trampled trees "Looks like something Dragon would have done. Could it be the result of a storm?"

"It might have rained more than I would have liked, but I'm sure there wasn't any storm that strong"

"You clearly haven't ridden a Dragon during a thunder-storm, it gets your blood pumping"

What's wrong with me today? Jane looks too, too good. This is wrong, wrong, wrong, so wrong!

Walking ahead, I tried to hide the blush the invaded my face. I felt odd, thinking Jane looked pretty.

"Gunther? Are you alright?"

Chills ran through me, my mind flooded with a rush of pleasant memories with Jane yelling or beating me at staves, I always did find it laughable how her curls bounced with every movement she made.

It must have been the salty air, or the sun in my eyes, but I wanted to get away from Jane who was too lovely. Not paying attention, I fell face down into a sand pit "Maggots!"

"Gunther do you know what you fell in? You fell in a foot print"

"I did?"

Jumping out of the ditch, I stand beside Jane, examining the footprint "Don't they look a bit like Dragons?" I remarked

"Look! There's a trial of foot prints, if we follow them, then we might find some more clues"

I found no reason to argue, no matter how much it tickled me to see her irritated. I figured that the jokes could wait. Walking through a heavily wooded path, sounds of wild birds could be heard from a distance, they cried to one another, alerting each other of intruders. Large mushrooms covered the trees in shadier areas, and the earthy smell was strong. The island air unlike the cool dry air we had in Kippernia, instead it was hot and sticky humidity, very common for summer in the tropics. Colorful frogs hung on to the palms, stared at us as we passed, not even blinking, as though not wanting to miss the action.

As we walked, the roaring sound for louder and louder. Finding a clearing, we're met with a small pond with a waterfall. I rushed to the water, checking to see if it was free of dangerous fish. Watching the small fish swim away, I dunked my head to refresh myself "Much better"

"Gunther, did you even check if it was safe?"

"I'm man enough to deal with whatever comes my way"

Cautiously, she neared the water, peering over "The water does look nice"

Pushing her in, I laughed "Have a nice swim"

Grabbing my collar, she smirked "If I'm going down, you're coming down with me"

"You're an arse!"

"You too"

"What now? There's nowhere to go"

Look! The footprints reach the close to the water, do you think that there might be an entrance leading somewhere? What if it's underwater?"

"You mean like an underwater cave?"

"Yes! I'll forgive you this once for being a beef brain. We might nut have noticed if you don't dunk me, so yeah. Clever thinking Gunther, meet you on the otherside"

She thinks I'm clever?

Swimming under, we saw the footsteps heading toward a small tunnel. Emerging for air, I exclaim "This is impossible! We'll suffocate before we reach otherside."

"Fine! If you're going to be a baby, then I'll go"

A girl who knows no fear, the one who is my rival, unmatched in all that she does. It was maddening thinking of how such a being could exist. I didn't want to risk it, to risk a precious life for a selfish request "No you should stay here, I'll go alone" I said, hoping she'd notice my worry.

Her face softened, perhaps she had sensed my sincerity, but like a fire, she's hard to control. She replied, "We're a team Gunther, we have to stick together" before she went under without permission.

Taking a deep breath, I follow after her. We go through a spacious, dark tunnel, following the light. Surfacing the water, emerge in a cave. Gasping for dear life, I felt a sense of accomplishment "Ha... Ha... We... Ha... Made it"

Looking at Jane with slicked down hair, I remarked "You look nice this way"

"Gunther don't look at me over there"

Curled up asleep, was a black dragon. Covering my mouth, I thought to myself Another Dragon?

"Do you think Dragon got confused?" I whispered

Jumping out of the water, Jane made her way slowly. As I got out of the water, I slipped, and yelped "Ouch!"

"Quiet Gunther"

"Ja.. ...Jane?"

"What?" she whispered

"Be..be...Behind you"

Turning around, the large black Dragon looked ready to strike. Moving in front of Jane, I whispered "We're a team"

The black dragon looked amused by our presence, as though we're mere flies. Staring down at me, she asked in a deep, seductive voice "What do you want with me? Are you here for my skin? I must warn you that I do not taste good."

Digging my nails into my palms, I focus on the pain instead of my fear. I confessed "We're not here to slay you! I'm here to look for someone"

She laughed a proud laugh, circling me as though I'm its prey "There is no one other than me on this island, so who could you possibly be looking for?"

My eyes burned, wanting to give way to tears, but I bit down on my lip and continued "I'm looking for my mother, are you sure you haven't seen anyone else?"

"The only one here is I"

Moving toward the dragon, Jane looked fascinated by its existence. Jane always reassured Dragon of the existence of other dragons, whether it was true or not. Once and for all, it was and she was ready for it. Unexpectedly, Jane touched the nose of the dragon, asking kindly "What is your name?"

"My name is Aurora, a water dragon."

"Aurora, my name is Jane. We were wondering if you could help us?"

Sitting down, she answered politely "You're unlike the others. I apologize for my behavior, it seem I've gotten ahead of myself. What is it that you ask of me?"

Pushing me forward, Jane asked "My friend Gunther here is looking for his mother, have you seen anyone that looks like him?"

"Gunther? This boy here?"

"Yes"

Transforming into a woman before our eyes, she wore a black gown with floor length ebony hair, more beautiful than the queen, with green eyes. Running up to me, she took me into am embrace "Dear child, how long have you looked for me?"

"You're his mother?" Exclaimed Jane is shock

My body couldn't move, I felt numb. As though my mind couldn't register all that was going on, my voiced cracked as I questioned "Who are you?"

"I'm Aurora, the woman who gave birth to you."

Why?

Pushing her away, my mind flooded with thoughts.

Who is this? This isn't right! This is wrong!

"Gunther?" She called

Is that who I really am?

Offering her hand, she urged me to come near "Dear, come here I'll explain"

no! No! No!

"No this is... This is wrong"

"Be careful or you'll..."

I got too close to the edge and fell in the water.