A/N: Another messed up concoction from my messed up Goffick! Friend, Eris.

One bloody and horrible morning (every morning was horrible in Voldemort's eyes), he was sitting on his throne made of muggle bones when a highly annoying person by the name of Bellatrix burst into the room, flanked by other Death Eaters of her stupidity level. He glared, his crimson eyes glittering dangerously.

They all crowded around him, looking at him with curious\widened eyes. He furrowed his brow, wondering what the hell he did this time.

"My Lord, my Lord!" screeched Bellatrix in a voice so high pitched Voldemort felt as though his ears were going to bleed.

"What?" he said shortly.

"Well…The Death Eater and I were talking and…Um, well, we made a bet…" she mumbled, much quieter than moments before.

"A bet? What kind of bet?" he asked, his temper rising.

"Well…We thought that since you're..Er, you know…Sort of…Messed up, we thought that, ah, something else might be wrong about, er…Too…." Her voice was halting, her fear evident.

He raised an eyebrow…Uh. I mean…Skin above the eye…socket. Voldemort dosen't have eyebrows.

"Oh?"

"Uh…Webetthatyoucamepurple" she mumbled out quickly.

"Excuse me?"

Bellatrix took a deep breath.

"We bet that you…Uh…came purple."

There was a long awkward pause, in which no one said anything, waiting for someone to drop dead.

"IT WASN'T MY IDEA, IT WAS HIS!" Bellatrix screeched suddenly, pointing to a poor, innocent new comer by the name of Jack Melby.



Jack Melby was a sweet fellow by nature, wouldn't hurt a fly really, and loved to dance. He had family, a little daughter called Susan. She just turned two. And his wife, Chloe, was pregnant, and-

Voldemort glared at the scribe, Malissa, who was trying on his nerves by not copying things down properly. Malissa then smiles sheepishly, telling him to continue.

"Right. Avada Kadavra."

A little Silver Tear of Sadness fell on Malissa's parchment-

Oh sorry.

Anyway.

"So how are you going to prove this, pray tell?" asked His Evilness, a little surprised and bewildered.

"UH".

The intelligent response was echoed about the room.

-Brief pause where Malissa stares at Fed up friend, woops, Screwy Head, woops, Eris waiting for her to reply and tell her what happens next.--

Bella-Tits' face turned crimson when the Death Eaters had finally managed to goad her into giving the Dark Lord a hand job in front of everyone.

So, she did that….and uh, it didn't work.

Bella felt like kicking him. Stupid old men and their non-erect penisis!

Suddenly, a low ranked DA-(lol I mean 'e').

"My Lord! We've got Harry tied up outside…" he said, trying not to giggle at the smart idea of a joke. Harry wasn't actually tied up outside of course. It was simply the concoction of two-

Alright, fine.

Aaaaand.

Voldemort came purple EVERYWHERE!



The End.