Second fanfic, possibly a one-shot!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, never have, never will.


I was dispatched into a mission too soon. I was still mourning. I was still hurting.

Kakashi, Sakura and Sai were keeping an eye on me, making sure I wouldn't suddenly lash out. But I didn't care. I couldn't think of anything other than Pervy Sage's death.

He's gone. Actually gone. He's not out in some hot spring spying on women, he's not out in some bar getting drunk, he's not out checking on any information about the damn Akatsuki. He's gone, forever. And I regret showing him the worst side of me.

I always bad mouthed him and pointed out how lazy he was. All I ever did was point out his flaws. I never thought of ever saying goodbye. Because I always thought he'd be there. I never thought that he'd be gone.

But now he is. And I'm hurting so, so much.

He was one of the first people to ever accept me. He had trained me to become a better ninja, had taught me my best jutsu, and took care of me in a way that only two other people did – Iruka and The Third – like family. He bought me my clothes during training and cheered me up when I was feeling down.

He was family, and I let him slip away.

He was family, yet on many occasions, I thought of him as annoying.

He was family, but I never realized just how much I loved him until it was too late.

It's all her fault. Granny Tsunade killed him. She killed him!

No! No… I, I know she didn't see it coming. No one did. I know it isn't her fault, but I'm still angry. I'm still hurt.

And I want to kill the one responsible for his death. I want them on the ground, laying at my feet, begging for mercy. But I won't give them mercy. Whoever killed my family will pay for it, and dearly regret it.

I'm hurt, but now I'm gonna hurt the one who caused me this pain.


We were just finished with our tents and just about to check in for the night when Kakashi suddenly stood up, signaling for us to be on guard. We got up and tensed, ready for a fight.

The night was interfering with our vision, but there wasn't much to do about it. There was a new moon, so the only thing providing good light was the fire.

We heard a shuffling of bushes and four figures jumped out. Kakashi and Sai tensed, and Sakura lightly gasped. It was Sasuke and his new team. I couldn't figure out how to react, I was still too depressed to function properly, so I just nonchalantly stared.

Sasuke did the same, just hollowly stared at each of us until he finally turned his head towards me. He must've seen something, because his eyes slightly shifted. The silence between our teams thickened, a tension so strong it was hard to breathe.

I knew why the tension was higher than usual: normally the moment I see Sasuke, I go on and blabber about friendship and how I'm going to bring him back. Normally, the tension is mild, a small sense of calm and familiarity among us. But now there's nothing. And I found myself not caring.

My family is gone. Now I only have one person who truly cares about me.

I felt a dark being within me grin, and I held back a snarl. The damn Kyuubi was happy, and I certainly wasn't.

Sasuke and I stared at each other for a few moments, then we sprung into battle. Following our steps, so did our teams. Everyone ended up separating, battling individually. Sakura against that red-haired girl, Kakashi against the big guy with orange hair, and Sai against the guy with shark teeth.

Of course, I was with Sasuke.

We didn't speak, just fought. His eyes were narrowed the entire time, almost as if angry, but I didn't care. I heard that he had joined the Akatsuki… He was probably there to hunt me down for them. The thought had sparked a reaction from me, and I found myself angry as well.

"You bastard!"

I swung a kick to his side, but he blocked and took my foot instead, swinging me around then hurtling me towards the nearest rock. I twisted and landed evenly on my feet instead. I stood and glared at the asshole. He glared right back, and must've disliked my expression, for his response was,

"You're pathetic."

His insult made me seethe even more.

How dare this bastard go around bad mouthing me like if he knows me?! He just came into our camp and disrupted the peace, then came in and started fighting me! He was trying to kill me for the bastards that killed my family! He became a monster!

I gritted my teeth and sent him my most hateful look. He just glared right back. A sudden pull in my stomach made me freeze; the kyuubi was getting excited. I had forgotten that it feeds off of hatred and negative feelings. I breathed in, and took a wavering breath.

"I can't be angry at him. I'm angry and instinctively trying to find someone to take it out on."

Sighing and relaxing my shoulders, I averted my eyes from his, and thought of how to bring myself back to normal. I couldn't keep raging, I had to calm down and move forward, that's what the Pervy Sage would've wanted. He would've wanted me to keep going, strongly walking forward.

Pervy Sage…

I stared at the ground beneath my feet. I couldn't stare at anyone, especially at Sasuke. I was ashamed, I was planning to get revenge mere hours prior, and here was Sasuke. The one who I had always preached that revenge wasn't the answer. The dry taste of shame stabbed at my tongue and I simply stood there not looking at Sasuke.

It was stupid of me to not look at my opponent, but I had gained some of my prior self at that moment. I also felt that Sasuke sensed that, because he didn't attack me. I slowly brought my eyes back to his, and attempted a bright smile. All that came out was a grimace.

I sighed and stared sadly at him. He was so close, yet so far away. Just like the Pervy Sage…

I lifted my arm towards Sasuke, and just stared desperately at him. I was hurting, I needed comforting. I wanted comfort. And from him, because he knew what this feeling of loss was way more than me.

I previously thought that I understood what loss was, when we were younger. But at that moment, I realized just how wrong I was. He was right, I was all alone since the start, so I couldn't comprehend loss fully. Even when The Third passed, I couldn't fully grasp the loss. Maybe it was because I didn't spend as much time with him as I did with the Pervy Sage. But what I realized then, was that Sasuke was right all those years ago at The Valley of the End, when he said that I didn't understand how he felt, that I didn't know what it was like to lose someone.

Until at that moment.

I finally understood what it felt to lose someone that I loved. And it was so painful. It hurt so much.

I kept his gaze, I felt my lower lip quiver, and my eyes slightly water. My arm was trembling, and I felt this sudden surge of fear. What if he left me all alone too?

I had friends, yes, plenty of them. I even had a family: Kakashi, Sakura, Captain Yamamoto, Sai, the Rookie 9, Team Guy, Konohamaru's team, so so many people now. But out of all of them, only Iruka, The Third, Pervy Sage… and Sasuke felt like more. They were the ones who I felt the strongest bonds with. But I only had Iruka and Sasuke left. I didn't want them to disappear too.

I pursed my lips, and just stared at him, a desperate sense of hope and hurt clogging my lungs. His eyes shifted for a moment, an emotion filling them for an instant, then gone just as fast as it appeared. It happened too quickly for me to interpret, but his next words made me freeze in shock,

"You disappoint me, Naruto."

I widened my eyes at him, and he suddenly appeared before me, a kunai in hand and ready to slice at me. Instinctively, I dodged and jumped back. Pain stuck at my chest and for a moment I thought his kunai had actually gotten me, but I then realized that I was just hurt by his rejection. He didn't care that I was hurting.

My pain tripled for a moment, until it just died and came back with a raging fire. Anger filled my veins and I glared at him. He simply stared back, uncaring.

"I'm tired of seeing your stupid face. I'm done here."

He turned, and I shouted at him,

"Bastard! Don't you dare walk away from me!"

He ignored me and started walking away. And then the fear returned, I panicked; he couldn't leave! He can't be around the Akatsuki anymore! He had to come back home! No… I had to hide him! He's not safe! He'll die!

Panicked, I ran towards him. Tensing, he turned with speed, kunai in hand, but I was already too close. I slapped his kunai away and tackled him, something he wasn't expecting if his shocked face was anything to go by.

I sat on his stomach and held his arms in place with my legs. I gripped at his shirt and stared down at him in a combination of panic and fear.

"You can't leave! You can't! You have to come with me! You'll die if you don't!"

I part of me knew I was being irrational; it was just my grief speaking. But I shoved that part away. I needed him to be safe. Him and Iruka, or I'd lose my mind.

"I understand! Remember? You said that I didn't know what loss felt like! But I do! I do!"

I pursed my lips and stared at his eyes, searching for a reaction. His eyes shifted a lot, too many emotions passing for me to grasp at, until they landed on one I was familiar with seeing in his eyes, and I felt dread knot into my stomach. There was anger in his eyes.

His jaw clenched and he pushed me off. The fire in his eyes didn't leave. I scrambled to get back up – a tough fight was about to start. I knew that anger, and every time it sparked in his eyes and was directed at me, a fight started. Sure enough, just as I stood, a kick was aimed to my head.

I blocked with my arms, but was sent back a few feet. I looked up and there he was, throwing the kunai and aiming it at my arms. Jumping to the side, I kept my senses on alert; he was faster than me. I felt the air to my right swish, and I quickly turned to meet his sword with my own kunai. His eyes were narrowed in anger,

"As if someone like you understands loss! Stop saying that you do understand when you really don't!"

His sharingan was activated.

I pushed against his sword with all my strength. I looked him in the eye,

"Damn it, Sasuke! I do!"

The more I said I did, the angrier he got. He swiveled his sword and knocked my kunai out my hand. He slashed at me and I once again, jumped away. A familiar crackling reached my ears and I widened my eyes in shock, before summoning a clone and creating rasengan.

His chidori met my rasengan and we were sent opposite ways, both crashing into rocks. My bones creaked in protest, but I got up, ready for an attack – Sasuke recovers quickly when he's angry.

Sure enough, he appeared to my right and threw me a kunai with a paper bomb attached to it. We both jumped away as it set off. We clashed immediately after, he blew a fire ball at me and I used a clone to throw me out of its range. He appeared again in front of me with speed and punched me, sending me flying. I growled and ran at him, ready to return the favor when his words stopped me again,

"Someone like you, who started off alone, can't possibly know what it feels like to lose someone… You were always alone, and you still are! You never had anyone, you still don't, you never will! You don't have a family! How could you ever know how it feels like to lose a mother, a father… a brother! A clan! Cousins, aunts, uncles! Everything! That damn village you call home took them all away!"

I froze as a dark and cold feeling ate at my chest.

"Don't go around sprouting crap like you understand! You have no one! No one!"

The feeling in me swelled, and I couldn't breathe. It felt as if it was trying to escape.

"I'm not your damn brother or friend! You were always a nuisance! And don't pretend that everyone didn't think of you like that as well, because we both know that everyone thought you were annoying!"

A ringing in my ears nearly made me sway. A knot in my throat suffocated me.

"You don't know how I feel, you never will! I'm tired of this little parade you like to play in! Wake up Naruto! When are you going to realize that you're all alone?!"

Something in me snapped, and I felt a heavy weight in my body, almost as if I were full of lead or sand.

He huffed, his head hanging low – from exhaustion or from the amount of energy it took from his mind to finally let that out, I didn't know – then he looked up and glared at me. Then just as his fire met my eyes, they died immediately after.

Something must've been on my face.

I didn't care.

I turned and left him there, standing.

I didn't return.


So how was it? It's in past tense on purpose. Just so ya know. lol.

Well, let me know in the comments if I should continue it, cause I'm thinking of making it a one-shot.