After their death, when people told the story of James and Lily Potter, they painted a picture of a blissfully happy life together, once Lily accepted that she liked James of course, that ended far, far, far too soon.
But what most of the general population didn't know and all of their friends did was that the story of James and Lily had many twists and turns. There was one point where no one thought that they would ever be together forever.
When James and Lily finally got together, no one expected it to be so hard for them to be happy. At first they were both infinitely happy. For James the reason was obvious, the love of his life had finally realised that he was the love of her life. For Lily, the reason was not quite so obvious, but still important. The only problem for these two was the qualities that meant the clashed a lot when they were younger were still present in them during their relationship. But being in a relationship meant they could hurt each other harder and more effectively. Not that their aim was to reduce the other to a crumbling mess, but their arguments evoked something in them that meant by hurting the other, they were winning.
On October 31st 1977, James Potter and Lily Evans kissed. This marked the inception of their relationship. Between December 14th and April 5th, they had twelve serious arguments. Every one of these arguments ended with either one yelling "I'm done!" at the other. They would break up, be miserable for a day or so, and get back together.
This was their pattern, until April 6th 1978 when James Potter broke the pattern, for what seemed like, for good.
James and Lily were toe to toe, both puffing out their chests and yelling at the other, both extremely angry and of the belief that they were right.
"You know what, I'm done!"
"You know what Potter? Me too!"
They both stood there breathing heavily, glaring at the other. James turned away from Lily and sat on the couch in the Heads' Dorm.
"I mean it Lily, I'm done. I can't do this anymore."
Lily's heart stopped. Surely he didn't mean it. They always said this, and then it never mattered, they got back together anyway. But Lily could tell by the way James was sitting and his voice. He meant it.
"Fine."
Lily walked out of the Heads' Dorm and towards the Common Room, something she had done many times before. But this time was different. When she arrived, she ignored Sirius and walked to her old room. Her friends looked at her when she walked in.
"We broke up" she said by way of an explanation. Her friends gave her sympathetic looks. Alice Prewett lent her a pair of pyjamas, Hestia Jones tucked her into bed and Marlene McKinnon stroked her hair until she fell asleep.
Her friends didn't believe that this was the end for James and Lily; they thought it was just another break up. They were wrong however.
The next day James went home for Easter and Lily stayed at Hogwarts. She wasn't meant to be going with him, so no one suspected anything out of the ordinary. That was until James arrived back at Hogwarts and found a seventh year Ravenclaw Prefect in Lily's old room in the Heads' Dorm.
"Who are you?"
"Frances Vane."
"Why are you here? Where's Li-Evans?"
"She quit, I'm the Head Girl until the end of the year."
James found Lily in the Library, with help of the map. He had thought that after Easter they would talk and everything would be back to normal. He clearly had thought wrong.
As he approached her table, he noticed something wrong. She had huge dark circles under her eyes, her hair had no vibrancy to it, and her elbows were much thinner. In fact all of her was thinner.
Lily heard noises so looked up. James stared directly at her, her eyes weren't bright anymore. They were glistening though, with what looked like tears. James was about to approach her when he found his path blocked by Marlene McKinnon.
She took hold of his elbow and forced him out of the library. "Let's walk."
They walked until they reached the Black Lake, where Marlene stopped suddenly.
"She hasn't been eating." Marlene looked at James, appearing to be on the verge of tears. "She hasn't been eating, she doesn't sleep, doesn't answer questions in lessons. The girl quit being Head Girl."
Marlene wiped away a few stray tears. "You can't go near her. You have to leave her in peace James."
"How can I? I love her; I can't see her upset and do nothing about it!" James protested.
"You have too. It's because of you that she's like this. That and she's blaming herself for not being good enough and not fitting the image you'd made of her in your head."
James swallowed a lump in his throat. "Marlene, please, I need her."
Marlene shook her head. "I'm sorry James; I love Lily too much to watch her crumble further."
James ignored Marlene though. He finally sought her out, enraged at his behaviour and disappointed at the way she was handling it. That resulted in Sirius dragging him away and Lily collapsing the moment he was gone.
After that James Potter left Lily Evans alone. They still loved each other but Lily could never tell James because she believed she wasn't good enough and James thought if he told her, she would never believe him.
"Hestia? C'mon! It's not going to be that bad!" Lily shouted at Hestia through the bathroom door.
They were sharing a tiny flat, all they could afford, in London. Both were Healers-in-training at St. Mungo's, whilst not a career either of them had initially wanted to pursue, they were both happy with their decision.
Hestia finally emerged from the bathroom, her brunette hair curled and some pinned up away from her face.
Lily smiled at her, "are you ready? We should've left fifteen minutes ago. Alice is going to kill us!"
Hestia rolled her eyes at Lily. "It's just her and Frank's engagement party, it's not like it's the actual wedding! Besides, we can apparate. It'll just take us a second."
Lily shook her head as she put on her shoes, "that's not the point!"
Hestia chuckled, "I know, but I love winding you up too much."
They locked the front door to their apartment and apparated to Frank's mother's house. Much to Alice's dismay, she insisted on having the engagement party there if Alice was adamant that the wedding would be at the Prewett's house. Alice spent a week seriously deliberating the decision before she decided that it didn't matter, the wedding was more important.
Arriving at the house, Hestia and Lily immediately sought out Alice. They knew she would be frazzled and they were correct as they found Alice sitting on a chair in the kitchen breathing deeply, her head in between her knees.
"Problem Alice?" Lily smiled at the relief that covered Alice's face when she saw her best friends.
"Where the hell have you been?!" Alice demanded, drawing the girls into a hug. "I needed you here half an hour ago!"
"Hestia had a hair malfunction." Hestia nudged Lily in response.
Alice sighed, "never mind, you're here now. Now, I need to get back out there. Come on."
Alice left the kitchen, followed shortly by Lily and Hestia. They stopped in the main room, while Alice went to greet more guests who had arrived. Hestia grabbed two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and offered one to Lily.
"Hestia! We're on call early tomorrow! Healer Price will kill you if you're late." Hestia shrugged and Lily looked across the room.
She felt her heart stop. It came to a complete stand still. James Potter was here. Lily mentally cursed herself for forgetting that of course the Marauders would be invited. They were friends of Frank and Alice. She looked at James, thankful that he hadn't seen her. He looked good, very good in fact. Lily guessed it was because of his Auror training. She expected to see the other Marauders around him, all four of them smiling. Lily felt like she should go over there and began to move when slender arm appeared around James' middle. He turned around and smiled. Lily's heart stopped again. James used to look at her that way.
Then the woman was revealed. Blonde. Leggy. Tanned. Blue eyes. The complete opposite of Lily.
"Actually Hestia, I will have that drink." Lily snatched the glass from Hestia, downed it in one and almost ran to the kitchen. Hestia followed Lily and when they reached the kitchen, Lily sat down in the chair Alice had previously sat in, in exactly the same position they had found her: breathing deeply and head between her legs.
"Lily, what in the name of Merlin happened then?"
"James." Lily's voice was muffled but Hestia understood. His name was all the explanation she needed.
"Oh Godric! Is he alone?"
Lily shook her head.
"The Marauders?"
Lily nodded.
"Another girl?"
Lily nodded again.
"Have you seen him since...?" Hestia trailed off. She didn't really want to bring up Lily's depression at the end of their seventh year. Hestia had agreed with Marlene and Alice that the Lily they saw then was not a Lily they ever wanted to see again.
Lily shook her head.
Just then, Marlene burst through the kitchen door.
"Lily! Hestia!" She greeted each girl with a hug. "Why are we in the kitchen?"
Lily looked away and at the window. Marlene turned to Hestia, jerking her head at the direction of Lily.
"The Marauders are here, all of them." Marlene's eyes grew in understanding.
"Did you know he was going to be here?"
Lily shook her head again.
"Why didn't Alice tell you?"
"Why didn't Alice tell you what?"
All three girls jumped to find Sirius Black stood in the doorway. He looked like he did in their seventh year, mischievous and handsome. But there was an air of weariness about him, like the war was already taking its toll on him. He looked at all three girls; Marlene and Hestia wore the same look. It was one of concern, and Sirius had seen it enough to know that it was about Lily. He looked at the girl in question. She looked better than in their seventh year; she wasn't so thin, her hair looked cared for and she didn't look like she would collapse at any moment.
"Lily?" Sirius walked towards her and when he went in for a hug, Lily ducked around him and left the kitchen. Sirius turned to the other girls.
Marlene sighed, "I'll find her, you explain to him."
Marlene left and Hestia gestured for Sirius to sit at the table with her.
"You saw the state Lily was in after Easter." Sirius nodded. "She's never gotten over him. She's better, she focuses on work instead of exams now but she's not dating and she's not the normal weight. I know it's been nine months since they ended, but she isn't coping at all well. Combine that with the death of her parents, Lily's a wreck."
"Her parents died?!"
Hestia nodded, "They were killed by death eaters the day after we left Hogwarts."
Sirius sat there staring at her. They were both silent for a while until Sirius cleared his throat. "Was there more?"
"Yeah, Lily likes to pretend she's okay and after her parents' funeral, she put up a wall. She never tells us when she's sad anymore; she doesn't come to us for comfort. She doesn't want to worry us apparently. But tonight that wall came down." Sirius looked confused. "Who's the girl James is with, Sirius?"
"Her name is Hannah. She's really nice apparently; I haven't really spoken to her."
"Is it serious?"
Sirius shook his head, "They've only been seeing each other a couple of weeks."
"Has there been many?"
"You don't want to know, love."
Hestia sighed and stood up. She was about to leave when she turned to Sirius, "I don't want to lose her Sirius. I think, well Marlene and Alice to, we think that if Lily hurts anymore, she won't be able to find the courage to keep fighting."
After Lily had manage to convince Marlene that she was okay, just a bit blind-sided, and Marlene left her alone to go and berate Alice for not telling them about James, Lily found herself at the bar ordering a butterbeer and champagne. It was a delicious mix that Lily and Hestia had discovered after stealing a bottle of champagne from Petunia's wedding and making tipsy combinations.
"Evans?"
Lily froze. She knew his voice anywhere. Her imagination taunted her with it when she was sleeping. Knowing that he wouldn't leave her alone, and even though she was on her own, she looked good. Plus her mother always told her that there was no time like the present. Lily thought it was especially fitting, given the war going on as well.
Lily turned and smiled at him. "Hello."
"How are you? You look great!" James smiled sincerely at Lily, and Lily felt her heart crack slightly.
"I'm good thanks, just tired. Been on call a lot this week. How about you?"
James was about to reply when the girl he was with earlier appeared at his side again.
"James, I was wondering where you were!" She pouted at James, who had the decency (Lily thought) to look slightly uncomfortable. Lily could feel a panic attack coming on, so nodded at James and walked off before he could say anything. She found herself on a bench in the front garden, staring at the stars wishing she'd brought her coat outside with her, it was December after all.
"Lily?" She turned to see Remus walking towards her with her coat. He handed it to her and she took it gratefully, grinning at him.
"You're the clever person that came outside with his coat already on!" Lily nudged him playfully and he just grinned back at her.
"How's St. Mungo's?"
"Not bad, busy but I don't mind, I'd rather be busy. What are you doing these days?"
Remus shrugged. "Just some stuff for Dumbledore. No one really wants to hire me."
They sat in companionable silence until Lily spoke again. "I'm sorry I haven't tried harder to keep in contact with you. I just wasn't..."
"Strong enough?"
Lily nodded. "Do you think you're strong enough now?"
Lily pondered this for a while before replying. "I'm stronger than I was."
"Do you think you'll ever be strong enough?"
"I hope so."
The next time Lily and James saw each other was an Order of the Phoenix meeting two weeks later. This time Lily was prepared to see him. She knew that Dumbledore had recruited all of the Marauders from Remus who she wrote to on regular basis since talking at the engagement party.
By this point, James had broken up with the blonde from the engagement party and had 'dated' two other girls since then.
To their friends, it looked like neither of them was coping. And they were right. Lily threw herself into Healer training and the Order and Maid of Honour duties for Alice's upcoming wedding. James was doing the opposite; he was hardly trying in his Auror training and was in fact close to be kicked off, he was getting drunk every night and brought random women back to the apartment he shared with Sirius. Remus had made the intelligent observation that James was behaving like Sirius did in his sixth year after he was disowned.
James and Lily were both coping with a loss, nine months after it was initially lost.
The next time Lily and James saw each other was a week later when an Order mission resulted in Sirius being rushed to St. Mungo's in a rather critical condition. James was inconsolable.
Lily had found him sat in the waiting room, as white as a sheet. She had sat with him all night in silence until they heard Sirius was fine. James had rushed off to see Sirius but turned round and saw Lily had vanished.
James had vowed then to get Lily back. He knew he needed her if he was going to make it through the war.
Three and a half weeks later, James and Lily met again at Alice and Frank's wedding.
It was a beautiful wedding; female population of the congregation was in tears. A few days before the wedding took place; there was the first major battle of the War, both sides lost many soldiers. Frank and Alice's wedding was a form of light relief where everyone focused on the happy couple before them.
Alice had decided that she wanted the bouquet toss and the garter toss at her reception (much to the horror of Frank's mother).
Frank removed the garter from a blushing Alice and through it into the clump of bachelors behind him where James Potter caught it. Alice through her bouquet into the squealing girls behind her, where fate would have it, Lily Evans caught the bouquet.
Alice immediately rushed over to Lily and told her that she didn't have to dance with James, but Lily insisted that she would follow the tradition.
Everyone watch apprehensively when James took Lily in his arms and they began to dance. James was privately thrilled, he'd missed Lily hugely and he couldn't help but think that she felt so right in his arms. Lily, on the other hand, was trying hard not to have a panic attack. She looked at a spot in the room just over his shoulder so she wouldn't have to look at him. The way they were dancing reminded her of the Winter Ball in their seventh year.
James bent his head down so he was level to Lily's ear.
"Lily, why didn't you join the Auror programme?"
Lily jumped slightly when she heard his voice. Stuttering slightly, she replied "it didn't feel like the right thing to do then."
The song ended and Lily stepped away from James, but he held onto her hand.
"Can we talk?" Lily nodded and they walked to the bar.
James took at deep breath, "Lily, I'm sorry about your parents."
"Thank you" she whispered softly. Whenever anyone brought up her parents, Lily would be shrouded in guilt about the fact that she couldn't save them because she was on the Hogwarts Express, coming home.
"Lily, I miss you."
Lily stared at James, trying to see if he was mocking her. He looked far too genuine and serious than Lily expected. Then she started having a panic attack. James started getting flustered as Lily's attack carried on.
"Lily, what can I do?"
"Get Hestia." Lily whispered hoarsely.
James immediately sought out Hestia. Tapping her shoulder, he whispered into her ear. She rushed off to the bar, and James saw Marlene and Hestia say goodbye to Alice and then along with Lily, they vanished.
That night, Lily lay in bed, exhausted from her panic attack, wondering when she became so weak around James Potter.
Four days later, Lily was at St. Mungo's, half way through a double shift. Hestia had gone back to Wales to visit her family and Lily didn't want to go back to an empty flat.
At half past one in the morning, James Potter rushed over to Lily.
"Lily, please go to a different part of the hospital."
Lily shook her head. "I'm on call in this part, I'm afraid I can't."
"No, Lily please, you have to go upstairs." James looked desperate.
"What's going on?"
Just as James was about to plead for Lily to get upstairs, Healers and MediWizards rushed through the doors, levitating stretchers behind them. Lily looked into the stretchers. She saw each member of the McKinnon family. Feeling her heart and stomach drop to her feet, Lily looked at the last stretcher and saw Marlene. She was lying peacefully on the stretcher, her blonde hair fanned around her head, her hands clasped at her chest.
Lily heard someone sobbing nearby and was shocked to find it was coming from her. She started to run after the stretcher but strong arms grabbed her waist and she was pulled into James Potter's chest. She was too busy sobbing her heart out to care or notice. She didn't notice James ushering her to the doors, pleading with the Healer in charge Lily to let her leave her shift, and then apparating back to James' flat.
Lily then didn't really think about her actions. She found James' mouth and kissed him. James tried to pull away but Lily held on. He gave up. They were kissing furiously and passionately, pouring everything into the kiss. Given that they hadn't kissed in nearly a year, they were able to fall back into it easily.
James started to unbutton Lily's Healer uniform and she responded by unbuckling his belt. A few minutes later they were both naked on James' bed. They had sex, and it was angry, furious, relentless.
The next morning, Lily woke up, put on her uniform and apparated back to her flat. James woke up to find no trace of Lily.
"Shit!" Lily sat on the toilet, staring at the white stick she had bought from a muggle pharmacy. Hestia rapped on the door, and Lily unlocked it. Hestia poked her head in to find Lily red eyed and holding a white stick that looked like she'd peed on it.
"Lily? What's with the stick?"
Lily sighed. "I'm pregnant Hestia."
Hestia's jaw dropped. "What?! What do you mean you're pregnant?!"
"I mean that currently there is a ball of cells growing inside me that will one day turn into a baby."
"Shut up. Whose is it?"
"James Potter."
Hestia stared at Lily. "James Potter? You're pregnant with James Potter's baby?!"
Lily just nodded.
Their doorbell rang, and Hestia left Lily to answer it, with the promise of continuing the conversation later. Lily walked into the kitchen to find Alice and Hestia exclaiming about something. Alice turned and hugged Lily.
"Lily, I have news. I'm pregnant!" Lily stared at Alice open mouthed. "Lily?"
Hestia poked Lily in the side and she returned from her dazed state.
"Alice that's amazing!"
"Lily, you need to tell him! Now go!" Hestia pushed Lily towards James' front door. With trembling hands, Lily knocked on the door. James opened it and Hestia pushed Lily into his flat.
"Lily needs to talk to you. I'm going to work, bye!"
James closed the door and turned to Lily, who was twisting her hands and shaking slightly. He gestured for them to sit down. Lily sat down, and then stood almost immediately. She began pacing and James watched, slightly amused before standing in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked directly into her eyes.
"What's wrong Lily? You only pace when you have something important to say."
Lily looked down. Taking a deep breath she spoke, "I'm pregnant."
A month later, James Potter and Lily Evans met again at the end of an aisle, and Lily Evans became Lily Potter.
A.N
I hope you liked this one shot type thing. I'm not really sure about the ending
Review please? Any concrit is appreciated.
