I was always a secret Fitz fan. Sadly I think ( BUT IM A BIGGER ECLARE FAN) that if Eli never existed or they would have just stayed friends. I believe Clare could have helped Fitz with his…issues ;) and a like love spark could have come out of that. So, I'm a Flare fan, just not a big one. But I had an inspiration for a Flare story, plus someone on twitter wanted me to write this so I said "What the heck, Why not?"
My Eclare heart is breaking and I need something to get my mind off them for alittle bit.
Anyways, some of you may not like that I'm writing this, I'm sorry. TRULY AM!
I don't own Degrassi, and I do use harsh language in this Fanfic.
She is my Obsession
Clare
I sighed in frustration; I can't get her out my fucking head. I leaned farther into the cushion of the couch, leaning my head back, staring at nothing. Music was blasting, dumb asses grinding against some chicks, beer cans being popped open, and smoke traveling throughout the room. I didn't know why I was even here, with these freaks, but what's sad is I used you to be one of…them.People, well teens in particular not giving a damn. I used to be just like that, not a care in the world; I did everything in the book. I partied almost every night, including school nights, got drunk off my ass, and went to school with a hangover. I was fucked up, I mean yeah I had trouble at home, still do, and guilt every day that built up making me feel horrible about myself. I went home every night, laid back and thought to myself, nobody would miss me if I was gone. I thought about the pills I had bought from a friend at a party, about swallowing them dry, and overdosing. I had so many possibilities to end…me.
You want to know what kept me from doing just that? No it wasn't the thought of my parent, family or friends that kept me from doing it. It was her. The sweet innocent saint of Degrassi, the moment I laid eyes on her I knew I had to have her.
The first time I saw her was on the front steps of Degrassi, walking up the steps with her sister and her little Indian friend. I stood off to the side with my group of friends. When I first saw her, I didn't know at the time if it was the pot I had been smoking that was making me hallucinate, or my eyes were playing tricks on me. She had creamy skin, eyes that shined bright blue, but best of all was the outfits she wore, they were like catholic school uniforms, which I found very attractive. From that moment on I had to know more about her, when she would talk to me of course I had a reputation to maintain, so I was a bit harsh to her, but she was never hurt by rude remarks about her, she rolled her eyes and walked away. That was another thing to me that made her so special, she was pure, and a saint. Let's just say, I believed in god when she came along, I used to call her my sexy saint. I would watch her every day when she came to school, in the hall ways, lunch, and when she left. Admiring her as she talked to her friend at her locker, always talking about school, but I thought it was different. Not like all those other whores who only care about making themselves look good. But Clare, she didn't have to try at all, she was naturally beautiful. But anyways no, I wasn't some kind of stalker, she was just very interesting to me, and every day I would find out something new about her. The guys would always make fun of me of how much I obsessed over her, saying she wasn't worth my time, she wouldn't give me what I wanted, and sometimes they would even make bets with me, asking if I could ask her out and later on break her innocence, to see if I could. Of course I refused; I wouldn't do that to her, I would often catch her admiring the little silver band on her ring finger. As much as I wanted to ripe it off, and take her…I just didn't have the heart to. When her crystal blue eyes, that I secretly loved so much would catch me staring at her, she always smiled so kindly at me, making me feel…good. So when I would go home in the afternoons, thinking about ending my life, her blue eyes and her smile would pop into my head, stopping me. She doesn't know this but she…saved me.
I smirked to myself, lost in my own world with the blue eyed beauty, when I felt a hand land on my shoulder. I lazily lifted me head, my blue eyes locking with another pair of blue eyes….Owen.
"You alright?" I rolled my eyes, knowing he didn't give a damn. So I just nodded, raising a questioning brow at him.
"What do you want?" I asked, getting angry just by his presence.
"I just wanted to know if you wanted a beer?" I frowned; I haven't even touched a beer or anything along those lines since I got out of juvie. But memory's flooded my mind as I stared at the beer bottle, Steve taking his anger out on me, my parents abandoning me, and her. Without even thinking I took it, Owen grew a smirk on his face and left me, I sat there alone, just staring at the bottle in my hands, the sweat dripping from the bottle and onto my hands. Once I started drinking, it became a habit of escaping away from my problems, and in that moment I did think about going to my old ways. Using lust and drugs to cover up my…issues.
I shrugged; one beer wouldn't do any harm…would it? I stand up, looking around the room, and pop open the beer. I slowly bring it to my lips, letting the smooth liquid slowly travel down my throat, soon I chugged it faster, not knowing what has gotten over me. I felt alitte buzz, from how long I went without drinking…I knew I was in a bind once I placed that bottle onto my lips. I knew I would want more, and so I did. I made my way passed the sweaty bodies and into the kitchen where I saw the big white ice chest, but at the moment I wasn't craving what was in that chest. I looked at the counter and found what my taste buds were looking for, my body moved towards it while my mind was fighting against it. I picked up the clear bottle, unscrewed the cap and brought it to my lips, the burning sensation covering up my guilt from even thinking about going to my old ways. But for the first time in a while I felt good, I guess. It made me not have to think, I liked that. At least just for one night, not think at all.
I trudged my way down the sidewalk, not knowing where the fuck I was going. My whole body aching, not even remembering half of what I did. I do remember talking to some chick, all I know is that she took over, and I woke up half naked in an empty bedroom. I just got up looked at the time, which I could hardly make out, but when I left it was around three in the morning, and I don't know how long I've wondering around the streets but I couldn't care less. What I did feel was disgusted, I didn't want to turn to alcohol again.
I looked around the street, I knew the street from somewhere, but I was too drunk to comprehend exactly where I was or why this street looked so familiar. My gazed traveled to the ground, the fuzziness of my vision making me trip over my own feet, making me land on my knees. I sat down on my knees, too lazy to get up. I just stared lazily ahead, my gaze locked with a figure in the distance. I looked more closely; it was girl, standing there under a lamp post staring at me in disbelief. She hand short curly hair, I could tell she hand creamy white skin, and lastly I looked up at a pair of eyes and in that moment I knew who it was.
My stomach lurched; I couldn't believe it, now I knew my mind was playing tricks on me. There was no way, that Clare Edwards, was standing a few feet away from me. I just stared at her in awe, like I've just seen her for the first time. My breath became shallow; her beauty was taking my breath away. This must be a dream, but I don't care, I wanted…her. Her figure slowly started to walk towards me, but my vision started to fade, and her figure started to fade as well, consuming me into the darkness…
My last thought was…She is my obsession.
Authors note:
(yes it was short, I know)Hmmm hope you're not too disappointed though . I think it came out better then what I thought It would, *shrugs* but it's all up to your reviews!
And 1st before you do review, please do not say you hate Flare, I really don't need rude/mean comments.
Again, I'm really not a big Flare fan, and as most of you know (from my other stories) I'm HUGE Eclare shipper, I adore them. Let's just say Eclare is MY OBSESSION, I have I serious issues with them lol I'm alittle to obsessed!
But I didn't see a big deal in writing about Flare, because I know the couple will never happen! Someone on twitter wanted me to write this, and I felt bad, because I told her I would, and I keep my promises!
This Story will not be long…maybe two more chapters, maybe even just one.
(next chapter will be a lot longer, I promise)
Well, follow me on Twitter! ~ And I need REVIEWS(PLEASE), if you would like me to continue this! ~ legitdegrassi
