Raven had never believed she would see her again; or even if she did, that she would be remembered. Beast Boy told them that all her memories had been lost. After everyone else had stopped listening to the story about her; about how she spoke the same, smelled the same, even smiled the same; Raven still listened. Beast Boy had suffered a strange form of heartbreak after his encounter with her and Raven felt obligated to let him voice it. Raven listened to him as if he were talking about another world.
Raven never believed that other world would materialize in the middle of a coffee shop years later.
"Hi."
Raven's head snapped up and her heart dropped into her stomach. Beast Boy hadn't been kidding. It was her.
"Hello." Raven replied, cursing at the tone of surprise in her own voice.
"I'm sorry." Familiar blue eyes blinked in embarrassment. "I just thought…you are alone aren't you?"
Raven stared hard at her, "You know how much I prefer to be alone."
There was a moment of hesitation; Raven could see the pressure to keep up the pretense in her stance, but they both knew it was too late. Her shoulders shagged as she gave up trying.
"Yeah, I do know." She nodded, "Which is why I came over. The others aren't really the coffee-shop-type."
Raven's eyes narrowed. After all this time, after all the things that had transpired between them, now she chose to try and reenter into their lives? She singled Raven out in public to what? Catch-up? A subtle rage rippled beneath her skin and Raven clenched her fingers to keep it in check.
"I'm leaving." Raven snapped her book shut and stood-up, "Have a nice life, Terra."
"My memories came back a month ago." Terra blurted out with wide eyes.
Raven turned back, "What?"
Terra sighed and sat down on the table in front of the chair Raven had vacated, "Last month, my geology lab took a field trip to the tunnels beneath the city; the ones I made. And we found our way down to the one where…where I died."
Terra bit her lip, strong emotions still spilling out at memory of her death. Raven felt a twinge of sympathy replace the frustration she had experienced earlier. Placing her book down on the arm of the chair and crossing her arms, Raven gave her a nod to continue.
"Well, remembering the fact that I died reminded me of everything up to that point. Started crying right in the middle of lab; my professor thought I was having a panic attack from being underground. That's ironic isn't it?" Raven received one of those very familiar and somehow very painful smiles "Me, afraid of being underground."
"So, when Beast Boy found you…" Raven started.
"I wasn't lying to him. I wasn't Terra anymore; I was a girl who landed with some very nice foster parents. No past, no memory, and no powers."
"And now?" Raven raised an eyebrow, "Did your powers come back with your memory?"
"I can't even make sand shake." Terra shook her head.
Slowly, Raven sat back down in her seat. She tried getting a read on Terra. It had been years since Beast Boy spotted her, and it had been two years before that since her death; everything in regards to security in the Tower had changed. Relationships within the Tower itself had changed; Robin and Starfire were together, Cyborg split his time between Jump and Titans East, and Beast Boy… Well Raven didn't want to consider where Beast Boy's attentions had been leaning of late.
Talking to Raven now wouldn't give Terra any advantage to betraying them again. And based on the feeling of apprehension that flooded into their shared space, Terra wasn't looking to reconcile.
"Why did you approach me?" Raven asked finally.
Terra bit her lip again, "I'm afraid that my powers might eventually come back. I think I used them all on taking Slade down, but I can't be sure."
"Again, why approach me?" Raven pressed, "Any of the others would have helped you if your powers resurfaced, especially…"
Terra cut her off. "It would hurt him to know that I remember now."
"He misses you." Raven said, "He would want to know."
"He doesn't know me anymore. I'm a super-senior at UJC; I eat dinner every Tuesday night with my foster parents, I even go to church if a friend drags me there. I'm not his Terra anymore." Terra ran a hand through her hair and sighed to reassure herself of her stance, "I have a whole new life that doesn't include him anymore. And I love it, but it would hurt him to not be a part of it."
"You could make him a part of it." Raven pointed out, though she didn't understand why she did. Perhaps she was hoping she could dump this drama into Beast Boy's lap instead. He seemed a far more appropriate option.
Terra let out a dry laugh, "I've already been struggling for the last month with figuring out what's different between the old me and the current me. I don't need him trying to tell me who I am like the last time he saw me. I just needed to tell someone."
"Someone who knows the old you." Raven clarified.
"And someone who will keep my memory a secret from Beast Boy and respects the fact I have my own life." Terra added.
A weird combination of shame and relief threaded through the air around them. Both emanating from Terra. Raven realized that she had truly thought this through. She could have found Robin, but he would keep tabs on her, she could tell Starfire and then find herself forced back into a relationship with the alien, Cyborg wouldn't be able to keep the truth from Beast Boy, so that left Raven. It was for the best, Raven decided. She could keep this secret, for all of their sakes.
"I won't tell him or anyone else." Raven said finally, "And if your powers do come back I can help you with controlling them again."
"Really?" Terra breathed in disbelief, a smiled spreading across her face.
"Better than you going off and finding some other psychopath to teach you." Raven replied cooly.
Terra laughed voicelessly, "Yeah that would be better. Thank you."
There was a warm smile and then Terra left, knowing she should socialize. Afterall, if her powers never resurfaced, they could both pretend this encounter never happened. Her blonde hair swayed as she maneuvered her way out of the coffee shop. Raven watched through a window until Terra disappeared down the street. After a few minutes of absently staring at the street, Raven returned to her book, mindlessly scanning the words as she considered the task she had taken on.
A few days later the Titans were picking through their fan mail, Raven scanning the fading auras of hers in order to avoid the more creepy letters she was prone to getting. She mostly opened the ones written in crayon or the ones made with gothic stationary; those were the ones that were the most rewarding to read. One fan letter stuck out in particular; clean, white, and with the UJC logo printed on the back. Raven chose to wait until she was alone to open it.
Raven,
I'm going to be at the Mud House again on Thursday (the 13th). In case you're also going to be there.
-T
P.S. Oh, and there's no power problems or anything. Probably should have mentioned that first. Sorry!
