DISCLAIMER: You know I don't! I also don't own "Frozen"!
Ok so I'm guilty. I know I'm meant to be doing "IMTG" (I'm Not That Girl) but I'm having a mental block at the moment and this one came to me and I just well had to get it down. This one is rated T for issues and themes. Um… It's a songfic/One-Shot and just came to my head. Wow longest one/shot EVER!!! lol I've also noticed that with this story and my others they all have loads of hits but not as many reviews! Please reiew! The song is "Frozen" by Within Temptation. Look the film clip up on YouTube! It's very good. I've also mixed the lyrics to the song up a bit to fit the story. If you like-y it then please tell me via review or PM or message! Cheers! PLEASE REVIEW!!! Um so anyway this is:
Frozen…
I opened my eyes just in time to see his fist about to come in contact with my jaw. I didn't bother to dodge it. There was no point. His fist connected with my skin, crunching into bone. Then my stomach, my chest, the side of my head. All victims of his fists. I seemed to be frozen.
…You Say That I'm Frozen…
…But What Can I do?...
I was exhausted, my energy, stamina everything was just dead, just as I would be soon.
He wasn't always like this. He used to be tender and gentle, not rough and brutal. He swept me off my feet and held me above the world for just a moment and then everything came crashing down. No longer did his fingers caress but strangled, his arms no longer protected me but opened me so far that I tore straight down the middle. I had thought it was love but no, love was what I felt for someone else, and I wished with every fragment of my shattered heart that he were here to save me from myself and to save me from mistaking lust for love.
Again, his fists hit me, hit me, hit me, and hit me. Repeatedly, until there was nothing left inside. The colour had long ago drained from my surroundings, just as my blood drained from me. He broke my defences; just like he broke my ribs. He sliced my attacks like he sliced my skin.
Inside I screamed in agony, trembling and vowing I would run. But no, I stood there and just took blow after blow, knowing sooner or later he would tire and leave me there, a bloodied, and broken mess sprawled lifelessly on the floor. I looked at him, hoping, and praying to see him staggering towards the door to his bedroom.
I said "his" because it was. I didn't belong here. I should have stayed at the brownstone, surrounded and protected by my friends. I was just a weakling and they were the heroes, the titans, and the people who were going to save the earth from a crazed, psychopathic god of time. Not me. I needed them and right now I needed the one who meant the most to me. Jay…
Not this man whose smile; a grotesque array of sinister teeth, mocked me.
The back of his hand came down hard and hit my cheek. I stared straight past him through a haze of uncomprehending. I felt cold despite the fresh, warm blood that soaked through my shirt, trickling like rain beads down my forehead, down my wrists, down my legs. He kicked me down hard to the cold, wooden floor, bouncing my head off the wall and then promptly left me alone, once more, in darkness…
...I Can't Feel My Senses…
…I Just Feel The Cold…
…All Colours seem to fade away…
…I Can't Reach My Soul…
Moonlight poured through the old, wooden window; an ethereal pool on the floor. I dipped my fingers in it and twirled them unconsciously. I don't know how but in doing so I found strength. I pulled myself up of the floor, wincing as I did so. First things first, to get out. I almost felt giddy. Why had I never thought before that I could escape this night-terror and just go back to the brownstone and stay there? Despite myself, I smiled in the darkness.
I decided to leave him a note telling him that I never wanted to see him again, never have contact and I didn't want him to try and track me down. I left it on the hall table. Next I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up as best I could in the dark and as much as my injuries could possibly let me. Then all I had to do was walk down that corridor, which seemed to have magnified and lengthened beyond proportion, out the front door without a backward glance. And that is what I did.
As soon as my feet touched the ground outside the door, I was off. I ran so far and fast that I don't think even the gods could catch me. I ran and ran and ran. I reached the park and kept going. My breathing was ragged and my chest was stabbing me. My lungs burned and my throat screamed. Still I didn't stop nor did I dare look back.
…I Would Stop Running…
…If I Knew There Was A Chance…
…It Tears Me Apart…
…To Sacrifice It All…
…But I'm Forced To Let Go…
My head was spinning by the time I made it to my sanctuary, my safe place in the troubling world that had become my life…
The Brownstone.
Everything was dark, no light shone in the darkness. I reached for the front door and suddenly I was terrified. Terrified that one or all of the team would see me like this, terrified of him and what I had just escaped from would be there right behind me, waiting for me to turn around. Most of all I was terrified of being left alone in the dark of the night…
I felt like screaming. That's how scared I was. I opened the door as silently as possible and was met with equally muted silence. Everything was so eerie and loomed ahead of me and in a tumultuous wave of panic I ran again. I ran straight to Jay's door and was about to throw it open when I stopped.
What was I thinking? Bursting into his room at this time of night – correction, this time in the morning – and looking as I was? What would I have said? "Hi Jay! I have just been bashed up by the boyfriend I thought I loved for the last time! The truth is I love you!" and he would reply with "Wow that's great Theresa, but I just don't love you so I guess it's all one sided and a big misunderstanding anyway I have more important things, like Cronus, to continue with so you run along now thanks" And I like an obedient dog would walk out of that room with my head high and not let him know just how broken I really was. Great plan Theresa, good job! I mentally berated myself.
So instead I backed away and walked up to my room and collapsed on the bed in silent tears…
I woke early. Like, really early. Like earlier then Jay and he's up before Athena. It must have been at least 3 hours 'till dawn. Dragging myself out of bed I was thankful that I was first up but furious at having only 2 hours sleep. I headed towards the bathroom. Once in the bathroom light and looking in the mirror above the vanity, boy did I ever get a surprise. I mustn't have cleaned my face last night very well and thank god I didn't go into Jay's room like this because my face would have him in the corner and backing away from me and calling out, "Help, Medusa is back!!!" That's how shocking and weary I looked.
My lip was split in two places, my nose was covered in dried blood, and my eyes were a grey, empty green with a splash of red just for fun, surrounded by what looked like a black hole, my neck had red fingers wrapped around in a deathly embrace, and I had a deep gash running from my forehead to my cheek. And that wasn't even counting the ones on the rest of my body.
As I said, shocking. At least now, though, I was definitely awake.
I stripped off my bloodied clothes, wincing as they stuck to my wounds. I threw them in a pile on the floor and turned for the shower. I stepped into it and turned on the water. At first it was freezing against my bare skin raising gooseflesh though after a moment, the water became warm and inviting. So I lay down on the damp tiles trying to breathe.
At some stage I heard the distinct sounds of life so I turned off the shower, dried off, and pulled on my dressing gown hoping to sneak back to my room.
Unfortunately, due to the length of my dressing gown and my clumsiness, I tripped, drawing the attention of whoever was in the hallway to my side.
And who, of course, is this stranger? None other than my night – in – shinning – armour, Jay. Any other morning I would have sighed at the thought of having his strong arms around me but today I felt like being sick. Just thinking of how I was going to hide my injuries well I didn't have to be psychic to know this was going to end badly.
"Hey, are you ok?" He whispered, concern evident in his velvet voice.
"Um yeah, I'm totally fine." I muttered through my hair trying desperately not to let him see me. At this stage I faced the carpet and his arm was around my waist as he gently lifted me to my feet. With my feet on the ground I whispered a "Thanks," and tried to disentangle myself from his arm but I had to fight myself to make me let him go. I wanted his arm to stay there. It took a lot of strength to take his arm from around my waist and move to my door and even then he wouldn't stop.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me to face him though I turned my head away so he couldn't see the damage. "Theresa what is the matter with you? Has something happened?"
Trust him to jump to the worst of conclusions. Even if they were true.
"No Jay! Of course not everything is just perfectly fine!"
Jay sighed, he knew me all too well. Before he could piece things together I pulled my hand from his and started to walk, as calmly as possible, to my door calling softly over my shoulder, "I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast I just have to get changed." With that I slipped in my room closing my door behind me and realised just at that moment that Jay was heading for the shower and I had left my bloodied clothes in there!
Cursing myself for being so stupid I quickly dressed wincing as the material brushed over my bruises and wounds and put on foundation and eye make-up – too much but I just couldn't let the team see me like this, couldn't take any chances. Even with the make-up I would have to be careful not to stand too close to anyone or let anyone get a good look at me. I paced my room and tried to breathe evenly as I thought of a solution.
In the end it was simple. All I had to do was as soon as he was done quickly grab my clothes. But what if he had already seen them? What if he was contemplating the different things I could have done to get that much blood on me? A million unpleasant theories spun around my head in a whirlwind when suddenly the shower stopped. I held my breath. Several excruciating moments past then I heard the door open. Finally! I quickly opened my door just to see Jay, with a towel around him, (OMG! Concentrate Theresa!) And Atlanta talking seriously in the corridor by the bathroom. Damn! Now I couldn't get past without arousing suspicion! Jay and Atlanta finished their conversation and just to prove that I didn't have any of Neil's luck, Atlanta went into the bathroom.
"Damn!" I hissed between my teeth, just a little too loud. Jay turned and looked at me, I tilted my head so it was in shadow but I watched from the corner of my eye. His face resembled mine in a way; a mask of cool, calm control. He gave a small smile and said "Are you going downstairs now?" He didn't wait for me to answer for he next said, "I'm going to change and wake the others, but we'll all be done in a minute. There's something I need to discuss with you all. But I promise I won't be too long so I'll meet you all downstairs, ok?"
"Ok." That was all I was capable of saying, nothing else would arise from my sore lips. If he had found my clothes, why would he wish to talk to everyone else as well and not just me? Maybe they were under the vanity or something. Maybe Jay hadn't seen them and all I had to do was quickly grab them when Atlanta was out of the shower! Yes this could work.
I raced downstairs, suddenly ravenous, nearly taking out a sleepy Herry on my way. Gosh Jay was quick to get Herry up and just beyond him was… Oh. My. God. NEIL! Wow. Or maybe I had just been standing there a long time with my thoughts. As I contemplated this, it led me back to the fact that I was starving and so I quickly walked past the two sleepy heads into the kitchen and got myself some cereal and juice.
I walked in and, fighting the urge not to walk right back out again, went towards the fridge all the while feeling my friends eyes bore into me, burning me.
"Theresa…" Jay and Atlanta spoke simultaneously.
Wow I had been pondering for a while. Atlanta was out of the shower and everyone was downstairs. Jay was quick. That's when my brain caught up with me and the worst possible thoughts entered my heavy head.
Damn! Had they found my clothes? Had they told my dad? Had they told the gods?
Juice and milk in hand, I turned and gave them my most convincing smile. Six pairs of eyes stared back at me.
I had to speak. Get this over and done with or hopefully by pass it completely. "Yes?"
Jay began again with a nod from Atlanta, "Theresa, we know---" and at that moment Neil's PMR rang. Thank the gods for Neil! I never ever thought that I'd ever say that, but thank the gods!
Apparently his spa appointment had been cancelled until further notice. And I always thought Neil was lucky? A moment later Jay's PMR rang. Hermes was on the other line, frantically trying to get a sentence out. Everyone stopped staring at me (PHEW!) and turned to Jay to listen to what Hermes was blabbering about.
"Whoa Hermes! Slow down! Start again and this time say each word clearly." Jay emphasised the "clearly" to make his point.
"Seven men working for Cronus have been spotted at the park on the western side near the forest. They are armed, dangerous and looking for the chosen ones – you."
"Thank you Hermes, we're on our way."
"Ah Jay? There's something else you should know." Hermes quickly added his face the epitome of anxiety.
"And that would be…" Archie prompted, always the impatient one.
"Well they all match each of you. In skill and fitness. They are Cronus' weapons. All are vicious and are ready to kill if necessary."
"Thank you Hermes much appreciated. We're on our way."
With that said Herry grabbed his keys and raced out the front door followed by Atlanta, Archie, Odie, and Neil leaving both Jay and I behind. Awkward.
Jay looked at me with cold, blank eyes.
"Well", he said, "are you going to keep moving or were you planning to stay here and clean up?"
I was shocked. So shocked that my mouth wouldn't even open. He knew. He knew. As simple as that. And it hurt.
"I'm going, I'm going." I spoke through unmoving, suddenly furious, and miserable at the same time.
I grabbed my nun-chucks and headed for Herry's truck, head down. I got in but not in my usual seat. Instead of being next to Jay and Herry, I sat on the window side next to Odie. Looking out that window was probably the best thing for me. Seeing the darkness of dawn. It was still too dark to see much but my eyes seemed to pick out the unimportant details o the landscape. I ignored everyone and the accusing silences and vibes coming at me head on like a train ramming into my mind. Well I tried to ignore it at least that is until we got to the park and headed for our destination, just west of the woods. What we walked into however, was not a park wood with simple opponents but a dangerously alive forest swarming with deadly, silent enemies…
They called themselves Cronus' 'Dead & Destroying Assassins' or 'The DDA'. Almost comical except for the fact of their skill. And yes they were dead and boy did they destroy! Hence the name I guess. They stood before us in a line. Seven of them. Arranged similarly to us. Except their leader was in the middle where as I was in the middle of our line. In order we were, Odie, Archie, Atlanta, Me, Jay, Herry, and Neil.
At the sight of their leader though, I felt the blood drain from my cheeks. It was him. The one I had thought I was in love with. The one who hurt me deeper then any other, left more bruises then falling down the stairs and more scars then a car accident. He worked for Cronus. Typical. Well that certainly got me fired up. I made the first move, lunging straight at his throat. The others must have taken my action as a signal for they fought also. I was in a whirl wind of rage, a dream of fury. We were almost dancing. He would strike then I would dodge then I would strike and he would dodge. I would occasionally get in a shot and he hit me a great deal but it was fairly even with his skill and my rage.
It continued in an array of impossible movements that seemed graceful when carried out so fast. It was relentless. Backwards and forwards. Hit, be hit. His punches seemed to have magnified compared to when we last met. Probably Cronus' doing. He didn't seem to have recognised me in the dim light which I found odd but then he smiled at me, pulled me towards his chest off the ground by my throat, and kissed me. I felt sick and of course breathless as he was cutting off my air way. I would have puked except that he was choking me. So instead I balled my fists and wacked the side of his head. He yelped and dropped me though recovered quickly and we were dancing again.
We fought… and fought and fought until there was nothing left inside us that would compel us to even move let alone fight. We were on our last reserves of energy and they were just playing with us now. Jay was standing above me as I recovered from an attack from the leader, Atlanta and Archie were fighting back to back taking on their opponents in fiery combat still arguing that their opponents were harder than each other's, Herry was having an arm wrestle that was on the scale of gigantic, and Odie and Neil were using brains and luck to survive. It was now a game of kill or be killed…
At that moment, Jay looked so furious I thought he might burst. He looked at me, almost helplessly and then went to make one final attack to their leader when BAM!Jay's weapon was out of his hand and the leader of the DDA's blade was cutting through the air and time in a direct line for Jay's heart.
…Tell me I'm frozen…
…But what can I do?...
…Can't tell the reasons…
…I did it for you…
…When lies turn into truth …
…I sacrificed for you…
…You say that I am frozen…
Everything seemed to stop. The rest of the DDA soldiers drifted towards their leader, smug but the rest of us just stopped. Slow motion seemed to weave intricately around us. Herry looked as though Cronus had taken both his truck and his Granny, Atlanta looked like someone had just beaten her in a foot race, Archie looked like he was drowning, Neil looked as though he had broken a nail and cracked his mirror, and Odie looked as though someone had just beaten him in a maths test.
Each gobsmacked. Me, thinking so fast my eyes hurt.
An Idea came to me in an instant, and a split second later I had decided to do it. There was no choice for me. I loved Jay and if I had to sacrifice for him I would do it. No questions asked. If I could do one thing it would be to tell him I loved him. I wouldn't waste time like I have for the past 2 years. I would be straight forward and I he didn't feel the same way well, that still wouldn't change how I felt. I was angry with myself that he would never know but I knew what I had to do.
I looked up to see Atlanta watching me. She saw the crystalline tear fall gracefully from my cheek. She shook her head, distress clearly written on her perfectly angular features. The others, bar Jay, turned to look at me, perplexed. I mouthed to Atlanta and everyone else, "I'm Sorry…Forgive me" and then I jumped.
…I Can Feel Your Sorrow…
…You Won't Forgive Me…
…But I Know You'll Be Alright…
…It Tears Me Apart…
…That You Will Never Know…
…But I Have To Let Go…
It seemed I had timed it just right for the others couldn't yet move out of their frozen overwhelmed stupor. Everything happened so fast. It had been only mere seconds and I had saved Jay's life. He had no idea how to react and couldn't think fast enough to stop me. I smiled. What a disturbing thing to do in my position. I had just enough time to see the blade, in a deadly dance, spinning ruthlessly, merciless…
Blade, hilt, blade…
I was just frozen. I could have probably deflected it with my mind but there just wasn't enough time.
Fast reflexes didn't matter when it came to fear. Although your mind was fast enough to keep up and scream at you to do something, your body just wasn't compatible. It was like drowning. Downing in nothingness. Archie must hate this, funny that my last thought was to be of him – an idle thought in a traumatic situation just before the blade struck.
…Tell me I'm frozen…
…But what can I do?...
…Can't tell the reasons…
…I did it for you…
…When lies turn into truth …
…I sacrificed for you…
…You say that I am frozen…
…But what can I do?...
And then pain. Searing pain. Freezing, bitterly icy pain. Slightly disorientated. Then numbness. No feeling with my senses. I thought I could hear screaming, laughing and voices- one I recognised in particular. But they all faded away leaving me to be consumed by the mouth of pure darkness…
…I Can't Feel My Senses…
…I Just Feel The Cold…
I woke to see five agonized faces above me. My green eyes slowly re- focused to the room around me. A small part of me realised I was in Chiron's study a split second before the pain came crashing down upon me. My memories were scattered pictures arranged in blank situations. It was hard for me to contemplate. I sat up.
Atlanta looked awful. She had been crying (obviously), her eyes still watering and her nose a soft pink. She stepped towards me and pulled me, her best friend, into a hug and gently kissed my forehead, "I bought a skirt because of you!" I looked down and noticed what she was wearing. A plain, black skirt that fell just above her knees and a black, (button up!) blouse. Black clothes. Reminded me of my mother's funeral. Funny how, at the time, you just don't notice what the meaning behind this hidden message could mean, you're just glad to be seeing your friend's faces again. I know that's what it was like for me.
I turned my head slightly as Atlanta stepped away to make room for Neil. Neil looked well, like Neil, except he wore black also, not his usual white and black shirt, but all black. So unlike Neil. He didn't want everyone to know that he was actually quite concerned which suited me just fine. He mouthed "You know me". Then gave me a quick hug, masking it by looking in his mirror behind my back. I smiled as he pulled away.
Odie hugged me awkwardly, "I'm glad you're ok!" I smiled and ruffled his afro affectionately. He gave a small smile in return. Why would he have been awkward? Funny that nothing of this came to my attention then.
Herry looked like he'd been hit by a bus and jumped in front of another one. He pulled me into a tight bear hug (make that crushing bear hug) and whispered in my ear, "Lil sis, if you EVER do that to me again I swear I myself will fetch you from the Elysian Fields with or without Ms. Persephone's assistance!" I grinned at him and patted his cheek. He chuckled and stepped back. Funny about that comment too. It must have been a warning not to get too attached.
Archie stepped forwards. Archie looked like he had – oh my god ARCHIE HAD BEEN CRYING! That in itself should have been a wake up call. But stooopid me, I didn't notice.
And the one person I wanted to see, well he wasn't there, which was understandable. I guess. Still made me sad though.
Death, you know, it's a funny thing. Its like your in your own personal, muted bubble and nothing can touch you. Literally. See you think you're "awake", and you can "feel", everything but it's all just a dream. You see your friends faces and think, "Gee perhaps I made it after all!" But then the scene gets all muddled up before you and your mind waits for you to open your eyes to your death.
…Everything will slip away…
…Shattered pieces will remain…
…When memories fade into emptiness…
…Only time will tell its tale…
…If it all has been in vain…
Every now and again the odd conversation floats through but in the end everything sort of blends with everything and anything until you're just left with darkness and a strange beeping noise which you sub-conscious memories tell you is a heart rate.
That's when it hit me. Oh. My. God. I was dead! These faces in front of me weren't real! They were conjured up by my memories, my thoughts, and my wishful thinking! Fate was probably standing right next to me waiting impatiently for me to open my eyes and see her cruel and violet face. But that didn't matter. I was… dead. Lifeless. Deceased. Departed. Frozen. Silent. Cold in the ground. Ceasing to exist. I was no more. Finished. Empty. I was…
Gone.
Just like that. But I had saved Jay hadn't I? Surely if he and the rest of the team had died too I wouldn't feel so alone? They would be here with me and we'd enter the Elysian Fields together? But If I'm dead then how come I can hear my heart monitor? How did that work? Maybe it was one of the other's heart monitor! But that would mean one of the other's was injured! Which meant it would be my entire fault! I tried to open my eyes but I just couldn't.
…Frozen…
…But what can I do?...
…Frozen…
I was strong enough. I was a fighter. And even if I had taken a dagger to the heart, it wouldn't be the first one. Even if this dagger was made out of cold metal, I'd suffered worse. My eyes were squeezed shut, glued, and refusing to open. I knew I had to though, this was my chance if I was dead, I would fight and resist as much as possible. Again I tried to open my eyes and this time…SUCCESS! I did it! My sight was out of focus and hazy but at least I could sort of see. And what did I see?
An empty Chiron's study, that's what. I sat up. A little too fast and fell of the bed I was on, the blankets and pillows soon following me and landing and my head. Pain shot through me like Archie's Hephaestus whip laced with rage. I held in the scream that was clawing its way up my throat. I picked myself off the floor and stood on very shaky legs. I was wearing a light, linen shift which was, I had to say, quite see-through. Embarrassing. My pale legs coming from the bottom of it were so white they were practically translucent. Creepy.
Gently, I lifted my shaking foot off the floor and placed it forward. One small step for man, one giant leap for Theresa! Woo Hoo! Slowly and carefully I lifted my other foot off the ground and placed it a bit further forward then my other. Repeating this I finally made it to the doorway.
I reached for the door knob but just centimetres from it I stoped myself. My skin prickling with my thoughts. What if this was not Chiron's study but actually an illusion? What if, on the other side of this door was not the hall leading to the different wings of the god's sanctuary, but the gates of The Underworld? What if… So many "what ifs", they made my head spin just that little bit more, pushing me over the edge into a pool of nausea. I leaned lightly against the heavy wooden door, holding my face in my hands, eyes closed, and slowing my breathing. In, 2, 3 and out, 2, 3, in, 2, 3, and out, 2, 3. I slid down the door, cold sweat trickling down my face like tears. Maybe it was tears; I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.
Opening my eyes again and taking my hands from my face, I looked down at them. They shook with such violence, that they just wouldn't stop. All I could hear was my breathing. It sounded empty, just like the room I was in.
It was time to bite the bullet. I had to turn the handle now and then all I had to do was to pull it and I would have all my answers, but for some reason I had lost every single ounce of my strength, nothing left.
A picture of Jay flashed into my mind. Yes there was something left; something deep inside of me was burning, burning with curiosity, with a fight.
For Jay. That's what this was about. For the team, for Jay, Atlanta, Herry, Archie, Odie and Neil. My best friends and my family. Each holding a special place, each leaving a personal handprint on me. A fire burned inside of me just thinking of them, they who had fit perfectly into the deep black hole where my heart had been. One and all had fixed me even if I hadn't recognised it. They were always there for me, always. I felt ashamed that I hadn't gone to them when my pain was as dark as Cronus' hatred for us. This was my chance to make it up to them, stand up and fight, become something I truly am and not what someone else truly wanted. Courage surged within me igniting the flame of hope, I wouldn't give in. If, on the other side of this door, death awaited me then so be it but it would not take me, not without a fight. No way.
Gingerly, I pulled myself up, turned the handle, and opened the door. Before my eyes, my fate awaited me…
…Tell me I'm frozen…
…But what can I do?...
…Can't tell the reasons…
…I did it for you…
…When lies turn into truth …
…I sacrificed for you…
…You say that I am frozen…
I'm trying my very hardest with IMTG but I was desperate to post something and this WANTED to be posted! SO SOMEOE PLEASE READ IT!!! lol And please review! Writers and readers alike please review. Just re-iterating what I said above, I also noticed that with this story and my others hae loads of hits but not as many reviews! Trust me, that hurts. Seriously, writers you know its exciting to receive reviews and readers your little reviews just make my day so please… I beg, review.
Bella xxx
