Lily Whitlock stood at the magazine rack of the grocery store, reading the headlines of tabloid weeklies and the depressing state of affairs on the more serious news magazines. It was all the same: scandal and heartbreak, far too serious for her thirteen year old heart. Lily was a small thin girl with her father's blue eyes and mother's jet black hair. She had her mother's pixie build but was shy, centered more like her father, except today she was annoyed with her life.

Where was the fashion magazines aunt Rose wanted? She moved away from the racks and wandered over toward the produce section in hopes of finding her mom, Alice. Thanksgiving in Forks was not her idea of a fun holiday. Her friends sent her text messages of all the fun, all the drama going on at home. Thinking wistfully of the parties they were going to go to back in Seattle, Lily silently huffed in frustration of this imposed "family time" with her extended family. Thanksgiving in Forks. Teenage translation: BORING.

Although Lily loved her grandparents, Carlisle and Esme, the annual thanksgiving visit was so anticlimactic for her. For her parents, Jasper and Alice, this was the best time of the year. It was a real family reunion. Her mom was always so excited, childlike in her enthusiasm. She seemed more energetic and happy as the holiday got closer. Her dad still thought his wife so sweet and thoughtful as she planned every detail for their celebration. Lily thought her mom made Martha Stewart look lazy in comparison. Even when her mom's plans were so outlandish, her dad still looked at her mom with complete adoration it made her want to cringe. Gross. Thinking of her parents still so in love and so affectionate now made her physically sick. Don't they know only teenagers are supposed to act like teenagers?

Her Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmet were no better. She once walked in on them making out in the pantry when she went looking for some extra napkins. Yuck. That was horrible. She felt sorry for their sons, Kyle and Liam. At least her uncle Emmett was good for a laugh. He was the "fun" uncle, always ready with funny stories or cool games. He would round up her and her cousins and take them to the movies or some cool comic store in Port Angeles. Her other uncle and aunt were another story. Uncle Edward and Aunt Tanya were the "stick in the mud" relatives. They didn't have any kids and she wondered if they would've been happier if they did. Too late now because for the past few years they barely seemed to smile or enjoy themselves during the family holiday. Lily doubted they even slept in the same house the way they seemed to freeze over when they got close. It was like watching someone with a terrible toothache going to the dentist for the first time: painful. Lily remembered one year that Uncle Edward came alone for the holidays because Aunt Tanya had an 'emergency at work' and had to stay in San Francisco. That was the first year she really saw her uncle happy and smiling. It was also the first time she actually thought he might be a nice guy, and he certainly had a killer smile. It was sort of like a sexy, crooked smirk. Eww. Lily shivered in disgust. She definitely shouldn't be thinking 'sexy' and uncle in the same thought. Gross. But thinking of her uncle's smile was what got her attention.

Standing next to a big display of citrus was Sherriff Swan and a tall teenage boy she'd never seen before. The dark haired boy had just turned away from her when she cleared the edge of the potato section, smiling that familiar sexy smirk at the sheriff and putting back some of the fruit. Lily watched them quietly, not really sure why she was interested in the boy except to say he was nice to look at, and that was better entertainment than tabloid magazines right now. She couldn't hear what they were saying but Charlie Swan seemed to blush and laugh to himself as the boy said something obviously funny to him.

Lily took a closer look at the boy. He was about six feet tall, lean, and had long dark hair that hung down his back in a ponytail. He wore jeans and a maroon longs sleeve shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. Although the weather was cold outside, he didn't seem to have a jacket which was weird to Lily. Who doesn't wear a parka in November in Washington? What a beautiful boy, but obviously an idiot. Too bad. She didn't get another good look at his face, but his clothes gave him a carefree look, casual and relaxed. He didn't seem to pay attention to the latest clothing trends, but looked good in the classic jeans and a t-shirt. Obviously, he was not a local, too tan for Forks. The two strolled away from her, which Lily found momentarily frustrating. She really wanted to know who this boy was.

Lilly suddenly felt a tickling tug on her waist. She jumped but was able to stifle a shriek. Her mom had snuck up behind her peeking over the potato display. Alice giggled at her daughter's reaction, truly happy to be able to still catch her by surprise. Lily had recently moved into teenage land where parental units seem so inferior and unreasonable. It wasn't often that Lily was that silly, funny, goofy girl that melted the hearts of the older Cullens. Now she was Lily, the eternally bored. It was hard to let go of the only baby girl in the Cullen family, harder to watch her harden into a polite stranger. Alice sighed and smiled longingly for that sweet baby girl she once cradled in her arms.

"What's got you so interested in the produce, Lily?" Alice asked.

"Mom… do you know that boy with Sherriff Swan? I don't recognize him, and I think I know most of the kids around here thanks to all those never-ending play dates you set up when I was a kid." Lily pointed at the two men.

"Lily Bell, you are still a kid."

"Mom," Lily whined. "Never mind."

Alice stood still for a moment and watched Charlie Swan with the boy quietly chuckling, taking in the manner in which the boy talked to Charlie, his body language relaxed. Strange how Alice had never seen this kid around or heard of any extended family of the Swans. It was only Bella and Charlie for as long as Alice could remember. Maybe he was a family friend. Charlie was very close with the Quileutes, and this boy could pass for a tribal member. Maybe he was one of the Blacks' relatives. There was only one way to find out.

Oh my god, Lily thought. Here goes my mom, getting right to the bottom of a mystery. Lily watched her mom push her cart full of Thanksgiving fixings over to say hi to Sheriff Swan. To avoid what would probably be an embarrassing encounter, Lily followed her mom hoping she wouldn't reveal how she was spying on them from a pile of potatoes. Can you die from embarrassment? Lily hoped she wouldn't find out today.



As they got closer, Alice spoke.

"Charlie Swan? Is that you? My goodness, you get more handsome every time I see you!"

"Alice Cullen? What a surprise! How are you, my dear? It's been years since I laid eyes on you!" Charlie responded, truly shocked to see Alice. Alice bounced into his arms for a hug. Lily rolled her eyes at her mom. The boy grinned.

"I'm great! It's Alice Whitlock now, and geez, how long has it been?"

"You are too kind, Alice. You were always my favorite girl. It's been too long it seems. A lot has changed as it should. I guess that means you married Jasper. Congratulations."

The teenage boy watched Alice and Lily, curiously. He seemed interested, and he smiled that handsome smile that disarmed Lily earlier. Alice suddenly stiffened. The boy frowned a little in response to Alice. Charlie immediately saw Alice's glance at his companion, and introduced him.

"Alice, this is my grandson, Jake Swan. He's Bella's son here to visit me for the holiday." Charlie looked a bit uncomfortable but quickly put on a smile. Remembering a heated conversation he had with Bella about Jake long ago, he was suddenly unsure how close Alice and Bella were now or how much Alice knew. He was guessing they hadn't spoken in years by the look Alice was giving Bella's son.

Alice stared at him for a moment. This was the first time she got a really good look at the boy. He was barely a boy anymore, closer to man by his looks. Bella has a son. Total mind blower.

Jake held out his hand, and said "Nice to finally meet you Alice. I'm Jake. My mom has had nothing but wonderful things to say about you."

Alice continued to stare at Jake. Bella has a son! I can't believe this! She blinked, stunned.

"Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me. Jake, it's great to meet you. This is my daughter, Lily" Alice said recovering as she took Jake's hand. His hands were large with long graceful fingers, the tips calloused. His smile was like the sun coming out from behind the clouds, so warm.

Lily smiled shyly as she met Jake's eyes. Those eyes would have been unexpected if Lily hadn't seen such bright green eyes before. His eyes were like emerald pools, so intense and yet so gentle.

"Wow. Forgive me Jake but I am still surprised to hear of Bella being a mom. It's a bit to wrap my head around. "Alice held her face in a smile as she took Jake in.

Alice felt a sudden sharp sting in her heart. This was another slap in the hurt of Bella suddenly falling out of her life so many years ago. Alice and Bella were once best friends. Bella dated Edward for three years in high school and a few years into college. They were crazy in love. For all she knew, Bella should have been her sister-in-law and Jake her nephew but here was a huge canyon of pain here, as black as space, and definitely as cold. Then, Bella was gone and Edward never really told her what happened. She knew Tanya has some part of this. She had to admit Bella sure knew how to walk away 

and empty the place in Alice's heart she held for her once best friend. She didn't even want to know how it affected Edward. Bella had removed herself so well from the Cullen life that they had no idea she had a son.

"Well, mom was never one to lay her life out there for everyone to see. She keeps things close to her, not revealing much of her personal life. I'm not that surprised anymore. She can be so open to world experience, then totally shut down when she wants no one to know what she's thinking or feeling. I think I see through her better than most; she doesn't like it. She's funny that way, but I couldn't ask for a better mother." Alice could see Jake really loved his mom. Jake spoke so respectfully of Bella, like he really understood her logic and accepted the reasons for her choices.

Bella, closed off? She was always so easy to read, Alice thought. This startling reveal was like opening a fresh wound. Alice would not let it go because it would only hurt her more if she ignored the demise of her friendship, like emotional sepsis.

"Well Alice, Jake and I have to be heading out now if we're going to make it down to La Push for dinner. It was so wonderful to see you again, it touches my heart. Give your family my best." Charlie started to push their cart away.

"I will, Charlie. Jake, it's been amazing to meet you, and tell your mom we miss her. All of us." Alice gave Charlie a meaningful look as Jake smiled that crooked smile again.

"Sure sure."

As Jake and Charlie stood at the checkout line, Alice overheard Jake talking to Charlie from a few lines away.

"Do you think we should tell Dad? I know Mom will not take this well, but I think Dad will know how to tell her we saw Alice Cullen." Jake had a concerned look on his face.

"I have no idea. Maybe you should ask your uncle Jake tonight." Charlie responded.

Alice had to hold on tight to the cart. Her mind was reeling. Who was Jake's dad? She thought it might be Jacob Black, considering his namesake. Obviously, it wasn't Jacob if he was Jake's 'uncle.' This mystery was almost more that she could take. She had to get home and tell someone before smoke started coming out of her ears.

"Mom! Earth to Mom! The ice cream is melting! Are we done here?" Lily said, annoyed.

They quickly paid for their groceries and headed back to the Cullen home. Alice drove like she was evading the law, taking the narrow curves of their private drive at breakneck speeds. Lily was glad she was buckled in tight, as the car seemed to catch air as they came up a small hill before emerging onto the main circular drive in front of the house. The Porsche came to a screeching halt.

Lily launched herself out of the car and was inside before Alice had the engine off. In a daze, Alice composed her thoughts and tried to figure out how to drop this bomb. Yes, it was a bomb and she 

didn't know how her family would react to this news. Thinking a direct approach was best, she got out of the car.

Lily was already in a tirade over her mother's maniac driving when Alice came in with a bag dripping vanilla ice cream. Rose and Esme were in the kitchen prepping food for tomorrow's feast. Esme was mashing fresh pumpkin for a pie and Rose was wiping dry a glass mixing bowl she just washed. They seemed amused by Lily's accounts of that near-death experience.

"Bella Swan has a son. "

Silence. A loud crash sounded as Rose dropped the glass bowl.

"What the hell happened?" Emmett swore as he came into the kitchen from the pantry a moment later.

"Rose! Are you okay?"

Rose and Esme stood still as statues, faces frozen in shock.

"Bella Swan has a son. I just met him at the grocery store. His name is Jake." Alice waited.

Again, stunned silence from the kitchen until Lily jolted them out of their mutual shock.

"What is with this family? So we ran into Mom's old high school friend's kid. So what. It's not cause for familial catatonia!" Lily stared at their open mouths. She shook her head, huffed loudly and quickly stomped out of the room.

Esme pulled up a bar stool for her and Rose and sat down slowly. She had always known Bella had gone on to live her life, without the Cullens. This was just more that she was expecting. In a way, it was strange to think of Bella as anything more than Alice's soul sister and Edward's first love. Bella remained frozen in her memory as that kind, smart girl that loved her children so completely. How her heart broke for them as they seemed to drift away from one another when they were separated by different universities in different states. Alice moved to New York for design school. Edward moved to Palo Alto to attend Stanford. She knew Bella moved to Florida at her mother's insistence, but had always assumed Edward would marry her and bring her home again.

Esme wasn't sure what happened with Bella and Edward, but as time moved forward Edward still spoke of the long distance relationship they tried to maintain. It was tough. Right before Edward started medical school at Stanford, Bella disappeared from his life, and then Tanya surfaced engaged to Edward. It was a terrible loss for Edward, thought Esme. They were so compatible. She couldn't understand what the connection between Edward and Tanya was, but that emotional tie died long ago. They both were barely tolerant of each other. It pained her to know this was not the life she wanted for her son.



"Wow. I can't believe it. Bella's a mom. She had a baby with someone other than Edward. What's wrong with this picture?" said Rose. Emmett stood beside her in his own daze, absently rubbing Rose's back.

"Nothing is wrong with the picture. Although surreal to us, Bella grew up and became the woman we always thought she would be. She just did it without Edward, away from us. I'm sure she's a good parent and wife." Esme thought, why did it hurt to say these words?

"What's he like? What does he look like?" asked Emmett.

Alice thought for a moment, no sure where to start.

"He's beautiful, like Bella. He's tall, taller than Charlie, maybe six feet. Lean, and built like he's an athlete, a swimmer. He has long dark hair the same deep brown as Bella. It's down passed his shoulders. At first, I thought he was Quileute with that beautiful long hair and a hint of a tan, but then he has such stunning green eyes. I overheard him call Jacob Black 'Uncle Jacob', so he's definitely not a Black child. Jake seems very mature, easy going and he spoke so reverently about his mom, like they're really close. The part about meeting Jake that bothered me most, besides the fact we had NO clue he even existed, was he asked Charlie if he should tell Bella he met me; he asked Charlie if he should ask 'dad' what to do first. I can't figure out why Bella would get upset about Jake meeting me." Alice's face twisted in confusion. She shook her head like it would clear up the situation.

"Alice, did he say how Bella was or who is father is?" asked Esme.

"No. He was polite, and seemed to have some clue who I am. I don't think Bella talks about her past much but I'm sure her friends came up at some point. Jake did say that Bella tends to shut out anyone who tries to get too close. She's obviously very guarded about her life now. He also said something about being open to world experiences, so maybe she's enjoying an exciting life. A life with Jake's father…" Alice has a hard time imagining Bella traveling all over the world, so confident and open to new experiences. She was so shy in high school, easy to blush, content not to be in the limelight. This woman Jake described was nothing close to the Bella she knew. That was the point: Alice had no idea what Bella was like now or what she was doing.

"Grandma, do you really want to know what Jake looks like?" asked Lily from the doorway.

"Yes. Why do you ask?" Esme looked lovingly at her only granddaughter.

"I sort of took his picture on my phone when I was watching him with his grandpa." Lily's cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

"Lily! Why didn't you tell me! Give me that phone now!" Alice almost ripped Lily's hand off with her cell phone as she reached for it. Lily could only believe this confirmed her family was crazy, especially her mom. Immediately, Alice was accessing the picture for Esme.



"Wow, he is beautiful. So much of Bella in him, but those eyes aren't hers or Charlie's. They're so green. It almost reminds me of…" Esme trailed of as Rose took the phone and showed Emmett.

Once again, there was total silence. The Cullens shared a meaningful look around the kitchen.

"Don't say it. It can't be, and we certainly can't jump to conclusions about anything" said Alice.

"I know, I know. I just want it to be true no matter how impossible." Esme stared again at the slight smile Lily captured. That smile took her back twenty five years to when Edward was about the same age and build. Her son was so happy then, always a grin on his face.

"Do we tell Edward?" Emmett asked the crucial question weighing on everyone's mind.

"Do we tell Edward what?" Edward said as he walked into the kitchen from the family room.

For a moment, everyone was on edge. This was not the time to bring up a possible unknown Cullen from a long lost love. Quickly, Alice recovered.

"I didn't want to tell you that I couldn't find any fresh green beans for the green bean casserole. I know you it's your favorite. I'm sorry, Edward. No casserole this year."

"Oh. Not a big deal, Alice. It looks like there'll be plenty of food without it. Thanks for thinking of me." Just as he turned to refrigerator for a snack, Tanya walked in behind him.

"Anything I can help with?" she asked, clearly waiting for the late evening when she knew most of the preparations would be complete. Typical Tanya. Her gestures were always halfhearted and insincere. Esme smiled a sad smile at her.

"No, Tanya. We're just about done. You just relax and enjoy yourself."

Alice and Rose both looked away as Tanya surveyed the prep of impending feast. Tanya tried to surpress wrinkling her nose at the traditional Thanksgiving dinner. She always wanted Edward to spend the holidays with her family in California, instead of traveling to the middle of nowhere to eat such a quaint meal. Every year her family spent a fortune on the holidays and had all their parties catered. The events were lavish and a social must for the Bay Area society. Unfortunately, she missed every holiday to spend here, with her in-laws that made her uncomfortable. What a waste, she thought.

"Well, let me know if you need any help, Esme. Edward, I'm going to bed" she said as she headed for the door. Edward didn't turn to acknowledge her. He leaned up against the cabinet, drinking a bottled water. They heard Tanya's stilettos clicking up the stairs to the second floor.

"Just another day in paradise for you, Edward?" Alice jabbed.

"Please don't start. It's the only time I get with the family, away from work and from her life. I just want to enjoy this. It's the only time I have to just be myself. Not Dr. Cullen. Not Tanya Cullen's husband or any other absurd title I might have. Please don't ruin it for me, Alice."



Edward's defensive rant caught then off guard. The frown on Edward's face softened the women in his life. Rose and Alice went to hug their brother and Esme tried not to tear up. Emmett shook his head and reached for an apple on the counter.

"Ed, I don't get why you keep trying. You're so miserable, I can hardly stand it. Why do you stay? I really want to know." Emmett Cullen was the epitome of subtle.

"Emmett, let it go" Edward growled. He realized they knew his marriage was dead, but he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge his failure. It had always been so hard to maintain some sliver of happiness with Tanya, not like the beginning when she was funny and interesting. Tanya was now a hardened socialite, with ridiculous ideas of what was important in life. She did not value is work or his ideals, unless it helped her social status. Her life was so superficial, without heart and definitely without his feelings in mind.

"Alright, that's enough Edward bashing for tonight. Leave my baby boy alone" Esme said as she gathered Edward in a warm hug. She held him like she did when he was a child, recovering from a playground tumble. To her surprise, he hugged her back like his life depended on it.

"Thanks, mom. I missed you so much. " Edward let go and leaned back against the counter again.

"Sure son. I hope you know how much we all love you and only want you happy."

"Yes, I know. " He had nothing left to say for now, so they slowly cleared the kitchen. He didn't want to get into how deeply unhappy he truly was. It was like an underground river, dark and powerful. It was too much for casual conversation and he knew his mother wouldn't let it go easily.

Edward moved to the back door next to the pantry, stepping onto the back porch and the cold November air without his coat. It was so cold and wet. Just like San Francisco. He wondered what the weather was like in Florida right now. He always wondered about Florida, about one particular Floridian. Edward imagined Bella enjoying the sunny days, the balmy nights. He could imagine her tan and healthy looking, smiling into the sun at the beach. Although this was just his imagination, he assumed she was still there close to her family there, working as writer, living her life. He once tried to google her but there were no results. The thought that maybe she was married now crushed anymore attempts at locating her. He didn't want to know if she married, if she had children. It was too painful. It was safer to just keep track of the weather and use his imagination. Less torture.

As the cold sunk into this bones, Edward brought himself back to reality. Tanya was his reality. So long ago, he had to make a choice that was unpleasant. He thought he was doing what was right, doing what was expected of him if his family knew the details. He married Tanya, regardless of how it crushed the love of his life. He never fully disclosed the situation to anyone. Only he, Tanya and Bella knew what happened that summer before medical school. It was so disgraceful, and it would embarrass his family and Tanya's if he didn't marry. How stupid could he be to get involved with Tanya in the first 

place? Stupid enough, he thought. His misery was payment for such a horrible lapse in judgment. Edward could feel another migraine coming on. Wonderful.

Edward sat down on a damp deck chair and closed his eyes. He thought back to that fateful summer so long ago. How he wished things played out differently. He wished he never applied to Stanford, and consequently never met Tanya. Bella urged him to go to the prestigious school, to become the doctor he always hoped to be. He should have gone to Florida. Bella was in college in Florida but would they would fly back and forth trying to foster their relationship. It was hard to keep their relationship on a normal even keel. The distance and absence was too much, and it killed them both. Tanya was attending Stanford and immediately had designs on landing Edward Cullen. For Tanya, Edward came from the right kind of family, since his father Carlisle was one of the most prominent surgeons on the West coast. He was beyond handsome and clearly had brains: the triple threat by her standards. The only complication was his long distance girlfriend, Bella. For Tanya, that was easily dealt with. All it took once she was sure she wanted him permanently was to get him into a compromising situation, and he would take care of the rest. Edward was one of the rare men she knew who believed strongly in a sense of honor. One rowdy fraternity party, a few strong drinks, and a careless night in some random bed was all she needed to secure the kind of man her circles drooled over. She intentionally got pregnant, but told Edward it was accidental. Drunk beyond reason that night, Edward had no one to blame but himself. It was bad enough that he cheated on Bella, but now he was going to be a father. His parents were going to kill him, so he did the only right thing: Edward married Tanya that summer. He felt like the world was ending as he pinned himself under this heavy obligation, crushed by the full weight of his double betrayal.

Edward's migraine began to bloom behind his eyes as he remembered the look on his love's face when he told her about Tanya and the baby. If it was humanly possible to hear someone's heart break, he was sure he heard Bella's. It was beyond pain. Bella ran from his apartment, with only her purse, and went right back to the airport. She flew straight back to Florida and never spoke to him again. She cut herself off from all the Cullens, and that brought more fury from Alice and Esme. Edward didn't have the heart to tell them the whole truth. It was enough that he destroyed Bella with his stupidity. In the aftermath, all he had left of her was the small carry-on bag she accidently left at his apartment that awful day. The bag was carefully hidden in his office, and every now and then when Edward was feeling especially masochistic he would hold her clothes and try to remember how she smelled. He was such a pathetic fool.

Tanya's family was thrilled by their sudden nuptials, and quickly embraced Edward as a part of the Denali clan. James and Victoria Denali were shallow people just like their daughter, so they didn't see Edward past his handsome face. Not sure how to tell his parents about his impending fatherhood, Edward stalled for time. He knew he was a coward. As fate would have it, there was nothing to tell. Tanya's pregnancy was ectopic, and she lost a fallopian tube. As time passed, Edward graduated from medical school, began a residency program in the Bay Area and became a dependable husband.

Much to Tanya's dismay, they were never able to get pregnant again. That one pregnancy was her only clear shot at motherhood. She tried fertility specialist after fertility specialist to no avail. One specialist gave it to her straight: "I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen, but sometimes some couples are just not meant to have children together. Their chemistry is incompatible, and their bodies natural defenses reject each other. That's what's happening now. Your body is defending itself from your husband's sperm, sort of like an invading bacteria or virus. It's killing off healthy sperm." Tanya and Edward sat thunderstruck at the end of the possibility of kids. It was their one united hope to have a child to keep their marriage semi-intact. As that boat drifted away, the wake pushed them farther apart. Now they were house mates, sleeping in separate rooms, had separate lives. But the need for the Denali's to maintain the facade of perfection kept them living this horrible lie. Their whole life was a lie. A big stupid lie Edward couldn't extract himself from because of his foolish pride. He was sure she had lovers, but as long has she was discrete he didn't care. He once proposed divorce and that unleashed such fury from his in-laws at the scandal it would cause. So, that was the state of his life, sitting in the cold as his parents, pretending with Tanya, and imagining Bella's life without him until he had a headache.

As the cold drilled into his head along with the migraine, Edward walked back into the house and searched for his migraine medicine. He took two pills and headed for bed, lying next to his wife he didn't love or even like. The quiet was so loud to him. He wasn't sure if she was asleep. It didn't matter to him. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could remember one of those sweet nights he spent making out with Bella on the back porch, holding her soft body so close that there was no space between them. Maybe he would even dream about her, feel her kisses on his lips and face, hear her sweet voice saying his name, smelling her delicious scent as she caressed his body. Maybe he would wake up in an alternate universe where she was the woman next to him, sharing his life, loving him completely. That brought a smile to his face. Yes, he was a fool but the dream of that life was far better than his reality. He sunk into sleep with that last thought playing with his mind. Bella, I should never have let you go.