Twilight and it's characters are property of Stephenie Meyer
My feet paced across the floor as my anxiety level increased. I was getting married in two days. Two days! This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life but I was anything but happy. In fact I was downright miserable. I had been so sure I was in love with Edward, that being with him for eternity was what I wanted. I was about to give up everything for him. But now all I could think about was my best friend. No one had seen him since he'd gotten the wedding invitation weeks ago and I was worried sick. He was out there hurt and alone and it was all my fault. I kept replaying our last conversation in my head and I just couldn't believe the way I treated him.
"You're still going to marry him?!" He asked while practically throwing the fancy wedding invitation at me and the force in his voice made me jump back. I could see how angry he was but I knew him well enough to understand it was just a defensive mechanism. To protect him from the pain I was inflicting on him, again. "Even after what happened between us?"
"We both know that night should have never happened, it was a mistake."
"Really?" He said sarcastically. "I certainly wouldn't have known by the way you were kissing and touching me." He sneered and his words made me flinch. I closed my eyes and my mind instantly took me back to the night that changed everything. The night Jacob and I had sex. I could still taste his lips on mine. I could vividly remember how amazing his body felt against mine, how unbelievably good it felt to have him inside of me. As much as I wanted to I couldn't bring myself to regret it, it was the most incredible experience of my life.
"I love him Jacob, you know that." It was all I could say at the moment but even as the words left my lips I knew I didn't mean them. At least not the way I used to.
"I am so sick of hearing those words come out of your mouth Bella! What about me huh? Do I mean anything at all to you?" If only he knew, he was everything.
"Of course you do Jake, I love you-"
"But you love him more right?" The anguish and defeat in his voice damn near broke my heart. "You know what? I'm so done with this, I'm done with you. I'm tired of being second best to a fucking bloodsucker, have a nice life Bells." He said walking away and it was like the wind had been knocked out of me.
"Jake please wait." I called out but he kept walking. "Jacob!" He took off running and didn't even bother taking off his clothes before phasing and disappearing into the trees.
That was the last time anyone had seen him and I was frantic. I was haunted by the hurt in his eyes and knowing I was the one that put it there. The pain of watching him walk away from me had brought me to tears and I crumbled to my knees. I had thought Edward leaving me left a hole in my heart, but Jacob had ripped it out and taken it with him. Edward and I have had several fights about him. I knew he was the one responsible for sending Jacob the invitation and I did not hesitate to let him know exactly how I felt about that. And he didn't like how I spent so much time distraught over another man but he would just have to get over it. I let him separate me from Jake in the past but never again. I vowed that I would make things right between us again, if only he would come back home. A wave of nausea hit me suddenly and I took off towards the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before I emptied my guts into it. I felt another presence enter the room and my father gently pulled my hair from my face.
"Are you okay kiddo? You've been doing that a lot lately." Charlie looked at me suspiciously and I realized he was right.
"I'm fine Dad. Could you give me a minute?"
"Sure. I'll be in the living room if you need me."
"Thanks Dad." I said closing the bathroom door as panic began to sink in. Worshiping the porcelain throne had become a daily routine ever since Jake and I had- "Oh my God, this can't be happening." I had been so wrapped up in missing Jacob that I hadn't noticed that my period was MIA. I needed to get myself together, fast. I brushed my teeth before washing my hands and face and high tailed it to the local drug store. Thankfully no one I knew was there to see what I was buying and I was in and out as fast as my feet would take me. I let out a sigh of relief when I arrived back home and saw Charlie's cruiser was now gone and I had the house to myself. I looked over the test instructions and they seemed simple enough so I peed on the stick and waited. I saw the first line appear and I knew that only meant the test was working properly but my heart nearly stopped when I saw the second line forming. I picked up the box making sure it wasn't expired and double checking the instructions to make sure I didn't screw something up. All was in order there so I was glad I bought more than one. I didn't even have to pee anymore but I mustered up enough for another test and when time was up I still had the same result. I was pregnant, and there was only one person who could be the father.
"Bella love, what are you doing?" Oh no. That was the last voice I wanted to hear right now. What the hell was he doing here anyway?
"Nothing." I said quickly trying to throw them away before he could realize what they were but I was too late.
"Are those pregnancy test?" He asked in confusion reaching into the garbage and pulling one out. His eyes grew wide when he saw it was positive. The shock quickly turned to rage when he realized the implications. "Who is it Bella? Wait you don't even have to answer that, I know exactly who it is." He looked at me as if he expected me to respond but it was like my voice had abandoned me. "How could you?"
"You know how I feel about him Edward."
"Yes I do, which is exactly why I didn't want him anywhere near you!" He yelled and it suddenly all made sense. So he finally admits the truth. All this time he had been saying he didn't want me around Jacob because he was concerned about my safety, when in reality he was just jealous of him. "When were you going to tell me you were sleeping with the dog?" I wasn't.
"I don't know." I said with a shrug. He reached out gently caressing my cheek and I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean into his touch.
"I always knew you were attracted to him. Even though you didn't want to admit it, not even to yourself." Was I that transparent? How is it that everyone could see I had feelings for Jacob, everyone but me. "Now that you've gotten that out of your system you can forget about him and we can move on." At that I backed away from his embrace. How could he expect me to just forget about Jacob? He was my best friend and he was there when everyone else gave up on me.
"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked. My tone made it obvious that I wasn't thrilled with his presence. He was supposed to be hunting with his family and I wasn't expecting him till much later.
"So I need a reason to come see my fiancé now?"
"Of course not it's just that-"
"What are you planning on doing about that-" He struggled to find the words.
"What am I going to do about what?"
"That thing." He said pointing to my stomach. "What are you going to do about that thing?" Did he just refer to my baby as a thing?
"Um I'm going to keep it. What do you mean?"
"You can't be serious Bella. I'm willing to forgive you for cheating on me because he's gone but we're getting married in a matter of hours now. I can't take you as my bride and you're carrying a wolf's baby. You have to get rid of it." I felt my blood pressure rise as anger took over me. How dare he?! I could never kill a child, especially one Jacob and I had created.
"Are you crazy? I would never do something like that." We were both silent for what seemed like forever as the meaning of my words sank in. Keeping this baby means it's over between us, and I was finally willing to accept that. I loved Edward, I truly did. I just wasn't in love with him anymore. I looked down at my left hand and pulled off his mother's ring handing it back to him. He looked at me as if he wanted to say something else but didn't. "I'm sorry." Was all I could say and he nodded. I almost felt bad, almost.
"Do you love him?" He asked and for once there was no doubt, no hesitation.
"Yes, very much so."
"Then I won't stand in your way." I let out a sigh of relief thankful he was taking this so well, until he spoke again. "But Bella, he's not coming back." He said and then he was gone before I could ask what he meant. I went to lock my window and crawled under the covers. It was still early in the day but I was exhausted. Everything was so clear now. It was Jacob the whole time, I was just too selfish and stuck on Edward to realize it. He saved me in every way possible, even from myself. Now I needed him more than ever but he was no one where to be found. My heart was breaking every moment he's gone and it was becoming obvious he was the one I couldn't live without. God please bring my Jacob back to me.
