Chapter 1
"Katniss" Peeta says walking out of the kitchen.
"Morning, what are you doing here this early?" I say "I thought that you weren't coming after the announcement about the Quell last night and how it's going to come earlier."
"I couldn't just stay at the bakery. My Mum can't stand in the same room as me without bursting into tears" he explains. "She didn't know until I got in last night. She sits waiting for me to get in before she can even think about going to bed. After seven weeks without knowing if she will ever see me again, she just waits. We don't complain though." And he lets a smile creep onto his face but I know why.
"Why didn't you say? I wouldn't keep you so long, especially last night. So what did you tell her?" I say as he joins me on the sofa where we sat last night
"That's why I didn't tell you. I wanted to be with you when it was announced and let's face it neither of us expected it to be us again" he smiles teasingly, I didn't take it well; I started to swear at the screen as if it will make a difference but calmed down surprisingly quickly when I realised that I couldn't change it. Then he begins again. "She had an idea when I came in. Even James said I was like a ghost. She said it straight away, 'not again.' I nodded, so she left the house and I went to my room. She was curled up in a ball this morning crying, so I snuck out off to the bakery to make some bread for the bakery, something to keep me busy and to keep James off my case. She must have heard me and came in, looked at me then ran out in tears. So how is your Mum and Prim taking it?"
"Mum has gone into shock, again, and Prim cried all night long. She couldn't even cuddle me; she thinks it is her fault that I have to go in again." I knew I had to tell him the news.
I had a feeling that I might have been for about two weeks but wasn't sure. Prim guessed, after all she is practically a twelve year old doctor. She asked me and I told her I didn't know and not to tell Mum. So she examined me and said that my thoughts were correct and I'm already three weeks.
"Peeta … I need to tell you something"
"Sure what"?
"Your" then I begin to change my mind about telling him
"I'm what" – here goes nothing
"Going to be a Dad" done.
Chapter 2
"What"!?
"I'm pregnant" I say freely, knowing that I have already said it once
"Whah- I mean how long have you known?" Peeta asks sounding confused
"Two weeks"
"So we are finally going to have a family of our own toge…Wait it is mine?" Peeta asks carefully placing his warm, strong hand on my belly.
He is obviously thinking about me and Gale in the woods "Yes Peeta, it's yours."
"I'm going to be a Dad and you're going to be a Mum" Peeta shrieks.
"I guess we are Peeta, but keep it down, I don't want my Mum to find out." Peeta's expression changes but his hand does not move from my stomach.
"The Quell in the arena, you could lose it or get killed yourself! Katniss, what are we going to do? We can't just get on with it. We have to do something now!" Peeta cries while in a state of panic and making no attempt to keep it down. "Who knows about the baby?"
"No one apart from me and Prim, and she promised she would not tell Mum. You had to be the first to know but Prim guessed and I couldn't lie to her Peeta, I'm sorry" I say trying to answer all of his questions and even ones he didn't ask "We can't do anything but look after each other and the baby."
"You don't have to be sorry and I will look after you in the arena" Peeta says standing beside me with his arm wrapped around my waist and hand still on my belly. Looking into the mirror hanging on the wall below the stairs he says "This is our little family" and he smiles.
Just then Gale bursts in the room and slams Peeta up against the wall; this is my life after all. "How could you!" he asks right in his face
"What?" a puzzled Peeta asks trying to get a breath. He looks straight at me. I can see his thoughts in his eyes: does he know that I am pregnant and I never told him a thing?
"Let him go Gale please, for me" I helplessly plea, prising him off Peeta.
"No chance! I spoke to that's Mom" kicking Peeta, Gale continued "She said that he has been staying here with you, I kept your spirits up for years and thought maybe, while all along you two are all cosy in bed together!"
"Gale we are together and I thought you understood that" I shout defensively and a little hurt. Gale frees Peeta's neck from his grasp and Peeta sinks to the ground out of breath.
"Yes I do understand but I don't agree with it" Gale shouts in my face.
"Well it is a good job no one asked for your approval!" I shoot back as Peeta finds his feet and stands up next to me, his hands around my waist protectively the way only Peeta can make me feel.
"I think you should go now before you lose your temper again" Peeta sternly decides just a little too late.
"Fine" Gale jerks for the door but spins round, takes my hand and drags me out too; I don't protest though I just go with him hopefully saving Peeta from another battering. We head past the Seam and towards the woods under the supposedly electrified chain and in to the heart of the woods out of sight.
"Gale-"
"No I don't want to hear it." Gale orders so I catch my breath. "You just sit there and remember the last time we sat here ok." I sit down obediently.
I think back and realise that it has been five months since the reaping and the conversation about never having kids. I rub my tummy discretely where I carry Peeta's child, my child.
"The reaping" I say fiddling with the berries that is labled by my Dad as deadly, it can make your heart stop but it wonk kill you just knock you out for as long as it takes for someone to revive you but you must be revived within four hours of the consumption.
"Yeah and you have to keep the promise…-"
"What promise? I never made a promise!" I protest. Dropping he berries in rage.
"That you will never have kids" he 'reminds' me. "You just think about that when you sleep together. I still can't believe you would sleep with him."
"That wasn't a promise Gale." I have to tell him, I can't keep it a secret from him anymore. I already have a debt with him for keeping my family alive while I was in that damn arena.
"Gale-"
"Sleep with me now. I will prove that I will be better for you than he is."
"No Gale!" I protest alarmed but he doesn't listen or pick up on my horror at his proposition and instead drags me to this little house we used to play in as children, my Dad and I made it from scratch when I was seven and I had to finish it when I was nine, I have lots of happy memory's here but this isn't one of them. He takes his shirt off and then looks right at me.
"Come on then, if you will do it for him you can do it for me" he shouts but then his voice turns to a whisper. "What's wrong? Afraid of the truth because you know that I'm better."
"No! You are a monster and I never even realised it!" I scream "I'm pregnant!"
"What?" Then he gets up with an evil and unhappy smirk on his face and runs.
Chapter 3
I take my time going home, careful not to fall on the slippery cobbles; it must have rained whilst I was in the woodland house. Once I reached the victor's village it was easy to see that my front door is open, so I speed up a little. All I can hear is Peeta and Gale arguing so I knock. Wait! This is my house, why did I do that? Huu, it's too late now and I am past caring about anything. Peeta is shouting "She wouldn't do that!" and Gale swears.
"Really wouldn't she?"
"What have you told him?" I shriek.
"Go on. Tell him you are pregnant with my baby. Aren't you?"
It takes a moment to realise what he has just said, but I know there is no chance that it is Gale's.
"No, Gale the baby is Peeta's not yours! You know that so stop patronizing him."
"You know what happened in the woods on the day of the reaping and the night after you got back off the tour and just now. Peeta it's a shame that you couldn't have seen it. Katniss just went for me oww Katniss do share it with your Peeta." Lies that is all they are
"What happened on the day of the reaping?" Peeta asks sounding unsure if he really wants to know the answer.
"Don't tell me you never guessed that lover boy ehh, we are more than friends."
I flip and shove Gale out the house, something I should have done when he came here this morning; I don't need this right now because I have lots of other things that take priority. I run upstairs to our third floor room that Peeta and I share. I lay on the double bed with my top slightly rolled up, walking the tips of my fingers around my flat belly gently. Well I really wish I had of kept my mouth shut now. There is a quiet tap on the door and Peeta walks in and sits on the edge of the bed looking at my stomach proudly.
"Is it true about you and him and that the baby could be his?"
"We never did it. We talked about escaping as we always do at a reaping and took the mick out of Effie Trinket. Tonight he tried it on with me for the first time in the woods but I said no. That's all that happened! It's yours from that night in the Capital. In the middle of the night, remember? Then my prep team came in at eight to well prep me for the train ride home. Then my prep team burst into tears at the sight of us cuddling in together, fast asleep. Flavius even admitted that to them it is a miracle that someone from twelve had won let alone two. But then we might never have a family because of Snow. But we are going to have a family now together. The baby's yours Peeta. I love you and I wouldn't do that to you. Gale is just an old friend that's all, nothing more nothing less." Although I am seriously rethinking that status
"I'm sorry I just needed to know that's all. I love you too and can I just say that that night was the best night ever. It was a perfect place because it was where we spent most of our time. It was the last night of the victory tour and it was like a goodbye, but not." By that point I am falling asleep next to him, my head on his shoulder but I sort of listen to him. "It showed me how much you mean to me and I must mean to you because you knew that you would end up pregnant. I'm just sorry I ever doubted you. I love you and our child so much." Then he whispers in my ear "marry me?"
Chapter 4
The next two months are pretty boring we sit and do nothing until we decide to start on the nursery and we buy a crib and paint the walls white but it looked to boring so Peeta being the artist that he is bought some pastel coloured paints: baby pink, light blue, darker pink and pale yellow and we painted love just above the skirting board lots of times and Peeta drew teddy's too it looked really nice and it was all done in under two weeks but then the realisation hits me when we receive a phone call from Snows sectary to tell us that we will be paid a visit by Snow and to stay in for the rest of the day and we do, we stay in and await this visit. As it begins to get dark I get up and go to bed leaving Peeta "If it was that important he would have been here by now" and he smiles I start up the stairs and look down on the sofa where he will have to sit alone until Snow gets round to us to talk to us about god knows what but I don't care what I care about is that in under a week I will be back in an arena but this time I will be three months pregnant.
I just lay there and wait until Peeta comes up and lays next to me "Why say you're going to come but never bother turning up" Peeta says "Its twelve thirty he would have been here by now" I nod but I just can't shake the thought that I may never get around to giving birth, that the nursery will be a waste it's daunting really. But most of all that it would be in his hands, I don't want to die in Snows hands!
Chapter 5
Peeta stayed over last night again he lay there holding on to me with his hand on my belly with mine on top of his. Then the peace changed as Effie bursts in knocking me back to realisation in under week I will be in an arena and either me or Peeta will be dead and of course it wouldn't just be my death Peeta would have to deal with it would be the baby's too but I made that decision by myself
"We have a busy b…" the shock registers on her face
I nudge Peeta and he rouses
Effie begins to cry so I nestle my face into Peeta's chest to block out yet another face crying it's awful that even on my last day at home I have to deal with crying from my Mother, Prim, my prep team and now Effie, it's strange I should be the one getting comforted but instead I'm doing the comforting. He gently smooth's my hair down repeatedly with one hand and the other hand still on our baby's tiny mound. She calls up Cinna to prep me but he is having breakfast with my family so Effie goes to join them, no doubt to tell them of her surprise she encountered. I stand up in my clothes from yesterday and look in my mirror "Peeta look" he turns to admire the little bump that is just beginning to appear then comes to join me he cuddles me in tight and kisses our new baby bump then me
Once we are dressed Effie ushers us to the familiar train and announces that she has managed to one keep us right on time and two that she has got me and Peeta sharing a room. Since she encountered us together she has let us sit next to each other instead of having a pile of pink stuck in the middle of us.
As the train slides away from district twelve we pass Prim's school. I soon realise that I never got to say goodbye to her she had left for school before I woke. I feel sick, I run to the toilet and throw up, and Peeta follows rubbing my back soothingly. I honestly don't how that helps but at least it shows he cares I don't know what I would do without him,
One I wouldn't be pregnant which, surprisingly, I'm growing to love
Two his protectiveness
Three his hugs
Four he is always there for me
I love him so much I would carry a child for him something I always swore I would never do but with him it just feels right with no strings attached no President Snow sticking his unwanted nose in ruining it for us, Yet. This is something he can't, wont destroy for me and Peeta …me and Peeta, me and PEETA, did he propose to me at least I think he did but I won't ask just in case it spoils things and he didn't plus how do you say it hey Peeta did you propose to me? Or Peeta do you want me to marry you? No if he is serious he will ask again, it must be getting on as most of the light has drained from outside "Peeta I'm going to lie down ok I'm tired"
"Yeah sure here let me help you" he offers his hand and I take it he is so strong but so gentle at the same time
Once we get to our room I'm changed and I roll up my shirt to see how my bump is doing it is invisible under my clothes but bare you can just see it I rub it just as Peeta walks in "what's wrong has something happened?"
"No just saying goodnight. Peeta do you regret us sleeping together that night" I say kind of outa the blue and yet I had never even thought about it so I really don't know where that came from.
"No, because of that night you have a part of me so that when I die in the arena you will have someone to remember me by, forever."
"You can't die Peeta we will find a way to be together and get out of the arena somehow so we can both be parents to our baby I can't do it by myself and I love you too much to just let you die!"
"But if it came down to it and only one victor could be crowned promise me you will let me kill myself and you will not try to find me or save me I don't want you to see me when I die I don't want you to remember me like that please?"
"I promise you" I say but if it came down to it I would kill myself because that way Peeta can forget about me and move on, have a child with someone else so their child can have both parents it would be unfair "are you looking forward to being a Dad?"
"I don't know I'm petrified but excited at the same time what if I am a bad Dad or I do something wrong but then there is the other side watching it grow up and say its first word get married have kids there is more good than bad I guess, what about you"
"I'm just excited all around, Peeta can I tell you something about me"
"Sure what"
"I always used to swear that I would never have a child I used to say it was because of where we lived but beneath that I was frightened of being frightened"
"And I have got you pregnant, Katniss I'm so sorry"
"No it was me too and I thought it would be worse than this" I say
"Okay" he says still sounding unsure
"Love you!" I say chirpily giving him a fright
"Love you too" We kiss each other goodnight and climb into bed together, I drop off to sleep but Peeta just lays next to me and holds on to my stomach where in about two months' time will be a big ish mound but at the moment it is only visible.
Chapter 6
Roses I can smell roses I'm being breathed on, I think, my wrists are sore so is my ankles and my head, I can't move, I'm paralyzed. I look up to see him just standing there white beard and hair breathing above me. Blood I can smell blood as well. I scream and scream "What have you done to me" then he comes stands in front of me with a tiny bundle he unravels it a little exposing what looks like a face them a bit more then shows fully a underdeveloped child a severely premature child, a dead child he whispers meet you child then throws it in to a fire about a meter away from where I am. I scream. I scream for Peeta. He never replies. He never comes.
Chapter 7
I wake with a start but Peeta has me cuddled so tight I could pop but then all I can hear is Screaming; chanting and screaming, my prep team are ready and waiting for us and I realise that here we are again, the capital its awful to be here again this is the first place I will have taken my unborn child, I finally allow myself to properly consider the thought that me and our child could come out or Peeta could come out or of course neither could come out we are faced with a completely different pool of tributes, they are victors. People who have better skills to us and who are ruthless, we really don't stand a chance I have saw some of the tapes but at least I'm not showing under my baggy khaki coloured shirt so I have one less thing to worry because that would be horrendous the capital and Snow would know then. That is now my number one rule DO NOT LET SNOW IN TO MY LIFE ANYMORE THAN HE ALREADY IS! Peeta holds on to me protectively as we battle are way through the crowds to the backstage entrance of the capitals theatre this is also where we go for the interviews. I think. Each door has a different number on it mine has twelve-one on I guess that Peeta's will have twelve-two on but further down the hall there is a thirteen -one and a thirteen -two on the solid metallic door this is strange as the Capitol never wastes anything and we all know the story's about how the Capitol bombed thirteen until nothing remained including the residents but that can never be proved as this is just what the Capitol tells us and at the moment they aren't my favourite people at present all things considered.
Chapter 8
I am taken to be prepped for the tribute parade, the usual routine: wax, pluck, wax, pluck ,wash wax, brush, cut ,wax again then wash until I feel hair less "I can brush my own hair you know" I tease not remembering that the Capitol people don't take jokes well
"We know but we are under strict instructions to pamper you!" Flavius sweetly says
"Yeah thanks" I say dumbly
"I think you are ready to go to Cinna now" Venia decides admiring her work
They leave my side reluctantly and disappear down the hall thank god my prep team are not very bright they didn't seem to notice my bump they were too busy chatting about tea last night to take notice but in mid thought Cinna appeared "Katniss"
"Oww hay"
"Do you want to get ready for the parade now?"
"Ok" I agree reluctantly
"Come on then or are you going to wear it over your clothes"
I strip off reviling my slightly swollen stomach
Cinna however is bright and looks shocked "Is it Peeta's, does he know?"
"Yes its Peeta's, why does everyone I have told ask that" I joke and he takes the joke really he could pass as a district man but he still looks concerned and full of questions
"Was it planned" he asks
"Yes it was on the last night of the tour in the Capitol" I say ending the convosation completely
I wear a red jump suit similar to the one I wore the first time around but without the flames this time I have wings like a mockingjay as does Peeta. Now I'm showing but this suit is skin tight.
"Come on its time to go" Effie says ushering us out of the dressing room
When did she even come in I didn't notice her and I mean her pink wig is kind of hard to miss.
When I emerge from the dressing room Peeta is waiting outside for me, his eyes are immediately drawn to my tummy he smiles and pulls me in close I glance around and notice that Cinna, Effie and my prep team have hurried down the hall.
"How many weeks are we now" Peeta asks holding on to the bottom of the bump
"Three month and one week tomorrow, Peeta if I die will you get the baby out for me and look after it and tell it about me"
"You are not going to die I will not let you in fact I'm not even going to let you out of my sight"
"Please just promise me"
"I promise you I will get out our baby for you if you die" Peeta says sarcastically almost laughing but I wasn't joking
"Come on you two" Effie says just appearing
"You three" Peeta whispers holding my stomach
"I'm sure she is a ghost she just appears then disappears out of nowhere, she did it before as well!"
Peeta laughs as we approach the lobby where the chariots are standing waiting Peeta lifts me on to the chariot that is marked twelve this year they are enclosed with you district number stuck on in red writing he climbs on to and we hold hands as the chariot lunged forwards in to the crowds who scream and yell I place my hand carefully on top of my tummy as an aching surge of guilt runs through my veins, I have come here again which is breaching my immunity contract that was signed when the games were founded but I never thought about this, my little baby will have to see this in years to come or he or she might even experience it, the immunity stops at you, only you can be immune. I have pretty much doomed this baby, I slouch down on the built in sofa resting both hands on top of the bump as if I can just reach in and rip it out so it dosent have to go through this and in that moment I realise why I have done this, Peeta, he is so excited and so was I until seconds ago what is happening to me I am changing, braking my own rules and falling in love but the thing is I like it, I like the thought that yeah there is the chance, but if the worse should happen and it is picked we would be its mentors along with Haymich, and we wouldn't let it die, so I shake it out of my head and hold Peeta's hand like I will fall out of this carriage thing if I don't "What's wrong?" he asks looking really concerned
"Nothing I was just being really daft, having a stupid thought that I have sorted out" and I smile at him and then rest my head on his shoulder "What was the point of getting us all dressed up when no one can see us?" and I look out of the side window to see people are waving at us even though they can't actually see us, it is all pointless really.
As the chariot jerks to a stop President Snow gives his speech:
"welcome ex-victors we welcome you back" he pauses as the crowd roars in floods of applause, screams and waves their hands wildly above their heads blah, blah, blah "welcome to the seventy fifth hunger games also known as the Quarter Quell" and same again floods of applause is this how the whole five minutes are going to plan out everything he says followed by applause, great, he continues swiftly " I would just like to explain quickly why the games have been brought forwards two months; this is because we uncovered the true date the rebellion happened and thought wise to mark that date also I would like to apologise to this year's victors for the over lay in the tour and also may the odds are always in your favour" the crowd go wild screaming and shouting
"How blooming considerate to think of us your flipping Highness!" I mumble to myself
"I sure hope it can't hear this it will wake it up" Peeta explains I manage a smile over the hatred I have for Snow he apologised to us but he didn't mean it or he wouldn't have thrown us in in the first place
We lunge forward then halt shortly after to greet Haymich, Effie, Cinna and Porcha. But I notice as we chat that a man from district four is smiling at me as I hold Peeta's hand, Haymich must have also noticed as he nudges me and mouths Fennic to me and smiles approvingly this is what he does he tells me who I can trust and who not to, Haymich taps his wrist showing me a platted bracelet tied to his wrist and again nods approvingly. Peeta has been too busy talking to Cinna, Porcha and Effie to notice mine and Haymich's conversation so Haymich interrupts their chatting and announces that we should go up to the room so Peeta physically carry's me to the lift occasionally spinning then puts me down as the lift doors gracefully slide close then we shoot up to the twelfth floor and emerge to the also familiar apartment to find dinner is waiting for us, Peeta and I just run to the bedroom.
Chapter 9
We lock the door, Peeta goes to the bathroom and I peel off the skin tight suit, change into my pyjamas and lay on the bed when Peeta returns he smiles and joins me we ley on the bed kissing and rubbing my belly "this is where we made this happen do you remember" he whispers
"Of course I remember" I reply thinking back to the thirty first of July, the last night of the tour. The tour went on longer than usual as normally you spend an afternoon and a night in each district this takes twelve days we then spent a week in the Capitol so all together the tour should have gone on for three weeks but we ended up staying in the Capitol for nineteen days due to the lines from district four-five being destroyed in the uprising all together we spent over a whole month together on a holiday kind of apart from Effie' and on the night before we travelled it happened and wrap my hand around my bump in the middle.
Minuets pass by until Peeta gets out of bed removing his strong hand and gets down on one knee and presents me with a silver, diamond ring with ten small diamonds, six making up a flower and four making a line just below it, they join the tip of a petal to the end of the row of diamonds forming the ring that is beautifully crafted, it is beautiful "Katniss Everdean will you do me the honour of marrying me" he beams
I go in to shock.
Chapter 10
"YES I will" I scream barely able to get my words out fast enough. Peeta picks me up and spins me around then kisses me
"I love you very much and I will never let anyone hurt you Mrs Malark" he says putting me down he kisses me again and again and again then skips and skids out the room and across the landing and is gone ages until he comes back with a steaming cup of Capitol hot chocolate, I take a sip then clime in to bed next to Peeta and cuddle in to my fiancé and he cuddles in to us tightly but I can't keep my eyes of the new ring that glistens in the dim light of the room, I'm now engaged!
We soon drop off to sleep and I realize that for ages Snow has not interfered in my dreams as well as my life I make another two promises to myself:
Don't let him in to my baby's life
Don't let him in to my marriage at all. I'm getting married, is my final thought as I fall asleep.
Chapter 11
Cinna arrives early with my dress for tonight's interviews
"Katniss sorry to wake you three…" Peeta looks confused at me "but the interviews have been brought forward to lunchtime so we have to get cracking on Katniss and Porcha you Peeta ok" Cinna smiles and leaves the room in a urgent manna
I get up and follow Cinna to my room where I sit down as he unveils his masterpiece, the dress, it is beautiful the attention to detail is exquisite there is tiny little purple gems with a sparkly centre stitched on individually, the stiches barely noticeable. The material is so smooth, like silk, precisely joined all the seams with tiny little lilac stiches, the exact colour of the dress woven in and out so closely you can hardly notice them all in line with the next the dress seems to come out at the bottom as the top half is a tight laced up black corset with a lilac ribbon hanging neatly to be tied at the back with little decoration but the darker purple Vail like material that is stitched on still showing the black through the tiny, repetitive, precise holes but the net stops to show the little glittered holes where the ribbon is platted from the top left corner to the top right corner then the right corner goes to the second left corner. The right corner goes to the second left corner and this pattern is repeated seven times the net has a sparkle of white glitter that dazzles in the dressing room light, blinding your sight for a few seconds the net continued perfectly to form the arms with a silk ribbon cuff that matches the rest of the dress and corset ribbon "its….beautiful Cinna how did you-" I say lost for words
"I made it myself" Cinna says proudly
"It's absolutely gorgeous" I stutter
"Come on then try it on then see if it suits you two!"
I step in to it and pull it over my slight bump and I cautiously insert my arms in to the net poofs
"It is up to you now you can either have the corset so tight you can't see the bump or have it loose and share it with the whole of panem"
"Tight please" I had already decided I think
"This is going to hurt a little ok so be ready" Just then he pulls the string and my bump is gone, along with most the bones in my back though
I gasp in astonishment and a tiny wince of pain and breathlessness creeps into my voice "I don't look like I have ever eaten never mind being over three month pregnant Cinna you are amazing" I say hugging him "what about hair and make-up?"
"I have decided to go natural for this one just you nothing false"
"What do you think of my engagement ring then?" I say flashing it in front of him "Isn't it beautiful, Cinna I'm engaged can you believe it and it goes with my dress!"
"Congratulations, I wish I could have seen you on your wedding day, maybe I could have designed you a dress!"
"You can see me on my wedding day" and he smiles
"Congratulations and you look stunning!
I hug him "thank you Cinna for everything."
Chapter 12
As we leave the dressing room Peeta awaits me and as emerge from behind Cinna Peeta gasps "you look beautiful" and pulls me in close as Cinna and Effie disappear round the corner he kisses me then picks me up and takes me into my dresser and sits me on his knee on the sofa where Cinna had sat seconds ago and kisses me. Again "you look so beautiful you know and we have to set a date for the wedding"
"Thank you but Peeta I don't want to plan the wedding if it might not happen"
"I don't understand"
"I mean if one of us dies then what, Peeta I'm not going to get my hopes up" I blurt out "we won't be as lucky this time as we were the last time!"
"Don't worry I will be here all the way through the games and the pregnancy so don't worry about anything" I cuddle in to Peeta for dear life for what seems like ages but then the buzz sounds and we have to make our way back stage, why did I choose him to come in with me Haymich was willing to, and die to protect us and I threw it back in his face clearly not thinking he was giving me a life line, a way round it and I am normally good at this sort of thing. "Come on then" and Peeta holds my hand as we leave the dressing room and head down the corridor past the other districts doors and as we get to district fours doors the same man smiles at me that smiled at me at the parade and he grabs my hand forcing me to stop but my grip on Peeta's hand does not loosen making him jerk back too and he spins around in surprise
"I'm Fennic sorry I didn't introduce myself at the parade when we first met I was in the games twenty two years ago but I know who you are your Katniss Everdean and Peeta Malark aren't you!"
"Yes well it's nice to meet you Fennic" I say and he kisses me on the cheek making Peeta tighten his grip then releases it to shake Fennic's hand
"Nice to meet you" Peeta says
"Strong grip" and Fennic raises an eyebrow as he says it then nods towards the stage entrance where Effie is pacing on the other side of the glass door because we will be late if we don't leave now, she has the staff round the bend the way she carry's on sometimes
"See you tonight then" he says turning on his heels to face the elderly lady by his side and taking her arm to aid her as she walks.
I find Peeta's hand and walk with him to the entrance where Effie was seconds ago but she has now vanished "I'm telling you she is a ghost she just disappears" Peeta just laughs in agreement.
"That would explain the white face then" he says holding the door open for me to pass.
This time the interviews are different there is seats on the stage, I find myself counting them in my head, twenty four, there is twenty four seats for twenty four victors/tributes we take our seats at the end of the row and Ceaser begins the interviews but I don't listen I just watch Cinna and often the rest of the audience who roar with laughter and boo and ahh and cough and sneeze and cheer and chant I then my eyes lock on one of them picking their noses then, get this, eats' it, yeah disgusting, when I was starving I never even dreamed of doing that, but then my name is called so Peeta releases his grasp on my hand and I stand to walk over to him, take a seat next to him as he begins.
"So what is it like to be back here in the Capitol has it changed at all?"
"Nope" I reply following Haymich's advice to show little interest in the Capitol or its contents but I do have to bite my tongue a bit
"What do you want to be in the arena, what surroundings, what surprises would you like to see this time"
"Well a bed would be nice I guess" and the audience laughs "maybe a shower too" and the audience laugh grows further
"So how are things with you and Peeta?"
"Fine everything is perfect" I say almost snarling then I almost say until you lot of freaks stick your noses in but I clamp down in my tongue again
"Good, so what was it like staying on the tour longer?"
"It was ok I mean I would have liked to have seen my sister sooner-"
"How is your sister taking all this" he asks butting in and I do an Effie in my head 'manners!' "Does she care, will she care if you die, will she care if you win, and does she love you at all?" Peeta sits behind Ceaser so I can see his reaction to the bombardment of questions and he is angry just like when Gale shouted in my face he looks ready to attack him for asking them sort of questions when the buzzer sounds thank god it sounded when it did because I feel myself wanting to cry and rage and punch Ceaser in the face but I can't not now that is what night time is for and just as I get back to my seat Peeta pulls me in and hugs me
"You ok" he whisper's in my ear, I nod into his shoulder when Ceaser stands up and begins to announce "after all the victors have been interviewed they will be taken straight to be finally prepared for the arena then transported there tonight to commence in the morning this will be the day that seventy five years ago the uprising began, ok, so next up we have Peeta Malark!" so he releases me and walks around to sit beside him still looking ready to attack
"So how do you feel about going back in to the arena?"
"I have to say Ceaser not very happy as my circumstances have changed as have Katniss's" I already don't like where this is going considering he has ignored Haymich's advice completely I'm sure mine will be out the window too
"What would you do for her?"
"If it came to it I would kill myself to save her" he says clearly grinding his teeth, and the room erupts in ahh's
"If you make it out of these games would you ask her to marry you?"
"Ceaser we are engaged!" I can't believe it he's not only told the Capitol but my Mum, Prim and Gale why he is in my feeling sorry for list I do not know, then there is Peeta's Mum, Dad and brothers will all have saw the so called big announcement that suddenly dosent seem all that big anymore
"Well at least you will have a little time with your fiancé after all a little time is better than no time"
"Maybe but I will never get to meet my child"
"Hang on so you mean Katniss is PREGNANT with your unborn child?!" I burry my faces in to my hands as I think I might begin to cry, two of my rules have been broken: one don't let Snow into my child's life and two. Do not let Snow in to my marriage at all! I'm off to a blinding start as well as my mask seems to have malfunctioned because I really can't hold back these tears!
"Yes, she is"
"What is it?"
"We don't know, nor do we want to" Peeta straightens out
"What a shame"
"NO, what is a shame is the fact that you will pit a twelve year old child with eighteen year olds, what is a shame is that you will throw a pregnant seventeen year old in with her fiancé so one will have to watch the other die" Peeta is standing up now "what is a shame is that your highlight of the year is watching twenty three kids die but as long as your children are ok you don't care who else's die. You even have the decency to cry but it is not because someone's child has died like their families are, no, you are crying because you have lost money every year we have to watch people die for your enjoyment and no it's not because of the rebellion it happened over seventy three years ago get over it! anyway you killed thousands of us we killed hundreds of you so that doesn't wash anymore it is not a price we have to pay, one, we weren't born to be a part of it so why take it out on us and, two, you have had you revenge you starve us to death people die all the time and why to show you authority? well I'm showing mine I will do my best to get my fiancé out so she can tell our child the truth about you lot, not that load of crap you teach us at school they will learn what you really are and that is murderers nothing more nothing less now that is what I blooming call a sad sick shame Ceaser!" then the buzzer conveniently sounds for the third time and Peeta comes to join me with the other victors and we all join hands, some are more reluctant than others but we bow to the crowds and a sense of urgency begins to buzz around the studio staff and the curtain drops as dose the light. We are left in darkness this is the calmest things have been since Peeta had his little 'episode'.
Chapter 13
Peeta guides me off the stage to the dressing room corridor where the lights have come back on I look at Peeta and he looks very determined as we approach Cinna, Haymich, and porcha, Haymich takes my hand and drags me and Peeta down the hall where the two district thirteen dressing rooms are "You don't know what you have just done do you?"
"The interviews and what ever happened to Peeta's and then took a bow" I say looking up at his face that now has a hint of pride in his smirk "why"
"Don't you realise"
I begin to process this information the urgency to close the curtain when we bowed, why everyone in the districts wear the pin now, the thirteen still on the door, the reason why the broadcasts are done using the same image from thirteen, why you are never taught about it at school, the whole games, my mother's anger when my Father taught me stuff, we have just added fuel to a fire that is burning strong already "we have become rebels, started a whole new rebellion….thirteen still exists!"
"Yes and you and Peeta-"
"Is the fuel that sparks off people without a cause to rebel he used to say something but I never understood what he meant, if we believe it they will know what is right to believe in … this is what caused thirteen to be blown up first place it was a threat of rebellion in thirteen. The games must have existed before that date they supposedly uncovered because the Capitol always made it out to be a lovely world with no reason to rebel and Snow came to power though votes, right, so there must have been a reason. I'm guessing that reason was family his Father must have been Una Snow he was in power before for fifty nine years then Snow for forty five this means that if it is true that Snow is Una's son then this must have been going on for one hundred and nine years so no wonder there were plot of up rise so Una made the games up for a reason three years after he came to power I'm guessing because I remember that people were beginning to mix, the Capitol were mixing with the district and same with each district. My Dad told me all about this, that way the district's would get some separation and become enemy's for killing each other's kids thirteen did not like it from the start a lady, the leader of the district began to plan secretly a form of rebellion and let the games begin and in the fifth year of the games she begins to fill people in on the plot and the leader of this rebellion idea volunteered to stand in for a child tribute I remember learning about her from my Dad he always acted in movements of rebellion, the hunting, swimming, the song, the stories, at the interviews she bowed before the crowed to show that the time was right to attack and that is what we have just done all twenty four of us but this time it is more than one outline district it is the one already underway in four and one from in the games when Rue died in eleven but now all the districts will be seeing the broadcasts and seeing it as a sign to begin and we are part of it now Peeta and me, I have always really been a rebel though!" I say excitedly processing this jigsaw that has waited years to be pieced together
"No, you and Peeta are the leaders, you unfortunately are more so, you are more like Otto, you are pregnant and I'm sorry to say this but you, Peeta and your child, are in a lot of danger, especially the child, it is in more danger than both of you put together"
"What do you mean more danger it's not even born yet for god sakes" Peeta says while I process this information that has yet again gone from good to bad
"What! How is my baby involved in this?" I ask confused looking at Peeta
"The rebels will look at it like that is why Otto Newton began to rebel all those years ago as she was pregnant too but more heavily than you are, you Katniss are in rebels eyes are another Otto but better as you have won once and you can do it again, you and Peeta because I'm not having a baby that is not even born yet involved in a rebellion without both its parents ok, now I might have a plan to get you two out of the arena but that is up to weather I can persuade Indi and my idea mightn't be suitable but first it all depends on her to agree so don't get your hopes up and don't rely on me you have to trust them" and he winks at me and his eves flick to his bracelet "And keep yourself alive, oww and congratulations" Haymich says as I cuddle in to Peeta my face hidden in his chest away from the watching world. Yeah now I know that I am absolutely one hundred percently doomed or cursed or something unlucky like that.
"Thank you" Peeta says laughing and sounding a little confused
Cinna comes and takes my hand to prep me for the arena in little under five hours and once I'm in the room I sit on the seat and take in what I have just unravelled and the danger I have put my baby in and I suddenly feel selfish but I didn't know and I can't help it and I can't change it but like Haymich said it needs both its parents there protecting it from harm and most of all to love it so I pull myself together because I need to focuses on staying alive to deliver this baby but then I realise that this rebellion might not be all bad as if we can defeat President Snow than I can ensure my baby's future, that the games will not exist for it to witness the death and suffering we have and many others have over the one hundred and nine years it has been going. So I strip off my dress and get in to the change of clothes that I will be in for the next few weeks these clothes are baggy so I don't show not like that matters now though everyone now knows.
Chapter 14
Cinna and I sit and wait for the countdown to begin but it doesn't, why, why has it not begun it should have started minutes ago then it starts a booming voice bellows down the speaker Cinna leans in and whispers
"You look after the baby and yourself but remember I'm still betting on you" I nod and he places something in my pants pocket then zips it up
"Thank you Cinna thank you so much" he kisses my head understanding and I walk over to the tube the door slides shut and the door slams open two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight peacekeepers burst in and batter Cinna over the head repeatedly until he sinks to the ground and collapses into a blooded mess on the cold concrete floor I was standing on before by Cinna's side now it is Cinna laying on the cold floor but this time he is the same temperature. I bang on the plastic and pound my fists until they are raw but the keepers don't flinch they just continue
The hacking away at Cinna's skull before my eyes, this was my doing I realise it is my fault that Cinna is now dead along with hundreds of rebels and it is all my fault, that is what he meant by the 'I wish I could see you on your wedding day' speech, he knew he was going to die for believing in me, what about Porcha? Is she being treated the same? I hope not. This is all my doing and it's my fault that I have put my baby's life in danger but the tube still does not go it just stays where it is then the head peacekeeper comes through the inches thick metallic door and nods to his team and they drag Cinna's bloody body away leaving blood smears on the concrete floor. I lean on the glass traumatised absorbing the images I have just seen, so much so I did not realise that the peddle stone had started moving upwards so I straighten up, I have to do Cinna justice because he believed in me, I have to win for him not to join him.
As I rise up into the atmosphere I am hit with the smell of salt I can feel water at my feet, it is cold, the cornucopia is in the centre of what looks like a beach and the water that surrounds it is very deep, I think back briefly to my Dad and how he taught me to swim keep your legs kicking he used to say to me
Two,
One,
I jump.
Chapter 15
I kick, I swim, I put my feet down as it gets shallower and then run straight in to the mouth of the cornucopia and grab the bow quiver of arrows and a knife then I turn to find Fennic standing behind me he hold out his arm and shows me the exact bracelet that Haymich had on "well I see you are a good swimmer too who taught you?"
"My Dad" I reply still unsure of this man who wears the bracelet Haymich has "Why haven't you tried to kill me yet Fennic?"
Because I am your ally Haymich gave me this to show that I am friends with him and you can trust me to protect you and Peeta, he has a plan but we have to stay together and you have to trust me"
"Where is Peeta?" I say moving around the cornucopia to see majority of people still on the peddle stones because they are unable to swim including Peeta ….
"Peeta" I cry he looks around for me, spots me and exhales in relief I run and begin to put my weapons down when Fennic come and puts his trident down and dives in and swims to Peeta's aid he glances at me and I nod telling him to trust him and he does, he holds on as Fennic tows him to the shore and I pull him in and hug my fiancé and mouth thank you to Fennic. He smiles and collects his trident
"I didn't know you could swim how'd you learn?"
"Can I tell you the full story tonight?"
"Yeah sure, where will we go now then?"
For the first time I stand and take in the surroundings and realise we are surrounded by a jungle "I think we should try in the jungle we might find water"
"Katniss we are in the middle of a lake on a little island we have lots of drinking water plus protection"
"It's not a lake it's the sea and if we are not careful the tied will come in, we can't drink it, it's is salty, come on I will take you to get some weapons "I say taking Peeta's hand and leading him to the mouth eighteen people are still on the peddle stones I notice and as we get around that Gemma, from seven is also a able swimmer and she gets a fright at our presence
"Don't worry I will not try to kill you" and holds up her arm and a red bracelet also identical to Haymich's and Fennic's hangs neatly from her wrist I'm actually starting to feel a bit left out, I want one!
"Ok we are just going to get Peeta a weapon so Fennic is just around the corner" I smile sweetly at her
"Why has Haymich allied us with these people?" Peeta asks
"I don't know Fennic just said that Haymich has a plan if we can just trust him" I reply
"And do you, trust them"
"Yeah, he didn't try to kill me when I was at the cornucopia just then what about you?"
"I guess so" and Peeta selects a knife and a backpack no doubt filled with stuff that will only help you sleep easy at night but not to save you from murder or I believe the correct word that fits better under these circumstances is slaughter
"come on then let's go" I say to Peeta and my new 'friend' Gemma who has stuck around, so we walk around the island until we meet with Fennic he signals to the water I follow his gaze, there is three body's floating in the water, dead, the water tinted red slightly, I look back at Fennic shocked did he do this? I shake this thought from my head "what happen?" I ask
"it came from the woods whatever it was or of course whoever it was but we need to keep moving or it will be us next come on"
We all follow him to the other side of the island Peeta and I tag along behind "teach me how to swim please"
"Ok what you do is kick your legs like you are walking but faster and move your arms like this" and I swing my arms in a circle at different times "Okay, but remember to breath" I laugh as we approach the water we can see a large silhouette moving in the wood before us and we stop in our tracks "Is that what killed those three people?" I ask
"I think so it moves the same but I'm not sure what it is" Peeta wraps his arms around me and stands in front of me but I stand on my tippy toes to see, it moves a little to the left and then it comes forward a little more Fennic also stands beside me "shoot it Katniss" he whispers
"I can't what if I miss you don't know what it is yet"
"Or we could leave it to chance you know you can come on you can do it!" Peeta steps aside a little so I select an arrow from my quiver and draw the bow I get my aim right in the centre of the mysterious black thing and realise, the arrow slices through the air in a perfectly straight line and in to the trees and a yelp, an animal yelp comes from the trees, the bushes shake as it collapses in to a heap on the ground
"See we told you that you could do it!" and Peeta hugs me
"I don't think it was alone" I say slightly shaken
"Well we will chance that" Fennic says entering the water followed by me then Peeta then Gemma
I begin to swim first then Fennic and considering this is the first time Peeta has ever swam he does very well to keep up and then Gemma follows bringing up the end. Once we get to the other side we look back at where we have just been the is still over dozen still on the peddle stones "we should put her out her misery" Gemma says pointing to Magg's who is asking for someone to kill her
"No I'm not going to kill for the sake of it, it will put us all in the bad books with the sponsors ok we want to be saved not killed" Fennic tells us and I nod in agreement
"Fine" she snarls so we keep moving on Peeta and I go at the front and walk in zig zags through the trees
"We should consider making camp" Peeta says
I agree then black…
Chapter 16
The alarm sounded we all filed out of the doors and head to the mine, water every were we line up around the barrier to watch, to wait for the first coal coated man to come out and as they emerge realise this is no mine collapse this is different my Dad told me miners never seem shocked by collapses if they are it is a flood or if there is water cannons there and the miners look shocked and ash coated it's a fire, I know which it is without being told my Mum and Prim join me to. two, three, four, five ,they are coming out in drips and drabs six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, some have suffered minor burns, a few moments later thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, and that's it where is my Dad, four miners are missing including my Dad they begin to fill the mine with water my Mum cry's. Prim doesn't understand she is only six, too young to understand the conesept of death and mine explosions, stuff like that I however do – it is plain and simple – I have no Dad, oh I understand that perfectly and I stand and watch my Mum sink to the muddy floor in tears Prim comforting her I hear her weeps and my insides screaming like my heart is the one exploding but I choose not let it in any of it …whiteness
Chapter 17 Peeta
If I die get the baby out, she can't die I will not let her. I will not let her die "Fennic help her" I say resorting to slapping her across the face, "help her" I can't stop myself from crying "do something while she is still alive please"
He shakes his head.
Chapter18 Nadinear
No this is not happening to me I can't deal with the loss of both my husband and my daughter, I feel myself slipping away, NO, she told me to be there for her, to be there for her sister not for her for her little sister, Primrose sits glued to the screen in shock I go and hug her she is ridged, Peeta's Mum comes rushing through the door and joins me in the room as we watch and wait for my daughter to respond to this man's efforts which are not working but a lot can change I have seen it she is strong not like me like her Father who will help her and his unborn grandchild she will make it I'm sure of it, she wins argument's she has never been the giving in type and if there is one thing I know about my daughter she will not go down without a fight, a fight that she will always win.
Chapter 19 Prim
The cat she hated that cat but she loved me so she let me keep it I found it a whole week after Daddy died but now she will die and it will be all my fault why she went in in the first place I should have gone in I'm younger and I was chosen it must have been fate I was worried that it might happen she was not. Katniss is so strong she brought me up when Daddy died she took on three roles when she was eleven Mum, Dad and sister and I can't thank her enough for that she fed us and helped me she taught me about hunting and plants she promised I could go in the woods with her on my thirteenth birthday that is if she wakes up she has to she is pregnant and engaged she has a whole life ahead of her she can and will do it and Daddy will help her too from heaven with all the angels.
Chapter 20 Gale
I don't like him but he does love her he is holding it together for her and she is gone. She is dead to the world the girl I grew up with, the girl I love is laying in an arena dead because she is selfish because she can't be bothered to fight she will kill her baby why I care I don't know, her Mum, Prim and fortunately Peeta. It will rip him apart and I can rub it in, I go to the little house in the woods out of sight and cry and laugh at the same time.
Chapter 21 Haymich
Come on, come on that fire she has is burning out and Peeta can't cope I chose my allies well Fennic is trying as is Gemma she is calming Peeta down I can't cope to lose her she is strong and needed by too many people and Snow cannot kill her if she dies in his hands she will never rest and Peeta knows that, she can do it for Cinna's sake he died for believing in her so she needs to believe in herself she needs to stay alive, she needs to kill Snow.
Chapter 22 Katniss
My baby, my sister, Peeta, Mum, Dad and Cinna they all believe I can do it as do I that I if I can get out of this damn hole I'm slipping down deeper and deeper in to the light where my Dad awaits me, he waits for me to make my choice to live or to die I know what I would choose but is that what my body would choose? Have you ever been in a situation when you are scrambling up wards? Well that is what it feels like for me, like being trapped in a well trying to get back up before you drown, I am drowning right now I am being consumed but not by water, by light and death, my Dad is talking to me telling me to pull through that I don't need to feel guilty anymore I realise this is what I have felt all these years guilt and loss he is telling me it wasn't an accident the way the mine exploded it was deliberate he was next to the man who started the fire that is how he died he gave up for us because he was burnt, he was frightened he would scare us and that we could move on and that he is proud of me for bringing up Prim, for keeping my Mum going, for being strong and brave. And Prim he is proud of Prim then he turns and walks away towards the light in his miners uniform further from me towards the abyss then turns, I love you then he is gone I am realised from deaths claws and drop, fall, I breath my lungs accept the air then inhale and exhale I can't open my eyes, I want to see him again I want to find out who it was that took him from us, how I am suddenly alive, Peeta I can hear Peeta saying my name I force open my eyes he picks me up and hugs me tells me he loves me I close my eyes again partly in exhaustion and partly in relief and Fennic tells me to stay awake for as long as possible to let my body process what has happened and what is happening now.
Chapter 23 Nadinear
Thank god she is ok she is alive and responding, Prim, she doesn't know yet she is in her room now because people began coming in to support us so I excuse myself and walk upstairs to Katniss's room she isn't there I go in to the unfinished nursery where she lays on the small window seat crying and repeating it's all my fault she looks up and sees how red my eyes are "she ok she is ok Prim, Peeta has her now and is looking after her!"
"Really she is ok was it Daddy who made her ok?"
"No it was your sister being strong for you she will be home soon there is only eleven people left and they are stuck ok, she will be fine now I promise" she nods in understanding I shouldn't promise this sort of thing but what else are you supposed to do but she is fine, for now
Chapter 24 Haymich
Thank god, if she died I would lose three people in one arena one Katniss, two the baby, three Peeta but of course he would be alive but dead at the same time without her but she is ok and now the plan on my part needs to get underway and I know what I now have to do to get them all out, alive.
Chapter 25 Katniss
We make camp in the out skirts of the jungle Peeta and I sit down "how did I get knocked out earlier?" I ask
"Katniss you weren't just knocked out you were dead! For half an hour you walked in to the force field and got shocked, your heart gave up, we were keeping you alive and breathing for you - well Fennic was I was crying and slipping into shock when you started to come round. You askes who it was that took you from us and how you are suddenly alive; what was all that about?" he asks so I think really hard and remember seeing my Dad and him telling me about how it wasn't an accident and how he just walked away and then I began to breath like his spirit came inside of mine to breath when mine wouldn't its mad and unexplainable
"I saw my Dad when I was in a white tunnel, he was at the end wanting me to choose whether to live or not to he knew what I have been feeling for the past six years before I did, it was guilt, I have felt guilty for the mine explosion-"
"I thought it was a mine collapse that killed your Dad!?"
"I remember thinking that it wasn't when the survivors were coming out. They were coated with ash and looked too shocked because my Dad told me how to work these things out. My Dad was talking to me Peeta and call me crazy but he was! He was in the mining clothes he died in; he said he was next to the man who deliberately started the fire. He got burnt along with that man and two others I'm guessing and he was in the same tunnel I was in faced with the same choice but he chose to die to look after us he was scared we might get frightened by his burns and so we could move on with our lives, he walked away down the tunnel and then turned to say I love you, then he left that is when I began to breath like he made the choice I wanted for my body it's like he came inside of me to help me breath" I say feeling slightly stupid "silly isn't it"
"No it's amazing you can remember it and that's why you asked those two questions isn't it?" I nod "Please can you tell me about those days when your Dad taught you to swim please"
"When I was six my Dad decided that I should also learn to swim I had already learnt to hunt and was getting good at it so for five years, every day we would do that but my Mum didn't approve just like the song he used to sing me and I sing to Prim now I know why she disapproved so badly, they are words of rebellion and it is agenised the law to swim that is an act of rebellion but he taught me anyways in the woods, I was found swimming once when I was ten by myself in the woods just after he died so I got two penalties that day, like I cared three weeks after he died, I had better things to worry about. anyways there is a little house there we built and we would get changed there and warm up by the fire and get something to eat, well a few yards away there is a lake and he taught me to swim there, he used to say kick your legs and keep kicking then join in your hands that was what he called tummy stroke because you do it on your tummy then he taught me chin stroke because your head only comes out the water to your chin after you have glided he used to give a rhyme for what to do with your feet you would pull your legs in then make your feet smile with your heels together and your toes apart then kick your legs out so it went in, smile, out and for your hands and arms you draw a love heart that's the easy bit he would say but then he died and I promised Prim that when she is thirteen will take her in to the woods for the first proper time when she was six a few months before he died we took her in to the woods to teach her how to hunt, not the best idea she cried every time we shot it at the finish she took our bows off us and told us off like she was our Mother but that never stopped us. Besides when it had been plucked and cooked she seemed to forget that it was a living thing once upon a time so really I learnt everything off my Dad and I will teach her when she was a bit older like thirteen so she can do what I used to do with our Dad" and I smile at Peeta's astonishment
"That's amazing, who taught him to swim and hunt?"
"My Grandad"
"Wow and now you have taught me to swim and we can teach the baby and I think I'll leave the hunting bit for you, please" he says laughing and then Peeta puts his hand on my bump only then I realise that the world is watching us. Just then, in that normal moment, the parachute comes down and lands in front of us I grab it and cracks it open, the label reads
Good to have you back Katniss and the clue is in the trees
-H
The exact layout as the first games, computerized, inside I look to find a funny looking metal thing the clue is in the trees but I have seen this before I just don't know where I show Peeta and he look puzzled "it's to get water I can remember that but I don't know how to get that in to the tree" I laugh racking my brain to find out how to get it in to the tree
"Stab the tree with the knife and get the thing in then use the container as the cup" Peeta is an absolute genius of course that is how to do it
I rouse Fennic and Gemma and they come to watch as we pierce the tree with my knife and stick the piece of equipment in and watch the water trickle down the metal in to the container Peeta goes first then Gemma then Fennic then me. I can feel the cold water trickle down my dry throat.
Fennic and Gemma take the next watch as we go to sleep Peeta sleeps like usual one hand around my waist and the other on my tummy in case anything is shot at us it will go in to his hand not my tummy or our baby, not like that will do much because there is millions of places they could get it in or if you are like me with tricks you could actually get it under his hand without him even realising it. I go to sleep later on and fall deeper in to a dreamless sleep knowing that when I wake I will have Peeta beside me.
Chapter 26 The rebellions plan's (Indi)
"We plan to take over the game maker's headquarters starting with ground work this section covers the whole landscape of the arena from where to put trees to where the lakes should go and the key element what happens with the ground for example floods, droughts, earthquakes also the weather section is related to the condition of the landscape but we are more focused on the earthquake factor as we all found out there is a force field around the whole perimeter and the ceiling like a snow globe well we had a man sent to the Capitol to analyse this force field and he discovered that it stops at the ground like a wall therefor meaning that we could destroy the field completely but we had to figure out a way to do so without being discovered so we need the facility of the ground works to cover us we can use the earthquake to open the circuit that has formed between the ground and the field or in other words to separate one half of the circuit from the source of the electrical current destroying the boundary and let them walk free right but they will be captured so we need to get our hands on a airship to safely transport them to thirteen and straight in to hiding but we need to time it so when the ship comes it is night in the Capitol and so the force field has not been repaired this needs to be done in a five hour time frame so the quake ends at say twelve o'clock we need to have the ship there at one thirty to make it out of the Capitol unseen but we need to eliminate the game makers completely otherwise they will repair the destructions so we need to get this done now. Haymich is Katniss's and Peeta's mentor he will inform the necessary within the games it will not look suspicious him sending notes in parachutes. We need to work in groups which Sealena will allocate you to, now this may seem pointless to try and get out some victors but Katniss and Peeta are more powerful then all of you put together they are the true rebellion leaders now and the allies will help with aid so we need to get them out before the rebellion can progress any further we are transporting more rebels from the defence line to help with this operation but from here on out Haymich is the one who will be the leader on Katniss's and Peeta's behalf" she says "and for those who don't know the base will be here in the underground remains of thirteen I am the president, Indi, this will work if we just believe it will we fly tomorrow morning to start the interception of power, meeting objurned you are dismissed"
Chapter 27
As we wake its mid night Fennic is standing in front of us, it's our turn to take watch so we walk over to the tree where we have full view of the beach and the jungle it is beginning to get a bit misty and the tied is rising fast but we are sure we are far enough up the hill to be safe from the rising tide so my mind at rest I cuddle in to Peeta and sit alert, the cannon goes and the mist still tumbles in "is there something strange about that mist or is it just me?" he asks
"I don't know" just then our questions are answered as we start to choke when the mist comes to us and the cannon fires again we have to move. FAST
"Fennic, Gemma move, wake up we have to go now or we will die the mist is poisons MOVE!" we yell they wake and begin to move with us then as they wake up whey start to run, we are running away from the force field and straight in to the mist, it stings, it burns actually I can feel the blisters forming on my body all over me and there is nothing I can do don't scratch I can remember my Mum telling me when I was young and had the scratch spots these are similar but more itchy we get to the sea and take no hesitation to dive in and sooth the itching but it stings we all just float in the water for a while then get out and ley on the beach "why did they want us here"
"How'd they know we would come here we could have gone anywhere we wanted" Gemma snarls at me.
"She right, actually it cleared away as soon as we got to the beach, that is no coincidence they wanted us here for a reason but I don't understand why" Fennic says to Gemma.
"TICK tock TICK tock" who is saying that? We look around and spot Beete and Wirus walking around delirious saying it over and over again. I run to help then "it's a tick tock we are in a tick tock!" Beete says
"What" I say puzzled
"This arena is a clock every time something bad happens it is at a certain time, see, in a hour something will happen the cornucopia is moving now but we don't notice it" Wirus is the sane one of the duo
"How do you two know that?" Gemma snarls at them now, must be because we woke her up
"We have watched the 'time' let's just say"
"Ok" she say a little dismissively and we all walk up the hill a little bit to make a new camp in the trees it is darker in the woods and it is getting late and cold
"I'll get some wood" I say
"No, I'll go" Peeta protests
"Peeta I'm fine and I won't go far I promise"
"I'll come to then I don't trust the game makers they will do something I know it"
"Would you like me to come have a bit of girl time and talk about the baby and the wedding!?" Gemma asks and smiles sweetly at me and I nod looking at Peeta slightly amazed she has changed her tune
"Peeta's right just wait a couple of hours and then go because if Wirus is right and something is going to happen in a hour it's better to be in a pack than on your own so wait a while then go with Gemma instead" Fennic suggests and Gemma smiles approvingly at me and I smile back.
Chapter 28
"Any second now ok" I go and stand next to Peeta and he holds my hand and Gemma stands beside me and Fennic in front beside Wirus, Beete, where is Beete
"Where did Beete go" I ask Peeta squeezing his hand
"I don't know I thought he was with Wirus ask him" Peeta says looking right at me and smiling
"What" I ask
"You are unbelievable Mrs Malark although you are in an arena to die you are still concerned about others" Peeta says and kisses me on the lips then hugs me "I love you more than you know" he whispers in my ear sending a shiver down my spine
"It's time get ready" Wirus announces and Peeta releases his grasp on my waist so I draw an arrow and ready my bow
"PEETA" I shout alarmed "The ground is moving and it's cracking"
"We need to get away from the force field quickly before it explodes and also the trees!" Wirus says
"Gemma take Katniss me and Peeta will stay together Wirus you take beet- where's Beete?"
"She had a wish" Gemma say leaving it at that and grabs my hand and we start to run-fast" how many weeks are you now then" she asks as we run I take it that is the girl talk not like I have ever had one before
"three months and three weeks " I say smiling then she pushes me to the shaking ground and sits on me she draws out a knife and begins to cut my neck but I can't scream my throat will not allow me to then she moves down her hand to my stomach and cuts into it where the baby is, now I scream in agony and worry what is she doing I thought she was an ally but instead she is trying to kill my baby come on Dad help me, Then she gets up casually and offers me her hand and shows me two metallic devices one surrounded by a blue liquid
"You'll thank me for this they knocked you out on the plane to insert a tracker to the baby without you knowing but I was immune to the sedative when everyone else wasn't so I played unconscious and saw what they did" she says as we begin to run again, the shaking is getting stronger now and she continues "It was in case the baby was born in the arena but this tracker is different as soon as you went in to labour it would meet air and this tracker would detonate and spread the poison through you and in to the baby's blood stream but you however, it wouldn't affect you, have been made immune to it. This quake is part of the rebellion they are coming for us that was why we have to be up the mountain so we are sheltered from this thing I heard them talking on the ship things have been put in place to kill the baby by making you go in to labour early Fennic is going to tell Peeta!" and passes me some cloth "we have to get to the other side of the arena by the time the quake is finished we need to be up that mountain, ok"
"Thank you but did you have to cut all the way through and in to the baby?"
"No it was in the inside of your flesh." Oww how very kind of them not to hurt my baby how considerate, gits!
Chapter 29 Peeta
I said I wouldn't let her out of my sight and so far she has been gone almost one whole day and the quake is getting worse. The trek up here was pretty rough we walked a few miles and then Fennic got my tracker cut out so they couldn't track us but we are still being watched by the cameras that are already there. Then he tells me this "we were all knocked out on the air ship but Gemma was immune to the sedative and overheard and saw them inject a special sort of tracker into Katniss's stomach where the baby is this tracker when it comes in to contact with oxygen it detonates a poison in to the baby's blood stream and it will kill the baby. We need to be up the mountain before the next obstacle as this is what will make her go into labour early we think but they don't know where we are in the arena anymore Gemma and I cut out our trackers straight away but left yours in to fool them they think your still where we were when the trackers were cut out hopefully redirecting the device to make her go into labour but your two trackers are in two different places hopefully confusing them long enough to buy Katniss and Gemma more time to get up the mountain because let's face it Katniss isn't in any fit state to sprint up a mountain like a rocket with two deep cuts, also being up the mountain will hopefully protect her from the next device being up here will help the plan as well which even I don't know what it is yet I am just following instructions. Now Peeta, Gemma has cut out the baby's device but Peeta there could be a chance that if it isn't removed fast enough that the device could come in to contact before Gemma can get it out of Katniss's flesh but we have to take that chance or it will die for certain as soon as it is born I am so sorry but she will try her best" I need to find her I need to find Katniss and I need to punch someone , where is Ben when you need him, but I can't take in the fact that this baby has been brought in to the claws of the Capitol and if Gemma hadn't been immune it would have died as would have Katniss." We pick up the pace a little but the question is why we weren't allowed to as a pack and just thrown the trackers in different places?
"Why did we all have to split up?" I ask
"So you couldn't see the tracker being cut out we have done it so Katniss was almost tricked in to it so it happened so fast she couldn't object and nor could you and also so the trackers weren't close together so they were confused as to which one is Katniss and which is you hopefully buying her more time to get up the mountain in her current condition" and finally Fennic says "we all have to get up the mountain in two hours or she will in all likely hood be taken by the quake this quake is the work of Haymich it is a sign, he has been sending me parachutes with just instructions and explanations on and told me not to let you and Katniss in for your own protection and they must be destroyed completely" and as we get to the top it is clear that Katniss and Gemma are not here yet. What if they have been swallowed up by the holes. If I die get the baby out them words keep whizzing round my head and why are these people our ally's, why did I let my family land in the predicament in the first place, why did I allow myself to make a family in the first place. How could I ever let myself think that I would be immune to the games when my child wouldn't be I am so selfish! I'm ok she is the one taking on the responsibility to carry a child. Not me. She could die and her blood would be on my hands and I love her too much and I will torture myself until she is in my arms again. I really love her.
Chapter 30 Haymich
"So far I have got the rebels on our side and they have got control of the ground section within the game makers, idea being that we can get to the allied tributes fast. But the interception is taking longer than Indi and I anticipated and we have been held up at the engineering section to remove all ways of tracking from the ships as we will use three ships one will take us from thirteen to district five then another to the mountain on the border and another to the arena and then the same technique on the way back and destroy the navigation system from the mains but it is harder than we thought to connect to a new secure transitions receiver line without being tracked so we are flying blind complicating the situation further plus we have with timing issue as we only have a hour window where it is safe to fly from the border to the arena and back in the blind dark so we are relaying on the pilots to get us there and back on their sharp instincts and past experiences its almost eleven thirty and we need to be in five by eleven fifty four but we are waiting for the signal off the air ways ship to say no other Capitol ships are flying before we can take flight but I'm so glad I was allocated the rescue ship so I can see them and tell them about the rebellion, to say you can both be parents to the baby like I promise you would I'm so glad.
Chapter 31 Gemma
I do feel sorry for them they thought they could move on with their lives but they couldn't. When Fennic announced that they would have to be split up Peeta looked so…. defensive like he didn't want to let her out of his sight for more than a second the two are joined at the hip practically and both seem happy that way that is why I guess I agreed to this whole alliship plan because I feel sorry for them. Fennic knew that we had to near closer to the mountain but we couldn't go there straight away he said because if we stayed there too long they would put something in place to move us on- to keep it interesting but that could mean we were thrown miles off track. Fennic gaged the distance and worked it all out to a T with the help of Haymich and my job is to get Katniss to the mountain in two hours after the checkpoint that Fennic laid out clearly with bits of cloth from his clothes tied to trees, and I have.
We see the bottom of the mountain as we run even though the urgency of an earthquake and the time cap runs through my blood we both remain calm as we run and we begin the incline fast and then she spots him on the other side propped up against the tree and sprints to the top and I follow. Fennic spots us too.
"PEETA!" She screams happily at the sight of him but Fennic locks eyes with me and shoots an urgent looks at me and runs to her me closely behind him as we restrain her, he blocks her view "What's wrong I want to see Peeta let me go what's happened to him tell me" she weeps and Fennic nods to me and we release our grasp on her and she runs to his side "Peeta …. PEETA, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO HIM?"
"He was hit over the head by a rock that was blown from the force field when it exploded, Katniss I'm sorry" Fennic says and she breaks down in tears so he takes her to one side.
Chapter 32 Peeta
How much I would give to open my eyes and see her bump to see her face to hug her to see if she is ok but I can't I'm trapped under promises and love for her and I'm not about to compromise her safety for my comfort no I'm going to do it, I'm going to be dead for as long as it takes for her to get a ensured safety and I hope he tells her with the note not just his words, someone she can trust, someone she knows words.
Chapter 33 Katniss
He hands me a scrap of paper, my fiancé has just died the Father to my child has just died and he hands me a scrap of paper but he wants me to read it so I do it says, handwritten too;
Dear Katniss,
I'm sorry for all the secrecy but it is necessary we, aka the rebels, thirteen and I have an escape plan figured out and to do so we needed to throw the game makers and Snow off track and make them think Peeta has died through they own actions and the rebels will have no reason to rebel any more without a leader I will explain the rest later just hang fire all will become clear, daed yllaer t'nsi ateep Fennic will explain
-H
Fennic hands me a pen out of the case attached to the parachute "write it out back to front" he smiles at me apologetically as he says it and I follow, it takes a while but it reads Peeta isn't really dead and I let out a sigh of relief and Fennic squats beside me and takes the pen and writes tiny in the corner; play along until we don't and I nod in understanding and I crawl over to were Peeta lies and get a hold of his hand and rub it over my tummy so he can feel it and his arm tenses slightly but his body remains still so I lay next to him mimicking his body shape and place his limp hand on my belly the way he dose usually and I fall asleep next to him and after a while I feel something being placed over us its soft and warm but I can't open my eyes just yet I want it to stay peaceful and romantic forever like back home and Fennic and Gemma don't disturb me they leave me alone to 'grieve'.
Chapter 34 Indi
The plane left a few minutes ago and the others last night to reach the allocated destination in time for the change. The ships aren't the best but they'll do, they fly and they are Capitol, they fit in well enough and Katniss is doing an excellent job at being practically dead over the loss of Peeta and he is doing equally amazing at playing dead l know what he is thinking and how he is feeling how desperate he is to see her but he is staying strong for her, to let us get to them and Haymich is a good mentor he is filling them in on what is happening without it being obvious he chose his allies well Fennic is clever he understands the codes and he is good with common knowledge he knew how to time the lie of Peeta's death and link it to the failing of the force field and us we made it look like a fault on the Capitols part not ours causing more anger among the rebels so much so that the new head game maker has killed himself before Snow kills him. It was on the news in the Capitol because Haymich sent me a message over the radio after seeing the news broadcast on the ship from the boarder to the arena this means that we weren't flying so blind after all, the Capitol have their own satellite signal to the districts but they can control what we watch so we probably could have watched the broadcast but we are trying to refrain from using up energy on the telly when we could be using it to help make fuel for the ships or the radio or the hospital or the ovens something that will help us out in the long run because we are not even supposed to be alive, thirteen was destroyed so we had to begin to generate electricity and my uncle found a way to make the sun and heat in to electricity and use rain water instead of using the old water pipe from twelve to thirteen because it is dirty, with these inventions we have built a Capitol proof underground city with our energy sources and catchers being fed through miles deep ground and in to a nuclear attack proof building so, it's pretty invincible but only if it remains a secrete we are very strict with who we let in and who we let out and we have few rules but the ones that are in place are to be abided by if they aren't the offender will be dealt with. We are determined people us rebels and once something is in the leaders heads they will be done just like Otto she had one goal and that was to defeat the Capitol if it meant dying just to get the message out then so be it well that was what my Grandmother was like she was in power after Otto and she had the same ambitions as her so much so that Otto told Grandmother the plan before she volunteered in that child's place and when she plans to begin the rebellion the time that she felt right to begin it but lots of people called her a cowered and other mean names that were not true they thought she gets them in to a single district move of rebellion against the Capitol and then goes in to an arena to die and get away from it all my Grandmother became the leader through knowledge as she was the only one who new Otto's plans and how they could win this up rise but only a quarter of the district agreed to help and sat back and watched as the place was blown up but the plan would have worked with a bit of tweaking and if people had have listened Otto's brother and sister who helped to design the plan and were willing to explain it but no one would give them the common curtsey to listen my Gran did and wrote it all down so in years to come it could be tried again in be hope that their failure will motivate the rest of the district that someone will come along and have that strength and motive that Otto did and instead of one person we have three, Katniss, Peeta and their baby but they know how to win the games and we know how to get them out put our knowledge, idea's and the current rebellion together and we will have ourselves a full scale rebellion.
Chapter 35 Fennic
I receive another letter form Haymich telling me they are about one hour away from the arena and to tell Katniss and wait until the ship comes into sight before waking Peeta I just finish reading the letter when Gemma comes and stands beside me reading it over my shoulder I pass it to her and walk over to where Katniss sleeps in Peeta's arms and carefully shake her until she wakes up she looks straight into my eyes "we have something to show you come with me" and I help her up and we walk over to where Gemma stands and she passes her the note and she reads it then she looks up at the sky she is clearly up to the bit wait until the ship comes in to sight before waking Peeta she is so clearly desperate to wake Peeta up and see his eyes and hear his voice but then her eyes drop back to the page and she finishes reading it then passes it back to me and I burn it in the little camp fire just like Haymich said to and after that we all sit down and wait for the first sign of the ship.
Chapter 36 Katniss
We all sit around Peeta in the dark when we hear it and I jump but Fennic puts his hand on my knee and shakes his head and points to his eyes but we all stand up to watch as it comes in from the west, it is dark but we can just about see the dim lights of the control panels I look at Fennic and he nods so I shake Peeta and we shout they are here they have come to get us and he opens his blue eyes and looks at me "come on we have to hurry come on get up!" and he stands up and I hug him tightly and say "It's nice to have a proper hug!" and I smile
"We are going to both be parents then we are going home!" he says
"Not home exactly, district thirteen will have to do" Fennic says and I just nod, I'm too busy looking at Peeta to say anything "here it comes" he says as it begins to loose altitude and we see Haymich slide open the door
"You'll have to be quick we need to hurry" he shouts over the sound of chopping blades, the ship lands on the grass and we jump up on to the ledge and take a seat readying ourselves for take-off I go and sit next to Haymich
"Thank you how did you do it? You're amazing!"
"With the help of thirteen and now you have your own army of rebels who all believe in you and Peeta and now you are out we need to get you into the remains of thirteen in the bunkers, your families are there now along with some of the other willing rebels" then he says "we can kill Snow now when you say the Capitol can't hide anymore they are outnumbered some of their own people have turned on them and joined the rebellion!"
"Thank you Haymich" and I cross the ship and ley across the metallic Benches and rest my head on Peeta's knees, he strokes my hair and I fall asleep.
Chapter 37
When Peeta wakes me we are above thirteen and preparing for landing so I sit up and put my seatbelt on, the light turn off and I feel my tummy go funny as we begin to drop, my ears pop like when you go too far down into water but this feeling is different as the loud roar of the engines and the chopping of the blades is unmistakeable. The landing was smooth as the stilts touch down on the ground; I unpop my ears and unfasten my seatbelt to stand. The door slides open moments later and we file off Haymich, me, Peeta, Gemma and then Fennic we all walk along the ash covered path above ground "I thought it was underground" I say looking at the massive tin building before me that we are heading towards so I quickly look around at the surroundings it's bare not a building in sight and apart from the odd tree there is no nature and the ground is uneven with maybe some rubble here and there and the big metal building. The ground is a bed of trodden in ash so it's true that the Capitol had fun destroying this place it is – well – barren.
"This is the defence tower and the control station but this is also bullet proof the whole place is radioactive and attack proof so you are safe, it is also very hard to locate" Haymich replies unusually chirpy
"It doesn't look it!" I whisper to Peeta and he giggles
As we walk to the metallic doors holding hands we are stopped by a guard until Haymich steps in "These are the people that you lot have just risked your god damn lives for but yet you don't know what they look like" that's him back to his usual delightful self and the guard steps back immediately and points to the lift door nodding at him Haymich escorts Fennic, Gemma, Peeta and I to it the lift arrives almost straight away, the doors jerk open and we step in , I watch Haymich press for level thirty nine of ninety five- wow that is a lot of rooms, the doors jam shut and I get the funny tummy feeling I felt on the helicopter. I lift up my chin from his chest to look up at Peeta's face. It looks concerned and he has me wrapped up in his warm arms but I don't get the chance to ask why because the doors open abruptly and we find ourselves in a very large room with chairs all facing a large stage with a couple of seats on it accompanied with a microphone . I spot Prim and run to her, scoop her up and hug her
"I thought you had died Katniss and then Peeta died too I'm so sorry Katniss" she says, she obviously hadn't seen us escape but of course not it was dark and she would have been in bed
So I stand up and she sees Peeta standing with his two brothers, he is shaking their hands and being petted on the back no doubt a boy's way of congratulating him. Prim runs over to him and he picks her up, she winds her arms around his neck I walk over and receive hugs of his brothers James and Ben. They congratulate me, normally, then Prim goes and stands between them , they both seem to make a fuss of her, then Peeta's Mum joins us and after all those years after she hit Peeta I have thought she was a witch but she is actually not. She also hugs me and then goes to look for my Mum
"She considers you her daughter" James tells me
"How do you know?" I ask him
"Because she told us" and Prim nods as dose Ben "And we consider you and Prim our sisters" and he smiles
"Where's Dad?" Peeta asks his brothers
"He is in the bakery still back in twelve lots of people stayed" Ben tells him
"You mean he isn't going to be part of it?!" Prim says butting in, so I glare at her mortified
"PRIM, stay out of it, this is not our place come on, show me around a little" I say looking at Peeta and he nods
"See you back here then" he says and we kiss, she leads me off to meet some of the people who are in the room
"Well that is George he works in the infirmary with Mummy and that is Sealena she helps Indi oo you should meet Indi she is really nice-." she trails off suddenly looking confused "Katniss how are you and Peeta here with that boy and girl?"
"This Indi and Haymich made a plan to get us out, they had three ships and sent Fennic; that boy, messages on how to keep Peeta and I alive but to be quite honest I don't know anymore that that oo and Peeta was never dead but I was" and her eyes fill up with tears "hey, hey Prim stop it I'm here now and I'm ok so don't worry I know how horrible it must have been but I'm here right now sitting next to you" and I pull her in close to me
She put her hand on my tummy "Is the baby ok?"
"Yeah because Fennic kept me alive and Gemma cut out the bad tracker that was put in without me knowing another long story, but Prim everything will be fine now, for a while, and do you honestly think that if we thought anything different Peeta would be so calm about it, the time we need to start worrying is when it is born, look Prim, Peeta and I will do everything to look after you and our baby and I'm sure Peeta's brothers will do the same I promise you" and I hug her in again and she winders her hands around my back.
"Katniss" a small frail voice says beside me "oh Katniss are you ok" it's my Mother.
"Yeah I'm fine are you?"
"Never mind me Katniss I thought you had died then a miracle happened but then Peeta died too Katniss I'm so sorry" she also obviously hadn't saw.
"Mum, Peeta's not dead look he is over there, Mum I'm sorry I never told you before that I'm pregnant" why I said that I do not know I mean when do I really tell her anything, that would be never "and it wasn't very nice how you found out either I'm sorry" and I hug her, well I need to try to forget what happened I need to choose to mask it and forget it, if only it were that simple but then again I think that she might have changed, she isn't spaced out anymore and she is getting back to normal and helping others in the process so I am growing to love her again.
"Katniss its fine but how are you here I-I don't understand?"
"We were rescued by Haymich and Indi and a load of Peeta and mines rebels that is all I know I'm guessing that is what this is all about"
"Yes it is" Haymich says joining us
"This is Haymich Mum I don't think you have met"
"Nice to meet you I'm Nadinear"
"Hay- mick- No-Hamick" I can tell by his voice that he is drunk but how we have been here twenty minutes, how?
"Thank you for saving Katniss and Peeta I'm very grateful"
"It wasn't just me I don't think, thug, but thangs anwel" it doesn't really make sense but you know what he means and he staggers off looking confused making Prim giggle
"He won't have any recollection of that convosation it about two minutes" I say, sending me and Prim into giggles as my Mother walks away to help weal patients in from the infirmary, our queue, a short beep, tells us we need take our allocated seats and of course Peeta and I get front row seats along with James and Ben.
"How come Prim doesn't get to sit with us but a whole load of strangers can" Peeta whispers in my ear
"She is sitting down here" I say looking mischievously and Peeta grins as I wave her down she comes and I sit her on my knee even though she is probably blocking someone's view, but obviously we are the stars of the show considering we are the leaders, apparently.
"Prim come sit on the floor in front of me" Peeta says and she looks at me then slides onto the floor and Peeta plays gently with her long blond hair weaving it in and out of his fingers, his eyes fixed to a spot on the stage where the microphone stand is when a lady comes to the stage, she stands directly behind the stand and I look at her, she has chocolate brown long hair that falls neatly to her stomach and her fringe clearly irritating her as much as me, she repeatedly swooshes' it back, for it just to fall back in to place (mental note give her one of my hair clips), she is small and very thin with long legs and about my Mums age maybe a little younger about thirty six or thirty seven in mid thought Peeta nudges me and we look at Ben who appears to be mesmerised by this lady who is very pretty and way too old for him, he is nineteen and she is in her late thirty's-early fourty and Prim also looks and giggles making me giggle, Peeta tries to stop us and also ends up letting out a slight chuckle until James shuts us up after all he is the oldest, he is twenty one, but Prim has her fist in her mouth trying not to laugh. I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder looking straight at the lady as she begins
"Hello I'm president Indi for those who don't know- oh we seem to be missing someone" and she looks at Haymich's empty chair
"Oww I doubt he will be attending as he is, how do you say it – not himself" I speak up so she can continue, my voice is the only one that you can hear so it stands out and I nod at Indi and she seems to understand but Prim lets out a very slight giggle so I put my hand over her mouth and smile sarcastically at the president
"Ok then moving on I think we should first tell everyone what we are aiming to achieve with this rebellion so Katniss, Peeta would you like to come up and explain?" well just, you know throw us in the deep end I know nothing about it but I can't exactly say no but the word is on the tip of my tongue, Peeta looks at me and my reply, a nod, that is all I can manage so I get up and he steps over Prim and I think back, as we walk up to the stage, to my brief talk with Haymich about the rebellion, not really much help, once I get started I'm sure I will be fine and if all else fails Peeta can finish it he is good at all this thinking on his feet stuff, I begin
"Well this rebellion is to kill the games and Snow" yeah good start, get straight to the point and I think back briefly but continue swiftly, names, I need a name. "Otto Newman had this rebellion figured out almost perfectly but her plans were destroyed, we can't use her plan anymore, why?, the Capitol can easily predict our movements that was the one fault with her plan they we predictable and straight forward therefor we need to have lots of back up plans for each mission and a Plan B all consisting of diversions, codes, false dummy info and tricks, the plan will be thought through shortly, I hope, then we can get it underway but to do so we need to get the word out to people who we can trust but other than that I think we should go back to normal to keep it low key, now I'm not saying go back to work just be present, we can fly aid to anyone who is in need back to your originating districts until the plan is made" I look at Prim and she smiles, she is sitting in front of James now "we all have our strengths no matter how old you are and we need to put them all together. For example Haymich although he may sometimes be a drunken mess, he has contacts in the Capitol, he is quick and he will help make the plan, my sister Prim she is an twelve year old doctor she is also very clever and supportive, James, Ben and Peeta are strong, brave, fast and quick thinkers, Wirus he can make a bomb out of virtually anything they, him and Beete, can spot things no one else would have and more importantly they can intercept transmitions, they have experience in the Capitol, him and Beete are out there now working on it . Even our prep teams have a gift that will help us" I notice them at the back looking particularly flattered "all of these things will help us in some way, shape or form and I believe this can work and Indi is the one that will truly make that happen regardless if Peeta and I are the leaders" I look at Peeta and step back.
"It's like Katniss said we are going to make this work and we have lots of people to help us but we need more but we can't hand out posters it must be done civilised and in secret to people you know you can trust otherwise we will be discovered and the plan ruined we need to work as a team I know this might sound selfish but before we went in to the arena two weeks ago we were told that not only are we in danger so is our unborn child and if not more danger" this cause a corruption of emotions and sympathy but go on Peeta just tell everyone some of whom might not have heard that I am, pregnant, but the more the merrier and I'm seriously thinking of back tracking my last compliment of; good at thinking on his feet, I find my Mums face in the crowd she is right at the back and she looks at me almost in tears then I find Prim amongst the eruption and she kneeling up with her back to me her arms around James and he has his arms around her because I didn't tell her which I probably should have this wasn't in the invisible script of imagination but Peeta's explanation, yeah, pretty much nailed it and as the noise dampens down he begins again "Now. we now know what it must have felt like for all those other parents who thought their child might be put in an arena and now we know that feeling we don't want one more parent to feel that so we will finish what Otto started for the same reasons as we are BUT this time it will work and I will not stop fighting this until my last breath – until I know my child will not have to go through what we did. Most of you have been lucky not to have been chosen but we have and that will stay with us forever. That has made us even stronger we will win this" he finishes with a thank you and I do the same then we leave the stage and return to our seats and Prim cuddles in between me and Peeta shaking
"well done" she whispers and I smile a thank you to her and rest my head on her shoulder listening to Indi echoing what we just said almost word for word, I find Peeta's hand, we hold hands behind Prim until she dismisses everyone … But us and I don't think it is to offer tea and biscuits. "Katniss, Peeta I don't know how you did it but you certainly got their attention, Katniss how do you know all of this about Otto and the plan, it has saved a lot of time?" she questioned surprising me
"our currently drunk mentor told me all about the rebellion on the plane and that I can end the games and Snow life whenever I want and before the games I pieced together little bits of knowledge like the dressing room doors still having thirteen-one and thirteen-two on the other and bits of history like that who was the past Capitol presidents and things like that, stuff my Dad taught me, he was a rebel too, it was like a jigsaw but then he told us that we were the leaders and the baby was in more danger than us and stuff like that and Indi how did you work out a plan like that in a week or less Haymich told us that it all depended on you agreeing and that his plan mightn't be suitable so how did you do it, it's amazing!?" "That plan was the work of Haymich and Fennic we just agreed to join your rebellion and provide you with our facilities, we will help you and protect you and your families. Peeta, Katniss don't you realise that you are in a rebel's eye their leaders, their gods you have more power than me Snow or and head of district put together you can start it and you can end it as you wish but this sort of power comes with a cost and this bunker is the work of three generations of my ancestors who were president and building this place was the end to them, now, I have let you have full access to whatever you want, you choose, but my conditions are:
1) You leave me as president with all my duties
2) You keep the location a secret
3) I kill, Snow"
"I agree to all of them but the last one you can be heads and I'll be tails with Peeta, ok, and deal?"
"No I kill him full stop"
"Do we have a deal or do we just leave and you can deal with it yourselves without a leader, it is in your hands the coin or nothing!"
"Agreed" and we shake hands on it. James, Ben, Prim and Peeta for that matter all look dazed by it all as she walks away looking shocked well that or embarrassed by the fact a seventeen year old won a deal to kill someone well all I can say to that is… HA!
"She can throw a deal and she can negotiate with Indi god I can't even bargan an extra five minutes in bed never mind who wants to kill Snow" he laughs putting his arm around my shoulders
"Just because you can't get a girl your own age don't mean you go after your little brothers girlfriend" Ben says play fighting with his older brother
"Fiancé" Peeta adds in kissing me then after a while we walk to the lift holding hands where Indi awaits us. "we have you sharing a bunker plus the bed in your family's compartments, Katniss your family are on floor seventy two room five hundred and fifty eight and haymich is in the other room and Peeta your parents are on floor eighty one and compartment five hundred and fourty one, your brothers are in five hundred fourty two you are on floor eighty one with me and it's compartment five hundred and sixty, it's one of the biggest and has a en-suit ,ok, you'll find a timetable on the wall this applies to both of you and must be followed prosily if you wish to spend some time back home in twelve you are welcome to do so given I have been informed the day before, ok, if you fail to compile with these rules you will be punished severely ok" I think she has an addiction to the word 'ok'
"Ok" we agree partly winding her up and step in to the lift and press the button together and then kiss again until we stiffly reach floor eighty one as the door open, the air, I notice is different it is thinner than before on floor thirty nine and we see ours first then Indi's we stop at room five hundred and sixty, we open up the door with the brass key Indi gave us. The metallic door opened inwards and we walk in. The room is bare but the bed looks comfy I look at the bare metallic, gray walls with no windows, the two small wardrobes each filled with khaki uniforms and the desk a dressing table and comfy chair the ceiling is also bear with a bright light dangling from it.
"well it isn't like back home but we could paint it I think cream with red flowers it will be really nice I'm sure and I'm glad we can go home any time we want we can finish the nursery as long as we let her know the day before, but what will we do when we are here we will need a nursery here to unless we put it on wheels " I laugh as dose Peeta I go and sit on the bed then lay down my head on the pillow while Peeta looks at the timetable
"We have a free afternoon today and tomorrow to do whatever we want so we could start painting and maybe get a new crib for here too I mean we will probably be here more than there"
"Or we could just put it in this bed with us because I'm sure Indi will appreciate a cluttered room and a redecorated room!" he laughs and lies on the bed facing me holding hands like back home but things like that can't last in my life and a shirking siren peeress through me, Indi's voice begins to whale enemy attack repeat enemy attack and a phone on the desk begins to ring, Peeta gets up, followed by me and we walk over hand in hand to the phone I place one hand on top of my bump as we listen to her
"Hello?" Peeta asks
"Get up to floor five now both you and Katniss use the lift in your room" and Peeta takes the phone from his ear but we can both still hear her shouting voice
"Where is the lift in our room?" he replies
"Look at the wall between the wardrobes and close it behind you, now, we will be taking all the air out that low down underground so you'll have to hurry!
"Ok" and he leads me to the wardrobes and pulls a handle, we clime in he turns the key beside floor fives button then presses it as I close the metallic thick door, we shoot up faster than the other lifts go all the way to five then the door slides open and Indi ushers us into a hold where we meet our family's. The hold is no bigger than a small shed but we all fit in "what is going on" Peeta asks his arms circled round my waist and his hand resting on my bump. "How did they find us?"
"They haven't this happens, they come drop bombs and go but of course we are safe underground but this is just a safety precaution and we pressurise so the radiation can't get in and we filter our oxygen supply too that is why your all so low underground eighty one being the lowest for bedrooms and then another fourteen after that they are all where we put offenders, hostages or just anyone we catch also the housekeeping and a store where you can buy anything you need, we have paint that goes in the metallic walls but it is expensive. The cells are where we put people to get information out of them really. This time though the bombs are too close to the bunker and the radiation is off the scale we will assess the damage tonight when the radiation has neutralised"
"Just like that the radiation will neutralise in a few hours it will be safe to let people out" Peeta asks
"Yes, we have a contraption Beete and Wirus made and fitted, it is like a filter it breaths in the radiation and filters it separating and cleaning the oxygen from the poison. The oxygen is breathed out, the radiation destroyed but this takes a while and it is too dangerous to let anyone out until we are told by the machine operator that it is safe then a damage report will be submitted then we can start letting people come and go" she explains ending the convosation and Peeta and I sit in the corner, and I rest my head on his shoulder listening to the siren when Prim comes over and sits between my legs resting her head on my stomach, I start stroking her hair like I used to when she was little and after a few hours she somehow falls asleep, I look up to my left at Peeta's face; it is concerned and a little worried
"What's wrong?" I ask nudging him gently
"Nothing" he lies, I can always tell when he lies which is not very often
"Yes there is, I can tell, Peeta you can tell me anything"
"Do you trust her, I mean how do we know that this machine will really work, how do we know that our compartment is really safe now?"
"we don't know and I have any other choice but to trust her" and I put my hand on my tummy to indicate what I mean "because really what can she do kill me and the baby, well I'd rather her than Snow or she informs Snow and then get herself and the rest of the district killed, Peeta I don't really think she would do that and this radiation thing how else have they survived the other attacks you saw the state the ground was in plus we are too valuable to her so don't worry we will be fine and anyway we can send Prims stinking cat out first and if he drops we know not to go out, everyone's a winner, well apart from the cat!" and I smile and Peeta just about manages a smile
"Why don't you try getting some sleep like Prim, I'll look after you two" he asks
"Ok" I say but I know I'll have no luck in this noise but I'll try, so I close my eyes and listen to the persistent noise and after about an hour it stops and becomes a beep so I keep listening and open my eyes, they flick from Peeta's face to Indi's then Prim
"What's that" Peeta asks
"Means they're gone" James replies
"Yes so if you wish you can go back to your compartment it has air again now" Indi says. Peeta looks down at me and I nod and shake Prim who still has her head rested on my bump, nothing, I try again, still nothing I look at Peeta then back at Prim still nothing
"PRIM" I shout still shaking her vigorously for five seconds getting everyone's attention but hers so I lift her head up and place it on the floor so I can see her Peeta next to me "PRIM WAKE UP" James is on the other side of me looking concerned I keep shaking her
"Stop it we'll get her to the infirmary!" Peeta says to me, with that I pick her up and swing her on my side
"Here give her to me, I'll take her don't want you hurting yourself" James says taking her from me
"Indi let us out now" Peeta shouts next to the door so James and I hurry over
"I'm sorry I can't let you go walkys in here it's too dangerous" and I flip
"YOU LET US OUT OF HERE NOW! MY LITTLE SISTER IS UN-BLOODY-CONSCIOUS AND YOU ARE TELLING ME IT'S TOO DANGEROUS, YOU LET US OUT NOW OR I'LL LET MYSELF OUT, GOT IT!" I shout and she turns to the control panel and opens the door. We all hurry out and head to the infirmary lift, I stand next to Peeta telling her to wake up but she doesn't and as the door slides open I charge out, quickly locating my Mother "MUM" I shriek startling her, she turns around and looks at Prims limp body, I see the blood drain from her face as two doctors rush to my sisters aid relieving James of her who joins my Mum, Peeta and myself "Mum sit down" I say as she has begun to sway gently as she slides in to shock like when my Father died, I guide her to the seats and sit her down she has some patients notes in her firm grasp and she sits, I squat in front of her ignoring the surrounding seats "Mum she will be fine don't worry she probably just fainted you know how much of a drama queen she is" I say trying and failing to smile she locks eyes with me
"Help me Katniss, help me be as strong as you are" she whispers, that is the first time ever she has asked me for help
"Mum, to be strong you need to wake up, think of it this way one of your babies are unconscious and she needs you to be strong she needs her Mum, sister and Peeta to stay strong for her so come on the first thing we need to do is to go in there and find out what has happened then I can show you how, then you might finally realise how hard it was for me as a eleven year old Mum, Dad and Sister to her how hard I tried to get food on the table how much I had to sacrifice what I had to go through and then consider how I had to add my name in to the reaping more times to get grain and oil while you slip deeper and deeper into a one way road to oblivion, well, not this time because now I can't go and hunt illegally everyday one because we are here and two because now it's not just me I'd be sacrificing I have a baby and a reason to live back then I couldn't have cared if I lived or died but now I do so we are going to go in there and face up to it and you're going to help her, I have done my share over the years I have brought her up, volunteered for her, kept her alive but now it's down to you, you are a doctor Mum and I am just starting to forgive you for abandoning me all those years ago so please Mum don't do it again to me Mum please!" and she nods and opens her arms, I allow myself to fall in to them and feel her close them around me
"Ok come on let's face the facts" she says and I stand up next to Peeta , he holds my hand and we walk in behind my Mum to Prims room and I look at the doctor
"What's wrong with her" I ask being my usual strong self so no one, not even Gale could have read my thoughts
"She has suffered a mild cerebral hypoxia, which means she suffered a reduced supply of oxygen to the brain. The longer the brain is starved the more brain cells you lose, But somehow she had a shock and her heart started again for a while allowing the cells to be revived long enough but stopped again
"What are her chances?" I ask
"Mild and moderate cerebral hypoxia generally has no impact beyond the episode of hypoxia so her chances of survival are very high about eighty five per cent so we have put her in a medically induced coma in order to protect the brain from further damage. But I would just like to tell you that the duration of a medically induced coma does not give an indication of the outcome. So she could be under anything from a hour to a week so don't worry" I look at my Mum for a non- doctory explanation
"Chances are she will be ok" she confirms and I exhale in relief
"So she won't have any lasting damage" Peeta asks
"We can't say just yet so we will just have to wait until she comes round before determining the extent of the damage to her cells that can be sorted with a few personal questions that you can carry out" and I nod and give my Mum a hug making her finally put down the wad of patient notes she had a hold of
"Well done you are strong when you want to be" I whisper
"Thanks" she whispers in my ear sending chills down my spine "I'm so sorry Katniss" she continued
"If there is one thing I have learnt, Mum, it is that life is precious and there is not enough time to stay hung up on the past" and she nods understanding so I let her go of her and she walks out with the doctor and so I walk in to Peeta's arms that close around me with James beside him rubbing my back when Ben comes in
"James…" and he looks at Prim lying motionless on the bed surrounded by machines all beeping around her "will she be ok I was worried but I stopped Indi coming after you guys, by god is she determined" and we all let out a giggle
"Yeah they think she will be fine" I reply "Thank you Ben"
"Isn't that what brothers are for?" he says "James I need to talk to you outside like urgently" he says and James pats the top of my head and follows him out of the room closing the door behind him so I look up at Peeta even though his chin is level with my nose he is taller than me by a few inches so he is looking down on me and he tightens his grip on my back
"Love you" he says
"I love you too Peeta" I say kissing him
"Peeta come and listen to what that doofis out there has to say" James says bursting through the door and Peeta removes the hand closest to the door and stretches out his hand without breaking away from my lips and from what I can see he stick up his finger asking for one more minute and then places it on my back again as James leaves the room again
"ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY STUPID!" we hear James shout from outside the room and then a thud on the wall making Peeta break away
"Better go and break it up before James kills my other brother!" he says still holding on to me
"Ok" I say and he let's go of me and I smile at him as he walks to the door but I don't move as he swings open the door
"James let him go, NOW" I giggle and peep out the door and see James has his younger brother pinned agenised the wall by his shoulders not like the way Gale had Peeta even though Peeta could have probably have flipped him over his head like a bit of cloth, Peeta goes and stand between James's outstretched arms and because he is the youngest brother that about does it James knows that now he kind of can't hurt Ben without hurting Peeta so he lets go "what have you done" Peeta says to Ben and then I go in and sit next to Prim's bed
"Prim come on wake up you be loving this James just had Ben against the wall and Peeta got in the middle of them come on Prim please just pull through you are just as strong as I am, I pulled through for you so you do it for me come on come on!"
Chapter 38 Prim
Daddy is walking with me in a very bright white tunnel and he was saying that he hopes that I can remember that he loved me and that Katniss did an amazing job of bringing me up and that he is proud of me and for doing as I was told but he would like me to do something for him and that thing is to – but then he has left my side and is at the other end a can feel myself moving backwards clawing to stop, he turned and mouthed I love you then blew me a kiss I can see a brighter light at his end of the white tunnel and I'm falling further and further in to blackness further and further away from him and then I hear Katniss talking to me saying come on Prim then Peeta Well we will see what Katniss thinks come on go and ask her but he is not in the same room I can tell by how far away his voice is compared to Katniss
Chapter 39 Katniss
A deep breath comes from her mouth and she opens her eyes tiredly "PRIM" I say and her eyes follow my voice I reach over and hug her tightly "thank god, thank god-"
"Daddy" I look at her confused
"What? No Prim its Katniss"
"No Daddy was walking with me towards the end of-"
"A white tunnel"
"Yes, how did you know?" she asks sleepily
"He came to see me when I died in the arena and he was in a tunnel" I say trying to hide my horror
"He wanted me to do something but he didn't tell me what he turned and walked away down to the end then said he was proud and he loved me"
"This was what he wanted you to do sweetie he wanted you to live!"
"Ok, Katniss I'm tiered, can I sleep"
"No, you have to keep your eyes open for as long as possible ok" I say brushing back her hair when Peeta and James come in
"She's awake!" Peeta says putting his hands on my shoulders
"I heard you Peeta saying we'll go and ask her or something" and she manages a smile and bless her, her eyes need metal posts to stay open and you can see how hard she is trying to stay awake
I walk to the other end of the room so she can't hear me, James comes and sits in front of me and Peeta sits on the arm even though there is a chair right next to him "she saw my Dad in the same tunnel I did when I was dead" I say to Peeta; I see his eyes widen, I put my left elbow on the seat arm and rest my temple on it shaking my head "Peeta that means she was nearly dead and she wanted to die after all it only took one word according to what he told me that time and I think he asked her to do it for him, not to choose to die" and James looked confused and Peeta, he goes as white as a ghost as he slides in to the other chair shocked so I look at James "in the arena when I was shocked, the day my Dad died came back to me when they were pulling miners out he told me it wasn't an accident and he chose to die because he was next to the man who set fire to the mine he was completely burnt and didn't want us to see him like that he asked me what I wanted to do in the tunnel but my body was weak and I could feel it, I wanted to live but my body didn't that was why I was in the middle and he was at the end I hadn't decided. She had though, he was taking her to the light then made her turn back and walked the rest on his own like when my body agreed to live so he turned around and walked away from me told me not to feel guilty anymore and that he loved me then I started to breath and Prim has just seen the same and he did the same meaning she was almost dead and her body wanted to die and so did … she and he made her live" and he follows his brother as I watch the colour drain from his face I look over to Prim who has fallen asleep so go and shake her and she wakes up instantly, thank god, "I'm going to get Mum ok" and she nods I look at Peeta who is now slouched with his elbow's on his knees and lower arms stretched out and hands cupped together as he stares the them, James sits with one elbow on the arm of the chair and his head in his hand the way I had been sitting moments ago I open the door and Ben comes up to me "well what do you think" he asks
"What?" I ask sounding stressed
"They haven't asked you, have they?"
"No but Prims awake and your brothers seem to have gone in to shock so go easy on them and try not kill each other because me and Peeta have to plan a wedding and to do so I kinda need a groom so yeah don't kill each other" I say and smile and Ben laughs
"Ok, your Mum is in that office over there with the doctor"
"Oh thanks" and I start to the door which is open, I knock and walk in my Mum is sitting on one side of the desk and the doctor is on the other behind the computer "Prims awake and she can remember Peeta and me ok, and doctor –"
"Blagg" he says
"Ok doctor Blagg ehmm I need to talk to you"
"Can I go see Prim" Mum asks him and he nods
"Katniss please sit down" he says as my Mother leaves the room closing the door behind her "What's wrong?"
"Ok this might sound a little strange but when I died in the arena I saw my Dad in a tunnel, a white tunnel, my body felt dead like it couldn't be bothered any more but I wanted to live so my Dad walked away then I started to breathe again for myself and Prim just told me that happened to her. She was walking with him towards the light he told her to do something for him and then she came back to life, doctor I think she might have wanted to die as crazy as that sounds" I say shaking just then Peeta comes in closely followed by James, Peeta takes the accompanying visitors seat and James stands behind me
"She doesn't want to die Katniss the medication we gave her tricks the body into making itself believe that it is dead so she basically already thought that she was dead that is why, now Katniss what you saw in that tunnel interests me, what I mean is I believe your Dad is dead?" I nod and he continues "well I think that maybe we should refer you and you sister to a psychologist ok"
"what so now you are saying I'm crazy because of something we saw, so what if it was a dream then what do you refer anyone who comes in to tell you about their experiences ,no I didn't think so the only reason I told you was because I thought she wanted to die however I could have quite happily lived my life and forgot about it I mean I have watched people die, my Dad died, I brought up my sister, I have killed god knows how many animals and a few people so I could protect Rue and failed and protect Peeta; succeeded there is a long list of why I might need a psychologist which I don't but you choose something that happened six years ago that I dreamed about, I was freaked out at the thought that Prim went through what I did must account for something. Thanks but no thanks I just thought you might want to know what she saw." And with that I scrape back my chair and stand up just as my Mother comes hurrying in
"Doctor she is talking about seeing her Dad in a tunnel" and I collapse back in to my chair placing both hands over my face causing the doctor to chuckle. Peeta stands up so my Mother can sit before she passes out
"This is going to be a lloonngg night" I say under my hands
"Yes we have established that Katniss had that same experience in the games when she died" he replies
"So they are both crazy" she snarls making me remove my hands from my face, what does she mean they are both crazy, I am perfectly sane thanks very much
"No, Katniss thought that Prim wanted to die because she was walking with him towards the end of the tunnel and Katniss didn't want to so she was at the opposite end to her Dad" Peeta says
"Stay out of this Peeta you are wrong I know my daughters" she snaps
"MUM DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT, he is right I told him all this in the arena after it happened, so no matter what I think happened and what Prim think happened and what the doctor thinks we need to do. Peeta is my fiancé and James is our brother, mine and Prims so just because you can't bear to think that we have come to terms with his death before you have, doesn't mean that you can think we are crazy and it certainly doesn't mean you can say that to him. He has been more help than you have ever been, I'm sorry Mum but no I'm not having it its unfair if me and Prim want him here then so be it!"
"Doctor tell her that she has gone mad, TELL HER" she screams
"To be quite honest she hasn't lots of people get these experiences and in different forms sometimes it is a way to show that they are over the gre-."
"She never dealt with it she never cried once since he died she just bullied me into eating and drinking she took Prim off me and brought her up-."
"She would have starved to death if I hadn't gone hunting. I was eleven years old and had been in the woods five times with Dad, I was petrified to go in but I knew I had to so you and Prim didn't die; I made you eat so you didn't die. I couldn't wait for my twelfth birthday to come, although most people dreaded it because of the first year in the reaping bowl but I didn't think of it that way I thought of it as I could start getting grain for us. Most other people's names my age were in there once you wanna know why my name was in there:
Once for being twelve,
Twenty three times for penalties for speaking badly of the Capitol three times when I was nine and then for poaching and trading when I was twelve
Then the thirty six for grain and oil for a year
The total for my first year was sixty but I did it so I could keep you two going so I could sell some at the Black Market where I had been once with my Dad when I was little. I was lucky I was accepted by the traders because they all respected him, and grew to realise that I was just a good a hunter as he was now I am the most respected trader there because of that day. I sell game to the Mayer and even peacekeepers for god sakes. And where do you think Greasy Sue got her wild dog from, me how did I get Prim that goat I sold a month's supply of grain and half of that day's game but that wasn't enough. We would still go to bed with an empty stomach; I would have to listen to Prims teeth chattering and let me tell you that used to kill me so I traded my name for a year's supply and two months. Every year Gale traded for two months as he got a coal allowance because five members of his family work down there and you wanna know how many times his name was in there well the one hundred and eight times for the penalties and then because a normal eighteen year old would have it in twenty five times plus the two month supply for his family add another thirty two sheets extra he had a total of one hundred and fifty six. And me, I had mine in seventeen times for my age like everyone else plus two hundred and twenty four times for the extra oil and grain including the two months extra for the winter plus all the penalties over the years for trading in the Seam and Black Market and showing acts of rebellion mostly consisting of learning to swim and speaking badly of the Capitol works out at one hundred and eight and all of that takes me to a grand total of three hundred and forty nine times, that is more than an eighteen year old but I did it to bloody keep Prims name in there as little as possible and to feed you, what other choice did I have so yes I took her off you and I never had time to sit and cry I took it out on the animals I killed. I worked on a mask so no one could read my thoughts or my emotions so yeah call me crazy refer me to a psychologist because that is what it is like having no childhood, that is what it is like hiding from the community housing service, that is what it is like taking on three roles at eleven so there you go Mum that is why I have never forgave you and that is why I need to finish what I started so my baby might have a better upbringing then I did!" and I sit back down in my chair and Peeta puts his hands on my shoulder as if it will stop me blasting out the roof
"I don't think that she is in need of a physiologist-." Blagg's tries to conclude but my Mother is not finished
"She is in and out of arenas she is seeing her dead Dad, my dead husband, you know Joe the one who died, and you are telling me she is not mentally unstable!" my 'Mother' screams and I think we get the idea that my Dad is dead since everyone in the whole of Panem probably heard her state it
"Yes I am" and my Mother sees red she starts screaming at James now
"Oww and why are you here so you can agree that she doesn't need help, or are you on my side?"
"I'm on Katniss's side she is my sister and I will look after her and my brothers and Prim in any way that I can so I don't appreciate you hurling abuse at them or me" and he looks at me and I nod
"Can we all just sit down and talk about it please" Blagg says desperately
"Sit down? She is a nut case and she can wrap people around her little finger she makes herself out to be a hero"
"Well from what I have just heard she is" Blagg replies
"Yes she is" James adds
"She is" Peeta pipes up from behind me
"you are all idiots" and the whole room erupts and I'm the only one left seated listening to the madness with my hands an my tummy because there is no way they can hear what each other are saying apart from the odd word this is what it sounds like:
SidionutmafeonlovcrazdojusfallnutsIDIOtdonyoutooYOUTOOSONshubasEXCUSEMhelbumad
And then times that by one hundred and crank up the volume then you get the picture so at the finish we aren't getting anywhere so I stand up on the desk and scream "SHUT UP NOW" and that gets there attention "Shut up because I'm going to go in to an early labour if this carry's on I mean this is ridiculous god my baby will be thinking it's going to be born in to a nutter family now here is the bottom line Prim was nearly dead regardless of what you might think weather that be I'm crazy-."
"Which you are" my Mum points out
"She seems to be showing the only sense here though" Indi says walking in
"And you know that how" my Mum replies
"Because I have been watching and listening to all of this through the camera and I agree this will not be doing the baby any good, now Mrs Everdean I understand your view as a worried Mum but it is true what she saw in the arena I saw it we had Fennic, Gemma, Peeta's and Katniss's thoughts monitored I know what she saw and she is not crazy"
"You must be Crazy then too" my Mum snarls
"Shut up Mum you are really being childish now Peeta is a massive part of my life as is his brothers and just in case you haven't noticed Ben is in there with Prim right now making sure she isn't dead because yet again you have ran away from your fears and let someone else take over and frankly Dads death happened six years ago and you still can't handle the fact that Prim is not six anymore and Dad is not here but yet I am and I am still having to clean up your mess and heal your mistakes now I have tried to forgive you, I tried putting it down to the fact you really loved him but now that is wearing a little bit thin and I'm sick of trying. I have found the person I love and am going to have a family with him that is if he wants to be within twelve miles of this family and frankly I wouldn't blame him at the moment" I look at Peeta and he smiles at me "I am happy to let you back in Mum if you get some form of help because it is driving me insane. The worry to tell you anything in case you slip away even the slightest change now is making me retaliate. When I arrived here this morning and saw you helping others I thought great she is getting better but you can't be believe me you can't mask it as well as I did. I was taught how to by Dad, he told me animals can sense emotion so mask it and forget it so I have but some cuts are too deep. I can mask and have forgotten how to grieve I have done that my way. I have dealt with it. I can handle fear when I noticed something was wrong with Prim I let the fear take over for five seconds and to mask it I shook her but secretly I was counting to five then I lay her down and reacted the way I did and we got her down here but you, you can't handle it you zone out or panic you couldn't have looked after her back then in the state you were in and I get that. I did what I had to or whatever you want to call it and that hatred. That resentment is something I never tried to mask. I wanted you to feel alone the way I did but the thing was I was eleven and has just lost my Dad. I have felt guilty about that and I had Prim and I had to brave the woods, alone, The Seam, alone, the Black Market, alone and I had to be careful not to get caught and I had school and I had the reaping and I had to dress her nicely so the C.H.S didn't get wind of it. I can mask it and forget it if I want to, I can, but I have chosen not to but now what matters is firstly getting Prim through this, then the rebellion and maybe then we can consider sorting out family issues ok and to be quite frank if Peeta and I can put off our wedding you can put off calling me a nutt case ok so firstly you need to apologise to the doctor apologise to Peeta and James and Indi and then Prim and Ben and shut up and listen to what people have to say" I feel satisfied I got my message through so I go to clime off the table and Peeta comes over to help me down. I hug him and we join the others and I take great pleasure watching my Mum apologise to everyone. I go and stand next to Indi "sorry for the way she spoke to you and the way I did earlier and sorry for dragging you away from your work"
"It's ok Katniss you have nothing to say sorry for I understand why you reacted like that it was my fault, for now I have a proposition for you-." She trails off as Peeta and James stand either side of me
"It is fine you can say it in front of them it saves me having to tell them later on"
"No, no its fine you should get some rest ok go to sleep or get something to eat you have had a funny day today this morning you were in an arena and now you are here and stuck in the middle of all this ." and she turns on her heels and marches out
"I'm going to see Prim I'll stay there the night to make sure she is ok"
"Do you want me to stay with you?" Peeta asks
"It's up to you, I mean do you really want to be caught up in my interestingly stressful and mad family!?" I ask
"Yes I do" and he kisses me "I'll come down in about an hour I need to go see my Mam about Ben then I will come back down ok"
"Yeah ok" I reply
And he walks to the lift James stays next to me until he has gone "what you have been through is horrendous and you have more guts than I ever would have and can I just say you did a great job of bringing Prim up and I'm sure you will make your baby's life lovely with no games and no family drama, see you in the morning then sis"
"Thank you James and yeah see you in the morning" he gives me a quick hug and he walks up to the lift and gets in so I cross the hall to Prims room and open the door
"Hay, she is fine, she is asleep and breathing, I keep checking"
"Thank you Ben I'm so sorry we were gone so long my Mum kicked off as you probably heard"
"Yeah I heard and like I promised I didn't kill your fiancé or brother or sister so I'm not all that hopeless after all!" and he gets up "Night then see you in the morning" and he also hugs me
"Night Ben" I say taking my seat and holding Prims hand as he walks out and when he closes the door I rest my head on her bed and the other hand on my belly "love you Prim night" I say to her softly and sing the song to her
Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Laydown your head and close your eyes
And when you wake
I'll be right by you
The song Dad sang us when we were very little and I fall asleep myself
I wake at one thirty in the morning the clock says, almost four hours after he left and told me a hour but I don't mind he has a family and his brothers and they are just as big a part in his life as me if not bigger like Prim is to me and I clearly am to his brothers.
Chapter 40 Peeta
When I come down she is asleep it is two thirty in the morning, five hours after I told her I would be back but my brother Ben has had one of his 'amazing' ideas that will 'help' Katniss when really he has done something that she will not appreciate, I mean he means well, he is looking after me and his new sister and our baby. Why am I not panicking out of my mind? James, he will help me, he always has done right through my life, he has helped me but not like how Katniss helped Prim he just persuaded my Mum to let me help lift things and deliver things. With me being the youngest she was and still is too protective of me, she didn't agree with me doing what she made my brother do but I wanted to be as strong as they are so I made James try for me, to let me do my bit he succeeded and to be honest he is like a Dad to me but I think of him as my brother.
I just sit there looking at her she is so peaceful when she sleeps, I move my chair around and sit beside her and place my hand on top of hers that rests on her bump her fingers space out accepting mine I tuck mine in to her palm and hers enclose around them but she doesn't flinch I put my other arm around her back careful not to wake her or Prim she holds Prims hand with her outstretched arm with her head resting on it facing me "I thought you weren't coming" she whispers opening her eyes and finding mine
"Of course I would, Ben has been an idiot and has asked Indi to bring Gale here so you can feel normal and go hunting, and he never asked any of us he just did it thinking he was doing well"
"Oh great so he will turn up and kill you and then try to sleep with me again" she says sleepily "I can't have him here I physically can't he is not the same as he was when we met back then he could see through me he knows too much about me he knows that I have a debt with him and I can't stand it he is constantly adding more on to that then when he started stripping in the woods I saw what he really was, the one person I trusted when my Dad died and he does that, even though he knew I didn't love him and I was with you I know Ben was meaning well but I can't have him here Peeta I'm so sorry"
"We will talk to Indi see what she says ok they mightn't have found him yet but don't worry James and I have well sorted him out"
"What killed him" she laughs
"well my Mum made him stop and for once I would have let him kill him so didn't have to so about an hour and a half ago I started on him too and then James made me stop gave me the whole is this helping Katniss you killing him, no, then stop it, speech and that made me stop and that is when I came down here to see you sorry for waking you"
"it's fine I must have fallen asleep I wanted to stay awake so if she wakes up through the night I can sing her back to sleep but she hasn't moved but she is breathing in can feel it on my neck!" she says sitting up then she rests her head back on my shoulder with her back against my side so I put both hands around her on either side with both hands resting on her tummy but this time with hers on top
"You can sleep I'll keep my eye on her if she wakes up" and I rest my chin on the back of her head then kiss it "love you" I say
"Love you too" and she tightens her grip on my hands
And about ten minutes later she has fallen asleep so I just sit there in darkness until five o'clock in the morning when I hear "Peeta?"
"Yeah" I whisper back
"Are you ok" its Prim, she has woken up
"Yeah I'm ok" and she flicks on a little light on the table beside her and looks at her sleeping sister
"Is she ok" she asks looking at her peaceful face
"she was so tiered she has been awake for three days two of which she spent thinking I was dead in the arena and four night nonstop we have been dragged here and then she has been worrying about you and your Mum and then we all had a very big argument that you would have found amusing and then James and I tried to kill Ben and she is pregnant she hasn't eaten so I think she is just drained bless her but she insists on looking after you and your Mum"
"oww well she can sleep now though so can you I'm fine ish and try not to kill Ben he still hasn't finished the story of when he let out your family's pigs then he's all yours" and she manages to smile
"What do you mean ish?"
"My head hurts and I feel really weak maybe a bit hungry too now you mention it" she says
"No wonder Prim you have been ill all day but you are fine now once they let you out you will feel a bit stronger maybe after you have had something to eat too and I can't go to sleep because if Katniss wakes up and see me asleep she will kill me, I promised I would watch you, make sure you are ok and last time I checked you can't watch people when you are fast asleep, its ok Prim I'll do without"
"Ok then do you know the story about the pigs?" she asks and I remember that my idiot of a brother Ben let all the pigs out of the run when my Mum hit me once even though James had stuck up for me Ben wanted me to love him as much he thought I love James so he let the pigs out of the pen, but that only got me in to more trouble she thought I was retaliating I got hit and she scared me shouting at me James didn't like it and told her, my Dad did too Ben ran away and hid in the meadow when James and I went looking for him and we found him we saw Katniss going in to the woods and I got up to stop her but James pulled me down she is the hunter she gives us the squirrels, her Dad used to sell them to us with her before he died she took over from him. and I nodded and sat back down Ben told me he thought I loved James more than him but that wasn't the case I love both my brothers the same no matter how much of an idiot one of them is he understood that and now I'm really close to both of them but this isn't my story to tell it's Bens
"Yes but it's really not my story to tell"
"Oh, ok what time is it?"
I look at the small clock behind her "seven thirty in the morning the nurses come round at eight o'clock with breakfast one of the doctors said when I came down here"
"Good I'm starving, Peeta can I tell you something?"
"Yes of course you can"
"I'm really frightened" she says breathing in deeply
"What are you frightened about?" I ask concerned
"That you, Katniss or the baby will be killed and it will be my fault"
"Prim none of this is your fault it is mine and Katniss's doing we chose to do this so you and our baby will be safe with no games and no president Snow we will be fine and I will not let anyone hurt my family and you are part of it my brother are the same we all love you, Katniss and your Mum even if she call's my fiancé a nutter" and I smile, seeing a grin creep on to her face
"Did she call her a nutter?" Prim laughs
"Yeah"
"Oo she wouldn't have liked that I bet she went crazy did she?"
"All hell broke loose we were screaming at each other and she sat there through it then she shut us all up then your Mum was really cheeky to Indi and Katniss sorted that out too, she is good at handling situations like that!"
"Yeah she and Mum don't really get along and sometimes it's funny to watch Katniss shut her up when she is being stupid she is the best sister ever she brought me up when Dad died you know, she grew up too fast I think and she did it so we wouldn't starve. She is the best and I love her so much"
"I heard all about when your Dad died how she brought you up she told us in the office when we were arguing, your Mum said something. She is amazing and did something I couldn't ever had done she is so strong and I really love her"
"You will both be good parents you know and Katniss said I can be the aunty as well!"
"You don't really have any other choice but I know you will be the best ever aunty any one can ask for I mean even my DAD likes you and that is hard to do he doesn't even like one of his own son's" and I smile
"Who?"
"I had an older brother than Ben and James he was called Mathew but he was kept a secret all I know was that he was disowned because he wanted to live in the Capitol so when my Mum and Dad left him he moved I never met him that I can remember anyway but I think I was born, we don't really mention him and I don't really call him my brother he is gone like he never existed so it's an honour to be liked by my Father " and she smiles
"How old was he when he left?"
"He was eleven James was nine Ben was five and I was just a baby"
"Can James or Ben remember him?"
"Probably, if you ask them they could tell you better"
"Ok. You are the best thing that has ever happened to her you know" she says looking at Katniss and I smile looking down at her until Prim turns and switches off the lamp
"Night Peeta, love you" Prim whispers
"Night, love you too" I reply she says I love you every night to me now, she trusts me which is nice.
Chapter 41 Katniss
Peeta wakes me at five to eight for breakfast then I realise it is the thirteenth of December. I am in the same position as when I went to sleep; my head on his shoulder and my hands on top of his on my bump "Did she wake up last night" I ask
"Yes we talked and then she went back to sleep"
"Oh" she looks at her sister who is fast asleep in her bed "thank you for looking after her you must be exhausted" I say putting my hand on the top of my bump and sit back in my chair
"Prim wake up its breakfast" And her eyes open immediately in response to his voice
"Have you not had any sleep all night" she asks him
"Nope" he reply's we sit for a bit in silence I sit rubbing the top of my tummy and Peeta watches and I think Prim might have gone to sleep. I jump as the door swings open
"You're still knocked up then I see"
Chapter 42
"Excuse me what did you say" Peeta says standing up
"I said she is still knocked up I see" and punches my fiancé, kicks him and Peeta clenches his fist and in response throws a punch and hits him on his cheek bone and then again on his nose most probably shattering the bones in it then again on the side of the figures chest which takes him aback slightly winded until the boy throws another punch that hits him on the side of his head so I get up out of my seat even though Peeta can easily win but that technique seems to only come out in life or death situations and this, well, clearly doesn't make the cut
"What are you going to do Katniss" Prim shrieks "you are pregnant!"
"I don't care no one hurts my fiancé and gets away with it!"
So I walk over to the brown haired battered boy and tap him on the shoulder and as he turns around I punch his nose again making him wince in pain and again on his cheek bone then again until he sinks to the ground and I lean over his face and shout "YES GALE I AM, I AM FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT AND IT IS STILL PEETA'S NOTHING HAS CHANGED JUST TO SORT OUT IN YOUR MESSED UP LITTLE SICK BRAIN" And he laughs in my face so I slap him full force across the face again and again until James bursts in and physically lifts me off my former best friend and hunting partner
"What is going on?" James asks looking at Peeta
"He called her knocked up then punched me so I started fighting him"
"Then how is Katniss involved you know you're pregnant fiancé?"
"It was my fault I got mad and laid in to him he has hurt him one too many times now and me, he has frightened me to death, in the woods, he tries to kill Peeta and then me he deserved it!" and I just stare at him, he lets out a little laugh and I start for him it takes James and Peeta to restrain me and Gale laughs "shut up now or I will come and kill you you're a lunatic, so how many other pregnant girls have you tried to sleep with since me ehh?" and I still try fight my way out of Peeta and James's grasp as James looks at me
"He did what?" he looks disgusted "He tried to sleep with you?"
"Yes as soon as he found out that I was pregnant" and Ben comes in
"What's wrong?" and he looks at a battered Gale laying on the floor "What the hell has happened to him he looks like he was put through a wood chipper?!" and he looks at his brothers still having a hard time restraining me. Then at me, still trying to fight my way out
"Katniss just calm down!" Prim begs
"No not until he pays for what he has done" I look back at him "You seem to be forgetting something Gale I have been through too much to be weak I have had too, I had to learnt to fight to survive an arena, I am known by the traders I am rough when I want to be like my Dad. Over the year's we have had proper fights and I have never lost one fight with you and you never won, so remember next time where your place is I am the one who taught you to hunt, I am the one who helped you get some cash, but now I don't even know who you are. Before I went in to that god damn arena we were best friends knew everything about each other but now I don't know you, at the one time I need a best friend to give me away to blooming be a godparent and you abandon me, I might have the loveliest family in the world who all look after me but you, you were like my brother the one who could read me like an open book, but now-." I still try fight my way out but Gale seems to look guilty and sympathetic "I just don't know you now" My voice quivers, Peeta and James let go and I run out of the room leaving my words hanging in the air.
Chapter 43 James
"You son of a –." I scream like totally forgetting Prim was still there "How dare you hurt my sister and my brother like that but I'm not going to fight you unfortunately, it will not help anyone so instead I want you and Katniss to make up and for you to apologise to my brother or I will come after you and I will warn you I can and will do a lot worse than them two to protect my family so go and sort it out if they don't listen try again until they do got it?" and he nods I stick out my hand and he shakes mine I squeeze it and pull him in "am I clear"
"Yes" he croaks out then scarpers I turn to Ben
"And you I told you that brining him here was a bad Idea but yet again you go charging off knight in shining armour and I have to clear up yours and Peeta's mess but this time Peeta sorted it out for himself as did Katniss for god sakes and if a four month pregnant girl can so can you so I think you should go and apologise to them and to Gale ok" he leaves the room and I go and sit next to Prim
"how about that for some breakfast entertainment" and she smiles "look Prim I know it is hard being stuck in the middle of everything so am I, I have always been sticking up for Peeta and tiding up Bens mess but there comes a point where you crack and like what just happened to Katniss there is she is exhausted and overwhelmed she needs to rest but she won't and when Gale patronized her she flipped and lashed out so now what she will do is go to sleep and then go back to her normal self again ok" and I stroke her hair
"I'm really worried about her nothing is going right for her at the moment and it doesn't help that today is the day Daddy died she will be really upset all day because she would go out to hunt for a full day in his memory then come back with a whole load of game and a few penalties but she can't here, she is, trapped!"
"Well I bet I can pull a few strings" and her face lights up in hope that I can, so I leave the room and go to Indi's office
Chapter 44
"I know that you need a days' notice but this is a one off and I take responsibility for her safety so no one is taken away from their posts, please I'm begging you"
"I told them that they were welcome to come and go as they please as long as I am informed the day before they wish to leave, don't you realise how much disruption this causes to our mission why the urgency to go today why not tomorrow?"
"Katniss normally goes hunting on the day that her Dad died in memory of him it is very special to her and it will be better than her trying to kill Gale so it is better to let her get back to normal as soon as possible, if you do come around to the Idea don't tell her I would like Peeta or Prim to tell her" she brews on the idea while I wait to be dismissed
"Fine, I will get a ship ready for eleven o'clock."
"Thank you Indi"
"Don't make me regret it" I nod and walk out to make my way back to the twenty fourth floor infirmary and instead of using the lift I use the stairs it takes about ten minutes to go down thirty flights of stairs I open the door and cross the corridor to her room where Peeta and Katniss sits waiting Prim looks at me as I walk in I nod and smile, it is like a light bulb lit up under her eyes they practically glow in delight and in that moment I decide she should tell her I nod at her again and she taps Katniss's hand who looks from Peeta to her
"James has got you to go hunting for Daddy back at twelve he did it for you and Indi said it was ok!" and Katniss looks at me shocked then gets up, walks over to me and hugs me
"Thank you James, you don't realise how much this means to me, thank you!"
"I do" I say and hold her tightly for a few minutes then she goes to sit next to my brother, Peeta and her sister Prim who is now sitting up on the side of the bed "So you ok then Prim?"
"The doctor said I can leave at lunch but can't go back to school for a few weeks"
"Yes and he has also said to take it easy that means no fighting" I say looking at Katniss and Peeta "She doesn't need the stress, nor do you"
"I'm sorry about this morning, it was out of order and he didn't really deserve it we, I mean Peeta, Ben and I went to apologise and he said it was ok, he has agreed to help us but on my terms not his or Indi's she has also agreed apparently" Katniss says apologetically
"Well you better get going the ship leaves at eleven" I say stepping aside to let the doctor in
"Well miss Everdean I think we are happy to let you go but keep a regular check on you over the next few days I mean what else are you going to be doing here that you can't do at home, rest, as long as you stay drama free for the next day or two you should be just fine, your bloods and scans haven't shown any underlining problems just the usual that I would expect so other than that you have recovered remarkably fast but there is still a while before you can begin extensive training I will send a report to president Indi showing your results ok"
"Ok, thank you" Prim says sweetly
"Yes, thank you" Katniss echoes as he leaves the room so she turns to Prim and hugs her "I told you that you were strong" she says pulling back and smiling
"You go Peeta and Mummy can look after me I will send them to look for some chocolate chip muffins I saw a nurse eat and I want one it might help me get a bit better!" Prim says sounding a little too innocently "Besides you have a plane to catch Daddy is waiting for you in the meadow and under the willow just in case you have forgotten!"
"How could I it is my one luxury, the one thing that kept me half sane when I was little, a day off to remember my Dad – do what Dad and I was good at and enjoyed, thanks Prim you are amazing" and with that we leave the room and head for the stairs to the top floor, the floor that we came in almost two weeks ago to watch the last of the games the games that we were so sure Peeta would kill himself in the one that my new sister, Katniss would be crowned victor of but instead we have both of them and somewhere in this mad and twisted world there is that glimmer of hope that maybe just maybe we can have someone who will stop all this madness that is causing the death of so many children every year that the Capitol the people who 'loved' us and 'fed' us even swoop to 'protected' us have ripped my family apart killed one of my brothers killed my soon to be Father in law and traumatised my brother and sister but it is not just mine it is twenty four family's every year, leaving the victors like they are, traumatised and delirious in too many ways that no amount of counselling- even if they did agree to- would ever be enough they are scared for life and will risk what is left of it to make there baby's life better so they don't have to experience what they did that no word can describe. No number can gauge, No happiness can reverse the curse that they are living right now and most of all no nightmare can better what they have been through, this will change their lives forever and I can't help them make it better and as much as she would like to, she can't mask, but she just has to deal with it and just have to watch the people she loves crumble away as she dose, NO, have you even met her, I don't think so, obviously, she will stay strong for Prim for her Mother and for herself for once she will think about herself and finally do the right thing and look after number one protect what is valuable to her. Family.
Chapter 45 Katniss
As we reach the last flight of steps to level one from floor twenty four I realise that we took the stairs I just seemed to be a bit of a blur to me from Gale bursting in me apologising to him and then Prim being discharged from the infirmary after two days there with sleepless nights frightened that she could have stopped breathing or worse but I just need to think about now because today seven years ago I was a normal eleven year old girl who left for school at the same time as my Dad but little did I know, that night he wouldn't be there when I went to bed or in the morning or ever again but in my mind but it's not that simple nothing in my life is simple because even now, after seven years, I blame myself so his memory is ruined by guilt even though in my heart I knew I couldn't have saved those miners and I couldn't have influenced it ether I was just the poor forgotten about daughter who little did those blooming sympathizers know that I had to collect a medal for his bravery (more like compensation for his death- guilt more to the point) I had to help carry a coffin that was filled with nothing more than what they believed to be some of his remains, I was the one who decided to dig up the coffin from the Capitol grave yard before he turned in it and move it to the woods so he could rest in peace in the one place he was free and young that is why I go there on the same day every year without a fail to be next to him even Gale doesn't come with me on this day the animals don't bother me nether but I bother them I take my rage out on the animals but I don't mean the Capitol I mean the copycat ones like dears infact today is the day I get my best loads and today I am going to beat my records I decide as we hit the polluted air and head for the plane "Well bring me back a squirrel ok" James speaks for the first time since we left the infirmary, I had completely forgotten he was with me
"I will" and I clime in to the co-pilot seat and put on my seat belt, James stands on the pad but away from the chopping blades that whizz round so fast it can cut you effortlessly in half in a second and so the helicopter lifts off the base and turns west to head to twelve we head over the forest and land just outside the justice building in under two hours, a trip that on foot would have took at least three days and by car one day, that tells you how fast we flew
"You need to be back here by twelve hundred hours tomorrow morning clear if you wish to be collected earlier just call Indi she will send one of us to get you" the pilot says in a slow voice
"Ok see you then" I say jumping off the steps on to the cobbled floor where the last time I stood was for the reaping earlier in the year, a time that seems years ago, a time I would rather forget.
My entrance has turned lots of attention my way but they know why I'm here they all either remember my Dad or buy off me, some look sympathetic, some look pleased, some look relieved that some game will be brought to them finally so they can feed their families, but the question at the back of my mind is why don't they join the rebellion they would be catered for fed until they were full a safe place to live so why? Yeah there is the risk but that is more so living here than there here: they can starve and be bombed or executed any day but no they would rather stay here which yeah I can understand and I head to my old house in the Seam to collect my Fathers hunting jacket and game bag it is not a long road but it takes a while to get there I walk past where the Black Market used to be – wait – used to be, where is it, I stop in my tracks and look at the old barn it is gone nothing but a pile of ash "They burned it down we have new peacekeepers here they found out about this place but we still have the Seam" I turn in shock to see greasy Sue standing behind me looking well as dirty and as greasy as she normally dose
"Was anyone hurt?"
"No they did it through the night we didn't find anyone's corps, there is no one here now, they are all either dyeing, dead or part of the rebellion in fact the only people who stayed her is the people who are really ill, me and the baker only stayed to help those who are left, I'm only here because my niece is ill I'm here to help her Mum through it all, she lost her husband three days ago, Katniss they are killing us off one by one but this time you and Gale can't save the lot of us, this is worse, put it this way you would rather starve to death than die the way they are killing you now, unless you can hunt a miracle and shoot it. You can't help who's here, they are going to die!"
"Then let me try, help persuade them to come back with me to thirteen we can take them to the infirmary and see what they can do for them get a real doctor to tell you not just guessing that they will die, what is the matter with your niece?"
"They contaminated the grain that is how her Dad died we think it was either that or infection we can't be sure, I know why you are here and it is nice that you are keeping up the tradition but I will warn you I have been watching the keepers they go to bed at eleven at night that is the only time you'll be able to get the game out unnoticed, I will wait in the meadow with the kart for you next to the chink on this side you can load it on to the back unseen ok and while you are there get me some of that wild dog if you can but be careful please"
"Thank you, I will as long as you persuade the ill to come to thirteen with me including you- hang on you said only the ill stayed- where is Gales family they aren't in thirteen?"
"Two of his brothers are ill Hazel is staying with the other boys to help me and the baker but they just have the scratch pox and the flu they are already recovering well"
"Ok see you at eleven then!" I say walking down the road to my old crooked home in the Seam with its little dead garden in front and the wooden door Dad and I put together, I open the gate and then the front door which squeaks just like It always did, as I walk in I'm hit with the familiar sent of rotten wood, coal and fire, the living room is in the same state we were when we were ushered out to be moved to the victors village, rushed, the rug is curled over where we caught out feet, the sofa slightly off centre and the book shelf still half full, the way it always was, we- I mean I rescued one book, my Dad's survival book not like I need it now - I have all of my knowledge I need but it is nice to see his writing it was the last thing he wrote, the night before so, last night seven years ago we wrote in about a whole new plant my Mother could use for her healing stuff- we were supposed to get it today but he was killed I walk to the kitchen area where his jacket – my jacket still hangs around a chair, the game bag beside it, I snatch them up and shimmy it on, it hangs loose like usual but even if I wanted to it wouldn't fit now, it always used to be too big but now it is too small funny that, I head for the front door as I near it someone is outside I chuck the bag under the sofa out of sight and take the jacket off but the peacekeepers will have raided this house they probably know what is in here but just in case, I look through the blinds and to my surprise no peacekeepers no Capitol escorts, Hazel, Gales Mum, I open the old door to let her in she looks at my hand on top of my bump then back to me "Let Gale come with you please" she pleads – no, hi Katniss how are you or nice to see you, no she brings up his name in hope I will let him protect me haha more like sleep with me in the middle of no were just so he can prove a point, I feel my eyes narrow
"No I'm not here on a normal day this is my Dads day I hunt on my own in his memory and if Gale has asked you to do this he knows that Hazel I'm sorry but I'm going on my own to remember him" I calm down a bit then ask "How is the boys?"
"Cameron and David are ok they had the scratch pox then got the flu, Katniss I'm so sorry I forgot how much today means to you, but everything has been stepped up, the punishments are harsher and the fence is electrified you can't get out now without help!"
"I do have help, Greasy Sue has cut the fence a little more…" then I remember I can't just squeeze through any more I will have to copy what my Dad did all the time- this should be fun! "I will be fine I have cover I will get you five squirrels ok"
"Fine, how long are you going to be here for then?"
"I'm leaving tomorrow at five o'clock, Hazel please come back with me there is plenty of room and it would really help my Mum to see a familiar face please, you will be far more safer, look around the place is almost gone, anyone who comes from here who are in the rebellion will be turning back to thirteen there is nothing left anymore it will help you look after the boys I promise you"
"Tomorrow at four fourty five then" She says turning for the door "I'll see you here with the lads, ok" I nod as she leaves then I retrieve my jacket and bag then sink in to the sofa, how on earth am I going to get under the fence I could only just fit through before I was five months pregnant so now I have no chance regardless if Sue has cut it but I will find a way I have to. So I pull on my jacket and get up, head for the door and boom my plans wrecked Effie comes trotting in so I turn on my heels but keep going round – doing a full circle as she comes in
"I'm on my way out I'm sorry but I really need to go"
"Indi sent me" she says fluttering her blue eye lashes she isn't a pile of pink any more she is a big pile of blue "I'm in the rebellion, surprised are you well I'm sick of living in the Capitol it is boring, you and Peeta are the best thing that has happened to me in a long time so I want to continue to help you" she says sitting down on my sofa trying to hide her disgust for the condition of the sofa she smiles
"Well you wait here while I do what I have to do I will be back about one tomorrow morning ok" and smile hurrying out the door before she can say anything else once I am out of range of the house I pull out the radio I was supplied with and page Indi
"Hello?"
"Indi. Effie Trinket really - she has joined the rebellion true or false?" I enquire she is quite for a while then says
"True she is part of the rebellion she is helping Beete and Wirus in the Capitol"
"Indi can I bring some ill people to thirteen who are willing to join if they can be healed?"
"Are they true?"
"Yes they are people I know"
"Ok I will inform the necessary"
"Tell Gale that I will be bringing his family since he didn't"
"I will" then she is gone I put the device into the pocket in my jacket as I reach the fence, I walk a few yards until I reach my usual spot and listen no hum, that is really odd I throw a stick at it nothing so I flatten my stomach as best as I can and slide through easily- thank god- I go to the willow and retrieve my bow and then walk a while until I reach the log for my arrows. I think I will go to the lake I can hunt there and go to the house it should be nice, I take off in a north – eastern direction and about ten minutes in to the walk I see a squirrel so I select an arrow and aim it but before I know it the sharp arrow has pierced it smack bang in the eye just as usual I see the thing collapse and die instantly I walk to it and open my sack throw it in and carry on- Hazel can have it for two of the boys because no matter how much I despise Gale his five brothers and Hazel haven't done anything so why should they suffer.
After an hour I reach the little house it looks the same; cold empty and cute. I open the door and march in drop my game bag and shut the front door, I hoy some wood that stand by the fire all neatly piled up on to the concrete floor and find the flint my Father showed me how to make, I create a small spark and the logs catch I sit in front of the fire on the floor like old times – it's not the same my life can't stay the same I mean, I had a nice life: my parents loved me we never had to worry about starving because if food was short Dad would take me into the woods Mum would heal people and I would help Dad, I was his little girl, I take after him, I love hunting and I love rebellion. I am a leader of one all through him teaching me. I am only alive through his teaching, then my mum had Prim and life was even better I had a best friend someone to look after. It went on for six years a nice happy family, a nice normal family until that day that he died that day Mum broke down that day I realised that I couldn't follow my Mum I had to protect Prim but I thought it would be like when I was little helping her with school teaching her how to do her hair no I was like her Mum, I had to be, it wasn't like a sisters way of protecting someone it is like a parents way a bond much stronger than siblings she may as well have been my daughter and from that day on my life has detearated, I missed my childhood, I hunted until dawn I sold at the seam and then I went in to the games for my sister but then I met Peeta he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, he has given me something I have lacked all my life; Hope and love and now – now I am going to have a baby – a family to take care of that is all mine and his something that will change me make, me happy make up for all those years I felt lonely and unloved I will have a child who I will love and a husband I will love, by god I am really looking forward to being an normal family with the one person I love more than Prim – Peeta. I also have a rebellion and a president to kill to make sure I can have a nice normal- what is left of my life because I have bypassed my child hood and grew up before most people and broken a record for the most reaping tickets so yeah I have had one crazy life and ironically I am still sane (depending on who you ask!) this would be anyone's dream being leader of a rebellion having a baby, getting married and killing someone who contributed to ripping your life apart. Sounds harsh but if he hadn't been president my Dad wouldn't have had to go in to the mines, if it weren't for him there would have been no games, if it weren't for him we wouldn't have starved, if it weren't blooming for him my baby's life wouldn't be in so much danger, my life is so messed up and no matter what I do I can't help but make it that little bit harder for myself but one thing I have to thank him for is brining Peeta and I together and giving us that room and a new house but that dosent excuse the rest of his sins, I will do it, I will end his life in the most horrific and nightmarish way even if it works me in to a grave I will make sure my little baby will have a better life with Peeta if needs be, I'm going to do it for Prims children I have looked after her so why not add on her family too just to widen my ever growing list of people I have to protect and kill Snow for, I'm telling you he will have to die about twenty times for all the people's lives he has wrecked so I need to get thinking on how to torcher him to death over and over again. This little talk with myself has made me stand up and head out the door apparently because it is not until I realise I am like meters from the lake that I am in fact outside with my bow, arrows and game bag. I must have been walking for half an hour and not even realised it, this makes me laugh as I sit down by the lake my feet in the icy water. I pull out my knife and throw it, it hits my target, a frog on a lily pad perfectly so I stretch out my bow over the lake, guide it towards me and pick it up, the skin is slimy and the small wound where I stabbed it is bleeding slightly, I pull out the knife and put it in the breast pocket of my jacket where it has always lived then toss the frog in to my game bag along with a squirrel. I look around, the place is the same, same trees, same bushes, same plants, same smell, everything seems so peaceful, tranquil and so uncapitolized. It is lovely, this will be one of the first places I will take it when it is born, I will bring it here show it that the world is not all bad and if you can brave it, the woods is a nice retreat, a place to hide from the world but not from your fears, I learnt that with my Mum she hid from hers, forgetting, she hid from her fear of forgetting and letting go but it came back and bit her. I have resented her for seven years for doing that and it is one thing I will never forgive her for, she robbed me of my child hood no matter what I said about life being too short, I have never tried to forget it and probably never will because she does something that triggers a hatred for her that spreads like blood around my body, filling every inch and she wonders why I am not scared out my wits about becoming a Mum – ehmm I already am a Mum thanks. I know how it works just not the whole giving birth bit that is her department; you can take credit for that bit but everything else to do with Prim was me, I am the reason she is who she is frankly and I am so proud of her because I babble on about how bad life has tret me but she hasn't had a nice life either she was one thing worse than me she was actually chosen to go to the games, I wasn't. Peeta was I wasn't. I have had my moments of luck but really I would have rather been chosen, I have had my name put in extra for her but for nothing, she was still chosen, she still screams when she dreams about it thought that she was standing there in complete silence all round her for her name to be read out to fill that silence, put it this way I felt it too, it is like having someone put their hand through your belly and move it inside stirring everything up, your stomach shrinks and becomes unsettled and you don't remember why you are there. Now double that then you feel the feeling she felt, amongst all those names it is YOU only you, nowhere to run and nothing to do but do as your told it is horrible and I am glad I did what I did for her it must make that pain a little more bearable, a little more believable that we share that?, well it dose for me, I stand up and walk to the nearby bush, pull out the fishing rod then sit back in my spot and start to fish just replaying the reaping over and over again but each time, feeling the same feeling I did on the day, sick.
Chapter 46 Peeta
James and I have decided to decorate my cabin we had to seek Indi's permission first, which took a little persuasion on my part, but we got there eventually, James and I got cream, red and silver paint off Indi for free and now we are half way down to my compartment. Once there we let ourselves in to find Prim on the bed "Hi!" she beams
"What are you doing here and how are you out of hospital?"
"They let me out and Katniss gave me a key, I want to help decorate!"
"Prim what part of rest don't you understand?" I joke on giving her a hug
"So what can I do?"
"You can help with the cream then I'm doing flowers in silver and red ok!"
"Ok, which walls do you want done?"
"All of them cream then I will do one wall with the flowers, we could have it done by the time she gets back if we hurry but Prim don't overdo if you feel tired stop, ok"
"Ok I promise and when will she be back?"
"We don't know when she will be back she will probably come home when she feels like it, let's get started then" James says
"Yes lets we have a lot to do" with that we get started Prim starts on the bathroom door wall I start on the big wall and James on the main door wall leaving the wardrobe wall we share the paint out evenly and I start painting, the paint takes pretty well considering it is metal, I get half of the big wall done in a hour, I look around and we are all nearly done "Who fancy's a muffin then"
"Yeah please can I have one of them chocolate one?"
"Prim you have had me running round all day looking for them!" I reply
"You did promise me!" she says way to cutely she even went to the pet lip and guess what I crumble
"James go find her a muffin and get me a sandwich" I giggle
"How come I have to? Where's Ben, he can find it" and we all almost rolling around laughing "Peeta where is Ben I haven't seen him for hours"
"I think he is actually the only one who is following the schedule; he is at training I think he was in a huff this morning with us for laying in to him last night"
"Oww yeah I forgot about that we should probably apologise for that before Mum guilt trips us, but if he had of-"
"Yes James we know but he did it so move on, I will go find him and get the muffins for us, Prim is there anything else you want; a drink or a sandwich?"
"No thanks just a muffin please"
"Ok" and I pick up my wallet and then I pat her on the head as I leave, I head straight down the corridor to the stairs and race up them three at a time to floor thirty six where the café that I haven't tried is situated, I walk in and it is pretty busy but my eyes are drawn to where my Mother and Katniss's Mum sits, my Mum spots me and waves me over.
I go and join them just as Ben turns up and sits next to me he nods as do I but we don't speak "Peeta where is Katniss I haven't seen her since yesterday I'm worried today is the anniversary of Joes death and well she might have done something stupid" Nadinear blurts out
"Pwaha haven't you seen Gales face it is patch work" Ben snarls and her mums face looks horrified
"Gales here and she did that to him" she says bringing her hands to her face
"Well done Ben" my Mother glares at him
"Hey just telling the truth" and I screech my chair back and stand "Sorry Nadinear, mum"
"it is fine" she chokes out so I turn and hit Ben over the head the way he always did to me joking on when I was a kid, but I don't know if I was joking
"Sorry" I hear him say then he too leaves the table to run after me
"Peeta I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt anyone I thought I was helping"
"Ben I know you were but you need to think first we know you mean well but it never comes out like that you mess it up or worse but please just don't say anything to Nadinear she is already falling apart and especially today she can't cope please" he nods and I shake his hand we are just about to start the stairs when he asks "What have you been doing to be covered in paint?"
"We are decorating, I forgot the food" and I turn to go back in "wait here I'll be a minute ok"
"Right" and I go in, the queue is almost gone so I look at the cakes and choose four chocolate muffins for Prim and James and some form of meat sandwich for me I also get four drinks of god knows what, I go to pay when someone catches my arm and I turn to see Nadinear
"Peeta where is Katniss?" she sounds so…. Frail?
"James got Indi to let her go hunting in twelve she left this morning why?"
"I was just wondering, and where is Prim?"
"She is with me we are decorating her, James and me do you wanna help, I'm sure my Mother has you crazy?"
"No, no it's fine I was just wondering I don't know where my own kids are" she laughs half heartedly
"Do you want anything?"
"No its fine thank you Peeta" and she turns and walks away with my Mother so I turn to pay the waiting lady I go to give her my money
"It is ok I have been told that you and Katniss and your family's do not have to pay" and she pushes the food to me
"Thank you" but I hand her a five dollar note. Since we got here we are all given an allowance every month of fifty dollars but obviously we can just use it here in thirteen but we all know it is counterfeit. Only the Capitol has real money "Just as a tip" and I smile then head to the door where Ben is standing talking to my Mother and Nadinear I push open the door to stand beside my Mum "Have you apologised for last night?" she asks looking at me right in the eyes and for a minute I think she is going to stand me in the naughty corner
"Sort of"
"Yes" Ben adds in
"You boys need to stop fighting it doesn't help; it is unfair how you always fight Ben"
"Mum it was my fault I deserved it" she rolls her eyes as we walk away "Bye then" she shouts sarcastically and I wave my hand above my head as we go down the stairs,
As we reach floor eighty one Ben speaks "I don't know if James will appreciate me helping"
"Well it is my room and if I want you there then you can be there got it plus Prim is there too" and I open the door
"Look what the cat dragged in" James snarls
"James give it a rest just sort it out instead of being so childish, sort it out" I say "Here Prim look what I found" and I show her the muffins
"WOW thank you Peeta, are they all for me?"
"Yeah, you have done loads of work the day like" and I look around at the three small walls and the medium wall James has almost finished and my partly finished wall where the flowers will go on, so I need to get a shift on, I stand up and throw the sandwich and the three drinks on the desk then go to my wall and start painting again
"Where has James and Ben gone?"
"Outside to sort it out, they are really pathetic aren't they" and she laughs
"Don't you mean kill each other?"
"Yeah more likely" and I keep painting after about fifteen minutes James and Ben come in laughing
"You didn't kill each other then, well done" Prim giggles and I look over my shoulder smiling she is painting again on James's wall now hers are finished
"Ha - ha" James says sarcastically dipping his fingers into the paint and wiping it on her face so she copies and it goes on until the small amount of paint on her pallet has gone by then she is covered in paint and so is James and I have finished the wall and just waiting for it to dry
"Where is my sandwich?" I ask looking at the desk and look around Prim laughing her head off and James trying it wipe the paint off his face so that just leaves a suspicious looking Ben
"Sorry!" he giggles and I wet my paint brush with the cream paint and go up behind him, in one quick swoosh I put paint on his face then James joins in, Prim does too so in five minutes we have completely painted my brother.
After an hour the paint has dried so I get out a pencil and begin to draw on the large flowers and their stems this will take hours but I really don't care. It will look really nice when we get it done.
Fifteen minutes and three flowers later I decide I should maybe start painting them so I crack open the red paint, begin painting the outside part of the flower and make it lighter as I worked my way inwards gradually adding water giving it a washed out effect then it looks as if it has faded in the middle this takes me the best part of two hours to do three flowers so then I decide I should draw some more so I draw another three identical flowers with the stems then paint them too but this time it takes me half an hour to do all of it, I should be done in no time so I keep going drawing three then painting them this goes on for another four hours then I start on painting the leaves and stems which doesn't take very long and then it is just a matter of waiting so I sit on bed and admire the day's work, Prim has long since gone up to her compartment as has my brothers I look at the clock on the wall next to the bathroom it says nine thirty at night so I go and do my teeth and have a well-deserved shower it takes ages to get all of the paint off so imagine Prim, James and Ben how long it will take them to get it off, I then get dressed for bed and collapse onto the double bed that I should be sharing with Katniss, I wonder where she is if she is in bed or still hunting, but somehow I don't see her in bed just yet but I am, I am wrecked I haven't slept in two days I have had two fights with my stronger, older brothers and decorated a room so I deserve an early night so I lie there listening to the clock ticking and letting my mind wonder.
Chapter 47 Katniss
As ten o'clock approaches I look through my game bag and I have done really well not my best but close enough and I still have an hour, I open my bag and tip it out the contents at the old stone where Gale and I used to meet. I have nineteen small squirrels, four birds, five large fish, a frog, and three rabbits and then by my side I have the dear and two wild dogs for greasy Sue to do what she wishes with, something – different – unique – tasty, and I let out a smirk at the things she has whipped up over the years. I place the dear and dogs on the cart from the old house and weal it back there locking the game in the house and then I venture further out into the woods with an empty game bag and fresh arrows ready to kill and within minutes I have shot a bird, a fox and a squirrel beating my best but I don't stop I keep going shooting whatever happens to come into my shooting range, each one right in the eye keeping up my family tradition not letting my customers down. I shoot down about four more birds filling my game bag, I look at my radio, the clock reads ten thirty so I turn and head back to the cottage and as I near I see the door has bullet holes in and my hunter instinct takes my mind into overdrive I look around the area it is as undisturbed as ever I cautiously step forward towards the front door then something shiny catches the corner of my eye I pick it up, the shell of a bullet so it was shot inside of the house, I draw my bow and open the door and a body tumbles out and I glance in, it is as undisturbed as ever. The kitchen window is wide open whoever it was is long gone I turn over the girl's body revealing a young girl, my age that I know only too well it is Madge, twelve's mayors daughter, she has one clean shot straight through her head but why is there four astray shots around the door and why was she even here? No one ventures into the woods apart from me, so why? It doesn't make sense but I haul her on to the cart and push it to the fence it is ten to eleven now and Greasy Sue is there waiting for me already and she looks at Madge's dead body wide eyed - shocked
"She was killed by a gun in my cottage she was there when I got back who ever it was is long gone" and I start passing game through the gap, once I have finished I run to the old house with the cart and then back to the fence under the chink and then leap on to the truck beside a cold Madge, she was the one who gave me the pin, she was my friend at school but other than that she was a quiet girl which begs the question: why on earth was she in the wood without a weapon, did she follow me? This thought sent shivers down my spine but it wasn't my fault, I am not responsible for what happened to her she was murdered and I was in the woods while she was killed but who am I trying to persuade here myself? Madge? But then again she knows who is responsible so I guess it can only be myself that I am trying to reassure. The cart ride to the black market is short and even at eleven o'clock at night the place is swarming with traders wanting the leftovers or the fresh game in my case but they will just have to wait a while longer for it because we go to Greasy Sue 's house first to drop off her wild dog- I don't charge her much just free whatever it is on the day and three dollars so it has been for over sixteen years, an arrangement my Father and hers came to and we abide by, it's all good, we set off back to the market and go to my usual spot where punters are already waiting to be served, I quickly skin the game and lay it out making a mental list of what I put down- just in case:
Ten small squirrels four dollars each
Five large fish and a frog, two dollars each
Three rabbits five dollars each
One dear fifteen dollars per whole dear
Nine medium birds three dollars each
And a fox ten dollars each
These prices are my Fathers too I have followed to my Father's standards so the costumers keep coming and to keep his name good he was respected and so am I and I intend to keep that going. Within minutes the catch is gone bar Hazels five I keep hers to one side and one for James so they are not bought and I kept three back to take to thirteen with me. So just here I made one hundred and twenty two dollars plus greasy Sue s three dollars that's one hundred and twenty five dollars then I still have hazels money to collect but will give them to her tomorrow after all I am going to hers at one o'clock in the morning besides it is only four hours until she is due so I will just go home to my old house after I visit my new house – sounds strange to say that, one minute I am on deaths door starving and freezing barely having a house and now I have two houses to choose from, strange isn't it- so I walk to the victors village, a longer walk than to my old seam house, and open my door with the key, my mother must have remembered to shut the door after her, and walk in casually but I don't linger downstairs long I race up the stairs to the little nursery, even out here on the landing you can smell the paint but it must be dry by now, I swing open the door and gasp – not for any good reasons though.
Chapter 48 Peeta
Just gone twelve o'clock in the morning – there is a tap on the door – so soft you can barely hear it, I slide out of the cold bed and walk to the compartment door – it is locked- typical me and you guessed it I can't find the key, maybe doesn't help thumbing around the desk in pitch black, got it, I slide back to the door and unlock it "Did I wake you?"
"No" and I speak the truth I have lay watching the clock all night "What's wrong?" I ask Prim as she walks in
"I couldn't sleep, Mums gone – well – mad, she is screaming in her sleep about the arena and then Daddy, she is freaking me out so can I sleep down here, please" and she looks at me wide eyed
"Yeah sure, wont your mum panic if she wakes up and you are gone?" I say
"No I left her a note saying I was going to see you" and I nod, she clearly had figured I would say yes – am I really that predictable? Anyway she climbs into Katniss's part of the bed and surprisingly drops off to sleep straight away I rest on my side looking at the clock my back to Prim, waiting for morning, why I can't sleep I don't know, she is so peaceful just like her sister. It is so quite in here it hurts my ears the only sounds are the ticking of the small round clock above the bathroom door and my breathing, but this quietness is what is creepy it's too quite. Why can I only hear my breathing? Then I feel like I have been kicked in the gut so I sit up and look over at her and too my relief her chest rises and falls, that is when I realise that she is breathing in perfect harmony to my own – she is copying me – I smile and lay back down.
It is two o'clock now and the room is as dark as always, even daytime is dark with no windows you really couldn't tell the difference if it weren't for the hundreds of clocks in every room – imagine having to put the clocks forwards and backwards two times a year.
When the clock strikes seven o'clock I get up an hour earlier than I have too so Prim can get up to her compartment before her Mum wakes up, I go round and shake her, and she wakes up wearily. I go over to the wall where the timetable is- I think I will go to training today, even though I don't have to according to Indi because of Prim and what has just happened, we get the week off but I am so bored just sitting here or decorating and so bored just fighting with my brothers. I follow the day – Wednesday – and down, first thing I have gym then training – great what could be better and I roll my eyes then turn Prim is still in bed
"Come on it's time to get up you still need to get up to your Mum before she wakes up!" and I smile sitting on the desk as she rolls out of bed
"Thank you for letting me stay" I smile and she leaves the compartment, I mustn't have locked the door last night then, so I go have a shower and get ready in the khaki uniform hanging up in the wardrobe among many, all of which are identical, so I don't have much of a decision to make. I go and make the bed then sit on it regretting not going to sleep, I look up at the very familiar clock seven fifteen still got another fourty five minutes permitted in bed then I will get an alarm phone call apparently but that remains to be seen this was the first night in this room the other two have been spent in the infirmary doing nothing so it is time that I put something towards mine and Katniss's rebellion with that I sit up and practically drag myself out of the compartment door to the stair case doors and walk to floor number fourty two where the gym is located, completely skipping breakfast. Just as I reach floor thirty Indi catches my arm "She will be back around nine o'clock the plane has just been dispatched it is two hours later than we intended but it is on its way, where are you going?"
"To do my bit and take part" I say still in need of sleep
"Training you mean? You look like Haymich's hangover is in you instead of him, you look rough!"
"You don't look too bad yourself thanks and yep that's right just making myself useful, got to be better than sitting doing nothing ehh?" and she begins on the stairs going down laughing and I continue my assent to floor fourty two which takes five minutes to get there. I push open the door to the void gym that looks to be deserted in the dark; I flip the switch and eight luminous lights overhead light up the whole room reviling lines upon lines of equipment that are evenly spaced out some with weights that I think I will give a miss because let's face it I can throw my eldest brother clean over my head so I think I will stick to whatever else the gym has to offer, I walk around the threshold of the gym looking at the equipment on display the treadmill seems to look very appealing but I keep an open mind and keep looking I can remember all of this from the Capitol gym and surprisingly enough it is a much nicer atmosphere here asides from that fact I am alone, so I take advantage of that and go to the farthest point of the gym where the last treadmill stands and press on, the belt beneath where I stand starts slowly and then starts to gradually build up until I am sprinting hard with an incline of twenty percent it is pretty hard but I am not going to give up until the thing tells me too which according to the monitor that counts my pulse and makes up a time I should be able to keep going for is two hours from now, yeah right, I will not go that long.
Chapter 49 Katniss
There on the wall above the fire place in my baby's room is painted in a vibrant red: NOSAER HTIW - WONS I am taken aback by this who the hell has been in my house and destroyed my baby's room and why in here, there are nine rooms in this house they could have chosen from but no and what do they mean 'nosear htiw - wons' it dosent make any sense and then I click it is backwards like Haymich's note. I unscramble the letters 'with reason - Snow' – Madge – her killer must have done this and more horrifyingly it might have been Snow, was I in the woods with him, where is he now, was he in my house, in the room my baby will sleep in – oh my god – I feel ill now, but why tell me and why in here it doesn't make sense at all so I turn and leave the house as quickly as possible to get away, I am lucky that Indi told me the plane was going to be delayed when I was on my way here and it is now coming at nine o'clock because otherwise I wouldn't have had time to go and see that, when I arrive at my old Seam home Hazel is waiting outside for me I am, after all two hours late but it is only two hours before the plane
"Sorry" I say looking and sounding traumatised
"You look like you have seen a ghost" Hazel says chirpily
"I guess you could say that" and I let her with her battered and thin family I hand her the five squirrels and she hands me the money that I refuse "What?"
"You keep the money your lads have been starving so have you- keep your money" I say not quite hearing myself – did I really just refuse money am I mad? ehmm well according to my Mother I am but that dosent count, I sit down at the kitchen table as the lads sit on the sofa quietly, so outta character "The ship is coming at nine now it was delayed, sorry for making you wait I had a pretty big shock just then"
"It's fine, what the matter?"
"Someone has killed Madge in my cottage in the woods so I would find her and then wrote on the wall in the nursery for the baby with reason – Snow so I am pretty freaked right now" and her jaw drops in astonishment like mine did when I encountered both scenes – you know what I don't have any room left on my whole body for anymore scars I am covered in them but they aren't visible they are mental things that will haunt you for the rest of your life weather you like it or not. But don't you see; now someone has died and I have a feeling that it was at her expense that I have been bailed out of something, saved from something, well, why not just add that to my ever-growing list of debt. Someone has died to save me or someone I should have. There is a chance that I have nothing to do with it but somehow after my year of 'luck' that seem unlikely.
I look up at the clock it is eight fifty we have been sitting here for almost two hours "Come on then" I say giving Gale's family a shock but they all follow me out and to the justice square where I was deposited yesterday. I turn to see a dozen more people hobbling along with the aid of Robert Malark- Peeta's dad and Greasy Sue who is carrying her niece, her sister hurrying beside her, I look to see the cart with Madge's motionless body covered by an old sheet that rustles in the light breeze, Robert comes and gives me a hug "Congratulations on the baby and the engagement" and he smiles sincerely. I forget he hasn't seen us since the last games.
"Thank you" I say smiling, then I walk over and roll the covered body on Sue's cart down exposing her face – it looks – dead – and shocked, maybe a little empty too surprisingly. "I'm sorry" I whisper but I know that I couldn't have done anything to help her and I don't even know what happened but I have an idea that is ghastly and unthinkable, but that mad man is capable of things you can't even begin to know let alone comprehend to. So, I cover over the face as the ship lands in the square a man from the hold ushers the people on and I pick up Madge's light body and carry her like Peeta carried me on the second parade to the lift – like a princess – then pass her to the man and go to the co-pilots door hop in and belt up ready for take-off. The plane lifts off the ground effortlessly and before I know it we are twenty thousand feet in the air according to a dial on the panel in front of me. I wonder where Madge is now, I have often wondered where you go when you die but up here you seem closer to the people you have lost. "Can I get radio to Indi up here?" and the same man that brought me here nods so I call her "Hello?"
"Indi we need a board meeting as soon as possible. It is urgent we are on our way back I need everyone who is necessary there even Haymich, drunk or sober ok!"
"Yep ok that is arranged see you on floor eighty two, ok"
And she sign's off as we begin our decent in to thirteen.
Chapter 50 Peeta
I am really going for it I am up to maximum speed and maximum incline of fifty per cent and it is gruelling and yet rewarding, I feel like I have been given some form of adrenalin rush, I have gone for an hour and an half now non-stop and I am sweating and hot I really didn't think this one through, I am so thirsty but if I stop I won't be able to do it again I have worked so hard and it really not that easy to do but I am almost there twenty more minutes now. The gym doors swing open and Indi comes in "Board meeting, Katniss is almost here and has called it urgently so once you have finished come to level eighty two ok, well done it has never been heard of for someone to reach maximum speed I'm impressed" and I nod in appreciation unable to speak through my dry throat that has long since closed and stuck together it is really that dry believe me – just five minutes to go now and I will be done, the belt has begun to level out now and slow down. Once it has stopped I go to the weights and put the heaviest discs on either side and lay down and lift it off the stand bring it to my chest and then up until my arms are straight and then back down I repeat this twenty times until I get bored there is no challenge in it and I hate it I want to be pushed to my limits and beyond something I find difficult to lift. I go to the showers and have a quick shower before going to the gym lift that I never even thought of, turn the key beside eighty one and press. When the lift doors open I unlock the metallic door and step straight in to my compartment and open the wardrobe get out a new uniform, then take yet another shower. This times a cold one to cool down.
I just take the stairs to the next floor for the board meeting the guard looks at me and opens to door nodding as I look in, Indi sits with a rather guilty looking mayor of twelve who is apparently called Ed, Sealena, a sober Haymich – now there's something you don't see every day, Fennic, Gemma, James, Ben and Prim around a BIG table with five spare seats I take the one next to Prim and pat her on the head as I sit, she smiles and then looks at the Mayor but then back at me "Do you think he looks upset?"
"Guilty I think" she nods then turns to James no doubt to ask him the same question. Five minutes later the door swings open and Katniss bursts in, in a leather jacket
"One day drama free that was all frigging I asked for" and she collapses in to the chair next to me and finds my hand
"What's happened?" Indi asks and the mayor's face darkens
"Well firstly in the early hours of this morning I dropped of my first load of game at the cottage then went back out but when I returned I open the door and a dead person falls out from behind it and whoever shot her was no bloody good at it they missed four times and then hit her once killing her and that person who died, was your daughter" and she looks down the table at the mayor, well she never was any good at the whole braking it gently stuff he just looks at her his expression unchanged "But that is not all when I first got there I find that the black market has been completely burnt down by the peacekeepers the fence is electrified apart from one o'clock– two o'clock in the afternoon and eleven o'clock-one o'clock in the morning and then I go to my new house to find someone has been in there and destroyed a wall in my baby's nursery that we spent days on just to write 'with reason' on back to front and then to finish me off it said 'SNOW' of all people then I go to the square to find a dozen starving people who are all almost dead so I'm not really having the best day ever, oo I found your Dad he is fine he is in the infirmary helping some people, he wanted to come" and this is a relief and a kick in the gut and a big bummer and a bit annoying and sad and who the hell has been in my house and wrote on my baby's wall all mixed in to one feeling
"I killed her" and we all look up at the mayor "I shot her and her mother in that house it was empty and it looked disused I pinned them up agenised the door and shot them I was shaking so badly I missed them they both fell to the ground so I got on the plane back that you were supposed to get on."
"You killed your own daughter Ed don't you see that?" Katniss looks astonished at his confession
"Yeah I know"
"Why? Why take away a lovely girl how did she deserve it, she was a lovely girl who loved you very much and you did that, I have spent hours reassuring myself that none of this was my fault but had no luck. WHY DID YOU KILL MADGE?" Katniss shouts across the table
"She was poison, her and that Mother of hers and I did it because Snow would have taken her anyways I know his plot, she told me – she was one of them she knew what he planned on doing so I killed her out of love and hate. She betrayed the rebellion, she betrayed me I had to stop her - shut her up before she leaked to Snow, I'm sorry" and Katniss drops in to her chair
"How? The girl who gave me the pin the girl I sold strawberry's to on the day of the reaping the same girl Gale argued with, how she could do that" Katniss mutters
"I wrote on the wall too but never got time to finish it. That blue haired freak show turned up knocking on the door, I panicked and left I didn't realise that it was for your baby" I was about to butt in but Katniss clearly has it under control
"Who did you think the crib was as for? Me, Peeta, my Mother or Prim? You all know that I am pregnant so it dosent takes genius to work out who the room is going to be for but that aside, what is this plan?"
"There is a plot to kidnap Haymich but they still think he is in twelve so we need to send him back there-,"
"Ehmm hello you do realise I am here and I do have a mind of my own, why me?" Haymich waves his hands above his head wildly
"You know lots about Katniss and Peeta plus their whereabouts the plan and the games you are good use to them"
"Then why not Indi or James or Ben or Prim why me"
"One they don't know Indi exists two Prim is too young and might misunderstand things three they don't think James and Ben know anything but you however are their mentor you are supposed to know everything" the mayor says and Haymich nods in understanding and pipes down so Katniss can speak
"How do we know we can trust you then?"
"I know valuable information and I speak the truth I killed my daughter to protect your secret"
"Oww great thanks, so now it is my fault that Madge is dead is it? well my hands are clean no blood on them" I look at my own hands then show them to everyone on the table just to prove a point "That is apart from your mess because I carried her to the ship and to the infirmary I found her but you killed her and if it is true then I thank you but right now I don't think we really have much of a choice but to trust your word and send Haymich back to twelve with protection and a tracker of some sort maybe then he can find some things out about it all then we can rescue him ok" and she looks at Indi
"Yeah just use me as bait" and he slumps back in his chair sarcastically
"Sorry Haymich" she says
"It's fine I will help in any way I can, so when will I go back?"
"Tonight" and the whole room erupt in madness even Indi is shouting at the mayor, Ed. Sealena looks astonished as she slips out the room then I have a go at Ed too joining my fiancé then she turns and looks right in to my eyes and says to me
"What a life we have" and laughs and then she kisses me right here while everything around us falls apart, I slide my hands around her neck and kiss her back. This lasts as usual a matter of minutes because the noise dampens down a bit and we pull away resting our foreheads agenised each other's
"When are we going to have a holiday or some form of brake from this madness that dosent involve someone dying or Snow sticking his nose in or an arena popping up" I whisper
"Never, that will never happen to us but my holiday is every day, I have not had as much fun as I have the last few days as I have had my whole life so many arguments and fights and plots and plans its, fun!" and I laugh as she cuddles in to me as we listen to the argument that has took off again about god knows what, even Prim is getting stuck in complaining about his remark about her, she is standing on a chair looking, intimidating, James and Ben are fighting – why I do not know and Indi is watching us and smiling and Haymich follows her gaze but it is quickly redirected when Prim screams for him do vouch for her, that is why you do not argue with Primrose Everdean you will always loose and who dose she take after? That's right the girl I am cuddling in to right now. Then Indi snaps me out of it when she whistles getting everyone's attention bar my brothers who at that minute begin to punch each other, oww great yet another fight. I race over and prise James off Ben the way we did with Katniss and before I can object she has got Ben restrained. He keeps on fighting how she is holding on to him I do not know once it took me James and my father to hold him down when he had a fight at school, so imagine now- thought too soon. He manages to work his way free and runs up to James, I let go so my brother has a chance to defend himself and instantly blocks himself from being punched. That is when I get involved but this time I really get stuck in not just splitting them up actually fist fighting with them – well by them I mean Ben – I throw a punch and James just stops and looks at me but I keep going until Ben's brain kicks into gear and he starts defending himself, he even throws a punch or two and then James's turn comes and he punches him now. I punch James, after all I have to treat my brothers the same, but James will not punch me back so I just go and stand next to Katniss and Prim with my popped lip and bruised eye, two minutes later James shouts
"Your turn Peeta" and I push myself forwards off the table where I stood, walk over to where Ben stands, suddenly, he physically picks me up and walks over to where Katniss stands takes her hand and leads her and carry's me out side of the room and drops me and leaves her and Prim, shuts and locks the door so I bray on it until I hear James fighting my corner;
"What did you do that for? He can fight if he wants"
Then Ben's go "He is our little brother"
then James again "I don't care remember when you said to be equal well this is really being equal isn't it" and James opens the door for me as Indi and rushes out as I rush in closely followed by Katniss and Prim who joins Haymich on the table to watch as we single handily kill each other I kill Ben, Ben kills me then James kills Ben so it's all good, we always gang up on Ben though "HOY, GROW UP PEETA YOU HAVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND HER SISTER SITTING THERE AND YOU TWO SHOULD BE SETTING AN EXAMPLE, SORT IT OUT!" my Father shouts coming, he's back then and settling in nicely
"That is what we are doing" James snarls at him through his popped lips and Dad goes over and also physically lifts him up off Ben and stands him up yeah that is the thing with having four very strong boys under one roof you can just carry them to where you want them, not always ideal
"You are the oldest you should not be fighting"
"Well I am" and he dives back in
"Peeta?" it is my Mother coming to join my father I look up and she is looking at Katniss who hasn't noticed, so I get up of the floor where I was punching Ben from and let James take over for a while
"What" I ask her abruptly
"Why are you fighting again is she the reason?" and she points at Katniss who is still fixated on the fight
"I really don't know what it is about and she has a name"
"Sorry Peeta it's just so hard to see my kids fighting all the time" I nod and go sit next to Katniss who looks at me and giggles
"Have you seen your face you have a black eye, a popped lip loads of cuts you look pretty rough!" Katniss says laughing and Prim giggles too and so do I strangely
"Hey we have something to show you!" and I nod at Prim who drags her sister off the table and we head to the lift, press for floor eighty one and move upwards slowly, the doors slide open and I race Prim along the corridor to our room and twist the key, the door swings open and Prim goes in as I walk behind Katniss with my hands over her eyes, I guide her in and then remove them so she can see – first impressions she gasps – hopefully that is the good gasp
"How did you do this it is amazing and beautiful, thank you, I love you so much" and she gives me a hug
"Prim was a massive help" I say and Katniss picks up her sister and hugs her saying thank you to her too and then puts her down and Prim skids out of the open door and away. Katniss comes and hugs me again and then takes off her jacket and hangs it up in her wardrobe then lays on the bed and I copy her and we just stay there for hours just holding hands and saying nothing – peace and quiet for once – and it is so nice believe me.
Chapter 51 Haymich
I have had my month now in thirteen since Ed announced the plot, yes it has been a month, and I have been in training with Katniss and Peeta. They have been training so hard; she is five months pregnant now but she will not stop, she is doing all the same things as Peeta who goes training every morning without a fail. He always does maximum speed on the treadmill and get this, yesterday morning Katniss did the same, maximum speed and then she tried to lift the second lightest weight and did thirty before giving up! She is really remarkable and she keeps bargaining to fly with a pilot as the co-pilot. She goes hunting for greasy Sue who works in the kitchen, she gets me more liquor or beer or whatever she can get her hands on for me and then she and Peeta have painted over the red letters in the village and redecorated the whole house in one month! But today I am going to twelve to become a sitting duck! Even though I know that I am going to end up being captured that could be – get this – anything from a week to a year, how ridiculous is that but as long as the liquor holds out I will be fine, probably not remember half of it anyways, I will be absolutely gone.
So I get on to the ship and nod at Katniss and Peeta as the plane takes off and within minutes the plane is airborne and gaining altitude, fast. Now we are at one thousand feet and going about five hundred miles per hour. I see the forest of twelve first and then the fence, we start to drop down and we slow a little and the pilot switched to helicopter mode as we begin to hover over the justice square. Then we just fall to the ground, landing flat and easily. I climb off and walk to my victor's village house with my suitcase – filled with rum and liquor not clothes. When I open the door I realise that I am a really bad drinker looking around my seat where I sit, well it is almost gone buried in glass bottles and lids and to be honest that was from one day – the day the quell was announced – even though I already knew what was going to happen, they told us that Katniss has no other choice and Peeta and I should sort it out between ourselves. The peacekeepers were barely out of my house when he decided he was going in. Katniss and I both objected, my argument being if I go in I can help her win you are here's then you can be together and his being no because we have done this together and that is not about to change and Katniss's being one of us will have to die whether it be Haymich or you or me and Peeta tells her straight you are not going to be the one that dies so at the finish we leave the decision to Katniss, she chooses who goes in with her, she chose me! At first anyway and then changed her own mind by justifying her choice and decided Peeta should go in and that is just what happened. They have just been lucky, unlike some of the others but that depends on who you ask. Some might say it was them being strong, some might say it was me. Some might say it was luck or fate, but either way they are both out and I will keep protecting them. I don't care what the personal cost might be anymore as long as I have some beer and a bed I am fine. Besides Snow can't hurt me anymore - sorry I forgot to mention – he and his Father killed my family – my Mother, Father and sisters – for what, I haven't got a clue, for fun maybe, to prove a point? I don't want sympathy in fact he did me a huge favour. They were starving and no matter how much game her Dad brought it wasn't enough. They just couldn't keep it down. Their bodies didn't want the food offered. I don't bare a grudge for that anymore. Well one thing he did do is made me realise how much Katniss and Peeta do really mean to me and how badly I want them to be happy. I have never become attached to my tributes but they are strong and fighters. They fight for what they believe in – the same as me – rights.
Chapter 52 Katniss
"We would like to go back to twelve for two weeks, effective of today, please?" I plead in Indi's ninth floor office before her, Peeta beside me.
"Who will be going?" I work it out in my head. Greasy Sue is already there and so is Peeta's parent's that leaves….
"Peeta, Prim, James, Ben" Then I think of all those other people who are already there to collect their belongings that were left.
"Permission granted; I will get the ship ready for twelve. I will personally fly you there. I have some business to attend to" also known as Haymich, she smiles sweetly at me, why I don't know I mean at first I thought she was normal but now I think she is just really creepy and freaky. Yesterday she was in our compartment, but we never let her in, we had been at training all day. Meaning she had let herself in and she couldn't have used the private lift because you need to use the key to the room to unlock the button. Then you can press it so it really doesn't make sense how she got in. We have all the keys, Peeta, Prim, James and me, yeah we thought best NOT to give Ben one!
"Ok, that's good, Indi is there anyway, you could like un-electrify the fence so I have more freedom of times to be in there?"
"I will see what I can do. I'll have a looksee in Beete and wirus's workshop ok"
"Ok thanks" We turn and walk out, Peeta and I, then head to the gym for an hours training before the ship comes.
We skip the treadmills and go on the weights. I sit and watch Peeta; I make him up weights acting all coachy. "Put seventy kilograms with sixty kilograms then see" It is ridicules I know, how on gods earth someone can lift things that heavy but so far he has managed to do it effortlessly. I would hate to see how heavy James can pick up or their Dad. Peeta puts the weights onto either side of the pole while it rests on the stand then lies down underneath it, places his hands evenly apart and lifts. I can see the way his veins pop out of his arms as he brings it up and then pops back in as he brings it down again. He repeats it ten times, and then stops.
"Well we have found the challenging one then!" and he laughs.
"Here let me try" and I walk over to it. I have been doing a little bit myself but not this heavy. I struggled on the fifth lightest so I have no chance but I'm going to try. We don't even know if I should be using the weights giving the fact that I am five and a half months pregnant but Indi has seen me doing it and said nothing so has Prim so we just presume that I will be fine.
"Lie down and keep your head flat" he says smiling above me.
"Right, and if I can't get it on to the pole again after one, will you put it back for me?"
"NA!" and he giggles. Here it goes then. I place my hands where Peeta had his moments ago and I strain really hard on my arms trying to extend them. Peeta physically gets a ruler off the nearby desk as I lift it puts it next to the pole and the hold. He lets out a little laugh "three centimetres well done" he says teasingly and smiles.
"Give me two hours and I'll have it six centimetres just you watch" and I try not to laugh and lose all of my strength not like there is much to start with.
"Here." He comes and stands behind me then kneels placing his hands on mine. He then lifts it clean off the hold, outstretching my arms completely, and then pushes it gently forward so it is in line with my chest. Then down, then up, then down. Indi comes in at that moment and sees us.
"WOW how heavy that is Katniss and are you doing that by yourself?"
"It is one thousand and three hundred and YEAH it is all me." Then I can't help but laugh. I really hope laughing doesn't have the same effect on Peeta as it does on me because it will crush my windpipe and my spine but it is ok, he holds strong and stops this lethal thing from compressing my insides and even cutting me in half – maybe a little dramatic – I get it from Prim she has finally rubbed off on me. We knew this day would come eventually!
"Come on then. They are filling up the tank, and then we are off. So go have a shower and pack ok"
"Yeah." I breathlessly get out as Peeta lifts the hefty metal weight on to the hold. I swear my back cracks when I get up, I can almost hear it. Then Peeta comes round to join me. We stand and hug for a while when he speaks
"What is the date?"
"Fifteenth of December why?"
"When is the baby going to be born?" I actually don't know. I never thought to ask Prim that and she never thought to tell me but I know that I am twenty weeks or five months. So I start to work it out in my head. So two more weeks, that takes me up to the end of this month and then four months after that. So around about thirtieth of April, or the first of May next year.
"Thirtieth of April or the first of May I think. That is just a guess though; I'll ask Prim when we see her, she will tell us better" He hugs me again then we get in to the lift and shoot down to the compartment in the private lift, not the public one. The one that you need the compartment key to press the button because it leads straight into the room. Once we are down there, I go in the shower first and then Peeta so I can dry and plait my hair properly. It takes me ten minutes then I just lie on the bed while Peeta gets ready looking at our beautiful room. Peeta has made an amazing job. The flowers are gorgeous and how he did the washed out effect I don't know. It hasn't run and it hasn't smudged.
"Come on then, are you ready?" he says next to the lift smiling. I nod and follow him into the lift. It glides up to the security floor where they check us and we speak with the pilot but I think we can skip that bit. As the doors jerk open I see that Prim and my Mother are waiting along with his brothers.
"Hey" I say cheerily and only Prim smiles back, so I look up at Peeta.
"What's wrong?" questions Peeta. He is looking straight at James to explain what the matter with them all is.
"Peeta I need to talk to you, come on" and he leads Peeta away and I look at Prim who is still smiling but it isn't her usual smile it is different, fake.
"What's wrong?" I ask looking at Ben and his Mum
"Katniss come here" his Mum, Emma says and leads Ben and me to a nearby seat and Prim follows.
"Prim no, not now, go look after Mum for me" I ask her gently.
"She is fine she will find out eventually anyway, it might as well be now" Ben says.
"Mathew isn't part of our family, he never was so don't be mad at us or god forbid Peeta - see your Dad was killed by- I don't think I should be the one to tell you this, actually, your Mum should; she already knows" she says sounding relived that she might not have to tell me what it is that involves my Dad but she isn't getting away with it that easily
"What! you told her before me, she will have gone mad I know it, she won't be able to remember where she is or who you are, please Emma tell me"
"It was... Mathew" and she hangs her head in shame
"I don't understand" Prim says as my hand takes to my face, Ben comes and puts his arm around my shoulder and I don't slip away. Yes it is a shock but no, that is not in my instinct or nature I have to deal with these things. I turn to Prim
"Can you remember how Dad died?" and she shakes her head, of course she can't, she was six when it happened
"It was a mine explosion, he was next to the person who started it so when it blew, he was really badly burnt along with the man and two others and what Emma here is saying is that Mathew was the one who started it – hang on then how is he a peacekeeper?"
"He wasn't there; it was a Capitol mission that he was assigned to. The man next to your Dad was framed according to these documents. Gale has just gave me them. Katniss, I am so sorry" of course Gale is involved he always is in some way. She starts to cry so I go and give her a hug as she sobs into my shoulder "Are you mad at Peeta or us as a family?" her shaky voice just about manages to choke out
"No of course not, he is not part of your family like you said you had no part in this; you couldn't have known because it was top secret, wasn't it" and she nods absolutely braking her heart then Prim comes and sits on my knee cuddling in to me
"I HAVE TO FIND HIM NOW" Peeta is coming back down the hall by the sounds of it and Prim leaps off my knee and Ben relives me of his Mum "OH MY GOD, Katniss I am so sorry, I swear I never knew !" and he lifts me off the ground a little hugging me and we start swaying
"James" Prim comes over to him and he picks her up
"Prim I'm so sorry I'm just like everyone else I didn't know" and Prim clings on to him
"Indi get me to the Capitol and locate Mathew Lockley now I need to find him" it's Robert talking to Indi and she nods and goes on to the radio, I wonder how he knows his adopted name?
"I have to go see my Mum" I say letting go of Peeta and walking over to her where she has sank to the ground and rocking back and forth saying Joe, Joe, Joe repeatedly over and over again so I crouch in front of her and surprise myself. I hug her outright; she is shaking "Mum listen to me ok, now we know who took him from us-."
"Poison the whole lot of them" and she deliberately raises her voice and they all look at her
"Mum, it is not their fault they didn't know"
"This isn't you Katniss you would have killed them by now"
"Yes I would have if I thought they were responsible"
"POISON" and I did something I haven't done in a very long time I slap her across the face
"NO, Mum you are poison they didn't know and I am sick of you making little remarks about them like that, they are not poison, ok. They have had the guts to tell you haven't they? But Mum they disowned him he wasn't their responsibility" and I get up leaving her side and they have all stopped to watch her flip
"Who's side are you on here, mine or the murderers ehh" and I turn to look at her then go over to where Peeta stands with his family and Prim are and back in to Peeta's arms
"My family's" and she glares at me then leaves the room via the stairs "I am so sorry I don't know why she has done that I was expecting her to slip away like when he died I'm so sorry!" I say but my eyes are fixed on the doors, Peeta still has his arms around me
"It's fine it is not your fault" Robert says and Emma agrees so I look at Peeta
"I'm sorry Peeta" and he turns me round and pulls me in to hug me tightly
"I'm not going any were, I don't care what your Mother says I will stand by you so will James and Ben" I look up at him and he kisses me and for a minute I actually forget the whole thing until Prim comes and stands beside me cuddling in to me
"Come on, we need to get you lot to twelve by tonight Katniss is your Mum still coming?" Indi interrupts mine and Peeta's kiss, grrr, can't I have five bloody minutes seriously it is driving me mad. I glance around and they all agree that she should come, all except me that is but I let he come.
On the ship I sit with Peeta on the opposite side to her and Prim, why Prim wants to be with her I do not know because at the minute she is vermin to me, after all that she calls my family poison, my fiancé poison and until she apologises it can stay that way, yet again, thought too soon she starts to work her way up the plane talking to the Malark's as she works her way to us, I spot Prim and she locks' eyes on mine and she mouths please.
"I'm sorry, Katniss, Peeta I am so sorry, I know I didn't handle that very well, it is one extreme to the next at the moment , please can we make up Katniss I am sick if fighting" she pleads to me
"Ok" and I give her a hug and she gives Peeta one too, crazy right
"Prepare for landing" Indi speaks over the speakers and about five minutes later the hold door slides open and we slide out, we walk to the village and you know what it is like the old days, people out with their families, kids playing games in the street and we get to our house and everything dose feel normal even though it is not the seam house it is now our home, I open the door to let us all in, I go and sit on the sofa with Peeta, we watch the telly and then I fall asleep, even after what I have just found out it have a dreamless sleep.
When I wake I am in bed, I look at the calendar in Peeta's and mine room it is the seventeenth I have been asleep for almost two days! I get up and plod down the stairs and no one is there but I can hear Prim giggling. I look out of the blinds and there she is with my Mum, James and, get this, Haymich they are GARDENING! I open the front door "Morning" Prim beams and so dose Haymich right I am officially freaked out!
"Where is Peeta?"
"At the bakery!" and I dart up the stairs, hop in the shower and then get dressed and put my hair in a neat bun then I am out of the house and down the road to the little bakery, the bell rings as I walk in and James sees me
"I wondered where you have been" and he comes and gives me a hug then shouts for his brother
"What?" and then he sees me sitting on the seat next to the window and rushes over to me, I stand and he hugs me for ages then puts me down and then kisses me, god you would think I have been out for a week, but saying that, this was what I was like in the arena. He sits opposite me as James brings out a cup of coffee for me and one for Peeta too, he fills me in on what has happened and stuff like that and to be honest it sounds boring so that equals luxury!
"What do you want to do?" he asks me holding hands over the table, I think of what we should do, then it comes to me
"Peeta, have you ever been in the woods?"
"No" and he looks at me
"Do you want me to show you?" and he looks shocked
"But Katniss that is your place where you go, your retreat!" I nod and change my mind as much as I love Peeta it is my place but unfortunately Gale knows of that place but he had a reason why he knew, to help me
"Well what can we do?" I ask smiling
"Go for a walk" James suggests and I look at Peeta who nods, I stand up and go to the door Peeta close behind me. I wait for him at the bottom of the bakery path as he hangs up his apron and Ben takes over his shift, when he reaches me we hold hands and walk deeper and deeper in to the victors village, somewhere I have never been, I wonder if there is a wire on that side too, I always just go to the meadow so this is new territory for me it's actually exiting. We don't speak for ages we just walk holding hands looking at the houses all of which are identical to ours, well except for Peeta's that has a bakery where the study is at mine
"Where have you been sleeping the last two nights?" I ask randomly trying to break the silence that is very awkward and something that has never happened before between us
"At mine, why?" he asks not looking at me
"Just wondering, Peeta what is the matter?" I ask picking up on this weirdness buzzing between us
"You know what the matter with me" he says looking right in to my eyes
"No I don't"
"What my brother did to you, to your family" and he lets go of my hand and heads back to our part of the village away from me
"PEETA!" but he dosent listen, he just keeps going and I consider going after him but decide not to, just let him, he won't listen to me, I sit down to the curb and rest my head in my hands, I have forgave him for what has happened but then again there was never an issue with Peeta or his family Mathew was not part of their family when it happened. He even has a different name now he is Mathew Lockley, then I see it on the ground the first sign of snow, the first snow of winter, but this year I have a feeling Peeta will not be with me he is clearly hurt by his 'brothers' actions even though he is not responsible in the slightest, I sit and watch the snow tumble down around me and I make no attempt to move, I hope Peeta is watching the snow right now.
Chapter 53 Peeta
"I can't do this!" I say walking in to the bakery looking and talking to James
"What do you mean?" and he looks at me puzzled
"I can't even look at her without feeling sick!"
"That's a nice way to talk about her; you need to update your complimentary system" Ben pipes up
"Shut up" I snarl at him as James comes round the corner and put his arm round me
"Peeta why, you have nothing to do with it, Katniss dosent seem to have a problem with you at all so you need to forget it" and I shake my head
"I can't though, I have just left her!"
"WHAT, she is your fiancé and is carrying your baby pull together mate, she needs you and you need her, so go and find her now!" I obey his orders and leave again, it has begun to snow too, I start to run down the lane and she is sitting on the curb, snow settling on top of her head, I stop. I can't do it something inside of me screams no don't it is all your fault, I spin to my right and open a gate to a random empty house and let myself in without a care in the world I shut the door quietly then race up the stairs, this is the exact layout of our house but everything is on the opposite side, the stairs are on the left in mine and Katniss's house, they are on the right in here but then again this house is on the opposite side of the road to the house we live and the bakery is the same because it is on the same side as this one. Where my parents James and Ben live has been altered so this is all new to me, I go into the front room where there is a bed and a small window, I look out she is still sitting there looking shocked and cold, I want to go and get her but I can't, I feel like a coward, I am a coward, I should be out there helping her but I am in here hiding, I put my hand to my face, she has started to cry, and believe me I want to too, I want to just sit here and cry my eyes out forever and ever and then go and hang my brother for what he has done because now I can't look after my fiancé that is if I haven't blew it all, I pull myself together take one last look out of the window and dart down the stairs and out the front door, I burst into a run down the block to her as I reach her I just grab her and kiss her for ages, I haven't got the words to say to her so I just kneel next to her, my arms wrapped around her neck with hers round mine and for once we just kiss, I have been such an idiot, I don't know what I was thinking, she is the one I love more than anyone else in the world, more than my brothers and my parents, what an idiot I have been. But we just keep on kissing until we are out of breath, then I rest my forehead on hers and whisper "I'm so sorry" and she shakes her head then kisses me again, we sit there on the curb letting the Snow collect on our heads and any other flat surface it can find and cling on to.
An hour later and we make a move I stand up and help her up "How about that walk then?"
"Yeah ok" she says and grabs my hand "Don't blame yourself I have forgotten it now the fact still remains he is dead even without the details of whom and how, I don't care, it happened seven years ago, you and our baby is what matters!"
"I know" and we start on the road we did almost two hours ago, we walk for about an hour and the snow is at my ankles but we keep going "Well what a day this has been" she says while giggling then she drops my hand and scoops up a handful of snow, I do the same, then we pelt them off one another and keep going, then I go and pick her up and put her over my shoulder where she laughs and screeches then I walk to the white hill where it was once green and put her in the snow on her back where she laughs her head off, I turn around and she pulls me to the ground too, we both lie there giggling and suffering brain freeze just the way it should be not what I have just done earlier but I need to forget that now at focus on her and having a family I look to my left and see her turned on her side to face me, she is smiling at me "What" I laugh the she puts her hand that is full of snow right in to my face and scrubs me, low, very, very low, so I do it back to her and so on we go, then James comes hurrying along the path
"What the hell happened to you two; you have been gone for four hours!" and we both laugh at his tone he sounds so mummyly about it then Prim comes and joins him
"Mummy and Haymich have invited you to come for tea they have made it!"
"OWW, how considerate of them considering is our house!" she says and we all giggle apart from Prim who stands with her hands on her hips
"How do you know it is at our house?"
"WELL they have been there all day so it is just a guess, so where is it?"
"At ours" she mumbles. Katniss gets a snow ball and throws it at her little sister who has turned away, it hits her and she spins around to look at us, Katniss points at me and I point at James who points at Katniss, Prim gets a snowball and chucks it at Katniss and James and I laugh but we are soon shut up as it is me next but James is right next to her so she goes up to him and stands on her tippy toes then scrubs him so at the finish we all have a massive snowball fight until dark!
At six o'clock we start back to the house, my hands are numb and locked around Katniss's as we trudge through the inches deep snow. It has now snowed for three hours with no let off and it is still going plus a wind is picking up, Prim is bugging James up front, she keeps on scrubbing him, that I find amusing until she throws one of me and I get her back for
"We have to hurry tea is going to be ready at ten past" she announces at five past and we all hurry up arriving at ten past on the dot "HI!" her Mum says cheerily "Where is James"
"He has gone to get changed" Katniss says running up the stairs after Prim, me closely behind them and as Katniss as I get in to our room I have a thought: is Haymich and Nadinear going out!? And as if she read my mind Katniss speaks "Do you think my Mum and Haymich are going out?" she says taking her top off
"I was just thinking that, I don't know"
"I hope not" and she puts her new top on and a pair of capital provided/ stolen jeans then we head down to the table where everyone sits waiting for us. We slide in to the seats next to each other that everyone has left for us then we all start to eat, even my Mother and Father have had the audacity to turn up – NO – I need to stop this right now all is forgotten about and we have all agreed that this has nothing to do with our family it is the Lockley family's fault they have brought him up mot mine they just gave birth to him! I think to myself while eating the roasted bird and veg until Haymich pipes up "Well that was nice and it was shot by Katniss herself" and she nods
"Well they don't call me a hunter for nothing!" and she stands to start collecting the plates one by one then carry's them into the kitchen where I follow her "Did you see my Mother she couldn't keep her eyes off him!" she says quietly whilst running the hot water "That will be wired saying drunken mentor and step Dad, ehmm no thanks" and she laughs turning the hot water tap off "Prim it is your turn to do the dishes, I have done them for you the first night we got here so come on" and you can hear her screech her chair back and come to the sink "you wash I'll dry, deal?" and she nods to her sister
"Peeta there is some beer in the fridge if you want it?" Nadinear says coming in with the cups and I go over to the fridge and get the small can out, also Capitol provided but this time it is not stolen, the district get rations of it but we get our own supply in fancy cans. I open the lid and start to drink it
"Can I have some, I have never tried it?" Prim asks from next to her sister
"NO!" Katniss says "Prim you are twelve years old" and she has a point, I can drink because I am seventeen and so can Katniss but obviously she is pregnant so she can't
"Just a sip please"
"One sip but don't tell Mum ok promise me" and Prim is coming towards me
"Ok I promise" and I pass her the bottle but no she dosent take a sip she takes the biggest sip possible
"Prim!" she screams almost laughing
"Ehh Peeta that is awful how can you drink that?"
"Because you are supposed to sip it!" I say taking the bottle back off her before she ends up like Haymich
"I did sip it"
"Well that is the biggest sip I have ever seen" and she sticks her tongue out at me and I copy her like a big kid making Katniss laugh as she is putting the dry dishes away in the cupboards when there is a knock on the back door me and Katniss exchange worried and startled glances then she goes to the door and I get a hold of Prim so she dosent run after her
"Hello I believe you are Katniss is my half-brother here?" says a deep voice
"Depends who that is" she says
"Don't talk to me like that"
"I will talk to you how I please this is my house and I would like to know who you are and who you want, well?" that's my cheeky, back chatting and obnoxious Katniss back
"Prim if I asked you to stay here would you?" I whisper to her and she just shakes her head – no of course she wouldn't I walk to the door to see an intimidating blond haired man who looks to be about twenty eight maybe younger
"I would like to speak to James Malark please"
"Who the hell are you, I don't even know who you are and you want to be in my house, I don't think so mate!" she snarls at him then I click it is Mathew
"Yes that would be me" I say stepping forward and Katniss looks at me in astonishment then goes to tell James to keep out of the way "What do you want Mathew you are not welcome here anymore!" I say
"Some Capitol documents have gone missing James" He clearly isn't bright or hasn't watched the games because I am not James and look nothing like him apart from the hair and the eyes but that is it "and you know what they are about now, you know I killed Katniss's Father, so we have some unsettled business"
"Yes you are right, we do" and I punch him where it counts because let's face it he is almost twice my age so I can fight dirty, he staggers backwards and I fit in yet another punch and a blow to the face "YOU KILLED MY FIANCÉ'S FATHER, I AM PEETA YOUR YOUNGEST – NO NOT EVEN THAT!" I say right in his battered face "Nice dealing with you- don't call again soon" and I turn and walk back to the door, in the reflection of the glass I see him hurdling towards me, I stop and brace myself, then as he comes into contacted with my back I flip him clean over my head, and he lands in a heap on the back garden patio I bend down and whisper in his ear "Beaten by a seventeen year old mate, that is what your games gets you" I bet that particularly burnt his pride and I walk back in to the house so see wide eyes off Nadinear, Haymich, Ben, Prim, my Mother, Father and even James who know I can do things like that effortlessly!
"OH MY GOD, WHO WAS THAT?" James and my Mother say in harmony but with different meanings to the tone- James's was more of a and what did he ever do to you tone- laid back and my Mother's being- is he ok who was he- freaked out tone
And then James says "It was Mathew wasn't it"
"Yep" Katniss and I say at the same time then smile at each other "He knows we know about him killing Joe"
"How" James asks
"He just said that some Capitol documents have gone missing James and you know what they are about now, you know I killed Katniss's Father, so we have some unsettled business so I faked being you then beat him up like I said I would if I ever saw him" then Prim points looking terrified at him getting up off the patio looking like a raging bull with a slapped face, he looks pretty funny though! He charges for the door and brays on it although we are all looking through the clear glass door
"I'll go" Katniss says stepping forward
"No" Haymich says making her turn and he looks at her bump meaning is that a good Idea Katniss and to everyone's surprise she nods then comes and stands beside me and we lock hands looking at this man as Haymich opens the door, Prim runs and hides behind me, and the man storms in
"Please do come in!" Katniss says in a posh sarcastic voice and from behind me I hear a very faint snigger from a shaking Prim "Would you like a beer or a cup of tea or I even do beatings free for murderers' " and he shoots her a dirt look and her reply: a cold, arrogant look that sets like stone on her face as she locks eyes with my – the murderer "What is it then" she argues, eyes, not flinching from his
"I came to talk"
"Oww did you, so this talk will it undo the explosion, will it bring back my Dad, will it give me back my childhood, cos I'll tell you if you can do that you will be a millionaire by the end of the month. In this district the amounts of people you lot have killed over the year, trust me one dollar per family and you'll be fine!" she says so confidently the rest of us might as well not be here. She seems to have it under control.
"Do you want to join your Dad?" And as quick as anything she shoots him down in flames
"Do you want to meet the devil, I'm sure you will get on like a house on fire. Funny that you seem to like fire, especially burning innocent minors to death!"
"I will come over there and hit you if don't shut it" and again
"Yeah, so you would hit a pregnant girl, but then you will just end up getting beat up by a pregnant girl, you see I am a hunter and curtsy to you lot I have picked up a few fighting tips that will kill someone in an arena so I'm sorry but you don't have a cat in hells chance, oo there we go again with hell it must be a sign it is being used an awful lot since you arrived!"
"Why are you getting involved in something that doesn't concern you one bit?" and she sees complete red at that
"I don't know you, but what I do know is that if it hadn't of been for you I would still have my Dad. If it weren't for you my Mother and I would have a better relationship. If it weren't for you I wouldn't have had to bring up my sister. So yes it does concern me as far as I can see, so if you would be so kind next time you fancy killing someone kill one of those blooming Capitol people. You were clearly meant to be with them. You are a murderer, just like them and you make me sick. So give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you?"
"You are pregnant." What a week answer Matty boy.
"Yeah so how come it is ok to throw me in an arena knowing that. You put a deadly tracker into my baby so it will die when it is born! So that is not a blooming option! I will gladly kill you any day whether that be now, when I am in labour or on my death bed. I will gladly kill you then meet you in hell, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to pay. I'm going there anyway mate, life for a life I say. Ever thought how you will die Mathew then?"
"Look I'm sorry I was just following orders"
"So what if one of your bro-." Then she stops herself "Old acquaintances were down there, or did you not give a shit if they were?" she looks so angry and you can tell that word just spilled out
"I didn't care. They were nothing to me. I didn't know Peeta existed, just James and I never liked him!"
"Oww so that is ok then, who cares if someone loses their Father like I did or husband like my Mother did. I would just like to tell you something, your plan worked. The man was framed for your crime and they all died all four of them. One of them never got to meet its unborn child, and Peeta and I knew that feeling only too well! But we have never experienced it only imagined it and that was bad enough so can you imagine that knowing that your husband will never get to meet the baby that you are carrying? Do you have any kids or a wife?"
"No"
"Well if someone sees through that poisonous and blood stained skin of yours. I hope you get a chance in your perfect Capitol life of yours to feel the pain those four families' felt, especially that poor man's family who have been convinced by others and the justice service that their loved one is a murderer for seven years. Well I will take great pleasure in telling them that the allegations are false and they are innocent! Or should we make you do it, in front of all of twelve's population?" He goes quiet as she leaves my side and walks towards him, and then whispers "You still haven't told me what you want, a beer, tea or a beating from me. Tell you what I'll even put a one way ticket to hell on the table for you" she says and then knees him between the legs. She turns away as he crumbles and falls to the ground and she has a satisfied look on her face. She walks up the stairs looking so dignified. Well I couldn't have done that better myself! I look around the room at the surprised faces.
"She's back" Haymich says "She never lost that feisty flame did she."
"No" Nadinear says sounding slightly shaken
"What just happened" Prim says sounding completely baffled by it all
"Well who wants a beer?" I say heading to the kitchen, I certainly need one
"MEEEEEE" Prim says bounding after me
"NOOOOO" I reply copying her cheekily
"Not even one sips"
"EHMM, No" and I toss Haymich two bottles Nadinear one and the rest of them one. Then I empty out the bottle she drank from earlier and fill it with water for Prim, this should be funny
"Prim, here" and I pass her the bottle and Nadinear looks at me but I wink at her and she nods then continues talking to my brothers
"Thank you, thank you and thank you, I love you, love you, love you" then she takes a gulp of the 'beer' "its water!" she shouts laughing and I nod laughing my head off "Can we pour it on Mathew please, like my contribution to what Katniss has already done"
"Yeah go on" this is mine and Katniss's house after all, we walk out of the kitchen and down to where he is still keeled over in pain, rather you than me pal, and she tips the water over his head not showing any mercy making everyone stop their convosation to look at the now drenched Mathew "James" I shout over the noise, he looks over "Where is Mum and Dad?"
"Mam ran out when he came in said it brought back memories Dad went after her, haven't seen them since" and I look at him that means they have been gone a hour, they could be any were and James almost reads my thoughts and comes to stand beside me and Prim
"Prim stay here and look after the party thing or whatever it is right we need to go fine our Mum and Dad ok"
"OK, Peeta can we build a snow man tomorrow please"
"Yeah sure right we are counting on you" and we run out the house via the front door, the snow is still going strong and hasn't let up all night, no foot prints "we should try the house first"
I say and James agrees. We trudge across the road to my family's house and bakery directly opposite, James opens the door with the house key and steps in "Hello?" he shouts, nothing, he just goes to shout again when I hear a whimper from the kitchen and walk in to the living space then into the kitchen from there, my Mother sits in the corner between two cupboard doors, breaking her heart, I go and sit with my side to her and James beside her almost boxing her in
"You don't know how hard it was to give him up regardless when you give birth to a baby you have a bond that forms and believe me it is very hard to brake it and although he was ten when we gave him up, he was my eldest baby and I loved him, but now I don't love him, I have never forgotten him but I feel bad for never giving him a chance"
"Mum you are better off without him you heard the things he said Mum he is poison, a real Capitol boy!"
"Peeta I hate him that is the problem no Mother should hate their child no matter what they have done but I really hate him and couldn't care less if Katniss killed him right now!"
"Well she sorted him out ok, put it this way he won't be walking for a while or coming back here either, now were is Dad?" and she shrugs her shoulders
"He went for a walk"
"Where?" James presses
"Don't know, why?" and James gets up, runs to the front door and away to find my Dad while I stay with our Mother, I move round to were James was just sitting moments ago and cuddle her until she stops shaking then help her up to bed, once she is asleep I go and sit on the sofa until James and my Dad come tumbling in "He is very drunk!" James says almost carrying him up the stairs so I head back to mine where everyone is VERY drunk, Mathew is fast asleep on the same spot he sank to almost half an hour ago still soaking but other than that the place is as you would expect it to be, so I go up to mine and Katniss's room on the third floor, it is the biggest and the guest room is up there, we have balcony and a window seat plus a en-suit and walk-in-wardrobe, it is the biggest room in the house even beating the living and dining room but the only thing is that is not next to the baby's room, the baby's room is downstairs next to Nadinear's and Prim's room. As I open the door and go round the corner I see that she is sitting on the window seat
"Hey" I say sitting so I face her, my back against the wall looking out of the window
"You are going to stay here tonight?"
"Yeah the only reason I haven't been here was I didn't want to wake you that is all" and then she turns around leaning into me, I cuddle her in tightly, we will probably just sleep here tonight its fairly comfy and you can see the snow falling
"It's still snowing"
"Yep it is getting heavier now and it looks like it is in for the night!"
"Cool, Prim will want to make a snow man she always dose"
"Yep she has already asked" and I kiss her good night, put my arms around her then drop off to sleep just like her then I realise that the balcony will fill up with snow really badly, I hope she closed the door, we have a bad habit of not closing it when we go to bed.
Chapter 54 Katniss
My sleep is dreamless yet I wake with a start, Prim, "Katniss, Katniss we are snowed in and look it is still snowing come on come on, and you know it is in your room too" I look up at Peeta, we forgot to close the balcony doors again, oops.
"Hey, I had that at five o'clock this morning when she woke up, I'm surprised that she didn't wake you up!" and I think back but have no recollection of her coming in at all last night or the early hours of this morning, she is tugging on my arm to get me up but is sit for a few more minutes then follow her down stairs to the living space
"Come on, come on!" and she almost drags me to the back door, Mathew I notice is still on the floor but is asleep
"What is he still doing here?" I ask Prim as I get to the back door "And why is he so wet?"
"Lloonngg story look at the snow!" and we are in fact snowed in the snow has crept up the window pane of the door by about four inches
"PEETA!" I shout up the stairs then go to join Prim in the kitchen "Where is Haymich, James and Ben?"
"Haymich is in the study and James is upstairs in the spare and Ben is at his house looking after his Mum and Dad and our Mum is in my room!"
"Which study is Haymich in?" we have two, one upstairs and one downstairs, I particularly like the downstairs one because the door to it is under the stairs and you have to walk actually under the stairs to get to the door into the study it is like a secrete hiding place the entrance is next to the mirror and it is pretty big too
"Downstairs, we couldn't get him upstairs he was just a little drunk last night and passed out so I dragged him in to the study and Mum was a little drunk and fell asleep in my room, James is in the spare room and I was in the nursery on the window seat like you, But I didn't go to sleep I was just watching the Snow falling it was really heavy and it still is!" I hear Peeta coming down the stairs
"Morning!" Prim says just a little too loudly for Peeta's hangover, he also had a tad too much to drink last night, why does every one seem to be drunk or Sycos or looking for a fight in this house: me being looking for a fight Mathew being the Syco and everyone else apart from Prim be the drunk ones, crazy isn't it, but somehow I can smell beer in her breath but I won't press the matter
"Can we build the snow man now?" she asks clearly not giving him the chance to wake up
"Yeah ok" he agrees
"You'll have to dig your way out we are snowed in pretty badly" I announce just then Prim opens the front door and the drift collapses in all over the carpet
"OOPS!" she says then Peeta and I say in perfect harmony:
"YOU THINK" and then we all laugh until Haymich groans then starts banging on the door and pushing it when it is pull
"Let me out" he wails then groans again, Peeta walks over to the door and pushes it from the outside and Haymich almost falls out of the study "I need more beer, yes that's what's required" and staggers off to the kitchen, I look at Peeta in astonishment, he knows our house better than we do. I look down at the pile of snow in the house
"HUU, it'll give Mum something to do!" and we try to walk thought the deep snow, Peeta, Prim and I are all in the same clothes from yesterday night
"Peeta, please can you give me a piggy back?" Prim says flashing her eyes at him
"Prim we can barely walk never mind having you on his back!" I say looking at her
"I'm really light" she brags
"That depends who you ask though" I tease
"Please" she begs and he looks at me then rolls his eyes I do the same, he is far too soft on her but then again so am I
"Go on then but after what you ate last night I doubt you will be a feather" and she jumps on his back, we make our way to the hill where we were yesterday, it takes about half an hour to get there from my house and when we arrive we are all wet and cold, that is everyone except Prim, she has had a piggy back all the way here, Peeta just carried on like normal just walking effortlessly (as well as can be done six inches under snow) it's funny that, now he knows what it is like to carry two peoples body weights not just your own, but I guess he had it harder, Prim is twelve after all, looks like I have an easy life! No, not even I could be that convincing my life is a lot of things but easy is NOT one of them
"Well that was tiring wasn't it" Prim says sighing and Peeta looks at her wide eyed and I can't help but laugh at his response
"Tiring isn't it!" I say walking up to the top next to him Prim up front and he nods unable to laugh
"I think at the top" Prim says "Peeta can I have another piggy back please" and then laughs "Katniss?"
"Go on then just to the top" I say and she jumps on my back, she is surprisingly light for her age, I guess those days long ago when we were starving and she was like a feather have never been reversed she is really light and any sympathy I had for Peeta have disappeared especially the weight he can lift. I bet he would struggle to carry three people. Once we reach the top of the hill I drop Prim so she can start to make the snowman then sit next to Peeta in the deep snow that is still going but not as heavy that is another thing Dad taught me how to judge the weather by the clouds, and looking at the snow clouds that are a grey – white colour it is going to be a bit of a blizzard tonight then.
Peeta and I sit watching Prim making the oversized snow man that is almost as tall as she is, that is just the base, she has started the middle ball making that one massive too
"Prim you know that you need to get that on to the top first, it'll just crumble if you don't put it on!" I say looking at her
"Come on then put it on" she giggles
"You heard her Peeta, go put it on; you're stronger than both of us!" I laugh as Prim sits next to me
"You can help me then!" he says taking my hand, I stand up and watch him putting it on top of the base, once on I start adding more snow to it then round it off
"Come on then Prim get started on the head!" I say as she gets up and walks over to the untouched part of the hill and begins to roll a new snow ball that will form the head, I stand and watch her, when did she become so grown up, I can remember when she was so reliant on me, I was her only friend when Dad died because no one wanted to be her friend, she was different to them and it would have been awkward to talk to her, that was never the case, she never really understood that Dad had died or how until we found out who had killed him I could have told her when she was younger but I decided not to, it was a big burden for me to carry… but her, I intended to protect her not to bring her into the details of how her Dad had died at the age of six, all she needed to know at the time was that he was not coming back but he still loved her and believe me it was so hard to lie to her all those years but she never seemed upset that I never told her until she was twelve and thank god I did otherwise she would have found out who killed him and how like that, all that time I spent defending her from the truth would have been for nothing. I sit down in the snow as more snowflakes start to fall, filling in the gaps Prim used for her snow man previously; the green slowly disappears into a white sheet like an hour ago.
"Peeta, here you go" and she rolls the snow ball to Peeta and I get up to help him secure the head to the body, it is massive, bigger than me. Prim fishes around in her pocket for a while then pulls out some buttons
"Prim where did you get them from?"
"Mums box" she says pressing them on to the middle ball and the face then she does something unexpected, she pulls out my mocking jay pin "I hope you don't mind"
"Of course I don't mind as long as I get it back eventually" and she nods, so there we have it a rebel snow man, I bet Otto never had one of them! "Well done" I say giving her a hug. Then we all sit down and admire our work/her work for a while but the snow keeps coming down. Then something even more unusual than a rebel snowman, happens that send tingles round my body, the baby kicked, I look up at Peeta and smile in shock "The baby" I say to him and put his hand there as it does it again and he gleams and Prim looks at us
"What's wrong?" she asks
"The baby kicked!" Peeta says and I think it is impossible to get those words out quick enough! Prim smiles as Peeta and I lie down on the snow on our backs looking up at the sky and if I could just freeze this moment and relive it over and over again, we finally have some peace like a normal family
"How will we get down without breaking our necks?" Prim asks looking at me then Peeta for an answer
"Rolly pollys?" Peeta says sarcastically making Prims face light up with hope and excitement
"NO" I say looking at her before she asks
"I didn't say anything" she says looking guilty
"Yes you were you were going to ask if we can but the answer is no"
"Why?"
"Ehmm hello I am pregnant and numb and the leader of a rebellion and somehow I don't think dying will help me sort it out now will it" I reply then I throw a snow ball off her those are always the answers I give but if someone else says it I kick off big style
"Well can we shuffle our way down that won't hurt our necks" and for once I don't have a cheeky come back, she has got me there, I guess it won't be all that bad (yeah right)
"Right shuffle it is then" I say "You first then genius Everdean" I say looking at Peeta as if to say if this don't work I will kill her, that look that I had in the arena about the force field being blown up, yes I didn't think it would work, who would, the Capitol are too thorough but obviously not that thorough because we are here and I'm not with my Dad, last time I checked I am still frozen and hoping that Mathew is still at mine so I can punch his teeth in, that should give me something to do, that is of course if we get down here in one piece and I know what you are thinking why the fuss but we are six inches deep in snow possibly more on a very steep bank with a road at the bottom, no soft landings here then. Prim goes and sits on the edge then slides down it without a care in the world it takes a matter of seconds to slide down it, here it goes, I set of and whiz down the slope so fast it takes your breath away, I stand to watch Peeta coming down then we walk back to mine to get changed
"What time is it" Peeta asks
"Don't know one thirty maybe, just a guess. Prim what's Mum doing the day?"
"She and Emma are going to the seam to buy some more buttons I think" and I stop out right
"She can't, she is not a trader, shit, she will get in to trouble for going there" I never swear in front of Prim or Peeta for that matter but this time it is the only word that can come close to the panic that is surging round my body at the thought that she and Emma will be hung or killed and I would have to do it I am the only trader who; one, owns a weapon and two, can tie a noose and I am not prepared to do that to my own Mother and my soon to be Mother in law. I have witnessed the traders code in force and the code is that no non trader can come to that place, it endangers the identity of illegal traders like myself and then it disrupts the order of sales, one member per family can trade at the seam and used – to – be black market, my Dad was and an exception for bringing me in there because he was well liked and so was I, I used to help other traders around my Dads stall since there was no competition for him he was and still would be the only hunter like I am now I can teach Prim to hunt and tell her how to trade but unless I can somehow call a meeting (unlikely) she will not be allowed in there until I die or pass the trade on to her which no matter how much I love her I will never do, this is my thing and I am the most respected trader there, the day I went in by myself for the first time people stopped and looked at me, new face should we report her buzzed in my ears then whispers started she is Joes daughter Katniss and business went back to normal people see me as my Dad, I am like him, I shoot animals the same way, I sell the same way, I don't grass traders up for their crimes and I keep the names a secret, I was asked to a meeting two weeks after his death two weeks after I turned up there to trade my game, I sat down at this large table and the head of traders told me that I am welcome to come, my Father was one day going to be the head and I will take over his place as long as I abide by those rules, everyone knows where the seam is and what it is used for but not the contents, the characters in there are ruthless, will stop at nothing to keep their secret, we keep twelve going bringing food home to our family's to eat, I will one day be the head of those men I can sit at the top of that table and go hunting, people will know no different apart from those sole traders that were accepted to honour the code and feed the district, all of whom are rebels, greasy Sue is one but she is not honoured by the code, she uses others giving's to make her own but we still treat her as our own we have for years she is one of us in my eyes, everyone knows her and she knows us, she too has been sworn to secrecy and I start to 'run' through the snow Peeta beside me with Prim on his back, she can't go there she wouldn't, I didn't even know she knew its location, she was brought up In a different part of the district but she knows the story's and Dad and I told her never to go to the seam and she never did so why today? I burst through the door "MUM" I scream, nothing "MUM" oh my god she has gone there I can feel it "I'm going to find her you have to stay here ok"
"No I'm coming" Peeta says standing up
"You can't"
"Why?"
"You are not a trader" I say afraid it might hurt his feelings
"So"
"Only traders of the board can go to the seam I am one of them, the identity's are kept a secret you can't come I'm sorry" and I leave the house running as fast as the snow will allow me to then I see them across the square "MUM, STOP" it's too late she opens the door then looks "MUM NO YOU CANT" but I know it is too late she will have to be dealt with and I will be the assassinator it was in the contract of agreement I signed I never thought she would do something like that nor Prim, what has she done I run over to her and close the door "What did you see?" I ask her
"Nothing it is dark in there why?"
"Emma go now before they catch you, go, Mum come with me now" and I lead her off to the furthest part I can find "You need to tell me if you saw anything now Mum this is dangerous stuff you are messing with"
"I didn't see anything; it is too dark in there why?"
"Mum you can't go in there!"
"But you and your Dad could I saw you going in there once together so why can't I?"
"Mum keep your voice down me and Dad were allowed in there, I can't even take Peeta there, it is top secrete Mum! Promise me you will never go in there again, god even Gale isn't allowed in there, promise me right now" I say in the corner of the ally way where the blistering cold is slicing
"I promise you" and I sigh in relief
"What did you want and I'll get it for you?"
"Buttons" and I nod leading her out of the ally way then pushing her in the houses general direction then open the door to the barn It is completely dark thank god! I turn and walk away but not to the house, I must honour the code, I go to the heads house, bang on the door until he opens it
"Katniss?"
"I need to talk to you" and I raise an eyebrow meaning privately, he nods and comes to the ally with me where I was moments ago, he is old and hunched but no less ruthless "My Mother just opened the door to the seam but it is empty, I understand if you have to follow the correct protocol but I just thought I should tell you instead of you hearing it off others"
"It is ok she didn't see anything or anyone but as long as it dosent happen again" I nod and thank the chief who's name I couldn't possibly divulge for his own safety "You are my leader now I am in the rebellion and was with your Dad, he too was a rebel so are all the traders more so than the rest of the population, use your power wisely Katniss don't let it get to your head, you are stronger that any Capitol peacekeeper and you can do more damage than you might think!" and he walks away relying on a crooked stick my Father made him over a decade ago.
"Thank you" I say walking behind him then separating to go to the fence since I already have my hunting jacket, I might as well I won't get the chance soon as winter sets in, most animals go into hibernation.
As I get to the little chink in the fence it is well gone, I am taken aback at this, four generations of my family have used this weak spot and it has stayed untouched I crouch down on the meadow Snow coated grass, why is everything changing, what ever happened to when my Mother stayed out of the way, I could sell to peacekeepers, go into the woods with no dead body's falling out on me, no games, no ` blooming president Snow or three homes just my little seam house and since I am complaining no baby either, just everything like it used to be. I stand and listen for the buzz, nothing. I hurry to greasy Sue's house before the electricity is switched back on. I bang on the door until she answers "I need to cut the fence, they have patched it up!" and she looks at me telling me shut up then I glance past her three peacekeepers sit in her lounge "Honestly Prim is hopeless she keeps patching that garden fence up but I leave it for a reason" and she nods then goes in to gets the maul grips so I can cut the fence
"Thanks" I turn to leave with the cutters when…
"Hello Katniss!" slices through me I roll my eyes and turn to face the door "Don't say you were going to go without saying hello?"
"Hi, now I really have to go" then I look at the man in the door way and see some similarity
"How's cinna?" the man says and I start for him dropping the cutters on the grass
"You bastard you know how he is you killed him!" I scream and clamp my hands around his neck watching the panic set in on his registering face, he is going to die in the hands of a seventeen year old, literally "I saw you kill him then drag him out, why the hell would you do that?" the colour is beginning to drain form his face, I am killing him. "Lost for words I see!" and then greasy Sue come and pulls me away from him, he crumbles to the ground
"Go Katniss before you get yourself hung, I'll sort the fence out and see to it he is taken care of ok!" I nod and walk down the path in a raging manner feeling like I could shoot something, but I trudge in the snow to the village as Peeta comes out the door
"I have just killed a peacekeeper" I say not sounding at all sympathetic and I look at Peeta and smile "He killed Cinna"
"Cinna's dead what, how, when" then his expression changes "who did you kill Katniss are you crazy?" and he looks horrified, he knows what I am capable of
"Before the arena this man murdered Cinna when I was in the tube waiting to come up in to the arena so I killed him at greasy Sue's house and no I am not crazy thank you very much!"
"Oh my god Katniss" and he tries to sound serious but can't resist it and smiles "Come on then Prim is worried where you have gone and your Mum is traumatised for some reason"
"She is another one I could kill right now she knows not to go to the Seam" and he just takes my hand as we go to the house
"Your calendar is too full to kill her too" and I laugh getting a mouth full of Snowflakes when is it going to stop and how will we get in to the bunkers in thirteen in this snow it is ten inches deep now and there is no way the staff at thirteen can sweep it away, just impossible!
"Katniss" Prim says running up to me "where were you I thought something had happened when Mum came home and you didn't but you told me to stay here so I did" and I give her a hug looking right at my Mother
"I didn't know" she snarls at me
"We told you often enough, you would have to be killed and I would have to do it regardless if you are my Mother, I have duty's so I can stay a member and so I can keep Prim alive, got it never do that again, I have seen the faces of the people who I have had to kill for trespassing and I don't won't to have to see you tied to that post ok" and she nods looking at me
"You have killed people?"
"Katniss he has just died!" greasy Sue bursts in timing just perfect
"What?" I say looking at her my expression unbothered
"HE. HAS. JUST. DIED" it takes a while to register what I have just been told about the peacekeeper
"Good" I say
"Who has just died and why are you telling us" my Mother questions arrogantly
"I killed the man who killed Cinna" I say looking at my Mother, getting sick of saying it
"What, Katniss are you mad?" she says
"According to you; yes I am" and she just shakes her head
"You are just like your Dad you have a habit of killing people!"
"Mother I am literally on the verge of kicking you out, shut up I killed people because I have to that is my life I am killing people to help people and pay back those people who have had their lives taken away this world is not a nice place anymore and you know it!" with that I follow greasy Sue out of the house nearly tripping over his body "You brought him here?" and she nods Prim by her side
"He is not dead" and we both turn to look at her as she kneels down to feel his pulse "It is normal, he is alive just sleeping" and Greasy Sue lets out a breath I stand there without a care in the world and she tips him off the sledge thing that was dragged here and he wakes up immediately and he locks eyes on me then surprises me
"I'm sorry I killed Cinna I was told to by the president, I was being controlled!" and he sounds. Sincere?
"I'm sorry for trying to kill you then" I say but still not really feeling bad the bottom line is that; controlled or not he killed Cinna the one person who didn't dress me up so I looked stupid who would sacrifice himself for me and now he is dead and Snow is adding to my ever growing list of motives to murder him, I'm off to hell anyway might as well secure my place, he, the devil can have a bed made for me, right next to Snow and Mathew so I can keep killing them until my heart is content, I think that's fair. The man gets up and sticks his hand out
"It is all forgotten about" he says I nod and turn back to the house, I never, ever shake a peacekeepers hand even if I am selling to them it would destroy my reputation and therefore my Fathers, not going to happen.
Chapter 55 Snow
"February the first it is then, I am counting on you to get this right both of them in one piece and no mistakes, he is not to know, if he finds out you will be following your brother, clear" I say to the last remaining relative of the late game maker
"Yes" and he leaves the room in a urgent manner
"Grandfather?" it is Ella my Granddaughter "Why do you have to do this it is unfair?"
"Ella, there is an awful lot of things you don't know and don't need to know. but what I will tell you is that the districts don't know pain, they are better off than us: we feed them and cloth them, fly aid in that sort of thing" but even I know it is lies so she does too. Then she also leaves the room no doubt to find her Father, I killed her Mother my daughter in law because she doubted me, we will never tell her that though, I want her to love me I was never really loved by my parents so I saw to it that she was and eliminated the ones who don't love her. Right now though I need to get a fleet together to bring them in and keep the two of them hostage, that should spoil her plans completely, there is no such thing as a happily ever after. Look at my wife she died and I killed her, still not losing sleep over it a month on so I won't lose sleep over them being tortured in fact I will take great pleasure in seeing them beg for my mercy to kill them!
Chapter 56 Katniss
I month has gone by now and we are still in twelve, Peeta, our family's and I keep reapplying to extend the holiday and finally the snow is beginning to thaw, yesterday Prim collected my pin off the snow man we built almost five weeks ago, Christmas was un-event full, everyone was drunk and rolled about full, then as new year rolled in it remained the same, I have gone hunting and traded, oo I forgot, the chief of the Seam died two weeks ago, I am now the official leader of the Seam. Luckily it is not a demanding job because let's face it I am a leader of an awful lot of things right now and that is at the moment the bottom of my list of priorities: at the top looking after my family, being leader of the rebellion a close two, three being leader of a group of assassins who would like to help Peeta, Indi and me kill Snow and the fourth is the fact that twelve is yet again being ruled by peacekeepers who are covering over my spot in the perimeter fence and fifth is my baby who yeah is near the bottom but it isn't born yet, well not for another three months so it dosent need my protection just yet and then sixth is the Seam.
It is the nineteenth of January today, Prims birthday is on Tuesday the twenty first and I am taking her in to the woods for the first time since she was six years old, hopefully it will go better than it did all those years ago. Peeta and James have helped my Mother rearrange my house, she keeps forgetting that it is mine and Peeta's and let's just say if we moved house, they would have to go and live in the Seam again which in my Mother case tempts me something rotten, I would like to love her and get along with her but every time we seem to be getting better she says or does something that makes me blow, snap if you must but whatever you want to call it I am working on, making sure that I stop for my sake because If I am not careful I will go absolutely mad like my Mum says I already have. Right now I am sitting in the study, door locked and looking out the window at the still village, even the Seam is considerably quitter, most traders have gone back to thirteen, this morning I went out to go hunting and a random little girl came over and hugged me she could only have been six but she knew what she was talking about, she said:
"I will go where you go" and her older brother nodded who looked to be about nine said
"We believe in you, we will do as you ask" freaky I know but it makes me feel good to know that it is not just a complete waste of time, I actually thought that they were going to come in to the wood with me, they followed me to the meadow then said they would wait for me, they would be waiting a very long time for me because I am there until dinner time, Peeta goes out of his mind with worry since the fence almost electrocuted me last week, I swear if the hum hadn't have buzzed through me at the very last minute I would be a gonna so he sits there fretting the whole time I am away, it is not all that bad though I have been shocked by the fence before and killed by a force field but now I guess it is because we are so close to actually having a family he doesn't want anything to happen but I have a family to keep alive already even though they can be a royal pain sometimes I can't just leave them especially Prim, she is like my daughter and really so is my Mother I have kept her alive too along with more or less all of district twelve, when they were starving I spent four days nonstop with no sleep, hunting, Gale was too weak to hunt, he was a gatherer but even that was too tiring, he had to work in the mines and then go home to look after his family so I was on my own feeding thousands of people then my own family who were dying too, I treat everyone the same though I didn't favour anyone not even my family, I couldn't afford that.
Bang, bang on the door gives me a fright I walk over to the door and turn the key unlocking the door "Peeta" I say wrapping my arms round his neck, the last two days he has been looking for Mathew with his Father, he left in haste last week and travelled back to the Capitol. Peeta's Father, Robert had unfinished business with his son and wanted it sorted out. I did disagree with Peeta going back to that place but he was determined and I didn't try to stop him, his brother, and his choice so I left it and kept busy, going hunting and trading then I stopped today. Decided to just relax, I had been going for two days and nights and frankly the woods would run out of game and then where would I be? "Are you ok?" I ask in to his shoulder, I have grown; I am the same size as him now finally even though I was only a few inches smaller than him to start with, and I went from being taller than him to shorter then to the same size.
"Yeah we found him but it was too late" and he has an edge of unwillingness in his voice, like he dosent want to tell me
"What?" I ask him unsure if I would like to know the answer
"He has told the head peacekeeper about us" and I look at him confused, what about us, everyone knows about us? I think and it must register on my face "The bunkers" and my eyes widen
"We need to tell Indi, get them out now" I say and he pulls me back in so my head rests on is shoulder "how do you know"
"Mathew told us"
"And you believe him?"
"Well we don't have any other choice, worst case snario, he has or he hasn't, we don't know"
"What will we do then?"
"Nothing we should just leave it, Dad is out there now talking to him and his parents see if he can get the truth out of him, I'm sorry Katniss I don't know how he found out" I pull back and look directly at his face
"I do….. Gale!" and his face changes
"No" but I think he knows there is a chance I am right
"He has motive and hatred, why not?"
"He is in thirteen and… he loves you too much" and I can actually see anger, upset and pain flash over his face and seep into every pore of his face as he says it "It wasn't him" There is nothing I can say to deny it he does love me unfortunately that is clear but I don't love him and Peeta knows that considering I have tried to kill him three times and failed, someone always stops me, Peeta, James and Ben. So that is Gale safely ruled out.
"What did he say exactly?" I ask him still trying to make sense of it all; my arms wrapped round his neck
"He said he has told him. That was all; Dad worked it all out for me"
"So it is not certain then" I say "We need to go back to thirteen and warn them"
"I'm not taking you back there Katniss, not until we know" and he holds me tighter against his chest, I can hear his heart beating steadily beneath his ribs. Secretly I don't believe that Mathew would do that though or do I not want to, he doesn't have the guts but then again some might have said that about the mine, he wouldn't do that, he knows that I would get him as soon as they turned up.
"Don't worry Peeta it mightn't be true ok I will sort it" then I realise what I said and he looks at me but not because of the; I part, he dosent believe "We will" I reassure him
"You can't sort everything out Katniss one day something will be too big for you!" and he looks at me seriously
"Not where my family is concerned, there is always a way to sort something out and plus we have Snow to kill, Peeta don't give up on me now, don't give up on us, please Peeta" and he looks like he is going to cry and flip and pass out at once if I let go of him and he looks right in to my eyes slicing through me and he holds my gaze, I am the only reason he is upright I am clinging on to him for dear life, keeping him sane
"Never" he whispers finally then collapse's in to my arms, we stand there keeping each other sane stopping each other from sinking and drowning, I have never seen Peeta break down like that I actually though me was going to just give up on me on the rebellion, on us. Promise number four kill Mathew first chance I get or even better at the same time as Snow "Peeta, come on" I say pulling back from him so I can see his face; it looks traumatised "Come with me" I say taking his hand and leading him out of the study, out the house and down the lane to the hill now with no snow the walk takes about ten minutes, we start the incline and as we reach the top I sit down finally letting go of his hand, he sits down next to me
"I'm sorry" he says
"Peeta, I react badly to things too, like the other week when I tried to kill that peacekeeper, it is fine just forget it" I say resting the back of my head on his knees so I can see his face
"I shouldn't do that though I should be being strong for you not the other way round" he speaks in a slow quite manner
"Peeta you don't need to be strong for me, I can do that for myself you just need to be there and stop me going mad and killing anyone who threatens my family, just be you, the Peeta Malark I am going to marry the Peeta Malark I will have a child with, don't change" I say to him when an image pops into my head the arena, when he 'died' and I was sitting next to him, the longing to see his face and his eyes and now I know his face so well I can tell when he is lying when he is anxious, happy, nervous things like that but now this, it is a completely different emotion that has taken over his body and I am beginning to worry about him now, he has started going downhill ever since we found out about Mathew, he has gone into guilty overdrive.
"What will we do Peeta, something nice to take our minds off things, just the two of us?"
"Where can we go?"
"You will see!" I say to him and place my hand on my tummy, I keep feeling the baby move, the other takes Peeta's hand "we need to pack a bag" I say to him, he looks confused at me and I have a plan, it is pretty much just my last hope, I never planned to take Peeta there but what else can I do apart from that, it did it for me, sorted out my head so it should do it for him.
We pack a bag and fold up a duvet and four pillows and head out leaving a note for my Mother and Prim I lead him to the meadow then cover his eyes with an old rag, guide him to the fence and listen, no hum and the fence is cut. I think to myself, am I ready to do this, take him to my one retreat, no and yes, I love him and he will stay out of the woods, not intrude on my hunting times, I trust him and decision made. I guide him under the chink and retrieve my bow then walk to the log to get my arrows, old habits never die and after two arenas with those metal bow and arrows by my side it is a relief to have my Father's hand crafted arrows and bow with me, as I walk to the cottage I spot a fox and shoot it, instinct you see,
"Peeta wait here I'll be back in a second ok" and retrieve the game or tonight's dinner some might say, then go and lead him the rest of the way and fish out the keys from my leather jacket and unlock the door, take Peeta's hand and bring him in to my cottage, this was it, my Father's and mines little hiding place is now going to be shared with my future husband but for some reason it is harder to show Peeta, Gale found me here, I never really invited him here, I have never invited anyone here. I pull off the mask so Peeta can see the house that I have many warm memories and two I would rather forget. The room is warm; the walls bare, the kitchen more or less untouched the fire waiting to be laden with wood and lit.
"Katniss" he gasps and looks at me then out of the window "Really?"
"Yes really" I smile at him
"But your Dad, it was his and your place to come!"
"Yes and you are my fiancé remember, you are a massive part of me and I think it is time you found out about me, things that no one else knows not even my Mother knows, I trust you!"
"Thank you, Katniss" then he looks at my bow and arrows "so they are the famous Everdean arrow and bow? You use to shoot anything and anyone?" and he smiles like the old Peeta
"Yep lethal in my hands, harmless in others, and I have our dinner sorted, wanna go and watch me shoot something then?"
"Really in the woods?" I nod and lead out of the house locking the door behind me
"You have to be really quite though and don't let the animal's sense fear ok oo and don't look in to their eyes it helps when you kill them" and I look at him
"I told you that we should leave the hunting to you" he says and I laugh readying my arrow and walking quietly towards the hiding spot
"This is the blind spot no one can see you but you can see them" I whisper and he nods I turn around and spot a small rabbit hiding behind a tree, I aim and shoot hitting it right in the eye then walk a few yards to collect it
"Katnap?" and I spin round in surprise and almost shoot him
"Gale, what are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing"
"Well kind of my woods where I hunt and have done since I was four so what are you doing here?"
"Looking for you, I had a feeling this is where you would be, see you have replaced me, your old hunting partner with him"
"You were never my hunting partner and Peeta is not my hunting partner, you came with me and never actually killed anything Peeta is here with me because I want him here you on the other hand found me in the cottage and badgered me to let you stay, there is a difference" I say focusing on the job at hand, dinner.
"I'm off back to thirteen tonight, you coming or staying here?"
"Work it out Gale I'm sure that brain of yours is capable of at least that" I say and shoot a squirrel again in the eye, still ain't lost my touch
"See ya then" and he comes and kisses me right there in front of Peeta, I pull back looking stunned, did he really just do that? It takes a second to process this and I slap him across the face, this time he really did deserve it and he knows it, Peeta's back to himself again and looks ready to attack him
"Sorry" Gale says and looks at me and then at Peeta who has suddenly calmed down "I don't want to fall out anymore, please" and he means it, he never apologises but sometimes he apologises to me but rarely, I look at Peeta and nod as if to say believe him. They shake hands and I do the same
"Friends can hug each other can't they?" I say looking at Peeta and at Gale Peeta nods
"Of course" Gale says half heartily and I give him a hug then pull away swiftly to continue
"Let's go back to the way things were when we were friends not constantly patronizing each other and Gale me and Peeta will still be getting married and having the baby so don't get any ideas in your head and you two need to stop winding each other up, Peeta I love you and love Gale but not in the same way he is like my brother you are the one I really love ok, sorted?" and I see Peeta's jaw loosen and Gale's fists unclench "Deal?"
"Deal" Gale says
"Yes" Peeta says and Gale heads away back to the fence and I turn to Peeta
"We needed to sort it out Peeta it was driving me crazy, you do mean more to me than Gale does ok I will hug him as a friend and you as my husband ok?"
"Yeah you didn't need to tell me that though I know" and he smiles, I ready my bow and arrow and shoot the first thing that moves in the trees, an owl
"Let's go Peeta it is getting dark" he nods and we head back I really don't know how to knock this out of him I have brought him to the woods showed him the house made up with Gale I mean come on what more can I do. I open the door to the cottage and sit down to the floor in front of the fire "Peeta tell me what is the matter with you"
"Mathew, Gale and me" he says
"Gale I can understand Mathew sort of, but yourself you've lost me"
"I feel like everything I am doing is going wrong"
"How, Peeta, I don't understand?"
"I don't know how it just is, I am going mad" I shake my head and can't think of what to say, never was good at this sort of thing, so I do something that can't go wrong, I kiss him, the old Peeta is under this all and I need to get it back out of him as soon as possible. He kisses me back and slowly in those moments he comes back to me, he begins to become the boy I agreed to have a child with, the boy I agreed to marry, the boy I stayed strong for in the arena and pulled through for and he is doing the same thing now for me thank god. I finally pull away breathless and he stares at me and smiles, he is back I can tell by his face, he is on the same planet as me not miles away on planet 'think of as many ways to blame yourself,' must be a pretty bleak place. I look right into his eyes as if to read a full book of his feelings but all I can see in them blue pools is him, not jealousy, not anger, not blame, just him the way he always was and is. I cuddle into him, settling down for the night for the first time in a month, yeah these thing are little but when you have my experiences it can be taken away from you before you can register what you had, I know that feeling really well with my Dad and then Peeta I guess, something my Mother never quite grasped. Over the years I have made many promises to myself and four out of five of them I have stuck too so I am pretty proud of my myself It's just a shame that the two most important ones this year have been broken, Snow knows too much about my life and me him, it actually makes me uncomfortable, you know I wouldn't be surprised if he knows the date the baby will be born on or he already has his suit for my wedding, if he is expecting to walk me down the aisles he can think again I might be in a dress but I can still kick butt if needs be, hang on dress, what dress and in fact what wedding we haven't even got a date and Snow will not be there that is for sure I will even put up a sign right at the entrance 'Snow free zone' that is if I haven't killed him first! I lie listening to the fire crack and then it goes silent but I can still feel the heat on my face and I can feel Peeta's heart beating as his chest rises and drops, I would freak if that stopped.
Chapter 57 Peeta
I feel like I did before all of this `with Mathew started. I mean Katniss did something unexpected and brought me into the woods (hunting is Katniss's department!) and we are spending the night in her cottage, I wrap her up in the duvet but she seems happy just resting her head on my tummy like we were when Prim was in hospital, or was it my shoulder, I can't remember, you would think it was me who they put in a 'medically induced coma' (doctory words, Nadinear's department)never mind Prim but then again I was in and out of that room more times than a Jack in the box so I may have forgotten some aspects of my nights in that stuffy infirmary and most of the events before that, so far last year had pretty much sucked I was In two arena watched Katniss die, got stabbed myself, almost had my leg bitten off, been strangled, watched Katniss be suffocated, been lied to, been tricked, killed people, watched Katniss kill LOTS of people, seen Prim dead give or take, my so called brother shows up, he killed my fiancé's Father, had god knows how many fights, been poisoned, been shot at, been called poison, had a break down, found out that Gale tried to sleep with Katniss, made up with Gale (will not last long) my baby is in danger, Katniss is in danger, I am in danger, Ben is falling in love with a fourty year old woman when he is nineteen, that woman is Indi, she wants to kill Snow so does Katniss and I think we all know who will win, had way to many hangovers for my liking and to top it all off we have a full scale rebellion but I'm undecided if that is a bad thing or a good thing, think I will wait until the end see what the outcome is and now for the few exceptions: engaged, going to be a Dad, watching Katniss kill, survived two arenas, rescued from one of them, been in the woods, had fights, watched Katniss beet Mathew up something rotten, watched Prim pour water over him, seen Haymich walk into the back door repeatedly until he knocked himself out on Christmas night and finally Katniss, just her on her own without the engagement or the baby, just her is good enough for me so over all I think the bad wins that year with the few nice things that happened, always spoilt moments later by something.
I just lie looking at Katniss's sleeping face with the flames shadow dancing across her face, bringing out red streaks in her brown hair that is wavy from her plat. She dosent move at all she stays in the same persition all night, I look at the clock on the wall it reads four thirty in the morning and the sun is just coming up over the trees and makes patterns on the floor from the window. It is really beautiful in the woods but I don't belong here. Katniss does though she looks like she belongs here and no were else and no one else in the world exists just her and her memory's when she is hunting, better than she was in the arena, she looks like she is in her element killing animals not humans who can think for themselves, she actually scares me how quite she is when she is walking around, I am really heavy footed compared to her. I look around the cottage it is open plan and the walls are bare there is a small table and three chairs, her game bag hangs up on the hook with her leather jacket the little fire warms the whole place and considering the location surprisingly no windows are broken, she looks after anything valuable to her very well.
As eight o'clock rolls in she wakes up and looks up at me smiling "Morning"
"Morning" I reply then get up
"I think I will sell the fox and squirrel and keep the owl, what do you think?"
"You're the hunter and the trader, it up to you" she nods in reply then goes and puts on her jacket and collects the bow and arrows
"See you soon" she says kisses me and leaves, I sit down on the floor and look at the fire it spits and cracks it reminds me of the one in the arena the night the mist came but I don't think there is some hideous gas floating around plus there is no mist, these things will haunt me for the rest of my life, a time that she could have died.
Chapter 58 Katniss
I don't get anything this morning mainly because there is hardly any animals around to kill and I am not really looking, I am distracted and tiered I don't know why I slept all night without disturbance, that means everything is more or less normal well as normal as things can possibly be. I turn back to the house, I am putting myself at risk not having my head in it, I can't afford that now; I have plans and a task at hand so I need to get back to the cottage soon. I left Peeta there ten minutes ago, maybe that is why I feel like my mind is wandering, unfocused, I am thinking of him, this is unusual, normally my mind is on the job when it comes to hunting but since the last games I can't concentrate, apart from my Dad's anniversary then nothing in the world exists apart from him and me hunting although he isn't really there but last year it was kind of different because I do have a baby which keeps reminding me that sooner or later I am going to have to give this all up. I can't imagine my life without hunting; my Dad could come to the woods whenever he wanted because he was our Father. My Mother however had to stay and look after us - Prim. if Peeta was a hunter he could do the same but to be honest the way he is talking he won't be letting me or the baby out of his sight, I think maybe I could come out here now and again but not as much as I have been going all my life and then I have the fact I get to kill Snow, I need to ask Indi to hold off until I have had my baby, or should I do it while I am pregnant to rub it in his face that I have won. I will talk to Peeta, see what he thinks, I can remember when we were told that it was in our hands to kill Snow and he said straight away that it should be me to kill him, that I had more of a reason to kill him, that however is not the case anymore because we have been through almost the same, both been thrown in to an arena two times, both had to change to stay alive and both still have nightmares about the unspeakable massacre we witnessed in the arena that to the Capitol citizens fine ok that children are slaughtered in such a way it is like a horror film on loop, one minute all is well and as soon as night comes everything is gone, everything you love is gone never to come back like Rue but that was my fault I put her in that situation, I'm just bad luck though so that dosent count.
"Hey" Peeta says as I get in the cottage
"Hey, didn't get anything I wasn't focused and strangely couldn't be bothered" and I sit on the seat by the door still with my jacket on and put my head on the old wooden table
"We should be getting back to the house your Mum will be freaking out" he says, and that is true but I'm not ready to go back to that house, I would rather stay here and make this my new house not in one of the Capitol provided accommodation at least here it is a place I built with my Father and nothing in it belongs to them or was provided by them a true rebels house and I am a rebel as is Peeta and we will raise our child as a rebel to know what the Capitol are like and that we killed the man who was behind it, Snow, and I can't wait to see him, to see his face as I draw the bow and steady the arrow, I will do it really slowly so the tension rises in fact I will drag it out for fourty seconds like we had to wait before the games on the peddle stone. Smell the blood as it pierces through his black heart. See him stagger backwards and die before my eyes. I wonder what his final words will be. What his eyes look like, I will not blink once I want to see every single second every crease on his face.
"Katniss?" Peeta says snapping be back to reality with a crash
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"Are you ready?" and I see that he has the bags ready
"Yeah" I say and stand up and grab my bow and sling the quiver of arrows on my back then head out the door locking it behind me and leading the way back to the fence hiding the arrows and bow on the way along with the keys. The fence comes into sight a short while later and to just make my day: we are trapped, I stop and throw my head back and close my eyes, not again I put my hands on my face to hide my eyes
"What's wrong?" Peeta asks
"They have patched it" is all I can say
"What does that mean?"
"We are trapped" and I listen, the hum, great we are well and truly trapped
"We can just clime it" Peeta says and steps forward
"NO" I say and he stops "It is electrified" and he looks at me "We will just have to wait until the hum goes then I'll cut it with an arrow head"
"What if that dosent works?"
"Then we will have to climb up a tree and jump or go to another week spot, risky but not as risky as staying here through the night when you don't have a weapon, I can't protect both of us in the woods, we will become easy targets for predators even up trees" and he look so calm about it, I am, not ideal but it has happened to me lots of times but I was on my own and I wasn't too worried about jumping the fence now though I need to be a little bit more responsible about things and to do that I think maybe I should consider a plan for tonight what we should do if we stay on this side, I can't go back to the house, we need to stay close to the fence so I can hear the hum first thing, thanks Indi, I thought she said she was going to sort out the electrical current, should have known.
"You can't do that it is over nine foot high are you absolutely crazy?" and I laugh he has no idea, I am already sizing the thing up, figuring out a plan of how to get over it and what to do with Peeta if we are trapped through the night
"I have done it before, this isn't the first time this has happened to me"
"What, when you were pregnant?"
"Not when I was pregnant but I have been climbing trees so I figured it would be ok" and I turn and walk back to where the arrows are, bend down and fish around the hollow log until I come to the small pouch of metal arrow heads, also handmade by my Father then stand up to go back and try and get us back to the legal side of the boundary and put my free hand on my tummy "You know one of these days I will have a normal life where I can come out doing good and not end up saving the day" I whisper as I walk back to the fence where Peeta is still standing "I'm back" I say and out of the corner of my eye I see the white uniform "Run" I say my eyes fixed on the keepers on the other side, I don't know if they have seen us yet. With that we run deep into the forest "We are in deep trouble if they saw us" I say when I literally can't run anymore before I collapse in a heap. I seem to keep forgetting that I can't run far now but thankfully I think we are safe, for now "Peeta I have a plan"
"What is it?"
"I will go over the fence and get greasy Sue to help me distract the guard's then we can cut the fence"
"Then why can't I go and you stay here, it is safer, just tell me where she lives"
"I can't, the code" it has been decided recently that she is now protected and her were bout's should be kept a secret and really so should her name but everyone knows her already
"Well you can't go jumping that fence I won't let you" he says, now where have I heard that, oww yes in the first arena but did I listen, that would be a: no.
"Well we can't just stay here" I say stating the obvious "It is Prim's birthday tomorrow"
"Forget about Prim's birthday, we are being hunted by peacekeepers I think maybe we should be focusing on this first" and the ebb in his voice tells me he is starting to panic
"Don't panic" and I close my eyes "Peeta just let me go I will be fine"
"No" god he is so stubborn I mean I have done this stunt hundreds of times and the worst injury I have sustained was a sprained ankle but I see I don't really have a choice, I am going to have to tell him where she lives
"Through the square and down the mines lane passed the school and it is the third house on the left" and I close my eyes, if he is found out by anyone the board will make me kill him even with my new powers, it goes on a vote I can't be killed for telling him though I am the chief and until I am actually married to him I can introduce him to the circle but I need to call a board meeting to say he has been accepted and even then the traders location is not passed on unless by that person so basically I have broken more rules "Do not get caught Peeta, you don't know how severe the punishment will be for you, I would have to do it too, be careful and if anyone asks say you have been sent by me ok say chief Everdean fourty eight got it but for god sakes do not say that to a peacekeeper ok" I still can't get my head around that chief part the fourty eight part yeah there has been fourty seven before me but other than that it is beyond me.
"I will I promise and what will I say to her?"
"Just say you are Peeta, Katniss's fiancé or husband or whatever and that she needs you to come and cut the fence that we are effectively trapped, I will be next to it and hopefully they will be gone" he nods and gets up and runs to the fence, I clime up a nearby tree so I can see what is going on, I can see him jump over the fence off the branch but can't hear a sound, I am too far away, then he breaks into a run, I watch him until he is out of sight then I sit and keep on guard looking around me and to my surprise there is no peacekeepers so I get down and walk to the fence, the hum has gone, I pull out an arrow head and start to cut it. Ten minutes later the gap is just about big enough for me to fit through, where is Peeta he has been gone too long, I slide under the gap and run to the square the crowds that have gathered around the stand that is all too familiar to me, heads turn and faces register who I am I look beyond the various head sizes and see his ash blond hair, oh no.
Chapter 59
"Just in time, you have duties" and I look at the bow and arrows in the second in commands hand I see my family who are all looking at me, his family who are so calm about it and me I am so calm about it, it is unreal, a bad dream
"No" I say looking the man in the eyes "No, I won't do it"
"You have too Katniss you singed for it when you eleven and joined the board, I'm sorry"
"This was an exception I was locked out of the district with peacekeepers on my back, it is different"
"He knows now"
"No, I can add someone to the board if I want to I am the chief I can if I want to, we are not married yet" I say but now we have to keep it down we are whispering and I know that I am walking on a fine rope here
"But you are due to be married"
"No, we aren't because you see he have this little rebellion going on that has taken up most of the next year leaving no time for our wedding plus there is a small aspect everyone seems to miss out: I have a child to him so no I am not going to kill him, got it, I refuse, everyone knows where she lives and he asked a valid question so if anyone should be getting killed it is me, I sent him so don't contradict me " and Peeta jumps in to motion trying to break his way free with no luck, he seems to be forgetting that I am the only one in the whole district who has adequate aim to hit the right person "I call a board meeting now" and we lead out of the square, I go up to the podium and kiss him "Trust me, I'll get us out of this" and he nods as I pull away and follow the rest of the traders to the seam and we all take a seat around the oversized table, me, of course at the top.
"You know the score Katniss you have been a member longer than most of us" the man says, I don't know his name and yet he has strung up Peeta and is actually arguing with me!
"Yes I am so with that I have powers and the power to decide, I sent him to get greasy Sue to cut the fence so I could get out ok and yes the fact that I love him comes in to it to, he is not technically my family yet so I can add him to the board if I want to so who are you to tell me what I can and can't do, I would watch it because I will have you strung up there" and now I can scream at him although the rest of the board is there "Lets vote"
"I vote no" an old man at the opposite side of the table to me says "Who will stand with me?" and four out of the twenty traders go over there
"I vote yes, who will stand with me?" that cheeky man said and another four go and stand with him
"What about the rest of you then?" I say looking at the others still sitting around the table
"I think it should be you" one man says and I say –
" "
Chapter 60
"Yes" and the place goes still in shock, this man was added last week, and he has no idea what we go through in a day
"And you?" I say looking at greasy Sue slightly shocked
"I think that you lot are making thing bigger than it needs to be, that girl has kept you lot alive for years and you want to kill her and Peeta for nothing, they needed help which I provided, it is no different to say a child knocking on the door saying their toy is over my fence they needed help regardless of what you might think she has done wonders for this district and since you are a new person to the board, I will tell you a little about this girl ok, she lost her Dad and the next day she was in the woods hunting for us to get us game then she came to trade it, she was eleven and ever since she has been well respected I think we will all agree" and people nod, thank god "I say we do nothing" and do you know what I am surprised, the people who say Peeta should die go and sit next to Sue
"So can we cut him down now?"
"No, he must pay" the man who dragged me here drags out of the barn and to the podium "Shoot him now" and I look into Peeta's eyes and for once I see fear flash through them then he nods, I can't do that to him, I look at James, he looks frightened too. The man shoves my bow and arrows into my hand and I draw it look at Peeta and mouth I love you he does it back then I release the arrow as it flies through the air, hurdling towards his heart, Ben starts for me and so dose James but I sink to the floor unable to look.
Chapter 61
"You killed him you idiot you killed him" Ben screams at me but James is cuddling in to me hiding my face from Ben, I can't move.
"Ben stop it, it is fine" James says then out loud "He would have wanted it" then he goes over to their parents who have just frozen on the spot. I go up on to the stage to where he is doubled over and tap him
"Peeta?" and I grab his hand waiting for a response that never comes. "I love you" I whisper then go off the stage and home, wherever that is now
When I get home I go straight up to our third floor room and light the fire that is situated at the bottom of the bed and just look at it as it dances gracefully on the logs. "As an hour goes by and the room has heated up, I curl up in bed under the covers looking out the window onto nothing. I wonder if he is cold or if he can feel any pain or hatred towards me and my conclusion is: no because I need to remember the truth, what James said and meant and I know and truthfully I really don't know how I even considered it. Then I fall asleep in the most nightmarish sleep I have ever had, one that in the morning I don't know if I will not be waking up from.
Chapter 62
I can feel his body heat. I know he is here and it worked because I couldn't look at the time and to be honest I still can't, what if he isn't really there and as soon as I move he disappears, but I was honestly frightened to look when he was on the stage just in case it didn't work and I had killed him but the main thing is, I am a genius for thinking of it and he is amazing for pulling it off, James knew all along but Ben didn't nor did anyone but it was kind of spur of the moment. When I thought of it I signalled to him with my arrow and put my whole hand round it, I didn't know if he understood me but James did anyway. Ben is not as bright as his brothers and honestly thought that I had killed Peeta, I thought that he didn't understand, but he did. I close my eyes and cocoon myself in his body, considering he has been outside almost all night he is very warm and I fit perfectly into his body shape. The fire has burnt out now but there is still a small trickle of smoke going up the flue and out the roof. I can remember everyone within the traders began to side with me once I had explained. But for a moment or two I didn't think they would and he would face death and "Peeta" I whisper turning my head so I look him in the eyes properly, they remain closed tightly, I wonder what he thinks of the idea that I had if he thinks it was good or a very bad and stupid idea I seem to favour the first more. "Wake up" I say teasingly and one eye opens slightly then he praises the other open and they look past me and out the window unfocused at first then he locks eyes on me "it worked!" I say just to remind him and myself and he pulls me in so we are cuddling in again together me facing him
"I knew it would" he whispers into my hair sending shivers dancing like a ballet dancer on my scalp
"How?" I ask genuinely curious because I didn't even think it would and it was my idea to start with so how did he
"You thought of it and seemed convinced" ok that is unreal I shot an arrow at his heart and hoped he would catch it so how is he not mad or hurt or something
"So you are not mad in any way?"
"Nope" how I mean how on earth he is not slightly mad at me
"KATNISS" Prim of course who else has a piercing scream at seven o'clock in the morning? She bursts in to the room and comes round the corner to where our bed is and points at Peeta "He should be dead and we aren't supposed to be talking to you" how nice ehh
"Thanks for the heads up Prim and no he isn't we planned it ok he caught it, I shot it slowly to give him time, I thought James explained it"
"He did but Mum said not to talk to you see how you like it" and Peeta sniggers over my head looking at Prim standing in front of the fireplace at the foot of the bed looking at us "You need to get up Haymich needs to see you or he will come up his words not mine ok" and there we have it normality my life to a perfect T rushed of my feet killing people and sorting out other people's mess; typical. Prim skids out the room and plods down the stairs dramatically heavy footed I listen until she hits the second floor were Prim my Mother and the baby's room is situated I look up at Peeta
"I guess I owe your brothers and parents an apology and you for that matter then we will have to show you off to the district or we will both be hung" I say
"Ben was the only one that didn't understand my Mother and Father did so did James, that man who strung me up in the first place had an idea because when you left he came and said to me 'lucky' " that man is not going very high on my rankings now not like he ever was he can be second bottom along with that 'want me dead man' who voted to kill me, don't like him very much either. "come on then let's go" with that I trudge my way down the far too many stairs and walk straight passed Haymich and my Mother and sister to the kitchen I want beer but can't have one so I settle for water then head back to the living room and sit on Peeta's knee looking at haymich for an explanation as to why he is here so early.
"Indi wants to know when you will be back she needs to talk to you"
"She can come here" I snarl "It is her turn we went to her last time"
"No"
"Well Peeta we need to pack our bags Indi wants us" I say sarcastically
"No just you" and he looks at me with snake like narrow eyes
"I don't think so Haymich; Peeta is coming with me thank you very much"
"No" I am like sick of this one word answers game now so I am going to give him one
"Yes"
"You won't win this one, she wants you and no one else got it. They are coming for you a few hours so I suggest you go to the Seam and tell your friend about your shenanigans and not killing him ok I'm sorry, I am proud of you two but please just do as she asks Katniss, for me and if not for me do it to keep Prim, Peeta and the kid safe ok please" I hate it when people use my family to get round me and I can almost feel something inside loosen
"Ok" and everyone's mouths literally drop open slightly "I am capable of not being argumental and awkward, sometime, on the rare occasion, never" I say slightly offended and insulted, Haymich gets up and disappears in to the kitchen my Mother following him like a dog after its owner, funny. I get up to leave the house when Peeta grabs my arm
"No" he says looking right at me
"What?"
"I'm not letting you go there on your own" he says uncompromisingly
"Peeta she can look after herself she is strong" James says stepping in
"Exactly I will be absolutely fine I promise you" I say without a hint of doubt in my voice I lean over to kiss him but he is not finished yet
"I still can't let you go there on your own Katniss, I'm sorry!" and here we go again
"She won't listen Peeta, even you know that" Robert says, when did he even get here; I never saw him
"Dad help me out, you heard what Mathew said" I thought he had forgotten about that after that whole woodsy thingy
"It was lies and you know that. I was just making sure, he is not a problem anymore, it is water under a bridge now, Katniss wants to go so let her, she is safe" and Haymich comes into the room right on queue
"Where is she going?" Peeta asks, this is getting a tiny bit annoying I can't get a word in without someone being quicker
"District one" he says through a mouthful of beer and a sandwich. Peeta's eyes widen in shock
"No, you are defiantly not going then!"
"Why?" Emma steps in
"They are not going to make way for her to keep her safe they need to keep their family's safe then her not the other way round. One has been the worst hit and still is, she is not going"
"Peeta she will be safe I promise you" James says reassuringly
"How'd you know that" and he starts for, wait get this, Ben who has been very quiet thought this whole argument because I think he knows that they can argue the toss about it but I am still going
"well 'she' is going to pack her bags come on Prim, help me" I say getting in the fact that my new name must be she and hopefully getting her away from swearing and fighting, Peeta and his brothers seem to be doing a lot of that recently, especially since, Mathew showed up but he is just a complete nuisance. She nods and we walk up the stairs to my top floor room, somehow the fire has been relit and is heating up the room
"Do you have to go" Prim says a few moments later when I almost collapse onto the bed in exhaustion
"Yeah, I have a deal with Indi to do as she said; it was one of the conditions to get me out and to use the facilities. She needs me more than I need her really" I say
"Can I come please; I'm not Peeta or his brothers"
"I wouldn't take you to district one. It is one of the worst hit, it is the closest to the capitol it is far too dangerous for you to. I'm not putting you at risk like that, no way"
"But you will put you and your child's life at risk?"
"Yes, if I thought it would help it in the long run yes and me I have been at risk since I was eleven it is no different to me, I'm sorry Prim" and I let her cuddle into me her head heavy on my chest
"You will be careful for mine and Peeta's sake please"
"I will"
"I can't lose my sister" this hit me harder than anything she has ever said because I know deep down that Peeta is right, it will be violent and they aren't going to stop to make way for me, keep me super safe; as their leader I am expected to fight and once the baby is born I will. But right now we have bigger battles to fight, we need to get every person in every district to help us and then we have the most risky job of all: we need to kill President Snow and fast
"You won't" is all I can manage
"We have a bag to pack" she says lifting up her head and siting on the edge of the bed
"Go get the bag and just throw in whatever you find. ok" I say still lying on the double bed looking at the white celling smiling as she goes to the walk in wardrobe to pack, part of me wishes she could come but then sense and my brain takes over telling me that it is dangerous. The whole thing rings danger which is what entices me the most I love danger now and have been brought up that way, you will never get anything out of life if you don't take risks and go for it
"Ready" she says and thumps the bag down on the bed
"SHE IS SIX MONTHS PREGNANT YOU IDIOT" I hear Peeta's piercing shrill on the top floor, what would the neighbours think if we had any that is. I roll my eyes, this excuse is starting to wear a tiny bit thin now that is all I get now I look down at my bump, it is big now and slightly uncomfortable but hey I have been waxed until I was hairless, set on fire, electrocuted, killed, cut, bitten and other thing that I won't bore you with and you really don't want to hear so this is the easy part and it is worth it but I am going in five minutes regardless of what Peeta and my whole family says, if Prim can agree than so can he, she understands the risks she is not dumb and nor is Peeta that is half the problem though
"Come on then let's go" I say taking the bag and leaving the room and starting on the stairs the bag firmly in my grasp. When I get to the bottom Peeta is next to the study door and James opposite. Haymich and my Mother remain unmoved on the sofa, Ben however has a popped lip I look at Peeta and he holds up his hands
"Wasn't me" he says looking at James who laughs a little
"Your brother" I say and hold up both hands then go over to my Mother who stands to give me a hug
"Look after yourself out there, promise me now"
"I swear Mum I will don't worry, It will be nice to show my face to them, show that I am not SCARED" I say louder for everyone to hear "Love you Mum" I say giving her a quick squeeze then looking down to see Prim on my leg, she has her arms and legs circled round me "Come here" I say to her and she obeys, rises to join me wrapping her arms around my 'waist' I walk over to Ben who opens his arms clearly wanting a hug too
"I will miss you and you do realise that he will go loopy when you are gone"
"Yes, so I am counting on you to keep him more or less sane for me ok" he nods
"Of course" I let go of my one armed hug since Prim has got the other firmly in her possession then go to James
"I know you will but be careful for us all, they are true savage all of them and you will get a real shock when you see the state of district one" what can I say to that I have been hiding whilst people who are trying to help me have been blown up and I have watched them, I close my eyes
"We need to fight" I say and people turn to look at me and James pulls back to see my face "We do, this is our mess and we can't hide from it anymore, when I get to district one I am going to fight with them" initial reactions: Prim smiles cunningly, a hint of a smile creeps on to my mother's face, Haymich nods as dose James, Ben smiles unsure and Peeta, Peeta is gone. I look up at James, he is way too tall.
"Don't worry about him we will all have to look after him" I nod but deep down I feel a surge of guilt, Peeta has been going crazy since Mathew showed up, he has had me shoot at him and now I am going into god knows what I mean I know the place could be barren like thirteen was but I can't afford to think that I need to do as much as I can, I have survived long enough without Peeta, I am a strong survivor, it is in my blood yet right now I feel weak and cowardly because I have hidden away whilst all of this has been going on, I need to make up for that and fast.
"Peeta" Ben shouts
"He went into the study" Prim says still clinging onto me for dear life. I follow Ben into the study and he is on the window seat looking blankly out the glass pain. I tap Prim and she leaves with Ben closing the door behind them
"Why?" he says but his eyes remain on a spot far away
"Why what?"
"Why" he says echoing himself but still not answering my question I go to the window and sit facing him, directly in his field of vision and he has no other option but to make eye contact with me, I see fear and unease beneath his glazed eyes "Why did this all have to happen to us?"
"Because we chose it, we chose to make it change"
"Then how did everything become so messed up, why have I gone crazy, why do you have to fight, why is Mathew dead and why has Snow got me this way?"
"Peeta everything is messed up I don't deny that but right now you need to stay with me and help me" it hurts to say this but it hurts more to see him like this "I need you to stay strong for us Peeta I need you to stop thinking of the bad things and focus on what we have"
"What do we have then?" did I just hear him right, I am sitting here six months pregnant we have a rebellion and a massive goal that will come out of it all, now I know he has gone mad I mean the bump I kind of hard to miss
"We have a family Peeta" and his eyes finally focus properly on me
"I know that, how can I forget that" ok now I am officially freaked out
"Then what is the matter Peeta I am going to one and doing my bit, I can fight I will be fine" I can see in his eyes that he is not convinced but I am
"It is not that simple and you know it if it was we could have brought down the Capitol by ourselves and spared these people their lives" he says making a very good point but it is not real we have what we have and that is a full scale rebellion one that I want to be part of and fight side by side with the rebels. I am a real rebel and have been since I was 4 and I was first introduced to the valley song and taught how to swim I want to be in the fight not just manage it, watch from the side lines I want to be among the killing, a strong leader always equals a strong army.
"I know" I say, it is all I can think of
"Come on then" he say sounding a little more like himself, not so distant. He offers me his hand and pulls me close "I trust you" he whispers into my ear sending warm chills down my spine, I look at the wall in the secrete study it is still Prim's birthday Tuesday the twenty first of January I always promised I would take her in to the woods on her thirteenth and I intend to keep that promise
"I am taking Prim in to the woods first for the rest of the day, Indi can get stuffed family first then her" and something physically unclenches in him, he relaxes so I take his hand and leave the study and enter the living room where my family and Haymich waits
"Come on then Prim get your shoes on and a jacket" I say holding Peeta's hand
"What?" she asks puzzled
"I always said I would take you in when you were thirteen so come on" and she raises her eyebrows then pulls on her jacket and a pair of shoes, I grab my hunting jacket and kiss Peeta then lead out of the house and down the lane Prim beside me
"I thought you forgot about the woods" she says as we reach the village
"No way" but my mind is on other things, people are gathered round the square and turn to greet me
"Well done" one lady says another pats me on the back I look at the stand and there all stringed up is the man who strung Peeta up yesterday. Kill him Katniss they hiss, I am tempted to do so, I look down at Prim's eyes that are wide and confused.
"Why?" I ask loudly and the remaining people turn to look at me
"He has been steeling, he torched the black market and he patches the fence to trap you, he wants you dead!" greasy Sue tells me grabbing my arm then shoving a bow and arrow in my hand, this is one of my duties one that I love. Most the time anyways. I look at the man who looks back at me with hopeful and pleading eyes, he wants my mercy something only a handful of people in this district have witnessed, I am not a merciful person though so certainly he will not be receiving the scares shortage
"This one is for Peeta" I say taking my stance before him and aiming the arrow at his heart, this is how I have been imagining killing Snow: him helpless and me powerful.
The blood drips from his clean wound his face is fearful and scared this look is nothing different to me I have seen it thousands of time but one that Prim is not, she is shocked and clinging to me.
People start to file out of the square like nothing ever happened and we carry on to the meadow until Prim stops, she wants answers but I am prepared
"Why did you kill him for and why did you have to do it?" maybe not so prepared I really can't tell her the answers she deserves or she will be next
"It is my job Prim I have to look after the district and to do so sometimes I have to kill people who threaten hundreds of people I'm sorry" and to my surprise she just nods
"Ok" she says "I was just wondering are we nearly there?" she asks although we are in touching distance of the fence
"Yeah" I say and duck under the fence, Prim follows. "Welcome to the woods Prim" and she smiles "This is where I keep my bow and arrows plus the keys to that house" I say showing her the futile log that rests on an angle above a fallen tree
"What house?" she asks confusing me, she has been in the house and I have spoken of it many times
"You have been there before" I say looking at her as we walk, I keep the bow and arrow since she was not very successful last time and almost shot me and then my Father, I need to teach her.
"I can't remember any of this it all looks so different" we differ there because I think it looks the same it has managed to survive the Capitol unscathed even though the rest of the country is destroyed by them
"Right let's see if you can remember how to shoot an arrow" I say slightly afraid after the success of her last attempt
"Ok" she agrees and snatches them out of my hand making me wince, she needs to be careful with them they were the last things my Dad made before he died they are precious to me.
"No Prim you need to hold the bow not just the arrows" I say trying to sound serious about it all "Well you have readied the arrow ok so now pull the string back" she follows my instructions and releases and fails because it dosent even leave the bow
"I don't want to hunt Katniss what else can I do asides from kill poor animals?" typical Primrose, she is a true saint, maybe the woods is not her place after all
"Climb trees, fish, gather"
"No" she says "can't I just watch you kill some animals?" I mean hasn't she seen me kill enough people never mind all those animals
"Ok come on" I say walking to the hiding spot. When we arrive there it is swarming with wildlife of all kinds, birds, rabbits, squirrels, dears, wild dog and a fox in the trees. I take my aim on a male rabbit and shoot without hesitation, it hits in the eye killing it instantly. Prim runs to its aid
"You killed it!" she wails
"Yep as I have done for years, Prim keep it down we are in private land and we could get hunted please keep it down" and she nods in understanding. My next victim is that sneaky fox lurking in the trees. The arrow slices through the air like a bird in the sky, and the trees rustle under its weight as it collapses dead on the floor. I drag the game to the safe hiding spot and put it under the small rock cave Gale and I hide in, it is safe here from animals, humans and Capitol people who all fit into neither category because they are heartless freaks who are far from human, well most of them anyway.
"I don't like the woods very much" she says after a short while
"Why?" I ask but I already know the answer
"I don't like the killing bit, it is like someone coming killing me or Peeta or your baby, and it is no different"
"But if I didn't kill the animals then you, Peeta and my baby would die of starvation and I would rather them than you three" and she nods looking at the tranquil surroundings
"Can we go back please, I don't like it here it is creepy I would rather be a doctor like Mum was. Peeta will be waiting like Indi" but it is clear she is bored, she takes after my Mother: I go round killing people and she follows healing them and that is what Prim wants to do, why? Who knows!
We head back to the district boundary and see that greasy Sue is waiting at the fence with her truck for me to load the game on, I carry the rabbit by the neck and the fox by the tail, Prim put the bow, arrows and keys away for me as I duck under the fence and toss greasy Sue the fresh game to load into the truck, she can use it for an exotic soup or whatever it turns out to be. "Happy birthday" Sue says smiling at Prim who is baffled at the thought of a lady who she hasn't really met to know when her birthday is
"Thank you" she says sweetly
"You brought her up well" she says looking at me and I nod because I taught her manners like my Father taught me I taught her who she should trust and who she shouldn't like my Dad, most would say that is for her to figure out but not where we live. "You have to be getting back that Indi is waiting for you in the square with Peeta and Haymich. Come on I will give you a lift back hop in"
"Thank you" I say getting in with Sue, Prim behind us with the game she is probably trying to revive even though it is well and truly dead and was the second I shot it.
"What does she want?" she asks as we enter the square looking at the ship with the rebellious stamp on it.
"I have to go to 1, I want to fight and now" I say making her almost lose control of the truck
"WHAT!"
"I going to have to go anyways so might as well fight whilst I am there after all this is my rebellion"
"Yes but you are pregnant. Are you stupid they aren't going to be able to keep you safe, they are amateur fighters and they have family's just like you do and will!"
"I don't expect them to make way for me and keep me safe, I can do that myself. I am going by myself anyways"
"Can't I come then?"
"No" and that seems to end the convosation completely
"Please" she asks as we pull up in the square next to Peeta and Haymich
"I'm sorry; please just help me by looking after Peeta and Prim, please"
"Of course I will" and she nods as I get out the truck cabin then I go round and help Prim off the back. She looks wind swept but seems to have enjoyed the experience.
"Where have you been?" Haymich asks hint of a smile "Indi is going mad and Effie is livid, she is late!" and we all can't help but laugh but Prim however dosent see the funny side because she hasn't worked with her before and dosent know how over compulsive she is about being on time.
"What is Effie doing here?" I ask when we have all calmed down
"Indi is dropping her off in the Capitol first because she needs clothes, she can't be done with this khaki uniform and she needs make up; also not sitting well with her and last on her list of priorities is that she needs to talk to Beete and Wirus" yep that sounds like the good old Effie Trinket putting her appearance first then everything else will be ok! Sorry Effie but that is not the way it works we need to do some work to actually make this all work.
"Come on" Indi shouts from the hatch. Peeta steps forward and grabs my arm making me spin round to face him, he kisses me barely giving me a chance to catch my breath, I wrap my arms round his neck and we stay suspended in each other for a moment then rest my head on his shoulder and his hands slide round my back and pulls me in close and my tummy presses agenised his "Katniss, now!" Indi shrieks
"I love you Peeta" I say in his ear
"I love you too, look after yourself out there, no hunting" and I smile to myself then pull back looking and his eyes, at his face, and at his lips that are smiling like nothing bad has ever happened to him or us.
"I will, I promise you" I say then press my lips together and smile as I paint my mask on to my face so he and no one else can see the fact that I just want to cry so I swallow it up and remind myself that I need to be strong for Peeta, Prim and my little baby even my Mother can have a mention since she has come rushing round the corner behind Peeta and grabs hold of Prim
"Where is she?" my Mother yelps almost in tears and Prim points to where Peeta and I stands facing each other and holding hands. Next thing I know my Mother has me by the wrists dragging me away from Peeta, she wants to talk to me but it can't be said in front of him even though he is family and my fiancé and I will in all likely hood tell him anyways because I never listen to her "I thought I had missed you, Katniss I am sorry but I need to tell you how much you do mean to me and I know that I haven't been the best Mum to you or Prim but I do love you and always will, don't go" well I wasn't expecting that, I'm not dying or planning on anytime soon so what is it with the death bed speech
"Mum if Peeta and Prim and James have tried to persuade me not to go and failed then you really don't have a chance"
"That is what I want to put right thought I want my thoughts to count, for you to listen to me and love me" I haven't got time for this I need to get going then, when I get back, I can discuss making up with her even though we have been here before and made up but I think our relationship is too damaged for kiss and make better and this process will take longer than 3 minutes
"Right what do you think?"
"I think you should stay until you have had the baby then go fighting"
"Right, I have listened but I am still going, I have to Indi needs me to go" even though we don't know why I need to go but I am happy to go but with Peeta would have been nicer "Mum I need to go" I say and she kisses me softly on the cheek making me retaliate; my whole body tenses for the seconds that pass then I walk to Peeta feeling too warm about this whole Mother and daughter thing that is going on between us. I wrap my arms round Peeta who isn't really expecting it and takes a moment to do the same
"Love you" I say and pull back so I can see Prim who is beside James and Haymich
"You look after yourself out there" James says as I walk to Prim, I shoot him a smile as I pull Prim in. Her cheeks are like a waterfall and it sinks in to my top through to my skin like acid, it burns me to feel the salt of her tears but I want to stay strong and fight those tears everyone else lets run but Peeta hasn't, James has, my Mother has, no change there, Emma has, Prim has and I even saw Haymich wipe one or two away but honestly I think they are over reacting it really can't be that bad, I know there will be people getting killed and there is a chance that I will be one of them but hello I have lived through starvations and the hunger games twice, I think I can handle this.
I let go of Prim and walk to the hold door trying to look as confident as I feel. I don't look back I just climb into the hold with Effie and Indi "Nice of you to join us" Indi says giving me a hug "Cockpit is all yours if you want it?" I nod and step up the stairs to the hatch and clime in with the pilot in the co seat. It is only then I bring myself to look out the window to my family, to my fiancé, to my sister and brothers. Peeta holds a weepy Prim in his arms as if she will run after the craft when it takes off, he meets my gaze and gives a nod smiling, in response in give him a salute that he copy's.
The plane is airborne in seconds and souring overhead district nine, amazing, within minutes we have covered a distance that would have taken almost a week on foot; but that is, of course, assuming you weren't gunned down at the border.
"How long now?" I ask the pilot whose names Richard according to the badge on his jacket
"Not long ten minutes or so" he says over the sound of chopping blades
"Ok"
"So why exactly do you have to go and why is Peeta not allowed to come?" well I think this is the first time a pilot has asked me questions about my job and a one that I don't even know the answer to.
"I don't know I was just told to come to one and then I decided I wanted to fight while I am out there, might as well" and he smiles
"Why not, after all you only live once" the young pilot says
"Thanks" I say almost laughing "You are the first person that hasn't argued and just said ok, they all gave me a lecture on it"
"My Mother was like that about me joining the rebellion, I was a Capitol boy you see and my Mother still is but all eighteen of my brothers and sisters and my Dad followed me to join except for one of my brothers . So she had to come now she works in the infirmary with your Mother so dose my oldest brother" he lost me at eighteen brothers and sisters, god it is hard enough carrying one (note to self: NEVER AGAIN) never mind seventeen more after that!
"You have eighteen brothers and sisters!?" I can't help it
"Yep four of them are twins: two boys and then two girls!" wow, how on earth can someone be that unlucky having two lots of twins? I actually shouldn't say that because known my luck I will end up with quadruples or worse.
"Prepare for landing in approximately five minutes" he says over the speaker to our guests in the hold
"Are we there already?"
"Yep, look down you will see the remains of one" I look out the window to see, well, nothing. The whole place looks void and inhabited by anything asides from the odd flash of orange that lines a few meters then burns brightly like it will never be put out. The landing spot becomes visible as the plane drops by a few feet and glides then drops again, now I can see all of my rebels looking up at us as we land, no pressure there then Richard. They all step aside to make way for our chopper and one child catches my eye. She is scruffy and cut to bits; she stands by herself wide eyes looking right at me or is it through me? I'm not sure but as Indi opens the door beside me and I emerge people clap and cry at the same time but this girl she just stands looking at me wide eyed
"I am going to see her" I tell Indi and walk in her general direction. As I near her she runs for me, helixes her arms round my back
"Thank you for saving me" she whispers so quietly I can barely hear it but I do and it baffles me; how on earth have I saved her, I have killed most of them; well not personally but it is the same thing this is my rebellion and I have a child who looks about six fighting in it when I have been hiding away, I feel ashamed
"Where is your Mum and Dad sweetie?" I ask her gently kneeling down in front of her so I am level
"I killed them" she says
"What?" and she gives a slight shrug
"They were always mean to me and Rue and all of our brothers they would eat and leave us to starve so I killed them with a gun" she says as though she is proud of it but the thing is, she isn't making sense, she is Rue's sister and she was stationed here instead of eleven? Maybe it is possible I guess but it still dosent make sense "Would you like to see Rue?" no this must be someone else, she died in my arms.
"Yes please" my heart rules my head even though every alarm bell rings you will get hurt but I don't listen and follow the little girl to this barn and when she opens the door I see that it is an infirmary full of patients who are injured. I follow her finger to the corner and my jaw drops.
It's Rue.
Chapter 63
I go to her bedside and her eyes slowly look to her right where I am standing "Rue?" I look at Indi for an explanation
"She is still sort of dead" and I look at the two beeping machines beside her. Beete and Wirus created these machines, they are unique and thought to be a miracle but I disagree with them mostly. I look at the straight line on one and the high one on the other
"It's the machine" and Indi presses her lips together then nods
"The people in the infirmary won't listen to me, that is why you are here, you need to persuade them to let her die, she can see and hear and feel pain, she is heavily sedated all the time but the people won't take her of it she has been like this for almost a year but they just won't, you need to talk to them" she says in a quiet voice
"And what makes you think they will listen to me?"
"They all love you, they look up to you Katniss, please, imagine that is your baby, she is dead yet in pain; you would let him or her go wouldn't you?" I would if she was Prim I would rather her be at peace then clinging on to the thought that one day she might come round
"Who do I need to talk to?" and Indi smiles and takes my hand leading me to a door that is labelled conference room on the opposite side of the infirmary/ barn and burst in without knocking. This makes all the heads turn to face me. On my brief scan of the room I see that there is two seats left for me and Indi
"Katniss" one man says to me "Take a seat, we are discussing Rue you know the girl you let die"
Chapter 64 Indi
They have blamed her for Rues death, not a good idea-
"Excuse me" and she puts her hands on her hips staring at the man like everyone else
"You sat there and let her die"
"What did you want me to do; pull an operating theatre out of my pocket or something?"
"You could have saved her"
"She was already dead, the spear pierced her heart she was always going to die at least she couldn't feel it but now she is thriving in pain because you are keeping her alive on a machine she will die as soon as you turn the thing of don't you see how cruel this is, she should be dead and resting in peace not lying in a hospital playing Guiney pig for a load of whack job doctors who are experimenting on her. I am going to be a Mother in a couple of months and if that was my child and I knew she was going to die or was already dead in Rues case I would deal with it and put her first, sort it out, now" and she glares at the man at the top of the table who is called Jake
"It is not the right thing to do; it is murder!"
"And what you are doing is?" she screams
"It is giving her sister hope"
"She is not daft she knows that her sister is dead and will always be, the machine is giving her energy, shocking her heart that is badly damaged already so you are telling me that it is kind to effectively re kill a badly damaged twelve year old girl? Are you disobeying direct orders?" now that is why I brought her here, she knows how to guilt trip people. Jake is weighing up his options; this is clear because of his facial expression.
"No" and he leaves the room followed by Katniss and the rest of the board. We all gather round Rue's bed but Katniss sits on it and strokes her head gently as the doctor flicks off the switches
"There you go Rue" she whispers into her ear
"Thank you katn" she says her voice fading out as she dose.
"You're welcome" Katniss manages to choke out
"That is what she wanted all along?" Jake adds in conveniently
"Yes" I say so Katniss dosent have to
"I want to fight" she says "I need to kill someone from the Capitol that isn't a rebel!" she looks at me
"Follow me" and I take her hand leaving the barn and heading back to the unoccupied square and to the weapon store, she collects the nearest quiver of arrows and a bow. I collect three quivers of arrows, she'll need them. We make our way to the boundary and down the track then slip behind the barricade under fire but she look strong and happy not alarmed by the whizzing bullets, she has adapted to the surroundings so quickly. Now she is taking stance like me and everyone else readying for the enemy whom don't know that she is here. Now they have no chance at coming at us on foot, she is too fast and too good for them; she is the best fighter here better than all the careers put together and I am glad she likes to fight; she will be doing lots of it
"INCOMING ON FOOT!" the man on lookout shrieks and she doesn't think she stands up and shoots four arrows at the same time and kills four different people at once making the shocked people around her turn their heads but anyone would know it was her, she loads her bow with four more and hits the new approaching Capitol peacekeepers that are coming in from the east, directly from the Capitol. What am I doing you ask, I have to keep reloading her quiver as she shoots them, I am not a fighter, I am just a leader and I would probably be dead within minutes if I stood up like she is. Others are hiding behind the barricade that is only three foot and she has half her body exposed to the shooting range but they won't get the chance to get an arrow anywhere near her, she will shoot them first
"BLOW!" one man shouts and she squats behind the metallic barricade that has small slits in it so people can shoot anything at the approaching enemy, this gives us protection from the explosive devices that we have got our hands on. Once the blast impact has gotten over the worst she is the first and only one to stand back up whilst she continues to shoot four arrows at once at no one, they go back to the Capitol at night but this is early, they have realised who they are up against.
Cowards.
Chapter 65 Peeta
Prim and I have sat on the sofa in the living room since she has left. Prim has been cuddling in to me crying her eyes out but I can't think of what to do because she wants her sister back as much as I want my fiancé back. She has stopped crying suddenly and is sniffling, I look down and see that she is asleep, she has warn herself out completely, I pick her up and carry her upstairs to her first floor room then put her on the bed so she can sleep, turn walking out of her room and across the landing to where my baby's room is just because I don't have to strength to walk up to my room or down to the living room so I might as well sleep on the sofa in there or on the window seat. I just go to open the door as the phone rings, I sigh and plod down the stairs and guess what, it stops, so do I because I collapse onto the sofa closing my eyes if they want me that bad then they can ring back but I get a horrible feeling that that might have been Snows sectary, I would tell her where to stuff her warning of a visit after last time. I close my eyes; hopefully when I wake up Katniss will be home, Prim won't be crying and the baby will be born making Katniss's and my life normal again.
In my dreams I see my future: a nice family, me and Katniss married with a baby girl to see our wedding, not like it would remember it though, we live here with Nadinear and Prim like thing are now but Mathew is here with Ben, it is someone's birthday you see and the whole family are round except from James he is missing but for some reason I don't ask where he is, maybe I already know. Katniss is sitting on the sofa with our baby, me next to her Prim with her Mother, my perfect family, all together not spread out. But I know only too well that this is a dream because Katniss is gone with our baby obviously because it isn't born yet, Mathew is dead apparently, James is ok, I think, Nadinear is at Haymich's, Prim is out cold upstairs, Ben is in the bakery with our parents and me, I'm here dreaming about this while Katniss is in danger so that makes it clear that I need to wake up and fast because if I don't I will think this is reality which it isn't. I prise my heavy eyes open to see that it is now dark outside and prop my stiff body up on my elbows, the kitchen light is on and someone is clattering around in there; this entices me to have a look. It is Nadinear she is making supper even though it should be me doing that since this is technically mine and Katniss's house but we are a family and I look after Nadinear and Prim like I am really their family not just through marriage
"You're up!" she says not getting a fright at my presence
"Yep" I say sleepily
"Can you do me a favour and go get Prim up, she needs to eat" but something about that sentence rings Katniss in lots of different languages, that is not something Nadinear would say but it is something that Katniss would say to her so many time's that it has brain washed her into saying it.
"Sure, what are we having?"
"Pheasant with the bread your Mother dropped off this morning"
"She was here?"
"yep but it was really early, she went up to see you and Katniss but you must have been asleep" ok now that is creepy, coming you to see your son and his fiancé sleeping is weird above all other words I could think of. I turn away and run up the stairs to Prim's room and knock then go in to get her up. She is still fast asleep so I shake her gently awake making her eyes ping open
"Come on it is supper time"
"In my dream I saw Katniss die because she was shot by a bullet when he was trying to shoot them" she spills out them slaps her hand over face "I'm sorry" she splutters out. Where does she get these dreams from?
"It's ok, she is ok" I say as she leans in so I can give her a hug. "It's ok" I lamely repeat to her "Come on lets go supper is waiting for us" I say standing up and taking her hand then leading out the room "I will race you down the stairs" I say trying to lighten the mood a little
"Sliding down on our bums"
"right" I say sitting down on the top step "one two three" and I push off Prim next to me as we bump our way down the stairs to the bottom then crash into the wall
"I won" she says
"No I did" I argue "Best to three"
"It's on" she says running back up the stairs me behind her and sitting down at the top again "One two…. Three" she shouts then uses me to push off the top step thumping her way down stairs and crashes into the wall and I do the same seconds after her "OH it seem I won again" and her whole face smiles in delight
"You did yeah" and I pick her up over my shoulder and walk over to the sofa where I dump her then tickle her making her squeal
"No you won" she giggles
"Thank you" I say and get up turning towards the kitchen, next thing I know she has jumped on my back and hanging off me like a monkey as I walk in to the kitchen
"Prim get off" Nadinear says looking at her
"She is fine" I say smiling and walking backwards into a wall to squash her making her laugh even more
"Peeta do me a favour and go get your Dad or James please I need your help"
"Sure" I say "You coming Prim?"
"Duhh I'm not letting you go out on your own"
"Right" I say and spin round out of the kitchen, Prim still on my back then drop her off on the sofa again
"Peeta" Nadinear shouts from the kitchen. I follow her voice back to the kitchen "We are going to throw her a party for her birthday is that ok?"
"Yeah why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know but I thought I better ask since this is your house but don't tell her and could you maybe leave her with your mum whilst we decorate?"
"I will ask but yeah it should be fine right bye" and I run back into the living room past Prim an out the door making her follow and closing the door behind her. Once outside she takes my hand as we walk across the road to my parents and brother's house to find that the door is unlocked, this is still my house I guess so I walk in and my Mother rushes over to me flings her arms around me, Prim runs into James's open arms
"I came to see you this morning but you and Katniss were fast asleep together so I just left, how are you?"
"I'm fine, Prim took it a little hard but she is ok now I think. What did you want this morning?" I say looking her in her eyes
"I just wanted to see you and Katniss what brings you here then?"
"Will you keep Prim while we decorate the house for the party tonight?"
"Yeah sure she can help me bake a cake if she wants" I nod
"James, Nadinear needs your help, where is Ben and Dad?"
"Ben is upstairs and Dad is fixing the door in the bakery, oo that reminds me it is your shift at the bakery tomorrow" that is what I love about James, he is always bringing me back to reality, not letting me dwell on the bad things.
"Ok" I say then run up the stairs to Ben's room, if it can be called that, I can barely get through the door for the junk that clutters the room, I am surprised that I can even find him because the junk continues up to the bed where he is lying "Ben, Nadinear needs our help for Prim's birthday tonight you coming"
"Yep if I can get out I will"
"Ben what the hell happened to your room?"
"I haven't left it for nearly two days" and looking around his explanation matches the facts, it is disgraceful, I mean I was always getting told off for being messy but I was never this bad
"I can see, come on lets go" I say
"Married life has changed you bro" he says randomly
"Well I'm not married so that just dosent work bro" I say and give a sarcastic smile as he dodges, from the looks of it, a squashed sandwich
"come on and don't tell her about the party Ben please" since he is very dopy at the best of times I thought I would straighten out what the term 'surprise' means because it would break Nadinear's heart if Prim found out.
"Ben go and get Dad, I need to talk to Peeta" James says as we get in to the living room. Ben hurry's off to the bakery that is only a few moments' walk from here "Peeta sit down please" James instructs me. We are in the living room all by ourselves now and the tension that is buzzing unnerves me "Katniss got injured in an explosion this morning, she is alright but-." I put my hand up not wanting to hear the last few words
"Stop I don't want to hear it" I say "You don't know for sure though right?" both my hands glide through my hair and stop at the top
"It was a concern that was all, Indi said that it impact might have killed it or it could be as well as Katniss is"
"Get me her on the phone now please James, I need to know" I mean impact can't kill a baby can it?
"Peeta-,"
"No I have a right to know please"
"OK" he agrees reluctantly and beings to dial the number on the house phone "Indi please, it is urgent" silence then "James and Peeta Malark" then silence again as he passes the phone to me
"Hello" Indi says
"Indi it is Peeta, how is she what about the baby let me speak to her please"
"She is here I will put her on" at least she is with her and not ash or underground. There is murmuring in the back ground then;
"Peeta?" it is her thank god
"Are you ok what happened" I ask trying not to bombard her with questions
"I'm fine, we all are but Indi worry's too much, god we all got flung a little but not much" she is so… unconcerned by the fact she has essentially been blown up, literally. "and just to tell you in case you are worried the baby is fine, it kicked before too so yeah it is fine" she says making my eyes prick with tears. "Love you, oo and I might have a surprise for all of you"
"Love you too" I just about manage to get out
"Love you, bye" and she blows me a kiss down the phone as I hang up. Crying silently I rest my face in my hands
"Well?" James says putting his arm around me
"They are both fine" and I nod pulling myself together by sucking in air "I hope that never happens again and if it does don't tell me, I feel sick and in need of beer" I say standing up like it is the answer to everything, I swear before long I could be Haymich the amount I drink- no not even I drink that much.
"In the fridge" James calls
"I know" I shout back as I get one out the fridge, my Mother looks at me then grabs me hugging me close
"Peeta I am so sorry!" she says, do I really look that bad?
"Why?" I question
"About Katniss and the baby" with that Prim's head jerks up and spins round
"They are both fine, it was Indi overreacting" I say making the two of them exhale in relief, something even relaxes in me for saying it properly for the second time and I hope I never have to have that feeling again because it is sick and vile.
Chapter 66 Katniss
I ride in the cock pit again with the same pilot, Richard. I sit the whole way with my hands on top of my belly I could hear the worry in Peeta's voice, the strain to ask if I was ok and the relief when I said I was, the rest drained from his voice and turned to joy when I told him that our baby has been kicking me to bits. I can't wait to see his face when he sees the surprise, Prim's too since it is her birthday, well what is left of it, I always promised myself that her thirteenth birthday party would be amazing but I hope at least my Mother will do something for her and Peeta will do something I'm sure, he is good like that him and his brothers fuss over her badly so they wouldn't let her birthday go without some form of celebration "Katniss?" it is Indi from the hold
"Yep" I answer into the microphone
"We have to call in at thirteen"
"Then I can go home for a few hours?" I ask hopefully for the second time hopefully getting a better answer
"We will have to see what time it is first" that is one hundred times better that her initial reply
"OK" I reply, simply because if I argue I will not get home for what remains of her birthday that is the surprise you see. I look down over a district that I call home, this is where my family are right now celebrating my little sisters big birthday party that I am missing to go to thirteen "Why are we going to thirteen Indi?" I ask
"I need to report my findings to the deputy; we are transporting more rebels there through the night. After what I saw I think we need it, you did a good job today; gave them hope and they need it and I think you should get checked over in the infirmary" this is very true they are losing hope and sharp that is one of the reasons I wanted to fight to give them hope and because I hate the Capitol and the more of them I kill the better I feel, I know it sounds Syco but when you witness the things I have that is all their doing, it helps.
"Why do I have to go to the infirmary I feel fine" I say rolling my eyes
"We were flung against a metal barricade, you are getting checked out" she argues
"Was not, really, fine" I say slumping in the chair
As the plane lands and we emerge Indi slaps her hand over her mouth at the sight of the giant crater before us "Two days" she says shocked "Two flipping days and the place is in ruins" she says then marches straight to the metallic door me close behind her with Richard "Let me in now" she demands making the doors glide open jerkily and the guard whacks his hand up stopping me from passing but blasts me full force on my tummy
"Don't even bother" she snarls "She is the reason you have a job, call a board meeting, now!" she impatiently demands making him step to and make the phone call. Indi presses for eighty two the all so familiar board room that Peeta and his brothers kicked off and I discovered that Madge's Father killed her, she was my friend when my Father died, her brother died in the same blast so I felt sorry for her. I knew what she was going through but she didn't really know just like me and I guess now she never will know who took her brother and I will take great pleasure in killing Mathew on both of our behalf's even though she is dead. I was so deep in thought that I didn't realise we were in the lift and almost at eighty one.
The metallic doors glide open and we walk into the open conference room door were everyone waits but my eyes are drawn to Gale who is walking towards me with his arms open and as we press together they close around me but mine remain in the pocket of my Father's hunting jacket, I can't hug him after everything, he isn't family and he certainly isn't the man I love. I push him away then go and sit next to Indi at the opposite side of the table to him before he gets any ideas, just a precaution. "We need loads more rebels in one, they can't cope; they have a constant stream coming fresh from the Capitol and they are exhausted only a handful can fight properly, they didn't know what hit them when Katniss turned up and did their work for them" she says
"Until she was blown up you mean" Gale interrupts
"I WAS NOT" I shout offended "It was the impact against the barrier that is all, I barely moved none of us even got hurt" I say glaring at him
"Whatever" he snarls under his breath
"What was that?" I ask
"Nothing" he says
"No come on tell me"
"It dosent matter" he says
"Tell me now or I will kick your teeth in Gale and don't think I won't" but I know I am overreacting but I really don't care it will give the rest of the guests something to look forward to then listening to Indi prattle on at nine o'clock at night, I mean come on
"Katniss calm down, we need to sort out why the hell I have a crater at my front door and when the rest will be getting there, quicker we get this over with the quicker you get home, got it" she says making a good point so I sit down but Gale isn't finished
"Thought nothing comes before your family, yet you're here and not with Prim, believe it is her twelfth birthday?" I screech my chair back and start for him, kinda regretting sitting so far away from him now
"Don't you dare" I shout
"Katniss he isn't worth it leave it" dr Blags says grabbing my hand "Think of your baby, Peeta's baby, who is this helping?" for god sakes like mine and Peeta's baby cares if I kill Gale or have a fight I'd be doing it a favour actually
"Well it would make me feel a god damn better" I say "Just get him out man" I say and walk back to my chair as he walks out. "Her thirteenth actually" I snarl just before he slams the door shut dramatically but I know he heard
Chapter 67 Gale
I was mean to say that, I know what she has done for that kid because she has brought her up and even I know that I was wrong to play happy family's after what I did to her and Peeta, even though it kills me to say it; I respect Peeta and as soon as I see them next I will make it up to them but I don't know how. I sit down in the hall on the floor resting my face on my hands, I have pushed her away and never given her the chance to forgive me.
Chapter 68 Katniss
As the meeting draws to a close and I have apologised to Indi for almost having a fight we make our way out of the conference room and back into the lift.
"Indi we have knowledge that the Capitol might me heading for us in 5 minutes" Richard says as we get out of the lift and into the entrance hall, as Indi calls it or the proper name; security floor
"We need to get her back to twelve and fast right, how good are you at flying?" she asks him
"He is our best ma'am" the chief of pilots says "Best battle pilot I have seen, if anyone can get her out under fire it is him" he say then solutes and walks away
"Three minutes!" Richard says sounding alarmed
"What we waiting for, come on" I say and we run out of the safety of the bunkers and to the plane that is surrounded by armed men, swinging open the door I climb in at the same time as Richard and he instantly starts the engine as he pulls back the throttle making the plane stilts lift of the pad. Once the plane is vertical my sight is filled by overhead enemy planes that shower bullets above us
"I would put your belt on" he shouts over the sound of metal on metal, I obey as he throws the plane to a sharp right to dodge what looks like some form of bomb but yet I no shock fills me, adrenalin takes Its place because yet again I am surrounded by danger but in the air not on the ground, no place to run or hide, I look over at my pilot and a bead of sweat pricks on his forehead but the concentration clearly powers him, another sharp turn but this time it is left making us face east and the good old district twelve's woods as it comes into full view and since the firing seems to be out of our range, he relaxes and slows the ship down to prepare to land in the square that seems to have a become the landing pad since we became the leaders and the transportation device that collected us from the arena seems to have either malfunctioned or been taken out.
Once we have landed I get out with haste to assess the damage with Richard but it is minimal just a few bullet holes here and there and a hair line crack on the windscreen "What are you going to do?" I ask
"Go back, I'll cover for you"
"Why?" why would he have to cover for me?
"I am supposed to stay and bring you back in half an hour but I will try, get you couple of hours, and be with your family"
"Thank you and can I just say you are a great pilot, you'll have to teach me someday" he smiles as I turn to head back to the village, I don't turn back to see him off, I just brake into a run straight down the black lane. Once there in the village I slow down a little to get my breath back and to settle the adrenaline from the ride, as I approach my house all the lights are on and the window is open with laughter filtering out like a tap, I look through the glass in the front door but see nothing because it is frosted but as I knock. I can clearly see a figure approach the door, given the build it must be James or Peeta but part of me hopes it will be James, more of a surprise for him and Prim. The door unlocks and it is James who just smiles giving me a hug
"How are you?" he whispers
"Fine, is Peeta and Prim here?" he nods "I haven't got long" he leads into the house as I close the front door behind me
"Look who I found!" he says and I emerge from the porch
"Katniss!" Prim squeals "You came back!" she says winding her arms round me as Peeta walks over to me smiling
"Nice to see you" he say but I don't get time to answer because our lips meet along with our hands after Prim lets go of me. Peeta is the first to realise that we are not alone and pulls back to see that people have moved on doing what they want, he leans in again and his lips brush my neck sending chills down me like an electrical current "How long have you got?" he asks almost right in my ear but it is so soft I can barely hear it
"Half an hour, two if we are lucky" I say
"Then what?"
"Don't know, back to one maybe two" I find his lips again greedily, wanting more and he gives but it isn't enough, it will never be enough because something has to be behind these moments it can't just be because we can and want to it is because something has happened or is about to happen. I only pull back and end the moment because I need stupid air and Prim is calling for me and Peeta so she can blow out the candles. I lead Peeta to the dining table from the middle of the living room, the cake is clearly made by Peeta, his brothers and their parents because it is lovely, clean white icing is spread round it evenly with two daisy like flowers also made out of icing stuck on the top with a 13 iced on in yellow and pink swirly writing clearly Emma's work because it is similar to her normal writing. The cake has been carefully placed on a silver board with candles stuck in as Prim blows them out, they each flicker and dance as she does it then poof into streams of smoke like water trickling and worming down a river "Happy birthday Prim" I say giving her a hug "Sorry I wasn't here for most of it"
"You are here now and plus it wasn't your fault, you were here this morning and took me into the woods and then you are here tonight" she says making me feel slightly better. I look up at the clock on the wall behind the table that I could have sworn wasn't there this morning it is half one in the morning, the meeting went on for two hours, longer than any of us anticipated. Then the journey, half an hour so I have been her an hour and a half, it doesn't feel like it though. Now Prim's birthday is technically over and the twenty second has begun yet we have just blown out her candles. "How long are you going to be here for?"
"Don't know because I should technically been half way to district one by now but no one has come for me yet" I say quietly to her "So anyways you didn't like the woods?"
"No, I would rather save people and help you look after the baby when it is born with you since you'll have stopped hunting"
"Who says I'm going to stop hunting just because I have a baby?" I tease
"I thought you would rather be with it"
"But to be with it I need to be able to feed it proper meat not the slops the Capitol gives us on a rare occasion" and I sit down with her beside me on the sofa in peace as the sun comes up lighting the room with its pinkie orange raise, Peeta and James are way too drunk to be able to remember this, Peeta has got drunk in the time between me coming in and now, this begs the question; how? and Haymich is sprawled out on the kitchen floor because he has worked his way through fifty cans, Peeta and James have had five each but yet they are very drunk, my Mother went to bed with only one can in her because she can't handle a drink Ben isn't drunk at all, Emma and Robert went home sober about two hours ago and me and Prim are sober and calm just watching the sun rise up taking It's place in the sky for the commencing day. "I better help get Peeta upstairs before he has anymore" I say as him and James crack open another can "Peeta" I say making him look around confused as to who said his name, like a untrained dog really, "Come on" I say as he comes over to me, he can handle drink unlike my Mother because you really wouldn't think he was drunk looking at him but I have watched him drink the house dry with the help of Haymich and his brother. I take his hand then guide him up stairs to our room that unfortunately is up two flights of stairs, not ideal but James will need to stay here tonight and will be in the guest room, and Haymich, well he makes do with the study most nights and since he is always in more pain from his banging head ach I don't think a stiff body will matter, the booze will mask it like it normally does for him, Peeta normally regrets it when Prim is here because he has an even worse hangover than before because she has a knack of being louder and peskier than ever when she knows he has been drinking, funny. Once I have him in the room he just gets straight into bed in his clothes but now we kind of just do that normally because we always have some reason to be woken up through the night so it is better to be in clothes than pyjamas since the crisis always involves going out somewhere with someone. I climb in next to him and after ten minutes he starts to randomly laugh "What?" I say trying not to laugh myself
"I had a dream that you were in one then came home and I got a little drunk then Gale came in the door downstairs to wish Prim happy birthday" he says then laughs again
"Peeta all of that did happen apart from Gale being here and you are very drunk" I say as he puts his arms around me
"What time is it?" I look at the clock that is now above my fireplace at the bottom of the bed, I swear these things just appear in this house, like Indi's crater at her 'front door' as she put it, it just appeared.
"Twenty to two in the morning" I say making him gasp
"Wow, let's go back to sleep, want to see you beat up Gale in dream" now that didn't make sense but I know what he means and if he had of been at that meeting I very nearly did if Blagg hadn't been there to guilt trip me.
I have a bad night, all I see is my Dad, him in the woods getting shot, him in the mine setting fire to it and the black market all of which aren't true but this still horrifies me to think that my mind can make this up! Then to make things a tad worse my lovely little innocent baby decides to use me as a ball and kick me to bits, at one point it was so hard that Peeta even felt it because we are cuddled in so tightly, he smiles and shifted closer to me, I do like this though being all cosy like a real family without, as much as I love them, my family; Prim and my Mother that is because they always take priority and have done since I was little but now I need to remember that Prim is older and I have a new born baby to look after or will have in three months' time. I really do feel sorry for Peeta, he has never had to bring anyone up before, and I have so I am an expert at it but we will do it together like we said and like Haymich said. Nonetheless I keep forgetting that this baby will have to have me and Peeta there and as many people as we can get to protect it, the danger it is in frightens the hell out of me but I push it to the back of my mind, Peeta will be there the second it is born to protect it and somehow I don't see how he will let Snow get his hands on it. My drowsy eyes snap closed even tighter than before as I picture our family, I'm my dreams I always see a girl but that is not certain so 'it' or 'the baby' can be its name until it is born, I wonder what Peeta thinks it will be, what does he want. I don't mind because he or she will be perfect to me simply because it is mine and Peeta's
Chapter 69 Prim
My thirteenth. I was everything she promised me but she wasn't there to see it! She was taken by Indi but first she took me to the woods like she swore she would then the party tonight was lovely. It was a massive celebration because I have never had a birthday party before, no one really has party's in the districts because they are so poor but the age thirteen is special you see, thirteen and sixteen because they are, no reasons they just are. Katniss never got to celebrate her birthdays and to be honest she doesn't even know when it is only that it is sometime in September, once me and Peeta were talking and decided that if their baby was born in September the date it was born would be her birthday as well as the baby's but I know now that that will never happen, it will be born end of March or the start of April depending.
As I look out the window at the rain I realise that the night is more interesting when it rains, patterns form on the window, I wonder if Daddy will come see me tonight, but then again he wished me happy birthday last night. I place my hand on the spot where he sat last night to sing me to sleep and wish me happy birthday, will he go see Katniss and Peeta? Does he know what she is having, a boy or a girl? Can he talk to it? I wonder.
Chapter 70 Emma
James, my eldest son, the one Peeta looks up to of his two brothers yet he has had to stay at Nadinear's house with Haymich because they are too drunk to get home! Peeta, thank god isn't too bad but after what he been through it is acceptable but I still don't like it. Honestly I think that Katniss is the real reason he gets up in the morning because without her he would just fall apart like Haymich did but Katniss is making him, he has responsibilities now and he knows it, so does she. I love Katniss like she is my daughter and Prim too, when you bring up three boys and originally had four you forget how nice it would be to have another girl in the house! So I love having Prim for a couple of hours. She is nothing like Katniss though, Katniss is a strong fighter who has miraculously won the games once against all the odds and been rescued from the second one, she has taken the rebellion in her stride and yet never forgot about Prim or her Mother, Prim however was brought up by Katniss, she is not as strong as her sister in that way, she has never been in that predicament when she has had to bring up someone else's child that happens to be your sister therefore she can't fight like Katniss, she hasn't been in an arena or the woods, but she is just a kind and loving person like her sister and I just hope Joe is proud of Katniss for what she did for Prim they are both lovely girls and I'm sure Peeta and Katniss will bring a child into this world that is like her.
Chapter 71 Peeta
When I wake up my head is spinning with pain, I have my arms wrapped round Katniss tightly. Last night I had way too much to drink; more than ever before and I don't know why just that it was Prim's birthday and me and James got carried away with Haymich, I don't actually know how Katniss is here, the bump gives her away though it is so familiar to me now, she should be in district one or something but I would rather her here in my arms then someplace else where she is out of my reach completely. She shifts slightly then turns to face me, her eyes pressed shut, she isn't asleep though, I can tell by how hard she is trying to keep them shut! I gently shake her until she laughs "Whattt" she says trying to sound sleepy but failing
"Come on" I say as she opens one eye
"Where we going?"
"The balcony" as the other eye opens I see the confusion on her face as she stares past me out the front window, opposite to the balcony door
"It's raining" I nod in response "Why you weirdo, we will get wet" she laughs
"Come on" and she shakes her head leaving me no choice. I get out of bed walk round to her side and pick her up out to bed and spin round heading to the door her kicking and giggling and squealing. As I open the door the rain licks my face and hers too, our clothes from yesterday are getting wet too, once on our small balcony I put her down and pull her close "We should be married" she whispers as I lean in and kiss her, we should be married, this is true but right now we can't.
"We are as good as" I say as I breath in but get a mouthful of cold rain, we are soaking already, the water streams off our hair as it falls around us but the thing is, it is perfect, strange but perfect. I lean my head against hers as she kisses me, her arms wrapped round my neck we are swaying slightly to the sound of splashing rain against the wrought iron fence.
"Come with me" she says slightly breathless
"Where?"
"You'll see" she says taking my hand and leading into the bedroom leaving the balcony door open then out the bedroom door to the landing. Once at the top of the stairs she spins round and kisses me as we take to the stairs swiftly descending down them to the middle floor. Her grasp on my hand tightens as though she will never let go and I hope she dosent. We spin round the corner on the middle floor to go down our second flight of stairs careful not to wake our family. She jumps of the last two steps letting go of my hand, she heads for the door but waits for a moment so she can kiss me and whisper in my ear "Ready?"
"Yep" I say back into her ear as my lips brush her neck gently. She opens the door letting the rain in on to the carpet as we leave letting the rain slice and whip at our skin and clothes, our hands, entwined in each other's as we walk down the lane, I know where we are going now. Even though it is pouring down with rain we walk round like it is a lovely summer's day, without a care in the world! As we approach the hill, it seems the rain has got heavier but we still go up the hill as we slip and slide in the mud falling onto the ground now and again but we soon reach the top and sit down in the muddy grass, this spot holds memory's for us now and always will. "We should come here more often" I say to her as we sit on top cuddling in to each other, keeping each other warm , the rain is beginning to die now but it drizzles onto our faces, her head rests on my shoulder and her hair is like plastered to her face, no doubt mine is the same. There is a brake in the clouds and a raise of heat beats down on us instead of rain pulling the water droplets from our skin, clothes and hair
"It's twelve o'clock" she says out of the blue
"How do you know that?" I ask puzzled
"The sun" she says and straight away I remember, she knows what time it is by looking at the sun and she knows what the weather will be like by looking at the clouds and animals, I wish I could do that.
Chapter 72 Prim
"Go and get Katniss and Peeta up please" my Mother asks as she and I make dinner for the four of us. I nod then run up all the stairs until I get to their room, the door is open and because my feet are bare I can feel that the floor is wet but all makes sense when I walk in, the balcony door is wide open and they are gone leaving the bedding mangled and out of place, my Mother is going to be VERY mad. I know where they are, the hill of course; that is why I am not like: where are they? Or crying my eyes out, we all know that if they are not in the house they will be on the hill, at the bakery or Indi has got them, if all three options don't apply and they aren't back in a day that is when you can start to panic! I turn on my heels as I head off back down the stairs to the kitchen
"They are gone" I say getting back to work or should I say cooking something that my Mother calls 'veg' but really it just looks like mush not a ripe carrot or a green broccoli
"Where?" I love it how she asks me like I would know.
"The hill probably or maybe Indi realised Katniss was still here and took them both back with her to one or wherever she was before my party" my Mother rolls her eyes at me as she turns to check the meat "What's that?" my curiosity gets the better of me, she hates it when people look over her shoulder at what she is doing and especially when they comment on it.
"It is rabbit that Katniss gave me a few weeks ago; it has been in the cellar all this time"
"Hang on we have a cellar?"
"Yeah, I found the door in the study yesterday; thought everyone knew about it but conveniently forgot to tell me about it"
"No I didn't know but Peeta and Katniss might have known especially Katniss since she spends so much time in there making phone calls to Indi, Snow and whoever else she talks to" I giggle but I don't think she knew either "Can I go and find her and Peeta please?" I ask my Mother half expecting her to object
"Fine but hurry" she says but I am already half way out the door and making my way out to the hill at the end of the village the journey will probably take me about five minutes but at the pace I am going it will probably take ten!
Chapter 73 Katniss
"Peeta, Katniss; Mum is going crazy because dinner is almost ready and you aren't there…. Why are you so wet?" she questions
"We took a walk" Peeta says as his warm lips close around mine
"Then why is the floor in your room soaking?"
"We went onto the balcony, Prim what is with all the questions?" I ask her worried
"Did you know we have a cellar?" she says avoiding my question completely
"No" I say being polite and answering her question "What are you asking all of these questions for?"
"Don't know, you two coming or what?" I decide not to press the matter any further. Without a word to her Peeta and I walk home with Prim in front, she doesn't disturb us so we hold hands the whole way back right until we reach the open front door. Once inside I feel bad because Mother is sitting at the table waiting for us; food set out getting cold.
"You could at least tell me where you are going and when" she snarls at me as I take my seat
"I don't have to tell you anything" I shoot back making Prim snort and Peeta smile, my Mother screeches her chair back
"I am your Mother, just like Joe was your Father"
"But you cannot call yourself that, my Dad looked after me, if it weren't for him I wouldn't be here now, I never saw you teaching me how to survive, in fact I think I should be called Mother I was more of a one than you were and ever will be, and he is still mine and Prim's Dad just like you are our Mother. We need to stop this fighting because I am sick of it but first you need to stop pretending like you were the best Mother on this planet, you left me Mum so I am under no obligation to tell you anything!" but this feud has go on for ages now and I am getting bored of it, like a roundabout you see the same thing each time you go round, I tuck into my rabbit and god knows what this mush is, she sits down next to Prim on the opposite side of the table to me and Peeta
"I'm sorry" she pipes up just as we are finishing our meal "Peeta I'm sorry you have to see it" wow she is feeling very generous today
"I'm used to it now it is fine" and he lets out a giggle along with me and my sister but my Mum is far from impressed but who cares!
Chapter 74 Haymich
"Thank you Indi" I say as I hang up, but the news I have just received shocks me but doesn't surprise me, it was only ever a matter of time until he would come after one of us but it just so happens to be me, I'm glad.
I leave the house and run round to Katniss and Peeta's house to tell them/ warn them about the plan. I knock on the door and wait as someone approaches the door. "Hi" a cheery Prim says jumping back into the house
"Is Katniss and Peeta there?"
"Yeah" she says as I follow her into the house and stand by the study door under the stairs "Katniss, Peeta, Haymich is here" she shrills up the stairs but I doubt they will have heard her. Moments later they come running down the stairs giggling
"Hey" Katniss says, she is soaking wet and so is Peeta
"Why are you so wet?" I ask unsure if I really want to know the answer
"We has a slight incident with the shower" and the two giggle then kiss, blah, blah, blah.
"We need to talk urgently, leave the kissy bits till later" the pair pull apart and look at me
"Come on then" she says opening the door to the study. I walk in, her behind then Peeta closing the door "Yep" she says smiling
"I have just got a phone call off Indi, Snow is coming for me this time it is for real, Effie accidently overheard Ella in a Capitol café, Beete rigged the place with one of his toys and got it into the office, they are coming, and he is coming"
"I need to sit down" Katniss says as sits on the desk chair
"We knew this was going to happen eventually Katniss" Peeta says leaning against a bookshelf on the opposite side of the room
"Yeah but not now, and it shouldn't be him" she argues
"Who would you rather" I add
"Look I don't know but why you?"
"We don't know but it is better than you and Peeta at least we know they are coming so we can get you out in time, we are getting rebels over here from eight to protect you in the meantime just in case, we will look after you two I promise" Peeta punches the wall with his bare fist
"Peeta" she says looking up
"No, I am sick of it, Haymich can't we just get me and Katniss to the Capitol and kill him?"
"Indi has tried all ways to think of a way to avoid it but the best way to keep you two safe is to have me taken, keep them occupied while we figure out where we can put you to keep you safe for a while, in hiding if you must"
"We can't just let you go Haymich" she says "You are important to us, you kept us alive so we will think of a way to get you out of this I promise" and Peeta walks past me and pats me on the back then kneels down in front of Katniss
"We will sort this" he says to her
"Too right we will" and she stands up, walks round the desk to me "I'm so sorry Haymich" and I close my arms around her, Peeta stands and nods at me as Katniss lets go and turns to him sometimes I forget that she is seventeen, she is so strong and if she put her mind to it she could probably overrule Snow any day and then with Peeta by her side she seems to be even stronger and determined but she is after all seventeen and can't be expected to handle everything by herself I mean you half what she has been through is enough to make anyone crack but she hasn't and nor has Peeta they get each other through everything. Katniss lets go of Peeta and swings open the door Peeta and I follow her but I almost get knocked out by the door as it closes "Prim" she shouts as she slides in from the kitchen "If I asked if I could have a beer what you would say?"
"No" and Katniss sighs
"Not even one?"
"Nope"
"We can though" Peeta says to me
"No if I can't you can't" Katniss says grabbing Peeta's arm "We have a shower to fix" she says then runs up the stairs after him, I want a beer, I'm the one that deserve one!
Chapter 75 Katniss
Once upstairs we decide to leave the shower since we are soaking wet after Peeta decided to brake it making it squirt all over the bathroom but it just so happened that I was in there at the time as well as him. We both got drenched but I only went in to get my brush and I come out with a broken shower, dripping wet and a laughing fit; my hair, a tiny bit passed just a brush. We sit down on our window seat giggling, but we both know we have got nothing to giggle about now "What are we going to do about Haymich?" Peeta says as I rest my head on his chest therefore allowing me to hear his heart "We can't let him go"
"Peeta we have no choice, it was just like the games, it is him, me or you"
"It can't be you" but I really don't see why
"Why though?"
"Katniss I love you and wouldn't let you go to the Capitol with that freak show" he finds my hand and holds it tightly "It is me or Haymich going"
"But you two can't kill him, only I can plus I have been looking forward to it!"
"No Katniss you aren't going and nor is Haymich, it is going to be me" I shake my head in disagreement
"I couldn't let you go I'm the same, I love you too much and Haymich, why the hell can't Gale go? No one likes him anyways"
"They want Haymich, they are coming for Haymich so they will get Haymich, you heard what he said" he reminds me, I look down at our hands he plays with my engagement ring that still shines and dazzles, I can't lose Peeta but then again I can't lose Haymich, unless I get my head together and we come up with a plan so that once he is taken we can get him back before they do any Capitoly stuff on him and turn him into a freak that wants all the people in the districts dead, brain washed that is what he would be.
"Stop it" Haymich says making me look up "I heard what you said Katniss" my eyes glide away from him and land back on our entwined hands he still plays gently with my ring "You need to stop figuring things out and just stop! Gale isn't going, you defiantly aren't going and Peeta isn't going that only leaves me so please Katniss just concentrate on your family I am strong and can look after myself you and Peeta have enough to worry about!"
"You are my family though Haymich" I say
"Katniss you heard him and me just stop please he will go regardless of what we think" Peeta says calmly then kisses the back of my head gently
"I'm sorry but why can't we just think of an alternative" Peeta lets go of my hands and grabs the back of my head and his lips close around mine, this is much better than fighting a losing battle with him and Haymich over who is going
"Just shut up and get on with it" Haymich says and pats me on my head but me and Peeta are a bit too busy to say anything back so he just slips out the door closing it after him leaving me and Peeta on the window sill until I pull back
"Better?" he whispers
"Yeah I'm sorry for going on" but before he can reply we are kissing again clearly meaning apology accepted. The clattering downstairs alarms me and I think it continues into Peeta's nerves because we break apart and look at each other
"What was that?" he asks me I am sitting upstairs right in front of him and have been kissing him for the last ten minutes so he asks me I mean why
"I don't know nor do I want to because I need to concentrate on my family" I close my fingers between his
"Good so you have finally seen sense" he teases "why don't you go hunting?" I have been contemplating this for a while
"I would rather stay here with you for as long as possible" I conclude
Chapter 76 Peeta
She fell asleep in my arms about half an hour ago and in that time I have been brewing on what Haymich said about getting on with it. I know that he didn't mean us kissing he meant something else and I think he means for her to come up with a plan, he know she can't just leave it, he knows she will have thought of a plan and to be honest so do I. Of course she will have come up with some form of a plan and anyone who doubts that either don't know her at all or is stupid or is of course Ben; whatever category he falls under. But in that time I have actually came up with my own idea; we fit a tracker to Haymich so we can keep a tab on where he is in the Capitol and then locate him once we have a rescue party together maybe then we can get Katniss close enough to shoot the heartless freak whilst we are at it that way it saves us the hassle of going again by which time most of our rebels will more than likely be dead or captured until they have been stripped of all their possessions most of which include their family's too. Ours however is probably the safest in the whole of panem, we have Katniss and she scares me sometimes never mind anyone who dares to threaten us. If someone threatened to hurt Katniss I would protect her with my life, I always promised that to myself but so far I haven't done a good job because so far she has been threatened with danger all her life and even now, but at least now I can look after her, make sure she is safe. I play with her ring gently as she sleeps for a while then decide that I might as well catch up with some sleep I rest my chin against the back of her head, her soft hair brushes against my chin as she moves her head.
In my dreams I see what we are doing to people, killing them and then there is us sitting here in our room nice and cosy and safe playing happy families with the family we have and the one we are expecting. But yet others are putting theirs on the line because of us. Next I see a little girl playing in an arena, she must only be about six or seven but she has a knife then Katniss comes out of the ground scooping her up telling her how much she loves her. Then to my horror an arrow is shot killing both of them. Me I am there screaming and crying as I look at them. It soon becomes clear that we are married when I see the ring on my finger meaning the little girl is my daughter. Then I am here again on the window sill with Snow in my arms replacing Katniss, he has her engagement ring on and smells of roses and blood mixed together creating the unique stench that can only define him and all his other definitive features.
"Peeta" she is shaking me awake but my eyes are too lazy "Wake up we have been asleep since yesterday afternoon!" I open one eye to see she has turned round and is looking at me. So that means it is the twenty third, Mathew's birthday according to my Mother, she still wishes him a happy birthday to herself because it apparently helps her to forgive herself for disowning him.
"What can we do today then other than sit here?"
"I was thinking of sitting here all day but we should probably go and see Haymich and then maybe your brothers and Mum and Dad maybe greasy Sue sees how her niece is. Just get out and keep busy" this plan sound good to me apart from seeing my Mother; she will be lousy company today and I don't really know greasy Sue just her name and that because I went to find her I almost got shot so maybe not a bright idea for me to go.
"What about Prim what will she be doing today"
"She can mind my Mum and make sure she doesn't get into trouble while we are gone" I remember the last time we went out and her Mother went into the seam and then she tried to kill some peacekeeper. We share everything with each other so why should I keep this from her other than to protect her
"Katniss it is Mathews birthday today" and she tenses up in my arms
"You should go see your Mum make sure she is ok"
"No, we should you are our family and we all love you"
"Come on then" she says getting up and disappearing round the corner where the bed is and next to it is the walk in wardrobe, where she is probably heading right now. I go out the door onto the landing then straight down the stairs until I get to the bottom of all three flights of stairs to see Nadinear sitting at the kitchen table with Prim
"Morning" I say
"Hey" Nadinear says as I walk past
"Morning" Prim chimes in "What are you doing today; I'm watching Mum treat greasy Sue's niece and I might be able to join in too!"
"What's wrong with her?" I say trying not to sound alarmed
"She has something wrong with her and I think if I can look at her I might be able to figure out what it is and then how to treat her, don't tell Katniss, she doesn't need to know all this"
"No, I can't lie to her she deserves to know!" I say, I don't argue with Nadinear much but when it comes to Katniss I will, not only is it unfair, it will make us argue too
"Please, she will start shutting down" Prim sniggers at her mother's reply
"That is not what Katniss will do she will start to act and you are just worried that she will start telling you what to do!" Prim says
"Up to your room now and Peeta get out you have no right to be here this is my house and you shouldn't be contradicting me"
"Actually this is mine and Katniss's house we have been given it to share because we are as good as married. My family have a house because I was a victor too but the rules apply to them if I die they will have to move out the same applies to Katniss and you we are letting you live here not the other way round therefore I can contradict you as much as I want in my house under my roof and I don't wish to lie to my fiancé or be chauffeured out my house thank you" and I turn heading in to the kitchen to get a cup of something and make Katniss something to eat before we go out. There is a knock at the door
"For god sakes the house isn't my own anymore" Nadinear says as she opens the door
"It never really was though" I shout back
"Hey" James says coming into the kitchen
"Want one or is it too early?" and I show him a can as I open one
"After the morning I have just had there is no such thing as too early"
"Mum?" I say taking a complete guess
"Got it in one, it took me and Ben to get her to sleep last night; I had to sit at the top of the stairs because she was sleep walking while crying her eyes out"
"Where was Dad?"
"He was with Haymich last night, left us two to look after her, he knew she would be bad so he disappears leaving us two to look after her"
"You should have come and got me, I only realised this morning, I had a feeling she would be bad but not that bad"
"Hey" Katniss says coming in the kitchen she looks at the cans "Rough morning I'm guessing" we both nod and she smiles
"Oo yeah your Mum is having a look at that Sue's niece to see if she can work out how to treat her"
"Cool so she will be here while we go out and what is with the whole door slamming routine from Prim?"
"She got told off when we were arguing with your Mum"
"That explains the whole isn't my house anymore and it never was thing this morning, real warm welcome" James recalls as he takes a swig
"Is she still complaining about that?" Katniss says wide eyed
"Yep" I reply
"Well I'm going to sort out Prim and my Mother and leave you two to do whatever, k" and she turns to walk out of the room almost bumping into her Mum "Come on, you two are making up now" and she drags her Mum away like a naughty child.
"What will we do then?" I say breaking the silence
"Nothing, we do nothing, it will pass eventually but she has never been this bad before so why now?"
"She has seen him again, that's why, if he had never shown up she wouldn't be like this today or last night, will I stay tonight and help you and Ben?"
"No you stay here and look after Katniss we can take care of Mum, you have a family of your own"
"But you are still my family, I'm coming" I say tossing him another can. Next thing a scream fills our ears making us exchange looks, was that Katniss I assume since her image flashes before my eyes "Should we go see what that was all about?" I ask wearily "Or leave Katniss to sort it out"
"What if it was Katniss" with that we race up the stairs to see Katniss in her Mother's room holding Prim in her arms, she is crying and Katniss is raging with her Mother
"Here give her here" I say as Katniss passes her to me, she has a red mark on her face and her Mother is sitting in the corner of the room on the floor, I stand in the door way listening into their argument Prim crying her eyes out on my shoulder as I hold her in my arms, her legs coiled round my waist clinging on to me for dear life.
"How dare you hit her, she has done nothing but spoke the truth so did Peeta they are both right and if you don't like it you can just go, you know where the door is Mum, I can't deal with this anymore, I have enough to worry about now, we are all in danger now Peeta and I have to look after all of you but you just like to make it a tiny bit harder for us by arguing now I know it isn't easy to live with each other all day everyday but we need to get on because I am not kidding any more I am at the end of my tether now, you can either get on with it and understand that this is mine and Peeta's house therefore we can do what we want also that we aren't having an easy time at the moment and Haymich is going through hell so you have it easy so stop complaining will you" and she turns to me, taking Prim then walking out the room and down the stairs me following her after James. Her Mother throws something across the room that shatters "And she can smash the place up all she likes because she is tiding it all up after her strop" she makes me smile sometimes like, the way she talks to her Mother like she is her child.
Katniss and I sit on either side of Prim cuddling her in, we have been like this for ages yet she is still crying, Katniss has been endeavouring to calm her down but has failed miserably so we have decided to just sit and be there with her. "Do you think I should go and see to my Mother, make sure she hasn't killed herself in a rampage of throwing things" I was just about to agree when a vision pops into the forefront of my mind
"I'll go, you'll probably kill her or something" I say giving her the basic outline of my vision.
"I promise I won't"
"No" I stipulate. Moreover I leave Prim's right hand side. Once I get to her room that is to my right as I get up the first flight of stairs. I don't bother knocking since she is consistently exhibiting a deficiency in her manners so why should I show her any. I crouch down in front of her "Nadinear" and I wait for her response. Without realising it am counting down from ten and it takes her until I get to four to look at me and actually make eye contact even if it is only for a brief moment before they flick to the broken vase, shattered into a dozen or so bits of razor sharp chards. "What happened back there, you just kind of flipped!" I say trying to make up some form of introduction; I guess Katniss is wrong; I'm not all that good at knowing what to say, especially to her Mother. I still feel like I need to prove that I am worthy of her daughter but on an honest scale I am not sure, she deserves much better than me.
"Prim was annoying me and so were you and Katniss" well I'm slightly offended, I have done nothing but defend myself and the girl I love. How on earth she came to that conclusion I do not know, because frankly she is the one who has been bugging the hell out of Katniss, and me for that matter. Her frailness is driving me insane, you don't want to say anything to her just in case it sends her back down the same road she did when Joe died. I really don't think Katniss would be able to cope with her Mother, Prim however: you would only have to ask her once and she would have Prim off and her Mother out completely. I have no doubt or objections about that. I think that is what makes her Mother so afraid of her, the fact she would steel her daughter with a moment's notice if she just so much as thought of blanking out and drifting off into planet Nadinear. These thought must have rushed through my head so fast, no noticeable time has passed or is Nadinear already zoning out on us?
"Nadinear you need to get this temper sorted. It will eventually get too much for us and we will have no other choice but to kick you out. I mean you hitting Prim rattled the wrong cage with Katniss, she is so mad and we have had to sit and attempt to calm Prim down and she is still crying her eyes out over it and it has been over two hours. I think you should go and apologise to Prim." I say hoping I have scared her a little into keeping her temper under control because I will tell you know when our baby is born, if she lashes out once at anyone in the house; she will be out of this house quicker that she can say sorry. In fact I will save Katniss the trouble of having to turf her out, I will do it. Katniss is my family and I will stop at nothing to protect her because it is only a matter of time before she blows. She is a ticking time bomb.
Chapter 77 Katniss
As dusk approaches I decide to move off the window seat a and get ready for bed, I cross the room to my en suite and begin to brush my teeth, I need to go and check in on Prim, she cried herself to sleep and Peeta was too busy trying to talk to my Mother to help me carry her up stairs but I obviously won't tell him that because he will in all likely hood give me a long winded lecture on why I should not be carrying her up stairs but to be honest she is just as light as she was when she was a starving, sick, six year old "Hey" Peeta says standing in the door way blocking the resplendent moon lights path making the room go slightly dark where the spot lights don't reach "Prim is fast asleep same with your Mum. Anyways I closed Prim's curtains and then came here. You going to bed yet or doing some of that paper work designs Beete sent us?" he ask looking over his shoulder at the lamp on the desk burning brightly, almost as bright as some of the stars tonight, it is a very clear night tonight but I think unless the wind picks up it will be a bit of a rainstorm tonight or tomorrow morning. I spit out the tooth paste and rinse so I can answer his questions
"No, I'm just going to bed" I push past him kissing him in the process "You coming?" with that he follows me to the bed that we climb into, my prediction was right, the rain has begun to lash off the window. I rest my head on Peeta's chest listening to the all so familiar heart beet, he gently glides his hand onto my bump and leaves it on top, and I find his so I can hold it. His free hand gently strokes my tangled hair. This sensation sends electric volts down my spine, dancing, twirling and jumping its way down to my feet. The warmth he is radiating is transferred to mine also filling the small gap between us.
As three o'clock approaches I drift off into a dreamless sleep, even my baby gives me a break thank god but I am still undecided if that is a good thing or a bad thing, it sometimes worries me so no doubt it panics the hell out of Peeta, god he panics more than me!
Chapter 78
"Come on Katniss, wake up" is the first voice that dances through my ears and rings in my brain but yet although it is a great comfort to hear his voice I am not ready to wake up and see what the day hold's for us. "Come on Prim's is gone" so from dancers to a lightning bolt. My eyes ping open in disbelief as my body clenches
"Gone what do you mean gone?" I ask wide awake like I haven't just woken up
"I mean not in the house and not in the garden gone" you see times like this is when you are grateful you sleep in proper clothes. Within ten minutes we have hunted the whole house for her but she was not there. I stand at the kitchen table, my nails dug into it, thinking of where she could be
"Hey how are you two this morning" my Mother says coming down the stairs clearly healed from the 'episode' yesterday
"Not too good thanks Mum" and Peeta immediately grabs my arm pulling me back as I move intimidatingly towards her
"Don't" he warns me
"What's wrong and where is Prim?"
"You mean the daughter that is missing because you slapped her yesterday, the daughter that Peeta and I had to try calm down after your episode before she wound up having a complete breakdown, is that the one you are talking about because as you can see she is GONE!" I glare at her for a moment as my blood boils "The hill, we will try there" I say turning to Peeta before this argument results in me having my baby then and there.
"We will find her, I promise you" and I step forwards and close my lips round his but swiftly pull away because we have a job to do and yet again it is to clean up my Mother's mess. I take his hand as we rush down to the hill but I instantly know she isn't there.
"You try the hill, I will go have a look at yours, see if James or Ben has seen her" he nods as I hurry back down to his house. I knock on the door. Within minutes someone appears and opens the door – James – with one look he knows something is up
"What's wrong Katniss, come in" he says shifting slightly to the left so I can be in
"Prim's gone and we don't know where, have you seen her?" he shakes his head "Ben?"
"Ben is in his room, but if you give me a minute I will come and help ok" I nod and take him up on his offer of the chair. I sit for about five minutes then the front door opens, I presume it is Peeta since it is his house too but it could be his Mum or Dad, why am I thinking this you ask? I'm trying to keep myself calm. It is like a substitute for panic, when it comes to Prim anyways.
"James, are you there?" a frail voice calls from the porch
"Prim!" I squeal as she comes round from behind the door. I pull her in close for a hug
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you, just Mum" she says in a shaky voice. I squat in front of her so I am level; she still has a red mark on her cheek, clearly where the impact was the strongest
"You didn't hurt me; just scared the living daylights out of me" and I pull her in for a hug "Come on; let's go and find Peeta, he is worried too" she nods and out the corner of my eye I see James standing at the foot of the stairs smiling chirpily
"Are you not mad at me?" I could never be mad at Prim giving the circumstances, she is not used to things like this and by god I will make her pay for hitting my sister/daughter
"No of course not come on, let's leave James in peace" she leads out of the house but I hang back to talk to James, he deserves and explanation as to why I was here this early and why Prim had a black eye and a red cheek "My Mum went on a rampage last night and hit Prim in the process, this morning when we woke up she was gone, we panicked and came out looking for her, sorry for disturbing you" he shakes his head and pulls me in for a hug
"It's fine" and I pull away and leave the house via the front door. Once outside I see Peeta has Prim in his arms; he is on his knees so he is level and she has her head on his shoulder probably crying. I walk over too them
"Come here Prim" I say and I open my arms for her, she turns from Peeta and runs into my arms; she winds her arms round my neck as I kneel before her like Peeta was before. "You will be fine. Me and Peeta will look after you and deal with your Mother ok, I love you" Peeta looks at me and smiles in agreement and clearly picking up on the fact that I am now disowning my Mother. "Let's go home" I say and just as I go to pick her up and carry her back when my hand darts to my stomach where my baby has just kicked me, Peeta picks up on this
"Here I will take her, come on" I nod as he picks her up and then takes me with is left arm. My hand stays on that same spot and he had is hand locked on mine and the other on Prim as we walk back to my house so I can deal with Nadinear "Katniss!" I snap back and look at Peeta who still has Prim in his arms but we are outside on the front step of my house. "Don't go crazy with her please" and he presses slightly on my tummy clearly indicating why I need to take it easy. I open the front door to find my Mother sitting on the sofa "Well we found her just in case you are worried" Peeta lets go of me but keeps a hold of Prim.
"Of course I was worried about her"
"But yet you have not moved from that same spot" I turn to look at Peeta "Will you take Prim up to our room so she doesn't have to listen to this" he nods and leaves to take Prim to our room. Once they are out the way I go and sit beside her taking Peeta's advice/orders/plea. "Why did you flip yesterday and what possessed you to hit her, she is your daughter and she didn't deserve it" I say then wait for her reaction
"I'm sorry" is all she says but that is not good enough
"Why, why did you hit her?" she shakes her head
"I don't know" getting up I look once more at her then swiftly move up the stairs before I completely lose my temper. I swing the door open: Prim is sitting in front of the fire place with her back to the door but resting against the bed, Peeta is sitting on the bed looking blankly at the ceiling
"Peeta" he looks at me and understands that I mean: out of the way of Prim. He follows me onto the landing "Peeta will you please talk to her. She won't answer me honestly she just gives me I dint know, you will handle it better than I will, please?"
"Yeah of course but what will I say?"
"Just find out why she hit her and what we need to do to – do – I guess" that is the nicest way I can put it. He pulls me in for a hug then turns and jogs down the stairs. I turn and head in to the room. Startled, Prim spins round, I wave her over and she comes and joins me on the bed, we lie down on the bed; I stroke her hair soothingly like Peeta does with me when I have a nightmare.
Unbeknown to me I must have drifted off to sleep like Prim because I am awoken by Peeta's lips and I see his sea blue eyes looking into mine. I look at Prim briefly who still is sleeping, then sit up wanting to hear her excuse as to her violence towards my sister yesterday night. "Well what did she say to you?" I can imagine how he handled it, sweetened her up, made her trust him enough to confide in him and then he would probably have asked her what is the matter.
"That she isn't coping well and hasn't been since the second games, she does love you and Prim very much, she is looking forwards to being a grandmother and a Mother – in – law. Katniss I think she just needs time to come to terms with everything that has happened these past few years. It hasn't been easy to see both her children involved in the games together. Katniss she needs you and not to give up on her, just try" really have you seen my sisters face, how on earth am I supposed to just try and act daughtery towards her, I have never done that apart from when I was her daughter not her Mother, I have no choice but to protect Prim because it is instinct.
"So how do I try and make myself love her, try and stop myself from carting her out?" I almost snarl quietly but it isn't Peeta's fault
"You need to forgive her Katniss, forgive her" he says softly and brushes my astray hair off my face, why does he have to be so damn wise one minuet and then the next a lethal killing machine? "Come here" I nod and climb out of the warmth of the covers and rest into his arms as they close around me. "Everything will be ok, I promise you" and he kisses my head as I drift off to sleep again.
Chapter 79 Peeta
As promised I stay at home with my brother but soon drift off to sleep while I should be on guard, making sure my Mother doesn't fall down the stairs but my eyes are just so damn tiered and heavy! I have been on watch for three hours maybe four and so far she hasn't woken up
"Go home Peeta" James says from behind me making me jump "Be with Katniss and get some rest, she is fine"
"No it is fine, I will help you and Ben look after her" I argue
"Dad is in bed with her now so she won't be getting out without him feeling her leave, you are tired and Katniss needs you there" but we both know that Katniss doesn't need me there, she has manages perfectly fine so far without me there so what is with the sudden change?
"You sure?" I ask not wanting it to seem like I am just forgetting about them
"Yes Peeta, we can look after her and plus I would rather you look after my sister in law" I nod as I make my stiff body stand up from the top step
"Thanks James I owe you one" I say then run sleepily down the stairs. Swinging open the front door I am greeted with dawn, a rainy, windy, stormy dawn. The rain pores down as I run across the street to the house that holds my sleeping family. The front door; of course, is unlocked as usual. I walk in and take no hesitation in running upstairs to our room, I don't even go and see if Prim is asleep and ok like I normally do. As I get up to my room the light is still on and the door open a tiny crack. I half expected her to be wide awake but instead she is sleeping peacefully in bed facing the front window that is wide open, the sound of rain pelting off the open window creates a relaxing tune, no wonder she is asleep it makes me tired too.
After I have brushed my teeth I get straight into bed attempting not to wake her but it isn't that easy. She had to sleep in an arena and she is a hunter, she can sense movement even when she sleeps; so when I get under the blanket she wakes with a start then relaxes as she sees me, that's what the games can do to you.
Chapter 80 Katniss
Dawn breaks early and I watch it, I watch the colours dance on the horizon, the orange gradually turns to pink then to yellow. I sit on the window seat while Peeta sleeps in our bed; I wish he was watching this with me but I feel bad waking him because he was at his house until late and I would like to bet it was gone two when he came home. The morning dew sparkles on the outside window ledge as it catches the newly risen suns raise.
After about an hour I make a move and do my teeth and take a quick shower the get changed into my khaki pants and pull on a plain black long sleeved tight t-shirt. I look at my pants and realise these are the ones I wore in the arena and by the looks of it they haven't been washed since, the mud lines the seam at the bottom of both legs. I then sit on the edge of the bed while I pull on my leather boots that Cinna made me along with most of my clothes and shoes. I glance over to the balcony door that lets the light flood in and then meet the casted light from the window on the opposite side of the room that also lets in lots of light. Sighing gently I get up and leave the room and my sleeping fiancé to go to my sisters room but I doubt she will still be asleep. To my surprise she remains fast asleep as I open the door letting a little slit of light creep in that is flooding out from the nursery's open door. Next I go to my Mother's room to see if she still sleeps but she is gone but obviously she isn't daft enough to leave because she knows if she closes that door she is gone for good and I will make no hesitation changing the locks so she can't be in again, on the other hand I need to be civilised with her for Prim's sake; as much as it kills me to say it: she needs her Mother, her real Mother not her sister acting as her Mother, I have only just realised that now though. Finishing the last flight of stairs I spot her on the sofa watching a capitol broadcast about god knows what. "morning" I say sitting on the other sofa that faces the front window
"Morning did you sleep well?" she says playing along with this entire happy families theme that we have going on right now.
"Yep, you?" she nods and smiles "Prim is still asleep and so was Peeta, he got in late last night so I think he will be having a lie in today, we don't have anything planned so I think I will start on some of that paperwork Beete and Wirus drew up for us or Peeta and I" I say making it clear who the 'us' is defined to.
"I might make a cake then get you and Prim to help decorate it then give it to Sue's sister, what do you think?"
"How is her niece?" I ask since I never saw her after my Mother got her hands on her that day
"She died Katniss, Sue said she was going to tell you that morning, she died in the early hours a few nights back now" and she looks sorrowful "I'm sorry Katniss; Prim figured it was pneumonia that had killed her than anything else"
"Is Jessica ok?" I ask worried about Sue's sister, she has lost her husband and her daughter to pneumonia but I know just as well as anyone that pneumonia is not a nice way to die for a child or for a parent to watch, not like there is one.
"Morning, I'm going to work today so I will be back around eight ish tonight ok" Peeta says leaving the bottom step, I pull my shocked face away from my Mother gaze to look at him as he comes and kisses me "Love you" he says cheerfully
"Love you too" I reply but my voice must register that I am in some way traumatised or shocked. He leaves anyways; completely oblivious to the news and I would like to keep it that way for as long as possible, until Sue and Jessica get their heads together. Perhaps that is why she hasn't told me, she want time and space to be with her one remaining family member.
I look at the clock it reads twelve thirty in the afternoon, the seam will be busy people going about their business. So far I have sat on the sofa with Prim in my arms. Occasionally she drifts off to sleep then wakes with a jerk. Peeta has been out at work all day but should be back at any minute for his dinner, there is a knock at the door, and no doubt this is him now. Prim sits bolt upright "Don't worry I will go" I say as I sit up then stand; I walk to the door and twist the door knob.
Chapter 81
Cinna's death comes back to me, peacekeepers flood in covering every corner of the room and blocking the door. Two keepers grab my sister and drags her off the sofa; I start for the men but two more grab my arms but obviously I am not letting them get away with hurting my little sister that easily. At the finish it takes four peacekeepers to restrain me. As more flood in and make their way upstairs and five minutes later they drag my Mother down stairs and she stands in the living room looking just as confused as the rest of us. after about ten minutes of searching they let go of my family but not me. I am dragged out of the house where I see that Haymich is also restrained at the bottom of my garden path. I am still trying to fight my way free when he shakes his head telling me to stop, I follow his instructions and stop, I am just hurting myself and there for I could be hurting my baby in the process and still not getting any were. We are escorted into the square, me in front and Haymich behind, we are both being closely guarded by the armed keepers. I turn around for a quick glance back at my house, keepers are blocking my front door that is when I realise that Peeta doesn't know anything, what if he is being hurt by them or is already at the podium awaiting my arrival to be shot, presuming that is what they plan to do with me and my mentor who is unusually sober. Anyways we march into the square when I see Sue, she makes a start for us but I shake my head wildly, she clearly understands and mouths 'Peeta?' I nod and she dashes back to the village to get him.
Chapter 82 Sue
I burst into the bakery and look around wildly for Peeta and spot him behind the counter before me "PEETA!" I shriek. He looks up shocked "IT'S KATNISS, SHE'S BEEN TAKEN BY PEACEKEEPERS - HER AND HAYMICH AND THEY ARE HEADING TO THE STATION NOW" I say not realising that I am still shouting at the top of my voice. His brothers look up and jump into action as Peeta makes his way round the counter towards me, they grab him but he is a good fighter and they have a hard time holding on to him.
"Let go James" he cries out
"What are you going to do huu? You are seventeen and have no chance against them; they are armed and have protection!"
"well you and Ben come then, then I have some protection, James I can just leave her, I love her!" he shrieks
"Yes, I will help" I add in as both brothers nod and follow him out the door and down the street. We all run as fast as our legs can carry us but we don't come across them.
Crowds have gathered around the station entrance and it is so densely populated you can't see them but it is clear that she is there before them, I just hope for Peeta's sake she is still there. People begin to look and register his face as he pushes his way through the partening crowd. "Katniss!" he shrills as she just becomes visible. We see that she is fighting with all her strength and Haymich is doing the same, Peeta's queue to join in with the fight, he fights the keepers that are attempting to hold the perimeter of the little semi-circle the two have been backed in. The train doors are open and the carriage looks like something you would put cattle in or in this case two very powerful rebels/victors/killing machines.
Chapter 83 Katniss
Peeta breaks through the crowd and begins punching the keepers that have enclosed me in a semi-circle. I have long since been chained to the handle of the metallic train so I have no other option but to watch my fiancé fight his way trying to get to me, James, Ben and Sue all are trying to help me and are failing, there just seems to be an endless supply of them. I look to my right to see Haymich in a heap on the concrete floor; this whole thing has Cinna's death written all over it: the blood on the concrete floor the peacekeepers and me, completely helpless. They bundle Haymich into the train carriage, he wasn't as sober at I though. James and Ben each grab two siding peacekeepers creating a path for Peeta to get through, he just gets through it before more fill the place that was creating a weak spot in the formation, he runs to me and starts hammering on the chain with his hands trying to break the metal chinks but isn't having any luck "Peeta, stop" I screech noticing the blood that is beginning to pour out of his shredding hand's flesh
"You don't have time Peeta mate" James says and glances down at his brother who has just taken a blow to the head. With Ben unconscious and Sue having the fighting skills of a chimp, Peeta doesn't have time to cut this thing with his hands.
"I'm not leaving her" he says his eyes set on the spot he is repeatedly whacking. Two keepers pick up on his efforts and act; they begin making their way through the raging crowds, dodging the body of my unconscious rebels in the process
"Peeta now!" James shouts alarmed by the fast approaching guards. He turns his attention to me then to the keepers James has to try and take out by himself. Peeta turns to me and grabs my neck and closes his lips around mine. Next thing I know he is being pulled away from me
"I love you!" he shouts as he is consumed behind the crowds of people. They also drag away Ben who is beginning to come around
"We're going right, we're going" James shouts before the head takes them into custody. Peeta remains at the forefront of the crowd as I am literally flung into the carriage along with my sleeping mentor. He sees how I have just been handled and begins raging all again
"PEETA NO DON'T" I shout getting his attention 'love you' I manage to mouth before the door is slid shut leaving me in the windowless metal shoebox with poor company of Haymich Abernathy
Chapter 84 Peeta
We make our way back to the house in the village to fill Nadinear and Prim in on Katniss's abduction. "Peeta!" I turn I astonishment to see that the old mayor of twelve in an old capitol provided/stolen car. "get in" he shouts. I shake my head in response, I need to tell Nadinear and Prim first, and then I can begin to create a rescue plan
"Give us a minute Ed" James says as I enter the house I shouldn't have left this morning, which I should have been in when she was taken so I could have had a better chance at saving her then and there but no, I was too busy messing around at the bakery, what an idiot I was to go!
"What's happening" Nadinear says jumping up at our presence, Prim mimicking that movement perfectly
"They have her" I say and pull Prim in as she wraps her arms around my back sobbing, Nadinear comes and joins in the hug and for a minute I am holding them all strong for a while but the realisation is that she is gone and we need to get her back not imagine she is just going to walk through the door by herself, she is strong but not that strong, she isn't capable of that by herself as much as she would love for it to be true and by god I wish it was! I pull myself together; she isn't here to take control so I have to. "Right we are going to thirteen to tell Indi and get a ship ready for the rescue mission, you two say here and together ok" I kiss Prim on the top of her head "we will get her back, I promise" and I god damn hope that is true.
"Come on then" James says. I let go of Prim and her Mum and head out the door to the waiting car. I sit in the front seat and James joins Ben in the back, Ben is still seeing double from the blow he took to the head. Prim comes running out the front door just as we are getting ready to drive off and jumps in the middle of my brothers in the back
"I want to help, can't let you lot kick butt and me not be involved!" she says and gets a smile of James and some sort of slurred reply off Ben; my mind is on Katniss who is probably half way to the capitol by now accompanied by Haymich – not exactly a vote of confidence – I don't know who I am more worried about her being with: Syco Snow or a drunk Haymich who has a knife while she is chained up, until he is sober probably Haymich.
After an hour we are just crossing the threshold of thirteen but this journey has taken longer than the mayor had anticipated, you can tell by the way he keeps checking his watch as he drives.
Chapter 85 Katniss
"Haymich?" now I think I am hearing things, his name has just been called but there is no one else around "Come in Haymich!" I recognise that voice – Indi – I crawl over to his unconscious body to find the source of her voice
"Indi?" I whisper, afraid someone might hear me
"Katniss thank god you are ok, Haymich is useless, we fitted a camera to the collar of his shirt that he is wearing but he is lying on it so we can just hear you and vice versa at the moment" I smile, I comforts me to hear a familiar voice.
"Where am I now?" I ask, no doubt she will know
"Just going under the mountain now darling, almost there"
"And Peeta?" I ask but secretly I am afraid to know the answer
"We don't know" she says but I have no reply, he is either being hung along with his bothers, shot, in custody or at home, the last seems unlikely even though I hope it is true "We will get you two back I promise, keep the faith, lots of people love you and look up to you" I slide away from Haymich and rest my back against the cold, large, rectangular wall. I know now we are in the capitol this is what I like to call an opportune moment.
Chapter 86 Indi
Peeta, James, Ben and Ed burst through the door to communications "Indi they took her, not just Haymich Katniss too" Peeta say sounding a little hysterical and panic-stricken.
"I know, we have been talking to her just now" he looks at Fennic and then at Gemma who has joined us, Wirus is also here but Beete is in the capitol, this layout will now become very useful to us.
"No Indi she is gone – G.O.N.E – off to the capitol" Ben says looking a little disorientated
"Remember that meeting when we put the camera and the speaker and microphone on Haymich so we knew where he was, the same applies to Katniss"
"You mean you knew they were going to take her!" Peeta accuses but he is clearly not understanding were I am coming from
"No we knew there was a plot to take Haymich, it was just when I said his name and she replied that I found out they had her as well"
"so I can see her and talk to her"
"No, not yet, they are literally due to get off the train now, we can't risk giving us away like that or any means to rescue will be destroyed" he nods as we all take a seat along the table that faces a big screen.
A short while after light floods the screen. Peeta sits forwards on his chair and carefully places his elbows on the metal table. We hear a groan, obviously Haymich being dragged off the train and then we see her, she is handcuffed and being escorted by about six peacekeeper all of which have a hold of her, clearly she kicked up a fuss when they took her. She kicks her legs and attempts struggling free but has no luck. I look to my right to see Peeta has a slight smile on his face at how much trouble she is causing. We see the doors the palace close. Behind the doors I see that Snow's eldest Granddaughter Molly who is sixteen stands and watches as they bring in a mortally drunk/unconscious Haymich in and a kicking and screaming pregnant seventeen year old in. we really aren't selling this whole become a rebel thing are we. Molly is ok, she has a nice heart unlike her grandfather, her little sister is nice too, Ella, she is sweet and both have lost someone dear to them because of him. Ella is favoured by him, he makes that obvious. Suddenly Katniss stops kicking and screaming creating a deadly silence and darkness appears on our screen. "Wirus what's happening?" I ask him knowing he will have the answer
"They have taken his coat and Katniss is in a different room" he say, Peeta relaxes at the knowledge along with the rest of us. I turn to look behind me at Wirus's desk and see he has a Birdseye view of the mansion with a number one in a circle then a partition then a three in the other, much like the games makers trackers
"Wirus?" I ask in need of an explanation
"They all have one" he says but doesn't turn around to meet my gaze
"Did you know that they would be taken?"
"No, it was a precaution, think about this logically, they have Haymich for info they will want them for power"
"No but now they have the info and my fiancé and child" Peeta snarls but his eyes are fixed on the screen before him even though there is nothing on it but a deep blackness.
"She will be fine" I say putting my arm around his rigid body
"She better be" he whispers so quietly I wonder if I was supposed to hear it.
"They are going down the stairs now to the cells" we have lost many rebels to the cells but the proper name is torcher cells, this info is something we are going to refrain from telling Peeta at the moment, that is the last thing he want to know, that his girlfriend is off to be tortured. "They are there" he announces shortly after his previous.
Chapter 87 Katniss
When we are marched into the room I see six of my rebels are in here: some are tied to the walls, their body's hanging limply, and others are chained to the floor unable to move. They all look at me kicking and fighting without the use of my arms, what sort of a leader am I, rebels are being killed and fighting to save me but I let myself get captured, I am a failure as a leader now and have let down all those who have lost their lives trying to prevent this from happening. Now I am being pushed with force to the floor as they chain my hands to the floor, I am seven months pregnant and having to sit on the cold concrete floor with my hands behind my back uncomfortably. Haymich is sitting next to me with his hands chained to the floor; they took his coat that had the camera in so now Indi can't see us but she can hear us and talk to us, at least. "Be careful with him" I snarl at a peacekeeper that had just dragged in a bloody rebel that is coated in blood. I am now aware of my surroundings, these people are being torched for information and hopefully that will all stop now they have me, I won't tell, they can torcher me all they like as long as they don't touch my little baby. They string him up on the wall in mid-air by his hands as the blood off his wounds drip onto the floor "He will bleed to death you idiot, wake up" I snarl as he leaves the room. Once more I attempt to struggle out the bonds
"I – I – I diddddnt tell them" he stutters "I'm sorry k atni ss" he barely gets out over the shaking he is doing.
"It fine, you will be fine, I promise you because we will get you out along with all the rest of you. I tell you what I will even get you a nice room in the infirmary with anything you like, my sister will look after you and so will I, you just rest at the minute" I say but Haymich and I exchange glances, there is no way this man will make it through the night. He is losing too much blood too fast from his various injuries. "What did they do to him Haymich?" I whisper horrified
"You don't want to know" he say "Get some rest Katniss, you're going to need it, I will keep watch I promise" he smiles as I rest against the wall; arms still behind me and Ha3ymich and Peeta out of my reach.
Chapter 88 Indi
We stayed in communications all through the night, everyone drifted off to sleep occasionally all except Peeta and me; we stayed awake all night and all morning. I am beginning to worry because we can't track them down there and without a camera it will make the rescue mission much harder and riskier. We know that the man Katniss was looking after died through the night but then again we all knew he would die. "Get some rest Peeta" I say looking at him but his eyes never leave the screen and his hands from his face, he has been like that for well over eleven hour and he must be as stiff as anything. Prim, his brothers and I have long since given up on trying to get him to eat; he just won't budge "It has been a day, they would have done something by now if they wanted to" I try reassuring him, It has really been a day since she was kidnapped, this their second day in there and more and more rebels strung up have died of infections, pneumonia or starvation. We need to get to her and fast; we all know that even Peeta that is why he is so nervous, she is staring in the face of death. If we get to her we can have her kill him then and there, get it over with, that is of course presuming she has the strength to stand upright. I'm sure she has a separate store of 'in case I get to kill Snow' energy so if she is exhausted she can just refuel and shoot his little cold heart.
"I think I will go check on Prim" James says stretching as he stands "Peeta come on mate, Prim would rather you tell her than me"
"Leave him James, I will stay with him, he isn't going to listen to any of us" I say looking at his still and concerned face that remains fixated on the screen.
Chapter 89 James
"How is she?" Prim says as I walk in the door to Peeta and Katniss's compartment.
"The same, she is being strong though"
"And what about the rebels"
"Most of them died through the night" she nods as I sit next to her "Prim will you come and talk to him, I'm sorry to put it on you but I think he will listen to you, please?" I feel really bad for asking this of her but if it straightens him out then so be it.
"What do I say?" she ask cuddling in to me.
"Prim, just being there will probably work, then he might realise that he needs to do something and stop feeling sorry for himself" I smile and wrap my arms tightly around her "How about I get you some of those chocolate muffins ehh?" I say trying to cheer her up but I am careful not to overstep the boundary and just sounding like move on she's gone.
"Yeah, James do you think she will be ok?" this was the question we were all hoping to avoid because none of us know if she will be ok
"She will be strong like usual for us all especially you" I say hoping I have cleverly avoided the question.
"But do you think she will come home. I don't know why she was taken or where she is just what I have overheard, will she die James?" it is time to be honest.
"She was taken by peacekeepers under the commands of Snow, it was just supposed to be Haymich but instead they took both of them, they have killed off most of the rebels in the cells but they are leaving them two, we don't know what they have planned for them, that is what Beete and Wirus are trying to figure out. I don't know what will happen and I'm not going to say they will both be fine because I don't know" she nods as a tear rolls down her cheek.
"Thank you James" and she falls back into my arms "Now I really do need to go and see Peeta" she gets up and leaves the room and disappears into the corridor. I get up to follow when I see a small photo on the desk. It is probably something Effie gave them because we don't have the technology to take photos; she does. It is a photo of Katniss and Peeta on top of a roof surrounded by plants and stars. Katniss is leaning into him and they are laughing, it must have been on the victory tour or something because it is the capitol that is very clear. "So bloody unfair" I say out loud to myself. "They would take her" I leave the compartment with the photo firmly in my grasp and dash up eighty one floors to security/ground level on level one.
Chapter 90 Katniss
"Haymich!" is all I can manage but thank god he seems to understand. He gets up and walks to the metallic door calmly then flips, he starts braying on the door until the sound of keys chime against it, luckily they unchained us about half an hour ago, a gift of Snow as the guard put it
"She is having her baby!" he shrills angrily at the peacekeeper who is standing guard at the door
"What, can't she wait?" the keeper ask and now I flip on the spot where I sit
"If I could wait and choose where I have my baby here would not be where I have it you idiot" I shriek
"I will go get some help" and he disappears leaving the door open, our opportunity to get out.
"Haymich door" I say
"No we are staying, you and that baby is what matters now" is that the baby that is now two months early. Haymich comes and sits next to me and makes me look at him "You will be fine"
"Peeta though" I say realising he will miss the birth of his child
"Forget him Katniss, I'm being serious" I nod but I am beginning to panic. That is when he takes my hand trying to fill Peeta's place but I know that he isn't him.
"Katniss what is going on?" Indi says over the speaker
"I'm kind of in labour; is Peeta ok?" and Haymich exasperates as if to say I give up but his hand doesn't release mine.
"Yeah he is fine ish" but the ish part is what worries me the most
"What do you mean ish?" I say but no sooner do I say it my sight is filled with red and everything on my whole body explodes with pain
"Katniss-" Haymich trails off as my capitol bloody provided 'help' arrives with a frantic looking guard. The keeper closes the door as the doctor rushes to my side with blankets and some sort of liquid that I hope is water that I can drink to get rid of this fuckin' dry throat, he gestures for me to drink it so I do, my throat is soothed for a few seconds by the cold water that slides through me and into my stomach, I can trace its path easily, I look down at the half drank bottle and pass it to Haymich who hasn't drank in days either "You need it more than me sweetheart" he say like he used to call me in the games but now there is a hint of knowing in his voice like he knows what is coming for me on the other hand I didn't think of this when I agreed to having a child with Peeta that night. I am overwhelmed with something the doctor called contractions for ten bloody minutes then the door swings open and a familiar looking gard rushes in and grabs Haymich dragging him along the wall I rest on and chains his hands to the floor "Give us a break, she is in labour can't you just let us be" Haymich shrills and I think a tear rolls down his cheek as if he is the one thriving in pain instead of me. The gard turns and in one quick, swift motion he is facing Haymich again
"I'm just following orders"
He killed Cinna and I tried to kill him.
If I wasn't in this current state I would start demanding he let Haymich go and kick his butt yet again for following that goons order. The peacekeeper turns in yet another gliding motion and marches out the room as my narrow eyes follow his silhouette out the dim room. The doctor places his blankets over my legs that he has positioned and he slides my khaki pants down. Something falls out the left pocket onto the concrete floor, my shaking hand reach for it and they grasp the label attached to it. It reads: for your baby to help me keep it safe from where ever I wind up, I'm still betting on you Katniss - my girl on fire. My hand slides down the length of octagon shaped flat gems joined by metal loops and at the bottom a diamond, black and shaped like a heart with a point that stands out making it three dimensional, it has a metal shell around one side. It is beautiful but I don't know how Cinna got it there, my hand clench into fists and I grit my teeth, Haymich picks up on this "I'm still here ok" I nod but my eyes remain shut
"Yeah Katniss you will be fine and we are all here for you" Indi says over the speaker
Chapter 91 James
I am just asking permission to go to one when Sealena comes rushing to my side "What are you doing James?" she asks franticly
"I'm going to one"
"NO you aren't Katniss is in labour and Peeta is like traumatised worse that before!" I slap my hand on my face as the other holds onto the photo that Sealena is working from my grasp
"Come on she needs you James, Peeta isn't there and Haymich is on the other side of the room in chains, let's face it she is on he own now, she needs you" with that I take lead down the stairs to eighty two and burst in slamming the photo down in front of my brother
"Pull it together mate, this is half you're doing, she is scared and frankly alone so you need to be there for her" he doesn't look up but he leans to his left so he is resting on me, I place my hand on his other shoulder
"I'm scared" he admits but then again we already knew that
Chapter 92 Katniss
This has been going on for half an hour and those contractions or whatever the hell you call them are getting worse and far more frequent yet my mind is on Peeta and James, even though that sounds weird that I am thinking of my fiancés brother it is because I wonder if he is looking after Peeta and Prim since Peeta is clearly not on this planet right now.
"Can we trust you?" Haymich says out of the blue to the doctor who look startled by the sudden urge of convosation
"What with?" he replies sounding genuinely puzzled
"Will you let Peeta at least hear her giving birth?" and he points to his ear
"Of course you can" but the puzzlement in his voice surfaces
"Indi" Haymich says and to someone who had just walked into the room you would think he was talking to himself. I am however unsure whether we should trust this man with the secret that allows me to talk to Peeta, Haymich clearly does.
"Haymich we are working on a way to get to you, she just needs to hang on for a little while longer, and we don't have a pilot who can make it there under fire"
"RICHARD" I say in a horsed gasp "He can get here and back, he's the best"
"There is no time for that now Katniss this baby is coming and fast, push" I close my eyes and hold my breath as I strain hard and it feels like every muscle in my stomach and abdomen rips under the strain, I clamp down on my tongue because I can't scream because Snow will hear and be down in a flash and also I worry if I scream I will never stop. I begin to lose my breath and I break the push but my eyes remain shut "That was great just try and make them all like that" I look up at his last comment
"You mean there is more" I say and he nods and chuckles a little at my reaction
"Peeta It's your turn, I can be bothered" I say trying to cheer myself up a bit and amusing most the others in the room too – the sniggers in the background gives it away – but no one mentions the fact that it is two months early. I close my eyes as my body strains again
"You seem to know what you are doing Katniss, you should be a doctor" this puzzles me but I am overcome by immense pain, this is nothing like the last contraction
"I'm not doing anything" I say but it sounds a little like a growl
"You are pushing and it is very good" he says, I didn't even make myself push and yet I am doing it – what the hell – my body has a mind of its own I swear "Keep going Katniss you are doing great"
"So all those days you spent showing off to Peeta in the gym paid off ehh" James says as a squeal escapes through my grinding teeth that are clamped together but I keep pushing with all my strength and believe me it is like this baby is chained to me or something it ain't budging but every piece of flesh and tissue inside of me rips and tears, tears burn my eyes and I clench my fists so tight I think my stubby figure nails will cut straight through my hand and the charm Cinna gave me will be swallowed up by the gash created.
"Am I nearly finished?" I ask when I simply can't push anymore but frankly it comes out more as a plead than a query
"No were near but you're doing great" I roll my eyes and look at Haymich, I really wish he was next to me so I could break his hand instead of mine, I have enough scars as it is. Then there is Peeta who is all safe and unhurting, unlike me.
"When we get out of here you better buy me lots of beer and make me breakfast and a massage" he jokes
"I think I will be the one getting luxury's after this mate there is a queue" I say and he sniggers then coughs "You better not die on me" I say sounding a little serious
"Yeah Haymich you have your massage off Indi to look forward to" James says then cry's with laughter
"You give him a massage you're related to her" this convosation is purely to keep me cheerful that is obvious due to the randomness of the subject and how they are dragging it on
"How does that have anything to do with it?" this little argument with James and Indi is quite amusing and even the doctor has some enjoyment but soon focuses on delivering my child. He nods and that means I need to push, I obey but this is worse than any of the other ones, it gets so bad a short piercing scream of pain leaves my mouth briefly but I clamp down on my now swollen tongue that is if I have one left after this. I keep pushing for as long as I can on one breath
"I thought it would be easier with it being two months too early but NOOOOO" I strain as I take another breath to continue with this push
"And I thought I was in pain" Haymich says as I roll my eyes to look at him but I see the horrifying sight of three of him, this sends shivers down my spine just imagining a world with multiple Haymich's, that my friends is worse than the games themselves.
"Really" I snarl in a humorous tone then I remember that he hasn't had a drink of alcohol in two days and must be in pain from withdrawal and hopefully he will stay T total when we get out of here which we will.
Chapter 93 Peeta
The thoughts my brain is fighting right now are terrifying and frankly I can't see a way to escape them, she is in the capitol, she is giving birth, the baby has only been in there for seven month and I am here. I want to go and kill people but I can't stand up, I want to eat but I feel sick, I want to hold her but she is out of reach. I am losing everything, I have no words to say to Prim because how do you explain this to her when I don't know how to explain it to myself. I am confused and petrified. When I first heard Haymich say she is having her baby I thought to myself I need to pull myself together but all I could manage was to hold back my tears but even that was a struggle, the photo James set in front of me stares at me, does he know that that was taken the day we made this baby, just a few hours before even? Is that why he brought it down to torment me or something? I look longingly at her beautiful, radiant face as it beams with laughter. I then look back up at the screen as Haymich talks to her, I don't hear what he says or what she replies, I'm drowning in shock and devastation, love even makes an appearance in the forefront of my mind.
Chapter 94 Katniss
Another half an hour and I'm still pushing, this whole thing has been going on for two hours, James keeps saying I am doing great and the doctor agrees. The doctor offers me some kind of alcohol but I refused it because all that will happen is that I will be sick so I roll it to Haymich who welcomes it without a second thought, then remembers he doesn't have the use of his hands so I guess staying T total is out of the question after his haste to drink it. "Katniss!" I drag me eyes off Haymich to look at the doctor but all I see is a blurred version of him and the other duplicated one "I can see the head, your nearly finished" I smile a little and roll my head back in Haymich's direction
"Well done sweetheart" I smile a little more, this wasn't as bad as I imagined, it was worse. At least I haven't screamed and let the whole of this god damn mansion know I am giving birth
"Finally" I say and I'm sure I giggle along with James and Haymich even the doctor smiles
"Come on Katniss" the doctor says
"What is your name?" I mean to ask politely but it comes out as more of a snarl than anything else
"Doctor Abercrombie, what is your name?" I do giggle at this; he already knows I'm Katniss Everdean
"Katniss Malark, I'm pleased to meet you" I smile and stick out my shaking hand and shake his
"Malark huu" he says and presses his lips together
"Almost anyways, but close enough for me" I reply then close my eyes as I prepare myself because I know this will be the worst part of it all so mental preparation is needed.
"Katniss now" I push with all I have, I cry silently until my eyes are like a waterfall and my breath burns in my lungs I clench my fists together. The charm digs in to the palm of my hand and the note is scrupled in my right hand. The tears drip off my chin and onto my top in an continues flow. I shout for Peeta but instead I get James
"Katniss just keep going the way you are and don't worry about Peeta he is next to me now but his figure nails are going to go through the table in a minute if he isn't careful" I smile a tiny little bit at this
"Peeta you listen to me, you better have lots of pillows stuffed up your top when I get back because I am going to kill you when I get home, you're alright aren't you and also never mind the muffins for Prim because I want an endless bloody supply after this, I love you" I kind of missed out a few sentences and most of it didn't make sense but for some reason I think he will understand
Chapter 95 James
"I love you too" and everyone turns to look at Peeta in shock/astonishment, he actually spoke!
"Finally like" Prim says and she sits on his knee, he wraps is arms around her tiny waist as he looks at the blank screen
"Katniss you are nearly done just keep pushing" the doctor thingy says
"You're nearly a Dad" Indi beams just stating the obvious to Peeta
"Is it here yet?" she whales
"You will know, it will cry"
"I would too, being born into this world, It's got me for a Mother, Snow for a president and Haymich for a grandfather, wouldn't you cry too" Peeta actually smiles behind Prim's head at Katniss's 'I don't care who I offend' attitude
"One more big push and we will have the head Katniss!" and we all sit forward in our seat and Peeta slips back into shock
Chapter 96 Katniss
I push harder than I have on the rest. The doctor praises me and keeps telling me to keep going, so does Haymich who is just as much a wreck as I am some how. "So what do you think Peeta, Charlotte if it is a girl?"
"Katniss that is a beautiful name and if it is a boy?" Prim say but I need Peeta to answer me, this is his son or daughter and we need to name him or her
"Peeta do you like the name Charlotte?"
"Yeah Katniss that is a lovely name" I can just about hear Peeta's clearly frail voice
"Katniss can I ask: if it is a boy can be called Joe after Daddy?"
"Well that's up to Peeta, I have chosen the girls name so he has to-" my sentence is interrupted by my pain; I throw my head back and clamp down on my tongue once again. That is when I feel it, my baby sliding out if me with the help of doctor Abercrombie.
"You have your baby Charlotte Katniss, congratulations" we all stay silent waiting for the cry but all we get is silence.
Chapter 97 James
"Congratulations Peeta you're a Dad" I say but I can't believe that my baby brother is a Dad. I can remember him being born like it was yesterday. We all celebrate but Peeta and Prim remain in their seats.
"SHUT UP!" Prim shouts "It isn't crying." We all exchange glances of horror at the new development.
"No, no, no, do something please!" Katniss sounds hysterical at the whole ordeal and I don't blame her. Peeta however covers his face with his hands as Prim comforts him, or at least attempts to.
Charlotte is dead?
Chapter 98 Katniss
She is tiny, so small yet Abercrombie has to breathe for her and try to get her heart started again. I look down at her little hands and feet, just my daughter in general is tiny, that is the only word you can use to describe her but how can something so damn small make such a huge bump I wonder. The next thing I know is my hands are being tied behind my back like Haymich and the guard is trying to take Charlotte off the doctor. "NO, she is dead and I have to try and revive her before it is too late you idiot." The guard nods and the words surge through me like poison. The child I have just given birth to is dead. I am too busy comprehending I didn't realise that Abercrombie has started talking again "Now unchain her or she will die too, I need to check her over and she needs to lie down before she has a heart attack." The man looks at Abercrombie. "Do it now" and the man jumps to it and unties me. I waste no time in rushing back over to my daughter to see her again. He keeps trying franticly and then we hear it, the minute strangled cry that comes from her little mouth. He exhales like Haymich and I and Abercrombie bundles her in blankets and fishes around in his bag and pulls out a small white teddy with pink eyes nose and mouth, all stitched on. "A present from my wife, she made a blue one too just in case." He tucks in under one of the folds close to her then shows me the inside of the coat he is wearing. There pined on to his jumper is a mockingjay pin like mine. He then passes her to me. She is unbelievably light and delicate. She has her dad's eyes, my fiancés eyes, and long eyelashes; her nose is tiny and so are her shrivelled lips. I trace my finger to her ears that really are small too. Just Charlotte in general is small and agile. I hold my daughter in my hands soaking up every last inch of her beauty, more than I can hold, she is mine and Peeta's but she defiantly looks like Peeta. Her big blue eyes that keep opening then closing even her little nose looks like his. The fluff on top of her head is blond too but with some streaks of brown like me. I shuffle with my little bundle over to Haymich to have a look "Beautiful, Katniss, she is truly beautiful." I beam with pride and I can't wait for Peeta to meet her, Prim, James, Ben and all her grandparents and the rebels. I'm going to show her off to the world.
She has been born about ten minutes and doctor Abercrombie is still here, the door is locked. I rest against Haymich who is still chained to the floor, we sit admiring her. She has been born ten minutes and already she is having an influence on him. He refused a bottle of rum off Abercrombie and said he is going to change- we will see how long he can last. The door swings open and Molly walks in with an army of peacekeepers. They all separate, taking corners of the room and the door. One ties the doctor to the wall in an upright position. I realise what they are doing and clutch onto Charlotte as tightly as I dare. Molly comes over and stands in front of me looking down on us. "Cute baby" she says and smiles. "I tried Katniss, I got you ten minutes." I break her gaze and look down at her as a tear escapes my eye and drips onto the blanket she is swathed in. "I love you Charlotte" and then I decide to sing to her
"Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Laydown your head and close your eyes
And when you wake
I'll be right by you."
But I'm not going down that easily. I stand up and place her on Haymich's lap. Then I punch as many peace keepers that are coming close to her. Next thing I know I am chained to the floor kicking and screaming when Ella comes in and reaches for Charlotte. She gets a blow in the face as Haymich kicks her full force. She still grabs her roughly and then I realise, it isn't me they want, it is her. "YOU BITCH, YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH" I scream as I kick and scream pulling at the bonds behind my back and the tears burn at my face. "You bitch" that is all I can manage to say as Ella walks out the room with my daughter but Molly remains.
"I'm sorry" and a tear rolls down her cheek. "I tried Katniss I really did." I look up at her and my eyes follow her as she squats in front of me. "I will take care of her I promise."
"Why would your promises mean anything to me, you were here and you let her take my baby. Peeta hasn't even met her" I snarl at her through the tears.
"It was either that or she was shot here and now, I got you this chance. I want to help you, I want to be a rebel and kill him as much as you do, and please Katniss let me help you." I'm not saying anything.
"Indi?" I wait for a response and Molly looks confused and a bit like: is she talking to herself? The silence stretches out for about five minutes and becomes very awkward.
"We can trust her, I do. Beete overheard her plea, its genuine." I look at her face that I have made a point of avoiding through mine and Indi's conversation.
"I will look after her, I promise and I will try and get Ella to do the same." I nod then begin trying to struggle my way free once again and I can feel my skin splitting but the cuff dosent budge.
"Katniss stop, Katniss, Katniss" Haymich says gently until my teary eyes look at him, he is also crying. "We will get her back, we will." Molly agrees, disappears, then comes back with a brass key and unlocks my arms.
"This unlocks the rest of them too, I will go and find her now ok." slowly I stand and look at her.
"Thank you" I say in a shaky voice. Before I can object she wraps her arms around me as she starts sobbing. I turn my head to look at Haymich, my jaw wide open, she is crying! Haymich laughs a little as I pat her on the back but she takes it as a comfort when I was intending for it to be a hint to let go of my aching body.
Eventually Molly lets go and runs out of our cell and closes the door after her but doesn't lock it. I go and unlock Haymich's hands and he doesn't hesitate on pulling me in for a hug then pushes me back so he can see my wrists that are bleeding from my efforts to escape. My throat is sore and so is most of my body. I walk, with great difficultly to doctor Abercrombie and stand on the ledge where his feet rest and stretch up so I can unchain him from the wall. He grabs my arms and examines my wrists briefly before I pull them away and sit next to Haymich. Before I know what I am doing I am formulating a plan to get her and get out. After about half an hour I have it, when I look at the two faces that are staring at me "Well?" Haymich says and I realise I shouted out that I have it.
"Right, what we do is get Richard to fly here with rebels for cover and I want Peeta there too. Then we follow Molly to the armoury and get weapons. Then up to kill Snow and then we can find Charlotte. Then get out of there and blow it all up to kingdom come. Then we need to get back to thirteen and get all the rebels in one back, just round them all up at thirteen." That is where my plan ends; I haven't got any further than that.
"One problem Katniss, we have to do all of this through the night. We can't risk it, coming to you would mean risking being shot down even at night. It is too dangerous and there is Ella. We can't risk taking Molly without Ella finding out."
"We kill her too." I don't care who I kill. This is my family in danger.
"Katniss just hang on. We have rebels in the capitol so they can do the job that the transported rebels would be doing. We can try and get some form of transport to you for the escape; Peeta will be on that like you asked." I think it was Sealena that said that, this also sounds like a good plan, I'm spoilt for choice.
"So I still get to kill Snow and Peeta will be on that transport?"
"Hold on here, have you seen the state Peeta is in? He is in some sort of trance and he can't pull this off right now" James says sounding worried.
"I can give him something for that, he will be fine" Prim chimes in.
"Katniss just hang fire on the killing part, we still need him."
"Excuse me" I snarl in astonishment.
"He is still valuable to us" am I hearing this right?
"He has Peeta and my daughter. He is getting killed for definite now! Sealena, where is Indi?"
"Looking for Peeta." Haymich and I exchange glances, where the hell has he gone?
"Katniss concentrate. We will worry about Peeta later, now we have to find that little girl of yours." I nod and smile. Molly comes back in with a tray, filled with food and the white teddy Abercrombie gave her.
"I thought you would like it, it smells like her. Right I have to be quick, I have her in my room but guards are on the door or I would try getting her down to you. I can't get her out and no one can get in, even with weapons, sorry Katniss. Look closely at the napkins; they will help, two days ok." Right, most of that didn't make sense but we thank her and I snatch up the napkin and there drawn on it is a layout of the palace and where the guards are and the change-over times. I pass it to Haymich to look at as I follow them in eating the various foods on the wooden tray.
"Katniss, it's Wirus. I don't mean to alarm you but Beete has just overheard that they are sending highly skilled torturers down there. Katniss they are coming to kill you two tomorrow night."
"We can't wait two days, we will be dead by then" I whisper. Haymich nods in agreement as I look at the gash on his head that oozes blood and my wrists in a similar condition. I can't afford to lose more blood or have anywhere else for an infection to strike. "We go tomorrow evening" I say in Haymich's other ear that dosent have a microphone or whatever in it. In reply he nods and says nothing else on the matter.
Chapter 99 Peeta
We all go to the board room for a meeting and even I am forced to leave the communications room to attend, leaving no-one in there if Katniss needs us. But right now she is asleep in a sober Haymich's arms; this gives me a little comfort. Sealena arrives with Blagg's and we start. "Given Katniss's state, I think without medical treatment she will die in about four days, maybe five if she is lucky. We need to get to them as quickly as possible and hope that in the events due to commence tomorrow night she won't die. Haymich however, he won't last longer than three days I would think. His immune system is severely damaged to start with and he will no doubt go crazy from the nightmares and withdrawal, wouldn't you say Prim?"
"I gave them less Blagg's sir; Haymich is getting worse and Katniss-" she runs down the length of the table to me and throws her arms around me and cries. I encircle her in my arms as I listen to what Indi says.
"Richard, when can we get to them?" she says and Richard stands up and walks over to her and stands by her.
"We can't." I close my eyes and throw my head back against the back of the swivel chair Indi 'found'.
"Why not?" I say and stand up as Prim goes to James.
"We have no more planes."
"So what, we just leave her there and hope she lives long enough for us to get a plane to her? If she was here now would she just say we can't and give up?" Indi shakes her head but I'm not finished. "I haven't been much help recently but I'm going to get to her and get her home safely. Right so we better get thinking of a plan to get to her and fucking soon because I'm not losing her and Charlotte in one go."
"How much did you give him and what the hell was it?" James questions Prim.
"I never got round to it, he has had nothing" Prim says but I don't think I was supposed to hear.
"We could…." Ben begins.
"What?" I ask hopefully.
"Send James, you and me to the capitol by train, like smuggled onto the train, we get there and then help them get out."
"I would have to come too. So if they have any injuries I can treat them there so they don't worsen on the way home, Keep them all stable, especially Charlotte" Blagg's adds.
"Right then, that's what we will do. It'll be risky but then again it always was going to be. James, Ben are you two ok with it?"
"She is family both of them are, I'm fine with it if you are." I nod then look up at Indi.
"Next train isn't until next week." I slam my hand down on the table at her response.
"Take the car then run through the tunnel and into the capitol?" I suggest in my rage.
"Nope, it's rigged with mines along the foot path and the tracks is far too dangerous. The trains move too fast, you wouldn't stand a chance." I nod but we are running out of options. "Right we will have to stay here until we come up with something." we all agree and Prim comes and cuddles in to me tightly on the very comfy swively seat.
Chapter 100 Katniss
Haymich wakes me and the doctor early afternoon and I see Molly standing before us with what looks like weapons. "For you Katniss" and she hands me an oh so familiar metallic bow and a quiver of metallic arrows. She also hands me a knife and then one to both Haymich and Abercrombie. She also has one. "I'm coming too" she says and I nod like Haymich. Then I begin to explain the plan.
We make no further conversation; we all know the plan now. We snake out of the cell and into a barren corridor; I stay up front with my bow loaded just in case, Haymich follows with Abercrombie close behind leaving Molly holding up the rear. The corridor is decorated with cell doors down the right hand side and behind them we hear cries of pain. On the doors some have T's on them and I presume it's for torture and D's on them no doubt means death. The weapons hang in neat lines on the left walls with the occasional break for a lamp that is also attached to the wall. We all run as fast as we dare down the hall until I see the orange pattern on the opposite wall created by the archway door. I slam myself against the wall to the right of the door so I can see if anyone if coming but there is no one. We cautiously walk up the spiral concrete stairs until Molly hisses for us to stop. "There is an office with no door coming off the stairs, it will be occupied but they aren't usually protected with armour." I nod in understanding then continue upstairs and sure enough we come to the opening in the wall. They all have their backs to the door. I climb up four more steps until I am on the other side of the door to Haymich and signal for the two of us to go in with our knives. I want to save the arrows for later when it comes to getting Charlotte. I glance up the middle of the stair well but see no signs of life or peacekeepers then I pull out my knife like Haymich. We ease our way inside and keep directly behind them. After seeing them close up it becomes clear that they have headphones on. It is clearly some sort of security room because the screens each show different rooms in the mansion and multiple rooms like this but the people who re in the room are in a proper peacekeepers uniform and then there is us. Us, we are on there. Shit. I step forward like Haymich and we are just in reach of them so I do it, I stab the knife in the back of my unsuspecting victim as Haymich does the same.
"We are on camera" I say to Haymich then turn to see the camera is on the wall of the door in the left hand corner.
"We have company" Molly says alarmed. "If we run we can make it to the storage room." We race out the room and up the stairs but as they become narrower I realise that we would probably have been better off staying where we were and just killing them as they came. I look up, four or five keepers jog lightly down the stairs.
"How much further?" Haymich whispers down the line to Molly that had overtaken Abercrombie.
"This flight" she says without an inch of doubt in her voice.
"You crazy? There is no way we will make it" Haymich gasps.
"RUN!" I snarl back at him as I begin sprinting up them three at a time like my life depended on it, which it does. I turn briefly to see they are keeping up with my pace but Haymich has beads of sweat coming off his brow, he clearly isn't as fit as he was once.
"Next left" Molly hiss's and I scan the wall looking for the opening, the guards on the flight above us are closing in fast making the search frantic. I almost run past it because it is a curved wall making it hard to see. There is no door on this room either just an archway, I dive in with my bow and arrow loaded expecting to see keepers but there is nothing but supplies. I signal for the rest of them to come in before I turn to face the doorway, then take my place on the right hand side of the door with Haymich on the opposite side so I can see the fast approaching keepers but hopefully be concealed by the stone wall.
"Now what?" Abercrombie growls, I sort through the options and decide we will just have to kill them as they come in, if they come in.
"Shhh" I point at the door as the legs of the first row come into sight. Readying my bow I prepare to shoot whoever comes close to the doorway then decide that is should just start killing them now; I shoot at their legs making them fall down the steep steps tripping over each other. Some fall down the gap that runs down the centre of the spiral no doubt killing them by breaking their necks. When I look away from the mass of body's falling down the stairs I realise that more are coming and I can't kill them all they are too close "Haymich" I sing in a alarmed voice
"Oww shit" he raises an eyebrow as he skids to a stop at the door and sees our opponents and he grabs his knife and mine. The arrows barely leave the bow before they are stabbed into the hearts of the keepers and they join the rest at various levels on the stairs
"Molly knife." she tosses me the knife as Haymich and I begin slitting their throats as they come down the stairs, we must have killed about twenty that is fifteen more that when I counted them earlier and there is still more coming.
"Abercrombie see if you can find the way out, it is in here some were" Molly shouts from the far right corner of the room
"I'm standing next to it" Haymich snarls but Molly ignores his comment
"We could do with it about now" I gasp as I stick the knife into one of the many keepers who are pushing their way into our space "Abercrombie we could do with your help up here" I again sing in a very alarmed voice
"I don't know how to fight!" he cries.
"Well when is a better time to learn than when your life bloody depends on it!" I shoot back then I swear under my breath as my knife goes walkys with a dead gard.
"Any luck with this door Molly?" Haymich graciously asks but I can tell that he thinks she is crazy.
"No" she replies simply. I step out onto the stairs and grab one of them by the sleeve of the armour then shove him down the stairs. After our door way the stairs are red with shiny blood creating a river like coating that branches off into thin streams then re-joins later on. My new tactic works well; I keep shoving them down the stairs, and most break their necks on their journey down. Others fall down the gap; they should really put a hand rail there just in case we come along and decide to kill the whole force of keepers.
"We are just gonna have to risk it, there is too many and if we stay here much longer we will be trapped" I decide and no surprise Haymich agrees, he has also adopted this tactic apart from he has been pushing them straight down the gap- ouch- if they aren't dead, then they are Buttercup, by god I hate that cat.
I stay up front as we march out of the room, we all keep close to the wall because I keep chucking the guards down as they come in drips and drabs now. "Nearly there" Molly gasps then paces up the stairs so she is next to me "This is where it will get hard." I stop and look at her, I want briefing and now. "There is cameras in every hall way and at least four keepers, I even get lost in here never mind you three." well that fills me with hope.
Chapter 101
When we reach the top of the stairs I am blinded as I walk past the door way to the other side then look out. The sun is streaming in through the glass directly opposite, but this is no normal window, no it is a glass wall to be honest. The whole wall is just a big window with the grand entrance where we were dragged through, two, three maybe even four days ago. "Right, there is a gallery that goes up three floors there are two staircases one on the left and one on the right, you take the left with them two" Molly begins "I will take the right but be careful they are regularly patrolled and the sun isn't on our side this morning. The glass stops at the top of the stairs and there is some shadowed places, try keep in them and out of sight, have you got it Katniss. Stay alongside the gallery banister I will meet you in the central corridor, ok?" I process this then nod.
"Haymich you hold up the back" I say then step into the orange light. Peeta begins to creep into my mind but I shut it out abruptly, I have to focus not think about him, it will make me weak. I dart across to the stairs constantly looking around me for any signs of life but there is nothing. The stairs run straight up the side of the glass and is very grand, it runs up to the first floor and I spot the shadows Molly was talking about, a corner where the glass stops and a wall starts covered by an overhanging box no doubt a room extension that also stops where the window starts. I waste no time, after all there is nowhere to hide until I get up to the top, I sprint up the stairs in a very inelegant manner, the opposite to what it was presumably originally used for. I imagine beautiful women in ball gowns sweeping down it with their escorts hanging off their arms under the two crystal chandeliers hanging centrally in the gallery, not me in tatty khaki pants I wore in the arena and a t-shirt with a thin jacket over it. And as for the escorts, I have Haymich and Abercrombie. Not exactly fit for a party ehh?
Once at the top I scan the landing. We are in the wings, they run down the length of the castle and at the end of ours I see a small window at the bottom. Then the landing joining the two wings has one too but I can't see down it, that is where we are meant to be meeting Molly. I hear a chink, chank which can only mean one thing. I throw myself against the wall in the shadows dragging Abercrombie with me; Haymich follows like we are one. Six keepers jog lightly out of the central corridor and turn right. They then take the sharp corner and run towards us. I hold my breath but the formation moves past us and down the stairs. I follow the group down the stairs with a wide gaze and see them as they disappear into the stairwell we came from moments ago. "Run!" I hiss back at the two and then lunge forwards into the light again. There is an opening in the wall just along from where we were leaning against. Down from the opening there is yet another landing with another corridor, infested with doors and another small window sits at the bottom. We run along the landing opposite the window that faces out onto the Capitol, with all its fancy houses and building of all different shapes and sizes. The cap of the mountain is just visible. I can just make out Molly's silhouette opposite me but a little further down the landing, she is lurking in the shadows like we did moments ago, she stays there for a few seconds then runs towards us.
"Right, now just down this corridor follow the window at the bottom, Katniss you go first I will go at the back" I nod but say no more. We all fall into a line like we have had it drilled into us for years. We keep to the right hand side of the corridor and I keep my eyes fixed on the stained glass window as we move silently down the hall. On the left hand wall right by the window I see the doorway created by light. The door way to the stairs or something is on the right hand wall thank god, it makes everything so much harder when you are on the opposite side of the door. The light floods in from the glass stair way but I dare not show my whole face yet, I merely poke one eye around the door to see what is in there and I am faced with more glass and towers outside. The stairs run up in a square to the next floor. No one appears to be here but the towers give me a bad feeling. I turn to my on guard group to announce that the coast is clear and we march clumsily into the light stairwell but the towers still give me a bad feeling and I don't like bad feelings.
Chapter 102
We just clear the first set of stairs when a shrilling siren goes off. We all exchange glances and Haymich and Abercrombie look at me for an explanation but my eyes have fallen upon Molly who is as white as a ghost with a hint of grey. "They'll be coming they've seen us" the sympathy in her voice is overflowing.
"We can still get to Charlotte though?" Haymich questions as he leans against the handrail. Moments seen like hours then she shakes her head.
"It's too far. They'll be on us at the top of the stairwell we need to be right up there" she points up the small rectangular gap running up, maybe, seven floors
"If we move now we might stand a better chance, we can all fight!" I say sounding very leader like.
"It won't be like before; it will be more like thirty, forty of them all armed, we don't stand a chance"
"I never did stand well against odds but I'm still here and I'm not leaving my daughter here, I have to try at least" I almost plea but I'm doing this with or without her approval. She presses her lips together and gives a slight nod of the head.
"Go until there is no stairs left, I'm going to try and buy you lot some time, throw them off your track, go it won't be long"
"Then where?" I ask as the adrenalin sets in.
"I will meet you three up there, hide or something, stay near the stairwell doorway though." I half nod then sprint and I mean sprint up the stairs with Haymich beside me, I don't look to see where Abercrombie is in case I fall back down the stairs. After every two flights of stairs there is a doorway onto the floor but there are no guards, well not that I can tell anyways. I count the stairs, seven on each flight separated by a mini landing one with windows and one with the doorway to the landing.
Chapter 103 Molly
"She went down the corridor when the siren went off, I think she panicked." I lie ushering the force down some random corridor that leads miles away from the gallery and straight outside to the outbuilding. Once they have disappeared into the gloom I run back down the central corridor to the stairs. I stop, trying to think if there is a different/quicker way to get up there. My head turns from left to right frantically; I can feel my long ponytail hit off each shoulder as I do so. Nothing comes to mind so I make a hasty start on the stairs. I can vaguely hear their clatter but they are floors above me
"Get to safety Miss Snow for god's sake!" I jump at the voice behind me. It's the boy that helps my grandfather, Jake; I think his name is Jake. I have always liked him but not helping, If I go out and come back with bags he takes them away and carry's them to my room, I want to be independent not have someone fuss over me, that why I like Katniss, her attitude is more like you look after yourself I have already got people to look after. Now though I need his help, more than ever.
"Will you help me Jake, please?" he looks concerned and exposed like he doesn't know what to do.
"Why do you need my help for Miss Snow?" I detect a hint of challenge and spite in his voice but yet his face shows nothing.
"I need your trust and you have mine" he nods.
"You have it Miss Snow" and his pink lips curl into a smile. A stray strand of brown hair falls into his eyes. Unlike most keepers he wears nothing but the white uniform, not the helmet and gloves, just the white uniform.
"I need you to help me get Katniss, Haymich and that doctor out, you can help get Charlotte out too" his eyes widen.
"That's who they're looking for!" I nod assuming he means Katniss and the others.
"Who's Charlotte?" His brown eyes look right into mine as I stand on the first step of floor three.
"Katniss's daughter that my Grandad kidnapped. I've been looking after her but Ella has her now and I'm worried what she is doing with her. She is evil that sister of mine" I smile.
"She has a daughter?" he's a genius as well as gorgeous.
"Yes she was born here in the Capitol; she was two months early or something."
"I would gladly help you Miss Snow" this Miss Snow thing, kinda getting annoying now
"Call me Molly or Molls or anything but that" I smile and turn knowing that I have wasted too long talking to him when we have so many flights to clear. I lead up the stairs but I can feel him behind me.
We make good time but now I have to find them. I scan the top floor landing but there isn't anywhere to hide here, the metal railing dosent provides much cover. I decide to finally emerge from the bright stairwell into the dingy corridor. Straight away I know where they is hiding. The store room has an inside lock "You can come out" I whisper then stand back with Jake beside me. Nothing. Then before I know it a hand is clamped around my mouth.
Chapter 104
I look at her panicked then she smiles. Her eyes drift to Jake who is standing looking shocked "Yep just add to the people I have to look after Molly, god sake, wanna just ask the git himsell to come and join our abduction/rescue/ escape huu?" I get my breath back shocked "How d'you know he isn't just going to go tell on us?"
"Hi I'm Jake and I am here" she looks up at him and raises an eye brow.
"I know, so shut up" and she smiles sarcastically at him then looks back at me.
"He won't, I promise" I look up at him and smile but Katniss isn't convinced.
"Why do you want to help me Jake?" he lowers his head a little.
"I feel sorry for you" I close my eyes. I have known Katniss for like three days and even I know that is not a wise thing to say.
"Pity, you pity me. So you want to help me, do you realise that you will probably get killed along with everyone else that even tries to help me" he nods
"What life do I have here, my family are rebels, my brother Richard flies planes for you not like he was any good but me, I'm trapped, can't get out. I want to be free."
"Richard. Your Richard's brother!" she looks at Jake taking in his features "He is the best pilot. He is amazing, he taught me to fly" she raises her eyebrow again "You sure you want to help?" he nods eagerly then looks at me then back at Katniss.
"I'm sure" she nods and kind of smiles as she turns. She kicks in the door next to the stairwell doorway and Haymich and Abercrombie stole out trampling on the white - now splintered door that lies on the floor. Katniss and I make a move leaving Haymich looking at the Jake in the doorway
"You made it into the club I see, Katniss is a push over."
"Am not" she shouts back.
"Nice eyes" his words echo down the corridor to us.
"Shut up" I whisper then turn back round the way we are traveling. "We need to go left here down the corridor, get ready." She slides her bow down her arm and readies it with an arrow in. We wait by the door as the others catch up and we make a formation. Katniss and Haymich at the front, me and Jake at the back and Abercrombie in the middle. She peaks her head around the corner then rolls back towards us.
"Ready?" I nod but Abercrombie looks petrified.
"What do I do?"
"You stay close and kill if necessary ok" she pats him on the back then her and Haymich slip into full view followed by Crombie and then us. I glance back over the corridor quickly then follow into the window less orange tunnel decorated with brown dormitory doors "Haymich switch with Molly I can't see a damn thing at least she knows where she is going" we switch without a fuss and once upfront I see what she means. It is very dark down here and the gloomy lights give no benefit to the dimness of the corridor. We continue down the hall but it seems to get darker as we move down it.
"I have a lighter" Jake announces finally and Katniss stops. I can sense that she is looking at him like: now you tell us. He passes it to her after fumbling around in his pocket for a moment or two. She lights it, the friction clicks and echoes in the corridor that is now enlightened. I look back at Jake and see the fear on Crombie's face and the whiteness on Jakes could have illuminated the whole room.
"Shit" and she exhales heavily. I turn on my heels and my throat clenches and my tummy knots.
Chapter 105 Peeta
We lost connection this morning or something and I'm going out of my mind with worry. Katniss is somewhere and Charlotte is gone. Wirus is trying to configure the settings so it is compatible with all parts of the palace but isn't having much luck, the speaker is working when it want to or in certain hotspots as he is moving but we only get snippets.
"Peeta" James walks into the door of communications "Will you sleep, please" I just look at him, he knows the answer. I how can I sleep when my fiancé and child are god knows were. For all I know they could be dead and that is the best we can hope for because if they are alive they could be being tortured as we speak. When I am sitting sometimes I can hear her cries of pain and my little girl's first cry is not a sign of a new life being born it is a cry of pain the reflection of pain implicated upon her. It fills my ears and spreads through me like a plague. Prim is my only comfort right now. She is always trying to cheer me up, it works, really it does but then more bad news rolls along and knocks me back to reality. "There is nothing you can do Peeta so be there for Prim" I look at myself and I see a seventeen year old with bad luck and the most beautiful girlfriend and a daughter. I see me sitting with my knees up with my elbow resting on it propping my head up. I'm a right state but at least I can be bothered to get changed and have a shower everyday but other than that I don't move. I see what I am becoming and therefore what Prim is seeing and James and Ben and Nadinear and the rebellion. Katniss isn't here so I have to be. I need to be strong and I need to keep this going until she gets back. Then I can fall into her arms and bring up my baby girl that I will love and protect just like her Mother. I look up at James then stand.
"Your right" I say sounding like myself almost like I have just snapped out of my trance "Get Indi here please and Prim while I go and get ready right" he pulls me in for a hug then wanders off. I glance back at the screen then run down the stairs like life has just been pumped into me. I pass people on the stairs and greet them good morning they smile but look so normal unlike me. I must look a wreck I haven't slept in like a week or something I haven't eaten or drank either. Once I reach my floor I open my compartment door and just take in the room. The decoration on the wall the ticking clock on the angled door into the bathroom. The made bed that I bothered myself to do a week ago and then the photo behind the door on the desk. It makes me smile even when I don't feel like smiling. I trace her hair with my finger then walk into the bathroom.
Once I am changed I look at the photo and let loss surge through me for a second then I leave wiping it away from my system before I begin the stairs. I still think going up them is easier than going down. People greet me but you can see the question in their eyes, where is Katniss? When I'm on the thirty sixth floor I decide I want breakfast. The Cafeteria is busy; clearly I'm not the only one who is hungry. I pick up a bottle on orange juice and some sort of sandwich. When I get to the front of the queue the lady that served me the first time smiles at me "It's still free for you" she beams
"And I can still give you a tip" I hand her the money and she rolls her eyes then giggles. I walk away smiling then catch Gale's eye; he is sitting in the corner by the door. He waves me over and I take a seat in front of him
"Have you heard anything?" I shake my head making him catch his breath "And…" I look up almost pleading him not to say her name.
"Nothing, nothing about any of them."
"I'm sorry Peeta." I look right at him. Its bullshit he doesn't care about me or my feelings just himself "I am Peeta, I am not like you I don't have a child"
"Well at the minute nor do I" I get up and leave the cafeteria trying to block the convosation out of my mind. The last thirty three flights are quiet there's no one about up here because there's no reason to be up here. I burst into communications making everyone jump. Prim's arms fly around me. I pick her up and give her a proper hug "I'm sorry Prim" I whisper in her ear and squeeze her gently before putting her down. I sit down at the end of the long conference table that has been put there in the last hour as she sits on my knee I look at the screen to my right that I have been glued to for the last few days then refocus on the rest of the people at the table "Do we have anything?"
"No but we are working on it, Wirus, explain" Indi asks abruptly.
"Well I have a way to get the speaker and receiver on Haymich connected to the capitol main ingoing outgoing supply but it is riskier. The line is open to the capitol so messages might get muddled or hacked. Or we could use the trackers. Then we would know where she is for the time being or at least until Beete and I establish a way to get a safe connection going that is stable. Right now what it is doing is it is hacking into the palace security so it is accepted but them the system reboots itself and the connection is denied. Each time it is declined it relocks with a new password and our connection has to try and decode it. It's a losing battle right now" he looks at Indi then continues. "And we still don't have any ships and were not likely to get any, well at least not soon" I nod then think of what to say.
"And the trains they still aren't running?" Indi shakes her head in reply.
"Nothing has changed since the last meeting Peeta, if it had I would have told you" I already knew this but it filled in the silence.
"How are all of you?"
"Peeta I will be honest. We haven't done much to try and help her; we have been waiting for the solution to come to us."
"Have you given up now?" I question but as soon as I say it I regret it.
"No Peeta we just don't know where to start, so we haven't." I shake my head in disbelief so in other words they are leaving them there to either die or be brainwashed and in that case I would rather the first. "We will start working on it and really try this time."
"But it has taken you 'till now to work that out, she could be dead by now Indi!" James pipes up. That word; dead. It just sounds so nothing, like there is nothing. It is just a word but the reality is it is just the word we use to label something when it's gone. Take Katniss. I know somewhere that she isn't dead but she is gone because we can't see her and it's the same as when you're dead, you can't see them. I think of it more as an uncertainty.
"I'm sorry James but we have been sorting out were the rest of the rebels that are coming are going to go and we are thinking that we might have to build on from here and that isn't easy to do"
"Hold on so you have the resources to build this place but not to bring back Katniss, Haymich and Charlotte?" I challenge Indi from the other end of the table
"Yes" she simply replies
"And what good is this place without a leader or is that what you want her gone so you can take over?" she shakes her head slightly
"No of course not but reconciliations take time and ships which we don't have at the minute I'm sorry" she smiles knowingly down the table.
"What does that mean?" Prim pipes up.
"Trying to get them back basically and find some sort of truce" James explains and she nods in contentment with his reply.
"I promise Peeta" and she stands. The light caches her face showing a glint on her white face, she is crying "I promise" a sympathetic smile creeps onto her face "Well come on Wirus we better get a start on this then" and the pair get up and wander out the room
"What will we all do?" Ben begins and to be honest I don't know.
"Prim lets go on an adventure" I smile at her, It's about time we did something nice together. She winds her arms around my neck like a monkey almost hanging off me.
Chapter 106 Katniss
The place falls silent but the click of the keepers turning off the safety latch on their guns becomes deafening in the stillness. The formation is impressive: eight keepers, six of whom armed with guns; three squatting three standing. Then two at the back who have just lit torches. What ever happened to just lights? They block our way and I unloaded my bow when I lit the lighter. So, let's look briefly at my predicament. I am now unarmed because if I so much as move they will shoot but I do have a lighter, not exactly much help "Molly get ready to run, pass it on" I whisper ever so quietly while trying not to move my lips too much. The arrow I hold in my left hand will just have to do. I flip up the cap up and the flame flickers and adds more light to the room. I hold the arrow by the headed end. Now this will either work or kill us all both of which is an improvement on our current state of affairs. I take the lighter to the feathers and they catch immediately. It quickly spreads chewing up the length of what I thought to be metal but is clearly just a wood but painted or something. I throw the arrow mercilessly at the formation then run. The others clearly took off before me so I have an easy stretch but time is of the essence. I am about three meters from the end of the corridor when it blows. The whole lot of them blow up in flames. I am thrown up by the impact the lunged onto the floor at some force. I turn to see two or three fireballs that was once keeper's holding me at gun point, franticly panicking and rushing around in the flames stumbling on corpses and melting guns. I see them drop to the floor one by one taking the raging glow with them. The fire eats along the carpet towards me as the small gloomy corridor clouds over with a thick smoke and the sprinklers. Then someone is tugging at me but I am too absorbed in watching them all burn until nothing remains. I think of my Father. I used to imagine him burning in a corridor probably no darker than this and similar in many other aspects, running around on fire trying to escape the pain. Then the white tunnel. The purity of the white against the evil black the radiant kind glow against the hellish evil flame. I see his eyes. I smell his smell. But yet I hear nothing but his cries of pain. The image of his remains when I looked into the coffin. I relayed them in the soil so nothing belonging to the capital was around him. I re-sculpted his skeleton at the age of eleven. I see the skull. His jaw set open how it should be but back then I was naive I thought that he died screaming but now I know he would have died with dignity not running or scrambling or screaming, he would have died like a man. This is only half of the compensation for his death. Not the medal I received, not even the twenty dollars I was offered because that was his worth apparently. I didn't take any of it. I told them he is worth more than any money under your name, right there in front of my Mother and sister I told the mayor and the death keeper who is in charge of the money a family receives when a loved one is killed. "Katniss we need to get outta here now sweetheart!" It's Haymich, he is shaking my shoulders vigorously and I snap out of my replay of my past and jump up nearly head butting Haymich in the process, sprinting the last meter. The force through more than a meter. Now that is what I call an explosion! I skid out of the gloom to find Molly who has some sort of key in her hand. She slots it into a key hole and a red light begins to flash as a door begins to close. When I turn to face Abercrombie who is standing opposite the door looking whiter than usual he lifts his trembling hand so it is extended and pointing back down the corridor. I follow his gaze to see a keeper of flames running down the corridor towards us.
"Molly, any chance you can close it any quicker?" The man is soon followed by more keepers. This isn't the same group I conclude, there's more coming. He is about half way between the door and the flame wall. "Molly" I sing in an alarmed voice. Just then something explodes down the corridor. I grab a stunned Abercrombie and pull him towards the rest of us as the flames explode out of the ten inch gap between the floor and the fire proof door. If I hadn't have pulled Crombie out the way he would also be on fire now. Molly, Haymich and I are now attempting to pat down the small patch of carpet that is on fire while Jake calms down Crombie who is like kind of hyperventilating right now. Once the fire is gone and I'm happy we need to figure out a way to get to Charlotte then outta here before I burn the whole place down "Did you have that planned?" Molly asks when we all gather round and the honest answer is no. I used what I had and put it to good use.
"No. Molly never mind that, now we need to get to Charlotte" she smiles then leads us away towards the gallery. She stays up front and I walk in the middle with Haymich, Crombie and Jake behind us.
"That was nice work sweetheart." I smile at Haymich and see the smoke has darkened his face so I must be really bad. I notice something really weird; no fire alarm. For a palace this size I thought it would be the first thing on the list but nothing had gone off. I look up at the ceiling. There is four bells that have fire written on them between here and the gallery. They should have gone off by now, there is a thick layer of smoke still lingering just inches off the ceiling and it covers the bells and therefore the detectors but it is a good job the place has high ceilings but I think the white paint might be a little darker now like a smoky white and as for the carpets, probably need to be replaced but oh well I need to leave something to let everyone know I was here at least.
Chapter 107
When we reach the end of the corridor I realise that the brightness is not the gallery but a balcony that would start at the window and stretch the full with of the gallery. The wall is again glass with double glass doors out on to it. The railing outside is separated by glass with silver metal bars. The whole place might as well be made out of glass. The corridor is again the most central and the connecting landing runs to the left and to the right. All the way down it appears to be bright and just from first glance there must be at least four more corridor entrances along here before there is a murkiness at the bottom at both sides "Which way?"
"Right, this is just the longer way, that corridor you burnt down was my short cut to my room that now I can't use thanks"
"Just keeping you fit" I say before taking off towards the right. It is strange because on my left hand side I have a wall then on my right I have the Capitol in full view thanks to the window
"Does the dark at the end of the corridor not frighten you Katniss?" Crombie's shaky voice appears from behind me
"No. It's just where the window stops, right?" I answer then ask at the same time
"No the window goes right along to my corridor" the edge in Molly's voice tells me something isn't right so on instinct I act. I load my bow ready in case there is some group of keepers there. I need new ways to kill them every time it's boring otherwise!
"Shoot, see if it hits anyone" Haymich offers, I nod and release, I let the arrow fly through the air. Within a blink of an eye it is gone, swallowed up by the abyss. We all stop waiting for a sign that it has either landed or hit someone. Moments later we get our reply that nearly killed Molly. I push her to the floor hopefully Haymich does the same or it will hit him too. We are being shot at with, of all weapons, arrows. Now if this was me I would have hit us all in one go but that's just me. After that one good shot that nearly killed my way out the arrows stop meter short of us so I decide that we can move on.
"Crap" the voice carries down the corridor and I realise that he is on his own. Now I am satisfied that we can continue and just take him out when we get to him but Molly still seems to be a little shaken
"Getting shot at in my own home" she mutters as we press on down the dim corridor. The curtains are drawn and there are only three wall lights on but even they have the stretches angriness. We work our way down the row of curtain and wall until Molly whacks me in the stomach
"What the hell was that for?" I hiss winded
"Sorry it was meant to be your arm but I can't see a damn thing in here" I hear her run her hand along the wall as it strokes over the decretive paper then it stops. "This is the corridor" and she goes to start charging round the corner when I yank her back. Luckily I can sense movement and I don't just have to see it.
"There are people there" I take in the musky smell that lingers in the darkness like smoke. Then that chocking smell of gasoline chokes the back of my throat "And I think things are going to get hot again, is there another way down there?"
"No you closed the alternate route down Katniss"
"Well who's up for a fight, I am, Haymich" I smile into the dimness but can feel and hear him smile back; we don't really have much of a choice now. "I've got it. Thingy you go and have a looksee at what we are up against and try distracting them, maybe kill a few?"
"My name is Jake." I roll my eyes
"Well excuse me for forgetting something so important after I saved your life back there making me forget your name… Jake"
"Thank you."
"Don't you dare get cocky with me because I don't have the patience for people like you, thingy" I stick my tongue out like a big kid again into the shield darkness and raise my voice then realise where I am "Do you want to help or not?" a few moments pass then he brushes passed all of us then disappears down the wing.
"At ease it is me" the waiting keepers mutter, clearly accepting him. "I have orders to check up on that thingy in there" he raises his voice to emphasise that I have crossed the line by calling him that, but come on, this is my baby.
"What a bastard he is" I growl under my breath and I hear Haymich clap his hand over his mouth obviously and attempt to prevent laughter from escaping.
"At the end of that corridor there is an emergency flight of stairs that lead out into the grounds so when we get her we can get out quickly. Give her to Haymich though. We will need your hands" although I trust Haymich I'm not sure if I want to trust him to hold my tiny baby before I have properly held her myself. I ache to have her in my arms and I can feel the bulge in my pants pocket where her teddy and charm is hidden from loss and damage. The echo that reaches me is the click of door
"Dunno why sir doesn't just kill the little bugger. Would save us all a lot of hassle" the deep hollow voice bellows down the hall filling every crevice. My muscles tense with rage and anger yet my hands are tied. For now.
"I will enjoy putting an arrow through his head" I whisper bluntly as Jake joins us in our hiding spot.
"Six, there is six all armed with different weapons and lights. So Katniss any bright ideas?" I do have one but firstly I want to know how my little girl is doing since he is now my eyes
"Yes and how is Charlotte?"
"Smiling and warm, she is so sweat and chirpy" I smile and lean back slightly into Haymich. "So this idea?"
"Yeah, I put the arrows in the bow and… why am I explaining this?" I ask scowling, not like anyone can see me anyway
"That's what I thought" Haymich chuckles. I push between Molly and the wall passing the arrows to her to hold. I load the first onto the bow then stop.
"Same layout as last time?"
"Yep" with that I load three arrows taking off the necessary feathers on each so when I realise they will go their own way. I visualise the previous persition of the front row then place my bow on the corridor wall facing them and waste no time firing but I doubt it will work. I hear the flop then reload and fire. The chank of weapons and clatter of helmets is enough for me to decide that it is time to get my daughter.
"Go" I order as we all fall out from our cover into the dim corridor. As I approach the heap the gasoline stench is suddenly accounted for. The giant torches lay in an accidental array outside a small cluster of four doors all identical.
"No guns" I warn when we are about a meter from the first door. We all stop as both opposite doors open. My heart begins to pound in my chest and works its way to my throat. Time starts to sluggishly slow steadily to a stop. Each moment sticking and clinging then passing. My daughter is a barricade of keepers away and so is our escape. My stomach feels nervous but then again I think I have lost it. The previous plans rush through my head faster than I can process them but I try. Some of them can be altered but weapons are now not an option. We have only half a meter at a push to work with between us and the circle of keepers. My mind slips into plan overdrive, all the possible plans wiz through my head like lighting until one stick's. Fight. What am I standing here for when my baby is in that room and I'm standing here? I look at Haymich for some sign of agreement or understanding but get nothing. Slowly I shuffle back so I am level with him "Fight?" I whisper trying not to move my lips too much in the fire lit section
"You crazy?" is his near silent reply
"No" I hiss back at him. He presses his lips together and nods exhaling lightly but yet dramatically. My eyes size up the keepers as I try to figure out which one I will target first "Got my back?" I say out loud this time as he passes me his knife discretely.
"Always" is his reply and I spin around on my heel with both my hands outstretched clasping the knife tightly.
Behind me keepers spray blood as I drag the jagged blade across the necks who just so happen to make a semi-circle. When I am facing forward again and have regained my vision I see my little group fighting like mad with whatever they have which is mostly fists since only Haymich seems to have had the sense to take the dead keepers weapons. Behind me my ears prick when I hear movement behind me. I act as usual on instinct and spin round stabbing the keeper in the stomach then watch him sink to the ground weeping in agony "Katniss back" Haymich shrieks. With a start a stab the counter attacking keeper before hurrying over to Haymich.
"There's more" I confirm looking at the swarm of them that pester Molly, Jake and Crombie. Just then charlottes room door opens and more come out and snake behind us blocking the way we came then as they all file into place I see just how badly outnumbered we are. There is three rows of them blocking our way back but none in front. The door in which keeps me from my little girl is manned by three keepers and then the three rows of them in front.
Haymich and I start trying to take out this round but we aren't getting anywhere fast. There is too many of them all holding the side up but we fight like mad battering them with whatever is handy. I stab some with my arrows since there is no point trying to shoot at this close a range and Haymich has the knife and Molly, Molly is standing talking to Jake and some torch holder/keeper, I mean come on! I will just fight like crazy while you have a nice chat. Jakes hand comes round his back and up under his coat. When it comes back out it holds a gun "NO!" I squeal but he pulls the trigger and kills the keeper. He and the flame drops to the ground making Molly and Jake jump back. The keeper is soon engulfed in flames. For a moment everything stops and three nearby keepers also go up in flames. Soon people jump back into action and more come out into the smoky corridor all armed and ready to fight. That is why I told them NOT to use their guns, they fire everyone knows there is trouble. Think of it like a flair, it is used to send out warnings. Keepers use them if there is trouble and if there isn't a flair they use a stray gunshot. In effect that's what Jake just did, great.
Haymich grabs my arms so I am facing him "Katniss we have to go now" the sympathy in his eyes is swallowing me up and clearly him. I know there is no chance we can get to Charlotte now and even if we did it would be putting her at risk but I can leave her here
"No" my voice has diminished into a enervated whisper. I can't leave her here she is so close to me, so close to coming home to her Daddy and family, how can I leave her here
"Katniss we will all die if we stay any longer. What use will you be to her then, please Katniss look at them all" I look around there is about twenty of them all lined up. Line upon line going back down the corridor towards the main corridor, they all face us with guns, flame torches, bows and arrows, you name it they are pointing it at us. The two rows that gard the door all have guns but what I don't understand is why they don't just shoot us. We have been fighting here for almost an hour now yet not one of them have tried to kill me. I look up to the end of the corridor, sealed with another stained glass window that really isn't too far away and is keeper free, for now.
"Haymich" I begin to plea then realise that as a leader you sometimes have to make decisions that aren't easy but you have to make them. Charlotte is safe no matter how much it kills me to admit it. No harm will come to her but if I try to get her out now she will be placed in danger and since we don't even know how we are going to escape taking her now would be selfish and threaten her as well as the rest of us. I look at all the faces trying to help. They are exhausted and battered. Crombie is in tears cowering behind Jake who also has Molly hanging off his arm. Then I look at me and Haymich. We are the strongest two, more or less fearless, we have been through more than imaginable yet here we are. This though is by far the worse we have endured, for me anyways. I have two options: get out of here alive and save most of the people in the rebellion or save my daughter but then get her killed.
When I reawaken I am submerged into the reality of the situation. Throughout the dream I have been standing looking into Haymich's eyes. He holds onto my shoulders tightly and when I close my eyes and slowly nod he gives the gentlest squeeze then lets me jump back into action. Haymich and I break into a run down the corridor. I feel Molly and Crombie behind me so no doubt Jake is close behind too.
Chapter 108 Snow
"We have scowered every district and found nothing. There isn't a hide out for them, any headquarters or anything; it is all word of mouth I think"
"Well I wonder who to believe you or my insider because one of you is lying" I mutter while stripping the leaves off a rose
"Who is your insider?"
"Don't you know? Gale Hawthorne of course"
"Ohh"
"So who is lying? He told me there was a big headquarters in district one"
"We have had over one thousand keepers searching, in ships and everything looking for any major collection of heat from above but nothing sir honest!"
"Ok I believe you then, I need to have a little meeting with Gale Hawthorne then don't I?" I go back to stripping the leaves scheming my meeting with him. The thing about a strong army you need to have some trust for every one that I in it. Everdean knows that. I know she is the leader her and Malark, they are both strong leaders and I am sure they are yet to reach their most powerful but not while I have her locked up with her baby separated, the whole thing will crumble and fall along with Peeta Malark but that isn't before I have had my fun with their lives and the people they love. I have my plans, the government have granted me permission so now all I have to do is sit and wait to see Katniss Everdean, the girl on fires flame go out taking her precious rebellion with it.
Chapter 109 Katniss
We race down the stairwell, Molly upfront with me panting directions for when we reach the bottom. I have to go out the stairwell fire escape and run to the launch pad on the grass, it should be a straight run from here. I decided when I got in the stairwell and saw the ship in the back grounds that that was going to be out escape. They are busy filling it up at the moment but it is still a bit of a distance to cover on foot so they should be done by the time we get there.
We hit the last flight of stairs and run down all nine I then take a sharp right and double back on myself. I press the bar as I get to it and the door swings open setting off an alarm then out into the crisp gale. Leaves blow wildly round and trees sway violently ripping and tearing at the air. The stench of gasoline and grass waft up my nose as we all embark on the last part of the run: up the grass bank and over to the other side of the field to the ship. When I look back I am surprised to see that there are just keepers behind us because we are all sprinting in a line. I slide down my arrow and draw some arrows from my back. My whole arm is covered in blood and so is the other one as well, I am covered in blood, it is in my hair on my face my clothes everything from cutting their necks earlier. I fire at the closer keepers who have broken away from the formation behind that is simply just a long line of the twenty keepers that blocked our original exit and plan of back the way you came. I shoot three keepers and they die immediately and all to the ground but the middle one drops making to one behind fall on top of him and the feathered end of the arrow goes through his stomach too. That is why the point at the end of all Capitol arrows is handy, not only does it kill one person it kills two if the second is clumsy and too close to the first!
The ship comes into sight soon just as the filling up people drives away in the opposite direction giving us our opportunity to get out of here "Will there be people on there?" I ask Molly as we run
"No there shouldn't be" she pants. That's good enough for me; I sprint with every last bit of strength to the ship with my group beside me.
"Who is going to fly?" Jake and Crombie ask in harmony.
"ME" I reply like it was the most obvious answer ever. I open the hatch to the hold telling Crombie, Jake and Molly to get in and close to door after them so I can get this thing started. I clamber into the cockpit with Haymich beside me.
"I wasn't expecting this as an escape then" he smiles. I begin flicking switches and thank god the propellers start going, I look ahead for a second and then when I look back out the window beside me all I can see is red and a few seconds later more red. The keepers are being chopped up by the propellers and the blood is splatting off my window making a complete mess. Who was educated us or them. Anyone in any district would know not to run at a running propeller.
"Ready?" I ask sarcastically
"No" and he shuts his eyes as I begin to lift up off the ground noticing the chopper like controls. In a matter of seconds we are fifty feet off the ground as I get my bearings. "Katniss we are being shot at" Haymich announces. I look around and see the whizzing and whirling bullets showering all round me. Eventually they begin hitting the belly of the ship making that horrible pinging noise. I just start getting ready to start lunging forward when three bullets hit the windscreen cracking it and smashing it.
"Shit" I exhilarate and we jerk forward and begin gliding towards to mountains with haste while gaining speed and altitude. Haymich reaches over and places his hand on my leg
"I'm sorry Katniss, I promise we will get her back somehow" and he smiles sympathetically at me.
Chapter 110
My heavy eyes fall upon district 12 thousand of foot below. "Haymich!" I shriek waking him up with a start
"What" his wide eyes dart around wildly then relax when he realises where he is. That it is a ship almost home. I drop down a bit too dramatically, even my stomach lifts out of place. "GOD! Calm down Katniss" I smile a little then remember that I haven't really got anything to smile about. For the past eight hours that Haymich has been asleep I have been replaying the moments after Charlotte was born, why I more or less let them take her. I should have put up a fight and that brings me onto the events of ten hours ago, I left her so I could save my own skin and Haymich's. No that is daft, I did it because I had too if I had brought her she would probably be dead or injured not that it makes it right, now though I have to face Peeta and my family and his. I have to tell them all that I left my own daughter with the very people I want to kill the most. Peeta will understand I hope but I won't blame him if he resents me for a long time after.
I watch the large glowing sun rise slowly into the dull morning sky, casting sunbeams in every direction. Orange everywhere with beams of pink illuminating the cockpit. I can't help but stare out the cracked panes as the colours made by the rising sun changed, growing more vivid with the passing time, making the sky more radiant as it climbs higher and higher into the sky, but as beautiful as the morning was I knew that the news I was about to deliver was far from radiant. Everything seems so peaceful up here so undisturbed. Yet the colour orange is so fierce like fire. How come a colour so fierce can seem so peaceful. I drop lower and lower then switch to hover like Richard taught me. The landing is soft but to be honest I am just happy to have this ride behind me. At least now I can get it over with and just tell everyone the corrupt thing I have done to my own daughter. "Haymich, get up we're home" I prod him on the knee and open the little hatch in the cockpit to the hold that stinks of cigarettes somehow and my money is on the boy with the lighter. I shout down to my passengers as Haymich wakes up again grumbling about how early in the morning it is and how much of a bad neck he has after his 'nap'. I get out of the plane and assess the damage to my ship like Richard taught me but the last thing I expected to see more guns being pointed in my direction but this time it's my own people. No welcome home Katniss It's the whole gun thing. "It's just me" and they all smile exchanging what I hope is happy glances and disappear inside. I go about my scrutiny looking at the hundreds of bullet holes some of which have smoke coming out of them. I slide open the hold door as a cloud of cigarette smoke swells out actually making me cough. I help Molly out and Crombie who is muttering to Jake about how bad secondary smoke is and that he shouldn't smoke.
"Will you shut up" Jake whines "Three hours of that I have had. You ride with him next time" he says to me almost knocking me out with his smoky breath, to be honest I prefer Haymich's liquor breath. When I look in the cockpit he has fell asleep again.
"Haymich! Out now before this thing blows up, you can sleep when you're dead!" I shut my door and go around to the one he is propped up against since he clearly isn't listening to me. I open the door and he almost falls out.
"I'm awake!"
"Clearly" and I help him up.
"Ready?" I nod but the uncertainty must show "I'm with you" I smile but he does something very out of character. He hugs me tight "I'm always with you and I will always have your back" I nod as he kisses me on the forehead then wanders off toward Crombie and Jake who are still going on about how bad smoking is for you. I have to smile atthis though; it is amusing.
"Who's idea was it to bring him he is mad!" Jake shouts making me laugh and push myself off the plane.
"Come on then" I say and stand by Haymich as we walk towards the door drinking up the liquid gold droplets that slowly begins to warm up my olive skin before I vanish into the shadows cast by the gard towers. The doors slide open and we are greeted by ecstatic faces that gasp when they see what a state we are in. I am covered in blood with a jungle of knots for hair, ripped pants and top and the sleave of my jacket has torn and is slowly working It's way down my arm. Haymich has a gruffy beard, tatty hair and is also covered in blood (nowhere near as bad as me though) and ripped pants. The two of us are also black with suet The others just look exhausted and scruffy and slightly windswept. A man comes to greet us then leads us to the stairs escorting us down them to the big more or less empty room that is just filled with people with a little ally down the middle. There he is. My eyes prick as I run to him. He grabs my face and kisses me messing up my hair even more. Then wraps his arms round me so tight "I'm sorry" I whimper but he shakes his head and lifts my head back so he can kiss me again as Prim approaches in that oh so familiar dress, the one she wore for the reaping. I scoop her up as well. The three of us just embrace each other's presence.
I see Haymich and Crombie with Indi, my Mother, Peeta's family and greasy Sue then Richard with Jake and their Mum.
Peeta and I just kiss too lost in each other to realise where we are "I love you" he whispers
"I love you too" and we kiss again as Prim cuddles in to both of us
The whole room erupts with applause cheers and cries.
I'm my life I have made lots of hard decisions, some I regret and others I know I had to do. I have always had to be a leader but never on the scale of rebellion. Even though my life hasn't been perfect it is perfect now. Or will be. I have a real family. The blessing is now I will give all those people who have had their families stolen by the games justice, just like I will for Rue, my Dad and for my daughter. I have what most expected me never to have. I have beaten the odds but now it is time for Snow to play with the odds.
Being a leader is difficult, you have to know what you really want and what you need. There is one thing I need more than anything and that is…
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