The great and emaciated detective known as L lay on a blanket in the woods, his noodle arms wrapped around his Adonis, Light Yagami. The two of them were enjoying a romantic evening that would inevitably end in lots of great and wonderful sex. Definitely.
"Look at the stars, how they shine for you," L said grandly, gesturing upwards towards the heavens, his bony phalanges grasping futilely at the moon.
Light glanced up at the darkened sky, to see "im hard rn lol" written with the luminous balls of astral gas across the deep abyss of space. It made Light's naughty bits feel all tingly and made his nipples start lactating.
He subtly grasped L's best leg of three, feeling the mammoth meat mass through both pairs of jeans. Honestly he couldn't tell if his sempai was hard or not, it's difficult to tell those things through two pairs of thick blue jeans.
"Ryuzaki-sempai," Light sussurated into L's good ear, "I need your wiener right now-! I need it in my mouth."
"Ok," L said, un-velcroing his shoes and both pairs of Levi's® and listlessly tossing them onto the grass. He splayed his legs open, displaying his aroused anaconda, and then flopped back onto his back, continuing to gaze at the stars.
First L tried to pull back the bedazzled foreskin, but it snapped back up like rubber. This phenomenon happened several times before Light realized it actually was rubber.
He pulled out his ponytail holder out of his hair, and the luxurious mass tumbled down like a ginger waterfall. He shoved the foreskin down one final time, before securing it with the hair tie.
First, he poked the erect crotch canon. Then he patted it gently to reassure the gigantic wanger that his intentions were good.
He looked up and L and spake sensually, "cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I'm only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I've drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That's when I'm satisfied." He grinned before sucking the entire dingaling into his mouth at once.
Eventually the amazing, epic cool blowjob that the author is too lazy to write about ended just about how you'd expect and they got right down to the sexings.
L grabbed a bottle of olive oil (with oregano flakes) from his murse™ and drizzled a metric fuck ton of it on his flesh missile and the rest into Light's cadbury alley. He then proceeded to shove his entire fist in to ascertain the readiness of his favorite butt boy. Finding him ready, he began the process of shoving his tunnel snake into well, uh, Light's snake tunnel.
"Do you think there's life somewhere out there, beyond the vast and lonely galaxy?" Light gasped as his sphincter widened to accept L's meat appendage. L began working his olive oil coated lance of love in Light's anal cavity.
"How could there not be?" L grunted between thrusts, "how anthropocentric, how arrogant can man possibly be to think we alone are the only sentient beings among these stars? Our lives are fragile a fleeting, a single speck of dust in the wind."
"Oh Sempai~" Light gasped breathlessly, his head smashing into a rock with the fervor of their mad sexings, "do you think those sentient beings have penises? How would they differ from human penises? The turians from Mass Effect kinda turn me on."
"Personally I prefer the hanar," L replied as he grasped Light's bepis limply, "I love me some big stupid jellyfish."
"I had a wet dream about a volus once," Light gurgled as he arched his back into L's vigorous futterwackening, "I - I - OH GOD SEMAPI!"
Light shrieked delicately to the stars as his man gravy shot all over the blanket, thinking about being spit-roasted between two 7 foot, metal-plated aliens.
"Hnnnnggg," L replied articulately, as he gave Light his DNA pudding. He then collapsed backward onto the ground, his malnourished body unable to take any more exertion.
"Silly Sempai," Light said sexily as he picked up his sickly, sugar addicted man friend, "tricks are for kids."
L allowed his exhausted and emaciated body to be carried back to the car, slung over Light's shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

The End

(Author's note: honestly this came to me while playing DropDrop on Line play lol. I hope I've improved.)