Forever and Always: Chapter 1
A/N: This is my first Chicago PD fic, it's going to be based on the song Forever and always by Parachute, and Linstead is definitely endgame. I don't own any of the characters or ideas from Chicago PD. Please read and review and let me know if I should continue!
Erin Lindsay was not an open book, anyone who knew her could tell you that. She kept her past to herself and saw no reason that anyone but her should need to know about it. But there was something about Jay Halstead that was different. Being around him made her want to open up and let him in and to this day she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because she got tired of keeping it all in or maybe she just didn't really give a shit anymore and he was the first person available and ready to listen. Deep down though she knew the reality. Jay was someone who she wanted to let in and who she wanted to let get to know her. His stupid, goofy personality drew her in the minute he was brought into her unit and she'd been unable to keep him away. They'd been friends for a while before anything happened, but when she left for the task force and they no longer had the excuse of working together to keep them apart, she let him in. They'd kept it a secret for as long as they could after she transferred back to the unit, and Erin still remembers the day when it became apparent that Voight knew about them. Not knowing another option, she'd suggested that they cool it. Man were those weeks after torture. Not being able to go to sleep in his arms and having to pretend like she didn't love him with every fiber of her being was miserable, and it was getting harder and harder to act like everything was normal as she began a downward spiral.
After a couple of months the effects their breakup began to be clear as day to anyone she came into contact with. Erin came to work every day with bags under her eyes and a look that suggested all hope was gone from her eyes. She grew further and further apart from Voight without ever telling him the reason why and eventually after a couple of missed Sunday night dinners, Hank decided to get to the bottom of things. He started up his car late one night and headed straight over to Erin's apartment. When he headed up the stairs that had become so familiar to him over the years, he realized that it had been months since he'd been here. Shaking his head, he made the final steps to her apartment. He knocked twice and waited for her to answer the door, but no one came. He tried a couple more times but still no response. With no other option left, Voight took out the key he had to her place for emergency purposes. They both had one for the other's house and now was as good of a time as ever to use it as far as he was concerned. Walking in the door was like walking through a door back in time. The place wreaked of booze, smelt like a window hadn't been open in forever and he immediately was brought back to the living conditions he had found Erin in many years ago. Voight kept going further into her place and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't. Empty bottles were scattered around the floor going all the way from her kitchen to the bedroom. Dishes and take out containers were piled up by the sink and clothes littered the ground. The one saving grace in his mind was that he didn't see any evidence of drugs in her apartment, so at least she hadn't sunk that far yet. With no Erin anywhere in sight Voight got to work. He cleaned the living room and restored the kitchen back to the shape it should be in, then vacuumed and wiped down all the counter tops. After doing so he looked at his watch, it was past 3 AM and she was supposed to be at work early in the morning. The Erin that he knew would not stay out all night and wouldn't have kept her apartment in the state he found it in. It made him angry that he had let it go this far without checking up on her and made him even more concerned about why she was acting like this. Somewhere in the midst of his mind racing he sat down on her couch and eventually nodded off, only to be woken up about an hour later by the sound of Erin's apartment door opening.
Voight could tell immediately that she was wasted out of her mind. After all, he had dealt with her plenty of times in the past to know that glazed look in her eye. He sat patiently while she took her shoes off and wandered in to the kitchen still failing to realize that Voight was there, let alone that her place had magically become clean while she was out. After grabbing a piece of leftover pizza from the fridge she reached for the half empty bottle of Vodka sitting on the counter.
"Really?" Voight said, "you don't think you've had enough for tonight?" Shockingly, she didn't even seem startled by his voice and just glanced over her shoulder enough to acknowledge his presence and continued to pour herself a shot.
"Erin. Look at me," he continued, "What are you doing to yourself? What's wrong?" But she still didn't answer. She stumbled around the kitchen making a mess as Hank approached her. He again asked her what was wrong and again received no answer. She then dropped a glass on the ground and as it shattered she mumbled something that was so slurred Voight wasn't even sure it was English. He realized he was going to get no where with her tonight, and instead opted to talk to her in the morning. After a bit of a struggle he got her to lay down in bed and went to go turn off the light. As he was doing so she mumbled something again. Voight stopped walking and attempted to hear was she was saying.
"Iss you're fault anyway.." Are the words he heard, and he started walking away again assuming she was having a dream about whoever it was that was making her feel this crappy. So he walkout out, shut the door, and set up camp on the couch for the remaining 3 hours of sleep he would get before having to be back at the district in the morning.
The next morning Erin woke up to a beam of light shining through her curtains and throbbing headache. Slowly becoming aware of her surroundings she realized she was in her bed, clothes from last night still on, and not remotely sure how she got back to her apartment. Sighing, she got out of bed quickly got ready for work, and ventured out of her room in search of either a cup of coffee or a garbage can to throw up in, she wasn't sure which one. But after wandering out into her living room she realized she wasn't alone, and Hank was sitting on her couch with a cup of coffee and newspaper in hand. Seeing Erin, he put both down and waited for her to talk.
"How long you been here?" She asked.
"Long enough to know that you've apparently decided to become the type of person to come home at 4 AM drunk and live like shit day in and day out." It was then that Erin noticed her place had been cleaned and the empty bottles and food containers that had been around for weeks were no longer around. She gave Voight no response, and instead made her way to the coffee pot and poured herself some into a travel mug. He then tried a different approach,
"Erin, talk to me, what's going on? This isn't you." She continued moving about the apartment as she answered,
"Nothing. I'm fine. Just a late night last night." He went to say more before she interrupted him saying, "I've gotta go. I'll see you at the district in a little bit." And walked out the door.
Hank stood there left completely wordless. He hadn't seen her this closed off in such a long time and it scared him to the core.
