'Dear Arthur,
It's been so long now since you left me. Camelot has fallen and new kingdoms have taken its place. The world has changed so much, and I wish you were here to see it. I want you to know that Gwen ruled Camelot well; she made the kingdom a fair and happy place. But no one could deny her sorrow of losing you. It was like someone had taken her light away. I only saw it replaced when your son was born. He was beautiful Arthur, he looked so similar to you, and it pained me to look at him. He grew into a great man, and king. Although I suppose you already know that. Are they there with you Arthur? Is Gwen sitting by your side? Is Gaius there? The knights, Leon, Gwain, Percival, Lance?
Losing you all pained me more than you can imagine Arthur. As each passed, I felt they took a bit of my soul with them. I have never felt quite the same.
After you left, the great dragon told me you would return one day, when Albion's need was greatest. And I believed him, Arthur. I waited for you. Every day, every hour I hoped you would return.
There have been wars Arthur, terrible, terrible wars. They have left images tattooed onto my mind that I'm sure will never fade. And during each I thought that you had to return. But you never did.
Why didn't you return Arthur?
Maybe you didn't want to, for what reason do you really have? Everyone you cared about is with you now. Albion is gone. There is no kingdom for you to rule.
I've lived too long Arthur. Far too long. I've lost everything that defined me.
The magic in this world is fading, I can feel it. But I'm not growing older, I'm frozen, Arthur, externally suck in the moment when you left me. A relic of an age long past. I have forgotten what it is to be happy. I have forgotten a lot of things. Memories which were once as sharp as glass have faded and blurred. No longer can I recall the sound of your laugh, or what you look like. Despite that, I still feel the rawness of your passing as if it were yesterday.
And that is why I ask you Arthur, to forgive me for what I am about to do. You do not know the pain I feel, and I hope you never do. And if the great dragon was right, and you do return one day, I beg that you remember me fondly, and do not despise me for leaving you alone in a strange world.
I hope that you forgive me. For I know I will not meet you in the next world. I have done evil in my life, evil that cannot be forgiven. I will not be granted the honour of resting with the kind, and noble.
I'm just so tired, Arthur. Tired of feeling, and thinking, and living. I am reaching my last moments, and I apologize for the scarlet drops staining the page. But I had to write to you Arthur, I had to explain to someone why I am doing this.
Tell everyone that I miss them.
And that I am sorry.
Merlin.
