A/N In a few hours I will update the whole Words of desire and even if I know that in hiatus there aren't as many fics to write but the muses refuse to leave me alone.

Also: Is there anyone who watched the season finale of the librarians? Because the look and the lines of Cassandra to Eve MEANT FUCKING SOMETHING AND YOU WON'T TELL ME OTHERWISE.

Disclaimer: I don't own them

Stolen pictures

"Annoying, bothersome, nuisance,

That's what you were, how I saw you, another bug in my boot, another rock in my path. For the very first moment I laid my eyes on you I felt that you were there to destroy what I had created in a ridiculous amount of years.

I don't know what part of you made me saw that, I don't know what made me tremble because you were the epitome of normalcy, you weren't magical, you weren't powerful, you weren't special. Not at that point of time.

You were the birthmother of my child and there are a lot of things that I could have done to you, so many things that I could have started without magic at my side to make you disappear.

But I didn't and I guess that's what made me insanely mad at you, because you were the bug in my boot that I didn't dare to crush.

Then everything changed and the words that described you morphed as well.

Risk, Danger, Peril

You were the reason, the blind spot of my plan, plan that I conjured in another time, in another place. You were the name that I didn't dare to use; you were the woman that made me want to forget.

Your mere presence symbolized my doom and I still couldn't hate you enough to kill you. Scare you? Yes. Make you suffer? Yes, but the concept of seeing your body laying lifeless before me made me nauseous.

I still don't know exactly why. It wasn't because of Henry, it wasn't because of what Gold may or may not had told me. It wasn't because you were the savior. The thing that makes you especial, that made you especial enough was that you were only Emma, only a woman, a woman that had the enough power to destroy and comb the reality in which I had reign solitarily for the last 28 years.

The magic came and everything started again, new names, new conceptions about you.

Loyal, Stupid, Honorable

You could have killed me and you even would have been seen as a saint but you didn't because you saw a part of me that I really haven't seen inside of me for a really long time. You brought back that woman, the woman I once was, the woman that I could have been, you brought her back little by little with your trust in what I could be, something that even your mother couldn't see anymore.

And you were stupid because you couldn't possibly think that I was really trustworthy, you couldn't be that silly, you couldn't really trust me.

But you did, and maybe that was the reason behind my desperate intent of saving both you and Snow. Not only because of Henry but because you had believed in me and I needed someone who really thought that I wasn't only a title, only a name to be whispered in the shadows as children cried.

You weren't only a woman anymore, you weren't only a nuisance anymore and as adjective after adjective you changed my vision of you, you kept changing the world around me, the world in which I was comfortable with.

But I was charged with Archie's death and you couldn't believe me anymore and then the words that had meant something to me started to cut my skin and mind with something very similar to rage.

Stupid, foolish, biased.

That's what I kept thinking, that's what I wrote inside of me as many times I could because the idea that I had lost the only person that seemed to believe that I was Regina, the woman, the girl, the person that I could have been, destroyed me.

And so, the prophecy came to life because you really destroyed what I have created, what others created, what they turned me to be.

I still saw you as something that I needed to hate but I still couldn't hate you enough, you tricked my mind, you made me fall and the only thing I could think off was that I was intrigued of how you could have so much potential.

After the electricity that Greg put in my veins I felt not destroyed but stripped down of my dignity, I felt naked, violated, I felt fear, real fear, not because the possibility of dying but because the pain brought me another type of pain, the pain in which I didn't want to think about it because it brought me not the girl that I was, but the girl that changed because of her mother, of her mentor, of her King.

And so, when I wake up and you were there and I saw that you really couldn't see me die, I realized that you really couldn't see me as a mass murderer, that you could really see and forgive, not forget, but hand me the possibility of another story.

And in Neverland the words changed again.

Your words, the words that I have written once and again as you and I morphed to one threat to another are the story that didn't came with a book of its own. That's why I wished for your happy ending, that's why I desired for new memories, that's why I needed to see both of you out of town. Because your story is not a book, you never really were a savior, a perfect concept of a princess.

You were only Emma and as words after words you rewrote what I kept thinking about you and you made me realize that I wasn't a book either. I wasn't only words, or titles, or letters or stories. I was more than that.

Thank you, for making me see this, for making me love you, for making me desire to be free instead of being kept in the dark."

I fold the letter and I place it in its place, my tears still falling down my face as a distant thunder makes me smile softly between my half-hidden sobs.

Every time I came here there is a rainstorm, every time I end the letters a thunder can be heard.

And as I turn back and the first drops start to fall I felt her presence, just like every other time.

Brave, Courageous, Lovable, Incredible….

Dead