Understanding
Summary: This is the sequel to "Knowledge".
Other stuff: This is finally the end of this series,
which was not how I envisaged it. Free, free at
last!
Understanding
Fox Mulder looked at the latest case files, and
wondered where the last few months had gone. He
was the agent in charge of the X-Files, with four
agents reporting to him. He had to admit that
Dana Scully had done a great job in her initial
selections, and the four that he'd eventually
selected were four of the six that Scully had felt
would work well with him.
Scully.
At least now he could think of her without beating
himself up too much. He leant back in his chair,
and thought back over the months since he'd last
seen the great love of his life.
#
Mulder had stormed into AD Walter Skinner's office
on Friday morning, determined to not let Scully
resign. Half an hour later, he wandered out of his
AD's office in a daze. Skinner had let him vent for
all of sixty seconds, then had told Mulder to sit
down, shut up, and listen for once in his life.
Skinner then proceeded to tell Mulder exactly
where Dana Scully was coming from, and how
badly he had screwed her over for the last six
years, but more particularly over the last year or
so, since the return of Diana Fowley. He also
pulled no punches over Mulder's behaviour of the
last few days. Finally, Skinner looked at Mulder,
and said, "You are now on one month's vacation. I
suggest that you use the time wisely. Get to know
your sister again, and don't waste your time
looking for Scully. When she's ready, she'll be
found."
So, Fox Mulder took his sister on vacation. They
visited all of their childhood haunts, including the
various family homes, and created new and
positive memories to exorcise the ghosts of the
past. They spent time with their mother, and for
the first time in years, Mulder felt good about his
family. Samantha had spent a lot of their time
together telling Mulder of how much good their
father had done behind the scenes, and one by
one, Sam was helping Fox to lay his demons to
rest.
Sam had also helped Fox to see that his treatment
of Dana Scully was unacceptable as well as unfair,
particularly given that he claimed to love her.
Gradually, in that month of vacation, Fox Mulder
was able to throw off many of the demons that
had plagued him for years. He had his sister's
forgiveness, not that she felt it was necessary, for
not finding her sooner. He finally felt that he had
his mother's full and complete love, and he felt a
closeness to his father that had been absent since
his childhood.
Mulder was finally growing up, making the
transition from a scared twelve year old boy to a
mature, more emotionally healthy man.
All that was required to complete this transition
was for the love of his life to return to him, now
that he felt emotionally secure enough to be with
her.
When he returned to DC after his month away, the
first place he went was the Gunmens. He spent
some time with them, going over the past, and
apologising to them for his arrogance. Mulder also
gave them a thick envelope, and asked that they
send it to Scully for him.
He was thrilled to get a letter back. Dana
expressed her forgiveness, but indicated that she
still needed time.
She also explained to him how much she loved
him, and that the hurt he caused ran just as
deeply. 'Just give me time, please.' was her closing
comment, so Mulder decided to abide by her
wishes: at least for the time being.
#
The last six months had flown by for Dana Scully.
She had driven to Providence, and, with the
Gunmens' help, had found a small but cosy house
to live in. She was happy with the location: close
to the river, and only about fifteen minutes' drive
from Brown. To be able to work as a physics
professor, she'd had to furiously relearn a lot, but
she was pleasantly surprised to find that she more
than held her own with her students. The only
time she'd felt off-balance was when one of her
students asked her if she believed in the existence
of extra-terrestrials. She had taken a deep breath,
and had given the boy the same answer she'd given
Mulder all those years ago.
Dana filled her life with study, exercise, and
cooking. Some of her students had been privileged
to share dinner with Professor Croften, and those
lucky few came away from the experience
mesmerised by her easy wit and the obvious care
that she felt for her students.
When the ghostly images had begun to appear
around campus, she had immediately thought of
Mulder, and done some investigating of her own.
She had confronted one of the boys, having felt
that he was the one behind it. When he denied
everything, she simply shrugged, and forgot about
it. Then suddenly, two weeks later, she heard the
voice she'd only heard in her dreams, and she
knew that her time away from Mulder was over.
###
David Akermanis entered the office carrying a case
file that had been sent down by AD Skinner, and
he handed it to Mulder. As Mulder read it, a slow
smile spread across his face, and he said to
Akermanis, "Have you ever been to Providence?"
###
The case had been a hoax, albeit a well-crafted
one. A group of college students at Brown in
Providence had been able to rig some holographic
projectors to produce ghostly images. Along with
an appropriate soundtrack, the students had
managed to convince some of the faculty that
parts of the campus were haunted. The Physics
Department, however, were unconvinced. In fact,
one of the physics professors had even gone up to
one of the miscreants, and suggested that they
find a better use of their time and the physics
department's resources.
He had laughed in Professor Lara Croften's face,
and denied any involvement.
But when faced with two FBI agents, and the
threat of loss of credits, the group of students
quickly capitulated. The 'borrowed' equipment was
returned, and the hoax was consigned to the prank
pages of the campus newspaper.
For his part, Mulder thought it might be instructive
for him to meet Professor Croften, and ask her
how she knew it was a hoax. When he asked for
her office address, he was told to go to the
observatory that evening, as it was her class's turn
at the telescopes.
So, at 7 PM, Fox Mulder made his way to the Ladd
Observatory. As he walked in, he heard a student
ask, "Why do I need to find the co-ordinates of the
stars manually? Isn't that why we have the
computers?" The answer was given in a voice that
he hadn't heard in six months, except in his
dreams.
"When we're in the field, we might not have
laptops with us to guide us to the right part of the
sky," Professor Lara Croften said. "If you can find a
star's co-ordinates the old-fashioned way, you
won't notice the lack of computing power. Okay?"
The only response was a grunt. She looked around
at her class, and continued giving instructions.
Then she heard a voice that she knew better than
her own ask, "Is this seat taken?"
She turned slowly, to see Special Agent Fox Mulder
approaching her. She gave a small grin, and
answered, "No, but I'm experiencing a serious case
of deja vu."
"Fox Mulder, FBI. Are you Professor Croften?"
She gave a sigh of relief at Mulder not blowing her
cover. "Yes. Is there something I can do to assist
the FBI, Agent Mulder?"
It was now Mulder's turn to sigh in relief, as his
Scully hadn't turned away from him. "Yes, there is.
I'd just like to ask you a few questions about the
campus ghosts." As he spoke, he indicated that she
should come outside with him. She nodded, gave
her class a few more instructions, then the two of
them exited the building.
They walked down the footpath, away from the
observatory and into a small wooded area. There
were several benches, and Mulder suggested that
they sit for a while.
After an initial period of awkwardness, the
conversational flood gates opened, and the two of
them talked, and kept on talking. They would have
talked all night, had one of Dana's students not
come looking for her. She looked at Mulder
longingly, and asked where he was staying. Once
she had his answer, she checked that his cell
number hadn't changed, and she promised to call
him in the morning. With a final wave, she turned
and went back to the observatory.
It was only as Mulder was walking back to his car
that he realised that each time the conversation
had turned to topics concerning Dana, she had
given a very brief, very uninformative answer, and
asked him a question about Sam, the X-Files, the
Gunmen, or anything else that she knew would
distract Mulder. As he thought about it, he saw
that Dana's evasiveness had little to do with her
being discovered, and everything to do with her
guarding herself more than ever.
He pulled his cell phone out and made two calls.
The first was to Agent Akermanis, telling him to go
back to DC and get started on the reports. The
second was to the gunmen.
"Byers, it's me. I need your help. . ."
###
Lara Croften, also known as Dana Scully, made her
way to her front door. It was five am, and she and
her class had just finished with their observatory
time. She was looking forward to a quick shower
and several hours in bed, but as she opened her
front door, Dana knew that she could kiss that idea
goodbye.
"Hey Scully, long night?" came the cheery voice of
Fox Mulder.
'Oh, joy,' she thought, before asking, "The Gunmen
give you my address?" At Mulder's nod, she said,
"Well, make yourself at home. I'm going to bed."
She made her way to the hallway, and was halfway
to her bedroom when she heard Mulder say, "Not
so fast, Scully. We need to talk."
She turned slowly, and looked at him.
"This is not the time to have the kind of talk that
we need, Mulder. I'm tired, and I need to sleep."
Mulder shook his head. "We need to sort things out between us, Scully," he
began, but Dana cut him off.
"And there I was thinking you'd changed. I've kept
in touch with Skinner, the guys, and Sam, and all
of them have gone to great lengths to tell me how
you've let go of the past, or what a great mentor
you've become for the younger agents. But when it
comes to me," and she took a deep breath before
continuing, "You act exactly how you always have.
We have to talk because it's what YOU want. It
doesn't matter to you that I've been out all night
working. No, Fox Mulder wants to talk, and
because he wants to talk to good old Scully, it
MUST happen." She turned from him and started
pacing around her living room. Mulder had taken a
seat on the sofa, and was stunned into silence by
Dana's words.
She continued venting as she paced. "Nothing I did
was ever good enough for you. If it was, you
wouldn't have ditched me, or belittled my
science." She turned back to him, and her gaze
nearly skewered him with its power. "And if you
loved me, truly loved me, I wouldn't have felt that
I came in a distant second in your life to just about
anything else. You certainly wouldn't have gone
after Fowley whenever she beckoned."
Mulder finally shook himself out of his daze, and
was just about to open his mouth when Dana cut
him off again. "Can you remember what you said
to me in the office that last time?" He shook his
head, and she laughed bitterly before answering
her own question. "You said, 'I hate you for what
you've done'. Then, you told me to get out and not
come back." She started pacing again as she said,
"Some photographic memory you've got."
"Scully, you've got it all,"
"Wrong. I've heard that one before, too, and that
won't work anymore."
"I was angry at you!"
"And did I get angry with you when you didn't sell
your soul to Cancerman for a cure for me?" Mulder
closed his mouth with an audible snap, and Dana
continued on. "Can you say 'hypocrite', Mulder? It's
always been this way. You can do what you want,
and give out as much or as little information as
you want, but I have to be the loyal footsoldier,
ready to do your bidding at a moment's notice, and
without sufficient information to be properly
prepared." She walked over to her front door, and
held it open. "I've changed my mind. I'd like you to
leave, now."
Mulder remained seated on the sofa, challenging
her resolve. Rather than argue, Dana simply
reached behind the door and picked up her bag
and keys, and left. Mulder ran after her, and
grabbed her before she'd made it halfway down
the path. He turned her towards him, leant down
and kissed her thoroughly and deeply. When he
released her, he smiled down at her dreamily, and
was startled to see tears in her eyes. "Scully? Did I
hurt you?" he asked in concern.
Dana started backing away from, down the path
towards the street. The tears pooled in her eyes,
and she shakily replied to his question. "What do
you think, Mulder? You come here, break into my
home, refuse to listen to my requests, then try to
get me to stay by kissing me? How can I trust what
you say to me? You say you love me, but you won't
listen to me." She kept backing up until she
reached her car. "A relationship between us would
never work, Mulder."
He started to walk towards her, but stopped when
she opened her car door. "Of course a relationship
between us would work, Scully. We know what bad
parts to avoid. Please, Scully. Talk to me."
Dana seemed not to hear him as she went on. "You
know why it won't work? Because it would always
be about you and what you want. It wouldn't be
about us, and it would never be about me, and
once again, I'd be second-best." The tears started
to choke her voice, and she opened her car door as
Mulder started moving a little faster down the
path. "I need to come first in a man's life, and you
just don't want that with me. Goodbye, Mulder,"
she said as she got into her car, started the engine
and accelerated away from him. He ran to his car,
and started to follow her, but she knew how to
shake a tail, and he soon lost her.
Mulder drove back to Scully's address, planning on
waiting until she got tired of driving around and
came back home. He had just settled himself on
the couch when his cell buzzed. "Scully?" he asked.
"It's me, Mulder," said Melvin Frohike, and Mulder's
hopes fell a little. As Frohike continued to talk, his
heart dropped as well. "Dana just called me. She's
not going to be coming back to the house. She
found out that Byers told you her address, and she
refuses to speak to him now. What exactly did you
do?"
He gave his friend a summary of that morning's
events, and as he did, he realised what an ass he'd
been. Unbidden, Sam's words came back to him: "If
you really loved Dana, then you'd treat her with
respect, at the very least." He shook himself as he
realised that Frohike was shouting at him through
the phone. "Sorry about that, Fro. So, Scully's not
coming back here?" Frohike responded in the
negative, and Mulder asked if he could trace her
movements. He was surprised at his friend's
response.
"No freakin' way, man! Scully tore Byers a new
bodily orifice, and she made me promise that I
wouldn't betray her again. You'll just have to be
patient." The older man paused for a while, and
added, "She's scary when she's mad, huh?"
"She certainly is," Mulder replied. "She certainly
is.'" He thought for a while, and said goodbye to
his friend. He stood, walked to the door, and
exited Dana Scully's house. It was time for him to
return to DC, and salvage what he could from this
mess of his own making.
###
It had been another long, dreary day of paperwork
hell at the office, and Fox Mulder was simply glad
to be home. He was trying not to be concerned at
Scully's disappearance three weeks earlier.
Juggling his keys, a pizza box, and several files
containing prospective case, he managed to open
the door without dropping anything. He threw his
keys on the stand by the door and switched the
lights on. To say he was surprised was an
understatement.
Dana Scully was sitting on his leather couch,
reading a book.
The first thing that crossed his mind was, 'Wow,
Scully's back and sitting on my couch.' The second
was, 'She's back where she belongs.' He cleared his
throat, and she looked up at him. "So, Scully, did
you get lost on your way home or something?" He
could have kicked himself when he realised just
how patronising that sounded, and opened his
mouth to try to dig himself out of the gaping hole
he had managed to dig when she started to talk.
"Actually, Mulder, I got back three days ago. I've
seen Skinner about resuming my career with the
Bureau, and I've patched up things with Byers.
Now, all that remains is for us to decide what
we're going to do."
Mulder was nonplussed at Scully's matter-of-fact
recitation of what had happened. He opened and
closed his mouth several times before he was
finally able to form the words. "But you said that
we wouldn't work."
Dana sighed as she nodded her agreement. "Yes,
Mulder, that is exactly what I said. However, in my
seventeen day road trip around beautiful New
England, I came to several realisations. Are you
interested in what they are?"
By this time, Mulder had moved over to the couch
and sat down next to her. Pizza and files
forgotten, he swallowed and nodded in response.
She smiled softly, and grew serious again. "Before I
tell you, I need you to answer a few questions for
me. Are you willing to do that?" Mulder nodded
again, and waited for the questions, even though
he was fairly sure about what they were.
"Okay. All of my questions have yes or no answers.
First, do you love me?"
Without hesitation, the answer came, "Yes."
"Are you in love with me?"
Again, no hesitation. "Yes."
"This is the tough one. Are you willing to meet me
half-way?"
Mulder hesitated for only a second before
answering with another "Yes."
Scully closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. As
she exhaled, she opened her eyes to see Mulder
almost begging her with his eyes to put him out of
his misery. She smiled again, and took his hand.
"As I was driving around, I analysed why I was so
angry about what had happened. The answer I
came up with was I felt that you didn't respect me.
Then as I calmed down, I started thinking about
why I love you, and it struck me that I fell in love
with you, even though I knew you had a steamer
trunk full of issues from your past. And even with
all those issues, Mulder, I fell in love with you
anyway."
Mulder sat back on his couch, and pulled her to
him. She felt her hair grow damp with his tears,
and knew that she had to finish what she'd started,
or he would be consumed by guilt. She leant back,
enough to see his face. She wiped away his tears
with gentle fingers, and he leant into her hand.
"I'm so sorry for hurting you, Mulder; for leaving
the way I did in Providence. And if you don't want
to pursue a relationship with me, then I'll leave."
He could no longer keep silent. "NO, Scully. Now
that I have you back, I'm never letting you go. I'm
the one who should be apologising, not you. I love
you, and I want us to be together. Just don't go."
And he started to sob in earnest.
Dana took him into her arms, stroking his back and
head with soft strokes. "I'm not going anywhere,
Mulder." She continued murmuring endearments as
she soothed him. Finally, the sobbing slowed to
hiccuping, and he raised his tear-stained face to
her, only to find similar tear stains on her
beautiful face. He looked at her, and she said
again, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay,
with you."
AN: this started out as a one-shot. Funny how things ended up!
