Understanding

Summary: This is the sequel to "Knowledge".

Other stuff: This is finally the end of this series,

which was not how I envisaged it. Free, free at

last!


Understanding

Fox Mulder looked at the latest case files, and

wondered where the last few months had gone. He

was the agent in charge of the X-Files, with four

agents reporting to him. He had to admit that

Dana Scully had done a great job in her initial

selections, and the four that he'd eventually

selected were four of the six that Scully had felt

would work well with him.

Scully.

At least now he could think of her without beating

himself up too much. He leant back in his chair,

and thought back over the months since he'd last

seen the great love of his life.

#

Mulder had stormed into AD Walter Skinner's office

on Friday morning, determined to not let Scully

resign. Half an hour later, he wandered out of his

AD's office in a daze. Skinner had let him vent for

all of sixty seconds, then had told Mulder to sit

down, shut up, and listen for once in his life.

Skinner then proceeded to tell Mulder exactly

where Dana Scully was coming from, and how

badly he had screwed her over for the last six

years, but more particularly over the last year or

so, since the return of Diana Fowley. He also

pulled no punches over Mulder's behaviour of the

last few days. Finally, Skinner looked at Mulder,

and said, "You are now on one month's vacation. I

suggest that you use the time wisely. Get to know

your sister again, and don't waste your time

looking for Scully. When she's ready, she'll be

found."

So, Fox Mulder took his sister on vacation. They

visited all of their childhood haunts, including the

various family homes, and created new and

positive memories to exorcise the ghosts of the

past. They spent time with their mother, and for

the first time in years, Mulder felt good about his

family. Samantha had spent a lot of their time

together telling Mulder of how much good their

father had done behind the scenes, and one by

one, Sam was helping Fox to lay his demons to

rest.

Sam had also helped Fox to see that his treatment

of Dana Scully was unacceptable as well as unfair,

particularly given that he claimed to love her.

Gradually, in that month of vacation, Fox Mulder

was able to throw off many of the demons that

had plagued him for years. He had his sister's

forgiveness, not that she felt it was necessary, for

not finding her sooner. He finally felt that he had

his mother's full and complete love, and he felt a

closeness to his father that had been absent since

his childhood.

Mulder was finally growing up, making the

transition from a scared twelve year old boy to a

mature, more emotionally healthy man.

All that was required to complete this transition

was for the love of his life to return to him, now

that he felt emotionally secure enough to be with

her.

When he returned to DC after his month away, the

first place he went was the Gunmens. He spent

some time with them, going over the past, and

apologising to them for his arrogance. Mulder also

gave them a thick envelope, and asked that they

send it to Scully for him.

He was thrilled to get a letter back. Dana

expressed her forgiveness, but indicated that she

still needed time.

She also explained to him how much she loved

him, and that the hurt he caused ran just as

deeply. 'Just give me time, please.' was her closing

comment, so Mulder decided to abide by her

wishes: at least for the time being.

#

The last six months had flown by for Dana Scully.

She had driven to Providence, and, with the

Gunmens' help, had found a small but cosy house

to live in. She was happy with the location: close

to the river, and only about fifteen minutes' drive

from Brown. To be able to work as a physics

professor, she'd had to furiously relearn a lot, but

she was pleasantly surprised to find that she more

than held her own with her students. The only

time she'd felt off-balance was when one of her

students asked her if she believed in the existence

of extra-terrestrials. She had taken a deep breath,

and had given the boy the same answer she'd given

Mulder all those years ago.

Dana filled her life with study, exercise, and

cooking. Some of her students had been privileged

to share dinner with Professor Croften, and those

lucky few came away from the experience

mesmerised by her easy wit and the obvious care

that she felt for her students.

When the ghostly images had begun to appear

around campus, she had immediately thought of

Mulder, and done some investigating of her own.

She had confronted one of the boys, having felt

that he was the one behind it. When he denied

everything, she simply shrugged, and forgot about

it. Then suddenly, two weeks later, she heard the

voice she'd only heard in her dreams, and she

knew that her time away from Mulder was over.

###

David Akermanis entered the office carrying a case

file that had been sent down by AD Skinner, and

he handed it to Mulder. As Mulder read it, a slow

smile spread across his face, and he said to

Akermanis, "Have you ever been to Providence?"

###

The case had been a hoax, albeit a well-crafted

one. A group of college students at Brown in

Providence had been able to rig some holographic

projectors to produce ghostly images. Along with

an appropriate soundtrack, the students had

managed to convince some of the faculty that

parts of the campus were haunted. The Physics

Department, however, were unconvinced. In fact,

one of the physics professors had even gone up to

one of the miscreants, and suggested that they

find a better use of their time and the physics

department's resources.

He had laughed in Professor Lara Croften's face,

and denied any involvement.

But when faced with two FBI agents, and the

threat of loss of credits, the group of students

quickly capitulated. The 'borrowed' equipment was

returned, and the hoax was consigned to the prank

pages of the campus newspaper.

For his part, Mulder thought it might be instructive

for him to meet Professor Croften, and ask her

how she knew it was a hoax. When he asked for

her office address, he was told to go to the

observatory that evening, as it was her class's turn

at the telescopes.

So, at 7 PM, Fox Mulder made his way to the Ladd

Observatory. As he walked in, he heard a student

ask, "Why do I need to find the co-ordinates of the

stars manually? Isn't that why we have the

computers?" The answer was given in a voice that

he hadn't heard in six months, except in his

dreams.

"When we're in the field, we might not have

laptops with us to guide us to the right part of the

sky," Professor Lara Croften said. "If you can find a

star's co-ordinates the old-fashioned way, you

won't notice the lack of computing power. Okay?"

The only response was a grunt. She looked around

at her class, and continued giving instructions.

Then she heard a voice that she knew better than

her own ask, "Is this seat taken?"

She turned slowly, to see Special Agent Fox Mulder

approaching her. She gave a small grin, and

answered, "No, but I'm experiencing a serious case

of deja vu."

"Fox Mulder, FBI. Are you Professor Croften?"

She gave a sigh of relief at Mulder not blowing her

cover. "Yes. Is there something I can do to assist

the FBI, Agent Mulder?"

It was now Mulder's turn to sigh in relief, as his

Scully hadn't turned away from him. "Yes, there is.

I'd just like to ask you a few questions about the

campus ghosts." As he spoke, he indicated that she

should come outside with him. She nodded, gave

her class a few more instructions, then the two of

them exited the building.

They walked down the footpath, away from the

observatory and into a small wooded area. There

were several benches, and Mulder suggested that

they sit for a while.

After an initial period of awkwardness, the

conversational flood gates opened, and the two of

them talked, and kept on talking. They would have

talked all night, had one of Dana's students not

come looking for her. She looked at Mulder

longingly, and asked where he was staying. Once

she had his answer, she checked that his cell

number hadn't changed, and she promised to call

him in the morning. With a final wave, she turned

and went back to the observatory.

It was only as Mulder was walking back to his car

that he realised that each time the conversation

had turned to topics concerning Dana, she had

given a very brief, very uninformative answer, and

asked him a question about Sam, the X-Files, the

Gunmen, or anything else that she knew would

distract Mulder. As he thought about it, he saw

that Dana's evasiveness had little to do with her

being discovered, and everything to do with her

guarding herself more than ever.

He pulled his cell phone out and made two calls.

The first was to Agent Akermanis, telling him to go

back to DC and get started on the reports. The

second was to the gunmen.

"Byers, it's me. I need your help. . ."

###

Lara Croften, also known as Dana Scully, made her

way to her front door. It was five am, and she and

her class had just finished with their observatory

time. She was looking forward to a quick shower

and several hours in bed, but as she opened her

front door, Dana knew that she could kiss that idea

goodbye.

"Hey Scully, long night?" came the cheery voice of

Fox Mulder.

'Oh, joy,' she thought, before asking, "The Gunmen

give you my address?" At Mulder's nod, she said,

"Well, make yourself at home. I'm going to bed."

She made her way to the hallway, and was halfway

to her bedroom when she heard Mulder say, "Not

so fast, Scully. We need to talk."

She turned slowly, and looked at him.

"This is not the time to have the kind of talk that

we need, Mulder. I'm tired, and I need to sleep."

Mulder shook his head. "We need to sort things out between us, Scully," he

began, but Dana cut him off.

"And there I was thinking you'd changed. I've kept

in touch with Skinner, the guys, and Sam, and all

of them have gone to great lengths to tell me how

you've let go of the past, or what a great mentor

you've become for the younger agents. But when it

comes to me," and she took a deep breath before

continuing, "You act exactly how you always have.

We have to talk because it's what YOU want. It

doesn't matter to you that I've been out all night

working. No, Fox Mulder wants to talk, and

because he wants to talk to good old Scully, it

MUST happen." She turned from him and started

pacing around her living room. Mulder had taken a

seat on the sofa, and was stunned into silence by

Dana's words.

She continued venting as she paced. "Nothing I did

was ever good enough for you. If it was, you

wouldn't have ditched me, or belittled my

science." She turned back to him, and her gaze

nearly skewered him with its power. "And if you

loved me, truly loved me, I wouldn't have felt that

I came in a distant second in your life to just about

anything else. You certainly wouldn't have gone

after Fowley whenever she beckoned."

Mulder finally shook himself out of his daze, and

was just about to open his mouth when Dana cut

him off again. "Can you remember what you said

to me in the office that last time?" He shook his

head, and she laughed bitterly before answering

her own question. "You said, 'I hate you for what

you've done'. Then, you told me to get out and not

come back." She started pacing again as she said,

"Some photographic memory you've got."

"Scully, you've got it all,"

"Wrong. I've heard that one before, too, and that

won't work anymore."

"I was angry at you!"

"And did I get angry with you when you didn't sell

your soul to Cancerman for a cure for me?" Mulder

closed his mouth with an audible snap, and Dana

continued on. "Can you say 'hypocrite', Mulder? It's

always been this way. You can do what you want,

and give out as much or as little information as

you want, but I have to be the loyal footsoldier,

ready to do your bidding at a moment's notice, and

without sufficient information to be properly

prepared." She walked over to her front door, and

held it open. "I've changed my mind. I'd like you to

leave, now."

Mulder remained seated on the sofa, challenging

her resolve. Rather than argue, Dana simply

reached behind the door and picked up her bag

and keys, and left. Mulder ran after her, and

grabbed her before she'd made it halfway down

the path. He turned her towards him, leant down

and kissed her thoroughly and deeply. When he

released her, he smiled down at her dreamily, and

was startled to see tears in her eyes. "Scully? Did I

hurt you?" he asked in concern.

Dana started backing away from, down the path

towards the street. The tears pooled in her eyes,

and she shakily replied to his question. "What do

you think, Mulder? You come here, break into my

home, refuse to listen to my requests, then try to

get me to stay by kissing me? How can I trust what

you say to me? You say you love me, but you won't

listen to me." She kept backing up until she

reached her car. "A relationship between us would

never work, Mulder."

He started to walk towards her, but stopped when

she opened her car door. "Of course a relationship

between us would work, Scully. We know what bad

parts to avoid. Please, Scully. Talk to me."

Dana seemed not to hear him as she went on. "You

know why it won't work? Because it would always

be about you and what you want. It wouldn't be

about us, and it would never be about me, and

once again, I'd be second-best." The tears started

to choke her voice, and she opened her car door as

Mulder started moving a little faster down the

path. "I need to come first in a man's life, and you

just don't want that with me. Goodbye, Mulder,"

she said as she got into her car, started the engine

and accelerated away from him. He ran to his car,

and started to follow her, but she knew how to

shake a tail, and he soon lost her.

Mulder drove back to Scully's address, planning on

waiting until she got tired of driving around and

came back home. He had just settled himself on

the couch when his cell buzzed. "Scully?" he asked.

"It's me, Mulder," said Melvin Frohike, and Mulder's

hopes fell a little. As Frohike continued to talk, his

heart dropped as well. "Dana just called me. She's

not going to be coming back to the house. She

found out that Byers told you her address, and she

refuses to speak to him now. What exactly did you

do?"

He gave his friend a summary of that morning's

events, and as he did, he realised what an ass he'd

been. Unbidden, Sam's words came back to him: "If

you really loved Dana, then you'd treat her with

respect, at the very least." He shook himself as he

realised that Frohike was shouting at him through

the phone. "Sorry about that, Fro. So, Scully's not

coming back here?" Frohike responded in the

negative, and Mulder asked if he could trace her

movements. He was surprised at his friend's

response.

"No freakin' way, man! Scully tore Byers a new

bodily orifice, and she made me promise that I

wouldn't betray her again. You'll just have to be

patient." The older man paused for a while, and

added, "She's scary when she's mad, huh?"

"She certainly is," Mulder replied. "She certainly

is.'" He thought for a while, and said goodbye to

his friend. He stood, walked to the door, and

exited Dana Scully's house. It was time for him to

return to DC, and salvage what he could from this

mess of his own making.

###

It had been another long, dreary day of paperwork

hell at the office, and Fox Mulder was simply glad

to be home. He was trying not to be concerned at

Scully's disappearance three weeks earlier.

Juggling his keys, a pizza box, and several files

containing prospective case, he managed to open

the door without dropping anything. He threw his

keys on the stand by the door and switched the

lights on. To say he was surprised was an

understatement.

Dana Scully was sitting on his leather couch,

reading a book.

The first thing that crossed his mind was, 'Wow,

Scully's back and sitting on my couch.' The second

was, 'She's back where she belongs.' He cleared his

throat, and she looked up at him. "So, Scully, did

you get lost on your way home or something?" He

could have kicked himself when he realised just

how patronising that sounded, and opened his

mouth to try to dig himself out of the gaping hole

he had managed to dig when she started to talk.

"Actually, Mulder, I got back three days ago. I've

seen Skinner about resuming my career with the

Bureau, and I've patched up things with Byers.

Now, all that remains is for us to decide what

we're going to do."

Mulder was nonplussed at Scully's matter-of-fact

recitation of what had happened. He opened and

closed his mouth several times before he was

finally able to form the words. "But you said that

we wouldn't work."

Dana sighed as she nodded her agreement. "Yes,

Mulder, that is exactly what I said. However, in my

seventeen day road trip around beautiful New

England, I came to several realisations. Are you

interested in what they are?"

By this time, Mulder had moved over to the couch

and sat down next to her. Pizza and files

forgotten, he swallowed and nodded in response.

She smiled softly, and grew serious again. "Before I

tell you, I need you to answer a few questions for

me. Are you willing to do that?" Mulder nodded

again, and waited for the questions, even though

he was fairly sure about what they were.

"Okay. All of my questions have yes or no answers.

First, do you love me?"

Without hesitation, the answer came, "Yes."

"Are you in love with me?"

Again, no hesitation. "Yes."

"This is the tough one. Are you willing to meet me

half-way?"

Mulder hesitated for only a second before

answering with another "Yes."

Scully closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. As

she exhaled, she opened her eyes to see Mulder

almost begging her with his eyes to put him out of

his misery. She smiled again, and took his hand.

"As I was driving around, I analysed why I was so

angry about what had happened. The answer I

came up with was I felt that you didn't respect me.

Then as I calmed down, I started thinking about

why I love you, and it struck me that I fell in love

with you, even though I knew you had a steamer

trunk full of issues from your past. And even with

all those issues, Mulder, I fell in love with you

anyway."

Mulder sat back on his couch, and pulled her to

him. She felt her hair grow damp with his tears,

and knew that she had to finish what she'd started,

or he would be consumed by guilt. She leant back,

enough to see his face. She wiped away his tears

with gentle fingers, and he leant into her hand.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you, Mulder; for leaving

the way I did in Providence. And if you don't want

to pursue a relationship with me, then I'll leave."

He could no longer keep silent. "NO, Scully. Now

that I have you back, I'm never letting you go. I'm

the one who should be apologising, not you. I love

you, and I want us to be together. Just don't go."

And he started to sob in earnest.

Dana took him into her arms, stroking his back and

head with soft strokes. "I'm not going anywhere,

Mulder." She continued murmuring endearments as

she soothed him. Finally, the sobbing slowed to

hiccuping, and he raised his tear-stained face to

her, only to find similar tear stains on her

beautiful face. He looked at her, and she said

again, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay,

with you."


AN: this started out as a one-shot. Funny how things ended up!