New story? Why the fuck not!
I hated holidays. It was just another excuse for people to not work. Like there were actually any people around that still believed in religion enough to make holidays for it. Seriously, if they wanted to work less, they could just make weekends longer. I'm certainly up to the idea.
But of course, God hates my sorry ass, so holidays exist and I have to spend Christmas with the other Arcobaleno.
Now Uni is rather nice and it is not possible to hate Uni because she is so adorable. And I rather enjoy Christmas with Uni because she bakes the most wonderful cookies. But the problem exists because she invites the other Arcobaleno. Which includes Reborn. And Collonello. I shudder at the thought. Lord have mercy, those two are horrible. They're like Spartans. But ten times as worse.
I take a deep breath before knocking at the door to the little 'house'. Why the hell Aria built a villa in the middle of fucking Russia, I will never know. But hey, at least no one can find us here.
I'm almost prepared to kick the fucking door down, because it is snowing. And I am cold. Living in the middle of Italy for the past, I don't know, thirty-five years, makes you not really used to this kind of thing. I waited for a good ten seconds before loosing my shit. Which is long, considering my attention span. I gave the door a good kick, not enough to break it, but enough to make a lot of noise. "Will someone please open this fucking door? I am freezing you fuckers!"
Uni flung the door open. Oh shit. OH GOD FUCKING SHIT DAMN IT. FUCK MY LIFE. "Hi Skull!"
Lord bless her soul. She actually seemed genuinely happy to see me. "Uh you didn't hear any of that, did you?"
I can't have Uni learning bad words. Luce would kill me in the after life a thousand times over if I ever made it to heaven. She tilts her head to the side in the way only she could pull off. "Hear what?"
I muttered a prayer. Thank the Lord. I swear I'll never skip church again. I smiled. "Oh nothing. Its nice to see you after such a long time."
She giggled and gave me a hug, which I was more than happy to return. "Now, lets go inside, shall we? It's freezing."
I point my thumb inside and she nods. So I bring my bag in and shut the door behind me. Fon popped his head out of the kitchen. He smiled and gave a little nod of a greeting, before dashing back to whatever he was doing, his braid trailing behind him. I shrugged to myself. At least Fon acknowledged my existence as a human being. Moving on. I gave a quick glance around. Nothing had really changed much since last year. Though the room feels different. I stare at the wall long enough to realize someone had changed the wallpaper. I think it was green last year… well know it's like bluey purple. But the really pale kind. Lavender? Eh, don't have enough fucks to give.
I sigh and take off my coat and scarf, and leave them on the rack…thing. I usually threw my stuff on the couch, but I still didn't know if Reborn was here or not and I certainly wasn't taking that chance. I put my bag neatly next to the kitchen door way and take off my shoes. "So what are you making?"
I call out to Fon as I step in. He smiles. "I've got some dumplings getting ready, and I'm making some green tea. Want some?"
He holds a cup of devil piss in my direction, and I put my hands up. "Uh, no thanks. You know I won't ever give in to drinking that stuff."
He laughs and puts the cup down. "Had to try. Say, you go upstairs and freshen up, alright? Verde, Viper and the military dorks are also home."
I grin and pick up my bag. "Should I tell them you called them that?"
He rolls his eyes. "You wouldn't."
"Maybe I would. Just saying." I call out, dashing up the stairs. Reborn was here yet. Maybe I could hide under my bed until after he sleeps off the jet lag. He was scary when he tired. Not that he wasn't scary anyway. The carpeting on the stairs muted my feet. Was that there before? I can't remember. Not that it really mattered. I walked through the long hallway. Damn, which room was mine? I knocked on the first door to my left.
Only to have it opened by a shirtless blonde mess. Oh god. OH GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. I backed off immediately and tried to leg it, but Collonello caught me easily. I could literally hear him grin. He swung an arm around my poor thin neck and gave me a noogie. "Skull! Buddy, where you been? Kora!"
Don't let him fool you. Behind that friendly attitude is a Spartan. I dropped my bag and desperately tried to get his arm off of me. "Let go, let go, let go! You're choking me, OWWWW!"
I tried kicking him, but fuck it, he was a better assassin than I was. He laughed. "You ain't getting away that easy Skull! I haven't seen you in a year!"
The door to our right flew open, and a very, very angry woman appeared. Even Collonello froze for a moment. "Who the fuck is making so much noise?"
In the door way, stood the other military dork. Except of course, Lal was ten times more vicious than Collonello, and we were basically fucked. Though if the situation were different I would have taken a moment to appreciate her very, very short shorts. But the situation is not different and I should really stop avoiding it now.
Both Collonello and I simultaneously point our fingers at each other. Somehow, that only makes Lal even angrier. "Stand up straight!" We let go of each other and both immediately stick our arms to the sides and got into form. Lal paused for a moment, before giving Collonello a straight kick to the balls. He screamed and fell to the floor clutching his most precious part. I flinched. Then, Lal turned to me and I froze. OH GOD I'M NEXT. OH GOD WHY.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Though that didn't make it hurt any less. I yelped and clutched my poor crotch. I curled up into a ball. "Ow..."
I heard the door slam, indicating that Lal had gone back to her bitch cave. I rolled over; hands holding my poor, poor manhood; and grimaced at Collonello. He was twitching horribly. I don't think he's going to be walking anytime soon. Did she kick him harder? Maybe. Though I highly doubt Lal would show mercy to me. But hey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Whatever the fuck that meant.
I got up, slowly, and hobbled over to get my bags. Fuck this shit, I was taking the last door in the hallway, as far away from every insane person in this building, self not included. Hobbling my way over, I pushed the door handle down with my elbow. I frowned and pushed back. "Come on…"
I saw Collonello still trembling on the floor. Ouch. The door opened while I wasn't looking and I fell back. Well that was painful. "Fuck my life…" I rubbed the back of my head, and stuck my feet up, using them to push in my bags and close the doors. Too in pain to give any fucks. I stayed there for a good half hour. So it seemed that the carpeting was actually very soft. Not bad.
I sighed and forced myself up after a while. Looking around, the room wasn't actually all that bad. Though I had a feeling the good ones were already snatched. Not that I was complaining.
The color theme was a brown apparently. Dark mahogany furniture, with a beige and chocolate everything else. I didn't pay too much attention to it. But damn, I could seriously use some chocolate right now. I unpacked my bags into the closet. There were an awful lot of rooms in this place. Maybe, Uni used this place as a back up for the Giglio Nero. Whatever.
I looked at the little clock on the drawer: 2 o'clock. Something tells me that I may or may not have been out for more than thirty minutes. Whatever. I change out of my clothes. The air was cold on my skin. Seems the walls couldn't keep out the frost. I slipped into some comfortable clothes, before putting on a sweater as an after thought. Hmm, much warmer. I leave my room, locking the door behind me, and walk cautiously downstairs. Collonello had retreated back to his cave of stupidity after his humiliating defeat.
Wonder what else is new.
The first chapters are always short, haha. Review are nice, thank you very much :)
