Disclaimer: I do not own Les Miserables.
Tomorrow Comes
I kept my eyes open as the sharp cries of gunshots rang but I saw nothing other than brightness beckoning me. By that time I was already used to the piercing sounds of a bullet and the smell of gunpowder. Pain struck me on the torso and my breath hitched yet I kept my ground then another blow, then another, then another until I could no longer stand. Soreness rippled from my chest to the rest of my body, consuming what little consciousness was left inside of me. Eight bullets later, I fell into the arms of darkness and it caressed me tenderly, like a mother welcoming her prodigal son back into her home.
The barricade has fallen. And so have I.
I woke to the feeling of warmth and the sight of a clear blue sky. My skin drunk every sensation of heat as fresh air entered my lungs. My mind demanded I stand but the rest of my body lazily refused. I gathered every ounce of will I had in me and tentatively got up from the pavement. Scrutinizing my surroundings, I recognize the area instantly for I knew this place like the back of my hand, the curve of the street, the rundown houses, the line of street lamps and the café. But it was abandoned. There was no sign of people. No sounds, just silence. Where were the vendors busily selling products? Where were the women who spent afternoons chattering as they worked? Where were the children running about as they scavenged for their next meal? Where are my friends who fell with me in the barricade?
A chill shot up my spine and the impact was enough to force my foot to take a step back for support. My friends… Where are they? They died and I died too, right? Suddenly, it hit me I was dead and I brought my friends to their early deaths too. This whole thing was my fault. Quickly, I placed a hand on my chest where I was just shot multiple times moments ago. No bullet holes, there was not even any sensation of ache or pain. My white cotton shirt was pristine and my red coat was immaculate; I did not look like I just fought in a war and died. Where am I? I never imagined Heaven to look like this. In the back of my mind, I doubted this was actually Heaven.
The sound of slow footsteps caught my attention. A young woman, with short hair, strolled idly to sit on a bench. What choice did I have? Being as polite as I can, I went up to her. Up close, she was very beautiful with her pretty features and glittering eyes. It seemed that there was a sort of wistful longing and sadness about here. "Excuse me, mademoiselle."
The lady looked at me straight in the eyes then smiled. "Yes, monsieur?"
"Can you be as kind enough to tell me where am I?"
Her smile widened, as if keeping a funny secret from me. "Oh, you really don't know?" I shook my head, she asked me to sit next to her so I did so. "May I tell you something?" She sounded sweet and open but her tone said she was going to tell me anyway whether I protested or not. So, I nodded. As an effect, she straightened up and beamed.
Immediately, she began telling me about herself. "Monsieur, I worked so hard when I was alive. I started in a factory but you see, I was thrown out of the street when this other woman talked to the foreman! Then after, I went down to the docks to sell some things but then it was not enough. Doing everything I could, I sold my hair and my teeth! Still, that was not enough to suffice for expenses. It was around that time when I lost my dignity..." Her voice got forlorn and pained. While she was lost in her memories, I shifted uncomfortably on the bench, not knowing how to react to such a tragic tale. Then, the woman continued on. "I had to work hard because of my child. You should have seen her. How beautiful she was..."
The safety of my friends were still bothering me but curiosity took over my senses. Cautiously, I frowned at her use of past tense. "Is she...?"
The lady's eyebrows shot up before she relaxed again. Grinning proudly, her voice was thick with joy. "She's still alive. A good man helped us both. Bless him. I still see them but they don't see me. But... It's better that she's happier now. I rest peacefully knowing that. It makes all the pain in my life worth it."
As much as I was deeply touched by her story, something was still bothering me. "That's wonderful news, Mademoiselle. But please... where is this place? I need to know where my friends are." Unsuccessfully, I tried to hide my worry.
She regarded me with that knowing smile as she cupped my cheek. "My boy, I've seen you and your friends fight in the barricades. You're very admirable and brave. Thank you for standing up for us." With that, she stood up. Her fingers lingered on my face for a moment before she pulled away, like how my mother used to brush her fingers on my cheek when I was a boy. "To answer your question... You are in between."
Before I could ask her more questions, she walked away. Standing up and following her, I called for her. "Wait! How do I go back to the barricades? Where are my friends? Please!" Her retreating silhouette become smaller and smaller. Giving up, I stood in the middle of the place.
"What is happening?" I whispered out loud to myself. The silence was unnerving, almost deafening. I was hoping someone would pop out, laugh out loud and yell that this was just some prank.
"You've died," a soft voice replied, barely above a whisper.
I turned around in shock; I had not expected a response to my rhetorical question. A boy clothed in an over sized shirt and torn trousers peeked from the corners of the street. His face was partly hidden underneath a tattered cap. The boy slowly emerged from his hiding spot.
Once the light hit his face, I knew I was mistaken. This was no boy. Her long brown hair fell from underneath her cap. This was the same girl who followed Marius like a lost pup with those huge, wonder-filled eyes. This was the girl who died in the barricade as Marius cradled her until she slept in peace. This was the girl who gave her life to save the man who never saw her more than a friend.
"What are you doing here, Mademoiselle?" Maybe she knows what is happening. After all, she is dead too.
The girl gave a small, sad smile. "We're dead and you bother with formalities? Just call me by my name, Ep-"
"Eponine Thenardier," I continued. I noted that her mouth formed a straight line when I said her last name. "I know who you are... But why are you here? And don't give me an answer like "Because we're dead" or anything like that. You know what I mean."
Her hazel doe eyes twinkled with humor. "You like getting to the point, don't you? I thought you were smart, Enjolras? Obviously, I'm dead and now… so are you. This is where the dead goes... when they die." Chuckling at my face, which was not amused by her humor, she spoke a bit louder. "It's all quiet and creepy here. Not how you imagined it would look like, huh?"
I shook my head. "No, it is not." In my mind, I did not imagine the in between to have an eerie atmosphere. "I imagined a brighter place, not something that came from a mystery novel."
Apparently, she found this rather funny as she chuckled. On the contrary, I failed to see any amusement in the situation. I asked her, "Where do I go from here? Do you know?"
Smirking, she put her index finger to her lips. "It's a secret."
My patience with this woman was wearing thin. I do not appreciate it when people do not take me seriously, especially when lives were at stake. Turning my back on her laughing by herself, I left her so I can scan for an exit out of this nightmare. Shaking my head from the frustration, there has to be a way to my friends or back to the barricade. I had bigger problems and I do not have time to deal with woman and her sense of humor. Damn it, I lead a people to build a barricade; I could figure this out on my own! I do not require the help from a... deranged, delusional woman!
"Wait!" the girl rushed towards me and gripped my arm. I eyed her with a questioning look; she and I never spoke to each other before much less became friends. A blush crawled to her cheeks and she dropped her hand in embarrassment. "Don't leave... You don't know where to go."
I laughed sarcastically. "And you know where to go?"
Ignoring my sardonic tone, she nodded and pointed to a nearby alley. "I know my way around. There, just there. Your friends have already passed by. They're waiting for you beyond."
I kept my face stoic but it felt like a ton has been lifted from my shoulders. My friends are safe and they are waiting. I schooled my features to stop the smile that was beginning to form. "Thank you," I nodded stiffly then headed towards the dark alley.
"Is… Is Marius alright?" she asked hesitantly. Stopping in my tracks, I turned towards her once more. Any fool can see she was infatuated with Marius. She irritated me with her blind love that cost her life. Is unrequited love worth getting shot? Isn't there anything better she could do in her spare time rather than chase a hopeless boy?
"Why does that matter to you?" My voice was impassive but there was a bit of harshness in it.
Her whole face turned red and she stammered. "I… I… I-"
Annoyed, I strutted towards her in quick steps. I glared into those melancholic hazel eyes and my face contorted into a scowl. "He does not love you. Why did you waste your time and your life going after him?"
At first, her face paled in astonishment then an angry shade of red colored her cheeks. Her crooked front teeth bit down hard on her bottom lip as she mimicked my enraged expression. Like my own voice, her voice was clipped but tinted with restrained annoyance. "I did not waste any time going after him! I am no lovesick schoolgirl! I genuinely love Monsieur Marius! I'd do anything for him!"
"And here you are, dead and still unloved by the man whom you died for." I said dryly.
I regretted those words the second they escaped my lips. Hallow emptiness replaced the fire in her eyes and her shoulders slumped. I realized that she already knew of her tragic ending. "You don't understand. You've never been in love with anyone other than your Patria. Have you ever looked at another person and see your whole future with them? Have you ever followed someone like they were the light to your dark world? Have you ever been so broken and tired but kept fighting for the sake of someone you love?" Her voice was soft and numb but her words were daggers ready to maim. "I am here because I will wait for him and I do not care if the wait is long and lonesome. To love is to sacrifice. You don't understand." A single tear began to roll down her cheek and she hung her head down to hide her face.
I was out of words. The lady from earlier entered my thoughts. She worked hard for her daughter, she said so. All of my friends fought in the barricade with me for a brighter future. Even little Gavroche joined our fight and gave his life for our cause. I recall Grantaire at our last moments, the look upon his usually hazed eyes and that hope clear as day on his face. No, I have never loved anyone like she has but my feelings for my Patria were unconditional. The revolution was the product of my devotion to her. Despite all the criticism and pessimism, I fought, bled and died for my Patria but we still lost the revolution. Even though we did not rise victorious, I know our efforts were not in vain. Like how Eponine took the bullet for Marius, I offered my life for my country. How different was I really from Eponine Thenardier?
The stony exterior crumbled and the anger evaporated. "You're wrong."
Eponine looked up; I could see there were more tears now. I shifted uncomfortably. I swore off all distractions a long time ago so I have no idea how to deal with emotional women. Going with my instincts, I brushed my thumb on her face to wipe her tears. Her eyes just stared at me in wonder. Perhaps she wasn't used to being comforted. My face started to feel unusually warm, I cleared my throat. "I understand perfectly. Lots of people told me the revolution would fail but I didn't listen. They told me I was wasting my time and my life yet that did not stop me. Here I am now dead but I don't regret a second of fighting."
Her eyes widened and her lips slightly parted as if marveling over something interesting. "That's admirable, Enjolras. You know... I watch you make your speeches. It's amazing." As lightly as a feather, her fingers touched my hand which was still on her face. A peaceful smile graced her face.
"You don't have to wait for Marius." I blurted out.
Her forehead furrowed. "What are you saying? I cannot leave. What if Marius-"
"You don't have to wait for him alone. We shall wait for him in the other side." I smiled gently; every part of me was excited to see the new world. I wanted her to see it too. "Come with me, Eponine."
"But…" she hesitated.
I was a bit hurt that Marius was still in her mind even now but I pushed that thought away. "When Marius crosses, he would want to see you happy. He knows you deserve happiness." Impulsively, I took her hand in mine. It was not cold as I thought it would be. It was rough from her days on the street but warm nonetheless. She intertwined our fingers, I felt relief and embarrassment when she did not protest or pull away.
"You don't know me. I don't deserve happiness because of the things I've done and the crimes I've committed. I'm just a criminal." She whispered mostly to herself.
"We've all done bad things but we must not forget of the good things we've done too. Everyone deserves happiness and peace. You have to learn to forgive yourself, Eponine, or you will never find peace. When you forgive yourself, you can finally move on. We all deserve forgiveness, no matter how cruel we think we are. Excuse the overused statement but you are truthfully not a bad person because there is hope and faith in your eyes. The fact that you feel remorse is evidence that you are not a criminal. " Hopefully, she understood what I was trying to say. "I may not know you, Eponine. But… I want to."
Her chuckling made me feel as if she were laughing at me... But when she laughed, her whole face lit up. Somehow, her smile was contagious. "Ah, we have plenty of time to get to know each other."
A smile tugged my lips. "We have the rest of eternity, in fact."
Smiling wider, she nodded in agreement. "Might as well start now."
On their way towards the alley, I spotted the lady from earlier picking pink roses of a dainty light pink color from flower vases. Her long fingers gently caressed the delicate petals as she hummed a sweet tune. I said to her, "would you wish to come with us to see the next life, mademoiselle?"
The lady looks up at us, her smile only grows when she sees Eponine beside me. "No thank you, monsieur. I am afraid that if I leave now, no one will watch over them." She brings a rose to her nose and inhales the fragrance. "My work is not done yet."
I do not question her vague statements. The lady seemed happy and contented enough here. Perhaps she was waiting for someone to pass by. I glanced at Eponine who was watching the lady with curiosity. "Those are beautiful flowers," she admire the pink cabbage roses.
"Yes, they are quite lovely... They remind me of my daughter." The lady looks up to us and gives a dimpled smile. "Do not worry about me. I shall meet you on the other side soon. Go ahead and see the world you dreamed and fought for." Then, she proceeded to softly hum a melodic tune.
I nodded to her and return her smile with a bright grin. Eponine and I walked towards the entrance to the next life when her humming turns into singing. Her voice, just like words, lightly carried emotion like waves on a sandy shore. Come with me. The chains will never bind you. All your grief at last, at last behind you. Lord in Heaven, look down on him in mercy. She sang like a mother sings a lullaby to her little child or a friend singing goodbye to her dear cherished friend.
Eponine and I were sent off with the words from a song of filled with love and hope. Take my hand. I'll lead you to salvation. Take my love for love is everlasting. And remember the truth that once was spoken. To love another person is to see the face of God. From my peripheral vision, Eponine was discreetly hiding her tears by rubbing her eyes with the back of her other hand. I squeezed her hand as comfortingly as I can and she leaned towards me a bit more.
With Eponine beside me, we went through the darkness and into the light. The new world was everything I wanted and more. It looked exactly like Paris but... better. We were met with laughter, cheering and smiles. Music filled the air. There was red, blue and white everywhere as far as I can see. My friends greeted me with congratulations, patted my back and even embraced me. There was a huge barricade, taller than any of the other barricades. All of the late nights, planning, speeches, blood, loss and sacrifices seemed so long ago. My Patria has rewarded me with this new world. This is Heaven, I can feel it in my bones.
Eponine stood next to me the whole time, her face mirrored the mirth in all of the faces here. My heart warmed at the sight of her. The excited woman with bright eyes I saw before me was not the miserable street girl I have known. She tugged my sleeve and pointed at all kinds of things like a child in a toy store. I was grateful for her presence. Still extremely ecstatic at the sight, she mischievously pecked my cheek. "Welcome home, Enjolras."
I smiled wider as she slipped her hand in mine. Admittedly, I've grown fond of her hand in mine. Seeing that I did not push her away, she leaned her head on my shoulder.
"It's good to be home."
Home, this is my home. This is the place I have dreamed for, worked for and sacrificed for. Finally, I have found it. I have found freedom.
