Disclaimer:All of the characters are the property of Dick Wolf. I thank him, the writers, the directors and all the great actors who brought them "to life" for our benefit. Any "liberties" I have taken with them stems from my fond admiration (and a few personal quirks I will seek "help" for).
AN: This story is not set within the accepted "canon" for the characters as it is only officially portrayed by the TV series. So I get to "fool around" with them in ways in which they've never been seen, stretching that to the limit and suspending the "reality" that is "fiction" to start with…now there's a contradiction in terms!!!
(And yeah Goren I know the proper word for that is oxymoron…no I have no clue what's for dinner tonight…because you are the one making it that's why…)
Ten weeks after they made an important decision Alex is paying the price and Bobby feels helpless…
NO TURNING BACK
"Uuugh" Alex made a mixture of a groaning sound and a belch as she finally quit retching.
Bobby stopped hesitantly rubbing her back and handed her some water with a soft suggestion of "Here Alex"
She took it, her hand shaking a little, saying "Thanks" before she took a drink, rinsed it round her mouth and then spat. Leaned forward a little with another of those odd sounds dry retching gives rise to and then sighed.
"Can I get you anything?" Bobby asked quietly
Alex shook her head "No. Seems even the tea and toast thing doesn't work anymore"
"I'm sorry"
She glanced round at Bobby. Suddenly he looked like a small kid. A rather scared and helpless small kid. Not a look she'd ever seen before and lousy as she felt after all the puking, she couldn't bear to see him like that.
"I'll be fine now Bobby" she tried to re-assure him "And it's not your fault is it? We made the decision to do this together didn't we?"
"I know Alex but…" he chewed his lip for a brief second "But seeing this happening to you almost every day…I just wonder…is it worth it?"
"Don't be silly Bobby" she tried to smile "And at least you stuck around. A lot of guys would be running the other way. Leaving me to get on with it on my own. As to worth it? Of course it will be. And don't you ever say such a thing again. Otherwise I will get mad with you"
"I guess" he muttered still not sounding convinced "But this just makes me feel…so useless though…guilty almost and selfish" he was twisting his fingers together "And we both know it was really my idea…me that wanted this the most I suppose"
"Like I don't have a mind of my own?" Alex murmured "Or you forced me?" she gave him a smile "Was I drunk? Or unconscious at the time?"
"No" Bobby gave her a little smile "And you know how pleased…how excited I am really"
"I know you are Bobby" she glanced up him "And when we found out I don't think I ever saw you so…so happy"
Bobby sighed "I wanted this a long time…waited it seemed all my life…"
"So enjoy all the good parts" she urged him taking his arm to steady herself "Just promise me one thing you great lug?"
"Anything Alex" he said earnestly
"Next time…"
"Next time" Bobby frowned "We didn't get through this one yet"
"Next time Bobby" Alex repeated "Next time you win first prize in the 1PP Christmas Draw take the week in a luxury spa if you want me to come with you. Not a five day whale-watching cruise"
"I promise" he said as the deck tilted ominously beneath them both…
AN : It was that or them being stuck on the Staten Island Ferry for days…
