"Good night, Gaara-sama"
It was two in the morning. Just three days since Gaara had come back to life and he was now finishing the endless pile of paperwork to stamp. His body was still slightly stiff from the rigor mortis but he couldn't let that stop him. Being the Kazekage, he had duties to fulfill and a few days of absence only intensified the need to finish his work immediately.
Things were different now. Like any other human being, Gaara also got tired and now had to fight the urge to drop in bed and sleep. Trying to stifle a yawn, he continued, diligently reading through and stamping the documents when suddenly he felt a chakra signature approaching his office.
"Identify yourself." He said in his usual deep monotone.
"Kazekage-sama, it's Matsuri!"
"Come in."
Matsuri quietly opened the door, obediently closing it as she gracefully stepped into the room.
"Two in the morning and still up like this? I wonder how Gaara-sama can sit still and continue doing all this paperwork." she thought to herself. There was an awkward stillness between them and Matsuri thought of making the initiative to break a conversation with Gaara.
"Umm.. Kazekage-sama?"
Gaara silently looked up from his paperwork.
"Umm.. I was thinking you should get some sleep. It's already 2 am."
"Thank you for your concern, Matsuri. But I can still keep going."
As the minutes went by, Gaara was slowly succumbing to exhaustion. His eyelids slowly began to droop and the dark circles around his eyes became even more prominent. He caught Matsuri trying to stifle a yawn.
"What are you doing at this time of day? Shouldn't you be in bed by now? It's way past your curfew." he said flatly.
"Umm... I was having a hard time to sleep so I decided to check you out, Gaara-sama."
Gaara slightly flinched upon hearing her address him this way. Everyone usually addressed him as Kazekage-sama out of respect. Only a few people like Matsuri called him Gaara-sama. Although it's been three years since his installment as Kazekage, only a few have ever managed to get to know Gaara as a person, one of them being Matsuri who was his first student since the Suna Academy was erected. Honestly, Gaara didn't really mind if people attached honorifics to his name. All he ever wanted was for the villagers to acknowledge him for who he was. He was grateful for the girl's concern and initial bravery but he needed to get work done.
"You should get some rest. I'm alright here and I'll finish up in a while. Please leave."
"But Gaara-sama, I'm worried about you. It's only been a few days since you've come back to.. life and you haven't really gotten a decent rest…" Matsuri gestured towards his table and held on to the edges.
Without looking up from the paperwork, Gaara flatly stated, "Please leave and get some rest."
Matsuri still wasn't moved. "Gaara-sama, you need to rest as well. You can save all the paperwork for tomorrow. You don't need to be so harsh on yourself."
Gaara temporarily stopped upon hearing the last sentence. "You don't need to be so harsh on yourself." Suddenly, he thought about his past mistakes and the terror he caused to the villagers. Nothing in his power could make up for the lives he took. Still, he continued to stamp the pile.
"Gaara-sama, please! You can't keep going on like this."
Gaara played deaf continued doing what he was doing but Matsuri could take it no more. Just as he was about to stamp a page, she placed her hand on top of the pile. Gaara jolted to a stop, his baby blue eyes met hers.
"Please, get some rest. You can save that for tomorrow." Matsuri pleaded, her eyes locked on Gaara's.
He couldn't understand why she was so desperate to make him rest. He had work to do. He told her he could still keep going and even if he seemed to falter, he still could. He felt a sudden urge to raise his voice and scare the girl out of his office but his body wouldn't permit him to do so. Gaara was tired, he had to admit, but somehow, he just couldn't accept the idea of sleep. He was afraid, to say the least.
"Sleep. It's something I've never done my whole life. I can't bring myself to… Some people don't ever wake up anymore and some others, get these things called dreams." Random thoughts connecting sleep with death swam in Gaara's mind.
Tired and defeated, Gaara slumped on his chair like a deflated balloon. He followed his usual habit of folding his arms and closing his eyes to meditate. He felt like he was sinking into a deep and never ending black pit.
After a few seconds, he realized it wasn't the office lights and paperwork he was already seeing. Gaara suddenly jolted up to wake himself. "No. I can't let myself sink into that abyss. I have work to finish." Upon seeing him jolt awake, Matsuri hurriedly ran to his side.
"Gaara-sama! Are you alright? I'm so sorry for shocking you." She held on to the edges of Gaara's desk chair.
Gaara directed his view to the window on the right. He couldn't admit outright that he was afraid of falling asleep. That was simply ridiculous! Again, another awkward silence commenced until Matsuri broke the ice again.
Trying to look into his eyes, she softly spoke. "Gaara-sama? I'm really sorry for what I said. You were already asleep but you suddenly jolted awake. What's the matter?"
His baby blue eyes turned to meet her chocolate brown orbs. Deep inside, Matsuri tried to stifle a blush from appearing on her cheeks. It was hard to forget that the Kazekage was also just a teenager- a boy her age. Slowly, Gaara pulled her closer to him.
"Promise me, you won't laugh or anything." He whispered softly.
"I promise."
"Matsuri, I.. I'm afraid." His eyes unconsciously shifted to his lap. "I'm afraid of falling asleep."
His honest answer reached the depth of Matsuri's heart. Suddenly, she can see the child, Gaara, clutching his teddy bear, shunned by the villagers for the monster he didn't know was inside of him. It nearly brought her to tears. She realized that he had never slept at all his whole life. He was so distant from the rest of them.
On the outside, Gaara seemed indestructible. He would simply stand folding his arms and command his sand to squeeze the bodies of the enemies. He was relentless and unforgiving in battle. He was the Kazekage after all but beneath this harsh exterior, Gaara was still... a child- a young boy who was deprived of love and now trying to pick up the pieces by building relationships. The Kazekage, the leader of Sunagakure, was afraid of falling asleep.
With no hesitations, Matsuri gently cupped his face, whispering softly, "Gaara-sama, it's alright. Just close your eyes." She gently held his head to her chest as he slowly obeyed.
"But… What if I won't wake up again?" he whispered.
"Shhh… Go to sleep, Gaara-sama." Matsuri whispered, gently pressing his lips with her index finger.
"What if Shukaku comes back to me…" Gaara mumbled unconsciously.
"Go to sleep, Gaara-sama…" Matsuri gently stroked his red hair.
"What if… What if I can't see the light again?" his speech slurred.
"Shhh.. Go to sleep."
In a few seconds, Gaara's breathing evened. He was finally asleep. Matsuri lovingly held his red head in her arms, watching the Kazekage's sleeping figure.
"He looks so peaceful, like an angel." she thought to herself. Matsuri gently caressed Gaara's face, rubbing his cheek softly. As she took in his peaceful form, she noticed his red tattoo peeking out from his messy red hair.
Suddenly, she remembered her first encounter with Gaara. He seemed so distant, so afraid, but everyone didn't see that so they ran away from him. She was the only one brave enough to approach him and he gladly became her sensei. Gaara taught her a whole lot of things and eventually transformed her from the weapon fearing girl to a fine kunoichi. She would never forget how far he went just to save her from her kidnappers back then. She saw how he struggled with his own will to prevent the Shukaku from going on a rampage. There were a lot of things she saw that were invisible to the villagers' eyes. Gaara, was not only the Kazekage to her. He was also her mentor, her friend, and most of all, her love interest.
Love. She wondered if Gaara could feel it right now- her love for him. The village needed him. The council needed him. She needed him. She wanted to be there for him like how he was always there for her. She wanted to help him face his fears. Most of all, she wanted him to acknowledge her too. She only wished Gaara would stop hurting himself and see beyond what he's been through.
She gently kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, Gaara-sama…" lovingly holding him in her arms as the darkness faded away into light.
-THE END-
