The Heart Never Lies
LEJP
Summary: Short song-fic based on McFly's 'The Heart Never Lies': Snippets of Lily and James Potter's married life from James' POV. I hope it's better than the summary.
A/N: I heard the song on the radio and immediately thought of Lily and James. I don't know why!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. JK Rowling owns the characters and McFly own the song.
March 31st 1979
Some people laugh, some people cry,
Some people live, some people die.
Some people run right into the fire,
And some people hide their every desire
They're murderers. Cold-hearted murderers. Flashes of light: yellow and blue, pink and orange, red and green. They're laughing, laughing like they don't care who they kill, even one of their own. The sound of children crying and screaming for their mothers reverberates in my ears and I try hard not to think of Lily. She's somewhere in all of this. She could be one of the dead that I feel under my feet as I throw every curse, jinx and hex I know at my opponent. He's laughing at me, taunting me, jeering me, but all I want to do is get away with my wife, unharmed. The Aurors are allowed to kill. I wish I'd taken up that profession now. He catches me off guard and my legs start dancing underneath me, carrying me everywhere but the direction I want to go. It's hell and all around me people are running away from it, into it, around it and I want to scream at them to stop. A flash of green light brushes over the top of my head. I hear my hair ruffle. I'm barely nineteen. I'm still a child. I should be out having fun, laughing and joking, not here, risking my life. My opponent, I can't see his face but his voice is scarily familiar, comes back into my line of vision: tall, hooded and masked. I yell the first spell that comes into my head: Expelliarmus and his wand spirals out of his hand. He looks at me, the flashes of light illuminating his mask and I can see cold blue eyes gazing out at me through the narrow slits, and I can see his fear. I find myself smirking and Stunning him. His body crumples to the ground. I silently hope someone breaks every bone on his body running over him.
But we are the lovers
If you don't believe me
Then just look into my eyes
Cause the heart never lies
There's a cry from not too far away. A woman's scream of 'AURORS' and there's an almighty crack as every conscious, hooded figure Disapparates. There's a stunned silence then people running. Someone ends the jinx cast on my legs and turn around, searching desperately for a flash of red on the floor.
"James!" I hear a yell but I can't identify the voice. It's muffled, like it's coming from a long way away. I turn on the spot to see Remus Lupin and Sirius Black legging it towards me. Sirius launches himself at me, tears racing and my heart stops for a second.
"Lily?" I mutter stupidly.
"I don't know," Remus sighs from beside me as Sirius apologises and lets go of me. Moony continues talking, telling me who's dead and injured but I stare hopelessly at the floor. Then there's a scream and another body is in my arms. I don't register who it is for another ten seconds, despite my arms wrapping tightly around the person.
"I thought you were…" came the soft voice into my ear and every inch of me warms.
"Me too," I reply, "I love you." She steps back but my arms are still tightly wrapped around her waist. She tilts her head backwards to look into my eyes and she repeats what I said. She says it strongly and meaningfully but her eyes show she's terrified that this could be the last chance she has to tell me. We could die any day now. I pull her closer to me, turning on the spot without a word, landing us both safely within the confines of our own home.
Some people fight, some people fall,
Others pretend they don't care at all,
If you wanna fight, I'll stand right beside you,
The day that you fall, I'll be right beside you.
February 17th 1980
I don't think I've ever been so silent for so long. My hand rests on Lily's as we sit in Dumbledore's office. Alice Longbottom is stood behind us, sobbing heavily into her husband's shoulder. I feel numb. We've just been told one of our children is prophesied to end this war; one of our unborn sons will defeat the most ruthless, evil wizard of the century. Lily is staring ahead, straight at Dumbledore. He doesn't flinch, or even seem the slightest bit perplexed. He returns her gaze, blue eyes meeting green. Which one will crack first? Alice's sobs are diffusing now; my eyes are still flickering from Dumbledore to Lily, like a Muggle tennis match. Dumbledore is the first to break the gaze, and starts looking at a speck of dust upon his desk.
"I'm sorry," he says, as though that will make everything all right. I turn in my seat to face my wife, who is still staring at Dumbledore.
"We're still going to fight," she announces, to everyone's surprise. She lifts her eyes from Dumbledore to look at Frank and Alice, "We might not be able to win this war but we can make it one hell of a lot easier for whichever boy has to do this," I gaze at the Longbottoms, and I know they're going to stand by her on this. For the first time since we walked in the room, Lily looks at me. I open my mouth to protest, but close it because I know she's right. Just because we can't end it, that doesn't mean we have to give up, 'Thank you,' she mouths to me, before standing up and walking to the fireplace. We say hurried goodbyes, before disappearing into emerald flames.
To pick up the pieces
If you don't believe me
Then just look into my eyes
Cause the heart never lies
The second she lands in our living room, she breaks down. Her whole body falls to the floor and sobs. I want to reach out to her, hold her but something stops me. Nothing is going to make this easier. I look at her, broken, just like she was when she found out her father had died, and before I know it I'm on the floor too. My shoulders are heaving and my vision is blurred. I clumsily reach out a hand and she grasps it tightly. I pull myself towards her and she falls onto my chest as we both cry and weep. She looks up at me and my heart breaks again, "Sirius will be here soon," she murmurs, "We should get tidied up."
"Lil, he won't care. He's seen you cry hundreds of times and he's seen me a fair few too," I say, trying to make light of the situation, but more tears fall from my eyes, "Lily, I'm never going to leave you, you know that don't you?" she doesn't reply. I don't know if it's because she physically can't or if it's because she doesn't believe me. Then she nods against my shoulder and I breathe a sigh of relief. I kiss her hair, "I love you."
"I know. I…I love you too," she manages to choke out before another wave of sobs overcomes her.
Another year over, we're still together,
It's not always easy, but we're here forever.
June 15th 1981
I never thought I could love something as much as I do my son. He's nearly a year old, and he was born with a mop of jet-black hair, just like mine. I could spend all day just looking at him, drinking him in, like now. He's sat on the sofa, the cat curled up on the opposite side watching him. Lily's upstairs, writing a letter to Wormtail, I think. Sirius is coming over later, so she's been cleaning and tidying obsessively. I think it's in her blood because I remember when we visited her sister last year the place was sparkling. Harry giggles and I look up from some Order work I'm going through. He looks at me, totally innocently, his big green eyes full of curiosity and wonder. I can't help putting my stuff down and lifting him up. He laughs again, his mother's laugh, light-hearted and soft, the cat stretches and jumps of onto the carpet, padding into the kitchen. There's a knock on the front door and Harry's head swivels in wonder, "Who's that, I wonder?" I say to him, tiptoeing and pulling back the curtain so he can look outside, even though I already know who it is from the rhythm of the knock. Harry's eyes widen and he claps his chubby hands together, instantly recognising his godfather. I pull open the door and Harry strains against me. Sirius slips inside and immediately takes my son out of my arms, babbling to him in baby talk, "Lily, Padfoot's here," I shout up the stairs, then walk into the living room, "Oi, I didn't make you godfather so you could ignore me, you prat," I tell my friend, who seems to suddenly notice my presence and turn around.
"Sorry mate," he says with a twinkle in his eye, "It's just your son is so much prettier than you, I can't help it," he joked putting Harry down for a second to give me a quick hug, "He takes after his mother," he added with a wink. Then he swooped down and lifted Harry up again, dancing around the room with him.
"Sirius Black if you make my son sick, you're clearing it up," a third voice instructed from the doorway. We both turn and she grins, bypassing me to kiss Sirius.
"What is it today with being ignored?" I ask loudly as Lily's starts talking to Harry, which means she won't stop for an hour. She turns and winks cheekily, but still babbles on to her son.
"Aw, poor Prongs, come here," Sirius passes Harry to his mother and runs at me, knocking me over and jumping on top of me, kissing all over my face.
"PADFOOT GET OFF ME YOU BA…" I cut off mid sentence as Lily growls at me, "Babyless moron?" I say sweetly as Sirius clambers off me. Lily rolls her eyes and glares, "What did you want, anyway?" I ask him, getting up as Lily takes Harry into the kitchen.
"Nothing really. Do I need an excuse to see my best friend?" he asks sweetly in a very non-Padfoot way. I look at him sternly and he gives in quicker than I expected, "Okay, Dumbledore's coming to see you tomorrow. He wants to see how those papers are going, see if you two are okay, see Harry, the usual," Sirius' face darkens, "He's nearly one hundred percent sure now that there's a spy in the Order." I know who he thinks it is, and though I want to trust the guy, something tells me that Sirius could be right. I nod and sigh as my eyes fall on the papers shoved down the side of the armchair.
"Okay, thanks mate," I say softly. Harry's gurgles drift in from the next room. Sirius seems to melt in front of me.
"I'd better get going," he sighs, running a hand through his hair. It falls neatly into his eyes and I can't help but glance in the mirror at my own excuse for a haircut and feel quite jealous. Not just of his hair but the freedom that I've lost. It hurts sometimes, to see my best friends running around, trying to save the world, whilst I'm stuck inside these four walls with my family. I snap out of my daydream to hug Sirius, who clings to me a second longer than necessary, and I know it's for reassurance that he's got me here when he needs me. He steps away and disappears into the kitchen. I hear Lily's quiet goodbye and Sirius' kiss on Harry's forehead. He gives me a smile as he leaves.
I sit on my bed in silence with my finished work on the bedside table and I'm numb. I don't understand this world sometimes. How people can spy and be double agents, how they can make you trust them one hundred percent and make you believe they're genuine. I hear Lily's footsteps across the landing and the door opens, "Still flat out," she tells me, kicking off her slippers and jumping onto the bed. She nestles against me and I place my arm around her, holding her as close to me as possible, "What's the matter?" she asks immediately, looking up at me with emerald eyes.
"I just can't believe I've got you," I lie, hoping and praying she doesn't detect it. She doesn't, and holds my other hand in hers.
"Ah, it was inevitable," she says mystically, "I was just…well, we're here now, aren't we?" I smile and nod, "James, there's something else, isn't there?" she sits up, cross-legged, staring at me.
"No, Lily, I swear," I hate lying to her. I know she doesn't believe me but she respects me and brushes it off. She flops back onto the bed and sighs.
"I can't believe we're still here," she murmurs, still holding my hand tightly. I agree quietly, "How long do you think?" I know what she means. We, alongside Alice and Frank, are Voldemort's number one targets, well, Harry and Neville are. I shrug.
"I don't know. Just take each day as it comes," I tell her. She sits up again and tears are filling her eyes, "I know it's difficult. We might have ten years, we might have ten days or ten minutes. We just have to live as normal, and it'll be…" I was going to say fine but that would be stupid, "We'll cope. I love you," I add, looking at her closely.
"Yeah, we will," and I think that was all she was going to say, until she climbs under the covers and snuggles closely to me. Then, in a tiny whisper, barely audible above the out of season wind that's beating against the windows, I hear her reply, "I love you too."
Yeah, we are the lovers,
I know you believe me,
When you look into my eyes,
Because the heart never lies
Because the heart never lies
Because the heart never lies
31st October 1981
It's Halloween: nineteen eighty-one. A year I doubted ever seeing. Harry's old enough to stand up now, and with a bit of help from me or Lily, can walk a few paces. The Fidelius Charm went on a week ago. Peter's the Secret Keeper. Sirius is nearly one hundred percent that Remus is the spy, and we quite agree that Padfoot would be the 'obvious' choice. Dumbledore wanted the job, but I insisted Wormtail would suffice.
Lily has just had Harry in the window, watching a few 'trick or treaters' going past the window, down to the other odd cottages dotted around us. Now, he's sitting next to me as I make smoke rings come out of my wand. We both laugh as he grabs them and I smile as he frowns in confusion as he opens his empty fist. I hear Lily clanking around in the kitchen, "James, stop now, he's going to bed!" she yells. A cupboard door slams shut and then footsteps. I think I hear something else, like a creak of a gate, but tell myself I'm being paranoid as I pass Lily our son and throw my wand on the floor. I frown as I hear footsteps that I shouldn't. It's carpet upstairs. The front door flies open and I fly out of the room.
"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!" the words are out of my mouth before I think and I realise the stupidity of what I've said as I see in my mind my wand lying carelessly on the settee. I straighten my back, staring at the hooded figure. If I'm going to be killed, I'll do it protecting my family. He lifts his wand, as though he's just going to do a simple spell, I gulp. I don't break my gaze as the words fall from his mouth, high pitched and cold. All I can think of is Lily and Harry as the green light speeds towards me. I see their emerald green eyes and…
A/N: Please review! I don't like the ending but I didn't think of James dying when I started writing in present tense. I can leave it, change it all to past tense or show James and Lily after they're dead [which I'm not 100 percent sure about doing so any tips, let me know. If there are any spelling/grammar/other mistakes, please let me know.
