This is somewhat adapted from The Very Secret Diaries of the Lord of the Rings, which is absolutely hilarious. If you haven't read them, go look it up in Google. Hopefully it's still around somewhere. Anyway this isn't exactly the same (and nowhere near as good most likely!), but inspired by that. Obviously the Marauders would NOT have kept a diary. Perhaps Remus comes the closest, or James with his love obsession with Lily. So this is entirely hypothetical! So that you understand how this is going to work, basically each chapter will be each Marauder's perspective on a certain event, e.g. the first train ride, James asking Lily out, finding out Remus is a werewolf, etc. If this is to continue, I need some more ideas for 'events'. So let me know, especially any potentially hilarious ones.
I should also say that the Marauders, for the purposes of this fanfic, are stereotyped to the max, lame jokes included. It's meant to be a clichéd as possible! I will also put Lily's P.O.V. in from time to time, just to balance things out a little.
Now, let me present…
Marauding Moments: The Diaries of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs
By SiriusLoverr
The First Train Ride: Remus
Dear Diary,
Well, I'm finally off to Hogwarts! This morning certainly was hectic. I got to the station on time, as expected, despite having spent the night before roaming around the hills as my alter ego, aka werewolf guy. Understandably, I was rather tired, so I tried to find a spare carriage which would allow me to sleep pretty much through the whole train ride. Unfortunately, things never really work out for me, and the minute I boarded the train I was harassed by a fifth-year Slytherin who threatened to hex me if I didn't immediately vacate the carriage I was occupying so that he could get on with hexing another poor first-year in private. Well, I wasn't about to do anything, other than run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. But luckily for us, two other first-years with, might I add, excellent wand skills, had him running to the opposite end of the train with his robes on fire around his ankles.
Seeing as the carriage was now empty, I took the opportunity to try and get some sleep. But for some reason, the poor first-year couldn't really get his hands off me. Not in that way. He was scared to death, and I don't blame him! The two boys who had saved us from potentially being slaughtered on our first day of school joined us. They didn't really have anywhere else to go.
So anyway, now I'm sitting in the carriage with Peter (who has still to remove his sweaty hands from my robes), James (who has THE messiest hair I have ever seen – I can't stop staring at it!) and Sirius (whose hair is possibly, well, the best looking hair I've ever seen. On a guy. And that doesn't mean that HE is the best looking thing I've ever seen. I'm not gay. But you know that, you're my diary. Anyway, I doubt there's room for anyone else in that mind of his. I think he's in love with himself). It's rather hilarious watching James and Sirius. I've decided to keep a tally of how many times during this trip they touch their hair. So far, it's:
James: 17
Sirius: 23
OH. GOD. I just caught sight of my hair in the mirror, and it's fluoro orange! Okay, which one of these idiots did that…Sorry Diary, better deal with this. I'll write again later!
The Day I Nearly Died: Peter
I am so shaken I can barely bring myself to write this. But, of course, Diary, you need to know everything that happens. I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I was so excited, finally going to Hogwarts. I had a bit of a clumsy start though – as I got on the train I tripped over someone's luggage, and it fell open. I couldn't really tell what was in it, but there were lots of swirling objects and weird gadget things. Quite interesting, really. But the guy wasn't too happy. He cornered me in the hallway and took me to a carriage where he said he would 'hex me until I couldn't walk'. Oh, sweet Merlin, you have no idea how scared I was. I was about to be killed on my first day of school! A guy was already in the carriage, though, and these two guys came along and pretty much saved our lives. I am eternally grateful to them. James Potter and Sirius Black are their names. I didn't ask, but the guy in the carriage did. He's Remus Lupin. He was so nice to me. I think it's because we share the feeling of what it's like to nearly die. It's created a sort of…bond between us.
Well, I'll write again later, Diary, once I get to Hogwarts. If I'm not dead by then...
The Train with the Worst Facilities for Men on the Planet: Sirius
Diary, I'm back! Glad to see me? Who am I kidding, of course you are. Urgh. I'm so bored. The windows on this train are so lacking in reflective qualities, I can't see my hair. Perhaps if it was another colour I'd be able to see it better. I'm considering getting my pocket mirror out, the situation is so drastic.
Anyway, nothing's really happened so far. Said goodbye to dear old mum at King's Cross, boy was she glad to see me go! I must say, if I'm in Slytherin I think I'll die.
I met some guy called James at the station. Idiot. I was totally chatting up this third-year babe, and he had to go and spoilt it all. Oh well, all eyes were on me as we boarded the train. I think I can safely say that I'll make up for that loss with plenty of others!
Unfortunately, I got stuck in a carriage with two other guys. It was a bit unnerving. We shouldn't have saved them from that Slytherin, maybe then I would've had better company. One of them, Remus I think, couldn't stop looking at James. Although, I have a feeling it was because I'd made the ends of his hair look like he was undergoing some kind of electric surge. I also managed to turn Remus' hair fluoro orange. I think he's actually noticed now, it took him a good twenty minutes. Okay, I really need to find a mirror. Wish me luck, Diary!
The Most Wonderful Train Ride of my Entire Life: James
Hey Diary,
Well today's the day! First day at Hogwarts. Although, we haven't got there yet, we're still on the train. I'm rather disappointed actually, haven't been able to pull off any pranks yet. Instead, I SAVED two guys from being hexed. Which is how I ended up in this carriage with some fat idiot who's probably gay, another bloke who I'd say definitely IS gay from the way he keeps looking at me. And then there's Sirius, who I met on the Platform. We were both checking out the same girl. I think it's pretty safe to say is in love with himself. The only reason I even attempted to make conversation with him is so he can't rival me for any potentially dateable girls at Hogwarts. But then again, I doubt I'll have much of a problem. They all had their eyes on me as we boarded the train.
Anyway, I haven't reached the most important part yet. Just as we'd sat down, this girl came into our carriage, looking for someone. This is how the conversation went:
Girl: "Hi, have any of you seen a girl called Alice? She's kinda short and she's not wearing robes because I have hers by accident…anyway long story. She been in here?"
Sirius: "Not wearing any robes? I think I would've noticed if she'd come in here…" (Honestly, what a perverted idiot).
Me: "No, but you can join us if you'd like.'
Girl: "Oh, I'm really sorry, but I really need to find her. She'll probably get punished terribly if she turns up without them."
Ohhh Merlin, I think I'm in love.
Please please please review! I will love you forever! Next chapter: James asks Lily out for the first time. It will have Lily's P.O.V. also. If you're wondering why Sirius didn't mention Lily coming into the carriage, it's cos he doesn't remember. The whole point of this is to show the things that they noticed - their version of events. I didn't deliberately leave it out!
SiriusLoverr
