"Dead Roses"
by: Setsuna-X
Summary: Red roses are his favorite, too bad all they're dead. Angst/Romance One Sided KatanxRosiel
Warning: Contains very very mild boyxboy // some OOC // angels involved
Disclaimer: Angel Sanctuary and its characters do not belong to me. Katan and Rosiel's actions here do.
Katan's POV
I walk into the decrepit church, with it's gaping holes in the ceiling and half broken stained glass windows. I can see there is a light on coming from one of the hallways and I slowly make my way toward it, careful to not cause any unnecessary noise. I turn into the run-down hallway with its peeling paint and spy through the crack of the door. My beautiful Lord Rosiel is laying on the broken down couch, the inner stuffing escaping from a small gap on the lower left leg.
I sigh as I stare at his perfect figure. His silvery hair like silken strands hang off the side of the cushion. He's dressed in a light, white garb-- the clothing, like sheets, hanging off him in a most alluring manner. I'm sure only my lord would be able to pull off that fashion and still be called beautiful in it. His right hand is laying across his eyes, probably covering them from the candle light in the room. I don't think this church has any working electricity anymore; it was abandoned when we came across it. My lords' other hand is hanging off the couch, the knuckles of his fingers gently brushing the stone floor.
I spot the roses I picked for him in a vase near his head atop an old, rickety table. They're still a fresh and very vibrant red. I know I could stand here all night and stare at Lord Rosiel's pale face accentuated by the velveteen roses behind him, but he should really be sleeping in a bed.
I walk slowly into the room, only moving the door aside so I have enough room to pass through it since it has a habit of creaking loudly. My boots hit the stone floor quietly as I step further into the room. I am only several inches away from my lord and he is even more breathtaking up close. I grab his dangling arm and place it gently on his chest and then do the same with his right. I place my arms underneath him as carefully as I could; I don't want to wake him. I lift him easily enough, his body feeling fragile and light in my arms.
Despite his delicate figure and features I know what this man is capable of. He is able to grant life so easily and effortlessly to a grigor like me and can coldly punish those who question him all with the same face. It's amazing that this man in my arms is that powerful and that he has allowed me to remain at his side. I adored him the moment I realized that it was he who had granted me the chance at life like the other angels and not just live for a whim to later be forgotten forever. I grew up, studying harder and harder until I was able to make it to him. I was saddened so deeply when I felt as if he had forgotten me, but when we were alone and he called my name with such kindness I was elated beyond words. And when he brushed his hand against my cheek new emotions sprung on inside me; emotions and feelings that I wasn't able to feel as a grigor, and that I knew were not something that Angels should be feeling.
Since then I've come to realize and accept my feelings for Rosiel. He is my one and only and I would gladly give up this lowly life if he demanded it of me--it was he who granted it to me in the first place, after all. I yearned to touch this man again the way he had touched me back them. To run my hands through his long, luxurious hair, to gently touch his face with my finger tips and the most sinful of all, to brush my lips against his, to feel how those rosy pillows would press against mine with the same emotion I felt for him. But I could never reveal how I truly feel. It would change and jeopardize things and the relationship I have with Rosiel as 'Master and Servant' is perfectly fine with me, that doesn't mean, however, that I don't wish for him to love me back—to think only of me.
I finally make it to the area I fashioned as his bedroom and gently place him atop the make-shift bed. I grab the pillows around him and sift them, then place them under my lords head. I look around the plain and run-down room and wish I had the money to refurnish it. I just can't help but feel that my lord should be in more extraordinary living quarters. But we are angels and we have no time for such things like jobs. Although there is nothing I can buy to make this area more hospitable for Rosiel I know something that can brighten it up.
I make my way back to the room my lord had been in previously and take a hold of the glass vase filled with red roses. A let a small smile filter onto my face as I think of how surprised Rosiel would be to wake up beside his favorite flowers. I yearn for the day in which he'll smile at me the same way he'll surely smile at these roses.
Carefully I make my way back into the room, aware at the level of water in the vase, and place the glass quietly on top of the nightstand near Rosiel's head. I sigh as I take in his picture perfect profile once again. My eyes stay fixated upon his rosy lips and my yearning to kiss them comes back with a vengeance. I know I should hold myself back, a mere Cherub should not touch his superior like this, especially not one as heavenly and beautiful as Rosiel, but the feelings in me just well up and I am unable to beat them down.
I lean my face closer to Rosiel's, aware of my erratically beating heart. I hope he does not wake from the sound of it's hard pounding. My breath is coming in shallow pants; I'm nervous and excited. My lips are almost to him, so close, then a small whisper escapes my lords mouth.
'Alexiel...'
Just one word was able to completely throw me off. I pull myself back from his face harshly, stepping back as if I had been struck across the face. And, in a sense, I guess I have been.
Rosiel had been thinking of nothing and no one other than Alexiel all night. Now I know why I found I him asleep on the couch instead of his bedroom.
A wave of hatred suddenly hits me. I don't think I've ever felt hatred quite like this before. I realize now that I hate Alexiel. I'm envious of her because she is always on Rosiel's mind. Day in, day out; hour after hour -- he thinks of no one but her.
I place my hand over my mouth to stifle the bitter laughter escaping me. Jealousy rears it's ugly head and I can see it clearly. Rosiel will never be able to love me as I love him. His heart belongs only to her, to that angel which imprisoned him. If it hadn't been for me and all those sacrificial lambs then he wouldn't even be here!
I feel like shouting all this at him. To finally free myself from such thoughts and feelings, but I can't. He would not care for a thing I say. He might have remembered me that one time long ago -- now I wish he had just forgotten.
I know I will never love another as I love my lord and I vow that I will still remain at his side through everything. I can't bear the thought of leaving him for a second, and I know he needs me. The search for Alexiel will go on until he actually achieves having her and poor Setsuna Mudo would no longer exist.
Something wet hits my fingers then and I glance at my hand to view a certain liquid substance staining them. Tears continue to fall and run down my face and no matter how I wish to pull them back I can't seem to. A sob tries to escape my mouth, but I quickly hold it back with both hands. I should really get out of here before Rosiel wakes up, but I feel like I'm rooted on the spot. My eyes rake over his frame and I still long to hold that body in my arms, and to laugh and kiss and cry with him, but I can't. My eyes then spot the vase of blood-red roses and a new wave of anger rises up in me.
How can he not love me back!? I have taken care of him, rescued him from being sealed away, and take care of his every whim, provided new and fresh roses everyday, and that is still not enough to hold sway in his heart!
I can always feel his strong emotions through a link he inadvertently created when he turned me into an angel—I wonder if he can feel mine at the moment...
I hastily grab the glass vase and watch the flowers dangerously dangle and sway within. I want to throw these roses atop of Rosiel, to cake him in their scented glory and let him know they were from me, not Alexiel, but I bite back my impulse.
My grip on the vase tightens and I can hear the glass straining under my strength. I give Rosiel one last, longing glance before I leave his side for the night. The name 'Alexiel' drifting from his lips echoes in my head. I quickly stride to the outside of the old church, my boots hitting the stone floor harshly.
The cold night air hits me suddenly and I'm instantly glad that I always wear my long coat. I stare down at the roses and that anger hits me again. A part of me knows I will regret this later, but for now I give into my impulse and throw the vase as hard as I could onto the ground, watching as the glass flies in every direction.
The cold water covers the ground and seeps into the dirt quickly. Shards of glass can be seen everywhere, their surface gleaming off the starlight.
And the roses—the roses I had picked with so much happiness and love for Rosiel-- lay on the ground, slowly dying.
End
A/N: More angsty than I usually write, but I just love Katan in AS, so I needed to write at least one fic about him as the main character. I hope you all liked it, despite the lack of boyxboy. The love was there though...anyway. Thanks for reading!
