Chapter One
Alice
For just a few minutes it was quiet, no screams or cries, no footsteps on the stone floor in the corridor, no slamming doors or chinking of huge iron keys in the warders hand. This moment of peace was precious and I held my breath, closing my eyes and pretending I was outside once more. Feeling the breeze on my cheek and the sun on my skin but then the moment was over and reality crashed down on me. A single tear trickled down my cheek and I rubbed it away with a grubby hand. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen hot water or soap. In here the only water was icy from the nearby river and you were strapped into a chair and dunked in it as a treatment for insanity. Sometimes the warders mistimed and a lucky patient drowned but I'd never been so lucky. I looked down at the dirty brown shift which was the uniform for all patients in this asylum. It didn't keep me warm, the cold damp of my cell sank through to my bones and they ached constantly.
I had no idea how long I'd been here, it seemed as if the world outside was merely a dream although sleep was scarce in this terrible place, it was far too noisy for deep sleep, besides the warders found it amusing to wait until their patients were asleep then rush in and throw the contents of the slop bucket over them. The whole place reeked of urine and faeces and unwashed bodies. My hair which had been long and shiny from my mothers constant brushing was now short and spiky, cut by the asylum barber once every few weeks in a futile attempt to keep the lice at bay. Thinking of them I scratched the skin around my neck where I'd been bitten by them. Welcome to hell it should say over the door of this so called hospital.
I hardly remembered my own name any longer, was it Alice or Anne? The warders never called us by name only by our cell number. I was number 42 so there were at least another 41 poor mad souls here or at least they were mad by now even if they came in sane. We never spoke to each other, it was forbidden and the penalty for breaking the rules was a beating or starvation and the meals were so poor we were constantly hungry. The next meal would be what they laughingly called pottage, a kind of watery stew with a few lumps of gristle and some sad vegetables floating in it. The only good thing was the bread, it was stale but it stopped the hunger pangs for a while.
My crime? Well that was the strange thing, I hadn't harmed anyone, I wasn't a thief or a street walker, my crime was telling the future. It was seen as harmless when it foretold a lover or the weather but when you saw the future and it came true you frightened people. You were labelled a witch and sometimes burned or stoned to death but I was lucky, my father had me committed to this hospital for the insane and here I stayed. My mother had visited once with my brother but it upset her too much and I was abandoned to my fate after that. I had no idea how long a person could survive in these conditions but I didn't seem to get sick.
I just sat staring at the dirty stone walls talking to myself but only in my head. If you talked to yourself it was a sign of your insanity and that was punished with cold baths or whippings. If it happened too often you might even be locked in the tiny cell at the end of my corridor. There was room only to crouch in the filthy water that had filled it and shiver hoping your torment wouldn't be too long. I'd heard the warders talking one night when the noise eased a little. They had been discussing a patient who'd been left in there for a week and when they pulled her out the rats had eaten away her toes and the flesh of her thighs. We had heard her screaming but we thought it was fear not the pain of being eaten alive by the vermin that infested the place. When I heard the key in my door I stood to attention as we were supposed to and lowered my eyes to the straw strewn floor.
"Number 42 follow me"
I shuffled out of my cell the ankle shackles rattling madly as I made my way along the corridor thankfully away from the punishment cell because sometimes you could end up there for no discernible reason. When the warder opened the door at the end that led to the courtyard I froze, patients only went out there for whippings or dunking and I couldn't help shaking with fear.
"Come on 42"
I forced myself to continue outside and found it was snowing. I'd love the snow as a little girl but not this snow. It was stained with blood around the whipping post and a scrawny cat was licking at it and hissed as we passed. Where was I being taken? What had I done?
We went through another door at the opposite side of the courtyard and into another corridor but this was a different world altogether. The floor was wooden and the walls painted cream and so clean I longed to reach out and touch them but I knew better, that could get me punished very quickly especially if I left a dirty mark. We stopped outside a door and the warder knocked. It was opened by one of the female trustees, an ex patient who although judged recovered had no one outside and was employed for cooking and general cleaning. She took my arm and pulled me inside the room which again was clean and had a window. I could see the snowflakes falling and watched mesmerised until she nudged me,
"Undress"
I slipped off my shift which was all we had to wear and stood shivering in the cold room as she went through another door then called me through and this time my eyes nearly popped out of my head. In the centre of the room was a bath full of water and I could see it was warm by the tendrils of steam rising from its surface. She handed me a bar of soap and dropped a thin towel and a clean shift on the floor.
"Get yourself clean quickly."
I looked down at my feet and she tutted calling to the warder who came in grumbling and unlocked the shackles so I could step into the bath. The water felt wonderful and the soap although gritty cleaned my skin then I did the best I could with my spiky hair using lather from the soap I rubbed between my hands. I could have stayed in the warm water for ages, it was the first time my body had felt any warmth since I got here but the trustee motioned for me to get out and dry myself which I did reluctantly then pulled the clean shift on and stood eyes lowered waiting for further instructions.
I expected the warder to put the shackles back on but he didn't. Instead he threw a pair of old leather slippers at me and I slipped them on. They were much too big and flopped around as I walked but it was so much better than going bare foot.
"Follow me 42"
I did as instructed and to my delight we went further along this corridor not back to the horrific courtyard. At another door he stopped and knocked again and this time when we heard a voice he opened the door himself and stood back.
"Well go on, get in, you heard the Gentleman."
I walked in and found myself in heaven, there was a carpet on the floor and a fire blazing in the hearth. The walls were covered in tapestries rich in colour and showing hunting scenes and ladies having a picnic by a river. I gazed at the wonderful colours then turned startled as I heard the first kind voice in years.
"You like the tapestries?"
I nodded looking at the man who had addressed me with curiosity. He was tall with long black hair and very pale skin and incredibly handsome but there was something about him that made me very nervous. He stood so the top part of his face was in shadow,
"Didn't you see me coming Alice?"
Alice, that was my name, Alice Brandon, I remembered now. I shook my head, too scared to speak. It could be a trick, to see if I still saw the future.
"I've come to take you away from here if you'd like to go with me that is."
I looked up so startled by his question I forgot to be deferential. Then I swallowed and nodded,
"Yes sir. I'd like that very much."
"You don't even want to know who I am or where I want to take you?"
"If it's away from here it can only be better."
"Sometimes there are places worse than the hell you think you are in Alice. Do you understand that?"
"No Sir."
"Have you had any visions since you've been in this place?"
"No sir, I'm better now really I am."
"Don't be afraid Alice, I'm not a doctor or with the authorities. I just want to help you."
"Why sir?"
He looked at his hands before replying,
"Lets just say you remind me of my own past."
I dare not speak again in case he changed his mind and then he walked forward so I could see his face clearly at last. As he stared at me I saw that his eyes were red, like rubies, and I gasped in fear but he smiled and sat down in one of the chairs pulled up to the fire.
"Please come and sit down Alice."
I moved forward hesitantly and perched on the edge of the empty chair opposite his stretching my hands out to the warmth of the open fire without thinking but when he looked at my hands I snatched them back afraid I had annoyed him.
"Please warm yourself Alice."
I nodded but kept my hands on my lap waiting to hear what else he had to say.
"So you'll come with me to my place outside the city? Without any explanations?"
I nodded again, biting my lip nervously.
"Don't do that please Alice, don't bite your lip. You might cut it with your teeth and I don't think bleeding is a good idea."
I stopped immediately and apologised.
He laughed softly then handed me a long black cloak made of thick wool and I wrapped it around myself feeling the warmth of it seeping into my cold body.
"Come Alice, its time to leave here and find your destined path"
I took his outstretched hand and was confused to find it so much colder even than mine, yet he'd been in this warm room not a cold cell like me. As we passed the warder the stranger handed him some silver and the warder doffed his cap in thanks. Waiting outside was a horse and carriage and the stranger opened the door and waited for me to seat myself before joining me and banging the wall of the carriage, a signal to the driver to move off. I was finally leaving the hell I'd lived in for so long and I just hoped I wasn't driving straight into another.
