Shadows of Former Selves

Landing at the gates of the palace, his stormy gray eyes filled with excitement at the prospect of seeing his friends again. Being the Avatar, it was his duty to bring balance and harmony to the four nations. But the recent rebellions that have sprung up in the Earth Kingdom had seriously devoted most of his time to negotiating peace. He breathed a silent sigh of relief, for it was Zuko who called the meeting between them, although he did not specify why. Shifting his weight, he shot a quick burst of air from his hands, rocketing himself out of the saddle. After giving Appa a quick hug as a token of appreciation, Aang turned to face the palace.

It has been nearly five years since the hundred year war, yet the man that stood before the gates almost barely resembled the young air-bending child five years before. He was strong, his body finely crafted and honed in that of a veteran warrior, not a young boy. His eyes seemed to match this transformation, as those infinitely deep gray pools seemed to reflect hundreds of years of knowledge and the burdens carried by the Avatar. He still had that slight twinkle in his eyes, giving him the youthful vigor and immaturity that still existed. And yet, he still carried that angry star-shaped scar on his back was a chilling reminder of what was, and what should have been. His thoughts slowly wandered again towards a certain waterbender.

Katara… it has been nearly a year since he had last spoken to her. There was a certain emptiness in his heart that could not be filled or healed because of her. Peering at the gates of the palace with longing eyes, he held back silent tears as he remembered the night he was supposed to propose to her. He had carved an engagement necklace, one that matched the one she wore in style, and he was willing to give everything to her. He sighed deeply as he placed his hands into his pocket, finding the engagement necklace he had buried away, along with his heart.

It was just that Zuko beat him to it.

He had found that the young Firelord had already asked her hand in marriage, the brilliant sapphire and ruby ring that adorned the young water-bender's ring finger made it official. No words could still express the pain and hurt that he went through. He simply tucked away his broken heart and necklace into the deepest pit of his being and congratulated the new couple. After all, if she was happy, why shouldn't he be too?

Realizing that he had been daydreaming, he gently shook his head. Now was not the time to dwell on the past. He had a task to complete, a duty to fulfill. With a certain grace only found in an airbender, Aang briskly strode down the hallway toward the Firelord's personal office. The ornate red and gold tapestries lined both sides of the hallway, followed by portraits of the royal family. Approaching the office door, Aang quickly adjusted his robes. Even if he was the Avatar, one should not look shabby in front of royalty. Always displaying a sense of courtesy, Aang knocked on the door slightly. He chuckled to himself slightly at the thought of how Toph would have just barged right in if she were in the same situation.

"Come in." echoed a gruff voice within.

Aang slowly entered, and was immediately struck by the uncanny neatness of the Firelord's office. Normally strewn with books, parchment, and scrolls in every corner, everything seemed to have been put back in place. Having the future Firelady around to help him out did have its perks. Approaching the desk, Aang bowed slightly to his old friend.

"It's good to see you again, Firelord Zuko." slightly ceremoniously, a slight grin stretching across both men's faces.

"Come on Aang. You can do better than that."

And with that, Zuko came across and gave the monk a friendly embrace, reminding them both that friendships can transcend all titles and differences.

"I was thinking that Katara would be here too…" Aang said with a tinge of sadness, trying to avoid Zuko's gaze.

"She had to return to the Southern Water Tribe for some family matters." Zuko briskly replied.

A moment of silence cut through the two men.

"So how was the Earth Kingdom?" Zuko asked, trying to initiate the conversation.

"It's definitely better now," the young monk responded, showing his trademark optimism, "Most of the rebellion has quieted down."

"That's great to hear Aang. Actually, that's one of the reasons why I called you here." said Zuko, prodding at the airbender's natural curiosity.

"And what would that be?"

"Well, since the Earth Kingdom finally regained control over the rebellion, they are requesting a trial for compensation for losses during the Hundred Years War." Zuko's amber eyes seemed to darken at the thought and it didn't take long for Aang to figure out what the Earth Kingdom was looking for.

"Azula…" Aang sighed, leaning against the desk. The very thought of the fire princess sent a tingling sensation down his spine. After all, it was she who shot the lightning that actually killed him. "I thought she was locked up in that mental asylum."

"Well, reports show that she has fully recovered, and the Earth Kingdom is taking their chance to get revenge." Zuko replied grimly. "The Earth Kingdom is taking their chance to exact their vengeance towards the princess who singlehandedly took down their supposedly unbreakable city of Ba Sing Se." Knowing the odds now stacked against her, Aang knew that the only outcome of the trial would end in blood shed.

"Why do you need me?" inquired the Avatar, his troubled mind further clouded with the new-found predicament.

"You see… I want you to personally escort Azula to the Earth Kingdom trial, which will take place in a week." There was a hardness in Zuko's voice, one that he must have developed over the years of being Firelord.

Considering everything that the fallen princess had done to him, Aang should have accepted these terms without hesitation. But something inside of him nagged at his conscience, that this was wrong, that there must be a better way. Whether it was his airbending teachings that stopped him or his sense of compassion, something caused him to think twice. Everyone deserved someone to believe in them to give them a second chance, even if it was Azula.

"I… I'll do it…" he uttered. Nervously shifting his weight again, he felt as if he was giving out a death warrant with his very words.

Zuko, noticing Aang's slight distaste towards the notion, gave him a reassuring hand on the Avatar's shoulder. Katara's caring personality must have rubbed off on him.

"I know you must feel bad. But this is something you must do, so the ties between the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom can be rebuilt." Zuko said, with the same hardness. "I'm sure in the end, you will pull through this." a reassuring smile on his face.


Riding alongside the clouds in the darkening sky, Aang rode on Appa's back in silent contemplation. As he had promised, he was traveling to the asylum where Azula was held. Gently rubbing his forehead, he watched listlessly around him as the clouds raced by him. Reaching their destination, Aang lowered the bison, eliciting a groan from Appa, landing in front of the marble white building that stood before them.

There was a slight sense of regality that seemed to emanate from the pallid structure of the building. It was specifically built for the intentions of housing and treating the fire princess, as per Firelord Zuko's command. Zuko's sense of distrust for his own flesh and blood seemed to know no bounds, since the building was treated more like a maximum security prison than a hospital for the mentally insane. Guards patrolled the perimeter 24 hours a day, all for just one person. Could she really be that bad? Aang pondered to himself, as he made his way towards the front of the building. As he approached, a slender man in his mid-forties stepped forward from the group of guards.

"It's an honor to meet you Avatar. I am Captain Liu, overseer of this facility. Firelord Zuko has told me about your arrival."

"The pleasure is mine, Captain. So, where are they keeping Azula?"

"She's held on the top floor. I will direct you to her cell, please follow me."

Walking past the double doors, the men were greeted with a large and brightly-lit stairwell leading up to the princess' room. All the while, Aang still could not shrug off the confusion that he felt towards the fallen princess. She may have tried to kill him once before, but did she deserve everything she was going through? Even the way the captain mentioned her "cell" made him cringe. The sea of thoughts washed through him as they approached a large metal door, bolted shut.

"Here we are. My guards will escort you into the cell…" Captain Liu motioned some of the guards towards the bolts.

"Wait, I would like to speak to her alone, Captain." Aang replied, turning to face the captain.

Taken aback, but still keeping his composure, the captain replied, "With all due respect Avatar Aang, even you wouldn't be safe in a cell alone with that… that…monster…"

"I've faced her once and survived, haven't I?" a playful grin plastered across his face, "Don't worry, Captain, I can handle this."

Stepping towards the door, the guards quickly unlocked the door and let the Avatar inside. Aang felt as if he was stepping into unknown territory as he walked further into Azula's cell, or what seemed to turn out to be a two room living space. The resonating sound of the bolts shutting themselves again echoed throughout the rooms, leaving an eerie silence to permeate through the space around him. It struck him immediately that the room resembled more of a simple bedroom than a jail cell. He barely had time to call out for her when he heard her all-to familiar commanding voice from the other room,

"What part of 'Get Out!' do you not understand? I thought I told you fools to leave me alo-"

For the first time in many years, Azula was caught off guard. There was a flicker in her amber eyes as she recognized that it was in fact Aang that stood before her. There was a hesitation, a moment of weakness that just as quickly disappeared as she regained herself, returning to her usual stone-cold glare. She folded her arms, shooting a venomous stare in his direction.

"Come to finally kill me, Avatar?" she whispered tauntingly, trying to bait him.

"Quite the opposite actually. I've come to help you." He took a few steps closer to her.

"Help me?" she cackled, "That's rich, Avatar. After all I've done to you, still you stand next to your self-righteous goals." malice filling every word, "You might as well get out now, because it will never work."

Aang didn't know what to do in the current situation, but deep down, something told him that Azula was hiding something, hiding something behind her stubborn refusal. Call it his Avatar instincts, but he knew Azula needed help. That somewhere inside that angry exterior, there was a lost soul crying out for help, and he was determined to find it.

"You know I'm not going to give up that easily." he replied impishly, causing her to cast another glare at him. After a brief moment of silence, she sighed and slowly turned back to the bedroom.

"Unless you plan on standing guard all night, I suggest you leave. I'm going to sleep." There was no way that even the Avatar should be able to sway her thoughts.

"I'm seriously considering it." replied Aang. There was a sense of playfulness in the Avatar's voice that always irked her to no end. It was an unfamiliar air for the princess, where everyone always seemed to cower in fear around her. Only the Avatar was the exception. She shot him another hateful glare as she slid under the covers and turned away from the Avatar, who had the nerve to pull up a chair next to her bed.

She may be the calm, cool, and collected person she was on the outside, but on the inside she was a mess. The arrival of the Avatar to her supposed "cell" threw her off. He must be here to observe me, she thought to herself. Her weakling of a brother Zuko must have sent him to see if she was fully recovered. She knew better than to believe the Avatar's façade, there was a motive behind him, and was determined to figure it out. Before the grasp of sleep took her in, there was one final thought that came up into the fire princess' mind. Maybe… just maybe… he's actually here to help. Maybe he won't leave like everyone else did…

Sitting next to the sleeping Azula, Avatar Aang was also lost within his own thoughts. Everything he had noticed about her seemed to show that nothing has changed. The old fiery-tempered princess that displayed no sense of compassion or humanity, the honor-bound child that killed him in the catacombs was still asleep before him. But he wanted something more, because unlike everyone else, he pitied her. When he looked at her, he no longer saw a monster, but a soul misguided, lost even.

"Aang…aang…"

He snapped to attention the moment those words came out of her mouth. He glanced over to her, surprised to see that she was still asleep, her black hair cascading down her face and neck. She's so pretty... It was a thought that brought a quick blush to his face. Gingerly, he leaned over and whispered, almost to himself,

"What is it?"

"Don't leave… Don't leave like everyone else…"

He blinked, staring wide-eyed at the young woman sleeping at his side. He had never imagined in a million years that Azula would ever come across as needy, asking for help and from the Avatar no less. This was the chance he wanted, the proof he needed for himself that there was something else with Azula. He placed his hand on hers, feeling her heat emanating from her palm in pulses,

"I won't."

And with that, he leaned back against the chair. He welcomed the calming embrace of sleep as he drifted farther and farther into the never-ending darkness.