Marty Deeks had been seated at his desk for seven minutes when Kensi Blye slid into her chair. He couldn't help but grin as she shot a quick glance over her shoulder toward Hetty's office and then relaxed a little when she realized Hetty was not in sight. But his grin faded when he noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the way her hair didn't seem to have seen much attention that morning.
Four days ago Kensi stood in the small room at the stadium surrounded by thin, red and deadly laser beams. When Deeks found the place where the Russians held her, his relief vanished quickly as she explained that the room was filled with light triggers that would start an explosion designed to kill them.
Marty had never seen Kensi scared, but when he mentioned the bomb squad he knew without a doubt that she was terrified. He could hear the waver in her voice when she told him she couldn't wait. He wanted so desperately to calm her, tell her he was there for her and that he would get her out, but he told her only the truth. When he held out his hands to her before they broke the final barrier, she asked if he was sure. He simply said, "No." When Kensi looked into his eyes she saw fear and determination in addition to something else - something that changed the color of his eyes to a dark thundercloud blue. She wondered if he might be seeing that same something mirrored in her own eyes.
After work he sat on the couch still thinking about his partner and what he could do to help her, and, if he were honest, what he could do to make her happy, make her trust him, make her want to spend time with him… The list was long.
Kensi was never late and certainly never looked tired. Was she having trouble sleeping? Having nightmares? His thoughts were interrupted when Monty, his scruffy dog, jumped onto the couch. Wagging his tail slowly he gave a small woof that meant, "I'm bored. Can we play?" then scrambled down again and trotted to a basket containing his well-loved toy collection. He pushed with his nose and then his feet until he made it to the bottom of the pile. Tail waving, he picked up an object and proudly carried it back to the couch.
Marty was once again lost in thought. If he showed his concern for her, Kensi would most likely be embarrassed and then get angry. "Gotta work on that," he thought. She seemed to be more comfortable around him lately and might even be starting to trust him – but they had miles to go.
Deeks startled a little when Monty's cold nose interrupted his thoughts. "What Bud?" He said quietly. "You find something to play with?" As he moved his hand toward the dog's mouth his face lit up with the first real smile he'd managed in days. "You, my fine canine friend, are a genius!" he exclaimed as he took a small laser pointer from the dog and wiped it on his pants.
Deeks knew that this could help Kensi, but he needed a plan.
When Deeks brought Monty home from the animal shelter, the dog was unresponsive –not aggressive, just not involved. As the days passed, there were hours of walks, morning runs on the beach, couch time and eventually they found common ground in toys. Stuffed animals were prey and lasted just a short time. Tennis balls were striped naked in minutes. Plastic balls lasted several days and provided more fun as Marty threw the ball hard and Monty raced back with it time and again. Then, accidentally, Deeks switched on a small laser pointer while Monty was asleep in the room. Instantly recognizing the sound, the dog leaped up and waited, body tense, staring intently at the device. Curious, Deeks swung the small, red beam across the floor toward the waiting dog. His feet scrabbled wildly as he took off after the tiny spot. Twenty minutes later the dog was flopped on his side, completed spent, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. Marty sat on the floor next to him, clutching his stomach and wiping away tears of laughter. That was the day they became partners. All because of a tiny, red beam of light.
Friday morning, five days after the explosion, the whole team spent most of their day doing paper work and being bored, Deeks watched his partner struggle through the piles of paper on her desk – she really looked tired. Finished with his own pile he drummed his fingertips on his desk until Kensi snapped.
"Deeks, can you keep it down? There are other people here trying to work."
"Sorry, Kens," he replied meekly.
Half and hour later, he stood up from his desk and stretched before squaring his shoulders and giving a small what-the-hell shrug. "Hey, Kensi?" He asked as he walked up beside her, flinching when she jumped and spun to face him.
"Do not sneak up on me, Deeks!" she pressed out through clenched teeth.
"Sorry. I really didn't sneak. You were kind of staring off into space…" he babbled. "Smooth Deeks," he thought to himself.
"What?" she grunted.
"Oh," he mumbled while he watched her face, recognizing exhaustion and her irritation with him. He took a deep breath. "Well. I don't want you to think this is weird, cause it's not, I swear, but I wondered if you'd come have dinner with me tonight." At the look of total confusion on her face he hurried on. " I really love to cook and you've had a tough week. But mostly I want you to see this thing Monty does. It's totally cool and I know it'll make you laugh. Please?" He finished weakly.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
Kensi was so tired and, she suddenly realized, very hungry. She knew from the look on his face that it would be easier to agree than argue and besides, she thought, "I really like that crazy dog." So, still trying to seem reluctant she hesitated and then grumped, "Okay."
A couple hours later Marty heard a knock. It was tentative, which surprised him. When he reached the door he said, "Yeah?" and grinned when Kensi replied.
His grin faded when he realized that she sounded odd. Hurt? Afraid? Lonely? Kensi…? He swung open the door. She stood in the glare of the porch light. Her face was pale, dark eyes rimmed with red and cheeks flushed. Crying Kensi. That was something new.
"Come in."
He said it quietly and reached for her arm to pull her gently inside. She was uncomfortable and he was not going to give her a chance to change her mind and leave. He could feel her shivering through his hand that lingered on her tense arm. She looked up at him from only inches away but he couldn't read the emotions racing across her face. He didn't move out of her personal space while he held her gaze; hoping somehow she would know he was there to catch her.
"You look like you could use a beer."
Marty carried two bottles from the refrigerator into the small living room. He patted the couch next to him as he sat down and opened both bottles. "Have a seat." he said, trying to sound casual. She settled on the opposite end and took the beer he held out. Monty joined them on the couch and flopped down next to Kensi. She automatically scratched his head.
They drank in silence for a minute or two. Kensi fiddled with the label and wiped away tiny droplets as her bottle began to sweat.
She took in a breath and opened her mouth ready to speak, then closed it again. "I shouldn't have come here." She whispered and started to get up.
"Yes, you should." Deeks said quietly but with feeling. "Kensi, you and I are partners. It's my job to have your back and look out for you! It's my responsibility – what I get paid to do." Then after a pause and a sigh, he continued. "And, I want to be here for you now because I care about you. That's the part I don't get paid for, I guess." He said, and gave her a small smile. "I'm hoping maybe we can talk. After dinner," he said with a grin and pulled her to her feet. "It's ready."
"I didn't know you could cook. Where'd you learn?" She asked.
"I worked in a restaurant all through High School. I started busing tables, moved up to washing dishes and by the time I left I could do just about any job in the place including cooking. Small place, nice folks, really good food. It's still open outside of Venice Beach. I could take you there. You'd love it."
Pulling out her chair Deeks helped her sit down at the improvised dining table. The furniture might be vintage Sally Anne's but the food looked and smelled delicious.
"Wow." Kensi said "What is all this?"
'Well, there's chicken with sundried tomatoes, prosciutto, and parmesan cheese in phyllo, rice with pine nuts and a delightful medley of mixed peppers." He replied, gving his voice the singsong quality of an upscale waiter.
Kensi had no idea how hungry she was until she bit into the crispy paper-thin crust that covered the chicken. It was all fabulous and in what seemed like no time the plates and beer bottles were empty. The food and alcohol had definitely lightened the mood by the time they settled back onto the couch with bowls of triple chocolate ice cream. When every bit of frosty chocolate delight was gone Marty picked up the laser pointer from the table and grinned. "Now, Kensi, watch this"
At the click of the pointer, Monty was on his feet. Deeks let him warm up a little by moving him slowly around the room following the light beam. Monty's tail wagged faster and faster. After a minute or two they picked up speed and soon the scruffy dog was banking up the sides of the couch, flying over pieces of furniture and even running up the walls. Watching with her mouth slightly open and a huge smile on her face, Kensi couldn't help but laugh out loud. She briefly wondered when she had last done that.
After several minutes of the amazing antics, Deeks clicked off the pointer then fondly rubbed the top of Monty's wiry head when he lay down at his feet. "Nice job, boy," he quipped. "You made the lady laugh!"
"That's an understatement!" she choked out, still short of breath. "Okay, so I see why you love this crazy dog."
"Yeah. We're good together. We both get wild about the stuff we love…" he chuckled, his eyes completely focused on Kensi's.
" See - he's my partner." Marty's voice was lower and more serious. "He counts on me to take care of him. To find a way to help him if he needs it. Or just to listen if there's stuff bothering him and he needs to talk…"
The ridiculousness of what he was saying wasn't lost on Kensi – but as she thought about the words, about him, she knew he was right.
They were both very quiet for what seemed like an eternity and then Kensi spoke. "I can't sleep. I close my eyes and see red beams and then there are these stupid, huge spiders with red eyes and they're pulling me back, away from you and we're both screaming…" Kensi stopped and rubbed her hand over the blush that rose up her cheeks.
Finding himself at a loss for words Marty hesitated briefly then gathered her into his arms and pulled her tight against his chest. She was all corners in his arms, stiff and tense - making it difficult for him to hold her. But when he didn't make fun of her, or tease her or let her go, she softened into him. Her tears fell silently and it was the growing wet spot on his shirt that made him sure she was crying. He continued to hold her, patiently, firmly, occasionally murmuring comfort into her hair or rubbing his hand across the back of her neck.
When the tears stopped, Kensi was relaxed. She lifted her face until dark eyes met light. Both of them quiet, each with their own thoughts. Finally, Marty took a deep breath, pressed a gentle kiss to Kensi's forehead and quietly said.
"Okay, I have something I'd like to show you. But you'll think it's strange at first. Do you trust me?"
Kensi hesitated a moment and then nodded.
"Just remember that." Marty chuckled, pulled her gently to her feet and wrapped her in a hug. Only after she relaxed back into his chest did he start across the room pulling her after him. When he turned into the bedroom Kensi stopped short.
"No way, Deeks, you've got to be kidding!"
"Really. Really? Kensi, you said you trust me. I promise this is not some juvenile scheme to get you into my bed. Well, not like your think. This is the darkest room in the house and that's why we're in here. Please. Lie down on the bed. I won't touch you."
The nights of not sleeping and the hangover from crying left Kensi too worn out to fight. With a glare she kicked off her shoes and flopped on her back as close to the edge as possible. She felt the mattress move as Marty climbed onto the opposite side. Then she heard his voice hardly above a whisper.
"Remember when you were a kid on the fourth of July? We'd get sparklers and before the real show started we'd get to light them. My favorite part was how you could wave them around and see the path of light they left. You know? You could write in the sky with them and read what you wrote? Did you ever do that Kens?
"Yeah." She murmured. "I liked that too."
There was a click and a tiny red dot appeared on the ceiling above their heads. Kensi gasped softly but relaxed as she watched it. The light dipped and swung. It made circles and spirals and lightening bolts. Moments passed and she began to feel calm and very sleepy. Just as her eyes were beginning to droop she noticed that the patterns on the ceiling were different. Yawning, she made herself concentrate on the light and recognized that the beams were now forming letters. Words. What does it say?
"I' G.O.T.Y.O.U.B.A.C.K.
Over and over the red beam spelled out the simple message.
He sounded nervous when he finally spoke. "It actually has a double meaning. Sort of. I mean, it could if you said it in kind of a gangsta voice." His voice trailed off and he held his breath waiting for her response.
At first he thought he's screwed up again and made her cry but soon figured out it was Kensi's laughter that was making her body shake. It came from deep in her throat and he thought it was possibly the most wonderful sound he had ever heard.
Still making the beam play over the dark ceiling he felt her move closer to him until her head came to rest in the dip between his shoulder and chest.
"I get it, Deeks." And then a moment later, "I guess I just need to be reminded that I'm not alone."
Kensi curled herself into his side and slid her arm across his waist. Deeks wove his fingers into hers and smiled as he clicked off the laser pointer. "Just sleep, Kens." He said as he pulled a quilt over them both. "Sometimes lasers can be our friends"
