Disclaimers: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. J.R.R. Tolkien does. Some inspiration for Robot Legolas came from Rob Riggle's picks on the NFL Sunday Pre-Game Show.
*.*.*
"Ooh." One squeamish fangirl approached the lifelike Legolas. "Hello. I'm…"
"Affirmative," the robot Legolas said, "what is your purpose here?"
"To fall in love with Legolas," the fangirl said with a grin.
"Legolas…" the robot gave it some thought, "…doesn't ring a bell."
"Come on. You are Legolas," the fangirl said.
"Legolas is not present," the robot said in its monotonous voice. "State your purpose here."
"I came here to find Legolas. You are Legolas," the fangirl said, frustrated.
"Legolas is not here. State your presence," the robot said.
"Aren't you Legolas?" the fangirl asked. This was getting ridiculous. Surely this was the closest she could get to be with Legolas. Why didn't the robot understand her? "Is Legolas here? You are Legolas, correct."
"Negative. Please move or you will be thrown out," the robot said.
"I'd like to give it a try," a second fangirl said.
"This robot's ridiculous. It won't lead us to the real Legolas," the first fangirl said.
"Negative. Legolas, real or robotic, is not here," the robot said.
"He's over there," the second fangirl whispered to the first, pointing to a corner.
"Negative. Legolas is not here," the robot spoke, but so did an elegant, manly elvish voice.
"I told you this might not work," Pippin Took whispered behind a curtain.
"Maybe we should try something else," Merry Brandybuck said, also behind a curtain.
"Negative… I…" Pippin turned around. The curtain was pulled back, revealing the two hobbits. "Um… hi. How are you?" He asked through the microphone.
"Where's Legolas?" the two fangirls asked.
"This isn't the end!" Legolas yelped, fleeing the tent. Pippin waited until the fangirls breezed out the tent, before speaking into the microphone again.
"What a beautiful day. Ha ha ha!"
The End.
*.*.*
Thanks for reading. :)
