The Strangers and the Remote
By: Missysillivan
Dedicated to: My Bestest Friend Amanda
Summary: Two strange girls appear out of thin air one evening thanks to a remote. One drools constantly over Kakashi, the other, a match maker. Their time spent in the Naruto realm is full of demanding females, slobber, and continuous screaming. And its all thanks to that damn remote. (OCC; OC; AU-kinda; SasuSaku; one-sided KakaOC)
A/N: So I guess you could call this a crack fic...but I'm not to sure. This is really just a parody, the outcome of a really big sugar high. Please, no flames, this is just for fun. It makes me sad when people flame me. I realize this is a random story and that it is stupid, but hey, the point of fanfiction is to write your own stories, no matter how dumb. With that said, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the OCs. They are real people.
"Kakashi-sensei, you should really not be so late next time. This has to be seriously the latest you've ever been." Sakura lectured as she paced back and forth.
"Tsh, I can't believe I actually waited fifteen hours for you to show up." Sasuke muttered to himself as he sent a death glare towards his former sensei.
"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei! What's the deal? Are you on drugs or something?" Naruto questioned as he sat cross legged in front of the Jonin.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry I was so late. Next time, I won't be fifteen hours late. Now will you untie me from the tree?" Kakashi asked desperately.
"No. Not until you learned your lesson." Sakura huffed before turning to walk away.
"This is so unfair!" Kakashi groaned as he watched Sasuke turn to follow Sakura away.
"Well, now you know how I felt when you tied me to that stupid log during the bell test." Naruto screamed before running after Sasuke and Sakura.
"This bites." Kakashi fidgeted a moment before finally letting out a sigh and relaxing.
----
"Hey, Sakura-chan, do you really think he will be okay tied to a tree?" Naruto asked worriedly.
"Nope." Sakura replied with a childish smile.
Sasuke and Naruto stopped dead in their tracks and just stared at the smiling pink haired medic.
"So you left him there?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yep." Sakura giggled. "We'll go retrieve him after dinner."
Sakura then grabbed Sasuke and Naruto's wrists and dragged them towards the infamous ramen stand.
Twenty minutes later the three seventeen-year-olds were seated and digging into their first bowl…well fifth for Naruto.
"I swear his blood is ramen juice." Sakura mumbled to Sasuke who smirked at her appalled face.
"I think he will die from to much ramen intake." Sasuke replied as he to watched Naruto inhale his sixth bowl.
"I'm not paying." Sakura muttered to herself before finishing her bowl.
"I second that."
After a few minutes Sakura and Sasuke stood up suddenly and turned to Naruto.
"See ya Naruto, we're going to go get Kakashi-sensei now!" Sakura yelled as the duo flew out of the small hut.
"Alright! I'll see you guys-HEY!" Naruto jumped up and glared at the retreating back of his teammates.
"That was eight bowls of ramen so…" The owner began to do the math on his hands, however when he looked up, the curtain was blowing with the wind, and the departure of a certain blonde haired, knuckle headed ninja. "HEY!"
----
"So, the infamous two return." Kakashi growled as Sasuke and Sakura stopped in front of him.
"So, have we learned a lesson, or will we have to leave you here until morning for our training session?" Sakura asked with a threat tied to her overly peppy voice.
"I learned my lesson!" Kakashi said suddenly.
"Good. Sasuke-kun, the chakra string please." Sasuke grunted and then unbound the Jonin before going back to Sakura's side.
"Hey, that wasn't very nice!" Naruto screamed as he stopped his frantic running in the middle of the three Shinobi.
"Naruto, you're an idiot." Sakura moaned as she dropped her head.
Then suddenly, there was a….
BANG!!!!
"That. Was. Totally. WICKED!" Screamed a voice.
"Let's do that again!" Came another.
The four Shinobi stood frozen to their spots as the smoked cleared and there stood the form of two females.
The first was a girl with very short light brown hair wearing a pair of loose jeans and a soft ball jersey with matching dark blue flip-flops. Her hair was pulled back by a white ribbon while she held an overly large remote in her hand.
The second girl was just a little shorter then the first with long brown hair that fell near the middle of her back. She wore a black t-shirt and dark blue Capri jean with matching black flip-flops. She had a large smile plastered to her face and her brown eyes sparkled as they took in everything.
"We actually made it!" The first girl laughed.
"I know! We survived! Hallelujah!" The second joined in.
"Who the hell are you? And where did you come from?" Both girl's froze as Sakura and Sasuke appeared behind them, Sakura holding a kunai to the first girl's throat while Sasuke held his katana's blade to the second. "Answer me damn it!" Sakura hissed.
"Melissa. Sasuke is pinning you." The first girl squealed.
"I know! And Kakashi is leaning against that tree!" The girl, apparently named Melissa, replied as she began jumping up and down, completely forgetting that there was a sword to her throat.
Sasuke gripped the girl's arm to make her stop moving while looking to Sakura was a seriously confused expression.
"Explain yourselves." Kakashi hissed as he and Naruto made their way to the two new people.
"So we were totally having this completely spectacular sleep over at Melissa's mom's house and we got bored so we called this random number because we wanted to prank call them, but then the guy was all like "sorry but this number is out of service" so Melissa got mad and decided to recall the number but then it kept ringing and then this weird guy appeared in her room with 'poof' and he was all like, "hello, how would you like to go to a spectacular new world and meet the men of your dreams?" and we were all like, "totally that would be so much unbelievable fun" and so he was all like "well here, take this remote and type in what world you want to go to" and so like Melissa took it and sent us to "Ghost in the Shell" and like we met the Major and Batou and all these really weird androids and then I was like well I wanna try and so she was like, okay, you decide where you wanna go, so I was like okay and then I decided to go to Naruto and now we are here totally meeting you guys." Amanda said in one breath. As she stood speaking the two girls looked at the four Shinobi surrounding to see them all staring at them as if they were crazy. (A/N: Dude that was totally just one sentence.)
"What? It's true." Melissa shrugged before turning completely around and facing Sasuke. "You're really cute in person. No wonder Sakura is in love with you and is desperately dreaming you'll marry her."
At this Sakura turned twenty shades of red instantaneously. "What are you talking about?" She gasped as Sasuke looked towards her.
"I think we should take these two to the hokage." Kakashi said finally.
"Yeah." Naruto agreed as he and Kakashi took the two out of Sakura and Sasuke's custody.
"Oh my god, Kakashi is touching you, Amanda." Melissa gasped.
"I know." Amanda watched Kakashi with hearts in her eyes as they were escorted to the Hokage's mansion.
Sasuke watching Sakura as she clenched her fists and glared daggers at the one named Melissa.
"Are you okay, Sakura?" Sasuke asked carefully.
"Just. Peachy." Sakura replied through clenched teeth.
"Okay then." Sasuke took two steps away from the fuming girl.
After a few moments the six arrived at the door to Tsunade's office. Kakashi knocked twice and then entered once the command was given.
"Who are they?" Tsunade asked as Melissa and Amanda were forced into the two seats in front of the hokage.
"Holy crap, Manny, it's the hokage. Tsunade." Melissa said with stars in her eyes as she spoke to her friend.
"I know Missy. I know." Amanda replied as she patted the girl on the back.
"Again, who are they?" Tsunade asked as she moved back a little from the two girls.
"So far, we have figured that their names are Melissa and Amanda and they claim to have come from an alternate universe." Sakura replied as she unconsciously moved closer to Sasuke, who didn't mind at all.
"You know, I seriously think that Ino and Shikamaru should get together." Melissa stated bluntly.
"Yeah, I agree. I don't think Temari would be good with him, she's like three years older then him." Amanda replied thoughtfully.
"Totally. I seriously think that there needs to be more females. I mean seriously, what about poor Shino, Gaara, Kankuro, Lee, Chouji, and Kiba."
"What about Hinata?"
"No she totally belongs with Naruto."
"You're right. What was I thinking. She doesn't belong with Kiba."
"Yes."
"What about Neji?"
"He totally has Tenten. They are made for each other."
"That's true."
"I still think Itachi is totally hot. Although I still don't get the fish guy. What was his name?"
"Tuna?"
"No, that wasn't it."
"Salmon?"
"No."
"Bass."
"No. That's like a bass guitar or a section in the band."
"Oh, right, I forgot. What about snapper?"
"No."
"Crab?"
"That's not a fish."
"Its counted as seafood."
"That's true. But still doesn't make it a fish."
"Oh, sorry."
"Will you two just shut up already!" Sakura screamed as Sasuke grabbed her around the waist to stop her from attacking.
"Sasuke's totally hot."
"I know, Melissa."
"Enough!" Tsunade slammed down her hands as she glared at the two new comers. "Why are you here?"
"A remote came into our possession that allowed us to visit you." Melissa replied as she hit Amanda upside the head, who was currently drooling at Kakashi. "People really should learn that technology and us don't mix."
"I agree." Amanda replied before beginning her drool fest once more.
"What are we going to do with them, Tsunade-shishou?" Sakura asked as she continued to glare that the two girls.
"I don't know. They don't seem to pose a threat." Tsunade replied as she watched them intently.
Amanda was currently drooling at Kakashi, with a puddle forming under her, and Melissa had her arms crossed over her chest and she was glaring at the back of Amanda's head for her childish antics.
"I think I will place them in your care Sakura. Just don't kill them." Tsunade finally concluded. "Uchiha, Uzumaki. You two shall report to Sakura's house in the morning to help her with Amanda and Melissa. Kakashi, if I may have a word with you."
"Hai." The four Shinobi replied before Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura escorted Melissa and Amanda to Sakura house.
----
"We will take the couch, Sakura." Melissa said after they entered the small apartment.
"Yeah, its no problem. Melissa and I sleep on hers all the time." Amanda put in as she moved so Sasuke and Naruto could enter the room.
"Well, we will be going now." Naruto announced. "If you need any help, Sakura-chan, you know who to call!"
"Hai. Arigato, Sasuke-kun. Naruto." Sakura replied with a small smile.
"Good night." Naruto smiled before leaving.
"Night." Sasuke turned and left. Two hearts fell as the door closed behind him.
"I still don't get why you are obsessed with him." Amanda shrugged.
"Don't insult him!" Sakura and Melissa snapped at the same time.
"That's it! We are having an estrogen meeting!" Melissa announced as she grabbed Sakura and Amanda by the wrist and dragged them to the couch and pushed them both back onto it before taking a seat in the large comfy chair beside it.
"What?" Amanda asked confused.
"Sakura, we are going to help you with your love life!" Melissa smiled as she crossed her legs, sat upright, and folded her hands in her lap. This was her psychiatrist mode.
"But I don't need any help with my love life. Not to mention I just met you two not even an hour ago. What would you know?" Sakura snapped as she looked back and forth frantically between the two women.
"Trust me. We know more then you think." Amanda said in a warning tone.
"Now, do you still love Sasuke?" Melissa asked as she leaned forward.
"Um…hai." Sakura said weakly.
"Good, that always helps." Amanda smiled with an affirming nod.
"Amanda, shut up." Melissa sighed. "Now, as much as I love Sasuke and lust after his body like no other, I am willing to hook you two up because, as a friend, I am just that good." Sakura raised an eye brow at this.
"Will you help me get Kakashi?" Amanda asked out of nowhere.
"Amanda, no. However, I will allow you to take one hot picture of him with my cell phone since I brought mine and you didn't." Melissa replied as if she was talking to a two year old.
"Okay!" Amanda smiled giddily at this.
"Okay, so what are we going to do?" Sakura asked unsure, but a little more into this whole idea.
"Leave that all to me. I will be having a heart to heart with that really hot ice cube."
"You are totally contradicting yourself. How can he be hot but an ice cube?" Amanda asked as she cocked a know-all eyebrow.
"You apparently don't know Sasuke." Melissa counted while Sakura nodded her head in agreement.
"Anyway, I just need you to be ready to accept a date on a moment's notice." Melissa told Sakura while Amanda went back to dreaming not so appropriate thoughts about Kakashi.
"Will she be okay?" Sakura asked as she watched the drool flow out of Amanda's mouth.
"She will be." Melissa smiled evilly.
----
"SAKURA-CHAN!"
"NARUTO! SHUT UP!" Sakura stormed downstairs and flung the apartment door open and then nailed Naruto in the head with a chakra infused fist.
"OW!" Naruto cried as Sasuke stepped over his fallen friend and entered the apartment.
A loud thud was heard as Sakura closed the door just as Naruto was walking through the door, causing him to walk into it.
"Oops, sorry Naruto." Sakura laughed nervously as she opened the door once more.
"So, I see you made it through the night." Sasuke commented as he stared at the mangled bodies of Amanda and Melissa on the couch.
"I didn't touch them. They both agreed to sleep on the couch and this was how I found them in the morning. I swear!" Sakura spoke quickly while Sasuke raised an amused eyebrow at the pink haired girl. "They are actually very nice once you get to know them, although Amanda tends to drool over Kakashi-sensei."
"MORNING!" Amanda screamed happily.
"Shut up Amanda!" Melissa groaned as she promptly kicked the girl off of the couch. "Oops, sorry Amanda, forgot you were there." Melissa smiled evily as she moved away from the angry brunette.
"You always forget that I am here." Amanda hissed.
"Now, now, no need to get angry at me. You were the one who forgot that I stretch when I wake." Melissa chuckled nervously before disappearing and then reappearing behind Sasuke. "Save me." She choked out.
"How do you do that?" Amanda asked as she scratched her head.
"And welcome to my life." Sakura nodded her head as she watched the duo argue back and forth.
"Right, well, Kakashi-sensei said no training today. I say, we go out for a walk and show Amanda-chan and Melissa-chan around Konoha." Naruto said enthusiastically.
"I agree." Sakura smiled as she followed the blonde out of the apartment.
Once every one was outside the apartment, Sakura locked the door and then they began their trek in the beautiful morning sunshine.
"Say, Sasuke, can I speak with you for a moment?" Melissa asked slyly after a few minutes.
Sakura whipped her head around and watching intently as Sasuke nodded hesitantly and then dropped back with the new comer.
"What is it?" Sasuke asked after a few minutes of silence.
"Sasuke, I wanted to ask you something important. Now, before I ask you the question of said importance, I need you to remember that Amanda and I are leaving very soon so what ever is told to us will not be repeated to any of the villagers. Now, I need you're utmost honesty, and remember I can tell if you are lying or not, so just make this easy and tell the truth." Sasuke watched the girl annoyed as she rambled. "Do you love Sakura?"
Sasuke's eyes went wide as he turned his head away and glared at the ground in front of his feet.
"Well?" Melissa pressured.
"Hn." Sasuke refused to look at the brunette.
"Hn..." Melissa stopped suddenly and then grasped Sasuke's chin and brought his face down to eye level. "Now listen Uchiha, I may think you are totally hot and worth kidnapping just to make you my slave for life, but I have decided to let you go as long as Sakura's unrequited love is returned to her before I leave, because you see mister, I can very easily drag you back to my world with me, and I don't think that you would like that very much. So now tell me. What the fuck does 'hn' mean?"
"Yes. Now let me go." Sasuke hissed as he slapped Melissa's hand away.
"Good. Now go ask her out on a date." Melissa commanded.
"What?" Sasuke asked dumbfound. Damn did this girl have mood swings.
"I'm menstruating, Uchiha, don't make me repeat myself. Go ask her out on a date." Melissa hissed as she once more grasped Sasuke's chin.
"Okay, fine." Sasuke huffed as he walked forward to catch up with every one.
"Now that my work is done…" Melissa smiled. "AMANDA!"
"WHAT?"
"COME ON! WE NEED TO FIND KAKASHI!"
"YAY!"
The three Shinobi watched wide-eyed as the two girls ran off in search of their perverted former sensei.
"Well that was definitely weird." Sakura commented.
"I say. They are worse then the dobe." Sasuke muttered.
"Yeah…HEY!" Naruto hissed. "I'm going to ramen. Maybe I'll meet Hinata on the way." Naruto mumbled to himself before walking away.
"How cute. Naruto is finally realizing that Hinata likes him." Sakura smiled as she watched Naruto walk away.
"Sakura." Sasuke spoke hesitantly as he watched the girl turn to look at him.
"Yes? What is it, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked as she turned to fully face the raven haired boy. She was praying that Melissa said something to get Sasuke to ask her out on a date.
"Wanna go out to a movie tonight?" Sasuke asked after a moment's pause.
"Sure. I would love to." Sakura smiled as they began walking in the direction of the ramen stand.
----
"So, Amanda, have you decided what you were going to do in your picture with Kakashi?" Melissa asked slyly as the duo walked in the direction of the memorial stone.
"Nope." Amanda smile cheerfully.
"Why are you so happy?" Melissa asked confused.
"I'm getting a picture taken with Kakashi!" Amanda squealed.
"Right." Melissa rolled her eyes as she continued to walk with her friend.
"What did you talk to Sasuke about?" Amanda asked curiously.
"I just told him to take Sakura out on a date because he loved her."
"Did he admit that he loved her?"
"Yep."
"Good."
"Yes."
Melissa and Amanda stopped in front of the memorial stone and both bowed their heads to give a silent prayer.
"I wish that Sarutobi lived. Its sad to think that the third lost his life trying to stop his own student." Amanda said quietly.
"Yes, just like Hayate lost his life because of Baki. To many deaths, that's for sure." Melissa replied solemnly. She then suddenly stood up right and turned around. "Kakashi, I know that you are in the trees! Come out!"
"How did you know?" Kakashi asked as he appeared in front of the two girls.
"I didn't. I actually just always really wanted to say that." Melissa shrugged as Amanda turned and began drooling. Again.
"Um…yeah…" Kakashi moved slightly away from the girl.
"Stay still, and Amanda stop drooling over the Hatake!" Melissa snapped. "Picture time!" She squealed as she pulled out her cell phone and readied it.
Amanda pounced on Kakashi and gripped him in a tight hug while Melissa took the picture. It was fairly cute. Amanda smiling like a maniac while hugging the life out of Kakashi. Then there was Kakashi with a surprised and slightly pained look on his face standing straight as a board.
"Cute!" Melissa smiled as Amanda moved to see the picture.
"I like it!" Amanda laughed happily while the two girl skipped off towards the ramen stand while dragging along Kakashi.
----
The evening sunset cast shades of oranges, pinks, and reds across the dimming blue sky as two anxious females paced the full length of the apartment, awaiting the return of their host.
"Seriously, its like seven thirty. Where is she?" Melissa snapped as she passed Amanda for the millionth time.
"I don't know." Amanda replied.
Two hours later, the unpleasant snoring of Amanda rung through the silent house as once again, Melissa and Amanda's bodies began mangled together as they slept on the couch, still awaiting the return of a certain pink hair kunoichi.
----
"Thank you for tonight, Sasuke-kun." Sakura blushed lightly as Sasuke walked her to her front door. "It was a lot of fun."
"I had a lot of fun, too. I'm glad you like it." Sasuke replied as Sakura turned to look up at him. "How would you like to go out again sometime?"
"I would love it." Sakura smiled brightly as she once again blushed.
"You are truly the most beautiful creature I have ever seen." Sasuke smirked as he leaned down.
Sakura wasn't given a chance to respond as Sasuke's lips crashed down on hers. Instinctively, Sakura wrapped her arms around Sasuke neck while his own arms wrapped around Sakura's waist. He deepened the kiss by nipping Sakura' lower lip, asking permission to enter.
Sakura parted her lips and welcomed Sasuke fully. She pressed her body more to his as she pulled him down while his arms tightened around her waist.
After a few minutes, Sasuke pulled back because of lack of oxygen.
"Good night, blossom." Sasuke smirked as Sakura grew twenty shades brighter.
"Good night, Sasuke-kun." Sakura stumbled into her apartment, leaving the smirking Uchiha outside.
"Where have you been?" Amanda snapped as she crossed her arms.
"How was is it? Did he kiss you?" Melissa asked excited as the blushing kunoichi moved timidly towards them.
"Its was great! HE KISSED ME!" Sakura and Melissa screamed as they jumped around in circles excitedly.
Amanda rolled her eyes and moved back to the couch to sleep.
----
"Well this is good bye." Melissa said with a small smile.
"Yeah, we need to get back home." Amanda sniffled.
"It was great meeting you. Please return." Sakura smiled as she hugged the two girls.
"Don't worry. We will." Melissa smiled as Naruto moved in for a hug.
"Yeah, we had fun!" Naruto smiled as he moved on to Amanda.
"Hn." Sasuke wasn't one for human contact, but that didn't stop Melissa.
She moved towards him and hugged him, but what caught him off guard was when she kissed him. However, just as quickly came, she went. "God, you're hot." Melissa groaned as she turned to say good bye to Kakashi.
"Good bye, Kakashi." Melissa gave a small hug to Kakashi before moving to Sakura's side.
"Kakashi!" Amanda screamed as tears flowed down her cheeks like waterfalls anime style. "I'll miss you!" She continued as she caught him in a bone crushing hug.
"Hai, hai. And I'll miss you just let me go!" Kakashi gasped as Amanda cried on him.
"I'll miss you, my love!" Amanda said dramatically.
"Amanda! Pull yourself together woman!" Melissa hissed.
"Right." She sniffled before moving Melissa's side.
"Thank you." Sakura whispered before moving over by Sasuke.
"You're welcome." Melissa smiled cheerfully as Amanda pulled out the remote.
"So should we go to Prince of Tennis. I hear Ryomo and Sakuno are having a difficult time.
"Nah, lets go to Full Metal Alchemist. Ed and Winry need a talking to."
"Yeah. Not to mention Roy. He's so hot."
"What about Fruit's Basket?"
"YES! I wanna see KYO!"
"Done."
"Good."
BOOM!!!!
And then they were gone.
"Thank god, I thought she would never leave." Kakashi sighed happily.
"That's not nice. I like them." Sakura smiled as Sasuke pulled her to his side. "They really help out."
"I agree." Sasuke smiled before gently kissing Sakura.
"Ew. Gross." Naruto said simply before turning to head back into the city. "WHO WANTS RAMEN?"
Enter three groans here.
THE END
There are no words to describe how this story came about. Now I quiz you. What is my real name? If you have seen my profile page then this should be fairly easy to figure out.
Anyway, I'm not looking for reviews really. This was just written for fun and because of a sugar high. Although I don't accept flames.
iMiSsYsIlLiVaN!
