Disclaimer: y'all know the drill.

Author's note: in another work, I came up with the line 'never piss off the nurses.' I didn't have time to do the concept justice in that work, so I'm rectifying that omission here. Hospital administrators, take note!

Another note: this is the first of three stand alone stories, loosely connected by one Goa'uld


Teknet Trilogy: One

Out of the Pack

By OughtaKnowBetter

"Ow," said Dr. Daniel Jackson.

"Sorry," Dr. Janet Frasier muttered, not really paying attention. She continued to poke and prod at the miniscule site, finally taking up a magnifying glass to examine the spot. There was a small puncture wound with some barely visible bruising around it. Anyone not looking very closely would have dismissed it as a freckle on the back of Daniel's shoulder. "I don't really see anything. How do you feel?"

"Ridiculous," Daniel replied with some annoyance from his place on the examining table, bare back facing the rest of the crowd. "We didn't have to cut the mission short for this, Jack. I wanted to look at more of the stone carvings. SG-3 listed more cave writings that they didn't get enough pictures of. There were more soil samples that Sam could've taken."

"All finished," Captain Samantha Carter chirped. "We weren't staying on my account."

"You could've been poisoned." O'Neill wasn't taking any back talk from the civilian member of his team. He still remembered the plummeting feeling in the pit of his stomach when Carter had radioed that the natives had attacked. O'Neill and Teal'c had broken the world sprinting records getting back to the pair, and had hustled the archeologist through the Stargate at top speed. It didn't matter that the natives had immediately disappeared after drawing first blood. O'Neill wasn't having any of it. "Wouldn't have been the first time, Daniel. Are you sure that you feel okay?"

"I'm fine." Daniel smiled to take the sting out of his voice.

"No head-ache? No dizziness? No numbness anywhere?"

"Aren't those my lines?" Frasier asked tartly. "Out of my way, colonel. You brought him back because he got shot with a dart, now let me do my job." She turned back to her patient. "Everything looks the way it ought to right now. I can't find anything wrong. Routine blood work, then I'll let you go back to work. Are you certain you feel all right?"

"Completely normal," Daniel reassured her, getting up from the table. He tossed a glance at O'Neill, who was watching him closely just in case there really was some dizziness that Daniel was trying to hide from them. "Jack just overreacted." Daniel then paused, eying the doctor suspiciously. "Uh…you are letting me go home tonight, right? Not keeping me overnight?"

"I don't see any reason why not, as long as the blood work comes back the way I like it. And—" she added as Daniel grabbed his shirt, "as long as you take along a babysitter."

"Janet—!"

"Not a problem." O'Neill overrode his objections. "Daniel, you're coming home with me tonight. Pizza, beer, football. Sleep; ever hear of that?"

"I've got three projects still waiting in my office—"

"And they can continue to wait." O'Neill grinned. "Let's go, before Doc changes her mind."


"I'm telling you, Sam, if I weren't so normal, I'd be getting paranoid." Daniel handed Carter a mug of steaming coffee, ignoring the disbelieving snort that emanated from that direction. Daniel Jackson, normal? On which planet? Carter sipped appreciatively; Daniel, with his well-known addiction to caffeine, made the best pot around and Carter tried to make it a habit to visit him every day in his office around coffee-break time. "We get to Jack's place last night, and his neighbor's dog, a yappy little Chihuahua named Fido, bites my hand. 'I don't understand it, Fido's never acted this way before. He loves everybody,' the neighbor says. Everybody except me. This morning I get up and there's a flock of birds staring at me through the window. It felt like a Hitchcock movie. They just sat there, staring, not even chirping. Weird. One of 'em even rams the window. Lucky they're small, or I'd be paying for a new pane of glass."

Carter finished her first sip, and leaned back. "You do realize we're back on Earth, Daniel. Strange things don't happen here. Are you sure you're not exaggerating? Maybe you stepped on Fido's paw and didn't realize it. What did Colonel O'Neill say?"

Daniel frowned. "Now, that was the odd thing. He didn't say anything at all. In fact, he was downright silent all the way in to the base this morning."

"What's so odd about that? Colonel O'Neill is not a morning person."

"I know that, Sam. But this isn't the first time he's made me stay over his place."

"He can be protective of us," Carter agreed.

"But it is the first time that he's tuned me out like this. Archeology, sure; he never listens to that. But get a paper cut off-world, and he's all over it." Daniel shrugged. "Not today. We woke up, we got in the car, we arrived back at the base. He didn't say two words to me. Didn't even escort me over to the infirmary for the Frasier early morning special."

That made Carter sit up. "That doesn't sound like Colonel O'Neill. Usually he'll hover until Frasier kicks him out." She thought for a moment. "Maybe he's not feeling well. Maybe he wanted to avoid her." She set down her mug. It was down to the dregs, with no further excuse to linger. "I'll check him out." Then she paused to give Daniel the beady eye. "Daniel, you did see Dr. Frasier this morning, didn't you?"

"Well…"

"Now, Daniel. You remember what happened the last time she had to hunt you down?"

Daniel shuddered. The petite doctor had, despite the Hippocratic Oath, threatened him with a hypodermic filled with a nasty looking fluid, and had two large Marine-types ready to cart his unconscious form back to sickbay. 'Protecting the SGC' was how she had put it, from any alien life-forms that might have stowed away in human form. The story had flown through the base, taking on monumental proportions and whenever anyone—like Dr. Jackson—tried to downplay the hyperbole, Frasier would merely raise one delicate eyebrow and keep her mouth shut.

"Now, Daniel. Now."


Carter found O'Neill working out in the gym, sparring against Teal'c. They were an even match, with two diametrically opposed styles: one lightening fast on his feet and the other ponderous but deadly with power. They kept an informal tally of their matches, and Carter thought that Teal'c currently had the edge on his team leader. Or maybe it was the other way around; the statistics went back and forth so much that Carter couldn't keep track.

But if O'Neill was under the weather, Carter couldn't tell. He scored a number of touches on the Jaffa, whirling in and out, though pulling his punches. This wasn't a contest to the death, and O'Neill played by Earth rules. Lethal contact was forbidden. These were training matches only, a concept that Teal'c had only recently mastered and now enjoyed demonstrating. Unfortunately for him, few others were willing to test Teal'c's newly acquired knowledge base. Most of the spectators were willing to continue in their spectator role.

"Point," the referee called. "Match, O'Neill."

O'Neill came off the mat, wiping the sweat from his neck with a towel. Teal'c ambled after him, breathing hard but with a smile on his face, having enjoyed a bout worthy of his best efforts. The Jaffa too often had to hold back in order to avoid injuring these frail Tau're. O'Neill smirked as he noted Carter watching him. "You next, Carter?"

"Not a chance, sir. I've learned my lesson. With both of you."

"C'mon, Carter. It'll be fun."

"No, thanks, sir." On the spur of the moment, she decided on the oblique approach. "Daniel get back to base okay this morning?"

"Jackson? Yeah, fine." O'Neill turned away and tossed a clean towel to Teal'c. He gave his attention to the bout on the next mat over. "Hey, Ramsey. Step it up there. That's not your grandmother you're wrestling. Although," and he lowered his voice confidingly to Carter, "I've met Gladys Ramsey. Wouldn't want to wrestle that woman. She'd win, hands down."

"Did Daniel get a clean bill of health in the infirmary?" Carter persisted. This lack of interest on O'Neill's part was uncharacteristic.

O'Neill threw her a disgusted look. "How should I know? I dropped him off at the front entrance." Sarcastically: "I'm not his mother, Carter. You're so worried about him, go ask Frasier." He walked away from her, deliberately ending the conversation.

Carter stared after him.


"Dr. Jackson, sit still!" Frasier scolded, trying to maneuver the venipuncture equipment so that the test tubes didn't fall to the floor and smash. "You move that arm, and I'm going to leave a hole in it the size of the Grand Canyon."

Daniel suddenly went rigid. "Janet, what year is this?"

"Not funny, Daniel. Are you trying for a date with Dr. MacKenzie?"

"I'm not trying to be funny. It just hit me. This is the year 2007, exactly three thousand years after Teknet was entombed at an unknown site several leagues from the mouth of the Nile. At least, that's what I think those writings from the SG-3 site lead to, when you put them together with some stuff that I uncovered in Egypt a while ago, before I joined the SGC. It's a project that I've been working on, off and on, since graduate school. I found some writings that didn't make sense, about a great god that ruled near the Nile. His followers overthrew him, and he vanished in a great explosion." Daniel paused, thinking. "When I got to SG-3's site, I found more references to Teknet. At first I thought that they said that Teknet fled from Earth and arrived on PXF-5426. That would make sense; Teknet fled with the rest of the Goa'uld, and that's where he ended up. But the Earth records talk about Teknet returning in three thousand years."

"And so? A lot of legends prophesy a return of some god or other."

"The historical record says that the explosion and Teknet's disappearance happened exactly three thousand years ago. Which means that Teknet is not only on his way back here, but may never have left. Where's Sam? I can have her check my numbers against star positions to judge the century."

Frasier quirked her eyebrows at him. "You're losing me. How did you jump from the historical record to this Goa'uld showing up here on Earth?" She pulled the needle from his arm, tilting the tube several times to mix the contents. She slapped a cotton ball against the still leaking site. "Hold that."

Daniel applied pressure and back-tracked. "Janet, the artifacts that SG-3 brought back speak of Teknet in great detail. I thought it was pretty strange, since Teknet was a minor system lord that ruled a small tribe of nomads here on Earth. The current theory is that he escaped from Earth with the other Goa'uld during the uprisings, ending up on PXF-5426 as a has-been with no power and no Jaffa to rule, which is where SG-3's artifacts came from. But that doesn't jibe with the PXF-5426 writings. Those writings clearly state that Teknet left PXF-5426 well before he showed up on Earth. What if Teknet was on PXF-5426 first, and then came to Earth after that?"

"Now you've lost me completely. I haven't a clue what you're talking about. Don't lose that cotton ball; you're still bleeding."

"Janet, this is important."

"So is this. I'm not having you bleed all over the floor. Do you know how hard it is to keep good housekeeping staff? Have some consideration, Dr. Jackson."

Daniel ignored her complaint. "If Teknet was on Earth when he disappeared rather than PXF-5426, then it's likely that he's still here. We've already tracked down one hidden Goa'uld, there could be more."

Frasier grew interested despite herself. "And you think this Teknet might be wandering around? Why haven't we heard of him? Wouldn't he have tried to cause trouble, take over the world? Isn't that what Goa'uld do?"

"Not Teknet." Daniel warmed to his topic. "According to the records that still exist on Earth, Teknet hid himself in a copper tomb—copper was very big back then, almost as revered as gold and silver—and flew away in a chariot of fire. I'd always assumed that that meant he'd left with the others in a Goa'uld mother ship to another planet. And when SG-3 came back with those writings from PXF-5426, I further assumed that he ended up there to cause more disaster and mayhem for those poor folks, at least at first. After I worked on the writings for a bit, I realized that they said that Teknet left PXF-5425 right at the time that he showed up on Earth." He looked at Frasier. "The aborigines had some pretty horrific tales to tell about Teknet. No wonder they attacked Sam and me. They probably thought we were more Goa'uld from the Gate." He grunted. "I'm surprised they didn't attack SG-3 earlier. Would've been poetic justice—Himmelmann's the one who should've ended up with a dart in his shoulder with Colonel Margate as his babysitter. He's the one who's been swearing up and down that Teknet ended up on PXF-5426."

"And you don't think so. You think Teknet is on Earth."

"Yes. The dates on the PXF-5426 writings clearly pre-date the Egyptian ruins."

"So Teknet came to Earth later."

"Right. Did he leave? Maybe."

"But you don't think so."

Daniel nodded. "My artifacts from the site in Egypt suggest that Teknet will return in three thousand years. I think. I need Sam to re-run my calculations. I was working off a PXF-5426 year, which is slightly shorter than Earth's. I couldn't figure out at first why Teknet hadn't re-appeared on PXF-5426. This could be why."

Frasier still looked blank. "Why all the rush?"

"How's this for a scary theory, Janet? Teknet hides himself in some kind of sarcophagus, with a timer set to go off in three thousand years. He works up a mystical big boom that convinces the ancient Egyptians that he's gone off in his fire chariot, and the other system lords that he's been blown up in some sort of naqueda experiment gone wrong. That hides him from both competing Goa'uld system lords and cranky Egyptians long enough for everyone to forget that he ever existed, or so he hopes. Present day plans: he comes back, looks around, and starts a war with the express purpose of conquering Earth. The Middle East isn't a very stable place right now, Janet. How hard do you think it would be for a nearly un-assassinate-able person to take over a militant hate group? Especially one with as much charisma as a Goa'uld? That's typical Goa'uld strategy: establish a power base, then take over the world as quickly as possible."

Frasier pursed her lips. "Go find your evidence, Daniel." She bit her lip. "Better hurry."


Daniel bounced off the doorway to Carter's lab, staggering to catch his balance. "Watch where you're going!" he called back angrily. Muffled words floated back to Carter, unprintable words.

"Daniel?"

"Just a couple of military types, feeling their oats." Daniel brushed them aside. "Look at this. I need you to compare these to your star charts."

"Daniel, those are not good people to annoy out there in that hallway. What did you do?"

"Nothing. I've been getting cranky glares from almost every single person on this base except for you and Janet Frasier. It's enough to make a guy paranoid."

"Even Dylan Tyler? You know he has the hots for you. Surely he's not angry at you."

"Even Tyler and the rest of his friends who refuse to come out of the closet, and I will have you remember that I was a happily married man, and will be again once I rip the snake out of my wife. That's not important now. Sam, look at this. I think the date these records are talking about is tomorrow. What do you think?"

Carter looked at the papers Daniel was shoving under her nose, sobering. "I think I'm going to need more than a quick glance to confirm that, Daniel."

"Then get started," Daniel ordered. "If I'm right, we're going to have our very own Goa'uld waking up very, very soon. As in maybe tomorrow. Is that worth hustling over?"

Carter grabbed the papers. She closed down her currently running computer program, and pulled up another with a protesting beep. "Go away, Daniel. I have work to do."

Daniel beamed grimly. Someone was finally listening to him. "I'll find Teal'c and see if we can't translate a little more to go on. A location would be nice."


"Teal'c! Teal'c! Hold up!" Daniel darted down the corridor toward the Jaffa, ignoring the glares that followed him from the surrounding men of SGC. He dodged them all, not bumping into any. It didn't matter; his very presence seemed to be provocation enough. Angry muttering followed him.

"Go away, DanielJackson. I do not wish to be burdened with your company."

"What?" Deciding that he had heard incorrectly, Daniel babbled on. Teal'c was the one person he could always count on to always listen to his archeological theories with interest, no matter how strange or outlandish the proposal. "Teal'c, I've partially translated the writings from PXF-5426. I think they lead to the conclusion that Teknet not only never left Earth, but that he's about to make a scheduled appearance any day now, maybe even tomorrow. I've got Sam checking on the exact date. I need your help on the location. I think it may be a few miles south of—urp!"

"You have tried my patience for the last time!" A single massive Jaffa fist grabbed Daniel around the throat and slammed him up against the concrete wall. Teeth rattled. Teal'c slammed him a second time, putting a dent in the concrete, just to make certain the message got through. "I will not be annoyed by your petty ramblings! Be silent!" His other fist rammed into Daniel's mid-section. The archeologist folded. "Do not trouble me again!"

With that, Teal'c tossed Daniel from him. Daniel skidded several feet along the floor, knocking up against the unforgiving wall. Teal'c stalked off without a backward look.

One SGC sergeant walked past, and couldn't resist kicking Daniel where a steel-tipped boot would do the most good. It felt extraordinarily satisfying to get a little of his own back from the bespectacled geek.