The weight on his shoulders, kept growing. With every passing day the young Chief could feel himself slipping farther away from who he used to be. Hiccup knew beyond a doubt that he could do it. He could be Chief. He was learning, and he had quickly taken hold of all that was required of him and worked hard to make every day count. But everything he did, everything he touched seemed to have a way of reminding him of the void that was slowly taking over every fiber of his being. It took every ounce of physical strength to quell the raging tilde wave of sorrow that rammed into Hiccup when he he saw something that reminded him of this father. It seemed that there was no where Hiccup could turn and not see a piece of what he had lost.
Hiccup's first main task as Chief was helping to rebuild all that was destroyed by Draco and his Bewilderbeast. Every day started early, as Hiccup delegated various tasks to the villagers and their dragon's. There was lots of ice to break down, as the repairs continued. So, Hiccup divided the village into groups along with some of the dragon's to break down ice that had gathered in places where it shouldn't. Other groups were assigned to rebuilding buildings that had succumbed to the weight of the ice. The damage was massive, but it wasn't anything that couldn't be fixed. Even if it was slowly, Berk was slowly started to reemerge as things began calm down.
But to Hiccup, it seemed that every task seemed to weigh him down. Every task he undertook, he could hear his father's voice suggesting a different rout. All though Hiccup and Toothless helped deliver supplies to various parts of Berk, Hiccup stayed in the forge for the most part. He much preferred working in the forge, keeping himself busy and out of sight. As he worked the bellows, and pounded various metal pieces he found that his mind seemed to slip into a trance of sorts. The work was grueling, and the burns hurt. And for some reason he seemed to burn himself more then he ever had in the past. Toothless would often rise from his spot in the corner and rush over to Hiccup with his eyes wide with fright.
Valka had moved in with Hiccup, and often she would wait up for Hiccup. She had gotten into the habit of making a large pot of stew, and keeping the fire well lit underneath it. As keen as she was to make sure her son had eaten, she often waited to gauge the mood Hiccup was in. Often she would catch a glimmer of the pain that he held within. Still readjusting to her maternal instincts, Valka often wondered if she was seeing what she thought to be tears gathering in her son's eyes. It was often that she would seem him fly away from a delivery, and Hiccup seemed to collapse onto Toothless.
It was a quiet evening, the night Hiccup came in with Toothless in tow. Pushing the door further, he felt Toothless bump into him as he padded past him, and lept up to the loft. Glancing over, Hiccup saw that his mother had fallen asleep in the big arm chair at the center of the room. Her face was barely visible as it was cocooned inside a warm blanket. The floor above creaked as Toothless landed on his wooden circle. Hiccup winced as he saw his mother stir in her sleep and shift slightly. Hiccup held his breath as he saw the blanket slowly cascade down. Carefully, Hiccup made his way over and reached out to move the blanket back.
Reaching the arm chair he leaned in and reached out to take hold of the blanket. His hand froze in midair as a sudden realization took hold of him. He began to breathe quickly as he took hold of a familiar material. The moment his fingers felt the heavy material of blanket he instantly saw a younger version of his father in his minds eye. He blinked as he realized he was holding dearly to Stoick's Chieftain cloak. His hands trembled as he tucked the fabric around his mother. He rested his hand on her shoulder, and let his mind take in the feel of the fabric. A lump began to grow in his throat, as his eyes began to well with tears. His chest began to tighten as memories of all that he and his father had done together, flooded through his entire frame.
"Hiccup?" Valka asked, blinking steadily.
Hiccup jumped at her voice. He backed away slowly, while placing a hand over his chest. His gaze fell to the floor as he felt his mother's eyes upon him. Still breathing rapidly, he fought to reign in the emotions that had risen to the surface. Valka rose quietly, and gently draped the cloak over the arm chair. Making her way over to Hiccup, she gently placed a hand atop his shoulder.
"Son?" she asked.
Hiccup shook his head, and punched the bridge of his nose. He felt his mother brace both shoulder's and shake him slightly. Somehow, she had a gentle way of encouraging him to open up. However, the memories seemed to have a tight hold on him as he fought to meet his mother's gaze. He shook his head, and shifted his weight to his good leg.
"Sit."
Hiccup glanced up as he heard the forced tone in his mother's voice. Her brow was furrowed, but her eyes smiled as she gestured to the chair behind her. Hiccup shook his head as he looked away. Suddenly Hiccup's entire frame began to shudder. Valka saw Hiccup's chin quiver as he slowly turned his back to her.
"It's ok Hiccup..." Valka soothed.
Moving swiftly, Valka moved and faced her son. The moment she saw Hiccup's face, she felt her heart drop. He was breathing heavily as his eyes glistened with tears. It was then she heard a gasp escape from Hiccup.
"I'm here...I-" Valka uttered.
Hiccup stomped his right foot angrily as he shook his head. Valka saw the conflict etched upon her son's face. She saw that his trembling was growing worse.
"Hiccup, please..." Valka pleaded.
Hiccup shook his head in response. Gently, Valka placed a hand under Hiccup's chin and lifted it slowly.
"You may be the chief of Berk Hiccup..." Valka stammered.
Hiccup looked up sharply, as he heard his mother's voice break.
"But right now...You're my son!"
Hiccup's entire frame began to heave as his grief suddenly overpowered him. His cries were silent as he felt his mother guide him to the arm chair. He could feel her strong grip help him sit down.
A soft thud, and a sudden burst of air told Hiccup that Toothless was close by. He heard his best friends concerned bray as he buried his head in his hands. Suddenly he felt a warm pressure on his shoulder's. Steeling himself, he opened his eyes and saw his mother had draped his father's cloak around his shoulder's. Upon that realization his sorrow intensified. His hands fell to his lap as he wept anew.
Toothless sat down in front of Hiccup and crooned softly, his eyes wide with concern. Hiccup took a corner of the cloak and pulled it up around himself. Toothless leaned in and sniffed at the item, and brayed sorrowfully. Gently, Toothless inched forward and lay his head upon his masters lap.
A low guttural sound emanated from his best friend as Hiccup felt Toothless's lay his head upon his lap. A sudden clatter came from where Valka stood. Hiccup gasped as he looked up and saw his mother stoop down and pick up the bowl from the floor. Hiccup gasped as he saw her eyes were red, and her cheeks where warn by several tear streaks.
"Mom...?" Hiccup asked, drying his eyes with the cloak.
Valka swiftly put the bowl on the stairs and turned towards her son and his dragon. She made her way over, and knelt down by Toothless. The creature was so still, but the sound coming from him was unmistakeable.
"Hiccup?" Valka asked, her voice trembling. "Do you realize what is occurring...right now...to your dragon?"
She raised a trembling hand and made to put it atop Toothless, but stopped short. Glancing up she met her sons gaze. Tears streamed down as she saw her son glance at her, and then to Toothless. Hiccup's eyes filled as she saw worry began to etch it's way across his features. A single sob fell from the boys lips as he watched his mother place her hand gently on Toothless, and lean in. Her eyes scrutinized ever feature of his best friend as she ran her hand along his mussel.
"Such a kind, gentle heart..." Valka uttered, tears falling.
Hiccup cried harder as heard the words fall from his mother's mouth. Valka looked up as she heard her son's distress. Hiccup held her gaze as the tears fell. He nodded slowly.
"Whah...what's wrong with him?" Hiccup whimpered.
Valka felt Hiccup tense, and realized Hiccup was preparing for more heartbreak. He was worried for Toothless. Quickly she put her hand on his cheek.
"Hiccup..." Valka stated. "He's...crying..."
"Bud..." Hiccup panicked, his brow furrowing. "It's ok...Don't cry...I'm ok...I-"
Hiccup wiped his tears, and breathed out steadily. Valka felt her chest tighten as she saw her son put forth a familiar looking facade that could have only come from his father. She sighed deeply as she spoke gingerly to Hiccup.
"Don't you dare." Valka stated kindly.
She shook her head and smiled softly at Hiccup. She cupped his face in her hands and wiped a falling tear with her thumb.
"Do you know what this means Hiccup?" Valka asked. "Dragon's only show their tears to their kin."
Hiccup's chin quivered as his mind struggled to wrap itself around the concept. He glanced down and gasped as he saw Toothless blink. His tears trailed down his mussel and onto Hiccup's lap. Hiccup leaned over and rested his head against Toothless.
"Brother..." Hiccup stammered, his voice breaking. "You. Are. Forgiven."
Toothless bemoaned even louder while inching forward. Hiccup suddenly stood and sank down to the floor, wrapping his arms around Toothless's neck. Toothless pulled back and stared at Hiccup. Hiccup's eyes darted back and forth as he looked at the bewildered creature before him. He swallowed hard as he saw more tears fall from Toothless's eyes.
Leaning in, Toothless gently rammed his head against Hiccup's chest several times. He stopped once Hiccup pulled him close, resting the creatures head against his chest. Toothless crooned worriedly.
"I'll...be ok...bud..." Hiccup soothed. "I just...need-"
Hiccup burst into tears as he realized what he needed more then anything. And it was the one thing he couldn't have. All at once, his heart began to break as he saw his father in his minds eye.
"Hiccup..." Valka soothed.
Gingerly, she wrapped her arms around her son. Toothless looked up, and gently nudged Hiccup towards his mother. Hiccup turned and wrapped both arms around his mother and gasped as she held tightly. Hiccup buried his head in the nook of her shoulder, and wept bitterly. Valka heard Hiccup mumbling, and leaned in to hear what he was saying better.
"Hiccup?" Valka asked tenderly, pulling away.
"I want him back...I want him..back..I-" Hiccup lamented.
Hiccup continued to sob harder as he felt his mother tighten her hold. She stroked his hair and gently rocked him back and forth.
"I know...I know..." Valka soothed.
"It hurts..." Hiccup stammered.
"Where?" Valka asked.
"Every...where.." Hiccup answered.
"You've been holding onto...'all this' , all this time?" Valka asked.
Pulling back, Hiccup looked up and nodded.
"Hiccup. You've lost your father...You can't just hold all that in-" Valka stated.
"I. Have to!" Hiccup boomed, catching Valka off guard.
"Why?" Valka asked.
"I can't let him down mom...I just can't..." Hiccup uttered, his voice hitching.
"Oh son..." Valka cried. "You miss him terribly, do you not?"
Hiccup didn't stop the tears that fell as he nodded.
"The only way you're letting him down, is by being something you're not." Valka answered gently.
"I know, but..." Hiccup bemoaned.
Valka watched as Hiccup began to look around frantically. He pulled his lips into a straight line. He looked to his mother.
"I see him...in everything mom. He's...everywhere..." Hiccup whimpered. "The Great Hall, that...statue, in the forge, here in our home..."
"The village needs someone who's strong...Not some red eyed toothpick, who blubbers every time he-"
"Hiccup. Stop." Valka interrupted, placing her hand over Hiccup's heart.
"You...have the heart of a Chief, ...and the soul of a dragon." Valka spoke softly.
"If Toothless has shown you his tears, I think the village will see the strength in you, doing the same."
Hiccup's face crumbled as he heard his mother speak. The grief that ebbed and flowed, washed over him again. Valka gasped as she saw Hiccup fall forward, bracing him self on his hands and knee's. Hiccup began to breath loudly as the sobs continued to wrack his body.
"Can't...breathe..I-"
Before her very eyes, Valka saw her son's eyes seem to gloss over. The grief her son felt, seemed to take every once of energy from his lithely frame. Here was a young man, trying to process the loss of his father. Valka could feel her heart beginning to break when Toothless nudged her gently. Glancing over, she saw the kind, gentle creature staring at her. He crooned softly and placed his head against her chest. Valka sighed and put her hand atop Toothless head. For a moment neither viking nor dragon moved. It wasn't until the young Chief's lanky frame shuddered, that the two broke from their trance.
"Your brother needs our help." Valka stated, her voice trembling.
Turning to the dragon, she saw the creature gestured towards the saddle that sat on his back. She nodded silently, and scooted around her son. Wrapping her arms around him, she held him for a moment. Her heartbeat quickened as she felt him shuddering from with in her grasp.
"Lean on me, son." Valka pleaded.
Grunting, she stood and pulled Hiccup to a stand. Together they slowly made their way to the door. Toothless padded next to his master and nudged his head under Hiccup's hand whilst crooning softly.
"Th...thankz...buddd..." Hiccup slurred.
Opening the door, Valka guided her son through the doorway and out to the grass beside their home. Toothless walked around them, and stopped behind Valka. Gingerly she took hold of Hiccup and helped him mount the saddle. Climbing up, she put herself behind her son and wrapped her arms around him. Using her foot, she pushed the metal stirrup forward. Still holding onto Hiccup, she reached forward and pushed down the tail locking mechanism down.
"Gently, Toothless..." Valka stammered, patting Toothless gently.
With a short nod, Toothless lept into the air. The air caused Hiccup to jolt backwards suddenly. He gasped when he felt his mother tighten her grip around his torso.
"Easy Hiccup..." Valka soothed.
"How did I get-" Hiccup asked.
"Just, breathe.." Valka interrupted.
Toothless continued to fly steadily as Hiccup quietly and let his mother hold him. Valka leaned forward to see what had made Hiccup so still, and gasped as she saw the sorrow had found its way back to Hiccup. His lips where drawn in a straight line, and he was breathing heavily as he tried to steel himself.
"Out with it.." Valka pleaded.
Hiccup began to panic as he felt the tears sting his eyes. His heart ached horridly, as he pined for his father. Listlessly, he fell forward and rested his head on the saddle. He brought his arms up and cradled them around his head. Valka sighed as she saw her son's shoulder's start to shudder from more then just the wind rushing past them. Gingerly, Valka rubbed Hiccup's back as the wind seemed to pick up in tandem with Hiccup's lamentations.
By the time they circled around and turned back towards Berk, Valka had pulled Hiccup up and held him close to her. His whole body continued to shudder with grief, but cries where silent. They landed softly by their hut, and Valka jumped off and turned to Hiccup. He was shaking as he looked to his mother, but he felt the pressure in his chest ebb slightly as he saw the smile that warmed his mother's eyes. Grunting he slid off of Toothless. Valka reached out to catch him, but gasped when he landed and turned towards Toothless.
"Thank you...bud..." Hiccup uttered, sniffing loudly.
Toothless crooned softly, and rested his mussel against Hiccup's chest.
"You need to rest, son." Valka called over.
Hiccup turned and faced his mother.
"Mom?" Hiccup asked, reaching out to her.
She took his hand in hers. He reached up and kissed the hand of his mother, before leading her around. She stood next to Toothless and placed her other hand on him.
"Yes, Hiccup?" She answered.
Valka watched as her son glanced back and forth between her and his dragon. It took a while for Hiccup to find his words, but finally he spoke.
"I need you...and Toothless tuh luh..." Hiccup stated.
He stopped as he felt his eyes burn with tears. In his minds eyes, he could clearly see his father standing next to his mother with a hand on her shoulder, and another on his shoulder. He exhaled and tried to continue. Valka stepped forward and put her hand under Hiccup's chin. Lifting it up she spoke.
"Hiccup, we will always look out for you. And together, we will get through this by celebrating the man your father was."
Toothless nudged Hiccup and cooed gently.
"And son..?" Valka asked.
Hiccup sniffed as he felt his mother smooth his hair.
"I'm so proud...of you."
Hiccup wrapped his mother in his arms, and held her close. Burying his head in the nook of her shoulder, he spoke endearingly.
"I love you."
