I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in,
I'll never meet the ground,
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us,
We're far from the shallow now
-Shallow; by Lady Gaga + Bradley Cooper
If you're reading this, then chances are something happened. Whether it happened to me or my group, I don't entirely know. But, all I can say is something happened.
So, I guess I should tell you what's going on, right? Give some big explanation? I can try, but I don't know if you'll believe me. I still have trouble believing it half the time. But. . .what can you do? Life's different now. The world I knew is gone. The world I was born and raised in — it's a fading memory. All I seem to know now is how to survive, how to kill. All the things I know how to do now. . .I wouldn't have thought it was all possible. In my old life, I never used a gun, I didn't believe in using guns. I thought I was a pacifist. The old me was all about peace, love, and friendship.* Now, it's all about survival. How many people do I have to kill to keep myself alive? To keep my people alive? It's hard to say. I've killed more than enough people to stay alive; to keep my people alive. It's never enough though. It will never be enough.
I'm getting off topic. . .I do that sometimes. My mind wanders and I can't help but write it down. But, I should get to the point.
My name is Tami McCoy. I chose to document everything that happened since the world fell. By doing so, I knew I wouldn't go completely crazy. I'd be able to remember. I could look back and see how I've changed since the beginning. I'd like to think I've changed a lot. But that's just me. Someone else could have an entirely different opinion. But for me. . .I've become something entirely different. This new world transformed me. Before, I was friendly and outgoing; now, I don't trust people outside my group. I can't trust people outside my group. I remember Rick saying it's because people are always looking for an angle, looking for a way to play off your weakness. He's right. If people aren't careful, they'll fall into the arms of the wrong people. Me? I got lucky enough to meet Rick and his group. God only knows what would've happened if I hadn't.
Am I making sense? God, I hope so. I spent so long trying to find the right words, so I'll understand if you don't get it right away. But, like I mentioned before, the world fell. It was sudden, it took everyone by surprise. No one expected things to end so badly, and when it did, the world was left unprepared.
In the beginning, before anything major started happening, it was only a sickness. People coming down with some kind of bug. Doctors said it was like a flu and a head cold combination — or something along those lines, I can't really remember. All I know is that people who caught the sickness were quarantined pretty quick. The bug spread like wildfire in the early days, that's why it was so important to keep clear of anyone who looked remotely unwell. But even with a quarantine in place, it didn't stop the bug from spreading.
I remember seeing a close friend of mine get sick. She had a cough and a fever at first. Then it went to a stomachache and migraines. She refused to go to a hospital. It was only when she started coughing up blood that she took it seriously. After I dropped her off at the hospital, I never saw her again. But, for some reason, I didn't get sick, even after all the time I spent with my friend. I know you probably won't believe that, I still don't. But I didn't get sick. I don't know why.
In the end, the bug got worse. People panicked, businesses were shutting down, and riots started happening. I remember one happening in my hometown. My mother called to tell me about it — that was before communications dropped. I remember my mother crying, the fear in her voice. It still haunts me. Even after everything I've seen, everything I've endured, it's my mother's terrified cries and the fear in her voice that gets to me.
I'll try and get into the end of the world later on. It's getting late, and I should be heading off to bed. For me, finding shelter before sundown is crucial. It's almost as important as killing the dead and avoiding the living.
(ミ ̄ー ̄ミ)
When the bug started getting worse, that's when things started to get really bad. Like I mentioned before, that's when people started panicking. Riots, businesses shutting down, eventually power and communications shutting off. Not in that order necessarily, but it happened. Communications fell first, about a week and a half after the bug got really bad. Then, just a few days later, the power went out. Neither were ever bought back, which caused even more panic. The rioting, however, happened before the power and communications dropped, before businesses started closing up. The first wave was like a test run. People were seeing how much they could take before the police caught them. But at that point, during the first wave, it's not like people feared the cops. Getting the essentials was most important.
After communications dropped, that's when the second wave of rioting hit. I took part in the second wave. At the time, I was in Birmingham, Alabama. I needed the food, I needed water, medicine, anything. I would go down to local gas stations and supermarkets to take what I could. Then I'd go to gas stations to siphon up on gas. I did what I had to do to survive those beginning stages.
When the power dropped and stores closed down, that's when things went crazy. People were trampling each other, killing each other, for the things they needed. No one really had an idea of what death was back then. No one knew that killing, dying, whatever led to reanimation. If the brain was left intact, then the possibilities of a deceased person coming back was 100%. I've seen enough of it in my time. But when the dead started coming back, people didn't know what to do. They had no skills in taking down the reanimated. No one thought something like that was even plausible. It seemed as though one bad thing always led to another. There was no escaping it.
For me, in terms of taking down the dead, I had to go through a lot of trial and error. I had a lot of close calls, but I was able to figure out the brain was how they stayed dead. If their head sustained severe enough damage, to where their brains were damaged to an extent, then they'd be gone for sure.
In the beginning, when the dead were rising and people were panicking, things spiraled more and more out of control. People were trying to figure out ways to survive, but they couldn't come up with a rational way to do so. Before communications dropped, there'd been rumors of supposed safe-zones being put up. I wasn't too sure if they'd been done or not. So many people were left out in the street, running and scrambling for their lives, it was hard to tell. I never found those safe-zones, or I was just looking in the wrong areas, but I chose to put them behind me.
I had to learn to put a lot behind me. If I didn't, then I'd never survive in the new world. I'd end up like one of the dead. Mindless, rotting, feeding on the living. That was something I'd never want for myself or anyone else.* At the same time, though, I had to learn that changing sometimes happened, and it was a somewhat natural, strange part of the new world. As horrifying as turning could be, there was no avoiding it.
But I guess you already knew that, huh?
(ミ ̄ー ̄ミ)
I think, for now, I've told you all I'm willing to say. There's so much more to this than how the world fell and how the dead came back. To me, this story feels complex. I've met people, I've lost people. I've seen humans disguised as monsters, and humans blatantly showing off the monsters they've become. This new world changes people. They become something else entirely, something new. Death doesn't have to befall on them for them to become another thing. The violence of the new world is enough. I've seen it, my group's seen it. . .too many people have seen it.
I just have one question: Is it possible to take the world back?
(A/N):
I don't entirely know how I feel about this first chapter. I don't think my writing went in the direction I was hoping for, but that's fine. I'm sure I can figure something out. But I'll let you guys be the judge of this. Don't hesitate to hold back on any constructive criticism you might have.
TWD doesn't belong to me. All I own are my OCs, my subplots, and the shoes I wear. If you've got ideas for OCs or subplots, be sure to PM me or leave a review. I'll add them in as soon as possible.
With season 9 of TWD being only a few days away — I think — I'm not sure how excited I am for it. In all honesty, I haven't been excited for the show in a long time, not since the cliffhanger of who Negan killed. To me, I feel like the writers and producers had a good idea, in the beginning, on how Negan should be written, but it went downhill after that. To me, season 8 was a letdown, and with Rick leaving so soon in the newer one, I just don't know what to think.
Either way, I'll let you guys leave any comments on what you think.
I'll see you later.*
Keira Mariano
