"But, David, I had to keep this a secret."
He gave Erin a cold look, and she fought not to shiver at the animosity evident in his eyes. "And Alex had to deal with her guilt at not being able to fully reconcile with you. That was part of the reason that she left us. There's nothing between us any longer."
The words he uttered cut her to the bone, and she bit her lip, knowing that her tears would get her nowhere. Instead, she closed her eyes and nodded before turning on her heel and leaving his office. Reaching out, she grabbed the rail and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. Sudden movement caught her eye and she looked down to see Derek, Jennifer, and Spencer staring up at her. There was open hostility on their faces, and she felt her breath catch in her throat as she looked away. Suddenly, she didn't want to be seen as emotional in front of them, since she knew that it would get her nowhere.
"If you're planning on sticking around, it will take us time to trust you. No one knew that you were in Witness Protection. You could have at least told Dave."
She turned her head slowly to see Aaron staring at her with censure in his eyes. "I couldn't. The Marshal Service remembered all too well what happened the last time that someone connected with the BAU had need of them." Her barb hit its mark, as Aaron winced before looking away from her.
"Touché." He brushed past her and disappeared into David's office, closing the door forcefully. The sound startled her and she took a deep breath as she shook her shoulders out. Taking one last look at her former team, she sighed and went to leave.
As she was passing by Penelope's door, it opened, and the younger woman peeked out, fixing her gaze on her. "Erin, wait!"
She shook her head and picked up speed, hurrying down the stairs and out to the elevators. Vaguely, she could hear Penelope call after her, and she knew that she had to escape, so she went over to the stairwell and fairly ran down the stairs, praying that the younger woman wouldn't follow.
Somehow, she made it to her car and she slipped behind the wheel before burying her face in her hands and sobbing quietly. Once Erin had managed to work out some of her feelings, she started up the car and backed out. As she drove, she felt the overwhelming compulsion to get drunk, and this time she knew she couldn't fight it. It wasn't hard to find her old bar, and she parked as far away from the street as she could, not wanting anyone to see her there.
Getting out, Erin made her way to the door and took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders and going inside. The familiarity of the place washed over her, and she quickly made her way over to the secluded booth in the back that she had made her own years ago. A bored looking waitress came up, and she took another deep breath. "I'd like a bacon cheeseburger, plain, and the largest beer you can legally serve me."
"Coming right up," the woman replied before slinking off and leaving Erin alone. From the depths of her purse, she heard her phone ring, and she rummaged around to pull it out. Seeing Penelope's name pop up on the display, she frowned and declined the call, setting the phone on the table.
Not thirty seconds later, her phone rumbled against the table, and she huffed impatiently as she picked it back up and looked at the display once more. You can't hide from me forever, Erin Joy. I do have GPS and can find you. You do not get to escape and not talk to me. I've fucking missed and mourned you for over a year, and I will get my answers. I will see you shortly.
"Fuck," she muttered as her waitress set down a huge stein of beer in front of her. "That wasn't meant for you."
"Sure, sweetheart, whatever you say."
The woman stomped away, and Erin rolled her eyes as she picked up the heavy glass in front of her and brought it to her lips. There was a large part of her that wanted to take that first sip, but something held her back. Instead, she breathed in the heady scent of fermentation and licked her lips a little. "Erin Joy Strauss, if you even think about taking one sip of that, I will lock you up in my apartment forever and ever."
Startled, she quickly turned her head and stared up at Penelope. "How did you find me so fast?" she breathed out, trying not to pout as Penelope pried the stein from her hands and handed it back to their waitress. "And I still have to pay for that, I might as well enjoy it!"
"No, Erin. I am not going to let you waste your sobriety. Not on people who don't matter."
"But David does matter. I love him."
Penelope smiled sadly at her as she slid into the booth, across from her. "Do you? Or were you in love with the idea of returning to him and having a normal life again?"
The question took her aback, and she stared down at the scarred wood of the table. She startled a little as the waitress forcefully set her plate down in front of her. "Do you want anything, sweetheart?"
The nasty tone upset Erin and she glared at the woman. Penelope shook her head before turning a brilliant smile up at the waitress. "I'll have what she's having, actually. That looks delicious. And a Coke?"
The waitress rolled her eyes before stomping off and Penelope giggled a little. "What?"
"She doesn't want a good tip, does she?" Reaching out, Penelope snagged one of her fries and popped it into her mouth. "These are delicious, at least." Erin watched Penelope smile at her before she leaned in and touched her face softly. "You are alive."
"I am."
"You are supposed to be dead."
"That, too."
"I'm glad you're not." Erin's eyes locked onto Penelope's, and she blinked rapidly, trying to stem the tears that were welling up. "Really, I am." Erin let her eyes flutter closed as Penelope gently wiped away her tears. And then she felt soft, sweet, lips brushing against hers and she sighed a little as she let the kiss deepen naturally. There was something so right about the kiss that she didn't want it to end, but then Penelope was pulling back and she blinked open her eyes to look at her.
"What was that?" she breathed out as her fingers tapped against her lips.
"A kiss."
"I know that. Why did you kiss me?"
Penelope tucked her hair behind her ears as she blushed. "Honestly?" Erin nodded a little as she cut her burger in half. "I've wanted to do that since Jayje's wedding. All right, I may have been a little bit tipsy that night, since Kevin brought Gina, and I was in total avoidance mode. But you had been so vulnerable and open to me when we were in the mobile command center, and there was something so lovely and lush and sweet about you that night, and I wanted that for myself. Yes, a tiny part of my heart knew that you were with Rossi, but…I wanted you. I wanted to comfort you. I wanted to wrap my arms around your waist as we drifted off to sleep, only to hear you whisper in my ear that everything was going to be okay. And then, I went to England, and Alex joined us, and you went away."
"I'm back, now."
"And we have tonight." Erin felt a slight blush stain her cheeks. "Or, have I read your signals wrong? I could tell that there was once something between you and Alex, just from the way that you danced around each other."
"Yeah, we did have a relationship. It was a gloriously heady time, but it was only for a season." She looked down at her plate and picked up the other half of her burger, taking a small bite, needing to put some distance between her and Penelope for a moment. Their waitress came back over, thumping down Penelope's plate and storming away before either of them could say anything. Penelope gave her a smile before tucking in. As they ate, a comfortable silence fell over them, and Erin found herself looking forward to a night with Penelope.
"So, do you think if we leave her thirty dollars and call it good, we can get out of here?"
The soft question caught Erin a little off-guard, and she took a deep breath as she wiped her fingers on her napkin. "Sounds good to me."
Penelope gave her a soft grin as she slapped the money on the table and slipped out of the booth, holding out her hand to her. Erin clasped it softly and let Penelope lead her outside. "So, I was thinking we could go to the closest park and walk around for a bit? I'm carless at the moment, since I took a cab here, you'll have to schlep me around."
"I think I can handle that." Letting out a soft sigh, Erin brought her over to her car and slipped behind the wheel. Out of habit, she went to set her purse in the passenger seat, only to hit the soft flesh of Penelope's torso. "Sorry."
"You're fine." Looking over at the younger woman, she blushed once more at the hungry look that was plain in her eyes. "And I do mean that both ways." Leaning over, Penelope kissed her once more, this time nipping at her lower lip, as if she wanted to mark Erin as hers, and she let out a low sound of pleasure at the sweet pain.
"Do, do you have a particular park in mind?"
Penelope shook her head. "We'll turn in at the first one that we find." The younger woman caressed her face and she smiled at her before starting her car and pulling out into traffic. Driving gave her something to focus on, and she tried to calm her heart as she pulled into the Rock Creek Nature Center. "Ooh, this looks nice," Penelope murmured as she parked.
"I love this place, there's something so peaceful about it." Erin got out of the car and slipped her keys in her pocket before waiting for Penelope to join her. The moment she was at her side, Erin reached for her hand, needing the contact for some reason. "There's this quiet little trail that we could walk along," she said in a quiet voice, feeling nervous all of a sudden.
"All right, lead the way."
She nodded and threaded their fingers together as she led Penelope up to the building. "The trail starts behind the Center," she said as she opened the door, leading Penelope through the building. Erin found that she had a one track mind all of a sudden, as she wanted to be alone with Penelope on the trail. Given the time of day, there were few people there, and that both settled her and made her a little nervous.
"Erin? You're holding my hand just a little too tightly." She glanced over at Penelope, taking in her soft smile, and nodded as she relaxed her hold a tiny bit. "Thanks. I'm going to need that hand later tonight, after all," she whispered in her ear.
Erin swallowed a gasp as she nodded, listening to Penelope giggle sweetly next to her. "Oh, yes, all right," she finally said, feeling her cheeks redden in a deep blush. Somehow, they got out onto the trail, and once they were at the end of the trail, she found that they were alone. There was a small bench there that overlooked a stream, and she took a seat, Penelope following suit and scooting in close to her. There was a moment where they didn't say anything, and she turned her head to look at Penelope, and saw her smiling with her eyes closed as she listened to the water burble.
And then, Penelope's head was turning to look at her, and Penelope's eyes opened slowly. "I am going to kiss you now, Erin." She felt her eyes widen a little as Penelope closed the small distance between them, pressing her lips gently against Erin's. As the kiss deepened, Erin found herself reaching up to tangle her fingers in Penelope's thick hair.
Erin felt more than heard Penelope's low growl as she pushed her back against the bench, her tongue licking at the seam of her lips. Erin opened her mouth and thrust her tongue against Penelope's, enjoying the duel they were engaged in.
The low murmuring of voices had them both sitting up, righting their clothes before smoothing their hair. "I think that we should probably head home now, Penelope. I'm not really this much of an exhibitionist."
The younger woman nodded and popped to her feet before holding out her hand. Erin clasped it without hesitation, letting Penelope lead them back to the Nature Center. It seemed so natural to let Penelope's arm come to rest around her waist, and she found herself drifting closer and closer to her as they went to the car. "Erin?"
"Yes, Penny?" she asked as she unlocked her car, looking at the woman.
"I'm not pushing you too fast, am I?"
Erin took a moment to think, before shrugging a little. "I'm an adult, Penelope. I happen to be bisexual, and it appears that you are as well. I need comforting today, and you are offering it to me, which is sweet and lovely and thoroughly you. I don't think any of that is pushing me, do you?"
Penelope gave her a brilliant smile as she shook her head. "No, not at all. I just had to be sure, you know. I mean, Cruz told me that you thought highly of me, and I treasured that knowledge in my heart for months."
"It doesn't do to put me on a pedestal, Penelope. I'm not a perfect person."
"Neither am I." The honest answer made Erin nod a little as she slipped into the driver's seat. Penelope climbed in next to her and angled her body so that she could watch her as she drove to her home. "I talk too much, I'm annoyingly optimistic, I love too easily and too deeply. When I get really mad, I tend to go into nuclear mode and nuke any bridge that might have been there. I get too focused, at times. But that's who I am, you know?"
"I would see it a little differently. You're tenacious, you're lovely, you have a kind spirit, and if someone has upset you enough to go nuclear, then they probably deserved it. I'm the one who has too many flaws. I'm a drunk, I'm a bitch, I have the tendency to jump to conclusions, and the drive to get ahead, no matter how many people I have to stab in the back to do so."
Penelope cocked her head to the side as she reached out to stroke her cheek lightly. "And yet, you went to bat for our team more than once, you protected us when they tried to separate us, and you almost gave your life for us. Those? Are not the actions of the woman you just described yourself as."
Once more, she stroked her thumb over Erin's cheekbone, and she let out a soft sigh as she continued to drive. It didn't take very long to get back to her house, and once more, she felt herself grow nervous. "Well, we're here," she said as she closed the garage door and turned off her car. "Would you like to come inside?"
"I'd love to, Erin." Penelope gave her a warm smile as she clambered out of the car and quickly made her way up the stairs that led to her door. Erin was a little slower in following after her, needing time to collect her thoughts and feelings. Finally, though, she was at the top step and unlocking the door, letting them both in.
"Welcome home," she whispered, a small corner of her heart wishing that was true.
Penelope turned her head a little and sighed. "Am I?"
"If you want to be." For some reason, Erin teared up, and then Penelope was holding her close in a tight hug, her lips crashing against Erin's in a possessive kiss. In the background, she could hear the door slam, but all she could focus on was the way Penelope's lips felt against hers, the way her hands were tugging her blouse out of her skirt so that she could touch bare skin. "Penny," she said as they broke the kiss.
"Yes?"
"Come with me?"
"Yes." The calm assurance there settled her somehow, and Erin took hold of her hand. The warmth of it bled into Erin's skin and she took a deep breath as she began to lead the woman over to the stairs that would take them to her bedroom. She had to focus on breathing in and out as Penelope tightened her grip. There was something so assured in that tightening, as if their short exchanges since returning home had cemented something between them. "Penny for your thoughts?"
"Oh, my thoughts cost a wee bit more than that. How about we just think about pleasure tonight? I think that's what I need." She never turned back to look at Penelope, but the small squeeze that the other woman gave her told her everything she needed to know.
"Okay." There came another small squeeze before Penelope started to run her thumb back and forth over the back of her hand. The movements sent shivers of desire up and down her spine, and Erin had to bite her lip so as not to groan lowly in pleasure.
After she had climbed the last step, she turned to head to her bedroom, only to be stopped. She turned to look at Penelope, her head bending to one side as she stared at her. "What?" was the only word she breathed out before Penelope kissed her once more. This time, it was tender, gentle, like a brush of angel's wings, and she sighed as she let Penelope deepen the kiss, pushing her back against the wall to continue her onslaught. Erin moaned a little as she reached up and tangled her fingers in Penelope's hair, torn between wanting her to continue and wanting to make it into the bedroom.
There was a moment where she could tear her lips away and she did so before moving one hand down to cup Penelope's cheek, her thumb tapping against the younger woman's lips. "Erin?" she asked quizzically, her brow knitting in hurt and confusion.
"I'd rather make love in my bedroom for the first time. I'm a bit of romantic sentimentalist…" Her voice trailed off as she looked away from Penelope, certain that she had just embarrassed herself beyond belief. Letting her eyes flutter closed, she tried to breathe deeply, to get her heart rate back under control, to brace herself for the scoffing laugh she was certain would come from her lips.
Then she felt light brushes of fingers stroking her cheeks before lifting her chin gently. "Erin, look at me." Hesitantly, she opened her eyes, focusing on Penelope's warm brown eyes. "It is totally okay to be romantic. And it sort of makes me feel special." A sweet smile spread across Penelope's lips as she moved her hand to softly tweak her nose.
Erin dropped her eyes once more, drawn to Penelope's lips. She brought her hand up and rubbed her thumb against them. "I want this to be special. I've always called it making love, I've always wanted to feel lovely. What Alex and I shared, once, was just that – magical and lovely and perfect. And so was my time with Alan and with David. And while I don't know how things will turn out between us, I want this to be lovely."
Penelope's breath fanned out against her face as she sighed and pulled her into a hug. "It will be, I promise you." And then she was capturing Erin's lips in a deep kiss, her hands slipping down her sides to rest on her hips. Once the lush buss ended, Erin looked up into her eyes, waiting for her next move. "Where's your bedroom?"
"On the other side of the hall, actually."
Penelope let out a small giggle before grabbing her hand and tugging her across the small expanse of floor. "Let's see, the door in the middle?" Erin nodded, and she grinned. "Closet to the left, master bathroom to the right?" Again, she nodded, marveling a little at the woman's prescience. "And your bed sits so that the footboard is closer to the bathroom."
"How do you know all this?" she asked as they went inside and made their way over to the bed.
"I was just guessing about the bed. I have mine set up the same way, since I shower at night, usually." Erin nodded and then leaned in to brush her lips against Penelope's. "What was that for?"
"For being like me in the little things." Suddenly, she felt like she was going to cry once more, and Penelope was there, bundling her up in a loving hug, their bodies fitting together perfectly, or so it seemed to Erin. "May, may I undress you? I enjoy doing that."
"Of course, Erin. But first, let me kiss you once more." This kiss was different than all the others they shared, more spiritual to her for some reason. As they parted, she blinked rapidly to stop her tears as she reached around Penelope's back to grab hold of the zipper and run it down to her shapely ass. Skimming her fingers back up Penelope, she began to tug the dress off her arms and down her body.
"You're so lovely," she breathed out as she dragged her fingers across her chest, feeling Penelope shiver a little at the gesture. "But don't you usually wear stockings?"
"It was too humid today to mess with them," she murmured, biting her lip as Erin traced her fingers down through her cleavage, over her torso, slipping beneath the band of her panties to tug them down her hips. Penelope shook her legs and Erin found herself transfixed by the sight of her pubic hair, a bright fuchsia in color. "Do you like?" the younger woman asked seductively.
Erin licked her lips slowly as she sank to her knees. Reaching out, she let her fingers brush against the soft hair. Penelope tipped her hips into the light touches, and Erin smiled as she leaned in and pressed her lips to the woman's vulva. As she breathed in the musky scent that was all Penelope, she reached her hands around to cup her ass, bringing her even closer. Her legs parted a little and Erin sighed as she snaked her tongue out to run it along her labia.
"Fuck, Erin, I never knew how sweet a mouth you have," Penelope moaned out, her hand burying itself in Erin's hair. She smiled as she pulled her face away from Penelope's vulva, and looked up at her soon to be lover. Penelope shook her head and tugged her up. "I want to kiss you again."
"Yes." Erin closed her eyes and puckered her lips, waiting to feel the soft caress of flesh on flesh. Instead, Penelope began to unbutton her blouse and Erin licked her lips once more, anticipating where Penelope would place her lips next. She gasped a little as she felt warm lips suck at the upper swell of her breast. "Oh, your mouth is just as sweet, Penny."
"That's good to hear, Erin. Your skin is delectable. I could feast on it all night long if you'd let me."
"Well, we do have tonight, don't we?" she replied hesitantly, closing her eyes a little harder, not certain what answer she'd get from Penelope.
"Oh, hopefully more than just tonight. Though we can start there." Erin felt her shoulders relax as Penelope finished unbuttoning her blouse, pushing it off her shoulders before making quick work of her skirt and bra. "I love this garter set, Erin. This is totally something that I would wear." She blushed a little as she remembered the periwinkle lace garter that she had put on that morning, the black hose she'd attached to them. The sound of Penelope unclipping the garter from her hose had her squirming, anxious for the feel of the woman's hands and lips on her.
"Pe-Penelope, oh, more."
"I never took you to be so vocal, my dear. Of course there's more where this came from," she saucily replied as she tugged the black silk panties down her legs. Erin kicked them off and met Penelope's hands on the garter, and together, they pushed it down off her hips, taking her stockings with it. "All right, let's get you on the bed."
Erin's eyes snapped open and she fixed them on Penelope, taking in her smile and the tender, open, look in her eyes. "But, I thought that I'd…"
"No, we'll get each other off. I just prefer being on top. If you don't mind?" She shook her head, and was rewarded with another smile. "Good. Now get that sweet ass of yours up on the bed." Penelope lightly smacked said ass, and Erin nodded as she scrambled to situate herself on the mattress, her legs instinctively parting for Penelope. As the woman stretched her body out along Erin's, she leaned in for a deep kiss. Erin arched up into her light touches, seeming unable to get enough of the way Penelope was touching her, kissing her, stroking her.
"Here," she gasped out, taking hold of Penelope's hand and bringing it to her breast. "I like it when my lover pays attention to me here."
"All right," Penelope murmured against her lips as she began to rub her thumb gently over Erin's nipple, coaxing it into a taut peak. And then her lips were capturing her other nipple, her teeth gently scoring it before she set about suckling her. The sensations were a bit overwhelming, and Erin found herself grinding against Penelope's thigh, needing the pressure against her clit. Through the haze of her desire, she felt Penelope undulating her hips against her own thigh, and she let out a low moan as she buried her hands in Penelope's hair, anchoring her to her breast.
Erin's orgasm came fast, and she cooed a little, her voice sounding soft and faraway as she bowed up against Penelope. Afterwards, she bounced back against the mattress, trying to catch her breath. "That was amazing," she panted out, turning on her side to snuggle in close to Penelope. "Did you come, too?"
She gave her a slow nod, a look of pure bliss slipping over her face. "I did." As she tried to swallow her yawn, Erin laughed lowly and curled her hand possessively around Penelope's hip. "Claiming your territory already, Erin?"
"Yes. Who needs tomorrow when I have you here in my arms right now?" She pressed another kiss to Penelope's lips, relishing the way Penelope carded her fingers through her hair. "It's a bit unruly right now. I haven't decided if I want to cut it or let it grow."
"Let it grow, please? There's something so sexy about you with long hair." They shared another kiss before Erin rested her forehead against Penelope's. "Then again, everything about you is sexy. Oh, thank you, Erin, for letting me have this night, and all the future ones you want to give me."
They both managed to tear up at the same time, and Erin nodded, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. "Why don't you stay? We'll see how many nights together we can share. I was so lonely in WitSec."
"I won't let you be lonely any longer, if you let me." Erin nodded, and gave Penelope a small smile. "Then yes, I'll stay. But pull the sheet up over us. I'm cold!"
"All right." Somehow, Erin got the covers pulled up around their shoulders before flipping over and pulling Penelope into the position she wanted her in. "I love spooning," she whispered.
"I do, too. Go to sleep, we'll talk more in the morning." Erin smiled as she felt Penelope's lips press against the top of her head, and she nodded, the feeling of real contentment coming to rest in her for the first time in months.
