Author's Note: How do you fix being bored at work? See below!
When you sleep
Two feet away from
Someone
You learn how they
Breathe
Like it or not.
Avery
Scarlett snores.
You think he'd remember
With the years
They shared
A bed
But it keeps him up
Tonight.
On the bus
As they cross
The dream-dark highways.
He gives up
Around 2 AM
And calls
Juliette
Bad idea
The baby
Just stopped kicking
And she could
Finally
Sleep.
"I'm hanging up now – "
She says
"And if you call again
I will unleash
The wrath of
Crazy Pregnant Lady
On you.
Full force.
I love you."
"I love you, too –"
She's
Gone.
He pulls a pillow over his ears.
But can still hear Scarlett
Her measured
In
And
Out.
The road rumbles beneath him
Like a pulse
And soon it keeps in time
To her snores.
It's not so bad
Like being rocked
Inside a warm
Safe
Space.
Gunnar
His head is tucked
Toward the wall
Covers over his head
As he flicks through his phone
Blocking the light.
They took at least
Six
Different photos
Before they settled on the
One
For Twitter.
And after
Last night
They have so many more.
Fans sending him
Videos
Pictures
Grainy images from all the way
In the nosebleeds.
Pictures of the blurry stadium Jumbotron
And close-ups
From the Front Row.
Scarlett's face beams in
Image
After
Image
After
Image –
And his own.
Their expressions caught in pixels
With vivid clarity.
The flowers
Sit in a vase
Next to her bunk.
Petals drooping
To the bus floor.
They used to share
A bigger, fancier bus
On Luke's tour
A million years ago
But
This
Space
Feels
So
Much
Wider.
Even if
The distance
Between them
Now
Is just
A
Few
Breaths
Away.
Their faces
Are still
Frozen
On his screen.
She's smiling
Because
She's finally
Where she was always
Meant to be
He's smiling
Because
He's there
With
Her.
Scarlett
She's the only
One
Sleeping
Too tired to keep
Her eyes
Open.
Caleb
Called
To wish her
Goodnight.
They didn't say
The Words
But
She breathes
In –
The sweet flowers
The roar of the crowd
The tangy sweat
The choking spice of cologne
The stale bus air
Her songs and rhymes –
Breathes
out –
For now
It's all
Enough.
Deacon
The distance between
Them
Under the covers
Feels like
The distance between
Breathing
And
Being
Alive.
Juliette
She still can't sing
With the baby
Positioned so awkwardly
Taking her breath away
Literally.
But
She'll miss her
Daughter
Being under her
Heart.
Even if she won't miss
Swelling and puking and insomnia
Not being able to see her feet
Being five million pounds
Feeling like Avery will have to
Roll her
To the delivery room.
She wants
Her body
Back.
But when she puts
The phone
To her belly
And listens
To Avery
Sing,
She doesn't mind
Breathing
For the both
Of them.
For now.
Jeff
Their reflections
In the mirror
On her wall
Breathe
And shudder
Into each other –
The gaps and spaces
Their bodies
Make
Like they can
Actually
Fit
Together.
They close the space
Between
Them
That cold rush of lost air
They both
Fight
To be
The first
To breathe
Before it rushes
Out
Of the trap
Of their bodies
And fills
The shallows
Of
Each other's.
He remembers
Will
Pulling her
Out of the water
They were on the
Ground
Rocking
He had her
In his arms
Little and limp
"Don't touch her –"
He shouted
When people hovered
"Just leave it –
"Don't touch her –"
"Don't touch – "
Her
Breathing
Slowly
Jeff could see
Her chest
Move
In
And
Out
And relief
So strong
Might have brought him
To his knees
If he were
A different kind
Of
Person.
Will rocked her
Back
And
Forth
Repeating
"It's all right, it's all right,
Shhh
It's all right"
While sirens wailed
And
Everything
Around them
Glowed.
If he was a
Different
Sort of
Person
Would he have
Something
To lose?
Why bother
Thinking
Like that?
They're still
Fighting
To close
the space
between them
and maybe
that's all
he has.
It's only
Movement
But
It's
Something.
Not love
But
It could
Be –
Something.
To have
To feel
To lose.
(Take that, Teddy).
Layla
When she asks
Him
To leave
It's like
Something
Inside her
Loosens.
An anchor
She's cutting
Free.
At one time
Being alone
Was the scariest thing
she could ever face.
Now
It's probably
Going to keep her
From
Opening her door
Again.
She can do
Without
Ex-husbands
Old lovers
And go back to
Counting sheep
Like she counts
Her mistakes
These days
And
Nights.
She'll keep her door shut
Until she can find
Someone
Who doesn't
Need
To
Try.
It's better
This way,
Even if it makes
Every breath
Feel like
A bruise.
Sadie
He isn't
Breathing
She isn't
Either.
Luke
Hauls her
Away from
Pete's body
And drags her
Into the truck.
"What the fuck?"
He keeps repeating
The words run together
Until they don't sound like
Language
Just
Chaos.
"What the fuck?"
whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhattheFUCK?!
The rank coppery stench
Of blood
Warm and slick
On her hands
Fills the confined space.
Luke stares at her.
She stares at Pete.
Pete is staring
At the sky
Like he sees
Something she doesn't.
"What the fuck?"
He's still staring at her
Even when
The lights
Start whirling.
Red
And
Blue
Across his
Astonished
White
Face.
"What the fuck?"
She still can't breathe.
Rayna
Maddie
Cried herself
To sleep.
She's tucked in her mama's arms
Like she hasn't been
Since she was tiny
Daphne on her other side
They're all piled
Under her covers
Tonight.
They're safe beside her
Breathing
Dreaming
Hopefully of happier things –
And she feels
Awful.
The past twelve hours
Have been the most
Gut-wrenching
Agonizing
Soul-crushing
Rage-inducing
Unbelievable
Magical
Loving
Hours
Of her life.
