Katniss POV

When the sun rises, your supposed to feel great that a new day has started and a sign of rebirth and life was created but for me it adds another bearing weight on my shoulders. Sometimes it can get so heavy that I can't bear it any more and I have thoughts that no one should ever have. The feeling of arms wrapping around me distracts me from my thoughts. "Good morning" peeta says with a giddy smile on his face, I groan in response knowing what's coming next, he is going to ask me to get out of bed. As if on cue he pulls me off the bed and wraps me into a hug. He knows I'm depressed and on the edge of committing suicide, so he tries to cheer me up every way he can. On normal days I would just lock myself in my room and stare out the window, but today was not a normal day. Peeta was determined to get me outside in the woods hoping to make me feel better I suppose. "Would you like me to turn around?" he asked when I have finished gathering my clothes to change into. He hasn't left me alone in a room ever since I attempted to drown myself in the tub last week so I just answer with a quick nod and start to change.

The crisp air felt foreign on my skin that hasn't seen daylight ever since I got home after the rebellion. I flinch when peeta places his hand on the small of back, he notices and starts to retract his hand. My eyes dart to his face and for a second we just stand there starring. I decided to break the starring contest and start walking to the lake were my father taught, and played with me. We sat down on a log without talking. Then as if peeta was going to get up and leave I whisper, "please", my voice sounds a lot different than I thought. it is more raspy and deep rather than my strong voice.

Peeta POV

"Please" as soon as I heard that small voice I turned to her and looked into her eyes. Oh those beautiful grey eyes. She hasn't talked ever since her mom left to work in the other districts. "What did you say?"

"Please. Tell me its going to work out and its just a nightmare and prims not dead, Finnick is not dead my mom didn't leave…and...And", katniss' ramblings soon turned into sobs that crushed my heart. I gathered her into my arms and rubbed her back and whispered, "I wish I could".

Katniss POV

The tears were now flowing freely down my face, I clutched peeta's shirt like it was the last piece of my sanity. After a while of sitting there being bundled in his arms I feel my eyelids starting to get heavy and I drifted off into a sleep that promised nightmares.

I wake to the gentle sway of peeta carrying me through the gate and the streets of twelve. For some time I just stay there until we get home then peeta notices that I am awake. One thing that I am truly thankful for is that peeta understands that you you want to go to bed or go for a walk alone it's like he already knows. He gently carries me to my room, and lays me on the bed and right before my eyelids shut for the rest of the night I hear him say "always" before he leaves the room.

I'm in a field. Tall grasses surround me as I look for something. A single word pops into my head. Dead. The field suddenly turned into the paved streets of the capitol and everyone that I loved or killed stood in a line in front of the president's house. Out of no where a mutt that looked like me killed Cato. Then a bomb to Prim. A spear to rue. Tracker jackers to glimmer. Fog to Mags. Lizard mutts to Finnick. After that the pain in my chest was screaming but I couldn't move it was almost like I was frozen in time. Then out of the darkness walked peeta. I was confused at first but then I saw him. The him was not peeta but president snow. I wanted to scream and warn peeta but I felt like my throat was on fire. Snow pulled out a knife. I started screaming like a wild man.

I woke screaming and clawing at the sheets; peeta busted into my room trying to calm me down but had no control over my traumatized body that still lived in the nightmare. I clawed and grasped anything I could to try to get out of the nightmare that was still printed on my lids. Then I see him. His worried eyes shine through the chaos. "GO!" I screamed, " Leave before I kill you!" The feeling of pain in my chest was almost unbearable. "No" he said in a calm voice which almost irritated has now wrapped me in his arms as I sob hysterically into his shirt. "I will never leave, I will be here, Always." He replies.