A/N - I suggest you read my profile description before you read this fic.

Quite possibly my messiest, least thoughtful, and clichèd fic of all.

But it was just good fun, just something I enjoyed.


"It's kind of in the title. She is the Princess of hell, of course I will not harm a hair on her head!" both brothers wore grim expressions as Crowley raised his voice.

"Alright." Dean nodded casually, arms crossed. Sam turned his head to send him a confused look, though Dean was steadily holding eye contact with the demon.

"Now, I know where she is. The only reason I 'want' her is because on the 15th she will be two decades old. And on that day every demon on this godforsaken planet is going to know too." Dean noticed with a chuckle that along with the title came the fearful stress evident in Crowley, very feather-like in nature.

"And why would those demons want her?" Sam quirked a brow, finally lending an open ear.

"Well most of the time these girls don't even live to eighteen. This one is special. Because made sure she lived. Think of her like your good friend Chuck. Just not on heaven's side, but on mine. Ours." Crowley began pouring himself a glass as he spoke. "She's not a demon. Just a human with some special skills." he took his first sip turning back to the brothers, waiting for the expected reaction.

"So… she's a prophet?" Dean furrowed his brows, squinting slightly.

"No, no. The most important thing you need to know about her, about them. The reason they all die so fast. They're brave. And I mean stupid brave, there is nothing they will not do. It's stuck in their heads, can't change that. Their powers are… they're not under their control. They are hell's best warchief. They attract hellhounds like a damn junkyard. So just don't sit down on her sofa…." Crowley shrugged, the golden liquid in his glass swaying.

"That's how I got Juliet and Growly, anyway." Crowley muttered casually. "Biggest ones I've ever seen, and they were in her backyard when she was ten. Now please, imagine what happens when every evil thing on this Earth hears that damn microchip inside of her go off." The emphasis on his words grew with each that left him, and the gravity of the situation he was conveying came across just perfectly as the Winchesters exchanged a look.

"Now I would absolutely love to leave her to your care, but you are just about as big of a demon magnet." the demon looked from one brother to the other. "So, I'll say it again, maybe you'll hear it now. If she is with me, there are few things that'll come for her."

"Why didn't you let her die." Dean interrupted the breath Crowley took to speak again, his eyes narrowing. "No way you're going through this much trouble to 'save a life'. There's something you're not telling us." Dean took a step towards the king of hell.

"You got attached." Sam said quietly, eyes narrowing in a smiling manner as he spoke what he thought.

There was a heavy silence as Crowley dropped his head to look down at his glass, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Well free hellhounds, that's something you just have to jump at. Especially with the size of those pups. But don't you call me a sap. Whoever sits on that damn throne, they have to endure a bond, I don't have a choice." Crowley hissed his last sentence, voice growing from rather pitiful to venomous.

"There ever been a prince?" Dean chortled.

"Her name is Billie King. Yeah... you heard that right. She's in Rhode Island." Crowley sighed in defeat. "She still thinks I'm a nice banker that was friends with her father." Dean promptly snorted.

"Uncle Crowley." he nudged Sam in the ribs with his elbow, chuckling.

"Yeah, just try to survive being in the same room as her." Crowley spat, rolling his eyes dramatically.

"Yeah about that…." Sam frowned slightly. "How the fuck do you want us to do that?" Dean finished for his brother.

"Please, it's not that hard. As long as she is safe and well, those mutts will be snoozing. Purring like kittens. Hell, she doesn't even know they're there, so please tell me how she'll send them after your sorry asses?" Crowley tilted his head smugly.

"You're scared to upset her, aren't you. When you tell her the truth?" Sam stole the smug expression from the demon, arching a brow.

"Exactly." Crowley lifted a finger. "Good thinking, Moose. I would much rather do it in a safer environment…."

The two landed in the Impala when Crowley snapped his fingers with a smirk. It was almost like they were used to it, neither of them pulled a face, or said a thing. Dean simply started the car, hands on the wheel.

"You really wanna just… hand her over." Sam mumbled after some time, staring at the dark road ahead of them.

"Yup." Dean nodded. Sam did too, then. With everything Crowley had told them, it was the best option, the only option if anything. At least until they figured something out, or even better, Bobby called them back.