Kings and Friends
When my father dies, kings will come to his funeral…Lionel Luthor Passes Away
Daily Planet, May 13 2015
The famous entreprenuer Lionel Luthor passed on yesterday at three o'clock. The sixty-one year old mogul's death was caused by a massive heart attack. Lionel was well-known for his charitable contributions and his love of ancient history. His seat in Luthorcorp will be filled by his son, President Lex Luthor, upon the end of Lex's term in office. Lex will also receive a lump sum of 10 billion dollars.
In a related story, a Lucas Luthor mentioned in Lionel's will. Our sources suggest that Lucas is an illegitimate child. The will grants a position to Lucas on the Luthorcorp board and a lump sum of 10 billion dollars.
Lionel's funeral will be held next Monday in Metropolis Central Park, which was donated to the city by Lionel. Among expected attendees, are former President Bush, former Presidents Clinton, President Luthor, Vice President Ross and King William of England. Donations may be made to Kansas United Charites.
…but when yours dies, his friends will come.
Obituaries and Memorials
Smallville Ledger May 6-13, 2015
Jonathan Kent, SMALLVILLE—Smallville's beloved Jonathan Kent passed away on the 12th. The fifty-nine year old was milking his cows when he suffered a heart attack. Jonathan was well-known in the community as an upright and honest man,
He is survived by his wife, Martha, and his son, Clark. Smallville has lost a great man in Jonathan Kent. His funeral will be held at the Smallville Anglican Church on Monday. Donations may be sent to the Metropolis Children's Network. We here at the Ledger truly mourn this tragic event.
