Light let's out a slow murmur, before laughing to himself. Finally, he has won. Finally, he will control the world as Kira, the ultimate being.
"Why are laughing, Light?" Asks Near, as he places his hand on his shoulder.
"I have won" whispered Light, "I am going to kill all of you"
"Light, no, please, you need to know something"
Light looked into Nears eyes. They were filled with sorrow, but yet, compassion. Near inhaled a deep breath, and spoke,
"I...I love you, Light Yagami. Ever since I read your profile, I felt something twinge in my heart. A brand new day in the chapter of my soul.".
Mello sneered from across the room. He had loved Near from the beginning, and was finding it hard to watch this. He walked out of the room to have a cigarette. He had a feeling it would be a long day.

Back in the warehouse, Near wasn't wasting anytime. Using the shocked state in Light, he pinned Light down and unbuttoned his top. Lights hairy chest beamed up at him, desperate and calling out for a lick from Near's tongue. Near almost drooled all over his nipples, but stopped himself. It'd only spoil the taste, mixing his own, lesser fluids so early-on with the glory of Light's nipples.. Light started to try and push Near off, regaining his senses. But Near had a surprising amount of strength in him, and forced his hands down.
"I have evidence against you, Light. You better keep quiet." he hissed into Lights face. Near leaned closer towards Lights perfect pink nipples, licking his lips as drew near. His lips collided with the hairy nipples, and the taste shot through Nears mouth like a rocket. He loved every second of it, and the bulge in Lights pants showed he did to. Near didn't waste this opportunity, and he unzipped Lights fly and started beating his wang. As it grew harder, so did Near. Finally, after 15 minutes of pure ecstasy, Near knew it was time. He flipped Light over, and pulled his trousers down further.
L then burst in the room
"IM NOT DEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAD" he screamed, and looked at the scene in front of him
"HE'S NOT DEEEEEEEAAAAAAAD" Near screamed back with a shocked expression. Light jumped up and pulled his trousers on. He walked forward and looked at both of his enemies in the same room, unsure of how he was feeling. He swallowed his gum. He suddenly remembered this feeling from a long time ago. When he his mother took him to see musical theatre...
"He's not dead, not dead, he's really quite ahead" He sang. Near looked at Light, and realised what he was doing.
"He's alive, he's alive, gimme a high five" he high-fived L as he sang the words.
"How did you do it?" sang out Light
"How are you alive?" Sang out Near

"Surely you would have perished back in episode 25?" they both sang in chorus.
"Well, my friends, it's really quite not hard. You just have to believe...in the heart of the cards!"
And then Yugi Moto pops out of a nearby dumpster, and bursts into a rap
"You see back in those days
Me and L were pretty tight
Like a ducks arse, how they says
We never once had a fight
And then one day, like he sworn
L had to die, like he knew
But I used the monster reborn,"
"The monster reborn?" sang Light and Near in unison
"The monster reborn." Sang back Yugi, before L sang over them all
"THE MONSTEEEEEEEER, REEEEEE-BOOOOOOORN"
"YEAH, MONSTER REBORN!" They all screamed as the manga came to an end.