Some abuse is mentioned. Swear words too. I do not own iZombie, but I own my own characters. Rated T for violence.
I walked into the funeral home. Today was Benjamin Roberts wake, and as much as I hated it, I was still going to it. I walked in behind all of the other grievers. Only difference between me and them, was the fact that I wasn't grieving. As a matter of fact, I was overjoyed. The dickhead who's funeral I was invited to was dead, and that thought made me happy.
I worked my way inside of the funeral home.
"I'm sorry for your lose." A man with white hair was telling people as they walked in. When he said the same thing, I snickered and said "Don't be. I didn't loose anyone important."
The man gave me a strange look, but didn't say anything else.
I worked my way around the room. It was big, and filled with sad people. I was probably the only person not crying.
Now, before you take me as some non-feeling robot, let me explain. Benjamin, or Ben as everyone had called him, used to be my boyfriend. I know, that may not seem like a big reason to hate him, but that's not all. Ben was cheating on me with my own now ex-best friend. And when I found out, I told him I was leaving. He didn't like that. So, he slapped me across my face and said I wasn't leaving. Well, I still left him, and when I was gone, I called the police and told them I had been abused. The police arrested him, and he got three months in prison. That was two years ago, when I was seventeen and a junior in high school.
I have no idea why his parents had invited me to his wake, but they did, and as awkward as it was, I still went. Mostly because my mom had told me I should go.
I walked over to his coffin. It was an open casket, which was a shame since he had been hit by a car. I couldn't believe that his parents had actually gone through with an open casket. "Asshole." I said to him. He didn't move or do anything. Mostly because he couldn't, since he was dead.
"Was he your friend?" A woman asked me. She obviously hadn't heard what I'd said earlier. I shook my head. "He's just somebody I used to know." I said simply.
My phone started buzzing in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. Bon Jovi. I smiled and answered it. "What's up Bon?" I asked.
Now, just so you know, I'm not actually talking to the real Bon Jovi. That was just what I called my best friend Bernard. He preferred Bon, and I preferred Tegan, from the artists Tegan and Sarah.
"Not much. Where are you at?" Bon asked me. I sighed and looked around. "I'm at Benjamin Roberts wake." I said.
"You're where?" I pulled the phone away from my ear as he shouted.
"Can I put you on hold for a second?" I put him on hold before he could answer. I walked over to the man with white hair again. "Is there some place I can have private conversation at?" I asked him.
He thought for a second, looking around. "It's really important." I added. Okay, so maybe it wasn't that important, but I didn't need everyone at the wake to hear our conversation.
"Yeah, you can go downstairs to the basement for your call. Just don't mess with anything, and come right back up as soon as your finished." The man said.
I opened the door and headed downstairs. I took Bon off hold. "Hey, I'm back." I said, reaching the bottom step.
"Good. Now, why are you at Benjamin's wake?" Bon asked me.
I sighed. "My mom said I should go." I said.
"How'd you even get invited?"
I shrugged, but then remembered that Bon couldn't see me. "Beats me." I said. I walked around the basement.
"So, how's the wake so far?" Bon asked me.
I sighed. "I guess it's okay. I've never been to one of these things before. Plus, it would probably be a lot different if I actually cared about the dead person." I said.
A noise came from the other side of the room. I spun around. The only thing there was a coffin in the middle of the room.
"Hello? Earth to Tegan." Bon said.
"Um, sorry." I said. I walked over to the coffin. "Hey, can you think of any reason why a coffin would be out in the middle of the basement of the funeral home?" I asked Bon while examining the coffin.
"Did it sound stupid when you said it out loud?" Bon asked rhetorically.
I rolled my eyes. "If you're not going to be helpful, then I can hangup." I said.
I bet Bon said something really clever in return, but I didn't hear it over the sound of someone hitting the coffin from inside.
I tried not to scream. "Can I call you back?" I asked Bon.
"Fine then, but-" Bon didn't get to finish his sentence because I pressed the end call button. I tried lifting up the lid.
Just so you know, I used to think that if you ever got trapped in a coffin it would be easy to open it, but after trying to lift the lid, I quickly changed my mind. It took me forever to try and lift it up all the way.
When I did, I almost screamed. Inside was a man.
An alive man.
The man looked just as surprised to see me. "Who are you?" He asked.
I stared at him. "Who am I? Here's a better question, why are you in a coffin? And alive for that matter?" I asked him.
"Let's just say, I got involved with the wrong people." He said. "And that things aren't exactly working out in my favor." He continued.
"Wait, who did this to you?" I asked him. "Was it the man with white hair?"
The man nodded.
"Then I'm getting out of here." I said. I started walking away.
"Wait, you can't leave me here!" The man said.
"Oh yes I can. Because if that guy upstairs finds out I know you're down here, it won't end well for me. I've seen plenty of movies to figure that out." I said.
"Look, if you leave me down here with them, they'll kill me." That stopped me in my tracks. I couldn't just leave him down here, especially when he says that he'll be killed.
"How am I supposed to get you out of here?" I asked him. "Because that guy is up there watching the basement door and the only other exit." I stated.
"There's an exit over there that the employees use. We could get out of here through there." He said. I walked over to check. He was right.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." I said to myself. I grabbed the knife on the table and cut the duct tape around the man.
"Thank you so much." The man said to me.
"Don't thank me yet." I said. "Here's my car keys. Start the dark blue car right outside the entrance, but don't leave without me. Or else the guy upstairs won't be the only person hunting you down." I said.
He nodded, then headed away.
I carefully pulled the lid down on the coffin, then headed back upstairs.
When I got up there, I looked around. The man wasn't anywhere to be seen. Maybe I would get lucky.
I started to walk towards the door when a voice behind me went "You're leaving so soon?"
I turned and saw the man with white hair. I put on a fake smile. "Um, yeah, the call was from my mom. My dad just got in an accident, and I'm heading to the hospital now." I lied. I've learned that I can be very convincing when I lie. Even Bon had trouble telling if I was lying or not.
"Okay then. I hope he makes it." The man said.
I nodded. "Thanks." I said, pretending to choke on my words. I walked away and headed towards the door.
Outside it was pouring rain. "Just great." I muttered. I didn't have an umbrella, so I sprinted to my car.
I opened the door to the drivers seat and got sat inside. "You look wet." The man said. He was sitting in the passenger seat.
"Ha ha ha." I said sarcastically. I buckled in. "So, where are you going?" I asked him.
"I live-" That's as far as he got with his sentence before he passed out.
"Really?" I asked. I tried shaking him. No movement. He was out cold.
"Great." I muttered. I put the car into drive. "I guess you're staying at my place for a while." I said aloud to no one. I started driving.
