as requested this is a reworked version of the first chapter by a beta reader. all correction and thanks go to Zangetsu50 an excellent story teller go check out his profile and stories you wont be disappointed.
Harry had never been in a worse position he was stapled to\AWq the grave of the father of the century. The man who had killed his parents and many of all those he loved was preaching about how none of them had returned, how none of them had aided him and how they all had abandoned him at a whiff of news that was his demise. He hadn't noticed harry yet he was marvelling in his own triumph over death. Harry was trying to stay a quite as possible especially as the death eaters were stunned or forced into silence.
However the pain refused to remain silent he let out a small groan before biting down on his lip and hoping that he hadn't been noticed but his hopes were crushed when Voldemort spun focusing his snake eyes on Harrys partially limp form. His face was truly horrible it was a pale white tainted with a blood like gray that showed where his veins were on his face. His nose that a normal human would have had been nothing more than a pair of snake slits. His lidless red snake eyes gazed at his hazel green ones for a moment before he spoke in a cold snake like fashion putting hisses on the end and start of each statement. He spoke
"Ah harry my boy I had almost forgotten you. The boy who lived…"
He paused so his disciples could absorb the information.
"...shall I tell them harry, shall I reveal to them the secret of your scar, how I the most powerful dark lord of this century was bested by an infant of only one year… you see my friends it was his mudblood mother in her sacrificing herself for her only son bathed him in a kind of protection… it was an old magic I should have foreseen it…. it was love…. the moment that happened I could not touch him… however now I have his blood I can… I can touch him."
He raises a long bony white finger and places it on Harry's forehead right on the scar. It was a breath moment harry felt an immense surge of pain and screamed, moments later voldemort joined him in a mocking scream. He released him from his prison and moved back rounding around the crowd of disciples like a gladiator victorious of a battle moves around to regale the crowd. The disciples spread out knowing full well what was about to happen. Stray dementors under the influence of the dark lord moved in closer hoping for a chance at stealing the soul of the dark lord's victim. Harry was on his knees.
"I presume you've been taught how to duel harry…
Turning and moving towards harry. Gesturing with his wand and to harry to entertain him like court Jester "...come on come on pick it up…
Harry knelt down and grabbed his wand "...that's it well done harry…" said Voldemort
Harry moved to attack but voldimort instantly disarmed him like a parent or teacher scolding there pupil waiting for harry to pick his wand up the death eaters were snickering.
"Now , now harry dumbaldore wouldn't want you to forget the pleasantries…. First we bow … come come harry bow…"
When harry refused he forced him with the imperious "...good…. At a boy... "
He hit him with crucio whilst harry was under the imperius curse "..after tonight harry… when people speak of you… they won't speak of you as the boy who lived.. They will say how you begged for death and I being a merciful lord obliged" Voldemort said
Snickers were heard all around as they saw the boy try to resist. At the first chance harry made a run for it after the curse had been lifted. A curse jet green flew mere hairs breadth from hitting its mark over his shoulder. In raged Voldemort screamed after him. He yelled as he chased him
"Don't you dare run from me HARRY POTTER! I want you to face me when I kill you! I want to see the lights leave your eyes!"
Another curse, again narrowly missed, hitting and exploding a nearby grave stone, as he found one to hide behind. Harry having a nerve struck at the jeers of the death eaters and Voldemort himself. Grabbed all the courage he could muster and he went to face him. Voldemort said
"Good harry… very brave… and very stupid"
He said mockingly. He and harry was about to fire their final curses when a tarring and scraping sound of a metal gate grinding open with air rushing in, along with what sounded like electricity sparking along the gates seem, occurred above Harry's head. Both paused as a 6.1ft tall tanned woman with a skull white jacket whose collar rested just beneath her teal blue eyes with two wooden looking large circles on either side of the collar. The Jackets sleeves that ran down the length of her arms to cover her hands, the fingers were an absolute opposite colour of nightmare black. The hem of the jacket rested just below the mid-point on her boobs. She had a skull white skirt like fabric that covered her legs with splits that ran the length of her legs for easy movement. She had a nightmare black sash. On her back was sheaved broad, broad sword in a pink scabbard. Her body itself was very well toned and obviously that of a vastly experienced warrior, she had wild unkempt sunburst blond hair and eyelashes, with a few long strands tied in a pony tails with blue ties at the end. She looked every bit a powerhouse ready for battle. She stepped out into fin air they all expected her to fall but she hung there effortlessly as if standing on stable floor. Voldemorts followers observed her she looked not much older than 20; she stood there with her arms folded beneath her boobs as if observing them gauging there various strengths.
Lucius spoke "Who are you?"
Her eyes darted strait to him, she didn't like the man one bit she found him repulsive so sure of his own superiority when his spiritual pressure barely registered his threat level was super minimal. Not worth her attention at all. She spoke
"I'm here for the child."
She glared at harry who was on the earth 20ft below equally bewildered as those not 10ft from him. Voldemort gave an evil smile and spoke slyly.
"Which one... the one dead on the floor or the filthy half breed standing over there."
A snap of a noise harsh sounding as if the air had suddenly contorted as it occurred she vanished and reappeared right in front of harry around 2ft from him.
"This one." She said
A red curse flew at her from a most fat and repulsive, scruffy, lily livered man she had ever seen, every bit the coward. She caught the curse in her gloved hand and to the astonishment of all present not only did it not hurt her she compressed it and chucked it hap hazardly to the side causing a small explosion. The remaining energy of the curse sparked between her fingers. Wormtail and her eyes met they made him cower in fear visibly shake, from the death glare that she gave him. A snap of air similar to the one they heard earlier occurred and she appeared directly in front of him. Her height towering over the short man his head were in line with her stomach. Griping his silver wand hand, before anyone could do anything to stop what transpired. The strange woman pulled and with unnatural strength much to the horror of Harry Potter, Peter Pettigrew's arm was torn clean from his body along with much of his rib cage and his shoulder blade.
After his body slumped to the floor dead still twitching as the body desperately tried to keep itself alive she non-committal tossed his arm to one side at the feet of the dark lord it was completely naked apart from the torn remains of a tweed ish jacket blood pooled out of both ends as the magic of the metal hand had ended. Harribel moments later had disappeared to her previous position with her arms folded between him and harry potter who just stared at her at his horrific protector was still trying to contemplate what was happening he was frozen before both her and the death eaters.
Moments after she had returned the dementors swarmed towards her at least 7. This was due to Voldemorts orders but something happened what he didn't expect. The dementor paused before her and then lowered to the ground before proceeding to bow very low as if bowing before royalty, before they disbanded and ran away as if running from a predator. Voldemort look confused he had thought they would have torn her soul from her body but instead they had treated her as both royalty and a greater threat than him the dark lord. Harribel spoke
"Why did you send the dirt beneath my feet to attack me?
Alluding to no amusement maintaining a serious tone to her voice. "They have far more sense of self-preservation than that useless creature on the floor over there." Referring to Peter Pettigrew
Something snapped in him when his attempt to deal with the interrupter of his greatest triumph so deadpan thrown back in his face his attempt to destroy her. Voldemort said
"Avada kadava"
At the same moment she clicked her fingers and as the curse rocked towards her a rip was forced open by the monstrous hands of Gillian. A foot before she was hit a yellow light slammed down into the earth and the curse that Voldimort had cast simply dispelled as it hit the yellow light that enveloped both herself and harry potter. Harry up until now he had remained silent screamed whilst crying at her. He pleaded her
"Send cederic back to Hogwarts I can't leave him here. You can do what you want with me but just send him back to his family."
Hallibel looking at him with scorn at a human requesting to do more than her mission, but admired his tenacity therefore raising her fingers she opened a Garganta beneath the corps.
"We are leaving"
She and harry began to fly up into the sky towards the clutches of the Gillian within the Garganta on top of a pair of large rock platforms which had a pyramid like base to them. Voldemort looked at them seeming to want to explode with absolute primordial rage but said calmly as he could
"I don't know what this magic is but if you think I will allow you to leave"
Hallibel raised an eyebrow
"Allow us not to leave, your ability to stop us became impossible the moment the light impacted around me and the child… it is known as negacion, It creates a pocket dimension, which makes it impossible for either party to interact once its activated. Sayonara voldemort-san.
She said goodbye as both herself and harry began to disappear into the Garganta her icy gaze never left voldemort look of pure hate. As the sound of the rip in the universe slammed shut with the sound of electric rusted steel gates voldemort screamed and shot the dark mark into the air.
Crowds of people waited to see who out the remaining contestants of the tri wizard tournament harry or Cedric would emerge from the maze. It had been hours since the task had begun and both Krum and Flerdelacore had come out either of fear of the task itself, or due to as far as they were aware being overwhelmed by the various traps. It had been too long but the teachers and various officials kept it quite, the only man who remained calm about the situation was the imposter mad eye moody aka Barty Crouch Junior. However what happened then was completely unexpected. In front of the fire and the entrance to the maze a nightmare black line slowly appeared with what appeared to be teeth. The sound was horrible it sounded like tarring and scraping sound of metal gate grinding open with air rushing in, along with what sounded like electricity sparking along the gates seem. The rip buckled inward like teeth griping tightly together before it began to open like a great maw shaped similarly like an eye with rough teeth edges. Everyone had stopped stared some screamed with horror at staring into the nothingness that was within this gate. The gate gave off an ominous evil aurora it caused the ground around it to freeze and gave off an emotional response of dread much like that provided by dementors but at a much, much greater level, it almost instantly made those close to it feel the dread that one feels just before the dementors kiss was given.
Out of this maw echoing footsteps could be heard slowly approaching the party, it sounded like wood against echoing stone passageway. The steps seemed weighted as if carrying something. In her arms could be seen a limp body. As she got closer the amber light of the flames illuminated her image further, she was beautiful she had shocking dull green hair, beneath her large brown eyes was a red mark. A haunting crown of a mask was sat on top of her head, its bony skull like features and colour resembled that of a goat with teeth extending down her forehead. It looked as though the mask was broken around the edges suggesting that at one time there might have been more of her mask. Her cloths where white and rapped themselves tightly embalmed in bandage like cloth, displaying her feminine assets. She had a sword strapped to her waste in a green scabbard. As the light dropped down further they looked on in horror as the body she had been carrying was none other than Cedric Diggery. Her approach finally stopped when she existed the portal however they were all instantly floored when a massive pressure suddenly erupted from her, this was due to the fact that many arorors present as well as a few teachers had drawn there wands. However the pressure only lasted a second before dying down to a reassuring, non-threatening and comforting presence. She bent down on one knee and ceremonially placed the child down on the floor. As soon as the boy was on the floor arors fired stunning spell at her she avoided all of them by stepping to the right or the left. A man ran from the crowd. It was Mr. Tom Diggery
Mr. Tom Diggery (I think, it's been 3 years) said "Let me through let me through…"
As he pushed passed the crowds and froze when he saw the body of his son, a tear came to his eye.
Mr. Tom Diggery cried out "No…not my boooyyyyyy….. not my sooonnn."
He wept and looked up at the woman who had brought him giving a death glare to her as he held his son in his arms rocking back and forth. He then placed his son down on the floor and pulled out his wand pointing the tip of it into her throat, his face a mask of sorrow and pain. The whole time all her eyes and facial expression showed was pity.
Mr. Tom Diggery glared "What did you do… you killed him… why?"
She didn't answer all she did was look at the lifeless child on the floor. The point of his wand dug deeper into her throat. Dumbledore sensed that tom was about to do something he would regret so he rushed over to stop him. Holding onto his wrist pushing some of his power into Tom's wand to disrupt the flow of magic so he could not cast the curse he knew tom wanted to cast.
Dumbledore tried to comfortly say "Tom stop is this really what you want; killing her will not bring him back."
Mr Diggery replied "But he's my son Dumbledore she killed him."
She spoke in her own tongue, still with the wand tip buried into her throat, with a kind gentle but serious voice that showed not an ounce of it being words from one who was lying.
"I did not kill your son. I was merely the one who retrieved him from the one who did." Dumbledore looked at her
"Who are you? Who killed Cedric? And where is harry potter?"
In English she raised her gentle voice to a more serious one.
"I am the third Espada Neliel Tu Oderschvank, Harry is alive and in our possession. I have a message from harry potter. The man who killed the Diggery-san was Tom Malvaleo Riddle or Lord Voldemort as he is more commonly known. Lord Voldimort has returned."
A few screams and most shuddered at the mere mention of his name. The wand on her throat had been taken away and the man had sunk to the ground. Crouching in front of him and giving him a gentle hug and giving him a gentle hug she whispered.
"Gomen ne for your loss.
Standing she turned to leave but stopped when she noticed something off about the man with the shifting eyeball. His reatsu was fluctuating, it appeared that one person reatsu was being cloaked partly or distorted to feel like another. She turned fully and spoke pointing her finger at moody.
"Who are you? You are not the man you appear to be."
All turned and looked at moody. Moody had almost invisibly flinched out of instinct to run.
An Auror said "What makes you say that Alistair isn't who he says he is."
Nel replies "His reatsu is off, it's as if one reiatsu is coving another's, I recognise the affect because someone I know can do something similar but more efficiently."
All the Auror as well as some of the teachers instantly grabbed the imposter.
Dumbledore replied "That would explain why ingredients for polyjiuce potion have been disappearing from your store Severus."
Nel confused replied "Poly? Juice? Potion?"
Dumbledore explained "A potion that properly brewed and in the right concentrations allows a person to assume the shape of another provided they have a sample of the intended target. It's very dangerous to over use the potion as it can be very painful to transform back to your original form that's why transfiguration is better though not as effective." Nel nodded
She turned around and stepped back into the portal, she turned her face so half of her face showed as she looked at him fully and spoke
"Arigato, Dumbledore-san. Harry potter will be returned to you in 3 months at the start of the next Hogwarts school year. Sayonara"
The gate slowly closed behind her before sealing itself with a high pitch electrical noise in a similar way to how it opened accept the pressing of teeth and lips together part. They all looked on for several minutes, the Auror took the imposter along with the senior teachers to the tower where he worked, so that they could find the real moody.
