Secret Ch 1
Warnings: Fontcest, gender identity stuff, later chapters will be M
I have a secret. Well actually. I have several secrets. It's kind of part of my charm. Many of my secrets I have to keep hidden so that others do not worry but one of them…
"Brother, I am going training with Undyne now I will be back later please pick up that sock in the living room while I am gone. And this time when you pick it up please do not just set it back down in the same spot. And by that I mean do not just set it down beside where it was originally. Move it to your room. And when you move it do not bring it back."
"Will do bro." Papyrus leaves and I do exactly as he asked. After bringing the sock to my room I pick up a different sock and place it where the first was. "Well nothing like a nap after doing something productive." I go into Pap's room and lay down on his bed. It feels safe here.
I have a secret. The only reason no one knows is because I've lived with this secret my whole life. It isn't anything bad or really anything good. It's just a secret. I could tell people. Or at least tell my brother but it wouldn't change anything and really I don't know how I could even bring it up.
I slide the blankets over me and press myself against the wall. I don't sleep well. At least not in my own room. But in this bed where my brother sleeps peacefully I can almost sleep without fear of night terrors. Past time lines come back to me in waves of fear choking me. Drowning unable to reach the surface until Paps shakes me awake. I don't sleep at night. But in the mornings when my brother leaves to train I crawl into his bed and I feel safe. Like the action figures can protect me from what has already happened.
This is my reality. And in what place does my secret have amongst all this misery. My secret is so minor and insignificant that no one would be affected. But. Every day that I keep it hidden feels like a lie to myself.
Papyrus and I were created by the previous royal scientist. I wonder sometimes If my brother even remembers. I remember. We were created to be mates to one another. Two halves of one monster. Orange and his compliment blue. I was created first from his left hand, Papyrus from his right. There was a time before Papyrus was created that I was alone. Sometimes I remember that loneliness. Sometimes I experience it anew.
Shortly after Papyrus was created, the royal scientist fell into the core. Having been created first I knew what Papyrus and I were meant to be. And I knew what I was. I called him my brother and he held my hand as I led him out of the lab. I remember he had many questions. I told him my name and then I told him his. He seemed to like his name.
I hold his pillow between myself and the wall. I have a secret. Every day I wonder if I should tell him. It will only get harder if I choose to wait. Or should I even tell him. It wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't change who I am. I could just pretend a little longer. He doesn't have to know. So why do I want him to know.
He will be back soon so I reluctantly crawl out of his bed and go to my own. Pappy is kind and innocent. I know he would not treat me any differently. Do I want him to treat me differently? He knows that we were meant to be mates. I told him though neither of us ever acted on it. Would he… if he knew my secret. It's so easy and comfortable between us. Would that change if he found out. I can't keep going back and forth. Do I tell him or not?
I'm not his brother. If anything… I would be his sister.
