(A/N): Well my goodness, what do we have here? A post? Take a moment to relax and read this short preface, as I am about to explain the title. If you don't want to, skip to the ***.
What we have here is essentially practice. Practice of a pitiful writer who has expanded had her ego so greatly from grades in her literature class that it was going to burst if she didn't start writing before the blood eeked from her ears. So, now we have this monstrosity. This conglomeration of...well, crap.
Some may be short. They may be riddled with errors and mistakes (which I would be very glad if you pointed out). They also may need a makeover and an oreo smoothie, mint is preferable.
But the best thing is, IT'S ALL TRUE. Or atleast all based off of my life.
I have the worst luck, as you will soon see if you keep up with this.
**So, IMPORTANT. Most of these "chapters" (more like journal entries) are not going to be very interlinked. They're written day to day when inspiration strikes, so if you'd like you can apply a time-line by the dates I list, but it's AU, and each chapter will usually be held in a different regard. I will provide a brief summary for each beforehand, so you can tell what is appropriate for your age, if it interests you, and if you even want to bother with it. So there ya go. Most will be Akatsuki-centric, so if you're here for Kakashi, please leave. He's not going to show up for a while, if at all. However, if you're here to read about Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Sasori, Itachi, or Tobi, you're in the money. I abuse them the most. Many mentions of Zetsu, Kisame, Konan, and Pain though. But laaaater~
And, to get it out of the way:
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing that I am about to post; characters, plot, or organizations. Save my own stupidity. That is mine alone.
*** Also, following posts will only contain the below section. No more of me rambling. If you want that, go to my author's page, which I'm about to edit.
Title: Momentary Distraction (late edition)
Date: February 7thish, 2011
Rating: T (character death Warning: First person)
Genre: Tragedy/Angst
Characters: Sasori, Deidara.
Summary: "When life gives you lemons, dance. When it gives you lemonade, pray it doesn't shoot you in the eyes while you're trying to get at it."
"Dan…Danna?"
I spoke tentatively, swift gasps of air causing my voice to be little more than a hiccup in the intense silence of the room. The suddenness of my voice had caused me to jump, as though I had frightened myself.
It was strange to see the puppeteer lying motionless amid the creations he considered to be his life, their eyes blank and uncaring, unsympathetic to the being that did not belong among them.
Burning chocolate eyes, awkwardly jade for one of such high birth were hidden, only the tie of the apron visible to me. I had to commit my legs to taboo. I wanted to be closer to him. Danna was just sleeping, I'm sure of it. Each bend of the knee moved me forward, each step dulled in the space around us. Several arms were outstretched to meet me, though I'm sure it was only chance that caused his creations to welcome me and that strange, nonexistent pressure between my lower arms and higher shoulders that lead me to the thought. It was amusing to me that only seconds ago in another room I had given you a large hug, mostly in jest, and felt the arms return and their pressure – the 'I-know-you-appreciate-me-but-knock-it-the-fuck-off' squeeze – and it has not left my forearms, my chest, since. It almost seems to boil from within, spreading beyond the touch of your wrists and fingertips and leaving the area actually contacted numb.
Small cracks of protest alerted me to how many new additions you must have been working on, causing me to remove my foot from the belligerent section of puppet and find a new, unconscious route to you. The distance did not feel long, I was by your side in but a moment, but the rock that had lodged itself in my throat had yet to remove itself and allow me to speak again. Only one thought drives me to reach out and clutch your protruding arm, one alone that sends fire up my fingers and turns my blood to ice as you fall in one unrestrained movement to your back. 'I want to see your eyes.'
I swear I feel something snap and the gas I inhale turns to ice. All I can do is see- see you and the brown eyes staring at nothing, the mouth so tightly shut that even air is not granted passage. It matters little, you're not trying. But I HEARD you- just moments- the creak of puppets- why are you lying here?
The rest of you lie motionless as your eyes. Why weren't you breathing? In a shock of movement, I pull the shoulder farthest from me up and begin patting your back roughly, each slap meant to rouse you from still sleep. I don't care for sense and I don't care how it would work- I just know I want you back, even if I'm unsure you are gone at all. You could just be asleep and yell at me for touching you so harshly later. But each touch to your back leaves my head reeling- would it be my last touch?- but just moments ago- you're coming to!
You convulse and I feel the world begin to rotate once more as it relieves my arms of their burden. Motion! The very movement of your back, even though it's strained and hinted to little more than breathing, puts my own world back in motion and lets me live again. I want to cry, to sob and pull you to me; thank my gods- your gods- whoever! Yet as I crawl, knees knocking against the roughened floor and causing blood to escape from beneath the hem of the too-small clothing you had given me, to your face and deign to cup your chin in my hands, if only to remove it from the floor, I find my pain is only just beginning.
You feign return, fluttering eyelids which had jammed shut to hide the vacant amber, and I can hear the wisp of air as it pushes itself from your nostrils. "There you are!" I cry and fumble with my right hand, jamming it into my pocket and struggle to hold your head upright with my left –were you even trying to hold it up? "You have to push it all out Danna, come on!"
Of course I saw it! How can I miss it? My mind may be filled with delusion for your life, but the bubbles forming in the thin, white, mucus-like substance draining from your nose hints only the ominous but it fills me with renewed joy. You were trying! My right hand tremors and misses the package I had aimed for, but finally clutches and withdraws the plastic package full of tissues. You yourself had given them to me less than a week ago; a souvenir, you had said, for my illness and a precaution to avoid wiping my nose across the sleeves you would have to wash later. The sudden earthquake in my hands would not deter me, however.
Using the higher portion of my right sleeve, since it only stretches to just below the elbow, I gently press it across your nose, removing as much of the white as I can while my fingers grope for the up leafed tissue. Returning my hand as I tug my arm back, I remove the tissue and stagger as I catch your eye.
Your head may be limp, but your eyes remain the penetrating orbs they have always been. I want to sob, but only manage to separate my lips in an attempt to repeat our formality, but the 's' of your name slips past. It takes little time for me to notice your tongue, and while it may be lolling it is still within your mouth.
I wonder if it had been out before.
I hadn't allowed myself to look.
You speak no words, though that may be for the better. The inside of my head is screaming a plethora of different thoughts, and I find if you had spoken I might not have heard. Yet your eyes, adoring amber yet no longer alight with the fire- the passion- you contained during your puppet making, hold my own sapphire. Neither of us can move, youfrom inability and myself from turmoil.
Dark amber- brown, lidded with an understanding, a knowing that I could not fathom, lock onto my own roving cobalt blue.
Your eyes weren't shining, Danna. I wonder if you knew.
The glazed orbs lead me to a deep sadness, an acceptance in them that I cannot oblige. "No, Danna…un."
The steadiness of my own voice drifts about us, but I know I cannot remain collected for much longer. It was strange enough I had maintained this long in the first place.
You gave up. I watched as your eyes rolled upwards, hiding your iris beneath stilled lids and my beating heart stops. "D…Danna!" I continue to slap your back, each hit more rigorous than the last. "S…Sasori! Sasori no Danna!" The fluid was now coating my hand. "Sasori, don't give up, un!"
My Danna wasn't there anymore.
Who wants to guess what horrible life experience caused that? I'll even let you guess the disease. Woo! I have more and they're better than this (and not first person, huzzah!), but be patient. Til later!
~OblivionKeeper
