Dependency
~ A Wicked Fanfic ~
~ By Heatqueen ~
Elphie would think Galinda was mad.
No – what a bland statement, Galinda thought, frustrated. That was the kind of generalisation anyone could make. Such sweeping statements were proof of a lack of knowledge of the person in question, and Galinda was certain that she did know Elphie.
Now what would she really think?
This sort of monologue had been whirring around in her head for the last hour since Elphie had left for the library. Every second of silence brought fragmented, exasperated thoughts. Thoughts about how there was once a time when she didn't have thoughts, or when her thoughts centred on flighty daydreams about ideals that no longer seemed so ideal. Most frustratingly, she caught herself grousing over how, at the beginning of Shiz, she had never once concerned herself with the green girl's thoughts at all, and yet nowadays any moment spent without her precious Elphie was a moment wasted.
She might be flattered, Galinda dared to think. But again, that was a sweeping idealism. Elphaba Thropp, flattered by her affections? I am little more than a spoiled social climber; there is no way she would be flattered by the likes of me.
Yet, despite this, Galinda couldn't help but hope, and wonder, and furiously try to figure out how well Elphie would receive such a notion, or if she would understand. Galinda was positive that Elphie had never experienced such a deep level of obsession – except perhaps for her books. Books were hardly the same. They were decidedly inanimate and (in Galinda's opinion) soulless (Elphie would beg to differ).
I bet she would never love me as much as a book.
A pout spread across her lips. Times like this, she found herself questioning everything.
Does she even care? She's been gone for hours! Does she not understand how excruciating it is to be left alone for hours on end? How is it so easy for her to forget about me, but so difficult for me to forget about her?
She often felt that her roommate didn't care at all. Late nights spent waiting for her Elphie to reappear left tears in her eyes as she wondered what was keeping her away. Sometimes, Galinda would wait up late until Elphie returned at incredibly early hours of morning, and would pout at the very ordinary way in which Elphie greeted her. There was no particular display of excitement, no indication that Elphie was anything more than mildly happy to see her. On the contrary, Galinda constantly struggled to keep herself in check, barely containing an excited bounce as the appearance of her roommate washed over her and instantly calmed her explosive thoughts.
It's like hiding a drug addiction, she mused. Only Elphie's the drug.
She would hate me if she found out.
And thus, Galinda had come full circle, from feeling frustrated with her roommate's absence, to wondering what would happen if Elphie found out about her thoughts. With an exasperated growl she grabbed her hair in her fingers, tugging it until it hurt too much to continue.
Stop this! she scolded herself. Think about something else!
But there was little else to be thought of. A barely-started essay rested on her desk. That was decidedly to be ignored until the situation became alarmingly desperate. The sad reality that Galinda had still not kicked her awful study habits was not a suitable replacement. She scowled at it and shut her eyes, racking her brains for something else.
Fashion, boys, parents…um…sorcery…history – no, definitely not…
None of it was worth her time. None were nearly as important as Elphie.
I wish she would get back already!
As if by magic, the door clicked open –
ELPHIEEEEEE!
She forced herself to count three slow, painful seconds before allowing herself to turn.
'Hi,' she said with a meek smile. She could feel her cheeks heating up quickly.
'Evening,' Elphie replied nonchalantly, before stalking over to the bathroom. The minute the door was shut, Galinda let out her breath, that she hadn't realised she was holding.
'You could give me more than that,' she muttered – but then, she hadn't exactly given Elphie any more either.
I wish she would sweep me up in her arms and tell me how much she missed me. I wish she would tell me how hard it is to be away from me.
But Elphie wouldn't. For starters, Elphie wasn't like that. Such gushing statements were Galinda's penchant, the sort of things Elphie would roll her eyes to.
Galinda whiled away the rest of the time sitting dead still in her chair, her stomach doing flip flops as she awaited the moment Elphie would emerge from the bathroom. She yearned for and dreaded it. I would have to think of things to say, appropriate ways to converse without appearing awkward! Maybe it would be better not to say anything. I could always pretend to be asleep. But that would mean missing out on potentially an entire conversation with Elphie. And besides, I want her to come and say goodnight. It's always so much better when she gives me a proper goodnight.
When Elphie finally did emerge from the bathroom, Galinda forced herself not to stare, instead putting up pretence of filing her nails.
'Well goodnight then,' said Elphie.
Galinda blinked.
'Oh – goodnight.'
And that was it for the night, she realised. Reluctantly, she climbed into bed and squinted at the other side of the room. She watched as Elphie bundled herself up and turned towards the wall. Not another sound was made. Galinda fought off a lump in her throat.
Yet another day has passed, she thought, and it's still the same. And still would be, for many days more.
