How would I be to have never known love? To never have experienced this feeling, to never bask in it's warmth? To never be loved… the worst nightmare, the seventh circle of hell, beyond anything a normal person could possibly imagine. How, they ask, how is it that somebody could never be loved?

These people have never met Dr. Jizabel Disraeli. The odd young doctor with ash blonde hair, the strange young man with a disturbing knack for scalpels, the old one who watches the world through eyes of an innocent, the clear blue eyes of a child. He, indeed, has never known love… all he knows is hate. All he knows is pain. All he knows is fear.

The perfect human experiment… Look, see? See how twisted a single man may become once denied such a basic element? See how perverse his sense of the world is? See how he responds with condescendence, with pity, upon any who dare intrude upon his own, personal nightmare? See how he treads the narrow path to hell by himself? Do you see him? Do you?

Even more importantly, can he see himself? Can he tell that he is on his way to the dark? That he turned from the light? Can he tell that the way he goes is one without a way back? Can he see? Can he tell?

Maybe he can… maybe he can. But, if he can, you ask, why does he not give up? Why does he not repent? It all comes down to the same thing.

Because he can't. He doesn't know how to stop the wild waves of hatred that sweep him along.

Even if he could, he knows full well that they would probably kill him before releasing their hold.

And so he walks on, alone. Exiled from our pretty, ideal world, he is the only one who has removed those rose-tinted glasses through which we all see things. For us, the stark black and white or good and evil is absolute. Something that has always been there. But for him, it fades, it dissolves, it transforms into shades of gray. The monochromatic tones of our lives apply not to him. But is he free? No, no. Not free.

He's a prisoner. Trapped in his own vicious circle of hate and pain.

He can't escape.

He doesn't know how.