Story: Budget Cuts!
A BIG thank you to my fabulous friends HB and Twilightened for your beta expertise! You guys are amazing!
Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related (except my own personal copies of the books)... All characters are owned by the fabulous Stephenie Meyer!
Chapter 1: Enough is Enough!
Carlisle Cullen
Sucking in a deep breath, I exited the Emergency Room of the newest hospital to employ me. Fourteen hour days for the past four weeks. Wow... Physically, I felt fine- mentally, on the other hand... drained.
All I felt like doing was going home to my beautiful, sweet wife. The thought of relaxing in front of our fireplace, snuggled together sent chills up my spine. How long had it been since I fed last? I guess I should grab a bite to eat first... better yet, maybe Esme will come with me.
I flipped my phone open and pressed her speed dial number.
"Hi, handsome," she purred into the phone.
"Just what I wanted to hear! How 'bout you and me take a walk on the wild side when I get home?" I said as suggestively as I could.
Esme giggled quietly into the phone before her heavy breathing picked up. "How long until you get home?"
I smiled into the phone. "Already here..."
I parked my car in the garage, noticing right away that the brand new, supped up Camaro Rosalie had bought was completely stripped and the engine was sitting on the a workbench in front of me.
Shaking my head, I sucked in a deep breath. Why the hell did she buy all the extras on the damn car if she was just going to strip it and redo it? I forced myself to get out of my car, exit the garage and walked up the front steps of the house.
I could sense another disaster before I even opened the door. I paused with my hand on the handle for a moment and then turned the knob and opened the door.
I stood there in shock looking at the scene before me. UPS had obviously been here as three rows of boxes stood, stacked four high. All the boxes had the same name on them and all were unopened... Alice! More clothes I bet... like she has anywhere to put them... she already overtook the guest room and turned it into a second closet... Gritting my teeth I looked away from them.
A gasp escaped as I looked at my favorite chair. What was left of it that is... The rage was building inside of me. Emmett and Edward had to stop with their heated wrestling matches. I was continually finding new pieces of furniture adorning our house to replace the ones they had been thrown into, landed on, or used as objects to throw at the other opponent...
Stepping over the pile of smashed game controllers, I walked up the steps to my office. I knew I had to calm myself down before I saw Esme. My sweet wife, who has been cleaning up the messes our darling little demolition crew has made over the past century. Ugh... Poor Esme... How many walls has she repaired that have born the likeness of our three son's frames? How many windows has she replace from objects thrown from the hands of our three daughters towards their husbands when smart ass comments were made that the girls didn't appreciate so much?
Scrubbing my hands over my face I plopped down in my chair at my desk. Great... mail's here.
Picking up the stack of bills and statements, I sorted out the junk mail. So many catalogs from the kid's online subscriptions... How many magazines does one need on Southern living or war toys? How many mechanic and auto magazines? How many clothing companies could be out there, and why must they ALL come to our house?
As I sorted out the mail, I picked up the stack of envelopes from our banks and credit card companies. I shouldn't have been shocked at how thick each one was, but for some reason the normalcy of how thick they were didn't seem normal any longer.
Slicing the first envelope from Citibank, I pulled the statement out. Nice... This was the card Alice favored. I unfolded the 17 pages of statement and started to look at all the purchases. I shook my head and scanned all the pages quickly feeling my temperature rise... And how was that even possible? I had no beating heart, no blood in my veins to warm my body.... I must really be losing it.
How in the hell could one person charge up $48,562.71 in one month? That just doesn't seem possible! What is that little devil buying? She has almost maxed her card out. I thought that a $50k limit was high enough, but she has been pushing the limit every month! The minimum payment is more than some people make in a month. This has got to stop!
I went on to the next envelope. Great! American Express... Jasper's... At least his statement wasn't more than 4 pages... a grand total of... Crap! $49,997.34. What the hell did he buy? Scanning the statement, I was amazed at the charges from Cabela's, Barnes and Noble, Walden Books, Victoria's Secret? Clenching my teeth, I put it down to reach for the next statement.
Great. Discover Card... Nice and thick... thicker than Alice's... Not good. I tore the envelope open and pulled out the 25 page statement. Rosalie! I wanted to scream as the total charges came out to $151,489.33. I could only assume these charges were for her newest project that was taking its place in the garage. If she wanted a damn convertible, she should have chosen a convertible model instead of purchasing a do it yourself kit. Slamming the statement down on my desk, I let my head fall into my hands as I ran my fingers through my hair.
I started to pick up the next envelope as Esme walked in. I looked up to see her look of puzzlement as she crossed the room to my desk. "Carlisle? Is everything ok?" She paused a moment. "I thought we were heading out..."
I blew out a deep breath as sat back in my chair and ran my hands over my hair again, locking them behind my head. I looked up at Esme, who now sat on the edge of my desk.
"I got side tracked. These kids are out of control, Esme. I bust my butt day in and day out, hardly taking time for myself. Don't get me wrong, I love my job but when I come home to a brand new vehicle torn apart in our garage, boxes upon boxes of who knows what in my living room, when we all know the little walking ATM has no room for another thing in her 2 closets, and my favorite chair destroyed..." I took a deep breath to clear my head before I continued, "Look at these statements! They spent more money in 1 month than I make in a whole year! I know we have more than we could ever spend, but this is just not right! We seem to be raising irresponsible, lazy, ungrateful children. The pathetic thing about this whole situation is their age! They are not teenagers like they appear!"
Esme stood up from where she was sitting and moved closer to me. She put her hand lovingly on my shoulder before sitting down on my lap. "You work so hard Carlisle. They do take a lot of things for granted, and maybe it is time for them to learn a thing or two about holding down a job and the worth of a dollar." Esme's sweet voice always calmed me when I was upset and this was no exception.
Smiling, I pulled her hand to my mouth and kissed it gently. "They are old enough to learn responsibility. I think it is time we sit down and write out a budget. We can give them a modest monthly allowance. But, if they need more than that, they will need to get a job and prove they can support themselves!"
Esme smiled sweetly. "I think you're right. Let's go for that walk we talked about earlier, shall we?"
Sometime the next day...
I finally had a day off. I locked myself in my office all morning trying to focus on keeping Edward out of my head while going about the business I had decided upon. I took my time opening the rest of the mail and going over our financials so I could put together a budget. I knew that this was not going to go over well with the kids, but enough was enough!
I worked -- and reworked -- the budget several times, trying to make sure it was perfect. I made a note of the amount of money the kids spent over the past month and made sure it was highlighted in red on each credit card statement. After printing out copies for everyone to have their own, I headed downstairs to call a family meeting.
"I need everyone to come to the dining room immediately please," I called loud enough for everyone to hear.
One by one, they started to file in, sitting in the chairs around the table. Alice was the last to come in and by the look on her face, she was none too happy with me. Once everyone was seated, I took my place at the head of the table. Edward made eye contact with me, letting me know that he knew what was going on as well. I cleared my throat and started to speak, "I'd like to thank everyone for coming in so quickly-"
"Why so formal 'dad'?" Alice sneered.
"First of all, young lady, I can call a family meeting when I feel the need, and secondly, I don't need an attitude from you."
Emmett leaned back in his chair. "What's got your panties in a bunch, sis? Spill it!"
"Carlisle's the one with his panties in-" Alice said before I could cut her off.
"Alice! I will be the one leading this meeting. With that said, Esme will be handing out a packet to each one of you. The top page is the new budget we are putting into place effective immediately, the following pages are copies of all the credit card statements that came in the mail yesterday."
I heard a low grumblings from everyone as they looked at the packet in front of them.
Alice flipped the cover of hers open and let out a shrill scream. "You cannot be serious! You expect me to live every month on 'chump change'? Have you been self medicating? I had a vision that we were going to live on a small amount of money each month, but never thought it would be pennies!"
A warm blanket of calm swept the room and I shot a glance to Jasper. "Thanks, Jasper."
"Not helping, Jazz!" Alice sang with a dead calm voice.
"Why don't you explain why you made up this budget, Carlisle," Edward added.
Taking a deep breath, I glanced around the table, making sure to make eye contact with everyone before I spoke again, "Out of everyone in this room, I am the only one to work outside the home. I love my profession. It gives me such joy and satisfaction. Esme works very hard to keep the home clean and maintained. I feel that Esme and I are doing a great disservice to you children lately. You don't seem to understand the value of money or working for it."
"What's not to understand? You see something you want to buy, let's say the price tag is $78 dollars. You give them your credit card and it's paid for! All you have to do is sign on the line. Occasionally, you have to show your ID, but not very often," Alice chimed in with a nasty tone.
"True, but what do you do to earn that money you spend, Alice?" I challenged. "What do any of you do to earn the money you spend?"
"Well, I see what the stock market is going to do, and then we act on it," Alice sneered.
"I don't feed off humans," Jasper said quietly. "That's worth a lot in my opinion."
"I keep all the cars tuned up," Rosalie stated proudly.
"I keep my eye on Rosalie and hand her tools while she's maintaining the cars. I guess you could call me her assistant," Emmett joked.
"Maybe her ASSistant." Alice laughed, and soon after the rest of the room filled with laughter.
"Ok, that's enough. You will each get $500 on the 1st of each month, that money needs to last you through the whole month. If you find that you need more money than that, you will need to get a job."
"What? Are you serious?" Alice and Rosalie bellowed together.
"Dead serious."
"I'll just use my account when I run out of money," Alice whispered smugly to Jasper.
"Um, Alice, I am putting a freeze on all the credit cards. We will not be using them from here on out. Esme and I will be on the same cash budget as everyone else."
"We go to school all day and have homework after we get home from school!" Alice whined.
I looked at Alice. "How many times have you graduated from high school, Alice? You know everything there is to know. You don't study, and you get your homework done before the class even lets out. Nice try."
I glanced over at Edward and Bella. "You two have been quiet. Is there anything you would like to say about this?"
"Not really," Edward said politely.
"How long are we going to be on this budget?" Bella asked softly.
"We will re-evaluate in 6 months. If I feel that everyone has grown from this experience, we might drop the budget as long as everyone can keep their spending within reasonable limits."
"Six months," Rosalie grumbled.
"Alright, even though we are half way through the month, I am feeling a bit generous today. I will give all of you the full $500. Again, if you don't feel it is enough, get a job and earn more. Are we clear?" I asked.
"Crystal," Alice murmured.
I took my time handing out 5 crisp hundred dollar bills to each of the kids and Esme.
Alice Brandon Whitlock Cullen
Five hundred dollars. I can't believe Carlisle expects me to survive on a measly $500 dollars! That wouldn't even begin to cover a few outfits!
"Where am I supposed to get a job?" I couldn't help but whine.
"I'm pretty sure the golden arch's are in need of a fry cook," Emmett joked.
I glared at him as I flipped him the bird. "Not a chance!"
Esme put her arm around me. "Why don't you see if your favorite store at the mall is hiring, dear. You would be able to be around your favorite things and it probably wouldn't even feel like work. I bet you would get an employee discount as well."
Bella giggled, "Yeah Alice, you could be dressing up several people a day and actually get paid for it."
I couldn't help but jump up and down and clap my hands. "Oh my gosh! You are a genius! I don't know why I never thought of this before!"
Rosalie Hale McCarty Cullen
I watched Carlisle leave the room before turning to Emmett. "This will be a piece of cake. We can pool our money for anything I need." I leaned over to kiss him.
"Nah, babe. I need my money just as much as you need yours."
"You're kidding, right?" I looked into his eyes, waiting to see him agree with me.
"No, Rose. I go through a few game controllers a day. They add up."
Game controllers! I can't believe that I am married to such a selfish child. I wonder how much he would be willing give me to keep a dry spell from hitting. "Well, how 'bout I charge you anytime you want to get frisky?"
Emmett let out a booming laugh. "So your chosen profession is prostitution?"
I quickly cocked my arm back and let it fly. How dare he say that! I would never sell my body!
Emmett clutched his stomach. "Ow, Rose!"
"You're an idiot!"
Esme laid her hand on my shoulder. "How about looking into working at an auto shop? You would get to take cars apart and put them back together again. It is something you enjoy and you would be paid to do it."
That made me relax. "Thanks, Esme. I think I might do that."
Jasper Whitlock Cullen
I might as well just get a job now. Alice will be spending my money for me anyways.
"Thanks, Jazz," Alice chirped before kissing me quickly on the cheek and snatching the cash out of my hand.
"Alice," I said as calmly as I could.
"What?"
"Can you please give me my money back?"
"Oh Jazz, we're married! Haven't you heard the saying, 'what's your's is mine'?"
Of course she left off the rest of the saying.
"Um, yeah. If you want to play it that way-" I quickly reached out to snatch all the money out of her hands, but not quickly enough.
Alice giggled. "Oh Jazz, you might be fast, but not fast enough!"
I bet I could get a job at the library. I love books and to be surrounded by them all afternoon would be very relaxing.
Emmett McCarty Cullen
Rose! Laughing to myself, I thought about how she tried to convince me to hand over my money. I could hold out during a dry spell about as long as she could. We were equally matched when it came to our 'drives'.
"So Em, how are you going to earn extra money?" Jasper asked quietly.
"I think I might head on down to The Daily Grind and see if they are hiring."
"Oh, you'd be a great bouncer."
"Nah, I think I may try to be the entertainment."
Jasper's mouth hit the floor. "You'd better run that by Rosalie first. I don't think she will go for that one."
I shrugged and then felt Rosalie's hand hit the back of my head. "Ouch, Rose! Cut it out!"
"You are not working at a strip club, you bonehead!" Rosalie hissed.
"Just think of all the tip money, Rose. I'll give you half of my earnings. It sounds fun!" I pleaded.
"Whatever," Rosalie huffed as she stormed out of the room.
Bella Swan Masen Cullen
The budget didn't bug me. In fact, I was a little excited about it. I had wanted to get a job since we'd moved from Washington. The only thing that kept me back was my insecurities around humans. I still couldn't stand the smell of human blood, but I always worried that I would run into someone whose smell didn't repulse me.
Edward put him arm around me. "What are you thinking, love?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "About getting a job."
Edward laughed lightly. "Why, Bella? You hardly even spend over one hundred dollars a month. You don't have to get a job!"
"But I want to. It feels good to have some responsibilities."
Edward leaned his head down toward mine. "What type of job were you thinking about?"
"Don't laugh, Edward." I bent my head down, hiding my face. "I was thinking about applying at an Urgent Care."
I heard Edward suck in a quick breath so I tipped my head up and glanced at him. He looked extremely confused with a hint of humor on his face.
Emmett let out a hearty laugh as he bellowed, "Bella! Urgent Care? Since you got to see the inside of the emergency room intimately, that would be the perfect job for you!"
Edward let out a low growl as he shot a warning look at Emmett.
I rolled my eyes. "Yes Emmett, I did get to know a lot of medical staff when I would visit Urgent Care, but I would have a chance to help people that are in pain."
"Bella, think about this for a second. You will be in an environment where blood and opened wounds could be an hourly occurrence. Are you ready for that possibility?" Edward asked cautiously.
"I know you are worried about me, Edward, but I will be fine. I will hold my breath if it gets too much for me."
"If you want to help out people in the health field, why not work with the elderly? I bet there would be less blood in a retirement home."
"Ew! I had a hard time when I was human with the smell of old people- moth balls are not my opinion of a good work environment," I said while rolling my eyes.
Edward Anthony Masen Cullen
I watched Bella as she explained her reasoning as to why she wanted to get a job even though she didn't really need the money. She was one amazing woman, that was for sure. Bella softly laid her hand on my thigh. "What are you going to do?"
"I was thinking about working at La Grenouille, playing the piano."
"Playing the piano at a restaurant Edward? Come with me to the daily grind and get your freak on," Emmett teased.
I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "No thanks Emmett."
"Suit yourself bro- if playing the piano in a sleepy, boring place is exciting for you, go for it."
"It's not sleepy or boring. It caters to the wealthy on a daily basis. I will probably end up getting more in tips than you without losing any dignity in the process."
"You've got to have dignity first before you can lose it," Rosalie yelled down the stairs.
"She's one to talk-" Emmett murmured, "I wonder what she would charge to service my-" Emmett winked at me as he stalked up the stairs.
Bella giggled, "Well, you've got the perfect fingers-" she lifted my hands into hers, "long, smooth and oh so strong..."
I leaned into her. "Would you like to help me warm them up?"
The corners of her perfect lips curved up slightly. "I thought you'd never ask..."
