Hello and Good day!
This is a complete crack fic (am i using that right? hmm) and it's my first (my last two were alot more serious :p). I was just sitting at my computer reading other funny fics about Kuroshitsuji and this just popped up out of absolutely no where!
So please be nice, enjoy, and laugh when appropriate.
Ciel Phantomhive sat at his large desk, reading through reports of the underground and his Funtom company when Sebastian opened the door, carting in a tray of cakes and tea for his master.
"Lemon filling and Earl Grey as requested." Sebastian said placing the treats before Ciel. Then bowing and turning to take the cart out of the room when-
POOF!
Alois Trancy and Claude Faustus were standing in a blank gray room before them!
"Sebastian!" Ciel cried.
"Yes, young master!" Sebastian flew through the air, throwing silver knives out at Claude! Aiming straight for inbetween his eyes.
But the silverware hit an invisible wall and clanged to the floor.
Sebastian jumped into the air again, throwing his foot out ready to knock the other demon's block off.
But instead he got the shock of an eternity (i can't very well say lifetime now can i?) as bolts of electricity shot through him!
"Arrgghh!" Sebastian saw spots as he reached out for some sort of handhold before crumpling to the floor.
"Sebastian!"
"Your butler's so weak!" Alois huffed, "This is gonna suck!"
"...What?" Ciel asked, looking up from his butler for a moment.
"This stupid Bu-"
"THE BUTLER EXCHANGE PROGRAM!" A high and somewhat irratating voice sang from no where.
Then a door hidden in the wall opened and a man in a flashy purple suit and bright green sequin bow tie jumped through, followed by two men holding giant black camera's and headsets connected to gray flashing boxes on their belts. (Didn't expect that did you now? =^-^=)
Ciel stared at the newcomers like they were crazy.
"The what?"
"You heard me little man." The purple suit smiled, patting Ciel's hair. Ciel swatted at the hand but it moved before he could connect with it.
"Get up man, we roll in three seconds." Purple suit kicked at the unconcious Sebastian's leg until the poor demon groaned.
"Bob!" one of the camera men hissed.
"Hello! And welcome to this weeks edition of 'The Butler Exchange Program!' I'm your host: Sean Swanky!" A flashy sign popped out of the wall behind him, with lightbulbs flashing in time with their own beat.
"This week we take two young Earls Alois Trancy and Ciel Phantomhive and switch their butlers!" There was a puff of purple glitter smoke and Claude ended up behind Ciel and Sebastian stood upright behind Alois. Claude leaned in menacingly towards Ciel and Sebastian leaned away from a suddenly clingy Alois!
"Wait a minute!" Sebastian cried, a thought popping into his head, "Claude will just try to steal Ciel's soul! My master and I cant possibly be apart of this!"
"No, you can and you will be." Sean Swanky demanded, the plastic smile never slipping off his face. He snapped his fingers and then a lawyer popped up in a puff of gray smoke. He adjusted his glasses and opened a large binder.
The Lawyer cleared his throat and read: "In order to keep Black Butler the same after Sean Swanky is done with it, no souls are to be stolen, given away, or transferred to another demon. Doing so will terminate the demon."
Both Sebastian and Claude raised their eyebrows, "And how exactly will you do that?" Claude asked.
The lawyer opened his mouth to explain, but another puff of gray smoke made him disapear.
"That doesn't matter, all that does is that you know the number one rule."
"There are more?" Ciel sighed.
"Of course!" Sean smiled enthusiastically.
Sebastian cleared his throat, "Uh, what even is the point of this... thing?"
"Oh you don't know? Haven't you ever watched the show?" Sean asked.
"No."
"Well, the point is to see wich butler can survive the others master the longest. We basically take what you do in your boring, drab, everyday lives and put it on television while encouraging your masters to make your lives even more of a hell while we all laugh at you!"
"Wait a minute... so you want him and I to survive a regular day on steroids?" Claude asked.
"I'm all for it! It'll be fun to see how far you'll go Sebby." Alois sneered. Sebastian took a step back.
"Yes. This might be interesting. And if Claude is forced to take a break from trying to break my current contract then I might be able to think something up." Ciel smiled.
"Great we're all in agreement!" Sean clapped his hands together and everyone disapeared in a puff of purple or blue or gold smoke.
