Oh hello!
After a childhood of lurking, I've finally decided to contribute a little to my favorite FanFiction community. I plan on writing each chapter alternating between a memory and a situation later in life. Sounds weird, but just roll with it and you might like it. Maybe not. Just a fun little idea I had when I was a kid that never came to fruition. I published this first chapter under the name "Beginnings" about a week ago before realizing that I was not happy with the unpolished version I had posted. Here it is a bit fixed and I hope it's more acceptable.
Here goes:
Cho groaned, rubbing her aching shoulder as she sat down between a bemused Marietta and a ravenous Roger Davies who was already digging into his plate.
"What've you done to yourself?" Marietta asked her sweaty—and smelly—friend watching her clasp her shoulder.
"Took a bludger at practice tonight," Cho mumbled, shooting a pointed look at Duncan Inglebee who was piling up his plate with a rich beef stew and mashed potatoes. "Your job was to dodge them, Chang," he said teasingly pointing a spoon at her. "The beaters from other houses won't hit it as lightly as I did."
There were a few nods and halfhearted mumbles of agreement from Cho's other teammates sitting across from them. Grant Page—the tall Ravenclaw keeper said "Yeah, you might take a few to the gut, kid." He barked a laugh.
Cho raised her eyebrows in apprehension.
Roger, still in the process of chewing, turned to look at Cho as she stuffed sweaty arm guards and gloves into her bag. Marietta wrinkled her nose. "Come off it Page, don't scare the girl! You didn't do too bad, Cho. You dodged all the the other shots." he laughed, "and even then, you stayed on your broom after taking the hit."
Cho, gathering food onto her plate, grimaced. "I just hope I do alright when we actually play." Roger scoffed "Against Hufflepuff? We'll be fine. It'll be an easy first game for you, Cho trust me. They're too cautious to try anything dirty." He stabbed a cut of steak and waved it around animatedly. "I mean, they do have Diggory as a seeker, but he'll have way more trouble with tight turns—he's heavier than you and you're much sharper when it comes to scanning anyway."
"And plus," said Inglebee, "Me n' Samuels'll knock some bludgers his way. Right, Jason?" Jason Samuels, the second Ravenclaw beater grinned from ear to ear. "And keep 'em away from our delicate little seeker," he cooed.
Cho smiled inwardly leaning her cheek on her propped up arm, half listening to the table banter between her teammates that soon turned to strategy talk, an animated Roger Davies rolling green peas around on the table to demonstrate plays to his fellow chasers.
She was fond of this makeshift family she'd found in the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team even if she was the baby in every way of the lot. She'd come to Hogwarts alone and now-in her 3rd year-had gained 6 brothers. Cho was quickly snapped out of her thoughts as she was jabbed in the ribs by Marietta.
"Flitwick is coming!"
The team straightened out of their various huddles and turned towards their approaching Head of House. Flitwick beamed up at them, "How is my young Ravenclaw team doing?" he squeaked.
"Bloody brilliant, Professor." replied Roger, enthused, "We've just had a great practice and we're more than ready to take on Hufflepuff tomorrow." The stout professor chuckled "I can see you've all been working hard tonight," eyeing the mess of gear littering the table and floor. "Well, I hope you can do our house proud tomorrow!"
He looked at Cho, "and I wish you the best of luck in your first game tomorrow, Miss Chang," he said endearingly. "I see great potential in you."
Her cheeks going crimson from all the eyes on her, she thanked him with a shy smile.
Her heart in her throat, Cho laced up her boots and shinguards. She forced herself to take deep breaths looking at her reflection in the mirror as Marietta braided her hair tightly for her. The team had decided to change in the castle rather than in the cramped quarters that the pitch provided.
Marietta smiled, "Cho, you look like you could puke right about now." Cho let out a nervous laugh. "The boys did make me eat a decently large breakfast." Pleased with her work, Marietta gave the braid a quick test tug and retreated to her own trunk of clothes, pulling out a warm looking Ravenclaw scarf.
Cho got up and slid on her gloves, flexing her fingers till they were comfortable. "Thanks, Mari. See you at the pitch," Cho said, her broom in one hand as she stowed her wand away.
"You'll have to learn how to do a French Braid yourself someday, you know that, right?" came the dry teasing reply. Cho flashed a grinned as she left, the light material of her robes billowing behind her.
As she rounded the last turn of the flagstone steps down to the Ravenclaw common room, the nerves of the upcoming match returned. The rest of her team was downstairs, greeting Cho's nervous smile with assuring ones.
After pats on the back, joking, and ruffling of hair, the team made their way through the brisk early fall air. The breeze rustled through her robes, sending a wave of goosebumps rippling across her skin. The team made their way inside the tangle of wooden beams that made up the structure of the stadium. Her goosebumps remained.
She and the rest of her team began to line up in two rows behind the large barn-like doors. Cho caught a glimpse of the green pitch beyond, trying to quell her shaking.
She remembered her letter to her parents—excited to have made the position of starting seeker for Ravenclaw. Her mother had written back her displeasure while her father expressed his excitement for her. She thought of her father—the lionhearted patriarch of the Chang household always proud of her achievements. She remembered how he'd gotten her a Comet—her first racing broom—(much to the displeasure of his wife) and encouraged her to fly. She thought of his booming laugh and his warm smile.
She felt less nervous.
A few unsure looks rippled through the team as they heard the uproar that the Hufflepuff team garnered from the crowds. "Loyal lot, those Hufflepuffs," muttered Roger to no one in particular, mounting his broom.
The ever ecstatic voice of Lee Jordan floated across the crowds announcing the Ravenclaw roster. Cho's stomach turned at the sound of her own name. The doors opened. It was time. Cho kicked off the ground, her steady and stable Comet 260 beneath her.
Unable to keep the grin off her face, the sound of the crowd boomed in her ears, wind whipping through her robes and hair. She circled the pitch a few times with her team before they got into position. She watched as the seeker and captain of Hufflepuff's team—Cedric Diggory—stiffly shook hands with Roger.
The match began, Cho's eyes following the snitch until it disappeared into thin air. She circled far overhead the gameplay. Diggory was below her, scanning the Hufflepuff side of the pitch.
"AND IT'S CAPTAIN DAVIES OF RAVENCLAW WITH THE FIRST SCORE OF THE MATCH WITH A TEXTBOOK DIONYSUS DIVE! SOMEONE HAS BEEN REALLY PRACTICING THIS SUMMER."
Cho smiled, remembering Roger falling off his broom at practice over and over. As the game progressed, Ravenclaw's chasers proceeded to run rings around Hufflepuff, bringing the score to a round 100-30. She circled down, close to the ground now, brow furrowed. She caught a fleeting glimpse of gold above the left Ravenclaw goalpost.
"CHANG, DUCK!"
She flattened onto her broom handle just as a bludger sailed over her head. Inglebee, wielding his bat with both hands, sent it sailing back along the path it came.
"TRY THAT SHIT AGAIN RICKETT, I DARE YOU!" roared Duncan as a Hufflepuff beater stopped short to avoid the bludger. It sailed past him and walloped Zacharias Smith in the back with a solid thud.
"OH AND SMITH HAS TAKEN A BLUDGER RIGHT TO THE BACK, QUAFFLE IS PICKED UP BY STRETTON OF RAVENCLAW! OH AND A LUCKY SAVE FROM HUFFLEPUFF'S HERBERT FLEET!"
Cho recomposed herself. The snitch was gone. Damn.
She watched Diggory circle towards the Hufflepuff stands, shouting to his faltering teammates as they let another goal sail through the hoops.
And there it was.
Less than 5 feet behind Diggory's broom, the snitch twitched and glittered. Trying to hide her surprise, she started a pointed path in the opposite direction towards the top of the Slytherin stands.
"AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE RAVENCLAW SEEKER HAS SPOTTED THE SNITCH UP IN THE EASTERN STANDS. BLIMEY, SHE'S CERTAINLY GOING FOR IT!"
Follow me, follow me, follow me... Cho prayed, hoping that the experienced seeker would take the bait.
"AND IT LOOKS LIKE CHANG IS ON THE HUNT WAYYYYYY UP FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY DIGGORY! WHO WILL RETURN BACK DOWN WITH THE SNITCH IN HAND?!"
She turned her head just enough, and let herself smile a little as she blocked him. Her head spinning with the speed, Cho tried to calm herself. He was falling for it. She couldn't believe it.
She recalled Roger last night at dinner:
"They do have Diggory as a seeker, but he'll have way more trouble with tight turns—he's heavier than you and you're much sharper when it comes to scanning anyway."
Cho dived, changing direction severely as Cedric Diggory shot past her, still climbing at an alarming rate. Her stomach lurching into her throat, she sailed downwards, eyes scanning for the snitch when she passed the clouds. Her heart raced as she realized she was at the best possible position to see the snitch. The mid-afternoon sun was glinting off of anything bright enough to reflect it, and she was still high enough to see the pitch in its entirety.
The telltale glimmer of gold barely scraped the grass by the blue Ravenclaw stands. She saw a flash of yellow robes just making it through the clouds...
"CHANG IS BACK FROM THE SKY IN A HEADLONG DIVE! I DONT BELIEVE IT, SHE MUST HAVE FEINTED! DIGGORY MUST BE CURSING HIMSELF FOR FALLING FOR IT. CHANG IS HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE GROUND!"
She continued to hurtle towards the pitch, swooping past a bludger. All sounds were muffled by her pounding heart. All she saw was the snitch at the end of her tunnel vision. The logical part of her brain screamed for a look behind, but she denied it, knowing she'd crash if she did.
"AND DIGGORY'S PULLED UP EARLY! HE'S GOT INTO TOO DEEP A DIVE. CHANG IS STILL GOING FOR IT..."
Cho smiled to herself as everything seemed to move in slow motion. She pulled out of the dive, muscles screaming in protest, knees centimeters from the grass, and rocketed flat on her broom to the snitch, hand outstretched. Her fingers closed around the ball.
In disbelief, she thrust her closed fist into the air.
"BLOODY HELL! CHANG'S GOT IT! RAVENCLAW WINS BY A LANDSLIDE! 520-80 THANKS TO RAVENCLAW KEEPER GRANT PAGE AND THE STUNNER NOVICE CHO CHANG! HUFFLEPUFF COMPLETELY OWNED TODAY BY AN ABSOLUTE STUNNING RAVENCLAW TEAM."
Her heart was in her throat as she landed amidst her teammates raucous celebration still holding the snitch. Roger grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her and yelling something she couldn't even hear. She was still in absolute shock. Pats on the back and hugs assailed her as she and Grant waved to the whooping crowds of students. She turned to just catch the back of Cedric Diggory stiffly retreating from the pitch.
She was about to call out to him to shake his hand when Duncan came up behind her, lifting her up onto his shoulder. She squealed and laughed.
"There's our girl!" he roared happily carrying her, still laughing, to the changing rooms.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Diggory throw his broom to the ground and slip away.
I admit my writing could be much better, but I hope that this wasn't too hard a pill to swallow. I could say that reviews will make chapters come faster, but it's really the feedback that will further me as a writer and advance my story. With that in mind, I'd love some good feedback.
All the best,
TheBentWingBird
