Saving Yamamoto

-s2-

Yamamoto staggered inside the base holding his stomach to avoid losing his blood from a deep wound he got in battle. No one was in the hallways, much to his relief he didn't want a lot of people around him right now. Blood stained the carpet and left a trail all the way to his room where he discarded his jacket and shirt after locking the door behind him. Cold eyes stared at the mirror that was showing his disgusting reflection. Crimson was the only colour he could see on his skin.

'I'm nothing but a cold blooded murderer...' He thought as he turned on the hot water in the shower. He got in, ignoring the fact that the temperature was burning as he started to scrub his body raw. Every inch of him seemed like it was covered in blood and he just couldn't get it off. He continued until a full bar of soap was nothing but a thin piece that slipped from his hand and fell down the drain. With a curse he gave up and got out, placing a blue towel around his waist.

For hours he stared at the floor. It wouldn't be for a while before anyone else got back to the base so he had time to think. However, his thoughts were only of his murderous actions that happened mere moments ago. Yamamoto could still see the blood, the tears, and the faces of pure agony. He remembered watching them wither in pain before ending their lives out of mercy. He couldn't understand what happened. The mission he was sent on was meant to be a peaceful one. Once he and his small team got there though, they found that they were set up and to escape they had to kill many.

Reborn had said from the beginning that he was a born hit man. When he thought it was a game he always laughed when the kid said that, but know he wished it really was a game. After he had his first kill he couldn't handle it. It was his friend Gokudera that saved him from himself. This time though, he didn't think anyone could save him.

He reached out for his katana and pulled it out of his sheath. The blade was dirty, covered with stained the blood of their traitors. He licked his dry, chapped lips and placed the blade down on his wrist, giving it a clean shallow cut to start. His side was still bleeding; burning, itching... but he ignored it as he made a second cut, a little deeper than the first.

For a while this went on. Cut after cut, driving further into his skin with each slice. Soon, his whole arm was nothing but a cerise mess. He dropped his blade and allowed the fluid to run down his fingertips and drip on the floor. Emotionless eyes watched as the droplets fell heavily with a small plop when they hit the puddle it made, it seemed like was forced into a trance because of it.

A knock interrupted him, causing him to slightly jerk in surprise. "Yamamoto!" It was Gokudera. He tired to open the door, but it was locked. "Why did you lock the door? Open up!" He started to knock again.

Yamamoto never answered though. Instead he got up and walked over to the bathroom again, searching though the cabinet until he found a tiny container filled with pain killers. The knocking continued, getting louder each time.

"Damn it! There's blood on the ground here!" He could hear Gokudera yelling. "Yamamoto! Open this fucking door before I break it down!"

The rain guardian didn't listen though. He opened the container and poured out a bunch of the little pills into the palm of his clean hand. A moment's hesitation was all Gokudera needed to barge into Yamamoto's room and see him begin to choke down the overdose of medication.

Gokudera didn't waste any time to rush over to him and grabbing him by the back of the head. With a huffed and forced the rain guardian's lips open with his fingers. Some pills fell out of Yamamoto but the storm guardian wanted to make sure they were all out. He reached in further, ignoring the taller man's gags and lightly tugged on the man's uvula. Of course in reaction to this Yamamoto hunched over the sink and threw up the pills he managed to swallow.

While Yamamoto puked up his mistake, Gokudera watched with pity filled in his emerald eyes. His hand was slightly covered with spit and vomit, but he didn't mind. The Japanese man's skin was very pale and it worried the Italian.

This is the third time the baseball idiot was caught trying something like this. First was when he broke his arm and could no longer play baseball. If it wasn't for Tsuna, he would have committed suicide at the age of fourteen by jumping off the school's roof. The second time was his first kill as a hit man and Gokudera was the one to find him jumping off a bridge. The fall didn't kill him though; the silver haired man had to jump in the icy water to pull him to the surface. Each one of those times, Yamamoto was glad that he was saved after he came out of his depression.

After that second attempt the rain guardian swore he would never kill again. However, even Tsuna knew there would come a time where he would have to. Being in the mafia there was no way around it. Most of the time it was great, protecting their families was their life's work. At times like this though everyone wished they could get out of it.

Gokudera wondered how many were killed and why.

Yamamoto wiped his mouth with the back of his clean hand. For a while no one said anything. Tension built between the two guardians. Finally, the rain guardian spoke. "Why...?" Such a simple question, but it held a lot of emotional weight.

"You know why." Gokudera answered him. "You know how much pain you would bring to the family if I didn't stop you. I don't understand why you keep trying this."

"Because I'm a murderer..." Yamamoto mumbled. "I don't deserve to live!" He fell to the ground, his body finally realised just how much blood it has lost. "If I live, only more will die..."

With a sigh Gokudera washed his hands before helping Yamamoto to stand. He walked him out of the bathroom and over to his bed. "If you didn't kill, innocent people would have died instead." After laying Yamamoto down he quickly grabbed the first aid kit that every guardian had in their closet. "Tell me what happened." He said as he pulled out some alcohol to clean the wounds.

It took about a minute before the injured guardian said anything. Once Gokudera pressed a cold cloth dipped in rubbing alcohol on his wound roughly though he hissed and began to tell what happened; knowing if he didn't Gokudera would only be harsh when cleaning his wounds. "W-well... You know I was sent to make peace with the Yukaiyo Family... They told Tsuna that they were tired of us fighting over the trading and... Tsuna was happy that they wanted to make a peace treaty. So I gathered some troops and headed over there.

"W-when we arrived at the pier everything seemed to be going well. Until one of theirs stabbed one of mine in the back... literally..." His brown eyes closed at the memory. "A-after th-that... all hell broke loose and they attacked all at once. We killed to protect ourselves, but even then only three out of the seven of us made it back alive, two died on the way to the hospital and the other two... died at the pier.

"As for them, I tried to only injure them, but they came too quickly and I had to get them before they kill more of my team. They had ten all together... and I killed five while my team gathered the injured and carried them to safety before I escaped myself."

Gokudera listened to every word that Yamamoto said. He nodded every once in a while to let him know that he was paying attention. "I see..." He murmured. "You did it to protect your men though. They were asking for it by lying to us like that. You were doing the right thing, Yamamoto."

"It doesn't feel like it though..." By this time Gokudera had already patched up Yamamoto's side and was now working on the self inflicted cuts. "I wish that this was a game... That none of this was real and just something of our wild imagination like I use to think it was..."

"Well, it's not." Gokudera wasn't about to give Yamamoto a false hope. He was always straight forward when it came to the mafia and he always will be. "You killed to save lives. What do you think would have happened if they did manage to kill you?" He waited a moment for the other to answer, when he never did he answered instead. "They would have gotten cocky and gathered up as many men as they could to drive their way here and murder everyone we know and love before we even get the chance to lift a finger. Then they would come to take over the Vongola Family altogether."

He finished bandaging all of Yamamoto's cuts and looked pleased with his work. He stood up straight and stared at Vongola's rain guardian. "Stop punishing yourself." He told him as he fixed the blankets to cover Yamamoto's body that still was only wearing a fluffy towel. "Don't bother getting dressed tonight. I want you to rest."

Taking off one of the many red box weapons on his belt, Gokudera fed it flames from his ring to release Uri. The storm based feline meowed on the floor and stretched, his ears twitching left and right while his tail wagged, happy that he was free to walk around. "Uri," Gokudera looked down at his animal comrade. "Watch Yamamoto while I'm gone. If he moves away from the bed you come for me right away." Uri mewed in response, leaping on to the bed and sat down, keeping a close eye on the injured guardian.

Yamamoto's boxes then started to fire up with a bright blue flame. For a moment they didn't understand what was going on until the rain based animals burst out of the two boxes and appeared on the bed as well.

The rain guardian blinked at his two animal friends. "What..." The sparrow, Kojirou, perched on Yamamoto's shoulder while Jirou sat next to Uri at the end of the bed. Jirou barked at Yamamoto and whimpered slightly. Gokudera smiled.

"See, they're worried about you too." He told Yamamoto who seemed to be still confused. "You worried them by doing what you did and they don't like seeing you hurt just as much as you hate seeing them hurt. All of us feel this way Yamamoto."

"Guys..." Yamamoto whispered. He petted Kojirou on his tiny head with one finger. "I'm sorry..." He closed his eye tightly, at last he understood.

"I told you last time, Yamamoto, that you are not alone in this." Gokudera took out a pack of cigarettes. He took one out and held it between his lips. "If you feel like this go and talk to someone. Everyone, besides maybe Hibari, will listen to you." Yamamoto nodded, a small smile was coming back to his face.

"Get some rest..." The storm guardian told him once more. "Maybe you'll be lucky enough to fall asleep before Jyudaime comes in here and scolds you."

"He worries too much..." Yamamoto laughed a little, that made Gokudera feel more at ease about his mental and emotional stability.

"He has a reason to be." Opening the door Gokudera was about to leave. "He wants all of us to be safe and I'm sure he will have words for the Yukaiyo Family. Maybe even the Vendicare Prison guards."

He then thought of something. "Promise me something, idiot." Gokudera murmured. "When you think about trying something like this again... Promise that you will go and talk to someone instead of doing anything stupid..."

Yamamoto stared at Gokudera for a moment. He then smiled and nodded. "Alright, I promise."

Satisfied, Gokudera went to report of Tsuna. Yamamoto was slightly worried about what Tsuna would say to him after he hears what he nearly did, but he knew it was all just because his boss cared about him.

He smiled at the animals. "I understand now." He told them. "Thank you."

-s2-

End.