Fighting for Ponies
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, et al., own the characters and settings. The prepositions are my own, but not yet worth millions of dollars.
Summary: The monks made a wee mistake in their hurried spell-casting, and the Slayer, along with Willow and Xander, find themselves enslaved to the whims of four-year-old Dawnie Summers. The Apocalypse will have to wait—because Dawnie wants her pony.
Warning: Crack!fic. This means the characters act dumb and say dumb things because the author is temporarily on crack, and the words look funnier this way.
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"I want my pony."
The four little words hit Buffy like a bus hitting a Hellgoddess.
"You want a what?"
Xander shot Buffy an exasperated look. "It's a four-letter word, Buffy. Even I understood it. She wants a baby horse."
The Slayer still seemed at a loss, so Xander spelled it out for her, then said, "You'll have to take another job. You know, to pay for it?"
Buffy's face was a mask of horror. "But I can't do that! I won't even have time to stop apocalypses if I spend any more time doing menial labor!"
Xander chuckled unsympathetically. "It's your choice Buffy. Either let the world end, or let little Dawnie cry herself to sleep every night."
Buffy groaned. "Do you have to put it like that? God, yes, I'll get a third job. I just found out that they're opening a third Doublemeat two blocks away. They have to take me if I'm already hired, right?"
Xander squinted, and hummed and hawed a bit. "Sure, Buffy, that's a great idea."
Pulling a last clown face at Dawnie, Xander stood up. "Well I have to get going, Buf, but I'll see what I can scout out on the pony-buying front for Dawnie."
Buffy nodded her thanks to Xander, and fussed with Dawnie's custom-designed bib. The thing had been riddled with stains not five minutes into its purchase, but it had been Dawnie's first request, and not eating for three days had easily been worth her charming little smile.
"Dawnie," Buffy crooned, "I won't let anyone hurt you, ever. And I'll have you that pony by the end of the week."
With those fighting words, Buffy got up to go get re-re-re-employed.
