Why I'll Never Let You Go

It was getting late and Penn was pacing the room, getting more and more irate as he went. "Why the fuck hasn't she called? She said she'd call be 9 and it's now twenty to 10!" He threw himself down on his bed and glanced over at the smaller man on the bed next to his. As usual Teller said nothing just looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Penn sighed and turned to stare at the clock on the wall opposite, and then all of a sudden he heard "Have you tried calling her?" He swung round to face Teller and laughed "Why would I do that?" The older man shook his head and replied "Well maybe you should try it, after all she might be wondering why she hasn't heard from you." He then stopped and thought for a moment "In fact didn't you suggest that you'd call her? You said it would be cheaper." Penn paused whatever smartassed remark he was about to fire in his partner's direction "Oh shit! Yeah I did say that. Damn it Teller why didn't you remind me?" He shouted so suddenly it startled Teller and he fell off the bed. "I'm not your secretary you know!" Teller retorted "It was your idea to come here, I said it would be easier to make the arrangements beforehand but no you wanted to get here first!" It was rare that Teller raised his voice but Penn had really pushed it this time and in his infinite wisdom he decided to push a little harder. "Well if you don't like it you know where the door is!" Penn shouted back knowing full well he was being childish. With that Teller got up and left without saying anything. *Ah he'll be back* Penn thought to himself as he watched Teller storm out.

The time passed quickly and it was soon 1am Teller still hadn't come back and it had started raining quite heavily. Penn was beginning to get worried about where Teller had got to. After all neither of them knew the area and from what he'd heard Penn gathered it wasn't the nicest of neighbourhoods. He decided he had to go find Teller before something happened to him so he grabbed his jacket and set off into the rain. He wandered up and down the side streets calling out for Teller realising with some amusement that it sounded like he was calling for a dog. After wandering for a while and with no sign of Teller anywhere he started to worry even more and decided to go back to the hotel and see if he'd turned up there. On the way back Penn figured one last look down a few of the side streets wouldn't hurt so he turned down the next one he came to and found himself face to face with a very cold, wet Teller. "There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you. Look man I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off on one like that." As he was speaking he noticed that Teller was shaking quite heavily. He'd been out in the rain for a long time and wasn't wearing his jacket so Penn realised that the street was probably not the best place to be apologising. "Come on let's go back to the hotel." He said handing Teller the jacket he was wearing, Teller nodded a silent thank you and put the jacket on before setting off back.

Once in their room Penn turned to the smaller, older man beside him and sighed. "Like I said before I'm sorry. It's not your fault we ended up here and I should have listened to you but I'm a stubborn kid. I thought you'd have realised that by now man." Penn added a laugh to the last bit to show it was a joke. He looked down at Teller who was still shaking from the effects of the weather. "Here man let me help you. You can barely stand up." He said helping Teller move over to his bed. He eased him down onto the bed and slipped the jacket from around his partner's shoulders. "Can you manage to get changed?" Penn asked with genuine concern in his voice. "You're really shaking, let me get that button for you." Teller shook his head in protest as Penn reached over to help him with his collar button. "I can manage just fine thanks." Teller lied, his fingers were so numb he'd be lucky if he could untie his laces but he wasn't going to tell Penn that. "Ok man if you refuse to let me help you" Penn said sadly stepping back shaking his head before looking away. "Do you at least want me to start the shower for you? It'll help you warm up." He asked one last time to extend the olive branch. Teller thought about it before nodding slowly and answering with a quiet "Yes please"

Penn went through to the bathroom and turned on the shower getting sprayed with ice cold water for his trouble. He stood there swearing at the nozzle from Hell for a few minutes before noticing he was being laughed at. He turned to see Teller standing behind him laughing. "Oh! You think that's funny do you?" He said with mock anger in his voice and glaring at the smaller man standing beside him. It was funny but Penn thought that Teller suddenly looked much smaller wearing the dressing gown the hotel had provided which was several sizes too big for him. It swamped Teller's slight frame and he seemed to disappear into it, so much so he had to hold it closed. Penn chuckled at the sight before turning to leave the room and give Teller some privacy. As soon as he got to the door he felt Teller's hand on his arm, he turned around to find that even though he was wearing the dressing gown Teller was still fully clothed. "Ah ha! So you do need my help after all?" Penn asked jokingly, Teller nodded sadly and Penn suddenly felt incredibly guilty that it was his big mouth that had got them into this in the first place. "Ok hold still and I'll help you out of those wet clothes." As he reached for the buttons on Teller's shirt he noticed that he'd turned his head away. "What's the matter?" Penn asked softly, Teller didn't reply just kept looking away from him. Penn noticed Teller's shoulders were shaking slightly and soon realised why Teller wouldn't look him in the eye, he was crying. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked again as gently as he could. "Nothing" was the reply he received. "Nothing my ass!" Penn snapped "You're crying and you expect me to believe there's nothing wrong? That's bullshit and you know it!" That outburst only seemed to make everything worse, the tears which had been silent before suddenly turned into loud sobs. "Oh! Hey man I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped like that. I just get frustrated that you don't talk to me when something's the matter." Penn said in a soothing manner but it didn't make any difference. "Come on Teller! Talk to me for fucks sake. How can I help if you won't tell me what's upset you like this?" Teller mouthed something through the sobs but couldn't seem to find his voice so Penn tried the only thing he could think of. He reached down and pulled Teller close and held onto him until the tears subsided. "There, you feel better now?" Penn asked. He glanced down at the smaller man in his arms and thought to himself *He's not that much older than me and yet we're so different. I'm loud and brash, he's quiet, polite and sensitive. Why do I feel so protective of him all of a sudden?* Almost as if he could read Penn's mind Teller looked up at him with those puppy dog eyes of his and gave a pathetic sniffle. "I'm tired" was all he said before resting his head against Penn's chest again. "Come on then, let's go to bed. It's been a long night for us both." Penn said and Teller gave a small nod of agreement. "You go on through, I'm just gonna turn the shower off and get a drink of water." Penn said softly and Teller turned and wandered back to the bedroom.

When he returned to the room Penn found Teller sat on his own bed waiting for him to come back *Heh he is like a puppy, kinda* Penn thought looking at Teller perched at the end of his bed. "What's up man?" he asked. Teller said nothing just stared at the floor in front of him with a sad expression on his face. "You wanna sleep in my bed?" Penn asked him and he saw Teller nod quickly. "Well come on then you soft little shit." He said with a laugh as Teller got up and wandered towards the bed. "You might wanna change into your pjs first though" Teller stopped upon hearing that looked down and realised he still hadn't got changed. He turned back to his own bed, picked up his pyjamas and pottered through to the bathroom to get ready. Penn chuckled to himself and changed into his own pjs, just as he finished his buttons he heard the bathroom door open and saw Teller wander out. "Come on then, in you get" Penn said patting the mattress, Teller hesitated for a second before climbing into the bed. Penn climbed in beside him and wrapped his arms around him pulling him into a warm embrace. "You ok Teller?" His voice was soft so as to not startle the smaller man snuggled in his arms. He could feel Teller nodding against his chest and gave a slight squeeze of his arms, this seemed to bring some comfort to Teller. As they drifted into a relaxed sleep Penn planted a gentle kiss onto Teller's forehead and whispered "As much as we may argue and fight, there's no denying we have a special bond. That's why I'll never let you go."